Kowalski's Blind Date (or A Scientific Prequel)

"Oh come onnnn, Kowalski, cheer up! Doris isn't the only fish in the sea, you know, " Marlene chirped, gently grabbing the tall penguin by his shoulders and giving him a comforting squeeze.

Kowalski sighed, his chin resting on the table with his beak only inches away from a half-eaten bowl of chocolate ice cream. "Dolphins aren't fish, Marlene. They're mammals...Highly attractive sea mammals."

"That's not what I…" The otter huffed and reconsidered her strategy. "What I'm saying is that there are other animals out there that might be interested in you, Kowalski! You just have to get out there and give it a try!"

"I think I'm done with the dating game, Marlene. I'm just destined to be single."

Marlene sighed and patted his back. "Well...There's nothing wrong with being single, but if you're wanting to be in a relationship, then I think you can find someone."

Kowalski sat up and took a bite out of the ice cream. "I don't know…"

"Kowalski. How many relationships have you actually even had?"

"Does Doris count?"

"...Sure, we'll count your one date with Doris. How many relationships including that?"

"Uhhh, 2? There was Eva and then Doris."

Marlene looked at him. "And how long was your relationship with Eva?"

Kowalski scratched his head. "It was long-distance...Maybe about two months?"

"Oh, so you're a total dating rookie. Okay, I can work with that." She smiled and sat beside him. "First things first though—" She slid the bowl away from him. "The depression ice cream has to go."

"But— Nooooo." He leaned his head back on the table.

Marlene sighed and shook her head. "Okay, now let's talk about what you like. What's your type? And no, you can't just say Doris...Because you know she's not really your type."

For a long moment he is silent before sighing and looking at her. "In general, I like dolphins...I also like snowy feathers and fur...Intellectuals, but I'm a little pickier about them. Like...I'm not attracted to the Blue Hen. She's a genius but…"

"Yeah I get what you mean. They've got to have a nice personality with the brain."

"Yeah, exactly!" He sat up and smiled slightly.

Marlene tapped her paw against her mouth as she thought. "How do you feel about blind dates?"

"...Nervous, but I trust your judgement."

"Great. Then lemme go think on this while you spiff yourself up a bit, okay?" She stood up and patted his back one more time as she left.

Kowalski nodded, watching her go, and reaching forward and sliding his bowl of ice cream back towards him the moment she had left the room.

A few days later Kowalski found himself waiting with a picnic basket in the park. He fiddled with the handle and kept straightening his feathers as he waited, his internal anxiety building itself into a knot in his throat. Marlene had only told him to prep a light picnic for the park, nothing more. He knew absolutely nothing about what he had let himself get signed up for and he already was feeling the regret.

Did Marlene tell them they were meeting with him? What if they stood him up? Oh cod this was a horrible idea, why did he agree to this?

"Kowalski?"

Kowalski jumped and looked up to see Mother Duck. "Oh, hey!" He cleared his throat. "Sorry, got lost in thought. Is there something I can help you with?"

The duck smiled at him gently. "Actually...I think we're each other's blind dates?"

"...O h." He smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "My bad, um." He fiddled with the basket handle again before he looked at it. "Oh! I guess I need to uh picnic...Right." He started looking around for a spot to set it up.

"I think you picked a nice spot already." She chuckled. "Would you like some help setting it up?"

Kowalski shook his head as he already was laying down the picnic blanket and setting it up. "No, No, I've got this—" He paused and looked up at her with wide eyes. "I don't think I've ever caught your name."

"It's Tara." She smiled and sat on the blanket. "And you're...Kowalski, right?"

"Yes, I'm that one." He smoothed his feathers again. "I'm guessing the ducklings are with Private?"

Tara nodded and helped him with getting the fish sandwiches on the plates. "Yes, he really is an excellent babysitter."

"Yeah...He's turned out pretty good. I'm quite proud of how he's developed." He smiled and slid one of the plates closer to her. "Skipper, Rico, and I mostly raised him ourselves since he hatched...There were a few years when we were divided, but...I think he mainly acquired an accent from that." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"That's sweet. I had no idea...After how wound up Eggy was after being in your team's care…"

"Heh yeah...It's safe to say, we were a little rusty." He cleared his throat, looking away. "That was really our bad." He picked up his sandwich and took a bite and thought for a moment. He looked at her. "Tara—"

She looked up at him. "Yes?"

"This is...Weird, right? Or is it just me?"

The duck sighed in relief and smiled. "I was thinking the same actually...I'm sorry, Kowalski, you seem like a nice guy, but…"

"But being on a date with one of your ducklings' babysitters is weird."

