Prologue
Sirius panted as he dove behind a wall, leaning his back against it to try and catch his breath. He could hear the faint sound of jinxes and curses being thrown from all directions. He let out a startled yelp as a piece of the wall was blasted off, missing his head by mere inches. He swiftly removed himself from the wall and swung around the corner, just in time to join James in fending off a particularly powerful group of dark wizards. James and Sirius' magical abilities combined didn't hold nearly enough power to fight them all off on their own. As more wizards came to their aid in the duel, the duo dodged flying curses and jinxes as they ducked behind another wall, both sweating and shaking.
''There's too many of them!'' James exclaimed. Sirius nodded in agreement, taking in deep breaths to regain his energy. The war had been going on for about a day now, and though they both knew it was far from over, they continued to hold out the hope that it would be worth it and that they'd come out victorious in the end. At the current moment, however, things were not looking very good for them.
''Where's Remus?'' Sirius shouted over the sound of the various duels happening around them. His anxiety levels had been extremely high since the war had started, and all he had been able to think about was the man that he loved, and if he was okay. James panted, still trying to calm his racing heart. He had been running off of pure adrenaline since the start of the war the previous day, and he didn't know how much longer he could go before he crashed from exhaustion.
''He got separated from me when this flurry of dark wizards came out and ambushed us. I'm not sure where he got to!'' James shouted back. The two tensed as they heard a faint cry of pain, a cry that they were all too familiar with. Sirius' eyes widened and his heart dropped.
''REMUS!'' Sirius let out a shout, making an attempt to run out from behind the wall, but was instantly pulled back down by James.
''Let me go, James! Remus could be hurt!'' Sirius pleaded, trying desperately to wrench himself free from his best friend's grasp. James shook his head, making a viable attempt to keep his hold on his best friend, who was doing everything he could to pull away.
''Sirius, if you go out there, you'll be ambushed! It's not safe!'' James reasoned. Sirius shook his head, yanking with all of his might to get out of James' grip. He was borderline hysterical at this point, the uncertainty of whether Remus was okay or not weighing heavily on his mind.
''That's exactly why I need to get out there! What if Remus is hurt, James?'' Sirius didn't give James a chance to respond as he finally managed to yank himself free and ran out from behind the wall, James yelling after him. He dodged curse after curse as he searched frantically for that familiar mop of chestnut brown hair. His breath caught in his throat as he finally found the man he was looking for, kneeling on the ground in pain. Wasting no time, he rushed over to his lover, tossing his wand to the ground as he fell to his knees beside him.
''Remus! Remus, it's okay, I'm here. I'm going to help you…'' Sirius coaxed, wrapping his arms around the man's waist. He immediately tensed at a sticky, wet feeling coating his arms. He turned Remus over to face him and choked back a sob. There, stuck deeply in the man's chest, was a silver dagger. Remus' eyes met his, the golden-brown orbs flooding with tears of pain and fear. Sirius already had tears streaming down his face, but he tried to remain strong for the both of them. He didn't realize he was shaking as he looked at his longtime friend and lover, knowing exactly what he had to do. Slowly, he reached a shaking hand down and grabbed at the handle of the dagger, staring into his eyes.
''I'm sorry, Moony...but I need to do this. I really don't mean to hurt you.'' Sirius closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Using both hands, he gripped the handle tightly before quickly yanking the blade out. Remus let out a howl of pain as more blood began to leak out from the wound, soaking his shirt in a crimson red. Sirius let out a soft sob, examining the dagger in his hand for any distinguishing features. It was then that he saw it: engraved neatly on the handle was a single name: Bellatrix Black. Sirius bit back a growl and tossed the dagger to the ground. He stripped off his own shirt, wadding it into a tight ball and pressing the material to Remus' bleeding chest to try and stifle the bleeding. Remus could feel himself growing weaker and his eyes began to flutter. Sirius noticed this and began to panic.
''Remus, no! Don't you do it! Don't you bloody dare close your eyes, Remus!'' Sirius pleading, attempting to apply more pressure to the wound. He was so focused on trying to stop the flow of the blood from his lover's chest that he didn't hear the sound of gravel under shoes as a figure approached.
