Chapter 18

Nathan turned the last page of the book, read it, and then slowly closed the back cover, putting the book on the coffee table in front of him. He sighed heavily and rubbed his hands across his face and eyes in an attempt to try and calm his racing heart. The book was good, it was really good and deserved to be published for people to read, but it also had made him nervous because even though it was fiction, a lot had been revealed in it about the journey of Elizabeth's heart with both himself and Lucas.

One of the main character's names in the book was Luthor Brant and he was clearly a mixture of Nathan and Lucas. At first Nathan had found his old jealous tendencies arising and that old familiar pit in his stomach pulsating with agitation at this character. She had first introduced him as a handsome and charming restauranteur with a penchant for cards and travel and his mind instantly traveled to Lucas and he knew that was who she had modeled this character after, but after continuing to read his nerves settled when he learned that Luthor Brant was also once a Pinkerton and widower with a daughter. Nathan knew that part must have been modeled after himself.

As he read the book, it became less and less about her relationship with Lucas and had way more elements in it based off their relationship. It became very clear to him as he read why Elizabeth had been so hesitant to share it with him, the book really delved into what was in her heart and was a loosely based representation of her trying to figure all of that out. Luthor had eventually settled in a small town where he became a sheriff and fell in love with the local school teacher caring for an orphaned student, but often had trouble communicating what he was feeling for the teacher which caused problems for them, including her temporarily having another suitor pursue her. A near death experience for Luthor had brought the feelings that they had for one another out into the open and they eventually got married and that's where the book ended.

The room suddenly became warm and Nathan became aware of just how shallow his breathing had become and his nerves were on edge, causing him to nervously bounce his leg up and down. He gulped in a large breath and releasing it stood and began to pace the floor. How long had she been thinking that this would all end with him and at what point had she started hoping that a marriage might be possible for them in the future? Was she trying to tell him that this was what she wanted and where she saw it ending? He knew he loved her and that she was the one for him, but they had only been officially dating for about a month now; although, they had been on this path towards this for two years, almost three.

He abruptly stopped pacing the floor moved over to his desk, pulled open the drawer, and drew out a catalog that he had been keeping in there for a few weeks. He had picked it up at Ned's the last time he was in the Mercantile, brought it home, and then had quickly stuffed it away in his desk, forgetting about it until now. He brought it back over to the couch and sitting down began to flip through it until he came to the section he was looking for. Nothing on the first page stuck out to him so he flipped it over to the next one and then there it was about halfway down the page, the perfect ring that just spoke Elizabeth all over it. It wasn't the largest on the page, but it also wasn't overly ostentatious either. It had a nicely circular cut center diamond with a lacy like pattern around the ring outlined with smaller stones. He knew it fit Elizabeth's style and personality, but the question he asked himself, was he ready, kept popping into his mind.

He thought back to his conversation with Bill and under the current circumstances maybe Bill was right, maybe he needed to be careful that the hare didn't pass the tortoise again. He smiled to himself, Bill was right, once the I love you's are said then it makes sense that the next step is to start thinking about planning for the long term. There was a lot he still wanted to find out about Elizabeth, but one thing he was sure of, she was his future and he couldn't picture that future without her in it. He still had to order the ring and would have to wait for it to arrive. Perhaps by the time that it did he would be ready to ask her and if the timing didn't seem right then at least he had it for when it was.

He looked at the clock on the wall. He had sent Allie out to play and she still wouldn't be back for a while until it was closer to dinner so he ran up the stairs to his room and took the money he had been saving out of his nightstand drawer and then back down the stairs. He then grabbed his coat and stuffed the catalog under his arm and ran out the door of his house, walking nervously all the way to the Mercantile with his hands in pockets and whistling an old love ballad tune.

As he neared the Mercantile he practically ran into Lee coming from the other direction and dropped the catalog on the ground in front of him, "Oh, excuse me. I didn't see you there."

Nathan reached down to pick up the dropped catalog only to find that Lee had beat him to it and was now staring at the page he had opened it to, "Hey, no problem there, but what's the…..rush?" The last word fell from Lee's tongue, hanging in the air between them and his eyebrows shot up with a surprised expression on his face as a small smirk began to escape.

