"I've never seen anything so beautiful in my entire lifespan," murmured Rose, smiling as she looked upon the streets of Gotham City. They were admittedly more festive than usual, decked in lights of various colors and sizes, the whole city lit up like a Christmas tree, including the giant Christmas tree set up in Gotham Square which nearly reached the skyscrapers surrounding it.
"Neither have I," agreed J.J., staring at Rose with a goofy grin on his face. Arleen sighed loudly, rolling her eyes.
"God, I hope he snaps out of this soon," she muttered. "Before I murder him."
"And these people in costume, what are they doing?" asked Rose, pointing.
"Probably committing a crime…oh, you mean the Santas," said Arleen, noticing who she was pointing at. "Sorry, when you say people in costume in Gotham, they're usually criminals. But these people aren't - they're collecting money to donate to charity. Charity is kinda a thing at Christmas."
"How wonderful," said Rose. "Do we have any money to give them?"
"We don't usually carry cash," replied Arleen. "It's not exactly safe in this town – you're always at risk of some unscrupulous criminal trying to mug you."
"Oh. Then how are we going to get food?" asked Rose, puzzled.
"My brother and I have ways," said Arleen with a smile. "Isn't that right, J.J.? J.J.?" she repeated, her face falling as she realized her brother hadn't heard a word she said, still staring dreamily at Rose.
"J.J.!" she shouted, snapping his attention over to her.
"What?" he demanded.
"Let's get dinner," said Arleen, nodding over at the Iceberg Lounge, which had also been decorated for Christmas. The iceberg was covered in lights, and the penguins were dressed in Santa hats, which they objected to with loud squawks. And the festive penguins included the Penguin himself, Oswald Cobblepot, who was wearing a specially tailored red suit and standing at the entrance to the lounge.
"Uncle Pengers, looking sharp!" exclaimed J.J., smiling at him as they entered. "Is that one of Francois's masterpieces?"
"Oh…how lovely to see you Joker twins again," said Penguin, grimacing a smile through clenched teeth. "You're both well, I trust?"
"Never been better, Uncle Pengers," replied J.J. "As you can see by our charming dinner companion, we are the luckiest people in Gotham tonight," he added, nodding at Rose. "This exquisite young lady deserves to be treated like a queen – I trust you can oblige us."
"Of course, anything for you two," replied Penguin, his smile looking even more forced. "Anything to keep your parents happy – it's more than my insurance is worth to annoy them," he muttered under his breath as he escorted them to a table. "You have a lovely view of the iceberg and the wildlife from here – I'll send up a tray of our finest appetizers for you to share, on the house of course."
"Let me get that for you, Rose," said J.J., rushing over to pull her chair out for her. Rose smiled at him as she sat down, which made J.J.'s knees weak as he sank into the chair next to her.
"Uncle Pengers is so generous. He's a longtime friend of our parents," Arleen explained to Rose. "And he owes them a few favors. Giving us an occasional free meal is really the least he can do."
"What sort of favors?" asked Rose. "Were your parents and him in some kind of club together?"
"You could call it that," agreed Arleen, nodding. "Sort of a…similar association, I guess you'd say. Although Uncle Pengers was in Blackgate, while our parents were in Arkham."
"Are those different chapters of the club?" asked Rose.
"Your parents haven't told you about Arkham?" asked Arleen, confused. "Where they met our parents, and where our parents met?"
"No, but it sounds like a wonderful social club," said Rose, beaming. "Since it formed so many wonderful close bonds."
"Yeah…bonds is the right word, although I wouldn't call them wonderful necessarily," said Arleen, slowly. "You don't…know what your parents…do for a living?"
"Well, I know Mother is involved with plants," said Rose. "That's how she was able to grow me, but she hasn't told me much more than that. And Father never speaks about his work, but then again, I've never asked him either. Mother did mention once that he used to be the District Attorney, so I imagine he's still involved with the law in some way, an incredible, upstanding man like him."
"Yeah, he's…involved with the law, all right," agreed Arleen. "Geez, I'm really not sure it's my place to tell you this…"
"Tell me what?" asked Rose, curiously.
"Nothing, just…you wanna play with Titan?" asked Arleen, trying to diffuse the awkwardness as she handed Rose the flour baby.
"I don't want outside food being brought into my establishment, Miss Joker!" snapped Penguin, as he returned with a tray of appetizers.
"The flour's not food – it's my baby," retorted Arleen.
"Oh dear, that hereditary insanity has taken hold already, has it?" sighed Penguin. "I suppose it's fairly inevitable when you inherit it on both sides, as you have."
