Harbinger

by tigerowl

Naruto's friendship with his teammates Gaara and Haku is put to the test as they prepare to deal with the threat of the Akatsuki. The secrets Jiraiya has kept come to a head, and Naruto must shoulder the responsibility of protecting much more than the Leaf Village. Continuation of Forlorn. AU NaruHina, GaaSaku, NejiTen, ObiRin, OCs *Taoism, Self-Indulgent World Building, longfic

56. Anew

Note: Hello and thank you for stopping by, my reading squires.

Chapter 56: Anew

Chapter Soundtrack: "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles

Hiking back through the Nara clan's woodland preserve, two sika bucks stared at Shikamaru from their hiding spots in the tall autumn grass, the kusamomiji copper, the trees a sea of red.

He smiled slightly at their guardedness. Their does were probably nearby. Before long, he was out of the forest and winding down the path into the village proper. Asuma had asked if he could join him for lunch after his surveillance shift ended. It had been too long since he last had any quality time with his Sensei.

Maybe if they'd chosen a different day Chouji and Ino wouldn't have been forced to miss out, since many of their responsibilities had multiplied in recent months. Since Chouji wouldn't be present, and therefore barbecue would not be a must, Asuma had asked to meet at a café he'd grown partial to. Shikamaru depended on his half-honed sense of direction and a guess to find the place near the heart of the village.

About five blocks up, Asuma eventually fell into step beside him, "Hey, I wasn't sure if you'd make it."

"My survey only took a few hours."

"Nah, I mean you don't usually come along this stretch looking for places to eat. It's too populated and noisy." Asuma teased.

A playful look on his face, "Tch. I know where I'm going."

"Yeah, yeah. I just left the Standby Station so you have perfect timing—" As Asuma spoke those words, Shikamaru automatically looked across the street to the Jounin Standby Station, his brain merely connecting the dots, and his eyes went a little wide when he saw Sato exiting the front of the building.

The stone-faced expression on the young Hatake's face, his downcast shoulders and body language— it took Shikamaru's good mood down a few notches.

"What're you-? Oh." Asuma followed his student's gaze.

They continued their trek to the café, going in silence for a full block before Shikamaru finally said, "It's hard to watch."

"Sato? Yeah. Try standing in a committee meeting with him while he's routinely harassed."

"That…that shouldn't have happened." Shikamaru admitted haltingly, regarding the rumors flying around, "I'm just as guilty as everyone else. Ino, Chouji, Sakura, Kiba, and everyone who's shunned him. It's got to end."

Asuma gave Shikamaru a dose of disapproving side-eye, "Just sayin'…Neji's team never did that, and neither did Sato's teammates."

"I know." Shikamaru would not deny it, "Maybe they're the only reason he gets moving every day. I don't know how I'd do it, if I were him."

At the entrance of the café a hostess directed them to a small booth to be seated, and Shikamaru continued his commentary, "He looks so damn sad. He's not supposed to be that way. Fun, vivacious, insufferably annoying— that's Sato." Shikamaru gestured with a hand flick, "Now he's more antisocial than Kakashi."

Leaning back to stretch, Asuma assessed, "That might actually be an accurate statement. Kakashi's had a rough time lately, but he's happier than he's ever been in quite a while. Opposite effects on him and his nephew, it seems like."

They placed orders for beverages and lunch specials, and all the while Asuma was rather laid back, watching Shikamaru fret about something yet unspoken, grumbling to himself as he watched pedestrians outside from the booth's window. He had seen the pain in someone he had called a friend and could now feel that pain, acutely, as if it were his own. Unfortunately, he'd contributed to Sato's ostracism.

"Shikamaru," Asuma called the young man back from his thoughts, "Do you know how the White Fang died?"

"The White Fang…Hatake Sakumo." Shikamaru had heard vague details about the affair, but gave his teacher his attention since he did not want to misspeak on the matter.

"Long story short," Asuma fiddled with an unlit cigarette he had pulled from a vest pocket, "Kakashi's dad bailed on a mission objective in order to rescue his teammates. That mission's success was critical, and so the consequences of his failure prevented Hidden Leaf from getting the leverage it needed in the war. His own teammates rejected him, even after he'd saved their lives. His friends and many others in Konoha wouldn't so much as spare him a glance, after that…" Asuma snapped the cigarette in two, frustrated, "Sometimes we're faced with an impossible choice. We have to choose. The man didn't even get a thank-you, or any kind of acknowledgement for how fucking incredible he was on every prior mission he'd overseen. He was a legend, and they reduced him to nothing overnight."

Shikamaru shut his eyes and took a breath, uncomfortable with the parallels.

"He must've thought…what with Kakashi excelling as a shinobi, and his eldest daughter looking out for her brother…that death was a reasonable escape. His wife had also died before her time, so that might've motivated him too. But above all, the shame marred every aspect of his life. So he took it. People in this village are ruthless. Don't get me wrong, I'd defend Konoha until my last, but…" Asuma sighed, "We are stuck in this mindset. If you lose all your face, you cease to exist. Doesn't matter what you got right up until that single moment you did something wrong. I really hate that."

Shikamaru opened himself up a bit more, letting the anxiety and hopeless feelings from the story educate him, "Sensei, I know you feel that way. I didn't…before. Totally…just blew Sato off."

"It was easy, right?" Asuma supposed. Their drinks arrived and Asuma stuck his straw through the beverage lid a bit violently, to relieve some stress.

Lolling his head in irritation, Shikamaru groused, "Yeah, it was. And it wasn't so easy to make a call, okay? Tama's our friend too. It's tricky to stay impartial and not pick a side."

"Right. But no one had to open their mouth to actively make things worse."

"Ino and I went around telling people to shut up about it. For the most part, that worked. Couldn't go back in time and tell her not to lose her mind all over town once she found out, so I did what I could." Shikamaru explained, "It was a screw-up. I don't expect you to go easy on us or excuse what we did…but don't think I want him to suffer. I want Sato to get better."

"Huh." Asuma laughed softly, "Who knows if that'll ever happen. He's making a better go of it than his grandfather, at least. Still hanging in there, somehow."

Shikamaru sipped his tea, nodded thanks to the server that put a lunch tray in front of him, and then his eyes scanned the entrance of the café. There, he spied Maito Tama walking in with a man about her age; he had dark, curly hair, a friendly face, wore a Chunin vest…what the-?

He managed not to spurt his mouthful of tea everywhere, but some of it dribbled down his chin and it grossed his teacher out. Shikamaru blotted his face and directed Asuma's attention with subtle hand gestures: Look that way! Over there!

Discreetly, Asuma took a peek to see what the hubbub was about. He faced front again, perplexed, and then stole a second, more obvious look.

"Who is that?" Shikamaru asked in a whisper, "With her?"

"Oh shit." Asuma said.

"Oh shit what?" Shikamaru echoed.

"That's Banri." Asuma clarified in a low voice, "Sarutobi Banri. He's in the Sealing Corps."

"Oh." Shikamaru enunciated, "Shit."

Stressed out, Asuma took the two broken halves of the cigarette he'd left on the table and perched them on his lip, pretending he could take a cleansing drag.

Shikamaru plucked them away in annoyance, "Stop. Don't even tempt yourself, you've been doing really well."

"This is not good, Shika. Not good. One of my own kinsmen, making a move…"

"Can't you do something?"

"No."

On the far side of the café, Banri and his date were seated and for all intents and purposes had what appeared to be a normal, sociable lunch. Meanwhile, Asuma and Shikamaru tried to downplay their nosy idiocy as they ate their own meal.

It was after they split the bill and parted ways (Asuma had to check in with his brother) that Shikamaru tried to get his swirling brain under control as he continued to walk uptown. Wow, he never thought he'd see the day Maito Tama decided to play the field. Apparently she had refined taste in men. It was surreal. Seeing things he never expected to change actually change, at the snap of his fingers. There was no brake pedal in life. They careened on and on.

He stopped in a convenience store to buy some junk, 'It's not my business anyway. I was just surprised. Things have been the same for so long— it's just too damn weird.' His conscience was inflamed. Maybe he had nothing to do with the breakup between his friends, but had he offered a supportive hand? A listening ear? Had he safeguarded the privacy of either party? Not even close. Shikamaru groaned, marching through the snack aisle, 'I'm not even the kind of friend I'd want to have.'

And how the devil did it turn out that Neji's team, which used to be a functional circus on a good day, maybe a year or two ago, prove to be the most mature and not instigate any further hardship when the Maito/Hatake rift began? Shikamaru would sometimes think to himself that Tenten and Neji's relationship was a series of flukes that had not yet backfired on them. After all that shit, and the whispers, and the lack of progress, suddenly it was overcome and they had each other and then, what? They were mature adults? 'That the rest of us can consult with them, like they have their acts together?' He still couldn't buy it. 'I'm not comparing myself to them. No way.' Ah, but he was, and he felt lousy.

He paid the shopkeeper and then proceeded uptown toward the Administrative Building, following his hunch. If Shikamaru could get nothing else right today, he resolved that there was one small thing he could do.

At a light jog, Shikamaru entered the building and paused in the lobby to look around. Headed down the east wing, he spotted the back of Sato's silver head. He resumed his jog until he caught up with the young man, "Hey!"

Initially, it did not even occur to Sato that the address might be directed at him. He kept walking until Shikamaru spoke his name, then he stopped. Dumbfounded, Sato turned around and tried not to let apprehension blare off him. Shikamaru stood there with his hands in his pockets, his head canted in a way that read non-threatening, though Sato wasn't sure of how to read anyone anymore since his senses were always screaming.

"I'm sorry."

"Hm-uhh?" To Sato, this could have been part of a hallucination. Sometimes he got loopy after not eating for long stretches.

"I'm an asshole. I know I am." Shikamaru went on, "But…I can learn. And move on. We all have to."

"-uh, Shikamaru, I don't-?" Sato still couldn't apply this apology to his exile; it was too deeply rooted in his psyche.

"I wouldn't let you talk to us, or to me, when you came to us. That's what I'm sorry about." He explained it clearly, "You were in a world of shit and you still are, I think. I am done with being on the sidelines like some stooge in the crowd, going along with how people treat you." Shikamaru watched the expression on Sato's face change into something more human as the words registered, "I don't want you to keep thinking you can't come to me if you need to talk. You can. I'm telling you that you can. I didn't prove myself as a friend before."

Sato shook his head, smiling ruefully, "It's…okay. Besides, haven't I always annoyed you?"

"You always have. Though to be honest I got a kick out of it."

There, just for a brief second, was a flicker of light that was the Sato that everyone used to know, smiling appreciatively, "Well good! Thank you, I…I can't stay to chat now. I'd like to, but I have a skills assessment." He pointed to an office a few doors down, "But maybe later, if that's cool?"

Shikamaru withdrew his hand from his pocket, offering a box of pocky to Sato, "Whenever is fine."

Sato closed his hand around the box, smiling a tiny, heartened smile, "Thanks, Shika." He ventured on with his once-favorite snack, and was compelled to even open it and chow down.

When he'd gone, Shikamaru finally reversed course out of the building, feeling a bit better about himself finally. He'd dusted off his conscience. Taken some initiative. He probably wasn't going to tell anyone about this extension of friendship, since opinions were still so divided, but Shikamaru would only act how he saw fit. Not according to how others howled and heeled.

He hadn't really needed Asuma's lecture to arrive at this decision either. He planned to do it no matter what. His Sensei had only underscored what Shikamaru had already realized— that he had to grow up.

He moved downtown with the foot traffic of the village, enjoying the bright autumn day and cool air. Shikamaru arrived at the Yamanaka Flower shop after a pleasant walk and entered, intending to pay Ino a visit on her management shift. Who he found, seated on a stool in front of an easel off to the side of the showroom, was Sai.

The still life of flowers consumed Sai's attention, and he didn't spare a look to see who had walked into the shop. He kept painting heedlessly.

Maybe the lack of acknowledgment was for the best. It was an itchy, slow-boil of anger rising in him as opposed to an explosion, since, Shikamaru reasoned, he didn't truly know what this was about. But he did know that Sai was a pest, and weird, and he just kept turning up. He moved to the back room of the shop and discovered Ino there, apron on and hair tied up, piled on top of her head as she mixed fertilizers in separate small pots.

Sans a greeting, Shikamaru gruffed, "What is he doing here?"

"He is a thorn in my side." Ino hissed at the valid question, "Sai comes here every day."

"Every day?" Shikamaru was further perturbed.

Ino bent her hands to rest her forehead on the back on her wrists, exhausted, but unwilling to get soil on her face, "ERG. Shikamaru, he found out that I work here, sometime just this week. I guess. So he checks to see if I'm around! And if I'm covering a shift and he finds me? He'll buy a flower from the front display and then give it to me." She shook her gloved fists, "He's a complete idiot!"

"Then tell him off."

"I did. In no uncertain terms, I said: Please piss off and go away. Didn't do any good when he came back for my Dad's shift, and they got to talking, and then my dumbass Dad commissioned some flower paintings that we can hang in the shop and possibly sell to patrons." She thrashed her head, "Come on, Inoichi! Head of the Intel Corps my foot!"

From all this Shikamaru gathered, "So, Sai likes you?"

Ino was flustered, "No he doesn't! He's socially inept. He's a boomerang that can't take a hint."

He could look into her and see past the words. See that maybe the attention was not 100 percent unwanted.

"Hey, don't give me that look." Ino knew it too well, "He won't address me by name, says very weird shit in an effort to get to know me, and barely retains anything I say. I'm thinking of finding this Tenzo friend of his and demanding an intercession."

"Ino, if you were really so determined to get him out of here, he'd be ass-up in the middle of the street by now, beaten." Shikamaru imagined, "Am I wrong?"

"…why are you trying to pin this on me?" Hurt flashed in her eyes, and shit— he felt bad. But it was too late to backpedal and apologize for his insecure comment, because Ino told him, "I'm…fuh. Worn out. Just go. I'm trying to work."

"Ino, I—"

"I'll see you later, alright?" The weary smile faded from her face as she hefted a large sack of soil, and relocated it to a shelf.

This was new. This felt horrible. Shikamaru retreated from the work room and back through the gallery, where he was inclined to communicate with the nuisance, "Sai."

