Severus Snape was very confused, and somehow, the confusion seemed to be hurting him. Something had changed, something had shifted and now … now he was confused.
And it was Granger.
After he'd discovered Potter's fate, the betrayal, the shock, had been painful, but then… It had been the thought of that tiresome little Gryffindor losing her best friend that had troubled him. He was the one who would have to send Potter to his death. Him. And Granger … she loved Potter. He'd found he didn't want to look into her honest, amber eyes and know what he had to do to the boy, to her.
But then one day she'd just walked into his classroom, and warned him about Draco being watched.
'It's not about him, I'm trying to protect you.'
And she was, he'd been able to see it in her face. She'd wanted to protect him.
And it had sent a jolt of something warm and desperate through him because no one had ever wanted to protect him, but she did.
He'd tried to send her away, but she'd come back to him, her face apprehensive, and almost frightened, and it had been surprisingly unpleasant to see that emotion from her because … sometimes it's nice not to be feared.
Someone had overheard the conversation between himself and Dumbledore, and she'd refused to tell him who, not knowing, or not caring how pivotal information like that could be, and he'd… He'd grabbed her, instincts taking over, he'd … he'd grabbed her throat, and put his wand between her eyes, knowing that forcing the information out of her was entirely necessary. But she'd looked up at him, her eyes huge, her breathing rapid, but she hadn't tried to fight him, hadn't screamed… She'd still trusted him. He'd had his fucking hand around her throat and she'd still trusted him.
'Please don't.'
And he hadn't been able to. How could he? How could do that to her after everything that bloody girl had done for him.
She'd tried to reassure him then, even after what he'd just done to her, and she'd been concerned, and worried for him and it had made him feel weak, physically overwhelmed at her … her goodness, her loyalty. He didn't deserve it.
But then she'd put her hand on his back and he couldn't stand to be touched there. He just couldn't bear it and he hadn't seen it coming, hadn't been even slightly prepared and it hurt him like a physical blow and triggered a thousand horrendous memories. Anger, survival instinct had kicked in hard, he wasn't sure what he'd said, but he'd sent her running. The first time he'd actually managed to do so, and perhaps the first that he'd really wanted her to stay.
He collapsed back onto his desk when she'd gone, locking and warding the door from where he sat, and stared at his hand, the one that had been on her neck, and he'd hated that hand. It had been on her neck, her little neck. He could have snapped it so easily, and she trusted him.
She trusted him.
Granger had surprised him after that as well, she'd been a little more … tense, around him for a couple of days, but then everything had gone back to normal. They way she'd looked at him in the days after that encounter, he'd expected anger, fear, betrayal, but all he'd seen was understanding, empathy. The depths of her compassion was something he'd come to admire, and also fear … because it left him feeling entirely bewildered.
Time had moved on, and then in May he'd been Summoned and it had been … bad. Very bad. Severus had had to withhold information in favour of the Order and the Dark Lord had been angry. He'd lied, and gotten away with it once again, but at a cost. He'd been tortured. Bellatrix's curses were always the most painful. He was used to pain, but when it was Bellatrix, it was somehow much more traumatic, and continued to be, for much longer. When he'd finally been permitted to pull himself off the floor, his voice hoarse from his own screams, and leave, the first thought he'd had as he'd Apparated back to Hogwarts was that he longed for Granger to be there waiting for him. He'd stumbled through the gates, his body and mind in agony, and there she'd been. He'd been so desperately pleased, so pathetically grateful, it had made him angry, at her, at himself and his own weakness.
He'd shouted at her, his own outburst borne of confusion, and wrenching his Occlumency shields down as he'd landed had come close to torture; they'd been up so rigidly throughout the meeting. And Granger had flinched away from him. And that had been horrible to witness, and he'd fallen back against the gates, hating himself that little bit more than usual.
But she'd stayed.
He hadn't been able to see her, but he'd felt her come closer to him, and when she'd revealed herself he'd been so very pleased to see her there, in all her bushy haired, bookish glory, and he'd wanted her to … touch him, heal him.
He was an idiot.
'Have you forgotten how to cast Aguamenti, Miss Granger?' He'd asked her, caught somewhere between amusement and annoyance. And the bloody chit had almost fallen over herself to give it to him, such delicate concern written on her face.
