She had fallen in love with a boy she had never met from a TV show she was forced to watch by an equally obsessive mother. But she loved the show and she loved the fans she'd interact with online. It'd be her online presence and the friends she made that influenced her behavior. Sierra was notoriously good at digging up information about the cast of Total Drama. The more she found the bigger her online presence became in the community. It felt strange in that moment for her to think back about all the times she spent on the forums. She looked over at Cody, who had fallen asleep on their long drive back. Was this really the boy she'd fallen in love with? It's not every day you get to meet your TV crush and what kind of lifetime opportunity would lead her to staying at his place? She struggled to fall asleep herself as her mind kept racing with these thoughts and feelings.

The sun started to set as they pulled into the clean driveway of a suburban neighborhood. To Sierra, it seemed rather prestigious and tranquil. Small hedges bordered the front of the lawn to the narrow street and children were riding their bikes over speed bumps around the curved roads. The house didn't necessarily stand out compared to the surrounding buildings but the area was extraordinarily lavish compared to her modest lifestyle. Cody started to rub his eyes after Sierra slightly shook him by the shoulder. The two of them grabbed all their luggage and headed inside.

"This is the guest room over here," Cody motioned to the large panel door as she followed him up the stairs, "My room is on the other end of the hallway and there's a bathroom in between. You won't have to go downstairs for anything."

Sierra had a sinking feeling in her gut as he opened the door to what would be her temporary living space. The room was simple but beautiful. The queen-sized bed took up most of the space with a coffee table placed at its foot and there was a tall wooden dresser next to another door. This room, this place, the more she saw, the less she felt deserving of this kind gesture. She watched as Cody fumbled to find sheets for the bed and make the room feel homier. When he excused himself and left the room she sat down on the bed and covered her legs with a thin quilt. It was the first time in months she'd been in a comfortable bed. Her mind kept making circles around the fact that she was here, in his house… the boy she'd fallen in love with on TV. It confused her more than it elated her and she couldn't understand why. What more could she really want? She had his friendship, she was here, in his house, but none of it made her feel content. Even if she wasn't showing her pleasure in the situation forwardly, she could feel her heart racing and her hands trembling. She felt her obsessive behavior and her reasoning fight for control of her thoughts and body. As she looked down at her palms, she heard the door swing open again.

"Are you okay?" He asked as he watched her shoot her head up, "I brought you a water bottle." He set the bottle down on the end table and sat next to her on the bed. Cody had been waiting for, but dreading, this moment all day. He knew that nothing would get better if he didn't say his piece to her. He didn't anticipate having this conversation in-person, then again, he didn't really consider anything except what he so desperately needed to say. He watched her smile at him; it eased him to know that she was still the same out-going personality he'd understood.

Before he could say anything else, she spoke up, "I just wanted to talk to you for a little bit... about everything going on." He nodded and she continued, "When we first met, I was just shocked cause… there you were! This guy I liked from my favorite show was right in front of me and I didn't really know how I was going to react. I think getting the cameras out of my face helped me get off of this adrenaline rush high and-"

"Wait," he interrupted, "Don't beat yourself up over what happened because it's not going to change it. I told you we could be friends and I genuinely mean it. I think we just need to start over; no cameras, no Chris, or any of that."

Sierra looked at him warmly, "I agree. I'm still trying to not see you as 'that boy on TV' and I can't just erase feelings that I have. But… Being around you is worlds better than watching you. I don't really care if we're dating or fake-married or friends. I just want to stay in touch with you."

Cody thought about his day with Sierra. The flight back to Canada, the car ride, the little house and the room they were sitting in now. It was clear to him how badly she needed him. She was gone for months and her closest friends and family pushed her aside. As fortunate as Cody life was, he understood how frustrating it is to get ignored. Maybe they weren't so different after all. Besides, Cody knows he too has had ill-intentions with another contestant. But even after Gwen saw Cody as a real friend, he was still persistent and made her uncomfortable. Maybe he needed this friendship just as much.

"I think it'll get easier," He reassured her, "I think we're both bad at trying to talk to people we like, right? Maybe we can help each other get better."

"Yeah, you are pretty bad." She laughed then looked down, "I think it'll get better too."

Cody noticed her phone poking out of her bag, "Hey, that's your phone, right? You should take a picture of us." She was taken back for a moment since it seemed like such a strange request, "Wait… first hand me the other bag." He complied and she pulled out a small plastic bag and emptied it. She had a medium-length dark wig and started combing it with her fingers.

"How'd you get one so quickly?"

She shushed him and whispered, "I took it from my sister's closet." They laughed and she finally took the picture with him. In that moment, Sierra felt at peace. She chatted with him for a bit and he headed back to his own room for the night. For the first time in a long time, she felt loved. Not the kind of love she was looking for initially, but the kind she was missing from the friends and family she lacked. She felt as though this was an official beginning, not just for her friendship with Cody, but for her life to become as optimistic as she presents it.

As she sat up in the dark of this unfamiliar room, she dug through her bag and found her laptop. She opened the computer and was immediately met with emails and messages flooding her many inboxes. She had numerous tabs open of the many blogs she ran and moderated. Her eyes met one in particular. Her 'I Dream of Cody' account had hundreds upon hundreds of inbox notifications that piqued her curiosity. She laughed as she looked back at the last thing she posted, about how she was finally going to meet her true love and that she would make him feel the same. The more she scrolled through the account the more she felt like it was a journey back down the rabbit hole. A rabbit hole of the behavior and emotion she displayed that almost lost her the one person that cared about her. She watched the notification numbers grow steadily when she realized this was the end. She made what would be her final post to the account and deactivated before heading to bed and having the most peaceful sleep of her life.

"I don't want to dream anymore."