"Oh!" Sai looked around the canvas at him, "Pineapple."

"That's Pineapple-san, to you." He was rolling with it, "Don't bother her."

"Bother who?" Judging by that blank look, maybe he really didn't get it. But then Sai doozied a guess, "Miss Lovely?"

Oh. Had fire just replaced blood in his veins? Sure felt like it.

"Her name is Ino. Yamanaka Ino. Anchor of my team and the pride of her clan." Shikamaru corrected him, "And she's mine."

"Oh." Sai said.

The door chimed behind Shikamaru, and he wrestled with the awful feeling in the pit of his stomach.

---

More than two hours later, Tsunade's eyebrows danced in confused, delighted astonishment when she beheld a white rabbit hop through the open door of her office. The Hokage paused in the middle of tapping a stack of reports into order, watching the creature cross the floor, round her desk, and stop by her feet. Ton-Ton rose from her cushion to approach the rabbit, meet her snoot with it, noses wiggling, and then give it a pass grade. The pig settled down to nap again, and Tsunade picked the rabbit up.

"Ton-Ton had no problem with you. What are you doing here? What's-?" She fiddled with the bandana fastened around the rabbit, beneath which a scroll had been hidden, "Oh, so you're a messenger? How unconventional." Tsunade took the scroll and set the rabbit down.

She unwound the parchment to find a message in slanting script on the left, written in haste.

Tsunade-sama, please summon the tool stored within. You will find the scroll for Chōten in here, retrieved before Dintei Bi could secure it.

Her heart nearly twirled her chest. Namba had managed her request! 'Bless him, I expected him to decline! I suppose Jiraiya also reached out to him.' Tsunade eyed the rabbit that was inquisitive about her sleeping pet pig, 'A tad unusual for Namba to communicate through a rabbit, but he's always discreet…' Tapping parchment and holding a hand sign, Tsunade procured the old tool summoning scroll for the Tao Weapon called Chōten.

"There's only one way for me to be sure this is genuine…" She muttered, examining the Hanzi characters and old contractor names within the scroll. They were not something she could authenticate by sight. She would need Tenten to summon from it to prove what it was.

"Shishou!" Sakura's voice snapped her out of it, and Tsunade blinked at her student as she hurried into the office. "There was a rabbit running out of here—"

"Yes, yes, just a messenger delivering something to me." Tsunade assured her, "Were you on call this morning, Sakura?"

"I was on call…and then I took some time to speak to the hospital administrator."

Brow arching, Tsunade asked, "What for?"

"I had some questions about founding health clinics."

"Ah." Tsunade set down Chōten's scroll and leaned back in her chair, "Have you given some thought to what can be improved here, Sakura? Health organizations now are much better than what they used to be."

"I have no doubt about that, but accessibility and range of treatment is a bit…" She tossed her head and searched for a word, "Not as care-oriented as I once thought."

"More profit-driven." Tsunade agreed, and her student nodded, so she went on, "It's hard to fight the economic current as it is, young lady. If you want to demand meaningful changes from those who hold all the cards and make health systems a reality, you're in for quite the fight."

"I know, Shishou."

"I was never much of an advocate so much as an expert in caregiving. If you're going to be both…" Tsunade smiled, "You'll have surpassed me."

"I never-!"

"I want you to." She placated her student, "Carry out your ideas, Sakura. There's so much more that I can't teach you, and you've sponged up nearly everything I have to give. Since there is little left for me to impart, I'll be turning you over to Kakashi full-time for missions very soon. Retain what schedules you can handle at the hospital, but don't burden yourself." Tsunade glanced down at a desk calendar and flipped between the end of one month and the next, sighing, "There'll be no rest for me either, once they get back. They're a bit overdue."

In response to the curious look on Sakura's face, wondering Who? Tsunade explained, "Naruto will be here soon. And Haku, if Gaara is willing to part with him. Though he's been exceptionally pushy about that. If he wants to make Haku a Sand ninja, I wish he'd outright tell me about his intentions…hmf! Those boys stretch my patience thinking it's limitless…"

"You'll just have to test their patience when they come home then, now won't you?" Sakura teased.

"Ah! I like how you think!" The Hokage tittered over the suggestion.

"I'm just excited to see them again."

"As am I. Come back later this afternoon when you're free, Sakura. We can discuss your idea a bit more then."

With a bubbly nod, Sakura excused herself. Tsunade discovered she too was in buoyant state of mind, shuffling mission requests and memos around, responding to a letter requesting an extension on payments for a loan Hidden Leaf had provided to a construction magnate, within which her Pay up, chump message had the bare minimum of professionalism in it. Shizune came and went with tea and a container of dumplings, off to oversee her own tasks as Tsunade worked and chewed and sipped.

When things went right, it put her in a much better space to be productive. Her flow paused when there was a soft knock on the frame of the doorway, and she bid the visitor Enter before she even glanced up from her work, and Tsunade gasped at the sight.

Sato had the look of what the cat dragged in. To the right of his face was a large bruise, cuts and bumps all over him, hair and clothing very disheveled. Tsunade had to backtrack in her mind to think on what the cause of it could be, if she had assigned him any arduous missions.

"Sorry about how I look, Tsunade-sama." He could see Tsunade's eyes vibrating.

"Oh don't. I just can't remem— ah." She thought of it, "You met with your ANBU evaluator today?"

"Uh. Yeah." Sato confirmed faintly.

"How was the practical? I hear that they've changed some standards to test possible recruits."

"Well…he asked me a few questions in the office downstairs. I answered as best I could, though some of it was strange."

"It's supposed to be. It was Kegon, right?"

"Yeah, Captain Kegon."

"Oof." Tsunade said, now having the full context of Sato's apparent beating.

"After that part I followed him everywhere, did all the stuff he asked…sort of. Tried to keep up, and fight, and do those crazy challenges." Sato recollected, "But it was…" He shrugged tiredly, "I failed and I'm kind of glad."

"Never in my life would I dare take such an evaluation. Ice your face when you take a break, it looks terrible." Tsunade clucked, "With that aside, tell me how your day-to-day is going now." She was interested to hear about how Sato was faring since the rift, and she had heard most of the story from acceptable sources.

Sato went with, "I'm adjusted."

"Go on." Tsunade angled for the details.

He sighed and then expounded, "I keep up with Dr. Iwao's appointments three times a week. I stay on schedule. My team helps. Don't have much of an appetite, but it's better than it was. Also, I had to put up with Kakashi stealing a bunch of stuff from my apartment, but I guess he had to deal with his own end of it, you know? I keep trying to reassure him that I am working and staying alive. He's been giving me half an anti-depressant pill every day." Sato reported, "I think it works? I'm less crappy on it. What I really notice is that…I feel closer to him. I know my uncle cares and I don't want him to worry."

"Good. Has half a pill done anything positive by itself?"

"Hmm. Well, yeah."

Tsunade jotted something down on a stationary pad, ripped the page and then handed it to Sato, "Please give that to Iwao-san for me, for her to approve. It's for a week's supply. If you feel better, you'll be adjusted accordingly."

Frowning, Sato took the script, "I don't really like everyone doing so much for me." Tsunade gave him a piffed face so he went on, "The exclusion isn't as bad as it was. I can handle it and I don't want to be pitied."

"I don't pity you, Sato." Tsunade told him flatly, "I trust you without question."

The sensation of shock, appreciation, and confusion gummed up his throat, rendering Sato speechless.

"Do you think I haven't been through my own share of shitstorms?" Tsunade asked him, highly amused, "I am the biggest coward I know. Look at me. What do you think of me?"

His response came out in a babble, "Y-You're…my leader."

"Even if I've fucked up so many things in my life?" Tsunade pressed.

Sato smiled, composing himself, "Well, I don't know about that…but I would follow you no matter what, Tsunade-sama."

She smiled back, "Feel better."

---

Being thrashed and rejected by an ANBU evaluator had been an unexpected motivation for Sato. He had not thought much about trying out to begin with, but had been inspired after a few conversations with Kakashi. Tenzo had been around at the time and told him, "You can certainly try. We're always scheduling evaluations to find qualified recruits."

"Do you think I'd be any good?" Sato asked him.

Tenzo exchanged a look with Kakashi, and then said, "It doesn't really matter what I think."

"So…no?"

"You're still a bit green yet." Kakashi estimated, "Apply and see what it's like, and don't expect anything. Experiencing it for yourself can tell you more than either of us can."

"Ah." Sato thought that was a very good point. So he gave it a shot and got whooped. At least it had kept his mind off of other things.

The evaluation had been physically grueling, forcing him to travel at break-neck speeds through forest and terrain all through the Land of Fire with Captain Kegon, responding to prompts and traps. Sometimes handicaps were thrown in to increase difficulty and gauge his problem-solving. The "break" they took from the travel and tracking drill was more or less a bludgeoning, and though Sato's swords skills, Genjutsu and spit-shined Taijutsu held him off for a short time, Kegon beat him purple before ordering him to book it for another 20 kilometers.

On the return trip, there had been some sort of obstacle course near a ravine carved by the Naka River, where another gauntlet had been unleashed upon Sato. Then, Kegon beat him senseless a second time before calling it quits. All in one afternoon. At best, Sato figured, he'd demonstrated a few of his best jutsu, but it hadn't been near enough to even scratch a competent score. Or maybe it had. Either way, Kegon had thanked him for his interest and curtly advised him to go home. It wasn't much of a positive indicator.

The takeaway from that experience had broadened his perspective on what Black Ops units required, and moreover, gave him a glimpse of the role they played in the defense of the village. Kakashi and Tenzo could only explain so much to him. When Sato made hair-pin turns and life-or-death leaps that demanded his utmost effort and concentration; a personal meditation of his skills and responses, he'd gotten a clearer grasp of what they couldn't put to words. To be in the ANBU was to truly know oneself as a shinobi.

This felt like a good direction to go in, since he'd been adrift for quite a while. Everyone in Konoha seemed to have an opinion on who he was although the gossip had declined, but Sato then wondered: Did he actually know himself? The person who he would claim they had all wrong?

Kakashi's mission activity had been restored to light duty, and he kept more in the company of his students. On off days, he was glad to spend time with Sato and polish up his skills. If his nephew had set any kind of goal for himself, well, he preferred to keep him on that track as opposed to a self-destructive plunge. There were some days in which Sato did not turn up, and those days made Kakashi's stomach lurch. Sometimes, the dark caught up to hogtie Sato in hopelessness.

"I have a mission. Can you keep an eye on Sato today while you're off?" Kakashi felt bad about putting his boyfriend on alert, "I'll be back in two days."

Tenzo waved a hand at him, "Stop worrying. You don't even have to ask."

"He didn't show up again like he—"

Tenzo held his face, stilling him, "He's going to be fine. I'm here."

Kakashi took a breath.

As promised, Tenzo monitored the state of affairs in Kakashi's absence. He remembered Kakashi describing the last occasion Sato had shut himself in for a while, during which Kakashi had poked his nose into Dr. Iwao's office to investigate. She had advised him not to hover, "I ought to keep this confidential, but Sato does come to his appointments with me even on his worst days. So please don't snoop around here, Kakashi. He's just starting to wrestle some control back in his life, and you ought not to exert too much control. Encourage independence."

It didn't just mean leaving Sato to hash things out on his own. Dr. Iwao had also meant for Kakashi not to fall prey to his anxieties.

Most every day, Tenzo helped fetch him out of doubtful waters and remind him that Sato was, if very slowly, improving. Kakashi's supervision relaxed to acceptable levels, reeling in his imagination so that he could instead run his puppies through agility courses, or grind his students down at the training field. If any concerns lingered after that, they fluttered off when Kakashi went home to find Tenzo, usually, who had gotten things in order and maybe started dinner. And maybe he'd left some of his belongings around Kakashi's space. But not always. Sometimes he was out: called away on a mission, a committee meeting, or reporting on Sai's societal integration.

It was a delicate balance that Tenzo had struck, rearranging his life incrementally to edge nearer to Kakashi. Though the rare bits of hysteria and anxious fretting wore him out, Tenzo could say it was a welcome change of pace. He'd learned more about Sato in the process, and had begun to feel protective over the youngster whilst on once-in-a-while check-ins; through windows, atop buildings, round corners and so on.

Without getting any background info from Kakashi, Tenzo had eventually figured out that Sato liked photography and had a sweet tooth, but was not very indulgent these days. He noticed where the boy shopped and distracted himself; locations on the street where Sato would stop and stare at businesses he used to frequent, where he was no longer welcome. Tenzo made note of those places, sometimes ventured into them to learn more about them. He'd see how Sato reacted to those who hurled callous remarks at him (hardly reacted at all), and how he interacted with teammates who would join him for training or missions. Over time, Tenzo had collected enough intelligence to be sure that Sato truly was doing well enough on his own. He kept watch because of his promise, but he never agonized over Sato's welfare.

Reciprocally, Sato noticed him more as well.

"You're here again?" Sato brightened at the sight of Tenzo who was exiting the Cosme convenience store with two latte-style beverages.

"Looks like it— we might be on similar schedules now. I won't be on duty until this evening." Tenzo handed one of the drinks to Sato, who was startled, "Here."

"Are you sure-?"

"I got it for you. Doesn't the store owner give you grief? So you don't have to go in and put up with that."

"Wow, thanks, let me give you some money for this at least." His expression lightened even more. Sato sipped noisily and passed money notes to Tenzo, who graciously accepted. They walked in a concurrent direction towards the large south-central park of the village.

"The dogs are out here today. Just a bit more training and then Kakashi thought he might take Tolsi and Gattsu on their first mission, if it's C-Rank." Tenzo filled him in.

"He doesn't think it's too soon?"

"When it comes to ninken, he knows what he's talking about." Tenzo smiled to himself as they progressed down a gravel park path.

"When did Kakashi say he'll be back, Tenzo?"

"Later this afternoon or evening, if all goes well."

"Hm." Sato sipped his drink again and watched Kakashi's dog pack a few meters ahead of them, scuffling and playing, "You might just miss him when you go to work. When does your shift end?"

"It's only an eight hour rotation. Though I'll probably have a more involved mission in a few days."