"You'd have to ask my brother about insanity taking hold," retorted Arleen, nodding at J.J. who leaned on his hand, gazing at Rose with glazed eyes. "And it's not literally my baby – it's a school project."
"Ah, that makes more sense," replied Penguin, nodding. "For a moment I thought that horrible Ivy woman had influenced you into thinking that plant substances were your babies as well as hers. I'm glad you haven't gone as crazy as the plant witch, but of course that's a very high bar."
"Are you talking about my mother?" asked Rose, surprised. "She's not horrible, or crazy, or a witch."
"Your…mother?" stammered Penguin.
"She grew me in a seed pod," replied Rose. "By mixing her and my father's genetic material with that of a plant. Hence my human form, but shortened lifespan of a year."
"…well, nothing crazy about that," said Penguin, sarcastically.
"She's very loving towards me," said Rose, frowning. "Has she not been towards you?"
"Her plants have cost me more in property damage than the clowns combined," retorted Penguin. "I'm in favor of senseless destruction as much as the next man, but there really is a limit. And I'm sorry to break it to you, but your mother can be positively unreasonable when the mood takes hold of her – I've seen no evidence that she's anything other than callous, heartless, and unfeeling. And that's only confirmed by learning that she's grown a child who has to die within a year. What sort of sick, twisted mind would think that's a good idea?"
Rose was clearly taken aback at her mother being spoken about in this way. But then her shock turned to sadness, and tears gathered in her eyes. She opened her mouth to respond when J.J. leapt to his feet.
"You've made her cry!" he gasped, glaring at Penguin. "You cruel monster! How dare you talk about heartlessness and lack of feelings in others when you can do that to this angel on earth?"
"What is wrong with you, boy?" demanded Penguin. "Why are you talking like that? Are you going to challenge me to a duel next?" he asked, sarcastically.
"I absolutely am!" exclaimed J.J., grabbing a napkin from the table and striking Penguin across the face with it. "En garde! Choose your weapon, and the time and place, and I'll be there to fight for this lady's honor!"
"J.J., sit down, you're embarrassing everyone," muttered Arleen.
"No, I will not stay in this brute's presence a moment longer!" exclaimed J.J. "Come on, Rose – we'll take our patronage somewhere else. And you'd better hope I don't tell my parents how upset you made me, or you're gonna need to file another useless insurance claim very soon," he growled at Penguin, while taking Rose's hand. "Come on, Leenie."
Arleen sighed, following her brother and Rose out of the restaurant. "I'm so sorry about what happened in there, Rose," said J.J. "He shouldn't have said those things about your mother."
Rose said nothing, tears still swimming in her eyes. "Are they true?" she asked, looking up at him.
"Of course they're not," said Arleen, soothingly. "Your mother loves you very deeply. She can just be…largely indifferent towards everyone else. But a lot of people are like that," she added. "Our parents, for one."
"That's right," agreed J.J. "It's the best way to be. Now don't you worry your pretty head about the things he said anymore. Let's get some food from that truck over there."
"How, if you don't have any money?" asked Rose, as she followed him over.
"Watch and see," said J.J., with a grin. "I'd like three burgers and three orders of fries, please," he said to the vendor.
"That'll be $12.80, kid," the vendor replied.
"I'm sorry, but I left my wallet at home," replied J.J., with a smile. "But I'm sure you're a generous man, especially to the Joker's son. Aren't you?"
"The Joker's…son?" stammered the vendor, terror leaping into his eyes. "Of course I am – have anything you want on the house, kid," he added, hurrying to the back of the truck to cook the burgers. "I'll throw in three free sodas and free desserts too, as many as you want!"
"Why is he giving you free stuff when you mention your father?" asked Rose, curiously. "And why did he look afraid?"
"My father's name carries a lot of respect in this town," replied J.J. "As does your mother's. You shouldn't be shy about mentioning their relationship to you – people are usually pretty obliging when you do."
"Why?" asked Rose.
"Rose, let's get a selfie with Titan and the tree," said Arleen, pulling her away before J.J. could answer. "J.J. can get the food on his own. You like the Christmas tree? I don't know how you feel about plants being cut down for display like this - I know your mother doesn't approve."
"It is sad, but it's so beautiful," whispered Rose, gazing at it. "I wouldn't mind dying prematurely if I could be as beautiful as this while I lived."
"Well, my brother would say you are," muttered Arleen under her breath, handing Titan to Rose and pulling out her phone. "But again, he is insane, so there's that."
They posed for pictures and were soon joined by J.J. and the food. They all three talked, ate, laughed, and took photos in front of the tree, unaware that they were being closely watched from out of the darkness...