Nathan could feel the heat making a burning sensation across his face and towards his ears and his eyes grew larger as he became more flustered, "I…well…..I um was just looking and thinking about…"

"Engagement rings," Lee finished for him. "Anyone in particular in mind?"

Nathan let out a large breath with a small nervous chuckle and simply said, "Maybe," while looking down at the ground. "Look, can we keep this between you and me for now. I'm not sure when I'm going to ask her, but I just want to be prepared for when I think the time is right."

Lee reached out and put his hand on Nathan's shoulder, giving it a squeeze "Your secret is safe with me. I won't even tell Rosemary because, well, we both know what will happen if I do, but do me a favor and don't tell Rosemary that I know once the cat is out of the bag so to speak." Lee handed him back the catalogue.

"Of course," Nathan replied before his face took more of a distant look.

It did not go unnoticed by Lee, "Something wrong?"

"Did Elizabeth tell you about getting asked to travel to New York," Nathan asked.

"Yeah, she mentioned it."

"Did she mention the part about Lucas wanting to go with her?" A small frown formed on his facial features.

Lee shook his head, "Yeah, she mentioned that too," Lee replied cautiously.

Nathan sighed heavily, "Lee, I'm just worried that I'm going to lose her if she goes on this trip and I just don't know if I my heart can handle that. I know how important this book has been to her and I want her to have the opportunity to promote it, but my jealousy over Lucas traveling with her is clouding my ability to look at this objectively. I can't lose her."

"Nathan, I'm going to tell you something," Lee began, "I've watched the two of you and if there is one thing I'm sure of, it is that Elizabeth loves you very much and as much as she loved Jack and they were right for each other, and I would never tell Elizabeth this, I think her love for you might even supersede it. To be honest, I think her heart knew long before her mind did that you were the one for her. Besides," he continued trying to add some levity to the conversation, "we both know Elizabeth has a thing for red serge and there is no way that Lucas can compete with that."

Nathan shook his head and gave a little huff with a smirky grin, "thanks Lee."

"Anytime. Now I can't tell you what to do about this trip, but I wouldn't worry about Elizabeth. Once her mind is made up she is just as stubborn as the next woman."

Nathan shook his head, "Yeah, I've seen glimpses of that stubbornness already, but the strange thing is that her strong will power is one of the things that I love about her."

"I know what you mean, I feel the same way about Rosemary. I've got to get home for dinner with Rosemary and you need to get to the Mercantile before Ned closes it up and get that ring ordered, and for what it's worth, I'm a hundred percent sure that she will say yes."

"I sure hope so. I better let you go, see you later."

"Yep, bye." Lee walked off toward the row houses and Nathan climbed the steps into the Mercantile.

Once inside he smiled over at Florence and tipped his head at her with a smile to say hi, and then turned back to the counter. Ned turned around and greeted him with a smile, "What can I do for you, Constable. Here to pick up your mail?"

"Well yes, I can grab that while I'm here, but I need to also put an order in for that." He nervously plopped the catalog onto the counter top and pointed at the ring he had chosen earlier.

Ned just stood there for a minute and if Nathan didn't know in better he would have said he had shocked him. He finally looked up at him with a big old smile on his face, "Well, is Hope Valley going to have another wedding soon?"

Nathan nervously glanced to the side at Florence who's eyes had suddenly gone wide with suspicion and then refocused his attention to Ned, "Ned, can you keep it down. I really don't want the whole town to know this."

"Oh," Ned responded quickly in a hushed tone, "got you, I'm sorry. It's just that I wasn't…I mean you're the last person I expected to come here looking to buy a ring. Elizabeth is going to love that though, it is a beauty!"

Nathan tilted his head and narrowed his eyes at him, "Ned…."

"Ok, ok. Let me write this down and we will get the order sent off tomorrow. Too late for today. Is that all?"

"Yes, thank you." Nathan walked over to where Florence was pretending to be busy and peaked around the corner at her, "Florence…"

She cleared her throat quickly and then put the pencil down she was holding and looked up at him, giving him along drawn out, "Yes…."

"Not a word…..to anyone."

"Why Constable Grant," she began feigning ignorance, "whatever are you talking about?"

"Exactly," he simply stated while giving her a warning glance. He turned leaving her flustered with her ears burning and walked out of the Mercantile back toward his home. Mission accomplished….for now.

To Be Continued….