There was a companionable silence between them, harmonizing with the sway of trees in the breeze.

"I know Kakashi worries a lot." Sato observed quietly.

Tenzo looked sidelong at the young man, "He's gotten better. I'm sorry about all those things we took from your home."

"It's fine. Every once in a while I need to use something that's missing, but it hasn't been a big deal."

"I can bring a few things back." Tenzo wagered, if he did so discreetly.

"That'd be nice. To, you know, clean my toilet bowl properly with cleaner." Sato chuckled.

Akino, who had since recovered from his grave injuries, was racing with a serious case of the zoomies, which had infected the puppies and triggered them to chase. The dogs ran in a high-speed ellipse, curving around Tenzo like an obstacle then bolting away again.

Tenzo was chuckling. Because Sato was funny and lighthearted when he wasn't distraught, and also because the dogs were behaving like complete dingheads unfit for any mission, barking, prancing, and tug-of-warring. When playtime was over they'd be regimented once more.

"I know that you met Kakashi when you were in the ANBU together. You've been his friend for a long time." Sato swirled his straw around the cup, "Why didn't you retire when he did? Do you like what you do that much?"

"I…It isn't quite that." Tenzo yielded, "I was just getting my start, and he was tired of that line of work. You see, I came from Root before Sandaime-sama accepted me into his Black Ops. Everything was beginning for me. I couldn't leave the profession that I was most good at, because I didn't want to think of starting over. Maybe I could've, now that I look back…" He sighed, "When Kakashi quit, it felt like he was leaving me."

Eyes flicking to his left, Sato gave him an odd look as he interpreted the words.

Tenzo stammered an amendment, not inclined to out himself, "Uh! W-What I mean is— I might've misconstrued his reasons for leaving, because back then I didn't understand. I hardly understood anything in those days."

"You do it because it's what you know. I guess career switches aren't for everyone once you build up momentum."

"Right. My abilities are well-suited to protecting the village, so you could say that I want to put the needs of the many before my own." Tenzo tacked on, thinking of the Mokuton, "The ANBU is fine, but I think that the prestige associated with its membership is overstated. If you want to work toward it, Sato, I can help you. Though I'd rather you not think of it as an achievement so much as humbling service. Joining ANBU is to bow down and be stepped on, so all in the village can live and be secure as you act as their foundation."

"Yeesh! What a way to put it!"

"That's only my take."

"Heh! I've got to hear how Kakashi describes it." He dissolved into chuckles again.

Tenzo finished the last bit of his drink before disposing of the cup in a trackside waste bin. Sato lined up and tossed his own empty cup in an arcing shot, sinking it dead-center into the trash.

"When he left you…" Sato wondered, "Did it feel like you had no idea what you were doing?"

"Wha—? You're referring to our service time—?"

"Uh…no. I think you meant…something else." Sato hazarded a guess, "That's why you're with him so much now, right? Because you made Kakashi apologize?"

"You've got it all wrong, Sato!" Oh goodness, Tenzo felt like his head was deflating, and he would go flat and die from embarrassment. He wasn't having this discussion with a kid!

"Well if I do you can clear it up for me!" A small laugh, "I don't know, to me it sounded like there was a misunderstanding; something went unsaid. He didn't leave because of you or because you fought—"

Tenzo shook his hands wildly, "Stop speculating. Gosh, it was bad enough when he talked about it!"

"Everything scared him back then. Even his own family. I hope it didn't shed a negative light on Kakashi, whatever happened…" Sato steered the subject so that Tenzo stopped squawking, "He takes too long to set things right."

"No, there was no negative light. I didn't resent him or anything, I just…" Tenzo's shoulders sagged when he spoke, "I didn't know how to tell him, or when I'd tell him, what I was feeling. It was stuck for years on the tip of my tongue until I believed I didn't deserve to say anything."

Sato gave him that peculiar side-eye look again and Tenzo flexed his hands uncomfortably, since this kid could definitely sift out the subtext. He couldn't say I'm in a relationship with your uncle, and ruin this fledgling friendship/guardianship he had going. Sato might label it creepy and dust his hands of him. As a practice, Tenzo did not tell anyone what was going on lest it become widely-circulated information that precipitated unintended consequences.

Breaking off from the dog pack, Bull trudged over to sit beside Tenzo and lean against his leg in silence. An offering of support after he'd sensed unease in the human.

"I think it's good that you love him." Sato said enthusiastically, ignoring Tenzo's unnecessary screech and stuttering, "It's mutual! I think. I've never seen Kakashi feel that way about anyone, so I'm just guessing."

"I…I-I…haven't talked about this with anyone. Or, I don't want to, yet." Tenzo told him, "You don't…think it's unacceptable?"

"Why would I? I'm the most unacceptable person around." Sato verbally flagellated himself.

"No…I'm pretty sure Sai still holds that record."

"Heh! Not if he hasn't socially imploded yet—"

"In spite of what the public may say, I don't think badly of either of you." Tenzo offered.

Without celebrating outwardly that Sato had accepted him, he saw the young man off with a wave when he went to find his friend called Shino. Tenzo called the dog pack to gather, doled out treats when he had their attention, and led the way home.

---

The sun was setting as Kakashi's team returned through Konoha's gates. He graciously let his students scatter to return home and have meals with their families, unpack, wash-up, and all that. "I'll debrief with the Hokage." Kakashi told them.

Kiba and Sakura extended their gratitude before running home, but Tama walked alongside Kakashi, not inclined to join her parents. Not that he blamed her.

"Not in a big hurry?" He observed.

"No hurry at all." Tama smiled wanly, "I don't know if my dad is home or not."

"Things aren't improving?"

"No. My relationship with my father is just…friction. We argue so much now, even over meaningless things…at least I try to avoid tension and not pick fights. Poor Mom." Tama rubbed her temples and took a breath, "Other than that, life is good."

"Good is good!" Kakashi's eyes were closed, merry crescents. So she was enjoying herself without Sato— he was heartened to hear it.

"I've been able to spend some time with graduates from my old Academy class. They're great. I've introduced Sakura-chan to some of them."

"Ah, yes. I remember that bunch. I heard you went out to lunch with Banri." Kakashi probed a subject that Asuma had relayed to him days earlier.

Tama gave him a suspicious look, "Yeah…"

He provided a superficial description, "He's nice."

"He is nice." She confirmed.

"Kind of boring." Kakashi added.

An irritated bark, "Sensei!"

"I've met him since he's civically engaged on councils and with the Sealing Corps. I'm just sharing what I think."

"He's stable, polite, pleasant…"

"I'm not saying that he isn't."

"He's boring." Tama finally agreed, "I'm not going on another date with him. He's cute, but he's…" She shrugged, "He doesn't have a lot in common with me, and it feels like I bend over backwards to meet in the middle with him."

"Then don't." Kakashi advised, "Pick someone dangerous and eccentric. Like that Mashu kid."

"He talks like he's in an imperial court! It's too much!"

"He's in ANBU and handsome enough, so that should work—"

"Sensei, why are you trying to set me up with people? Should you even be doing that?"

Kakashi rubbed his chin, "To tell the truth I'm not really trying to. Just making conversation."

"Erg. I think I'm going to enjoy a solitary existence for now, like Uncle Gai."

"Gai's had girlfriends."

Tama have him a You're full of shit face.

Kakashi tacked on, "I think."

"What does it matter? Things finally feel normal now! I get great sleep again and I got a haircut and…" Tama heaved a sigh, "I never thought I'd feel better. But I'm so much better."

"I never thought I'd feel better either. Strange how these improvements creep up on us, no?" He agreed.

Her smile put him at ease, "It's about time, Sensei. Thanks for submitting our report. Will we see you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow, if a bit late."

"Alright." Tama bid him farewell at her specified turn, back in the direction of her home.

At the Administrative Building, the Hokage was winding down for the day and hurried his debriefing along so she could bustle downtown to her favorite tavern. Kakashi delivered his main points and avoided small talk.

On the way home in dusk light, a crow called out its idiot cry on the wing, aho, aho! It passed right over his head, floating on a breeze to neatly perch on a tree bare of every last leaf. Above the crow on a higher branch, Sato's owls Aree and Aroo were scanning the alleyways below for any unsuspecting mice. The world was feeling sparse now, Kakashi thought, as fall would give way to winter soon. He picked up the pace to escape the chill.

It was dark at home, and the dogs did not scramble down the hallway to greet him when the door clicked shut behind Kakashi. He guessed they were snoozing on the bed in the guest room, which was more or less their room.

With automatic motions, Kakashi journeyed around the flat, switching lights on, unpacking his travel bag and putting odds and ends away. He put water on to boil for tea. He washed his hands and face in the bathroom. As he reached for a towel to pat himself dry, Kakashi noticed two towels hanging on the rack. A firework of happiness warmed his chest, reminding him that another was here with him. 'Tenzo will be doing surveillance all night, unless something's changed. He didn't leave a note.' He made himself comfortable and shuffled around in house slippers.

By the time he returned to the kitchen to fix tea, Pakkun appeared and leapt up onto the counter to be eye-level with Kakashi, "Welcome back."

"Pakkun, you know I don't like you putting your butt down where I prepare food."

"It's a clean butt. And hey, say hello to me first." The dog gruffed, "Everyone's gonna be hungry when they wake up."

"Tenzo didn't feed you all before he left?" Kakashi scooped tea leaves into a strainer.

"Didn't have the time. The pups got muddy and he had to give them a fast bath, before running out for work."

"Ah." He wanted to award that man a medal for not letting small, undisciplined dogs dirty his house. Kakashi went about distributing food into bowls, setting them down on mats, and as he worked members of the pack sleepily padded into the living area. They all waited patiently until Kakashi directed them by name to take their place and eat.

He sipped tea and had a light meal of leftovers, glancing over the newspaper on the table to see what he'd missed while outside of Konoha. Awards ceremonies, business ads, clan affairs, heartwarming local stories. A headline reading KEISEKI HOUSE BURNS surprised him, 'That place in the Land of Mountains? They have more than enough money to patch it up, though.' He wondered what mischief transpired at the auction house, since the article lacked details on motives or suspects.

All meals and clean up concluded, the dogs lounged around or went back to sleep. Kakashi turned in early, glad to be back in his own bed as opposed to inns or a bedroll in the forest. He let his thoughts trickle slowly as he nestled beneath his quilt.

'I haven't seen anything weird with my Sharingan lately. Which is good. That, or I've been too distracted by Sato to notice anything.' Kakashi shut his eyes but was curious, and tried to see— see the way he had when Pein had attacked the Tide Village. Nothing. Only darkness behind his eyelid, and the darkness of his bedroom. 'It always feels so real. How is this happening? Is it some kind of prophetic vision, something all in my mind? Do I see what someone else sees? See something someone wants me to see?'

Then it hit him.

'I should test it.' Kakashi decided, 'If what I experience is all me, and not due to outside interference, then what I do can't get a response or create an effect…can't influence what I see. But if I do something that does affect what I see…then my vision might be connected to something.' Part of him was afraid of this possibility. What if other users of the Sharingan had found a way to control him? Or if someone in the Akatsuki had? If he reached out and rocked the proverbial boat, indicating to a potential enemy that he was aware of such a link could be very foolish indeed.

That was a task for another day. Maybe it was worth waiting for Tenzo to get back and watch over him, when he next used the Mangenkyo Sharingan and put his theory to the test. It took a long while for Kakashi to fall asleep, and when he did, it was a listless, tossing-turning sleep.

He couldn't wake up. The dreams were adhesive, murky and turbulent. Had the door to his bedroom been left open, one of the dogs might've taken the initiative to wake him. But they respected the division of space. Hours passed. No time passed at all.

When he felt a hand slide along his shoulder and neck, eventually the restraints of sleep broke. Kakashi whipped up into a sitting position and narrowly avoided headbutting Tenzo.

"Whoa! Kakashi, are you alright?" The man had removed his mask but was still in ANBU attire.

"I…" He sat there childishly, "Yeah."

"I came back and the dogs were pacing. You were having nightmares, Pakkun said."

"Sounds about right." Kakashi estimated. His hand snaked up to reach Tenzo's. He looked the man over and asked, "You're still in uniform?"

"Yes, my shift just ended. I would've gone back to HQ to change, but I saw something and I came here directly to tell you—"

Kakashi did not do a good job of concealing the fright in his voice, "What did you see?"

"Sato's been out for a while. It's still dark. I noticed him near the Hokage monument—" Tenzo flopped backwards on the bedspread when Kakashi bolted up and out of the room, "Hey wait! Don't panic-!"

Kakashi was panicking. His default settings seemed to go that way wherever his nephew was concerned. Somehow shoes had gotten on his feet, and the black pullover and joggers he wore were enough to run out into the dark of pre-dawn in the direction of the village's stone faces. He'd leapt off the balcony walkway and shot over rooftops. Several buildings passed underfoot before Tenzo caught up to him, trying to corral him and slow him down, but Kakashi wove away to keep moving.

"You're overreacting, you're barely awake right now! It's a good thing that I saw. He's been training!" He tried to talk Kakashi down, "Stop for moment, will you?"

"Training at the monument? He'll jump off of it—"

"I swear to you he won't. I've been watching over him and he's okay!"

"Sato is not okay!" Kakashi's spirit echoed more loudly: I'm not. I'm the one who's not.

Since stopping Kakashi didn't seem to be an option, Tenzo kept pace beside him, opting to give him more context, "Alright. Think what you want, but I'll tell you what I know. He's been training hard since that evaluation. He's asked me for pointers, wakes up early. This is normal!"

At least out loud, Kakashi did not agree. Maybe deep inside somewhere he knew that Tenzo was being sincere, and that all was probably well.

"I wanted to ask if you'd like to watch, since he was practicing a very interesting technique." Tenzo explained, "But not if you're like this! You can't appreciate it unless you relax, so please—"

Kakashi kept moving and had covered the northernmost sector of the village, dropped down off of rooftops to leap up stone bulwarks and stairways leading towards the monument's observation area. Kakashi's manic movements were remarkable, though Tenzo was disconcerted as he kept up. He'd hurt himself at this rate. It was as if he was still dreaming. The pair bounded off the metal railing of a lookout, moving up the sheer rock wall of the eroded mountainside, attaching themselves with chakra.

