Oniichan's Friends

Butler's Dormitory...

'Phew...great, my birthday and it's that time of the month!' Kureha quickly popped meds for certain issues after getting dressed.

She was indeed a feminine version of Alluka, with black hair and gray eyes. Considering they're twins yet the way she looked, it was like she has no androgyny whatsoever and looked extremely feminine that anyone can tell apart 'the twins'.

'That probably hurts...I'm suddenly glad I'm not a real girl.' Alluka shivered as he looked at his twin who was having period cramps, making Kureha annoyed.

'Gee, thanks!'

'Oh yeah, oniichan's here.' said Alluka brightly. 'But he uh...got caught by big brother on mama's orders and he's grounded with a spanking.'

Spanking, by Zoldyck standards, is torture training.

Not a typical 'put the kid on the lap and smack his/her bum with a slipper'.

'Aiya...' Kureha scratched her head. Killua went for the Hunter Exams for kicks, unaware that Illumi also had to take it because he needed a license for his next job. 'Well, he won't be seeing us for a while. For now because I am born, father might chuck me out on jobs, so I'm leaving the farms to you, OK? That's your job from now on.'

'Hai~' Alluka pouted. 'How come I don't get to go out?'

'You know full well why you can't go out.' Kureha deadpanned. Alluka grumbled.

Alluka hosted Nanika who grants wishes in exchange for favors. If one knew the rules, it has extreme abuse potential that can lead to catastrophic consequences, plus the deaths of the entire family without even knowing WHY they're killed while minding their own business!

'So my old job, you and Nani inherit now, m'kay? Let's ask how he got caught!'

xxx

'Hoh, I heard you're born tonight, Kureha.' said Silva, fondly mussing his daughter's untied hair making Kureha giggle. She was technically, the youngest, being born years after Kalluto, but physically a year older because her body is a female version of Alluka's, but spiritually older. It got confusing at first, until great-grandfather and grandfather decided, 'She's eleven, that's it, period!' no need to scramble their brains over it!

She liked Silva more as a father.

He prioritized his family, unlike Iemitsu who prioritized Vongola over family welfare.

With Mukuro having the Vongola Gear, he was a Mist more powerful than Mammon that he can sneak past Iemitsu's intuition and dive in for information she wants regarding how he thinks about his wife and child at home.

To her horror and to his disgust, she chooses Silva any day. With good reason.

Silva actually cares for his whole family despite how they turn out to be and prioritizes their futures. Assassins they may be in career, but they actually have a happy childhood before physical training begins. They have playrooms and playgrounds and toys!

'Yes. Well, puberty happened...' said Kureha with a sigh. 'I'm just glad that the Butler Quarters Clinic has a decent supply of necessities.'

'Is oniichan's detention over yet?' Alluka piped up.

'Well, not yet for now.' said Silva. 'Leaving home without any of us knowing is forbidden for you kids, especially for your older brother who is the heir and my successor.' he said.

Killua, not Illumi.

In every generation, there appears to be a prodigy child who would be named as the heir. That person is heir without fail, no arguments as the family heir sires or bears children more superior than the previous generation. In other words, they are valued for this reason than their actual fighting power and skill. And a Zoldyck Wife's most important duty is to keep bearing children until the promised child is born. Kureha doesn't know how the clan decides this. Its a knowledge only passed down to heirs and their spouses. Children are forbidden to know.

When Killua was born, Silva was OK with just three sons, but Kikyo wanted a daughter, saying, 'Jeez you clueless husband! Any woman would want a daughter!' Alluka's a boy, Kalluto's a boy and Kalluto was a big baby who caused her enough birthing pains she cannot carry one any more to her dismay. That is, until Kureha existed to her delight and doted on her as she did Killua, her favorite son...and Alluka to an extent, being a trans, though she feared Nanika once they figured out the official rules to Wish Granting.

And Kalluto being the one to stop her baby-popping, she doesn't pay much attention so that leaves her to do the parenting and having Kalluto tag along. Kalluto's a straight boy, but so he wouldn't be forgotten, Kureha and Alluka takes him along whenever possible even if it meant wearing dresses.

No child, should be neglected for what wasn't their fault. Kalluto felt he wasn't wanted. Kureha complained to Silva who did his best in including Kalluto whenever he could because while he understands his wife's feelings, it doesn't mean their kids should pay the price simply for having to be born in a difficult way. End result, Kalluto's close to her and Alluka though he's forbidden to say his name for his own sake and he goes to their father when he needs something, and while Alluka sleeps with Killua, Kalluto sleeps with her in their rooms. She still has some sky aura of 'home' but not everything else, to her so Kalluto doesn't feel lonely.