And once again he'd tried to do the right thing and send her away, but then hot ice and freezing fire had rushed over his body and everything had threatened to go dark, and he'd been about to fall … and then Granger was there by his side. He'd fallen against her, and she'd managed to balance them both, her arm across him. As it had begun to pass, he'd looked down at her, and her face had been such a picture of worry and concern it had just left him breathless.
'It's okay, slowly.' She'd said, and he'd been able to do nothing but nod, and as she'd slipped her hand over the top of his Dark Mark, as if it somehow didn't matter, didn't mark him apart from the good people in the world, he'd just thanked Merlin, or God, or whoever, that there was someone in the world who gave a damn about him, and it was someone … someone like her.
But then she'd suddenly stopped walking, her eyes unfocused, her mouth hanging slack. And then she'd blushed.
'Are you well?' He'd asked, curious, but also desperate to be inside, in his rooms, home.
'Better than you are.' She'd answered, her mind very clearly elsewhere.
And he'd huffed out a laugh. Because it was very true. And somehow he very much doubted there was anyone else in the world that would have been able to make him laugh in such a situation, without even trying.
As they'd carried on walking, he'd decided to take her down the shortcut, which was known to only himself and Dumbledore. He doubted the headmaster would be very pleased to learn of his decision, but he'd been exhausted, and really, he had to admit to himself that he trusted the girl on some level. It was pretty obvious by this point. Insufferable woman.
Another wave of pain shook him as they neared the bottom of the slope, and Granger pulled softly on his hand, and settled herself on the floor. What could he do but join her? As the pain had increased, she'd edged closer to him, and then warmth had flared along his arm and up to his shoulder as she'd pressed against him. When he'd looked down at her, and she'd looked up at him, her face filled with worry, he'd noticed again, the gentle beauty of that bushy hair, her dark, curved brows, the light dusting of freckles along her nose and the elegance of her jaw line. Her nose was straight, and gave her an air of grace, as did her full lips and glowing cheeks. She was not exceptional, as Lily had been, there was a certain clumsiness about her, but she had a beauty all of her own, and a deep wisdom, something that went beyond books and hard work, something instinctive, and it added to her appeal.
Her hand had moved slowly towards his face, he'd braced himself, and then her fingers were on his cheek, they were so gentle, so soft, and he'd looked away from her, fighting to stop a flush from erupting on his face, afraid of what else he might see in the moonlight. She'd stroked her fingers down his cheek, to his jaw line and then pulled away, and he'd had to suppress a shiver as her fingers had brushed against his stubble. Then Granger had smiled at him. An open, honest smile that lit up her whole face and something had kicked hard against his chest as their fingers had entwined once more, and though he relished every touch, every gesture, every smile she gave him, he hated it too, and hated himself for giving her so much power over him.
Severus had tried once again to send her away when they reached his rooms, but she'd … sort of, fallen into him, her hands had come to rest on his arms and she'd been so very close… And then … her eyes had gotten somehow bigger, her mouth slightly open, she'd inhaled, and… It had felt like the air around them was thick and charged with uncontrolled magic, it had become hard to breath, and her eyes had scorched his, burning him, marking him. There'd been a slight flush to her cheeks, her eyes hooded, and something was nagging at the back of his mind… Granger's eyes had darted to his mouth, and a sudden fire had ripped through his veins, igniting every single fibre in his body as he'd realised, with utter certainty that bewildered and excited him, that Granger had been … aroused.
And then she'd licked her lips, her full, pink lips and something inside of him had threatened to burst, he'd been completely consumed by the moment, by the look on her face.
'Please.' She'd whispered, her voice low and breathy and oh god … it had sent a surge of want through him… But then reality had caught up, and he'd closed his eyes, stabilised himself, and reluctantly stepped away, and let her into his rooms.
Hermione Granger was his pupil, she was 20 years his junior, she was good, and he'd been … he'd wanted…
It didn't matter. She was Hermione Granger and she wouldn't have the slightest interest in him, no matter what he'd thought he saw in her face. And it wasn't as if … he didn't… Lily. It was Lily. He'd just been weak and vulnerable and stupid in that moment. He'd tricked himself into thinking … it didn't matter.
It didn't.
