Horus

We emerge from the portal, but not in Thoth's office. In front of us looms a life-size glass-and-metal pyramid. The skyline of downtown Memphis rises up in the distance. At our backs are the banks of the Mississippi River.

The sun is setting, turning the river and the pyramid gold. On the pyramid's front steps, next to a twenty-foot-tall pharaoh statue labeled Ramesses the Great, Thoth has set out a picnic with barbecued ribs, brisket, bread and pickles. He's playing on that screeching guitar of his. Khufu stands nearby, covering his ears.

"Oh, good." Thoth strums a chord that sounds like the death cry of a sick donkey. "You lived."

I'm so ready to snap the old ibis's neck.

"Where did this come from? You didn't just...build it, did you?"

Thoth chuckles. "I didn't have to build it. The people of Memphis did that. Humans never really forget Egypt, you know. Every time they build a city on the banks of a river, they remember their heritage, buried deep in their subconscious. This is the Pyramid Arena—sixth largest pyramid in the world. It used to be a sports arena for...what is that game you like, Khufu?"

"Agh!" Khufu says indignantly.

"Yes, basketball," Thoth says. "But the arena fell on hard times. It's been abandoned for years. Well, no longer. I'm moving in. You do have the ankh?"

Carter tosses him the necklace.

"Excellent," Thoth says. "An ankh from the tomb of Elvis. Powerful magic!"

Sadie clenches her fists. "We almost died getting that. You tricked us."

"Those things," Sadie says, "the shabti—"

"Yes, my best work in centuries. A shame to break them, but I couldn't have you beating up on real magicians, could I? Shabti make excellent stunt doubles."

"So you saw the whole thing," Carter mutters.

"Oh, yes." Thoth holds out his hand. Two little fires dance across his palm—the magic essences we've seen escape from the shabti's mouths. "These are...recording devices, I suppose you'd say. I got a full report. You defeated the shabti without killing. I must admit I'm impressed, Sadie. You controlled your magic and controlled Isis. And you, Carter, did well turning into a lizard."

Thoth must be joking, but there is genuine sympathy in his eyes. As if our failure has also been some kind of test.

"You will find worse enemies ahead, Carter," he warns. "Even now, the House of Life sends its best against you. But you will also find friends where you least expect them."

Thoth stands up and hands Khufu his guitar. He tosses the ankh at the statue of Ramesses, and the necklace fastens itself around the pharaoh's neck.

"There you are, Ramesses," Thoth says to the statue. "Here's to our new life."

The statue glows faintly, as if the sunset has just gotten ten times brighter. The glow spreads to the entire pyramid before slowly fading.

"Oh, yes," Thoth muses. "I think I'll be happy here. Next time you children visit me, I'll have a much bigger laboratory."

"That's not all we found," Carter says. "You need to explain this."

He holds up the painting of the cat and the snake.

"It's a cat and a snake," Thoth says.

"Thank you, god of wisdom. You placed it for us to find, didn't you? You're trying to give us some kind of clue."

"Who, me?"

"Just kill him." I tell Carter.

Just shut up.

"At least kill the guitar."

"The cat is Bast,"Carter says, ignoring my request. "Does this have something to do with why our parents released the gods?"

Thoth gestures toward the picnic plates. "Did I mention we have barbecue?"

Sadie stomps her foot. "We had a deal, Ja-hooty!"

"You know...I like that name," Thoth muses, "but not so much when you say it. I believe our deal was that I would explain how to use the spell book. May I?"

He holds out his hand. A little hesitantly, Carter digs the magic book out of his bag and hands it over.

Thoth unfolds the pages. "Ah, this takes me back. So many formulae. In the old days, we believed in ritual. A good spell might take weeks to prepare, with exotic ingredients from all over the world."

"We don't have weeks," Carter says.

"Rush, rush, rush." Thoth sighs.

"Agh," Khufu agrees, sniffing the guitar.

Thoth closes the book and hands it back to me. "Well, it's an incantation for destroying Set."

"We know that," Sadie says. "Will it destroy him forever?"

