I'm sick, and I just pulled this out of my ass somehow.
I hold my hands up in the air. It's not my time yet. One fuck of a birdie just won't do.
Bella smirks over her shoulder and her lips look all pink and plump. Makes sense with the dick injection she received a while ago. There's a special going on right now - free 99.
Fuck, you're an idiot.
But really, that's a fucking steal.
"Did you say Cullen?" Esme asks, and fuck, I thought the fuck you speech earlier was a sayonara to the cunt licker..
Like mother, like son, I guess. Makes me want to never lick one again…
Wait a goddamn minute. That reminds me. I didn't even try to lick lovebird's.
I slowly lower my hands, eyes on the gun toting bastard and push my front into birdie's back. He's distracted by Esme's dumbass, so I lean down and whisper into Bella's ear. "I didn't even taste it."
"What?"
"Not even a lick…" I swipe my tongue up her cheek. "...you owe me, lovebird. Or I owe you…"
"What are you going on about?"
"That ride later? Change of plans. A detour actually." Fuck, I'm getting hard just thinking about it. "On your way down to dickville, you're gonna make a pit stop…"
"He can't be here!"
"Ma'am…"
Lifting my eyes, I glare daggers at the bitch ruining my romantic seduction. Little Lovebird knows where this is going, and she wants it. My tongue. Her pussy. We've got fucking plans.
I grip Bella's hips and start to pull her sideways, toward the outside doors. I don't even think the fuckwads will notice if we're gone.
Esme's hysterical, hyperventilating and shit, and honestly, she could choke on air for all I care.
Peace out, bitch.
I shove Bella through the door, her cute as fuck giggle making my balls tingle. That is until they're ramming into her tight little ass from her sudden stop.
"Shit, lovebird, don't damage the goods…"
"Hello, officer," Bella says, and I lift my head, meeting the eyes of a second officer.
Damn, he looks familiar.
No, seriously, it's like looking in a goddamn mirror. I'm better looking, of course, but it's me 20 years into the future.
"Fuck, you're not my dad are you?"
Wouldn't that be some shit. Bella's dad's inside, my dad's outside.
That'd really be some shit…
Wait, what's the look for?
"It was a joke," I say, chuckling a bit at the look on the poor sap's face. "Seriously, I don't even know who the fuck my dad is."
He swallows, and Bella's silently looking back at me, biting her lip, and as much as I want my teeth to take over for her, the air is a little thick with tension and not the ride my cock kind.
"Uh."
Bella turns away from me and steps forward. "So, are you Edward's dad?"
"Carlisle?"
Esme's voice - I've had enough of it, but the look of terror on her face is enough to make me pause my murderous thoughts and take a look back over to Carlisle.
"You said you got an abortion," Carlisle says.
"Oh shit," Bella gasps, falling into my body when Carlisle pushes through us. Rather fucking rudely, I'd say.
"Edward…"
"Shhh…" I hiss at lovebird, my eyes trained on Esme and Carlisle. "I think that's my dad."
I can't see the eye roll but I damn well hear it when Bella pinches my side, saying, "No shit, sherlock."
"Oh, I'm gonna give you something to roll your eyes about, lovebird, just you fucking wait."
She laughs and pushes in deeper into my side like she can't get close enough. I called that shit. Balcony birdie's all about my dick. I fucking knew it.
Esme's hands are on her hips, trying to act tough but even bitches get scared, and the bitch is scared. "You left me."
"You cheated on me."
Like mother, like goddamn son.
"You worked all the time. You were never even home. What did you expect from me?"
Carlisle glances over his shoulder, and I tip my chin up for no other reason than being unfuckingnerved that I look exactly like the guy.
How in the holy fuck did Esme get away with living in the same damn city as the guy and him not know about the beautiful creature his sperm made…
"What are you even doing here?" Esme asks, changing the subject. "You moved away."
Oh, I see.
"I have a son I don't even know," Carlisle growls.