But she'd been disappointed as she'd entered his rooms, sat herself on his armchair. She had been.
As he'd settled himself in his chair, his mind in disarray, a pain beyond pain had suddenly ripped through his body, his bones had felt like they were burning, his stomach was ice, it had felt like he was going to rip in two along his Dark mark, his body had been shaking with the force of it… And then it was over, leaving him weak and exhausted and fearful.
He'd been able to hear Granger's breathing with his eyes shut, and then he'd felt in on his face as she moved closer, and he'd kept his eyes shut, even as she'd pressed a glass of water to his lip. After what had happened … he just … he didn't know what he might see.
Severus had been vaguely aware of a droplet of water running down his chin, but he was far from caring, but then Granger had wiped it away, and his eyes had flown open, but he hadn't pulled away from her, he hadn't wanted to. But he'd had to draw the line when she'd made to wipe his sweaty face with a damp cloth, while the thought that she would do that for him was something that touched even his blackened heart, he just couldn't allow himself, or her, that much liberty. She'd remained undeterred, just as she always did, and started unbuttoning his sleeves, and behaving exactly the same even when the bottom of that cursed mark became visible. But then she'd moved to the buttons of his collar, and again it had been too much, but his hands had been shaking too much to do it himself, and he couldn't deny he'd be more comfortable with them undone, but he would never, ever have asked her. And she'd just done it, gently moving her hands towards him.
'Two.' He'd said, unable to face the prospect of letting her in any further. A slight look of confusion had crossed her face, before comprehension dawned.
'Two.' She'd agreed, and he'd let her undo his buttons, and she'd only undone two. Somehow the two of them had begun to understand each other; she knew when to push, and when to allow him to have his own way. He wondered if she was even aware that she'd become dangerously good at reading him.
He sighed. Hermione Granger was dangerous indeed. And a part of him couldn't help but think of where their … understanding … would go, how far it would grow, if only he didn't have to kill Dumbledore, if only they could carry on as they were…
But it was pointless. He had to kill Dumbledore and that was that. And besides, she was … well.
It didn't matter.
He wasn't aware of falling asleep, but when he woke in the morning, stiff and sore but warm, covered in another of Granger's giant blanket, he'd been unable to stop the smallest of smiles from breaking on his face, especially when he'd noticed his shoes were off.
That girl.
But then he'd thought of the implications of allowing himself to be so vulnerable around her. He sighed. He couldn't deny he trusted her.
He'd stood, his body protesting to the movement, and then he'd noticed her note.
'I hope you feel better, Professor Snape.'
That note was inside a book in the draw of his bedside table now.
Severus had had a chance to recover after everything that had happened that night, and for that he was grateful. But then Potter had tried to kill Draco and everything had just … dissolved into chaos.
When he'd run into that bathroom, the weight of his chest almost suffocating him, and he'd seen Draco lying there… It had been … terrible. His Occlumency shields had come snapping up, and they were probably the only reason he'd managed to do what was necessary, and not kill Potter afterwards.
But the calm, the apathy they provided, he didn't long for it when he was going without, but once they were employed they became the norm. A less volatile norm, a norm that wasn't painful or traumatic or lonely, and with everything that had happened, and everything had he was faced with… He'd just left them up. It made it easier to leave Draco alone and pale in that Hospital bed, to speak with his Mother, to accept the fact that the worst that could be done to Potter was detention, while if the boys' positions had been reversed, Draco would have been expelled and probably facing a criminal trial.
And then he'd started drinking. He hadn't had the chance to get as drunk as he would have liked, before that little chit started hammering incessantly on his door, barged her way into his quarters. His shields had still been up, so he'd felt nothing at seeing her, except marginal annoyance. And Granger had had yet more questions for him. She'd looked panic stricken when she'd realised he'd almost died, her face pale and her hands shaking, but instead of finding it stunning, and endearing as he undoubtedly would have had the circumstances been different, he'd just found it annoying, and hadn't believed in her sincerity.