And just as Tenzo had forecasted, Kakashi's faculties were not operating at full capacity. He slipped on a crumbling foothold and fell back, but he was already caught. Tenzo had extended his arm, melded with Mokuton chakra to reach Kakashi and pull him up. Several meters above was a landing for the stairway proper, the one that sane people would use to climb to the top of the stone faces. Tenzo set Kakashi down there and stood face-to-face with the man, glad he wasn't racing blindly anymore.

"I just wanted to share something good." He gave Kakashi's hand a squeeze, "So trust me. Not everything is going to turn out badly. Not for you and your family."

Kakashi took a deep breath, "…sorry about that."

Tenzo shook his head.

"Is it still a family if it's only two people?" Kakashi asked as he proceeded up the steps.

"Hm. Yes, and also, you have dogs— and dogs are the trademark of contented families. That's what cultural convention suggests, anyway." Tenzo reasoned.

"Heh…that's what it suggests. I undercounted. Two of us, eight ninken," Kakashi listed the components, "And you."

"-! And me?"

"Are you not letting me count you?"

"It's! -I-I've—" Tenzo wanted to play off the honor as if it didn't mean the world to him, as if it didn't make him blush and tuck his head down, averting his eyes. Oh, and it was so much harder with Kakashi's fingers laced with his, leading him forward by the hand.

"You what?" Kakashi was more relaxed. Because his face was uncovered, Tenzo's eyes tracked the degrees to which Kakashi's smile tilted up, so satisfied-looking; free of the alarm that had gripped him just before.

"…I've…never been counted before." Tenzo shook his head, "Well, the Iburi clan thought I was one of them when I was young. Though I haven't been acknowledged since…"

"Clan heritage does not a family make." Kakashi teased with an adage.

"You're embarrassing me."

"I think you like it."

Red-faced, "You think I like it?"

"You should see your face. Ah, this feels good. What was I so worried about?"

"Your nephew."

"Oh yeah." Kakashi's stomach dropped again.

From the top of the stair they continued along the flat top of the earthwork, approaching the edge where the likenesses of past leaders had been carved. Still connected by their hands, Kakashi turned left and right but saw no sign of Sato, "How long ago did you spot him?"

"It couldn't have been more than twenty minutes. I thought he'd be at it for a while." Tenzo rested his free hand on his hip, pondering, "He might've taken off."

"Hmf. What a shame he quit so soon."

"No, I mean literally." Tenzo told him, turning his eyes skyward, "Took off."

"Oh." Kakashi also turned his face up.

What a hunch that proved to be. The deep color of the night was retreating from the sky, tinged teal and honey-colored on the horizon. Directly overhead, Kutaiku was a huge shadow circling at a harrowing height. It was a pretty sight to take in with his beloved one right beside him, and Kakashi was at peace up until he saw Sato take a deliberate leap off of the owl's back, and the creature made no move to fetch him.

Hand wrenching from Tenzo's grasp, Kakashi cut loose once again. Because of course he'd have to witness each blood relation he had die in some awful way. Fate-afflicted or self-inflicted, his loved ones left him. How dare Sato give up and put him through this shit again. Under a beautiful dawn, no less.

Tenzo wasn't running to stage some kind of intervention to catch the jumper, which might've miffed Kakashi more if he had not noticed that Sato made his leap with a rather large utensil.

Kakashi squinted and skidded to a stop, trying to understand. It was one of Kutaiku's contour feathers. The white, striped plume was about two meters long, and it appeared that Sato was trying to work with it in mid-air. It seemed inadvisable to do so, but Kakashi stood rooted to the spot, riveted by Sato's attempt to channel chakra into the feather. Had it worked? If not, well, he was still falling much too fast.

Sato's body balled into a crouch, feet meeting the feather, white chakra condensing down and flushing the plume rigid and it— Kakashi blinked— caught on air. It ended the dead drop and commenced a controlled float, so that all he could do was stare, amazed and grateful that his nephew had done it. Sato bent for a lower center of gravity, legs and lower body leaning and twisting for stability as the feather surfed.

Oh goodness he was dense. This was what Tenzo meant! Sato had been developing an unprecedented feather-boarding kind of technique that still appeared much too wobbly, but hell, it was magnificent and finally laid his fears to rest. Kakashi looked back at Tenzo, indicating through posture and expression that he felt dumb. His boyfriend crossed his arms and shook his head: No more overreacting.

Kutaiku sunk lower to trail after Sato's glide, skimming past the stone faces with him in the morning light. Ah, so Sato had a coach. Kakashi wondered briefly if Sato's father, Riei, had ever accomplished such a feat with his Owl Summoning.

Sato soared nearer and finally spotted Kakashi, a distant form in black growing closer, and if Sato was not mistaken his uncle also had his face uncovered and was just about grinning. It lit Sato up. He hadn't meant for anyone to see. Never thought anyone could believe in him or appreciate him ever again, but Kakashi was balancing on the edge of the Yondaime's head out on a stone spike of hair. He reached out his hand to Sato.

They exchanged a high-five as Sato flew by.

---

"Are you gonna go to that cultural exchange festival coming up?"

Tama's ears perked up as her old Academy rival, Yurie, directed the question at her. She looked around the table at her age-mates: Yurie, Mashu, Aiko, Inohei, Kojika, and Choukoki.

"Are any of you going?" Tama turned the question back on them.

"Yes! I can't wait to bring my daughters!" Aiko chirped.

"The Ethnic Quarter will be packed with people, since Han culture got more popular after the Chunin Exam." Yurie supposed, "But if the weather's good I think we should all go together."

Choukoki added beef strips to the hot pot at the center of their lunch table, "The food'll be out of this world…"

"Naturally that's the first thing you're concerned about…" Kojika mumbled, resting her cheek in her palm.

Tama decided then that, yes, she would definitely make an effort to go if she was not needed for any missions. Lunch was a pleasant affair, and her group's Ino-Shika-Chou trio contributed more to the bill since they'd ordered extra dishes. After paying, the group filed out of the restaurant and into the brisk air.

Inohei gave Tama a sly smile, "Isn't it unfortunate that Banri couldn't join us today?"

She pooched her lips in annoyance, "Not really."

"Aww, don't be like that! He's had a crush on you for so long!"

"Does that mean I owe him something?" Tama's temper flared in a Ken-like manner, and her friends all ooohhhed at her heated comeback.

Fair enough. She wasn't a big fan of Banri. They left it at that.

The subject was changed when Yurie advised Mashu to get Banri and his teammates on board with the cultural exchange festival, "Talk to them when you see them, and I'll work on getting Shoda and Mion to join us."

"Do you always need our whole group to go on outings with you? You know how hard it is to coordinate our schedules now." Mashu's protest was weak.

"Come on, ANBU amateur, make it happen!" Yurie gave his friend's back a brotherly slap.

Mashu sighed while Aiko, their team's kunoichi, giggled at them. Then, a shadow passed over the group, and Kojika was the first to look up for the source as she was ever alert for threats. When her eyes went wide in stupefaction, her friends followed her lead. Some 15 meters above them in the air, Sato was taking his feather across town to his team's training area. Tama stared mutely as her brain processed it, not listening to the verbal clamor all around her.

"-oo-waah?"

"Holy shit! Look at that asshole!"

Aiko was kinder, "Hatake-san can fly!"

"Aiko! Don't get so excited! We're not supposed to acknowledge him!"

"Who says?" Kojika sniffed at Yurie, "Who seriously gives a whoop after you've seen that?"

Choukoki quietly tried to rein the gaggle in since Tama was standing right there, even if nothing seemed to be registering on her face.

"I told you already," Mashu sounded a tad vindicated, "The White Wing of Konoha suited him. Even if it doesn't speak for his character, then at least it does for his ability." He gave Yurie a smirk and then carried on up the street to locate other members of the friend group.

Tama turned away, and when Inohei asked if she was alright, she nodded as if a hundred sandbags had dropped on her.

"I told my Mom I'd be back home to dig our winter clothing out of storage. Don't mind me. Go find everyone and see if they want to attend the festival too." She departed from their gathering spot, winding slowly through passageways between buildings, toward emptier streets. If anyone saw what Sato was doing and then spotted her afterwards on the main avenue, they were bound to make pointless associations.

'Huh.' She thought, 'It's been a while. He's stayed low-key. Hasn't bothered me.' For that, Tama supposed, she should be grateful, 'I don't really want to think about…if we're ever assigned a mission together…or need to cooperate for something. I'm just going to…' She stewed over the fact that her father's temper problems had stained her since their fighting became more frequent, and Tama had been working to control her newfound bursts of anger.

'I'll bite his head off if I talk to him. I want to hurl a trashcan lid up there and knock him down.' Tama ceded to the dark ideas bubbling up, 'Not so that anyone can see. Just to confront Sato one-on-one and be honest about how I won't play nice. I'm forgetting how. I was easygoing for so long, then I…think about how I am now. How did I do it? How do I get back to that?'

A little voice suggested that maybe she wouldn't. Cheerful and laid-back Tama was a relic of another time. A fossil. To make do, she would have to accept this evolved version of herself.

Oh, it was such a cold day.

---

Two days later, Leaf Village Jounin gathered once again that afternoon in the Standby Station for a meeting. The temperature had dropped dramatically before storm clouds rolled in, and many groaned in dismay to look out of the station's windows and see snow squalling. Some were not dressed appropriately for this weather. Sato had taken his uncle and Tenzo's recommendations seriously the day before, and put on another layer beneath his tunic. He glanced over at Neji beside him, who was also dressed in heavier Hanfu, looking quite majestic.

"Why are you always dressed so nice?" Sato whispered as the attendance roster was being called.

"Hm. I like how Tenten dresses." Neji kept his hands tucked in his sleeves, "So I find ways to match."

"Oh…my god." Sato tittered at the honest explanation, "You are so whipped."

"Your style is also largely imitation. I am not whipped." Neji's calm was undisturbed.

"Okay, let's call it something else. You are transformed. She has transformed you—" Sato's name was called, and he replied with Present! before continuing to whisper, "Nothing's really wrong with that, Neji. It's just very obvious."

After a beat Neji said, "Transformed sounds good."

Sato was delighted, "We agree on that."

"You have changed too."

Upon hearing that observation, Sato swallowed thickly and did not want to get into the specifics of how much of his development was inspired by misery and loneliness. His eyes scanned around the room at the Jounin Council that had generally come to accept him and make no mention of his reputation anymore. Neji's name was called and he responded.

Then, Neji added to Sato, "You're stronger."

"…I'm not strong. I'm fortified just enough so that I can survive."

"Nothing's really wrong with that." Neji repeated his words back at him.

Wow. Okay. Neji was a good friend. Sato reveled in the feeling for a second and did not make a big show of it.

"So…I heard from Sunshine that Naruto will be back soon." Sato dangled another pertinent subject, "Are you excited?"

Neji's eyebrows elevated imperceptibly, "Of course."

"Hee hee, you can get a rematch-!"

"I'd rather just talk to him."

"What the heck? Why are you so sedate? Isn't old, prideful Neji still kicking around in there?" An accusing whisper.

"Don't invoke that side of me unless you wish to deal with it." A fair warning.

Sato sighed softly, "Right, right. I'm not trying to tease you. I…never really mentioned before…that I was jealous of you…"

Neji's surprise heightened a few more ticks, "Jealous—?"

"That you got your relationship right. For so long, we all thought you were going to botch things, but you worked hard and honorably. I shouldn't have picked on you for going slow and protecting the person you care about at each step…" Sato explained.

"I didn't do everything perfectly." Neji told him, "It was nearly a failure on my part."

Sato concluded, "But it worked out."

"It did." Neji yielded, gratitude clear in his voice. Ah. He understood this part of Sato very well. He had lost the person he loved, and he assumed that Neji could understand what that would feel like.

The roll call ended and their conversation tapered off. Because Sarutobi Kakima was preoccupied with other duties, Kakashi acted as the moderator of discussion for the meeting.

After an hour and a half of some minor disagreements and various updates, the meeting adjourned and Neji wished Sato well before setting off for the Hyuga Estate. Several other Jounin trickled out of the room, but those that lingered dawdled around to converse with one another.

"Ah, Sato," Kurenai beckoned him over to where she stood with Asuma, "Tell us more about that technique you've been using. I was just talking about it."

He ended up staying another hour, to his surprise. Not only had Asuma and Kurenai gotten him chatting, but after they'd excused themselves Gai drifted over to speak with him as well, "How have you been, Sato-kun?"

"Gai." Sato shrunk a little, eyes watery, "I'm fine! How are you? How is everyone?"

They talked for a long time. The dreary afternoon slipped by and evening hastened. Gai was alright, in spite of his careworn look. He only briefly addressed Tama and her family, summing things up as "stabilized" and forecasting that no further trouble would come to them or Sato. The subject turned to Gai's students and his mood improved as he boasted about them. He also seemed to have some idea that good things had come Kakashi's way as well, though Sato avoided directly name-dropping Tenzo as the catalyst for that.

"I'm glad that you're doing well." Gai patted his shoulder, "When you can, I encourage you to join my team for sparring. The cold weather will make things particularly challenging!"

Kind of uncertain if he wanted to dive back into Team Gai beat-downs, Sato agreed in a warble and parted with pleasantries when Gai excused himself, citing the late hour. The building was almost completely empty. Sato wandered around and relished the silence.

His mind echoed back to his days as a student, when he sometimes lingered after-hours in the Academy for cleanup. After his mother had passed away, Sato developed the habit. Traipsing down long, empty hallways lined with windows; peering out into the world beyond that guaranteed him nothing. Poking in and out of classrooms, scaling stairwells and finding secret niches, all for the sake of avoiding the journey home. For nothing and no one was waiting for him there. In the Standby Station, Sato idled around much the same way.

On the third floor, Sato paid for a sweet apple bun at the vending machine, nipping small chunks of it as he lollygagged. He'd thought he could wait out the snowfall, but that outcome seemed less likely now. The squall persisted, framing windows in white. Sato stood beside the double doors of the top floor balcony, staring mindlessly out the window at the inhospitable weather.