''Sirius! What the hell happened?!'' James asked, out of breath from searching for his friend after he'd run off so quickly. Sirius ignored his question, instead barking an order at his friend,
''No time! Go find a medic, quick!'' He listened as James hurried off, praying with everything he had that Remus was strong enough to pull through this. If Remus died because of this, he'd make sure his cousin Bellatrix paid for it with her life. He glanced down as Remus let out a soft gasp. Sirius choked out another soft sob as the man that lay before him gave him a weak smile before he fell limp and still.
Sirius shot up in bed, panting heavily. His t-shirt was drenched in sweat, turning the light grey color of the material into a slightly darker shade. He felt a slight shift next to him and glanced to his left, watching as Remus slowly sat up in the bed as well. His hair was disheveled and he had faint bags under his eyes, which was a common occurrence with the man, given how little sleep he got on a regular basis. It was about two-thirty in the morning, and the only light that appeared came from the crescent moon outside their window, illuminating the room enough for the men to barely make out each other's faces. Remus looked in Sirius' direction, a flicker of worry coating his features.
''You had another one, didn't you?'' Remus asked softly. He didn't have to specify what he meant; Sirius knew what he was referring to. The ebony-haired man shivered and nodded, letting out a soft sigh. Remus instinctively scooted closer to him in the bed, wrapping his arms around him in a comforting embrace. Sirius had been having nightmares for a few weeks now, and each one seemed to get worse as the nights progressed. Remus recalled that the nightmares had started shortly after Sirius had been informed of his draft into the war. Remus didn't know if the cause was due to an overwhelming fear of the upcoming battle to be fought or if it was a multitude of things swirling around in his boyfriend's mind, but despite what the cause was, it worried him. The two sat in silence for several long moments until Sirius broke it,
''This war is driving me crazy, Remus. I can't stop thinking about it, and I can't stop thinking about one of us getting hurt or killed fighting in it.'' Sirius vented, running a hand through his hair and letting out a deep exhale. Ah, so it was fear that was driving these nightmares. Remus held him tightly, taking in his scent and letting out his own exasperated sigh.
''I know it's a lot to take in, love. These are some bloody terrifying times we're living in, and I don't blame you for being afraid. But, you'll be alright. You'll have James. And the two of you aren't going it alone. You'll have other Hogwarts alumni there beside you, and you'll have a plan of action. James will have your back, just like I know you'll have his. I know there's a lot of uncertainty going into this, but just remember what it is you're fighting for. It's going to be okay.'' The werewolf soothed, stroking his boyfriend's hair. Sirius sighed, leaning into Remus's embrace.
''You don't know that,'' Sirius whispered, trying to keep his composure. Remus exhaled softly, opening his mouth to object, then promptly shut it. Sirius was right. He could say it was going to be okay until he was blue in the face, but there was absolutely no guarantee of that, especially when it came to war. Remus held onto his lover tighter now, watching as the storm raged outside their window. He sat there for what seemed like an eternity with Sirius in his arms, listening to the patter of the rain coming down against the windowpane. He felt Sirius's muscles relax as the young man fell back into a now peaceful sleep. Remus smiled and lay back down, still holding Sirius in his arms. He held on because as much as he didn't want to think about it, it could be the last time he ever got to hold him like this.
The next morning found the couple sitting outside on their front stoop. A large suitcase sat beside Sirius, the young man gazing into the forming sunrise. His hand instinctively reached for Remus's and once he'd found the other's hand, he linked their fingers together. Remus glanced at him, trying to hide the worry residing in his heart. Sirius sighed, his hair falling limply at the side of his head. This was the last thing he wanted to do, and as much as he wanted to back out, the wizarding world needed him.
''Remind me again why you can't fight in this war?'' Sirius inquired. Remus sighed, still seemingly upset at the fact.
''Apparently, it has something to do with the lycanthropy rules. I'm not allowed to partake in any wars due to the fear of, as they put it, 'spontaneous transformation'. Which is absolutely ridiculous, by the way. There's absolutely no way for me to transform without the presence of a full moon. I get that it's a safety concern, but the way they go about it is- well, it's not handled very professionally, I'll tell you that.'' Remus replied. Sirius turned to look at him, seeing the bags under his eyes, which seemed more prominent than usual that morning.
''Moony, you look bloody awful. Did you get any shut-eye last night?'' Sirius fretted. Remus half-smiled, running a hand through his greasy brown hair.
