Fifteen Years Ago
Six-year-old Jacob sat stiff between his mother and his sister on the living room couch. His dad had called a family meeting. Jacob wasn't sure he'd ever been to one of those. It seemed important because they were in the living room, which his mom normally saved for guests.
Dad cleared his throat as he sat in the armchair that they moved every Christmas to make space for the tree. "Grace. Jacob. Your mom and I thought it was important for us to talk."
Jacob looked up at his mom. She gave Dad the kind of smile she gave Jacob when he was trying something new, but there was something else in her face. A little bit of fear. It seemed like it was always there these days. And it was all his fault.
He wanted to hug her. To squeeze in so tight she'd feel how big his love was. Then, maybe she wouldn't be so scared for him.
He looked down at his jeans and sneakers. Mom must have noticed how he was feeling. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. She kissed the top of his head as he wrapped his arms as far around her waist as they would go.
"Our family's been through a lot this year. You both know that it's always been our first priority to keep you safe. That's why, when General Mitchell talked to Mom a few days ago, we made a decision."
Jacob looked up at his mom. Her eyes were looking down the way they did when she was sad. Sad? Why was she sad?
Grace seemed to see what Jacob saw because she looked between their parents. "Mom's going somewhere, isn't she?"
Dad shook his head. "Not the way you think."
Mom finally spoke. Her fingers played with the back of Jacob's head the way they did every time they had a little talk about something important. "General Landry is going to retire. He had your dad's job in Washington, DC. General Mitchell was asked to take that job."
She looked down at her shoes. "General Mitchell took over after I had Jacob. He's done a good job for the last six years, but he asked me if I want to go back to the Air Force."
Jacob blinked. All his life, his mom had been Dr. Carter. He thought it was cool she'd been General Carter once, but now, she was saying she wanted to go back? Something about that seemed wrong.
"Your mom and I talked for a long time about it. Our family's still recovering from when your mom got shot and you two—" Dad's voice cut out.
Jacob stared at his fingers, knowing what Dad had been about to say. "When the bad men took us."
Jacob tried not to cry, and his mom scooped him up and set him on her lap. He wrapped his arms around her neck and snuggled in as she kissed his forehead.
"What your dad's trying to say," Mom said after they all got settled again, "is that I'm going to be working at Cheyenne Mountain again. With Daniel and Vala and Teal'c and Cassie."
The whole family got quiet. Even Leia, the dog they'd brought home a couple months ago after Doc... uh, died.
Mom tried to smile. "Dad and I think it will be good for us, but it is going to mean that there are some days and nights when I have to stay on the base. If you need me, you can call me. There are a lot of families that can't do that, so we're pretty lucky if you think about it."
This time Dad gave Mom the smile they usually gave Jacob when he was trying to be brave. Then, he reached for her hand which Mom gave him without thinking twice.
Grace swallowed. "Is this because I don't get nightmares anymore?"
Jacob looked up at his parents, waiting for the answer.
Mom looked almost like she was about to cry, and Dad cleared his throat. "Grace, I think we would be doing this even if you still had your nightmares."
Dad looked between them as if he wanted Grace and Jacob to know how serious he was. His brown eyes made Jacob want to sit still and pay attention. That was a feeling Jacob didn't have very often. "I want to be very clear about this. Mom's decision to go back to the Air Force is to protect you, but it's not your fault. Okay? Truth is, she's very good at what she does. I know I'm going to feel a lot safer with her back in the Air Force."
Mom squeezed Dad's hand. "Thanks, Jack."
Dad didn't get mushy or even goofy like he sometimes did. "You never have to thank me for telling the truth, Carter."
Mom shifted and kissed Dad on the lips.
Grace cleared her throat, loudly, and their parents split apart. "What about homeschooling?"
Jacob tensed. Ever since they'd come back from the bad men, Grace wanted to be homeschooled. Even though Jacob liked being at school with his friends, he agreed with Grace. It just felt too scary to leave the house.
Mom and Dad looked at each other again.
Mom was the one who spoke this time. "Grace, I know how frightening this has been, but we need to get back to normal."
Grace's eyebrows shot up. "Normal? Since when have any of us been normal?"
Dad nodded. "I know it's hard to believe, but yes. We want you to go back to school. If you feel unsafe, or if you're scared, talk to us. We'll try to be flexible. You need to go to school. You need to spend time with your friends. You need to get back to being kids."
Jacob started to shake, and he leaned in closer to his mother. The coconut smell of her shampoo and the way her arms tightened around him made him feel safe again. "But what if the bad men come back?"
Mom was quiet for a long time. "Teal'c had some ideas to help you feel safe, to help you both be able to take care of yourselves if something happened. Dad and I were still talking about it. Is that something that would help you feel safe enough to go to school?"
Jacob thought about his big Jaffa friend. They both liked Star Wars. Teal'c had even stayed at their house while Mom's arm was healing. He said it was to help out, but Jacob guessed it was because the Jaffa wanted them to feel safe. Something about their friend made Jacob feel like nothing could ever hurt them if Teal'c was there.
Finally, Jacob nodded.
Out of the corner of his eye, Grace nodded, too.
Dad almost sounded sad as he sat back in his chair and rubbed one hand across his eyes. "I'll call Teal'c in the morning."
Mom let Jacob off her lap. "I think that's all we had to talk about, kids. Do you have any questions?"
Both Grace and Jacob shook their heads.
Mom gave them each a big smile. "Go play. Dinner's going to be ready in about an hour."
As Jacob tried to get Leia to follow him downstairs, Mom wrapped Dad up in her arms and whispered in his ear. In the light of the living room lamp, it looked almost like Mom's cheeks were wet with tears. Even more frightening, Dad's did, too.