... At least, that was the idea.
The first doubt came when the plane landed. The ride was the first truly peaceful moment since Sonic had stepped into that alley yesterday. Things were finally looking up – Tails had really come out of his shell, and Sonic had high hopes for him.
Well, relatively high hopes. About as high as they could be, considering.
As Sonic secured the Tornado and started to head for a town he had spotted from the air, still marvelling at how well the plane was running, Tails took his hand again.
"What?" He shook his head dismissively, but Sonic saw fear in his eyes as he stepped closer.
"Tails..." He paused, trying to word this as gently as he could. "I need you to stay here, okay buddy?"
Tails didn't move. "Look, I'm just going to scout the town, maybe find a place to stay. It won't take long." He tried his best to smile encouragingly. "I'm pretty fast, after all."
"I-I know. I just..." He stopped, tilting his head contemplatively for a moment, and his voice trailed off into a whisper. "I don't want to be... alone."
And there it was. Last time Tails had followed Sonic somewhere populated, he hadn't been able to protect him. Sonic would have thought that the kid would be more cautious, less willing to entrust the hedgehog with his safety.
"You can keep me safe, right?" It sounded like he was trying to convince himself.
This kid was so desperate for any kind of companionship, that he was willing to put himself in possible danger, just to avoid at most a few hours of loneliness. And that was a horrifying concept.
That was the first doubt.
"You're sure?" Nod.
"Absolutely sure?" Another nod.
Sonic sighed quietly. "Fine." He knelt down, turning away. "Hop on." Tails carefully climbed on to his back, holding on tightly.
Sonic ran off, squashing the doubt as well as he could.
The second doubt came when they reached the town, and Sonic became very, very aware of how out of place they looked.
An eleven-year-old kid, carrying a three-year-old toddler, both of them bruised, dirty, and tired. They looked like a poster for some kind of awareness campaign. Sonic put Tails down, suddenly aware of how small they were.
It didn't help that this town was much bigger than Emerald Hill. It wasn't quite city-level, but it was a sprawling place, and Tails clung to him, looking at the people nervously.
"It's okay." Sonic squeezed his hand reassuringly, well aware that it wasn't at all okay. The pitied glances had never bothered him before, but now they were much more noticeable. Of course, there were more of them – walking around with a little kid had made that inevitable. But Sonic couldn't help but pay attention to them now, even when he actively tried to ignore them.
He had never really cared what regular people thought of him before. But now that he had Tails, he had become... self-aware? No, that didn't sound right...
"C-can we go?"
"Okay." Sonic forced a gentle smile, and headed off down the road.
It didn't take long for it to become apparent that there was no way they would be sleeping in a bed tonight.
Sonic's earlier dismissal of the state of his wallet had been a bad move. He was nowhere near affording a night at even the cheapest motels, His savings were now practically nonexistent, and he didn't exactly relish the idea of spending the night in a homeless shelter. Not that he could find one.
"Sorry, kiddo. Looks like we'll be sleeping in that cave we saw."
"'Kay." Tails didn't seem particularly discouraged by this. Then again, a cave with blankets was an improvement on a dumpster.
Sonic blinked, surprised by his own pessimism.
"C'mon, buddy. Let's head back. I could use some lunch." Sonic walked back through the town, uncharacteristically worried.
To be honest, he was starting to doubt that he could care for a kid.
That was it, he realized. That was why he was so off today. It was Tails. He was directly concerned for someone else for once in his life. It was a difficult adjustment.
Sonic finally realized what he had been doubting this whole time. It was his ability to keep his promise.
"S-Sonic?" He looked down. Tails was looking up at him fearfully. "Are you – are you okay?"
Stay strong. "I'm fine. Let's go." Worry about this later. Either way, he doesn't have anyone else.
Sonic looked ahead, spying a shorter route back. They walked down it for a while, when he stopped again.
He barely noticed Tails tugging at his hand. The word Orphanage burnt itself into his eyes, blocking out everything else.
Two days ago it would have made him turn away in disgust. After last time, the thought of going back was inconceivable to him.
He was vaguely horrified at the fact that wasn't disgusting to him right now.
Sonic quickly tore himself away, speeding up. No way. That's not the answer. It's just a copout. Don't you remember what it was like?
But surely that wasn't universal?
How would you know? Have you ever heard of one that wasn't like that?
But that didn't mean one didn't exist. And in any case, he had to admit, he had been cared for. There had been a roof over his head.
You gave it up. You preferred being homeless to staying there. Doesn't that say something?
But he had his Tornado. And he wasn't exactly a typical kid. He was always a wanderer at heart.
Because you had to be!