"No, no. But it will destroy his form in this world, banishing him deep into the Duat and reducing his power so he will not be able to appear again for a long, long time. Centuries, most likely."

"Sounds good," Carter says. "How do we read it?"

Thoth stares at us like the answer should be obvious. "You cannot read it now because the words can only be spoken in Set's presence. Once before him, Sadie should open the book and recite the incantation. She'll know what to do when the time comes."

"Right," Sadie says. "And Set will just stand there calmly while I read him to death."

Thoth shrugs. "I did not say it would be easy. You'll also require two ingredients for the spell to work—a verbal ingredient, Set's secret name—"

"What?" Carter protests. "How are we supposed to get that?"

"With difficulty, I'd imagine. You can't simply read a secret name from a book. The name must come from the owner's own lips, in his own pronunciation, to give you power over him."

"Great," Carter says. "So we just force Set to tell us."

"Or trick him. Or convince him."

"Isn't there any other way?" Sadie asks.

Thoth brushes an ink splotch off his lab coat. A hieroglyph turns into a moth and flutters away. "I suppose...yes. You could ask the person closest to Set's heart—the person who loves him most. She would also have the ability to speak the name."

"But nobody loves Set!" Sadie says.

"His wife," Carter guesses. "That other goddess, Nephthys."

Thoth nods. "She's a river goddess. Perhaps you could find her in a river."

"This just gets better and better," Carter mutters.

Sadie frowns at Thoth. "You said there was another ingredient?"

"A physical ingredient," Thoth agrees, "a feather of truth."

"A what?" Sadie asks.

But Carter knows exactly what Thoth is talking about. "You mean from the Land of the Dead."

Thoth beams. "Exactly."

"Wait," Sadie says. "What is he talking about?"

Carter tries to hide the shakiness in his voice. What is he so afraid of? It's just the Land of Death.

"When you died in Ancient Egypt, you had to take a journey to the Land of the Dead," he explains. "A really dangerous journey. Finally, you made it to the Hall of Judgment, where your life was weighed on the Scales of Anubis: your heart on one side, the feather of truth on the other. If you passed the test, you were blessed with eternal happiness. If you failed, a monster ate your heart and you ceased to exist."

"Ammit the Devourer," Thoth says wistfully. "Cute little thing."

Sadie blinks. "So we're supposed to get a feather from this Hall of Judgment how, exactly?"

"Perhaps Anubis will be in a good mood," Thoth suggests. "It happens every thousand years or so."

"But how do we even get to the Land of the Dead?" Carter asks. "I mean...without dying."

So that's what this is about!

Thoth gazes at the western horizon, where the sunset is turning blood-red. "Down the river at night, I should think. That's how most people pass into the Land of the Dead. I would take a boat. You'll find Anubis at the end of the river—" He points north, then changed his mind and points south. "Forgot, rivers flow south here. Everything is backward."

"Agh!" Khufu runs his fingers down the frets of the guitar and plays a massive rock 'n' roll riff. Then he belches as if nothing has happened and sets down the guitar. Sadie and Carter stare at him, but Thoth nods as if the baboon has said something profound.

"Are you sure, Khufu?" Thoth asks.

Khufu grunts.

"Very well." Thoth sighs. "Khufu says he would like to go with you. I told him he could stay here and type my doctoral thesis on quantum physics, but he's not interested."

"Can't imagine why," Sadie says. "Glad to have Khufu along, but where do we find a boat?"

"You are the blood of pharaohs," Thoth says. "Pharaohs always have access to a boat. Just make sure you use it wisely."

He nods towards the river. Churning towards the shore is an old-fashioned paddlewheel steamboat with smoke billowing from its stacks. The Egyptian Queen.

"I wish you a good journey," Thoth says. "Until we meet again."

"We're supposed to take that?" Carter asks.

But Thoth is already gone. And he's taken the barbecue with him.

"Wonderful," Sadie mutters.

"Agh!" Khufu agrees and ushers Carter and Sadie down to the shore.