Now, he trains under their father so its her and Alluka in the farms.

'He'll be there for a week longer and until then, visiting Detention is forbidden.'

'Awww...'

'Welp, he got caught...' Kureha shrugged. '...the butlers said he was in the Hunters Exam...why on earth would he go there when with our power alone we can go anywhere we want with impunity? He doesn't even have a demanding client like biggest brother does.' Kureha wondered, pulling off good acting skills as she and Alluka er, helped Killua go vamoose. 'I bet he didn't count on biggest brother being there.'

'Beats me, I'll talk to him tomorrow morning.' Silva told the twins. 'For now, for your debut I'll see what job you can start with as Alluka will take over the farms. Alluka, Kureha taught you all you needed to know?' Killua and Kureha were safe from Nanika's expensive pesterings. It only wants their attention, doting and praising if it does good. So Kureha's name being known is not fatal for her and the family as a whole as while inside their headspace, she raised the two of them upon waking her up until parting day.

'Yup. I can take over papa!' Alluka chimed. 'But oneechan before you go help me out with the preggy ones OK? I'm not a Vet like you yet I might miscarry the new ones!' she fretted anxiously.

'Hai hai, I'll teach you, hands on!' Kureha laughed. 'Dad, we got ten due pregnant pigs, and three cows, OK? I'll teach the kids the joys of being a Farmhouse Midwife!'

Alluka looked green and gagged, making their father laugh.

As the twins left, Silva watched the twins go. Before birth, Kureha's colors were brown. Now she was truly Alluka's twin in hair and eye colors. However, she was still her own entity. Despite her age, she is spiritually Illumi's age. Just how the hell did this happen with one of his boys? Nanika is manageable to an extent. With Kureha's help, everyone must remain nameless around her...or else shit happens. Alluka can never be an assassin as a result, but a glorified farmer at home. She only had training just so she won't be killed so easily. And Kureha was doggone invaluable. Training the younger kids with that system on, doubled the benefits as during studies, they never forget what they read in books and lectures in class! Illumi and Milluki required reviewing until they can't forget! Heck, even previous generations!

It made education incredibly easy and because Kureha was born that way, what she knows, Alluka and Nanika knows by default having shared the same brain for years but being a survivalist, Kureha needed lessons in stuff she didn't know. She knows how to fight, but nothing about assassinating. She has to be active in class to keep the system on. Having the status menu on activates the cheat and the benefits gained is based on how effective the teacher is due to a child's limited vocabulary. The only problem being the physicals as everyone all has different aptitudes, but that can be overlooked compared to this. But this boon lasts as long as Kureha is alive, so he'll have to be careful in what jobs he sends her on.

So for at least, hopefully four generations, this power lasts!

xxx

Three days and nights later...

In Kukuroo Mountain, the Farmland is located in a nice valley...where crops are planted and grow supernaturally-fast due to Kureha's reality-warping gaming ability, and designated places for cows, pigs and chickens to move around before going back to their barns. Kureha DOES own aquaculture farms, but Butlers manage it for her down the ocean, owning shellfish farms. But for all her gaming cheats, not even she, can protect her farm from Red Tide. But when it's safe, the family and butlers enjoys the shellfish.

But there is one dangerous farm Kureha has.

In an isolated area, is a reinforced farm...for Great Stamp Pork! Their feed consists of the deceased in Heaven's Arena, which is a steady supply of food...provided the deceased hasn't taken drugs otherwise they'll have to thoroughly flush and clean it first! Good Bodies are quartered, and organs checked for parasites before tossing it into the feed. Kureha owns a flock of fifty of these things, and she strictly keeps that number that when piglets are weaned, oldest pigs are culled off. And sold to the rich at Christmas at high prices as a delicacy using a different name. Butlers clean their cages as part of training as well. Cleaning their bedding and reinforced caged ranch of poo and pee? If you're slow, you die!

'Phew, that's pretty-much it, but we leave the clean-up to the parents...for the first month at least, so its hands-off from here on and next month their soiled bedding will be replaced to avoid bacterial infection.' said Kureha as she and Alluka took off their protective waterproof gear as birthing 'slime' is gross as the Butlers hosed both down with water. 'So how's being a midwife?'

'I just wanna go to sleep and forget what I did today! It's freaky!' Alluka shuddered.