Sonic shivered. It was the logical option, that was for sure. He hated it, but it was practical.
Not that he was actually going to do it. That would be breaking his promise. And Sonic didn't break promises.
The rest of the day passed quietly. Tails spent the afternoon looking over the engine, which was apparently a surprisingly good substitute for any actual toys, while Sonic organised and took stock of their supplies, over and over, to avoid stewing over the dilemma facing him. It didn't work.
The sun set, and Sonic felt a few drops of rain. He quickly shoved everything into the cargo compartment, and ushered Tails into the cave. It was small, but it was just about big enough to protect them from the rain.
Tails curled up in his sleeping bag, shivering. Sonic noticed that he kept glancing nervously at the sky. He looked afraid, but Sonic couldn't see why he would be. The cave may have been cramped, but it was keeping them dry.
"Tails? Are you alright?" He looked up, startled, and paused for a long moment. When he finally opened his mouth, lightning flashed outside.
Instantly, he froze, pupils turning to black needles. He stayed that way for a few seconds, not even breathing, until the thunder rumbled, snapping him out of it. Tails pulled the bag over his ears, stuffing his face into the fabric, and screamed.
"Tails!" Sonic leaned forward, hands hovering nervously over the kit. "Hey! Buddy!"
Tails slowly peeked out, tears in his eyes. He tried to say something again, but lightning flashed a second time, and he froze once more. The thunder wrenched out another scream, and he hid his face again, crying fully now.
It's gotta be the lightning. Sonic gently laid both hands on Tails' shoulders, careful not to startle him. It came easily to him now.
"It's okay, kiddo," he said quietly. "It can't hurt you."
Tails whimpered, reverting back to nervous fox noises. Sonic hugged the kit, pulling him into his lap and patting his head in an attempt to calm him. It worked, in a way; Tails relaxed into it, hugging him back as tightly as he could, and the sobbing increased in volume.
They waited for a few minutes. The lightning didn't flash again, and eventually Tails fully relaxed, wriggling closer.
"Still don't get it," he muttered.
"Get what?"
"Why you care." He said it with such simplicity, like it was a normal, healthy thing to say.
"Why shouldn't I? I wasn't gonna leave a little kid starving behind a dumpster."
"But I -" Tails stopped dead as lightning struck, the thunder coming almost in the same instant now. He paused, shivering, before bravely continuing. "But I don't... I didn't do anything to – to deserve it."
Sonic laughed, hiding his sadness. "Bud, you don't need to prove anything to me. You're an amazing kid, but even if you weren't, you don't need to prove that you deserve to live."
Tails yawned, snuggling up to Sonic. "I still don't get it."
"You will. Just wait." He smiled at the little fox as his eyes closed. "I'll make sure of it."
Sonic waited for Tails to fully fall asleep, which didn't take long – the kid's energy levels were still really low. He leaned back against the cave wall and sighed.
It wouldn't be breaking his promise.
He would be keeping him safe – probably safer than dragging him along. Tails would have a bed, and meals, and people to take care of him. There had been pity in those gazes, yes, but no malice. This was neither Emerald Hill, nor Sonic's old home.
It was the right choice. Really, there was no reason to debate it.
So why does it hurt?
Sonic carefully stood up, Tails nestled in his arms, sound asleep. He adjusted the sleeping bag so its waterproof exterior layer would keep Tails dry – and, hopefully, prevent him from waking up.
He ended up having to run back. Luckily, the path was smooth and flat, so Tails didn't get jostled too much.
Eventually (too quickly), he found himself on the orphanage doorstep.
He looked at the building. It gave off a comforting aura, even through the storm. Lights still burned in the windows, and he could hear faint sounds of conversation and laughter.
It looked like a nice place. Much better than sleeping in a cave.
Right?
He wouldn't have to go in. He just needed to put Tails on the step, and ring the doorbell. He could be back at the cave before anyone opened it.
And then what?
He could go back to how things were before.
Travelling the world on his own terms, free of attachment and responsibility. Live life as a wandering spirit, going where the wind took him.
And...
Sonic suddenly realised that he was crying.
... And be alone.
Why was he crying? He never cried.
What had changed?
He could go back to being alone. Never talking to anyone. Silently protecting the world, and never being a part of it.
Sonic gasped, nearly stumbling. He awkwardly wiped the tears away. Tails shifted around in his arms, purring gently in his sleep.
He didn't want to be alone anymore.
It was selfish. It was impractical. It was utterly illogical.
Sonic turned around, hugging Tails closer as he started the trek back to the cave.
"Sorry, kiddo. Looks like you'll have to deal with me for a while longer."
A/N Made myself cry writing this. Thanks to AndTails for donating some good ideas.