"Yeah…"

Kowalski nodded and cleared his throat. "Then let's not consider this a date. This is just an outing between...Two friends?" He smiled sheepishly.

Tara chuckled and nodded as well. "I like that. Friends sounds like a lovely alternative...No offense."

"Oh none taken." He waved her off. "I'm sorry this won't work for more than that, but I agree, I think that's the best. Your ducklings are adorable, but I think that would be really weird for them as well."

"It would be! Oh my goodness, I hadn't even thought that far yet—"

Kowalski smiled sheepishly. "Thank you for having lunch with me anyway, Ms. Duck."

"I don't have to leave yet."

"Oh."

Tara chuckled and shook her head. "So you're having a bit of relationship troubles?"

The penguin looked away and nodded with a sigh. "Yeah...I finally was able to go on a date with the girl of my dreams, just to discover she had been right all along, all of these years...We really weren't a match. She had been one of my closest friends, and I blew it, thinking maybe she and I could be something more." He rubbed his flippers over his face with a groan. "For someone so smart, I was such an idiot."

"Love is...Hard." She grimaced and gently patted his back. "Once those rose colored glasses go up, it's hard to see the truth."

"Yeah…." He sighed and shook his head. "The more I think about it, the more I want to throw in my cards for the whole dating game and just turn my attention fully on my work."

The duck looked at him in silence for a moment as she pondered his words. "Would that make you happy?"

"...Probably not."

"Well, what are you looking for in a relationship?"

"I...I don't...I've never…"

She gently stroked his back. "Consider it now then. What are you looking for?"

Kowalski glanced at her before looking in front of himself and furrowing his brows as he thought. After a long moment he nodded to himself and smoothed down his feathers. "Companionship. I want someone who will be my partner and my friend, that I can trust and won't leave me." He started pulling on the feathers of his flipper and swallowed. "I want someone I can be myself with and someone who feels like they can be themselves with me….And maybe even be a parent alongside me one day." He took a deep breath and looked down at the feather he now held in his flipper and roughly rubbed the spot he plucked it from.

Tara gently took his flipper and moved it to his side with a soft smile. "Well, now that you know what you really want, you know what to look for. To me, it sounds like you need to find someone with similar interests as yourself."

"Yeah…" He sighed and looked away. "I'm afraid that's easier said than done."

"You're a smart guy, Kowalski. I'm sure you'll figure it out." She patted his flipper as she stood up. "Thank you for our lunch. I had a nice time. Good luck with your date search."

He looked over at her and nodded with a small smile. "Thank you. Have a nice day, Tara."

Kowalski turned off the sink water as he shook off a plate and wiped it over with a towel, sitting it aside on a rack to finish drying. He glanced over his shoulder as he heard the door open and shut.

"So….How'd it go?"

The penguin dried his flippers before turning and looking at the otter with a long sigh. "There was no chemistry. It was...Awkward."

"Oh." Marlene frowned. "I had really thought it would work."

"We both felt that us being friends was the best course of action...But don't feel bad. Tara and I had a delightful chat. It honestly really helped me put things into a new perspective." He leaned back against the counter and crossed his flippers.

"Oh? Are you going to share that, or?"

Kowalski smiled and waddled towards the lab. "Follow me, I'll show you."

Marlene nodded and walked inside after him, glancing around his lab as she followed him over to a white board.

"Okay, remember that time I set you on a blind date with Fred?" he asked, starting to draw on the board.

"Yep. You were testing an invention thingy."

Kowalski nodded, drawing a simple version of his Love-u-Lator invention. "Exactly! And it was an utter failure."

"Yes…?"

He wrote some numbers on the board. "I'm going to try it again. This time, I'm going to take a few extra measures into consideration."

"Like what?"

"Genetics alone is...I think a poor indicator of romance, because I think it would greatly limit the amount of relationships that could be interspecies. For example, providing only bird options for me. However, if I add in factors such as common interests, it may provide a more possible match extended beyond that."

"And how exactly are you going to do that?" She raised a brow.

Kowalski popped the cap back on his marker and looked at her. "I have no idea...But I will figure it out! It may take some time, but I think it's my best chance, Marlene. I mean, what better way for me, a scientist, to find romance than through use of science?!"

"...I mean, just going out and socializing for more than thirty minutes might be a start."

Kowalski waved her off. "Maybe, but I like this idea better. It involves less talking to strangers. One stranger is preferable to a bazillion."

Marlene rolled her eyes but smiled. "Well at least you're being productive and not in a depressed slump. I'll call this a win even though my blind date idea didn't really work."

"It failed almost as bad as my first attempt at the Love-u-Lator, but I did appreciate your attempt! Thank you for trying." He began to shuffle her towards the door. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with some math."