Levi the Only Sane Man

by sakuramau

A collection of one shots written to get back to the 'good old days' in the times when the manga is more gruesome than ever. Levi is the only sane person among the dim-witted recruits, his crazy colleagues and the wacky commanding officer. Please review, say whether you like the stories, and if I should write more of them, also new chapter suggestions are welcome!

1. 1 The Titan, the Eye and the Wardrobe

Levi was pissed off. It had been his usual state of mind since those dumb brats had joined, but today they had surpassed themselves. First, they went outside to play and brought mud inside, and then Eren asked him to clarify something for the sake of their stupid bet.

'Heichou, what metal are our blades made of?'

'Titanium,' Levi answered without thinking. But he should have.

Apparently, Eren didn't hear the "ium" part.

In his "titan attack", as they called what happened to him after somebody mentioned titans, he managed to trash half the dining hall and give Levi a black eye. Because nobody else lifted a finger, as it was his, Levi's task to subdue the titan shifter! And he didn't even change into a titan…! And now here he was, humanity's strongest soldier, sporting a black eye a dumb kid had given him. He was certain that all of his colleagues hid smirks while passing him in the halls.

Levi gritted his teeth and went into his room with the plan to pass the time left till evening doing paperwork only to be ambushed by somebody who had hidden behind the door… He reacted instinctively, sending his opponent flying at the wardrobe, where he almost became one with its doors. Levi looked the intruder over.

'Erwin?'

'Oh, Levi… You've passed the test.'

'What test?!'

'I decided that… um… My head is still spinning, wait a moment… I decided I needed to test everyone's vigilance personally…'

'And you had to do it in such a way? Now my wardrobe is destroyed!'

'Well, it's you who threw me at it and besides, I thought you'd be more concerned about my health…'

'I'm very concerned, Erwin. This is why I stopped beating you when I realized it was you.'

'Uh… if you put it that way… I guess I should be grateful? Um, anyway… Now I don't feel like continuing with testing other people…'

'You know what, Erwin… I think I could help you… What's one person's attack to them? It'll be much more challenging if we ambush them together…'

'Levi, would you really?'

'I'm not doing this for you, you know.. And you have to make sure my wardrobe is fixed.'

'Understood. But I didn't think you'd believe it's necessary to perform such a test.'

'I didn't, but now I do.'

'What changed your mind?'

'Well, I just realized I don't like being the only one with a black eye so much…'