"What time is he picking you up?" asked Janet. She was sitting on the couch with a crossword puzzle next to Jack who was piloting the remote.

"Soon!" Chrissy was all but dancing with excitement.

"Who is that again?" asked Jack without taking his eyes off the TV screen.

"I told you already! Can't you remember a thing?" Chrissy's nerves were clearly on edge. "It's Sebastian!"

"Oh, Sebastian! How could I forget? Is that Sebastian the art critic? Or the photographer? No, wait, the wine connoisseur?"

"The wine what?" Chrissy stopped her pacing for a second. "Anyway, it's none of those. Sebastian is a movie director. Try to keep up, Jack!"

"Right! How could I ever forget?" Jack gave himself a few slaps on the face. "Bad Jack, bad Jack!"

"You really like this guy, don't you?" asked Janet.

"Oh, so much!" gushed Chrissy. "I just love the way he talks! It's so beautiful!"

"What does he talk to you about?"

"He talks about… er… Okay, I can never understand what he's saying. But all the same, I know it's beautiful!" Chrissy took her eyes off her own reflection in the mirror and looked at her friend for the first time in hours. "Oh Janet! You look so cute like this! You look just like a mouse! A cute little grey mouse!"

Janet's short curly hair was gathered into two tiny pigtails sticking out on either side of her head.

"Yes, that's me all right," she chuckled looking down on the baggy old grey sweatshirt she was wearing. "A little grey mouse."

"Guys, he should be here any minute. Try not to embarrass me, okay?" Chrissy gave her roommates a critical once-over. "Aren't you going to make yourselves presentable?"

"Hey, I am always presentable!" Jack sounded mildly offended. "I was born presentable!"

"Sorry, Chrissy," said Janet. "I am not gonna get all dressed up for your date. He'll only be here for a few seconds. And anyway, as soon as he sees you he won't even notice if there's anyone else in the room."

"That's true," agreed Chrissy just as the doorbell rang.

…

A couple of hours later, the front door opened again, and a furious-looking Chrissy stepped inside.

"Oh Chrissy, you are back early!" Janet looked up from her book in concern. "Everything okay?"

"You!" proclaimed Chrissy in an accusing tone. "You!"

"What's wrong, honey?" Janet ran to Chrissy and tried to hug her, but she swatted her away.

"You!.. You!.." Chrissy was choking on her own anger.

Troubled, Janet took a step back.

"Are you going somewhere with this, Chrissy? Because it's getting monotonous. Why are you so upset? And what about me?"

"What's going on?" Jack stepped out of the kitchen. Chrissy rushed to him as if to a port in a storm.

"She!.." Chrissy changed tack. "She!.."

"She what? What did she do?"

"Ruined my date, that's what!"

Jack and Janet exchanged perplexed glances.

"You are not making any sense! What do you mean, I ruined your date? How did I manage that?"

"Oh, drop the innocent act, Janet! Nobody's buying it!"

"Now wait a minute!" Janet again reached for Chrissy, who recoiled and hid behind Jack. "At least tell me what happened!"

"Like you don't know!"

"No, I don't!" Janet was also losing her temper. "Did you see me hiding under your table when you guys were having dinner? If not, then I have no way of knowing what you are talking about!"

"Jack," said Chrissy pointedly turning her back on Janet, "please tell your roommate that she stole my boyfriend."

"I am standing right here, and what kind of nonsense is this?"

"Jack," commanded Chrissy haughtily, "kindly inform your roommate I am not talking to her."

"Okay, I've had enough of this," snapped Janet. "I am sorry your date didn't work out but how is that my fault? And what are you doing hiding behind Jack? Are you that scared of me?"

"In your dreams! And I am not hiding! That's just to show I don't want anything to do with you!"

"If you don't, you don't." Janet shrugged. "But as far as I know, I've done nothing wrong. At least tell me what I am being accused of."

"Like you – " started Chrissy but Janet cut her off: "I don't want to hear another "like you don't know" because I don't know. And I won't unless you tell me."

Chrissy edged from behind Jack and slumped down on the couch.

"All he could talk about all night was you!" she spat out.

"How do you mean? He doesn't even know me! What could he be saying about me?"

"He asked, like, a hundred questions." Chrissy screwed up her face and mimicked: "What's her name, and where does she work, and what's her status?" I don't even know what this last one means. Does it mean he thinks you are Mexican?"

"It means he wanted to know if I had a boyfriend." Janet frowned. "Chrissy, honey, I don't know why he was acting this way and I certainly didn't have anything to do with it."

"Oh no? You didn't? You didn't?"

"No, I didn't! How could I? When he came in, I was just sitting here minding my own business. You introduced us, I looked up, said hi and went right back to minding my own business. What exactly am I supposed to have done?"

"You said hi and started making eyes at him! I know how you make eyes!"

Janet shook her head vigorously. "I barely nodded at him! Jack, you were right here. For goodness' sake, tell her!"

"I don't know what to say, Janet. You do make eyes, whether you are aware of it or not. I can testify to that."

"Thanks for nothing, Jack! Are you guys going to blindfold me whenever I have to say hi to anyone? Just drop it, Chrissy."

"Don't tell me what to do! Did you forget how you carried on when some guy liked me better than you? I thought you were gonna take this place apart! You even kicked me out of our room for the night!"

"Aren't you forgetting something, too? You did worse stuff than just nod and say hi!"

"In all fairness, Janet," said Jack in a reasonable tone, "you did kick up a row, and that guy wasn't even your date. He just came over to see you on business and had no clue you had designs on him."

"That's right, he didn't. But she did!"

Chrissy blew her a robust raspberry.

"Is this the most mature argument you could come up with?"

"Guys, guys, how about calling it even? Then maybe we'll have some peace and quiet."

"Good idea. But we are nowhere near even! There's a whole lot of difference between simply greeting somebody and – "

"Janet, will you at least let it go? One of you two has to – " Jack leaned closer to Janet's ear and dropped his voice to a dramatic whisper, " – stop being a baby."

"Okay, whatever. I am too tired for this anyway." Janet turned to Chrissy. "You can be pissed at me all you want. Obviously, there's nothing I can do about it. But think about this. The guy's a jerk. If all it took to make him lose focus on you was somebody saying hi, what kind of boyfriend is he? He is not the right man for you."

She walked into the bathroom and shut the door. Chrissy jumped up and ran after her.

"Oh Janet, I am so sorry," she cried pounding on the door. "Please open up! I don't want to fight! I am sorry!"

The door opened, and Janet stepped back out. She glared at Chrissy for a beat or two, then opened her arms.

"Hey, wait for me, wait for me!" Jack crossed the room in one leap to crush both girls in a bear hug and pinch their behinds.

Both promptly elbowed him in the ribs in perfect sync.

Peace and order had been restored.

.

December 20, 2020

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