"Haven't gone home yet?" Kakashi's voice came from behind him.

Over his shoulder, Sato saw his uncle also slipping money into the vending machine, "Eh? What are you still doing here?"

"I had a number of people I needed to speak to. Then I like to have my snack before I leave."

"You like the sweet apple too?"

"It's the best flavor." Kakashi said as he unwrapped the bun. He crossed over to stand beside his nephew, zoning out, eyes trained on the spiraling bands of white on the wind.

"It's easier to talk to everyone now, isn't it?" Kakashi had noticed Sato's social gains, "I told you it wasn't going to last forever. The rumor mill nonsense."

"Well…in a lot of ways it'll never really stop. The damage was done." Sato pointed out, "But I do feel relieved that the reasonable people speak to me, and the less reasonable don't go out of their way to say nasty things."

"Eventually they'll come around too."

"Whatever. I won't hold my breath. Oh, did you know Shikamaru's been speaking to me? Chouji and Ino don't know, but sometimes I meet him at the tea house." Sato smiled, "He's helped me."

"Another valuable step forward. Tell me something…" Kakashi inquired before taking his next bite, "Have you apologized to Tama yet?"

"—er…I…uh…no…"

"Now that you're talking to people, it's about time you made a serious apology."

"Kakashi, I can't. I haven't even looked for her, looked at her! She doesn't want anything to do with me or hear what I have to say."

Kakashi dusted crumbs from his fingers, "I know."

"I'll freak out—"

"No more excuses. Don't avoid it or put it off. If it feels like you're putting your neck on the chopping block— maybe it should. Just once more: make yourself vulnerable and do the right thing. If it scares the daylights out of you once it's done…" Kakashi reasoned, "Then that's the time to avoid her. If you need to be sure you never cross paths, do it after you've said you're sorry."

Sato's breathing grew heavier, and it was hard to swallow the last of his sweet bun. No. He still wasn't ready to do that. To see her. To say what absolutely had to be said.

"Do you hear me, Sato?"

"I…hear you." He cleared his throat, fretting, "I don't know if she'll listen."

"She will. I've been with Tama this whole time, and I estimate you'll get at least a minute to speak your piece. But don't push it." Kakashi told him.

"O-Okay." Feeling very low again, Sato leaned his head against the glass of the window, "When I…talk to her…it'll remind me of how scared I am. I almost completely covered that feeling up."

Kakashi asked, "And what actually scares you, about this?"

"That…it's proof. Everything is gone. I'm scared that I'll end up alone."

"There are worse things than that." His uncle didn't sugarcoat the sentiment, "Even if you do end up that way, at least you took the time to apologize to the closest friend you've had for all of your life. If you squander time, you may not get the chance."

Sato nodded shakily.

"Also, remember I told you about that 530,000 Ryo that Gai paid towards the restitution Ken demanded? Save and be sure to pay Gai back as soon as you can." Kakashi reminded him.

"I'm already working on it."

Kakashi gently patted the back of the young man's head, knowing that it was hard to reopen this wound. But honor demanded it be done. They descended the winding flights of stairs in the station, and before stepping out into the dark, frigid evening, Kakashi did not object to a hug when Sato wrapped his arms around his uncle. Resolve must've leaked out of Sato and left him slumping, head bowed, dreading what he had to do.

Kakashi tried to instill some confidence in him, "If all you have in you is 30 seconds of bravery, it still counts. Say what you can; speak over the fear. And if it's especially awful afterward don't hesitate to come find me."

Sato leaned back and slipped his arms away, saying nothing as his eyes tracked his uncle's face and wondered why he hadn't always been loved and supported this way. No matter. He was now.

Out the creaking door and into the whiteout, Sato made his way.

---

On the affluent east side of the village, Tama was sequestered in her bedroom for the night, propped up on bed pillows to thumb through a book of poetry that would hopefully put her to sleep. Plush pajamas helped abate the unexpectedly wintery cold creeping into her family's house. A quilt was bunched over her lap, her eyes scanning the page tiredly.

…And you learn to build all your roads on today

Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans

And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

Somber but relatable, she found this one. The meter was an easy pattern to follow.

After a while you learn…

That even sunshine burns if you get too much.

Tama bent her head back on a pillow, feeling slightly attacked by the words. She recuperated for a moment.

So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,

Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure…

That you really are strong

And you really do have worth…

And you learn and learn…

With every good-bye you learn.

A suspicious thump snapped her out of the flow, and Tama's eyes darted, ears perking to detect some kind of disturbance in the night. She held still and silent until there was another faint rustle beyond the window of her second-story room. She shut her book and slipped out of bed to strafe flat against the wall, approaching and listening, 'Break-in's virtually never happen in the village, but I'd bet someone dumb would try to hit a house like this.'

Tama made up her mind that she would put her visitor in a head lock. In one motion, she reached for the window and began turning the latch to swing it open. She froze when she saw Sato on a tree branch outside, as solitary and spooky as one of his owls. A brief debate raged in her head, Let him in and wring his neck! No, leave him out there. Let him in and excoriate him! No, pretend he doesn't exist. This went on for a long little while as her hand slowly moved, finger pads pressing to swing the pane open and allow the draft and snowflakes entry. And him too, if he was foolish enough.

Tama moved aside and could hardly believe the man had the audacity to charge in. She shut the window, huffing at the swirl of cold in her room, directing her undisguised scowl at Sato as he stood at the floor's center and shivered, "W-W-Who-a…it-d-d-d— it's w-way w-worse th—"

"What the hell—?" Her lips peeled back over her teeth, and she was very much her angry father's daughter, "Are you doing here?"

"-owe y-y-you an exp-p-p-lanation." Sato was tugging his soggy boots off.

She could've flipped her whole house she was so outraged, "No— NO. Stop. You're not staying. Keep your shoes on and GET OUT. I had a lapse in judgement. You startled me—"

"Your f-f-floor's getting wet! J-Jeez! Give me 30 seconds!"

"NO."

Sato's face was slate serious, "I need to apologize. I'll go straight after."

Tama inhaled to fill her lungs so she could scream in his face, but the air stuck there when she opted not to. It wouldn't be worth making a scene or waking her parents up. Instead she bit her lip and stomped to her closet, pulling a fresh towel down from a shelf and very nearly strangled him with it when she pulled it down over Sato's head, "Dry yourself."

He endeavored not to topple over as he shucked his boots free, then his snow-slicked tunic which Sato hung on the back of her desk chair. It made Tama grind her teeth— the sight of him going through these make-myself-comfortable motions. Sato patted ice chips and water from his person, keeping his eyes on the one who was profoundly scary and also in mint green pajamas. When he finished, Tama ripped the towel from his grasp and threw it down on the damp patch on her area rug, hoping to absorb some moisture.

Ah, her energy level was much too high. She'd never sleep now. For the sake of her own blood pressure, Tama sat on the edge of her bed and tried to breathe— get oxygen back to her brain. Sato stared at her for several seconds. Her eyes would meet his, then flit away, glaring at various items around her room.

Achingly slow, he sunk down for dogeza, bowing prostrate and touching his head to the floor in humility. It was only the second instance he had ever used the gesture in his life. It held Tama's attention.

"I've brought shame to you and your family. I've brought hardship to you and your family." Sato listed the offenses he had committed, "My careless actions exploited your trust in me. I denied what I did for selfish reasons. Someone who loved you the way you deserved would not have done that. And I'm sorry, Maito Tama."

He elevated his face slightly from the floor, thinking his words might be muffled in this position, "For not expressing my gratitude, for my impatience, arrogance, and impulsiveness…for not being able to give you everything you wished for…I apologize."

Sato rose to sit on his heels, kneeling, looking up gingerly and hoping a fist wasn't coming for his head. There was no violence; only a strange expression on Tama's face.

"I…took so much for granted." Sato strayed out of the formal mea culpa, "Not that it matters, but I haven't behaved that way since, and never will again. I've been working towards enlisting in the Black Ops, to better protect the village. I don't qualify yet, but more solo missions have been assigned to me lately." What was he saying? Why was he telling her all of this? "I…" There was no point in saying more, but it tumbled out, "I really did…want it all with you."

Though he didn't know it, Tama's chest constricted and rendered her incapable of speech as she was confronted with the most horrible thing she had tried to forget.

We loved each other.

No amount of festering in her anger, or socializing in new circles, or missions, or pastimes; none of that had well and truly erased that fact from her heart. The frog in Tama's throat wouldn't allow her to utter the defensive phrase I forgive you so that she could speed Sato on his way and not prolong this torment. Anyone who had bowed in dogeza would expect his or her apology to be accepted. But if they didn't hear it, how long did a person stick around to receive that pearl of forgiveness?

"I don't…" Sato spoke softly again, "Want it to be impossible for us to meet eyes, or to be able to talk when we meet in town. Maybe—" His voice cracked, "Maybe we're…meant to be rivals. Just like Kakashi and Gai. Maybe that's the only way for us not to hurt each other. We can…be good sports when we lose."

His breathing grew shallower, grief weighing down on Sato, "No one ever understood me the way you do. Your friendship is the strongest and wisest influence in my life. So I can't…burn that to the ground like it never existed…"

Finally, a peep of sound escaped Tama, as she fought off her own snare of heartache, "…we…can talk in town a little."

Sato refused to blink, hanging on her quiet replies.

"I…appreciate what you said." That was all she could give him.

He was reading the jammed, minuscule expressions morphing on Tama's face as she tried to hold it together. She might burst. In sadness, or rage, or who knew what emotion, Sato could not tell. With the official matter seen to, he pushed up to his feet and pulled on his still-damp tunic, then lifted his boots off of the towel. It was time to retreat.

He'd done it. Said exactly what he needed to say, what he had thought he'd be too spineless to face her for and admit. Dare he think it: it wasn't so bad! He did not need to take Kakashi up on his offer and run to his uncle and have a breakdown.

Sato approached the window and felt a tug, felt a boot get yanked from his hand, and he watched in astonishment as Tama tossed it to the far side of the room. 'What the-?' Was this a trap or some kind of insult? Wide-eyed, Sato gave her a puzzled look before backtracking to collect his shoe. No harm came to him.

He was startled when Tama stood up and moved to him, her eyes shiny, mouth tugging down in a miserable way. When she had him cornered, it occurred to Sato after a long moment that she wasn't trying to get back at him, hurt him, or commit any other petty deed. She wanted to touch him, and she did— Tama rested her hands tenderly on the sides of his face. She shook like a leaf.

"Uh…" Sato reached up to pull her hands away, "…no."

That drove a dagger into her. Her head hung forward in anguish, brushing his chest, and the wilting motion forced him to handle her like a glass artifact, gently trying to move her as he said, "You know…it's over."

Ah, he'd thought this apology was not so bad. It was now much worse, because Tama was crying openly, helpless, and wow, she still had a pull on him so magnetic he wasn't sure how to cope. He gave her a soft pat on the arm, "You shouldn't take back a well-known dirtbag, you know that. We have to stop feeling that way now."

"I…" Her voice bubbled and popped like a stream, "I want to…"

"You can't—"

"W-Want to resolve…this. Want that more than I…want to move forward w-without you." Tama ran the back of her hand beneath her eyes, "Maybe p-perfect isn't w-what I've been after. It was never perfect after all."

An all-consuming, choking sensation roiled in his chest, because those were the words he had once said not so long ago to her, as if to explain away imperfections they could accept. But no, she was wrong, and confused, and there was no way to accept any kind of repair in this ugly snarl between them that used to be their bond. Something hideous was left over, that others could not understand or approve of. It had to be left to die and be forgotten. Sato slipped away from her hold with a grimace and crossed the room again.

He began to bend down and tug on a boot when he felt Tama wrap her arms around him from behind; an air-like hug that almost wasn't there. When he tensed she let go, but her crying was as pure as a Buddhist sutra and he'd been stupid to look back at her and see that pain. He squeezed his eyes shut. Now him. He'd been a blubbering wimp all his life, but had fought off that disposition for this meeting. Sato felt the grief surge from his crown down to his toes, making his arms go slack at his sides, and Tama then slapped the boots from his hands in a final bid— don't go, don't go.

As she intended, Sato's energy was sapped and he dropped to his knees, shoulders heaving in a sob. She too sank down and reached again to hold him from behind, chorusing the soft, hiccupping sobs and pitiful sniffles that came from him.

"Please..." Sato's mouth was tacky, making it hard to speak, "Please don't…love me anymore."

Tama had pressed her face into his shoulder, restraining a weak, snotty laugh. Sure. That request sounded like the easiest thing in the world to fulfill.

"Tama…there's no use in making this harder. I can't fix things for you now." He tried to explain, rubbing his wet face on his sleeve, "I don't know how to protect you from the derision, all those callous words they'll say…how they'll judge you if you…stay…with me." Uttering that left his heart pounding, his nose running, as Sato just couldn't entertain the idea before, "…I could…be a loyal and amazing husband…but that won't change public opinion, even if you're happy. They will condescend to you and mock you— say you're weak. I hate that. Not to you— that can't happen to you—"

Her fingertips drummed against him to get his attention. He was being hysterical and making too much noise. Sato stifled his mournful sounds and shifted around on his knees, facing Tama properly as tears streamed down his cheeks. They folded in a hug.

"Sato," Her voice was raspy, "I think it will be worth it. If that's what happens, then let me be judged."

"—no!"

"Shh, please listen. I've been…so angry. It started a while ago. What made me most furious…what I couldn't say to anyone…was that I went along with how everyone told me to feel. Went along with how I was supposed to react. I couldn't even behave how I wanted to, naturally. The pressure came from every direction and that's how I was really weak." Tama told him, "I forgave you a while ago. I was told not to. I wanted to run back to you and talk, even when it was all fresh and awful. I was told not to. I recovered, but then had to assuage the masses. I've always done that, especially for my Dad. I won't do it anymore."

"I know you think that's bad, but I am telling you it can get much worse." Sato warned, his arms squeezing her shoulders protectively.

"Maybe." She granted, "And just because…I want you…doesn't mean I'm not still mad."

He was wracked by a rogue hiccup, "That's a no brainer…"

"When I saw you fly a few days ago I wanted to use you for target practice."