'Oi oi, you'll have to get used to it because I'll be chucked on missions soon and you're taking over!...Hey!' Kureha's eyes popped as Alluka's aura changed. '...she ran away didn't she?' Kureha harrumphed with an armfold as the butlers gulped. They switched!

Due to being three in one for years, only Kureha has the ability to know who is who in that body when 'they' don't talk. Not even Killua knows unless reference uttered is different.

'Ai!' Nanika piped up making Kureha sigh.

'Well, one more cow to go Nanika, get some Midwife experience too and after a month, you'll enjoy having cute babies running around to look after.' Kureha smiled. 'Imagine, trained assassins assisting in childbirth. The irony!' she laughed. 'Let's go see Bessie next! Learn this so little brother will learn from you too.'

They had to deal with safe pigs first, before the cows. Great Stamps? Nada.

xxx

Upon going home after a tough day's work, she overheard some butlers talk.

'...what's going on?' she asked them.

'Ah, Kureha-sama...you see...'

The butlers told her what's going on.

'Hooo? I'll check it out. Go tell dad I'm gonna vet these guys. If they're just money-hunters using Killu, I'll bring their heads home.' and she went to take a bath first and got dressed before going out again. She went out to the Guardhouse to spy on the guests.

One man and two teenagers one of whom her age. Made to clean by the janitors, even. Yare yare.

One of the janitors went out and she appeared before him.

'K-Kureha-sama!' Seaquant gulped nervously. Even if she's one of the nicest Zoldycks, she still obeys the scary ones!

'I came to see if they're the real deal.' said Kureha. 'Given our oh-so-wonderful reputation, its easy to fake stuff like this~'

Seaquant has nothing to say about that. Wonderful reputation indeed! The most feared even above the Genei Ryodan in the Underworld!

This family doesn't believe in friends either, and its well-justified that they're a closely tight-knit lot. Due to their occupation, they made themselves lonely and isolated in turn. Unable to trust.

Kureha walked past him and opened the door. Seaquant just thought, may god have mercy on their souls.

xxx

'Back so soon Seaquant?' Zebro called out, but no answer. With good question.

A small foot in a brown stocking was seen. Oh my, a girl came in. 'Kureha-sama.' Zebro greeted, going ten-hut nervously, much to the puzzlement of the boys.

"This girl is a Zoldyck?" Leorio, Kurapika and Gon thought. She was very cute, around Gon's age and wore a blue dress befitting of a rich girl, but Zebro is nervous. They took this as a warning sign.

'Calm down Zebro. You're not in danger...but they are.' Kureha smiled as the boys felt a malevolent aura that threatened to suffocate them while Zebro felt only a quick, slight one so he'd know what the others are feeling. 'So, you claim to be Killu's friends?' she said, taking a chair and sat down and rested her chin on laced fingers. 'Zebro.' she tossed out a tea bag to him which he caught, and went to quickly making tea with it. 'From the grapevine, you're Hunters and also Killu's friends. But there must be something he saw in you...given our unique situation, you see?' she said, not letting up her killing intent. 'According to Illumi-nii, Gon even broke his arm!'

'S-so what if I did?!' Gon forced himself to talk despite the overwhelming fear he felt. 'He pissed me off!'

'Nah, I'm not mad. Nobody in this family is.' Kureha laughed. 'Very few people, can catch him off-guard, toss him AND break his arm in one go,' Zebro's closed eyes popped as he squawked at her claims. '-just one-handed cuz' you're a cripple!' and it's apparently Gon who broke his arm. He can't believe that this...this BUNNY-like boy who radiated innocence can do such a thing! 'He was quite amused, but is confident you'll give up once you see how different our world is...but he's way too cynical, and that cynicism is justified.' she told the boys as she stopped her killing intent once Zebro put tea before her and she took a drink. The boys finally gasped from freedom and took deep gasping breaths.

'We are very famous, notorious and feared. Our names are the most feared even above the Genei Ryodan, you see?' Kureha told them. 'Because we are the shadows of death ourselves. Our clients pay us to kill who they want dead. Because it's known that we're a family with children included, they can't even trust kids anymore, fearing any kid near them, is a potential Zoldyck. Those who earned a lot of enemies in politics, business or the media...fear us. But naive greedy people are seduced by the smell of money and try to hunt us down...so Mike gets overweight.' she snorted. 'And father gets annoyed in walking him just to shed those pounds. Its bad for dogs to get fat.'

"Walk a dog like THAT?!" the boys shuddered as Mike is so huge it was hard to imagine a tall person walk the damn thing on a leash.