''Honestly? Not much, but I'm fine. Don't worry about me so much.'' He chuckled, playfully shoving Sirius. Sirius frowned, still looking at him with a concerned expression.
''I'm being serious. No puns about my name, either. Remy, this war is a big deal. I just want to make sure that you'll be alright.'' Sirius said, daring himself to look into the other's eyes, which were shining with unshed tears.
''Siri...promise me that you'll be careful?'' Remus pleaded. Sirius placed a gentle kiss on his hand, smiling at him all the while. He pulled the smaller man into a tight embrace, as best as he could manage in a sitting position.
''I promise. You're the moon of my life.'' Sirius said.
''You're the stars in my sky,'' Remus replied. The two gently broke apart as they heard a loud crack, glancing up as James approached the residence, a suitcase in one hand, and his wand in the other. Sirius and Remus looked at each other knowingly before Remus pulled Sirius in for one more kiss. Sirius returned it gratefully, giving his boyfriend a sad smile before standing, grabbing his suitcase, and heading in James's direction. Remus stood from his seat on the stoop and watched as the two friends apparated away, his heart aching with sadness, worry, and most of all, fear.
''Be safe…'' With that, the lone wolf made his way back inside, quietly closing the door behind him.
The days that followed were what Remus would describe as trepidatious. No matter what he did to occupy his time, he found himself overcome with worry about his boyfriend. The war had started only three days prior, and he could barely keep himself occupied long enough to stop worrying about his loved ones risking their lives on the battlefield, wondering and praying that they were alright. Civilians had been advised to stay in the safety of their homes unless it was absolutely necessary to travel. When it came to Remus, he didn't feel safe unless he was with Sirius...and that was the part that hurt the most. He spent the duration of Sirius' absence doing mundane chores around the house if to serve no other purpose than simply easing his mind for a few hours. Days slowly turned into a week, and Remus found himself missing Sirius more and more as the days crept by. So far, there had been no indication or word that Sirius and James were okay. The Daily Prophet was quiet about anything pertaining to the war, and Remus hadn't received a single letter from either of the men. Although he was growing increasingly concerned, he tried not to let these concerns pester him by adding to his already extensive list of things he was worried about. James and Sirius would be fine...they had to be.
The wind whistled through the trees as the peak of night settled in. The cloaked figure approached the edge of the forest, the secret headquarters coming into view over the horizon. The figure made the short trek down towards the darkened building, stopping once he approached the entrance and being met by a security guard. The two made eye contact before the guard held out his hand. The cloaked figure obliged, holding out his left arm. The guard slowly pushed up the left sleeve of the cloak, just enough to see that the figure indeed had their mark, which is what they used to identify those on their side and communicate with their leader from afar. With only a curt nod as confirmation, the guard released the figure's arm and moved aside to let him pass. Once inside, the figure made his way down a long, narrow hallway until he reached two double doors, leading into an office room, where he has been instructed to appear to receive his mission. Once inside, he stood before their leader, the room slightly lit by a few single candles at the head of the room. The leader was silent for a brief moment, standing up from his seat behind the large mahogany desk and making his way around to the front of it, facing the hooded figure.
''Remove your hood.'' The leader ordered. The figure slowly removed his hood, his dirty-blonde hair sticking up slightly on the ends from the static build-up.
''Peter Pettigrew. I see you made it. Excellent. Are you ready for your first official mission as part of my ranks?'' His leader spoke, only loud enough for the young man to hear. Peter hesitated for a moment, but soon gave a silent nod of the head as confirmation. If there was one thing he'd learned from his time around their leader over the past few months, it was that your responses should be quick, confident, and silent, unless otherwise indicated. His leader grinned, pleased that he was in control of the cowardly, pitiful young man that stood before him. He had complete and utter power over him.
''I know that recruiting these types of people to our ranks will not be easy. Hell, I wouldn't even dream of associating with scum like them if I wasn't desperate. But the Ministry forbids them from fighting in the war due to fear of overpowering strength, and spontaneous transformation. That's exactly why we need them on our side. The Ministry is simply playing it safe, not allowing half-breeds to participate in the war, and they don't realize that by forbidding these wizards to fight, they're only providing more resources for the opposing side. With these additions to our ranks, there's no possible way we can lose this war. Your mission is simple: I need you to recruit Remus Lupin.''
Author's Note: Please keep in mind that this is only an introduction to the story. Future updates will be much longer in length.