He'd been angry. He always had so much anger at his disposal when he was Occluding, a lifetime of it, which was good, but in that moment, with Granger coming to check on him, and stirring emotions in his chest, it had just made him so angry. He'd wanted control back, desperately, he'd been willing to get it in any way. And then she'd been up against the wall, and he'd been livid, and somehow fearful, which had only served to make him angrier, and she'd touched his chest. Another area he just couldn't bear to be touched. He'd grabbed her hands and pinned them to the wall automatically as the adrenaline pumped through him, and his other hand had flown to his wand and he'd been furious. Intoxicatingly, dangerously furious. But he'd seen genuine, undiluted fear on her face then, recognised it as only a Death Eater could, and it had sent something painful through his shields, just for a moment, but it was enough to make him pause.
'Professor Snape, please let go.' She'd sounded so calm, so polite.
'It's only me, you can stop now.'
Something had tickled in the back of his mind. It was only Granger, she knew … a lot … about him. She could be trusted… Only it's so hard to trust with such powerful shields in place, only letting the very worst through.
'You're better than this. You're a good man. I know you are.'
Another jolt of pain had made its way through his shields. He'd had one of his students pinned up against the wall with a wand in her face, and she'd been telling him he was a good person.
Only Granger.
Her face had opened up, and he'd seen the trust she had for him, still in her eyes, even after all he'd done.
'Severus.'
His name, whispered from her mouth had almost been enough to break his Occlumency walls altogether.
Almost.
He'd wanted to run from her then, but something deep inside had told him to stay.
And she hadn't run.
Severus was still bewildered by what had happened next.
He'd told her he didn't want to remove his shields and she'd looked at him with her huge, honest eyes, her face a picture of empathy, despite what he'd done to her, and said, 'I'll stay.'
And she'd stayed.
She'd stayed with him, stroked his horrible hair, his ugly face, and he'd told her everything. Because how could he could do anything else? She'd stayed, cleaned him, and he'd felt as if he was utterly naked before her.
'May I?' She'd asked, as she pulled out her wand, and though a bolt of hot, old fear had shot through him, he'd nodded. Because he was a fool, and he trusted that girl.
And then everything had caught up to him and he'd fallen into something along the lines of a panic attack, and that brave, foolish little Gryffindor had taken his hands, pulled him close to her. He'd been acutely aware of her thigh, pressed along his, and though it had made him hot around his neck, it had been something else to focus on, and that had been welcome.
She'd kissed his head.
Granger had literally bent forward, and kissed the top of his head.
It had been something so tender, so innocent, and had shocked him so thoroughly he'd been completely unable to do … anything. Anything but sit there and be shocked and humbled and completely undone by her. And he'd just fallen against her, and once again she'd taken his weight, held the both of them up, and he'd been surrounded by her solidness, her warmth, the smell of something wonderful.
He'd come back to himself slowly, and waited for the prickle of humiliation to run over his body, but it hadn't. He'd felt awkward and unsure… But not humiliated. And he had no idea why.
Then the girl had summoned his house elf and ordered them both hot chocolates as if the whole thing was rather common place. She always just seemed to take everything in her stride.
'Will you be ok, Professor?'
He had to murder the head of the Order of the Phoenix, his boss, and one of the few people he had any respect for. He had to do that. And soon.
'I don't have a choice.' He'd answered, and Granger's face had turned sad, and she'd looked away from him. And he'd missed her eyes.
She'd fallen asleep soon after, and he'd been able to do nothing but stare at her peaceful, sleeping face and wonder how on Earth this had ever come about. Gryffindor's little princess asleep in his rooms, her trust of him seemed endless, for now at least, and he… He had come to care about her, the insufferable know-it-all, more than he would ever care to admit. She was so very brave, so endlessly patient, she forgave him without even realising what she was doing.
And she was just … sleeping. In the rooms of the hated Potions Master. But more than that, in the rooms of a man she knew to be a Death Eater. But she trusted him anyway.
Time slipped away as he stared at her, then quite suddenly her face had twisted and she'd started muttering. He'd stood, and was by her side in an instant, completely bewildered as to what he should do. And then she'd started screaming.
'I DO CARE!'
'Miss Granger!'
Tears had been streaming down her face, her arms were thrashing, he'd grabbed on to them.
'I DO CARE!'
'Miss Granger!'
'I DO!' She'd sobbed.
'Miss Granger!'
'I DO CARE ABOUT YOU!'
Something had suddenly gripped his heart like a fist.
