Chapter 5

Nathan laid in his bed staring at the ceiling. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't fall asleep. He had been tossing and turning for what had seemed an eternity. He lazily rolled over and looked at the clock and then groaned out loud. It was only 11:30. It felt a lot later than that. He rubbed his hands to his face and could feel the day's worth of stubble scratching against his fingers. He listened to the rhythmic song of the crickets being carried by the cool night breeze through his bedroom window and closed his eyes once more in an attempt to find rest, but it was no use, sleep was not coming to him. He could not get his mind off of Elizabeth and how in that one moment when she had touched his face to push his hair back he lost all control of his breathing and could barely move. He had seen something in her eyes that had given him a spark of hope and joy, an electric current in that simple touch that had shocked his body into stillness and had left him speechless.

Sighing heavily he swung his long legs over the side of the bed and sat up. The room felt suddenly stuffy and he needed fresh air. Placing his hands on the side of the bed he propelled himself up and grabbed his pants, sliding them on and then pulling the suspenders up over his thermals, not bothering with his shirt. He grabbed his boots and after checking on Allie he padded down the stairs to slip them on before grabbing his brown wool coat and walking out the front door toward the pond.

The full moon that night hung high in the sky and had cast a long bright shadow of the ripples in the pond that moved outward in small circles, making it almost glow in an ethereal light. It was a stunning sight. The wind blew a lazy pattern through the tall grass, moving the blades around in a tight swirling motion and adding a slight chill to the night air. He pulled his coat closer around his thin, but muscular frame and buttoned it up.

He approached the dock on the pond and walked out onto it, grabbing a few rocks, he side-armed them into the pond and watched as they skipped across the water, the first one bouncing twice before the pond swallowed it up. The second one went slightly further and the third one happily skipped along five times before succumbing to the same fate as the first and second one's had.

Was it really that long ago that he had approached Elizabeth and Little Jack in this very spot? It seemed like a different lifetime, but reality was it had only been a few months. So much had happened in those short few months. He had almost let his jealousy over Lucas take Elizabeth away from him completely and ruin any and all chances he may have had with her. He still wasn't completely sure how it happened that her heart had decided on him, but the thought of it both thrilled him and scared him at the same time. It had been just him and Allie for so long and just when he had found contentment in that, he was transferred to Hope Valley, not knowing that his world would be completely turned upside down by the widow of the former Mountie in the region, one who's life had been turned into a legend.

He had known that there was something special about her from the first moment he had met her. He had never expected to see her show up to his office, thinking instead that she would probably prefer to stay away from him because he was her late husband's replacement and he knew that might be a difficult thing for her to handle, but to his surprise she had been one of the first to graciously welcome him to Hope Valley. As the weeks went by and she had helped with getting Allie settled in and making friends, he had found himself starting to think about her more often and wanting to be in her presence more and more. He had come to realize that not only was she a great teacher, but that she was also quite beautiful and had a fantastic heart on the inside. It was that heart that he was attracted to the most.

He closed his eyes and he could picture in his mind the first time he had seen her standing on this dock with Little Jack. She had looked like she had been deep in thought over something and then he spotted the book and had questioned her about it. He still wasn't quite sure where his boldness had come from that day. Most days he had a difficult time just putting two words together when it came to Elizabeth, but they just seemed to spill out of him that day. He had asked her that same question that she had asked him mere hours ago, What's in your heart.

He opened his eyes and mulled the question over in his brain. He started kicking the pebbles around on the dock watching them gently plopping into the water as he contemplated that question in his head. He just wanted to protect her, protect her from being hurt again by something that he didn't necessarily have control over. Last weeks incident had proven how life could be snuffed away from you in a heartbeat, but then he remembered the storm. Lee wasn't a Mountie and yet he almost died just the same so was that really what the issue was here?

No, he surmised, it ran deeper than that. There was an element of fear and vulnerability as well, which kept him tongue tied around her and unable to tell her how he really felt for fear that she would reject him. If things didn't workout between them, it would be more than just his broken-heart to deal with. There was Allie to consider too and he didn't want to upset her either, but what he feared the most was that he didn't even know how to court a woman. He had never had the time for it before, his duties and taking care of Allie had always been his main focus and he knew he couldn't wow and impress her the same way that Lucas did.