"Ooof. That definitely would've surprised me."

Their sniffling lessened, interspersed with chuckles and stuffy-nosed breathing. Sato ran his hand up and down her back, pressed into the embrace and consoled to be so close.

"I just need you to understand that a reputation is a very fragile and necessary thing around here." He could not stress enough why reconciliation was perilous, "I don't want you to bang up yours, Tama. I'd never be able to help salvage it." His hand traveled, settling at the back of her head, carding fingers through her loose hair.

"I do understand, and if I wasn't prepared for what could happen, I wouldn't have thrown your shoe." The side of her face pressed against Sato's cheek, and she kept her arms snugly around him.

"That was weird. But I get it now."

"Would you let me kiss you? To see if it's the same?" Tama asked.

Scarlet-faced, Sato gave her a bug-eyed look, "Y-You…want to?"

"Only if you do."

"I…" How quickly he had gone from despondent to schoolgirlish nervousness, "I don't know if it's a good idea…"

"None of this probably is, but that's okay." She still seemed content to be draped over Sato while his hands roamed all over her back and through her hair, saying hello endlessly.

She had asked to kiss him and thus directed Sato's attention back to the selfish part of his consciousness, the part that he had squashed and pruned, thinking he'd never indulge or enjoy anything again. Because if he did, wouldn't that eventually lead him to the place where it had all gone wrong? Was it right to want someone, and to wish he be wanted by another? For so long, Tama had been that wellspring. Desire drummed in his veins. He couldn't deny it. As she had said, probably none of this was right. So what?

Sato slipped his voyaging hand up to the side of her face to carefully turn Tama and fit his lips to hers. Oh. How silly of him to forget. There was the universe, all around her and through her, binding and breathing with him. Tama set one hand on his thigh and the other on his chest to steady herself as she leaned in. She needed more than the gentle pressure, needed his bottom lip between hers, drawing in his taste. Sato made a soft sound when she deepened the kiss.

There was no keeping track of time or the snow duster outside. They parted dizzily after a series of kisses, and then Tama said, "It's different. And so good."

"Yeah…it was." When Sato felt himself smiling, it shocked him again and his face tried to reject the expression as if it wasn't permitted.

"Let's get off the floor. Come on." Tama wobbled and rose, pulling Sato up by his hand.

He was still feeling very hesitant to relocate to her bed, or let her pull off his damp tunic and wrap him in a spare throw blanket. 'I should offer to go home and we can discuss this more tomorrow. Propriety was never something I was good at, but now it's important…'

She seemed to be reading his mind, "You don't have to leave."

"I really should."

"It's bad out there, and I still want to talk." Tama sat just as she had before, propped up on pillows.

Sato sat cross-legged and fluffed his blanket cocoon, "I know it is, but I think the adult thing to do would be to continue this conversation tomorrow at the tea house instead of your bed. 'Cuz I'm not your boyfriend or anything."

"You're right." She crossed her legs at the ankles, a smug twinkle in her eye.

"So tomorrow-?"

"No. You're already stuck. You've accepted a blanket."

"Uh, that's a cheap tactic."

"If you're determined to freeze your ass off out there, I won't stop you." Tama said as she wrestled her own quilt up.

Sato hushed up and fell sideways like a sack of potatoes. No, he honestly preferred this. Tama smiled down at him, holding his gaze, lumped beneath blankets and parallel with each other.

"Remember a little while ago," Sato mumbled, "You told me to get out? That you only let me in because you had a lapse in judgement?"

Her eyebrows raised, "Did I really say lapse in judgement?"

"Totally."

"That's great."

He bit his lip so he wouldn't laugh, "Are you sure this isn't just…a huge lapse?"

Tama snorted.

"We're lapsing." Sato whispered.

"-hee— stop, stop!" She wanted to giggle, but she also wanted him to be a bit more serious.

Sato slipped his hand out of his microfiber cocoon, holding it palm up so that Tama could enfold her hand in his.

"Do you want me to stay?" He asked.

"Forever."

"Of course, but I mean overnight?"

"Oh. Hm. Yeah."

"Not gonna get mad and snap my neck when I least expect it?"

"I won't." Tama assured him, "I'm not that much like Dad."

"I know."

Tama reached for her bedside lamp and switched off the light. They settled in silence, holding hands, warming up.

"Do we pick up where we left off?" Tama wondered.

Mouth quirking as he ruminated on the question, Sato concluded, "No, that wouldn't be right. That's not to say I don't want you that way, I do— but this is going to have to be played out carefully. Slower...with physical stuff, if that's what you mean. Right?"

"That's what I mean."

He gave her hand a soft squeeze.

"I'll always be a little scared that you'll be unfaithful again." Tama admitted.

"I know." He acknowledged the barb in her heart, "All I can do is live and do right by you. There's no other way to reassure you, because words will never mean as much as actions. It can only be blind trust."

"Honest, blind trust." She concurred.

"Trust that I will not break."

"So…" Her voice hung in the dark room, "If we are together, it's back to level one stuff."

"Kinda—?"

"We'll see what works." Tama supposed.

"Reemerging in society together is going to be…" Sato shuddered, "Well. We should brace for impact and criticism."

"Maybe some strategy can help."

"What…" He yawned, "…do you have in mind?"

---

The pair rose with the first rays of the sun the next day, and deserted Tama's bedroom long before they could be discovered. Across town at Sato's flat, Tama glanced all around to find it largely unchanged, if a bit dusty.

Her eyes reacquainted with the space as Sato disappeared into his home for a minute, and then returned to the kitchen with a large whiteboard. He set it down on the counter and asked, "Want some tea?"

"What is that?" Tama inclined her head at the board, "And yes, tea sounds good."

"It's a whiteboard. Dr. Iwao says doing visualizations is good for me, so I decided to get one of these." Sato went through the motions of putting water on to boil and fetch tea leaves while Tama hovered nearby.

The board was a bit messy, so she took the liberty of erasing smudged patches with a rag.

"Okay." Sato turned around and reached for a marker, "Let's address the big problem."

"The being-together-versus-public-perception problem?"

"Bingo." In a T-chart, Sato created columns for pros and cons, "If we hash this out enough, we can decide whether we're going to charge head-on into the lava pit of Konoha's opinions, or if we prefer disappearing to parts unknown and living as we please beyond that shit."

After a soft, inhaling hiss, Tama winced, "Oooh that is a tough one."

They worked for quite a while, sometimes branching off into discussions about their families, shinobi careers, emotional states, and so on, eventually sipping tea as they jotted considerations onto the chart. And damn, both columns were about equal when it came to benefits and consequences.

"This…this is good." Sato motioned at the board, "See? Basically, this shows us we don't have many doubts about each other. Notice that? This is loaded down more with face-losing stuff."

"I agree that is good, but we're still going to have to deal with reality if we do this. To what degree do we want to scandalize ourselves?"

"Well, what do you mean by that?" Sato wondered about the term scandalize.

"If milder, we just visibly do not hate each other in public. We can communicate and spend time together. If a bit more scandalous, we go out there and demonstrate we are dating in spite of, well, everything." Tama broke it down for him, "Or for maximum scandal we get married, like we wanted to."

"Well yeah, but eloping is option A, B, and C at this point. I would literally be decapitated if I tried to marry you at a shrine."

"That's if anyone shows up…"

"They'd show up to destroy me and show you the error of your ways."

Tama scoffed at the prediction, and then rubbed at a corner of the whiteboard with cloth, "Can I erase this section? I need to make some line graphs."

"What are you graphing?"

"Let's just compare rates of approval over time. This line will be if we run away, and this line is if we stick around. These both assume we're unmarried. Let these dotted lines represent us when married, versus staying or leaving. Okay. Let's see how negative the trends are over five years…"

"Those all look pretty freakin' negative…"

"Look, it bumps up slightly after a few years—"

"I see that, but if it's all a mess why don't we do things exactly how we want to? Remember what you said about assuaging the masses?"

"Can't we mitigate some damage?"

"How?" Harried, Sato tapped his empty tea cup on his head while fretting, "Plastic surgery? Convoluted schemes?"

"How about…" Tama twirled the marker in her fingers, "We act in a way that is unexpected, but maybe still kind of believable—?"

"Not even gonna try to imagine that-"

"You can. The cultural exchange festival is tomorrow in the Han Ethnic Quarter. If everything melts and dries out it won't be rescheduled. Let's do all of those crazy competition games and make it took like we're trying to outdo each other. It's a competitive acknowledgment of one another, even if it's a bit dishonest."

"That's all Wushu stuff isn't it?"

"Not all of it. Have you ever gone to this kind of a festival before?"

"I'd remember if I did."

"Uncle Gai and Kakashi-sensei will have a field day there, if they want to compete. You said maybe we're like them, so let's just try projecting an image people might buy into."

"That's…worth a try." Sato agreed.

"Good! Let that be tomorrow's plan, but…what do you think we should do today? My team doesn't meet for training until the afternoon." Tama looked him over and determined that Sato was waffling over something, gripping the tea cup in his hands tightly. The morning light catching in his eyes scattered in an indigo color, and his gaze shifted to her, then away, then to her. This behavior was still familiar to Tama. She could guess what he wanted.

She held up her hand to signal here, and he moved only after the invitation. Sato fitted his cheek to her palm and sighed. 'I guess this is bound to be confusing. Things between us will move slowly…and then sometimes fast. I want to touch him a lot, but we shouldn't escalate things too much.' Tama drew him in closer to meet in a kiss. She let him flood her senses again, slow and exploratory.

It was a new dance, all very tentative, and as such Sato did not pretend to know all of the steps yet when he leaned back with a low sound in his throat, indulging in some space when it felt like they could have gone on forever. He told her, "About today— I've got to meet with Shino and Sunshine for training mid-morning. But it's still so early, we can do something together. If you want. Uh…" Sato scratched his cheek, looking up so that his eyes squinted with the hint of a smile, "Want to get started on that Hatake-Maito competition stuff?"

"At 6:00AM?"

"When is there a better time for pointless rivalry?"

Tama nodded, "Yes, this is prime time, you're right. Let's see who can shovel the most storefront sidewalks before breakfast."

"With lots of goading and shouting?"

"Goading sure, but not too much shouting."

And so, Sato rummaged through a closet to find an old snow shovel, and Tama borrowed another from a business owner before they began emulating the antics they had grown up seeing their uncles take part in. Not many souls were out in the cold at that hour to witness the taunts and street-clearing, frenzied passes, but the few who did vaguely recognized the pair.

Shoveling hadn't really attracted any attention, and neither did their breakfast at the café over an hour later. Hardly any other locals ventured outside for a bite to eat. This, Sato thought, was fine. It wasn't as calamitous as he'd been expecting, to tip-toe back out into the open and perhaps be seen with Tama. At least for today, their accompanying one another was not turning any heads.

Sato departed to train with his team, deciding not to explain anything at so sensitive a time. Tama worked a brief shift in the bakery before leaving to train with her own team in the afternoon.

It felt like business as usual. Their moods were lighter. There was, however, a screen of secrecy that filtered the things they spoke about with friends and acquaintances. Late in the day, the earth warmed enough to reduce most snow drifts to muddy puddles, only a few broken tree branches and messy streets left as evidence of the autumn snow squall.

On the day of the cultural exchange festival, Konoha had dried out; air chilled and sky cloudless. The Ethnic Quarter of the village was outfitted with all kinds of unusual, popular attractions.

Tama had absorbed Sakura and Kiba into her Academy peer-group as they roved, and the shinobi a few years their senior made fast friends with them. Socializing politely and keeping a low profile, Tama noticed Sato appear with Shino and Hinata, gravitating towards Neji's team and even getting acknowledgment from Shikamaru, though Chouji and Ino did not attempt to exchange pleasantries with Sato. A few Jounin floated around: Kakashi, Asuma, Kurenai, Gai, Hayate, Yugao, and Shizune, distracted mainly by curios and snack stands.

Lee's grandfather was also cruising the stalls, keeping to Lee's side for a short while before kibitzing with Ethnic Quarter residents he recognized. After being challenged, Wong Leung shuffled over to the badminton court to give an unwitting neighbor a schooling.

Two long chains of children, maybe ten to twelve in each, rushed at each other as they played Catch the Dragon's Tail, as each line leader attempted to reach the "tail" end of the other line's chain. Stations for tangram puzzles, jump rope boxes, stick games, and Hanzi calligraphy were quite crowded. Stilt-walking performers also caused a buzz.

When anyone seemed unsure about what to try first, Tenten was the most knowledgeable at matching visitors with activities. Lee had gotten caught up trying to decipher lantern riddles with Gai-sensei, and thus was not making recommendations anymore. Neji, Hanabi, and Fujita had taken an interest in a Tai Chi demonstration.

While Sato tried to make up his mind on whether to get his own order of tangyuan treats or to share an order with Shino, Hinata abruptly chirped in alarm, "Sato-kun, duck!"

He dipped his head at precisely the right moment as a leather kick ball soared for his head. Whipping around, he saw that Tama had kicked a cuju ball at him. Well, Sato and everyone else realized this at the same moment, and there seemed to be a communal gasp at the inflammatory gesture. Tama did not look at all remorseful. Ah, he could've kissed her for selling it so well. Sato tried not to grin.

"Thanks, Sunshine." He patted Hinata's arm and handed money notes to Shino, "Why don't you try the tangyuan and tell me if they're any good? I can eat some later." Sato marched across the courtyard to confront Tama, and there was an even louder gasp from all those watching.

"Is the game you're trying to play all about hitting people in the back of the head?" Sato made sure to give his smile a condescending tilt.

"I get bonus points for that, but no." Tama's acting was also on point.

"What is it, then?"

"Cuju. Kids play it a lot in this neighborhood. I wouldn't expect someone like you to pick it up." Tama folded her arms, motioning her head toward tall goal posts positioned around the ball court, "You'd just embarrass yourself, Sato."

"I don't get embarrassed anymore, and since you're being so high-and-mighty I can't help but to offer to hand your ass back to you after I completely stomp your score."

Was she pretending or actually mad? It was hard to tell when Tama clenched her teeth, grinding out, "You really think you can get away with talking like that to me—?"