'Its hard for us to trust people.' said Kureha, drawing circles on the rim of her cup. 'Friends? Such thing doesn't exist in our dictionary. Betrayals over money can happen. Trust is hard to earn, but easy to lose. So I will ask you...being Hunters, can I trust you with Killu?' she asked them, fully-aware that she can.

'Hey, we're not THAT scummy!' Leorio sputtered out.

'We'd never use Killua that way.' said Kurapika defensively.

'We got along really well too!' Gon cried as Kureha had seen how real they are.

'Fufu, I see. So, tell me how your exams went, before I give you a task.' said Kureha. 'Before I let you see Killu. He's being spanked for leaving home without permission from father after all. He's the family heir, so he's very precious to us.'

'Spanked? Well to be fair...' said Gon uneasily. 'Even I get whacked with a ruler for breaking dishes once...' he said, shuddering at the memory.

Kureha laughed at that.

'Oh, no no no! Zoldyck-style spanking isn't so cheap!' she playfully gasped out in a lady-like pose. 'Punishment here is also training, see? Endurance Training. Living in this estate is training every day. Even something as simple as playing with toys in our childhood is also training.' Kureha told them. 'My dollhouses, my dolls and my other toys are all weighted.'

'S-so what's a Zoldyck-style spanking?' Kurapika croaked out with a gulp. The others were just as nervous.

'Killu's chained to the walls, deals with 30 million volts of electric torture and getting whipped by second eldest brother Milluki. His job is discipline, you see?' three jaws dropped.

'30 million volts?! A normal person woulda be dead!' Leorio howled in falsetto of horror as Killua's in such torture which is the family's idea of spanking their kids?!

'Not us.' said Kureha, taking out a deadly-grade stunner and shocked herself by jabbing it to her arm with no harm to herself. 'Endurance. Because if you're caught, you'll be tortured for information, see?' she said as they imagined the grim prospects. 'So we are trained since diapers in poison-torture, and torture-endurance starts at age 8. You cannot talk nor a single squeak no matter what for Killu's sake. Still hurts, but you cannot react as that will give enemy more power over you.'

'If people find out you're friends with a Zoldyck, expect this coming for you.' Kureha warned. 'A lot of people are after our bounty. So do not advertise that you're friends with a Zoldyck. While we can shamelessly brag our identities because we're strong and skilled, you guys aren't. Especially Gon-kun who has little to no fighting ability according to Illumi. Still wanna be friends with Killu?'

'We still will.' Gon decided. 'We knew the Killua we've known in the exams and we believe in him!'

'Then being weak, is out of the question here.' said Kureha. 'I will not allow you to see my brother if you are weak. From the computers, all of you are on a tourist visa so you're only here for a month.'

'Well this moron here,' said Leorio, playfully jabbing Gon's head with a finger, 'Insists we shouldn't use our licenses just yet!'

'Fufu, there's logic there, Leorio~ cuz' you guys are weak.' Kureha giggled as the trio sputtered before she went serious. 'Many rookies before you, got too complacent, thinking that having that fancy piece of plastic makes them instantly powerful and influential, using it for first-class services immediately for free wantonly. But it takes one bad day, see?' she pointed out.

'A hunter license's worth is seven generations' worth of luxury for lazy bums. These guys form groups to overpower a Hunter by numbers as one cannot tell if a Hunter is strong, or rookie easy prey. Rookies like yourselves are vulnerable prey to that.' she told them as the boys gulped, having used their cards to get a first class train ride once. 'Then once your license is stolen, greed will come into play, full force. The gang will fight over all that money until one remains to enjoy selling your licenses. So your first duty is to be strong enough to use those licenses which means the same as staying friends with my brother.'

'You guys will train here until you can easily open one gate without having a hard time and Zebro will give me a call if you fulfilled that simple task. Once Gon's arm heals, he is to learn how to fight from the two of you.' Kureha told them. 'That is my mission clearance for you to see Killu as that's also enough time for him to recover from Detention, though you'll have two off-days to go back to town to extend your tourist visa stay. By the way, use your feet to push the gate too to train your legs as one kick from a person who trained here is painful as hell, too.' she grinned nastily. 'And a leg is three times more powerful than arms you know~ so a kick from you after some time here will hurt a lot~'

'Erm...OK.' Kurapika took the advice seriously. He also began telling her how their exams went with the other two pitching in, amusing Kureha at the shenanigans they get into, before leaving.

'...those are Kureha-sama's stipulations boys.' Zebro sighed. 'You must accept. She tested your characters and you pass, otherwise you're food for her farms. But strength is everything here and that's minimum requirement.' he told them. 'Work hard boys.'