Yet she seemed to like his small gestures of apples and wooden plaques. The plaque, he thought back to that plaque and the quote on it, "Always do what you are afraid to do." It was a great quote, a quote of courage and strength. He had spent hours carving it, sanding it down, cutting the letters out, and polishing it and smoothing it out. He had taken his time with it because he had wanted it done right. He wanted it to be special for her and she had told him how much she liked Emerson so the quote seemed fitting.

Here he was though being brought back to that quote. He took a deep breath and let it out. What was he afraid of? Failing, he was afraid he would fail her, afraid that he would not measure up, and afraid that he would hurt her by not coming home to her and leave her to grieve again for a second time, but life was not guaranteed for any of them and Elizabeth had told him that it was worth the risk and that she was willing to take it. If she was willing to take it and do what she was afraid to do then maybe it was time for him to step up as well. He kicked the last pebble that was on the dock into the water and then turned to walk home. He had been outside by the pond for a good twenty minutes and he didn't want to leave Allie alone for much longer.

As he began his walk past the houses he looked up to see the silhouette of a person sitting on the steps in front of Elizabeth's house. As he drew closer he could see that it was Elizabeth and his breath caught in his throat as he saw how the moon reflected off of her long brown hair leaving it to glow in the darkness of the night. She was an angel and she took his breath away. He stood there admiring her for longer than he should have before finally approaching her.

"Elizabeth," he questioned. She looked up at him in surprise upon hearing his voice, "What are you doing out here so late at night? Is everything ok?"

"Nathan…uh yeah, I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep. What are you doing out so late?" she drew in a deep breath as he moved to sit next to her on the steps.

He raised his eyebrows and then turned his head to look at her, "I couldn't sleep either and then I heard the crickets calling and saw the full moon and decided to go for a short walk."

They sat in silence for a short time, listening to the cicadas and the frogs battle it out for sound dominance and just staring at the full bright moon, their breathing syncing with one another. Nathan finally spoke first, "Elizabeth, I've been doing some thinking and I have come to the conclusion that you are right. I need to stop thinking so much and do what the quote says on the plaque I gave to you. I need to step out of my fear and take a risk and do what I'm afraid to do."

Her breathing became slower with his every word and she could feel her head spinning, "What do you mean, exactly?"

"You asked me what's in my heart Elizabeth, well," he took a long drawn out breath and then looked her straight in the eyes, "it's you and it's always been you since the day I met you," he reached over and tenderly gathered her hand into his, "I want this with you, Elizabeth. I want to risk us." He swallowed hard, "I think you are worth the risk and I'm tired of trying to hide and push down those feelings I have for you because of fear. You are special to me."

She searched his eyes and in that moment she could see the depths of his words and knew that his heart was ready. "Nathan, I want that too and I don't want to waste anymore time. Life is too short and I know that all too well."

For the first time in over a week he smiled at her and he watched as her eyes danced with excitement and a slow smile spread across her face as well. He couldn't help himself, his heart was leaping in his chest at how much lighter it felt. "I should probably be going now. I left Allie alone in the house and it's almost after midnight." The smile was still plastered to his face and wasn't sure if he could contain it if he tried. He suddenly felt completely overjoyed.

She continued to smile back at him, "Yes, I should probably go back inside and try to sleep. Jack likes to wake early."

They stood up still holding hands, "Elizabeth would you…..what I mean is….Allie and I are going fishing tomorrow. Would you and Little Jack like to join us? We could take a picknick lunch and make a day of it."

There was no hesitation in her voice this time, "Yes, we would love that." He reached up with the hand not holding hers and gently brushed the side of her cheek with the back of his fingers. The light touch sent chills down Elizabeth's spine and she gave a little shiver as a result of it.

Nathan felt her shake, "You're cold, you should go inside and I need to get back to Allie. He released her hand started to back away slowly, "Goodnight Elizabeth, I'll see you in the morning."

He waved one last time at her and flashed her his sideways grin before turning to walk home, but he heard her call out to him, "Goodnight Nathan." He turned back nodded with his grin that melted her on the inside and then continued on. She watched him until he disappeared into the darkness and she could see him no longer and then went inside the house and softly shut the door behind her.

TBC- Like always reviews gratefully accepted. Thanks for reading.