"Well, you left the one you did know, so what the hell does it even matter."
"He wasn't mine!" Carlisle's yelling now, and…
"Wait," I say, stepping forward with my sexy sidekick. "Emmett and I don't have the same dad?"
"Go away, Edward," Esme sneers. "We never wanted you here and you came anyway, and we still don't want you here."
The slap is so fucking loud, it's almost unreal, but the way Esme's head jerks to the side, well that shit is fanfuckingtastic.
"Bella," her dad scolds.
"You are the lowest of the low..." Bella says, pointing in Esme's red hand printed face.
Goddamn.
Just goddamn.
Kind of makes me want to see her handprint all over my dick.
"...you don't deserve him. He's way too fucking good for you and that man you call a son in there."
Esme steps forward, and I pull Bella back.
"I want her arrested for assault," Esme says, holding her cheek.
"Someone should have arrested you a long time ago for neglect, you old fucking hag."
"Bella!"
"Dad, not now, please," Lovebird says, all exasperated and annoyed, rubbing her ass all over my dick. I'm sure it's not on purpose with our dad's looking on. "You deserve to rot in hell."
"Ma'am, I'm going to need you to step inside while things cool down."
"Arrest her!" Esme screams, jerking away when Bella's dad reaches for her. "Him, too!"
Carlisle glances over at me, and I shrug. "I haven't seen her in six years…"
"Ma'am, calm down."
"Don't you tell me to calm down. Get your hands off me." She slaps him more than once, and then he's got her in handcuffs and she's ugly crying, screaming for Emmett.
Bella starts laughing, and wow, this whole day kind of turned out better than I thought.
Rosalie thinks Emmett fucked around last night. Lovebird made a fool of them both. Esme's spending the night in the slammer, and I have a dad.
At least I think I do.
If I don't, then I dopplegangered the hell out of him.
"See ya, dad," Bella calls, blowing her dad a kiss as he drags a kicking and screaming Esme to his car.
"So...uh, hey, dad," I say, and Bella snorts a laugh.
He looks between the both of us before saying, "I didn't know. I never would have…"
"Let him be raised by that animal?" Bella asks, snuggling deeper into my dick.
He rubs the back of his neck, and I don't know what to say. I mean, I don't know the guy. I'm not good at this comforting shit. I'm the kid in this situation. As much as I'm stoked to know I have a dad that didn't just abandon my fine ass, all I can think about is fucking the one in front of me. Fucking it. Making sweet love to it. Licking it. There's a plethora of choices to choose from.
"I should go help…" he jerks a thumb behind him, but pulls out a card, handing it to me. "That's my number if you want...if you ever want to…"
Oh for fuck's sake. I push lovebird out of the way and give my old man a hug. It's awkward as hell, and I kind of want to shed a few tears for the lost years, but I don't. He hugs me back, and we're both deep breathing like dumb motherfuckers, but shit, it feels kind of good. My mom may be a Satan herself, but Carlisle seems like a good one.
"I'll call you," I say, pulling back.
He nods and swallows and smiles a little before heading off to help the other one with Esme.
"That was so sweet," Bella says. "You have a daddy." She smirks.
"Don't make me wipe that smirk off those sexy lips with my dick."
"I'd like to see you try."
"Yeah? Right here?"
"I dare you."
I start yanking at my zipper, and she slaps my hand away, nicking my poor dick with those cute little fingers. "Watch it, birdie. Precious cargo." She grabs my hand and pulls me toward the parking lot. "Where are we going?"
"You're gonna drive, and I guess I'll let you rub your dick on my lips while you do it. Can you multitask, McBaby?"
"You bet your McAss, I can, little birdie. I'm gonna multitask all over your face."
"We'll see," she sasses.
"Mmmhmm," I say, licking my lips. "We'll see."
She gives me that fuck me smile over her shoulder, and oh yeah, I'm gonna fuck that smile up.
Little Lovebird's gonna choke on it.
And like it.
Fuck.