'Hai!'

xxx

Silva's Room...

'So they're the real deal.' Silva asked his daughter who told him how her visit to the guardhouse went. She had vetted them and they passed her tough test. And since the Yasuha Incident that led to the horrifying Kasuga Incident, she scoured the estate for more butlers like her who became pig food. And new Butler-wannabes pass through her before joining the academy and subsequent employment after.

'Yup. They passed my character test.' said Kureha. 'Killu's lucky. Their resolve and honesty is so strong to be his friend.' she said, swinging her legs back and forth. 'How many will claim as such for us?' she wondered aloud. 'Money makes the world go round and rules brains. Betrayal over money always happens.'

'It all depends on luck, but I'd rather not gamble on low chances, as family is above everything.' said Silva. 'Killu lucked out, but we'll see how long that lasts. For now we'll keep him in detention until they pass your demands, as well as the butlers' demands. That is my decision.'

'M'kay~ I'll tell Millu.' Kureha got off the guest chair and skipped out Silva's room.

xxx

'Hooo? You estimate two months, huh?' Milluki snorted, downing a whole bottle of coke in his computer room.

'Yup. Daddy's orders.' said Kureha with a grin. 'Since he'll be leaving with those guys soon.'

'Keh. Friends.' Milluki scoffed at the notion with an eyeroll before turning his chair to face his massive, many-monitors supercomputer. 'We'll see how long that lasts before he goes home!' he snarked, before going back to trading on stocks. In the Zoldyck Household, you can do anything you want as long as you earn money, contribute to the household and not cause trouble. So everyone here has jobs to bring money in. Otherwise, how are they gonna pay off salaries of the servants and house maintenance?

xxx

Kureha sighed. Her new family is so skeptical when she knew the value of friendship all too well, remembering the friends she made in her old life, and missed them.

She felt very lonely. It was good she's no longer a Sky or she'll feel their loss even more. Flames don't exist in this world. Nen does, but she dare not recreate flames through Nen or she'll feel worse. Sure, having a good family curbed her feelings somewhat and having two kids to dote on and a somewhat-good-family at home.

Kikyo's nuts, but she was an improvement over Nana who changed when she became a dame.

Silva? Enough said.

She has no idea of her other grandparents. The closest she can get was Timoteo and even then, Famiglia over Family as Xanxus found out by being a popsicle for a few years. And her term as a Donna comprised of being her advisor but in reality, he was shadow leader to her puppet. Retirement, her ass.

At her room, Kalluto was there in a nightgown, sleeping. Tired from a day's training. Youngest at ten, skills and combat training ends at eleven. The rest of their lives, training for strength and pinnacle being opening that thrice-damned seventh gate!

She changed into her sleepwear, and went to sleep.

xxx

Nanika never sleeps when its her shift. Alluka was by day, her at night. Their body never sleeps though it never gets tired...unless she heals, that is.

Their job is to take over Kureha's farms in the estate when she's out as an assassin.

People are wary of her here except for Killua and Kureha. Kureha was like Nanika's mommy than a sister but she was a sad mommy. Alluka, Nanika and Kalluto remind her of Fuuta, I-Pin and Lambo. Only, they weren't obnoxious like Lambo was, but thrived in doting attention.

Alluka and Nanika knows of her old life, and despite how she suffered, she misses her friends. She sacrificed her own life to free them from the Mafia or affiliating with her allied families if they can't leave the Mafia. Well, she also chose death than be a castigated puppet out of disgust, and she was happy here.

But she still misses her friends.

Nanika has no godly powers like that. Fulfill wishes yes, but not even she is a god to pull THAT off to make mommy happy. So all mommy can do, is find new friends.

Unlike the skeptical Zoldycks, Kureha knows the value of true friendship. The issue being 'how to sort diamonds from fake glass' sort of analogy.

She had heard of the guests and took to watching them. They're Killua's friends. If they passed mommy's scrutiny, they must be for real! Sooo she knows their names by overhearing, but no asking them stuff and granting their wishes. Her power is a secret, abuse potential feared. Kureha warned them of Illumi if he figures out Killua and Kureha's privileges Nanika allowed them because they truly cared for her and feared exploitation, fully-aware of Illumi's nen. They are also aware of that needle Killua didn't know he has, but they can't remove it or Illumi will just put another in anyway.

And he's also interested in Nanika's power. Soooo noooope.

Nanika sighed.

At least Killua's OK with these guys.