Sato was merry, "Only if you're too chicken to play!"

Tama stomped to the court's edge without a word, ignoring Sakura and Kiba's horrified looks, and picked up another cuju ball. She slammed it down on the ground so hard a small mushroom cloud of dust wafted up.

"You're not better than me. Not in a single thing." Tama warned, "If you insist— it's the first to 15 goals."

"All kicks?"

"And body, but no arms or hands."

With that, they approached to stand on either side of the ball and not a soul dared act as a judge to begin such a hair-raising match. Nearly all of Tama and Sato's peers stared in astonishment. It wasn't a friendly contest, no, but they were talking! They were not ignoring one another's existence.

Not one to tolerate hesitation for very long, Tenten eventually got fed up with everyone's gawking. She raised a hand and shouted, "Start!" This mutinous act turned many wary eyes on her as Tama and Sato violently scrambled on the court.

"What?" Tenten sniffed, "Aren't the rest of you morbidly curious? I know I am."

Skidding, bending, and body-checking, the pair ran after the cuju ball and lined their kicks up with the circular goal post openings, keeping count of their points, occasionally snarling at each other. Tama's kicks were more impressive, accurately rocketing the ball through hoops. Sato was slightly more creative, however, using his head and back to bounce the ball into goals and keep it out of reach. Points ticked up quickly.

After a time, Kakashi and his companions came to stand at the edge of the court with the rest of the crowd. He stood beside Gai who was slack-jawed and at a rare loss for words.

"My goodness…" Kakashi spoke sidelong to Sakura, "I didn't expect this. If it doesn't come to blows or draw blood, I don't see any harm in it."

"But it might, Sensei!" Sakura's eyes tracked Tama's movements, "I don't know what's gotten into her! Tama-chan just saw him and instigated it. I know she's been in a bad mood lately, but…"

"If she's got to vent, let's let her vent. She didn't actually hit him in the head." Kiba pointed out.

Kakashi nodded, "Let's. Gai, doesn't this remind you of all those ridiculous contests? We might be overdue for another challenge."

When the score evened out at 14-14, and the tussling got more aggressive, Sato kicked the ball deliberately in Gai's direction to interfere with Tama's goal shot. Shouts clamored. Kakashi had reacted on instinct before his friend was struck (not that Gai needed the help), and lashed out to kick the ball away. As it so happened, it sunk cleanly through a goal post. Sato cheered and claimed that point for his own, since his kin had participated.

Tama pointed a finger in Sato's face, thundering, "You call that legitimate?! You almost hit my uncle!"

"Well my uncle saved him!"

"You can't count Kakashi-sensei's goal, it wasn't yours!"

"I'm counting it! Nyeh!" He pulled down his eyelid and stuck his tongue out.

Sato ducked her swinging fist right on schedule and retreated to another area, where he continued acting to "deescalate" the situation and challenge Tama to high-stakes jianzi (hackey sack). Their contemporaries were still thrown for a loop. Gai had been frozen in time for about ten minutes, mentally processing, before his voice processors finally launched at an unnecessary volume, "YOUTH!"

"Oh no." Kakashi was smiling, "This…may not be a good thing, Gai—"

"How in the world is hot-blooded, borderline contemptuous rivalry a bad thing, Kakashi? It's constructive! Look at all the attention they are bringing to these ethnic sports!"

"Should this really be about the sports-?"

"Other villagers will become interested and play afterwards, look! More cuju players! It's as I said." Gai pointed out the evidence, "Bear witness! Even if this is a bloody springtime in their youth, is it not still springtime?"

"No, no, we can't endorse bloody seasons—"

"Come along now, this is a team game I believe." He dragged Kakashi into the hackey sack circle whereupon they were briefly accepted until Tama got into a shouting match with Sato again, and scared Kakashi away. Gai continued pontificating as the youngsters ignored him.

On the sidelines, the Ino-Shika-Chou trio observed the commotion.

"What the heck—?" Shikamaru was mystified, "They're playing with each other."

"I don't think play is the correct verb." Ino disagreed.

"Clashing. Vying. Tilting each other, maybe sounds about right." Chouji assessed.

"I thought Sato was just deleted from her life. If I were in her shoes, I sure as heck wouldn't be doing this." Shikamaru rested his hands on his hips, "He might start to think he has a chance…"

Chouji gave his friend an odd look, "Why do you think Sato would think that?"

"Eh, no reason."

"One thing I can tell you is that none of us really know what it's like to be in Tama's position. I thought I was empathizing a while ago and I got it wildly wrong." Ino informed them.

"That's in the past now." Shikamaru didn't want her to continue rolling in the flames of guilt over her fueling gossip and the backlash it generated. Some days Ino agonized over it.

She leaned against her boyfriend and relaxed somewhat, watching the festivities. Ino then said, "Don't worry, Shikamaru. No one's trying to break your heart. You don't have to try to sympathize with what they're going through."

"I know, I know." He slid his arm around her waist.

When the game of jianzi ended in a virtual stalemate and Gai was expelled from participating, Tama and Sato moved from game to game, pitching insults and playing janken to determine game order.

Later, they ended up on an endurance-test obstacle course that Wong Leung had designed and hoped he could get Neji and Lee to run through. Instead, his grandson and his teammate ended up eating their way around the festival, enjoying gentler activities thanks to Tenten's intervention. Wong Leung was shocked to see the insane pace of Double Dutch jump ropes that Sato and Tama endured as course operators went especially hard on them. The rivals transitioned without a break into designated lanes for backflips over a lawn, at the end of which was a light body obstacle course of tall wooden posts and rope walks, and the pair climbed and leaped, neck-in-neck the whole time.

Wong Leung had cordoned off a makeshift racetrack all through the park, which began at the light body course's end, circled through a wooded area, and positioned the finish line near the mouth of the Ethnic Quarter's festival. Tama and Sato stampeded through the track. It never occurred to Wong Leung that they "hated" each other. He felt as though they were competitors taking his work very seriously, and it puffed up his ego a bit. Ah yes. Now he definitely had to get Lee and Neji to race each other.

The victory decidedly went to Tama who was finger-lengths ahead of Sato across the finish line, and those watching even let out pleased hoots upon seeing it. But the competition did not die down after that; their taunts continued and Sato demanded another race to prove himself. The next pointless challenge was not even within the confines of the festival, instead meant to be a full lap around the village's perimeter. They took off, and from what Kakashi could see of their retreating forms, they picked up random objects along the way to throw at each other. He rubbed his head as Sato and Tama disappeared from his sightline, "Oh boy…"

If this was the new normal, then there was a chance these silly, antagonistic contests could be a daily occurrence. Kakashi would know. Back in the day, he was competing against Gai on a routine basis merely to pad his own ego with no prizes at stake. Though those competitions still happened occasionally, they were nowhere near as riotous as they used to be. As it was, he had a suspicion that there was something else drawing Sato and Tama together again, apart from a need to outdo each other.

He'd seen them smile before they ran off.

---

The next day, in Suna, Naruto just barely managed to stuff the extra belongings he had accumulated into his travel bag. More tool scrolls, technical Sealing scrolls, various baubles from Suna's markets, gifts for Hinata and the Hokage, his orange jumpsuit rolled up and likely never to be worn again— since Jiraiya had asked him to keep a lower visual profile. Naruto was dressed in draped black and pale grey garb (a more local fashion), the deep 'v' of his shirt showing off tanned skin and the necklace Tsunade had given him. He pulled on his Sage cloak for good measure, then strained to zip up his bag, "Jeez! Maybe…I should have bought a new one…"

Gaara poked his face past the guest room door, "You packed the endorsement I wrote for you?"

"Yep. It's in there…somewhere."

"Remember to give that note to Tsunade-sama right away. Once you have a recommendation from her, apply as soon as you can to the Sealing Corps. You'll be in for a rigorous application process." Gaara reminded him.

"I won't forget. I'm so excited it'll be the first thing I do." Naruto slipped his crappy, beloved "disguise" sunglasses on top of his head, rethinking his statement, "No, I'm lying. It'll be the second thing I do. I've got to see Hinata first."

"Second is still a high priority." His friend allowed it.

"Will you carry my bag downstairs?"

"No." Gaara walked out and he followed.

"Not gonna ask me a million questions about what I packed, like Kankuro does? He asked about deodorant."

"He always asks about it. No. I trust you have everything. If you leave something behind I'll send it later."

They trotted down the stairs of Gaara's home.

"Did you hear from Haku yet? He's got to be done with that mission."

"Nothing yet. I have all channels open and waiting to get a response." Gaara updated him, "It hasn't been that long, but I feel uneasy. There was a headline in the newspaper…"

"You read newspapers? Pft!"

"You should too. You'll be more aware of the climate we're in, when it comes to conflict."

"Maybe at a newsstand, but I'm too cheap to buy 'em." Naruto adjusted his bag's straps on his shoulders, "Tell me right away when you hear about Haku, though. I'm sure he's alright."

"I wish I could be as sure as you." There was a careworn, fond look on Gaara's face. He didn't really want Naruto to leave. Though he had no intention of keeping him in Suna, it was much harder to part with him than he'd expected.

Naruto's hug was bearlike, reassuring and strong, bumping his head with Gaara's and trying not to sniffle, "If I'm not sure then I get lost. It's okay. Everything's okay, Gaara."

Gaara agreed softly, "…it is okay."

"I appreciate you treating me and Ero-sensei to lunch. It was a nice way to say goodbye to you and your brother and sister. Thank them again for me, will you?"

Gaara nodded, the same wistful expression on his face.

"And thanks for putting up with us for a while. We imposed…"

"You didn't. I wanted you here." Gaara crossed over to the sofa to give Jiraiya a small shake, to rouse him out of his nap.

Jiraiya mumbled and batted his lips, "Hnff…eh. Time already?" He sat up and cracked his back, "I was digesting. Better have a big canteen of water for this trip, because I'll be moving at my slowest speed and I don't want to suffer…"

Naruto didn't like the forecast of their travel pace, "Come on, Ero-sensei! I need you to move it so I can get home and see everyone!"

"We get there when we get there." Jiraiya waved him off, procuring a large water pouch from his travel bag on the living room floor, and moved to the kitchen to fill it.

Gaara went over a safety checklist with his friend, "Stay on the marked path and in view of the sentries I stationed at desert checkpoints. They're on watch for rogues and Akatsuki members."

"I will, I will. You don't need to worry yourself sick over it. I'm gonna be extra careful." Naruto vowed, "And…you'll reach out to Fū, right? About the plan to team up?"

"I don't know if I should instigate such a dramatic scheme when my council still hasn't approved the idea I put forward. There's been a lot of debate." Gaara informed him, "I also wrote to the Hokage about it."

"You what?"

"Not in full detail, just as a nebulous idea. Tsunade-sama told me something surprising, in her reply. Hidden Leaf is already acting to solidify a formal alliance with Hidden Waterfall."

"Are you kidding me? How? When?" Naruto was goggling at the news.

"About a week ago, Leaf's council officially ratified the motion. Everything will be formalized when diplomats meet in Waterfall to approve the agreement. Then exchanges of information and techniques may begin, and team co-ops will monitor for the Akatsuki. Overall, very worthwhile progress." Gaara summed it up, "Your friend set it up."

"My friend—?"

"From the Accelerated Exam."

Naruto blinked and searched his memory, "Fujita?"

"Yes, the young one from the Hyuga clan, that Matsuri defeated."

"Holy shit, I didn't think he had that much influence!"

"Apparently he does."

"Heh heh! This is awesome! So I'll be seeing Fū again before I know it!"

"I hope so. If Tsunade-sama doesn't have other plans for you. Remember that you'll be under heavy observation and may have limited mission opportunities because of the Akatsuki. Try not to let it discourage you."

Naruto flicked his shabby sunglasses down over his eyes, "No one's stopping me when I get home."

---

It was still too much effort to even try to open his eyes.

Haku laid on his back and gradually gained awareness, wherever he was. Sounds and sensations returned to him, dark, all dampened by the pervasive pang of his chakra stores running much too low. His body was mended to an extent, but still weighed down by exhaustion. Whatever he was laying back on, it was cushy. Nice. It felt kind of familiar.

Haku visited what memory he had of the turbulence he encountered after escaping Keiseki House.

He'd blacked out behind a Shinto shrine. Keepers of the shrine and a local kunoichi, who he had learned was in fact Rin, formerly of Konohagakure, had been kind enough to help him. And little Yuma had dropped meatballs and fruit onto his face while attempting to feed him, injured and held captive to the child's ramblings. A fortuitous meeting, to be sure.

From there, it was a bit hazy. Haku could admit he'd been too proud to stay and recover fully, or burden the small family in Shincha. With his limbs functioning and other wounds, for the most part, tolerable, he'd left in the night with a note of thanks addressed to Rin. Haku traveled southeast and made a point to avoid the Rice Country at all costs.

It had in part been on foot, and in part been through Ice Path that he made the return journey, and eventually tired out and hitched an unpaid ride on a commercial shipping vessel sailing south. When he neared the smallest islands of the Water Country's archipelago, Haku made the final stretch with his Ice Path to the beaches of Nanakusa. That was all that he could remember before falling unconscious again.

He kept his eyes closed and listened to the sounds of the space around him. For a while, there had been an unusual tapping noise he could not place. Then it stopped. It sounded like a gas stove was on and heating a pot. Haku was rather proud of his discerning ears. When a warm, wet cloth suddenly ran down his face to wipe off travel grime, he dared not move an inch. Where was he, exactly? Had Hiroshi collected him to dote on him above the tea shop?

Once his face was wiped clean, silence prevailed again. There was rustling and movement in the space. Oh how his body ached. He probably looked foul, in spite of the fresh change of clothes Rin had provided. Haku cracked an eye open a sliver and immediately squeezed it shut to avoid overpowering daylight. He wanted to know who was taking the time to unknot his hair and run a brush through it. Hiroshi would. More likely than that, Ranmaru or one of Tomo's children would. How thoughtful. Haku enjoyed the attention like a possum, feigning unconsciousness.

A low, gruff voice was annoyed, "…what? What?"

Haku's heart nearly stopped.

It was then he understood. He was not at the tea shop or Migawari's residence. This was the flat he shared with Zabuza. And it sounded as if Zabuza was currently aggrieved by Pua, whose soft footfalls scampered madly around the living area, demanding food. Eventually, Zabuza grumbled and rose to stand as he searched for timothy hay to feed the insufferable animal.

'This isn't…he wouldn't…' This scared him. Those touches had been too gentle. It had to be someone else.

Though the flood of light scrambled his sight momentarily, Haku still opened his eyes. Indeed, he was stretched out on the sofa of his shared flat, gazing at Zabuza's back as he crouched down to drop a handful of hay in Pua's dish. He stared at the animal for a moment, contemplative. Zabuza reached out and rubbed the pad of his thumb between Pua's ears.

"Now quit chargin' around..." Zabuza commanded.

Soundless and eyes wide, Haku observed as the man circled around the coffee table to take a seat in an armchair. He hadn't spared Haku a glance to notice that he was awake. Zabuza resumed what he'd been doing before— the source of the tapping sound. There was an open Sealing scroll on the table as a reference that he fiddled with, and then he called over a previously made Shadow Clone from its task in the kitchen to assist. The brute had his clone pull the skin of his forearm taught and repeatedly prod an inked, sharpened bamboo tube into flesh, creating the Sealing formula depicted in the scroll. If the process was painful, there was no indication of it on Zabuza's face. The work absorbed his concentration for a while.

Haku's eyes swept over the coffee table. The scroll containing the spoils from Keiseki House had been undone, and over 24 million Ryo in notes were stacked upon it. Beside that, the Master Scroll for the swordsmen's blades was also open, and being used as a reference for whatever Zabuza was tattooing. At length Haku asked, "What are you doing?"

Zabuza looked up while his Shadow Clone ignored the comment, focusing on the irezumi work.

"What's it look like I'm doing?"

"You're…tattooing a Seal?"

"Yeah. Division matrices can be used to pull from a Tool Scroll without the scroll being on hand. Like a direct link, but usually only for one specific kind of tool. If someone wants more than one tool type on hand, it'll take more inked matrices."

Haku understood, and also did not understand, "So you only want the Seversword…? But then…why are you keeping it in the—?"

"Mind your business."

"What are you doing?" Haku raised his voice, wiggling to sit upright, "You could just take it. I was unconscious. Take the Master Scroll for yourself." That was the aspect he couldn't understand, "Why be so roundabout? I won't stop you, Zabuza."

"You don't need to stop me. I don't fucking need it. The badger gave it to you." The man growled.

A small, incredulous laugh escaped Haku, "You are so full of it. You were obsessed."

"Here's a thought." Zabuza simpered, "Anyone would expect the Master Scroll to be with me. Who the hell is gonna expect it to be on you?"

That was a rather clever point, but it still did not jive with Zabuza's usual level of selfishness.

"Fine, then." Haku would not push the subject, "Do that instead, if you're so proud. Doesn't that hurt?"

"Hurts like absolute fuck."

"Then why do it?"

"I'll do it to keep the Seversword stored for a change, and so I can summon and not depend on you every damn time I need it."

"Wouldn't it be more typical of you to keep the Master Scroll for yourself, and then force me to apply an auxiliary Seal on my body, for convenience?"

Even the Shadow Clone stopped to look up from its work, grimacing, irritated. Likewise, Zabuza was frowning at Haku's inability to accept that he could be accommodating.

"Typical of me, huh?" There was a rueful look on Zabuza's uncovered face, "Guess so. That's what I'd do. Though you made it through Keiseki House and honestly exceeded my expectations. I didn't think you'd…" His eyes roamed around the room, "Get hurt like that."

"It was stupid of me to undertake another task. I provoked Dintei Bi's group and paid for it."

"Still could've been prowlers jumping you for your profits. What do you think I used to do?" Zabuza pointed out.

Haku sighed at the suggestion. Of course he used to ambush vendors after they'd made their fortunes. Classic.

"Anyway, you're too injured to handle a Division Seal application now. I'm not gonna bother. If you want one when you're better, then whatever. I've got to test to see if this works first." Zabuza took the bamboo tube from the Shadow Clone to jab the far side of his arm with ink.

"Why not…just use a brush?"

"Needs blood to connect to an outside source. Irezumi takes care of that requirement."

"Oh." Haku calmed a little, "You've learned a lot more about Sealing."

"Tch."

"It's a good thing. That's something you could do, when all of this is over." Haku reminded him.

"Don't go daydreaming about how I'll spend the rest of my days…"

"What? If not that, then maybe you'll be a disciple in the Toad Valley and take up Sage Training?" He had to tease about Zabuza's admittance into the Toad Summoning Contract.

"They'd never have me. No one wants me." Zabuza muttered, "Even in Mist, when this is over…I know what's gonna happen."

Haku was a bit defensive over the pessimistic remark, "What will happen?"

He met eyes with the young man, devoid of hostility, "You already know."

"They won't execute you." Haku insisted.

"Hmf. They will."

"At worst you'll be locked up, but you're more useful if you're alive. For your service in freeing Mist you could be pardoned, depending on how you're received by other Mist ninja. There's even a chance you'll be nominated for Kage candidacy, in which case you won't have anything else to worry about."

"None of that's going to play out."

"If you don't believe there's something good ahead for you, then why are you doing this?" Haku sat up more, wincing at his body's complaints, "Zabuza, why? If you've begun to think this spells the end for you, then why go through with it? Will you run away again, when Kirigakure is liberated? Don't you want—?"

"I don't know what I'm gonna do." The man halted him, "I thought if it doesn't go my way, then fuck it. Never thought I'd come this far anyway. Might as well go down as a demon…"

"You've changed." Haku caught himself speaking the words too forcefully, almost in a shout. As if he wanted to get the idea through Zabuza's dense head this one time.

They stared at each other, and the Shadow Clone tap, tap, tapped.

"If I have, then it's not the way you think." Zabuza told him, "What I've done differently…I had to. To not re-create what happened before. Doesn't mean I know what happens next…if it's worth it…"

Haku frowned, "What are you talking about?"

"I changed from the last time."

"What last time?"

"You won't," Zabuza growled and shut his eyes, "Understand."

"Try me. Just try me." Haku found this comical, "I'm a savant when it comes to understanding you. How that can possibly be, I don't know, but I do."

"This time I left you alone. Last time, I didn't." Zabuza delivered a cryptic explanation, "And that's what killed you."

Alarmed, Haku felt a thread of something unknowable stirring it the deepest recesses of his mind, "Killed me? Wha…I'm fine."

"You weren't the first time. There's no way you'd know— none of it stuck. Thought I'd fade out too like the dumb fuckup I was…but then it all…just repeated. I grew up again, but knew things."

His heart was racing. Haku had no clue what gibberish Zabuza was speaking, but somehow it moved him. It explained something he could never have thought to ask.

"Since I knew, I couldn't do it all again…the same way." He ground out the difficult words, "When I modified my choices...all of it was different, and I tried to navigate…thought I could handle it. Anticipate stuff. But I can't. I'd trade it away, if I could get some things back…"

"Maybe I was wrong." Haku wore a small smile, "I don't understand at all. What you're trying to tell me."

"I shouldn't tell you. There's no use. Everything is way better for you now, and much, much worse for me. I didn't know it'd be that way." A long sigh escaped Zabuza, "Can't fucking undo it now. Can't force anything. I tried…"

"You're scaring me a little."

"You've got no reason to be scared. I won't let it turn out like last time."

At a loss, Haku let the clueless expression on his face linger as his brain tried to piece together the jumbled messages Zabuza had relayed. He was fine! He'd come back from Keiseki House and had a string of good fortune. Zabuza was aware of his past failures and had learned much from them, but something seemed off about how he was conveying his journey. Last time? Was he referring to his first attempt at freeing Mist? What did he really mean?

"When I…tried to force things…to be how they were…" Zabuza listed his offenses, "To force you. Intimidate you. Steal you. None of that worked. I am actually…" He choked on the word sorry and refused to say it aloud, "I won't hurt you again."

"I don't really know what you mean when you say you want things to be how they were, but thank you." Haku acknowledged what was a very strange apology, "I'm sorry too."

"For what?"

"Trying to kill you." Haku reminded him.

"Oh. Kind of deserved that one, all things considered."

"All things considered." Haku agreed, "But if you mean what you say, that you won't do harm again…I can let all of that go."

Zabuza nodded in silence and would not look at him.

This development was perhaps the most worrisome of all, Haku thought to himself. After he had united forces with Zabuza a few years back to receive training and search for clues about the Yuki clan, Zabuza had been a miserable tyrant. He demanded things be done his way. Forced Haku into awful situations. Tested him. Occasionally abused or solicited him. Took so much from him without giving. A time had come when Haku had begun to think Zabuza would always be that way. When he'd nearly killed Temari, Haku felt even more certain of that conclusion.

Who was this person sitting across from him? Someone who was surrendering to the possibility that he might be put to death by the village he was trying to save. Someone who owned up to the fact that he'd treated his apprentice like shit. Someone who had incrementally let others into his life at last, and maybe could consider them his friends, however weird they all were.

Haku asked him, "Do Hiroshi-san and Migawari-san know that I'm back?"

"I told the pipsqueak to tell them." Zabuza took a moment to wipe a sheen of blood from his arm with a cloth.

"Ah, good. Thank you. I need to tell Naruto and Gaara as well…"

"I already sent a toad." Zabuza told him flatly.

"You did?" His head could've exploded.

"What's the big fucking deal?"

"Well it's! It's just-!" Haku's smile was tinged with humor, "You have so much in common with Naruto now!"

"Fucking what?" About then, Zabuza's head could've exploded.

"He relies on toads frequently for communication, and he too has been studying Sealing Techniques. You can also put away as much food as he can—"

"Don't compare me to the Fourth's twerp!"

"It shouldn't embarrass you, Zabuza."

"Maybe if you shut up it won't."

Haku's merry chuckling dissolved into wheezes of discomfort as he tweaked a rib. Nothing hurt nearly as bad as it had when he'd landed in Shincha, but he would need a few more days of rest before he could laugh without flinching.

It took him about ten minutes to rise from the crouch and hobble to the bathroom. He was rickety, but thank the heavens he was up on his own legs again, even the left leg that'd been broken was surprisingly strong. Ugh. How long had it been since he'd brushed his teeth? He underwent basic routines of care before showering, which also took an agonizing amount of time. Afterward, Haku reached his bedroom to dress in his own clothes, wondering what to do with the attire Rin had loaned him, 'I think these belong to Obito, and it'd be rude not to send them back to Shincha…'

Haku wandered around at the speed of molasses after that, investigating the kitchen and the rich smells wafting from it, "What's this?"

"Curry."

"Who taught you to make curry?"

"Pipsqueak did." Zabuza wiped blood from his arm again.

"Ranmaru knows how to make curry?" Haku lifted the pan's lid to find the simmering stew, "Better yet…you had the patience to learn how to cook something?"

"That old fuck Miga made me cook him dinner to repay him for the busted floor and window. So I did. I burned his fucking asshole, but he can't tell me I didn't do anything for him."

Frightened, Haku asked, "Just…how spicy is this?"

"This one's mild."

"Oh. Phew." Haku relaxed. He went about preparing rice to accompany the dish, and then returned to the sofa. Haku tsked at the sight of Zabuza wrapping up his freshly tattooed (and completed) arm without dressing the skin first, "That's no good."

"What is?"

"Your arm. That needs ointment."

"I don't have any."

"We do have ointment here, because I made it. I've told you many times before. In the supply closet, third shelf from the top." Haku gestured authoritatively with his head at the Shadow Clone, which became very aggravated after being directed so. The clone stomped to the closet, located the antibiotic ointment, and then pitched it at Haku, who scarcely had the reflexes to catch it.

Then, the insolent clone dissolved itself with a cloud of smoke that may as well have read Go fuck yourself. Even Zabuza's face was contorted in astonishment, "That's…never happened. I'm not even mad."

"They take on natures of their own, sometimes. I guess I'm very good at bothering you." Haku surmised smilingly, making space for Zabuza on the sofa. The man sank down tiredly beside him and pulled the unacceptable wrappings from his arm.

Haku set to work dabbing the balm over the marked skin, inflamed from the hideous tattooing method Zabuza had used. Neither said anything all the while, and as Haku took it upon himself to wind the roll of gauze wrappings around his companion's forearm, he dwelled in his own thoughts. He said absently, "After a day, uncover this so it has fresh air to heal…"

"Why are you smiling?"

Haku blinked rapidly and raised a hand to his mouth, as if to correct its blunder. His eyes slid up to see Zabuza giving him a measured, lion-like look; steadfast and distant. His chest and throat suddenly felt tight.

"I smiled?" Haku asked dumbly.

"You were doing it a lot."

"There's nothing wrong with it." Haku defended. He ripped the last binding from the roll to tie off Zabuza's bandage. When he passed the gauze back and their fingers touched, he was much too aware of it. His heart had no reason to race the way it did. None of this should have mattered, but simple sensations were inexplicably magnified and he couldn't shut it off.

"Never said there was something wrong with it." Zabuza gruffed as he flexed his hand, feeling the sting in his skin, "I just asked why."

Ah, that's right. That was what he asked. And Haku knew he ought not answer, because he couldn't precisely define what was going on at the moment. Color glowed high on his cheeks.

"Why…well, it must be because," Haku exercised some poise in that moment, wielding the truth, "You made me happy."

He drew his hands back, took a breath, and shifted away for some space. Haku watched as Zabuza slowly stood without a word, shutting his eyes to think. The corner of his mouth curved up. Zabuza gathered supplies to put them away, then set out into Nanakusa for a survey of the town.

Haku laid back and fought the sharp, bright escalation tumbling inside of him.

---

Note: What if Zabuza's do-over actions and decisions caused the events in Forlorn, the previous fic? And also much of this fic! Though that is only one ingredient of the alternate reality pie of this AU. *tap dances on the time paradox* The earlier excerpt came from Jorge Luis Borges' poem "You Learn." Here ya go. Have a double-update. Share your thoughts in the box below if you please.

Chapter 57- What the Truth Builds and Breaks