'I KNOW YOU DO!' He'd shouted… And her eyes had snapped open, they'd come into focus on his face, and the relief he'd seen … it had been absolute.
She'd turned away from him then, and he'd reluctantly released her, watching with an unfamiliar emotion playing out on his chest as she tried to stop crying, wanting to do … something.
He'd taken a leaf from her book and conjured a glass of water, feeling secretly rather pleased with himself as she'd taken it gratefully.
'Have you been to sleep yet Professor?' She'd asked, and he'd frowned as he'd realised he hadn't even considered going to sleep; he'd been far too preoccupied with … her.
'No.'
'Why?'
'I was watching you sleep.' He'd answered honestly.
'Oh.'
She'd blushed then, the pink erupting on her cheeks and puzzling him completely.
'I… I'm sorry I fell asleep.'
'You have nothing to apologise for.' He answered quickly, a familiar bubble of self hatred arising hotly in this chest. 'I let you in, I keep letting you in, I keep letting you … stay. This is my fault.'
'What's your fault?' She'd whispered.
'This.' He'd said, gesturing in front of him. 'You.'
'Me?' She'd said, a frown marring her face.
'Yes. You being … here.'
'Is my being here a bad thing?'
This mind screamed that it wasn't, that her being there was a wonderful thing, and he was so grateful.
'Yes.' He'd said heavily.
'Why?'
His mind had struggled to grab onto something, because although her being with him was unfamiliar and scary it just felt … right.
'It's not … it's… It's just not appropriate.' He'd said.
'Not appropriate?! This war isn't appropriate. People being killed, tortured, that's not appropriate. You being a teacher by day and a spy by night! That's not appropriate. A mad man with no nose trying to murder by best friend isn't appropriate!'
Granger had looked so passionate throughout her little speech, her arms gesticulating, her eyes alight. If the Dark Lord ever knew there was a muggleborn out there referring to him as a mad man with no nose… And he'd laughed. What else was there to do? Granger certainly didn't seem like she was going to be perturbed by anything at this point. Until he … well, what he had to do could wait for now.
He'd looked at her then, looked at her without monitoring his facial expression in the slightest, and a rush of warm affection had run through him as he'd taken in her fiery, surprised, delicate face.
'To bed, Miss Granger. I shall escort you to Gryffindor tower.'
'Can I stay?' He'd had to fight a smile then, after everything that had happened, the girl wanted to stay. The Princess of Gryffindor.
'No. No I think you've done enough for one night. Come.' He'd said, finally feeling stable enough to do what needed to be done. She certainly shouldn't stay overnight with him. And after everything that had happened between them… He'd needed his space once again. He'd needed to return to some semblance of normality. Besides, her falling asleep, or him falling asleep was once thing, but actually giving her permission to stay… That was another thing entirely.
When they'd reached the corridor to Granger's common room, her face had turned melancholy, and she'd looked up at him, her gaze heated and intense and beautiful, and he'd been unable to look away for a long time.
'Be careful.' She'd said, her voice low and he'd had to suppress a shiver of … something.
'You too.' He'd answered, realising for the first time that soon, no where would be safe, especially not for this little Gryffindor, not even Hogwarts.
She'd smiled at him again then, and he'd hurt in the knowledge of what was to come, and what it would mean for Granger. He'd reached up to touch her arm, his heart hammering in his chest, but just before he'd made contact, ancient insecurities and modern improprieties had plagued his mind, and his hand had flopped uselessly back down to his side. Coward.
How he'd longed to touch her.
But then he'd just run.
And now he had to deal with Potter's detention.
Another generation, another Gryffindor getting detention for almost killing a Slytherin.
At least he could make it as unpleasant as possible.
*"Ah, Potter," he said, as the boy entered. "Mr. Filch has been looking for someone to clear out these old files. They are the records of other Hogwarts wrongdoers and their punishments. Where the ink has grown faint, or the cards have suffered damage from mice, we would like you to copy out the crimes and punishments afresh and, making sure that they are in alphabetical order, replace them in the boxes. You will not use magic."
"Right, Professor," said Potter, with as much contempt as he could put into the last three syllables.
"I thought you could start," he said, a malicious smile on his lips, "with boxes one thousand and twelve to one thousand and fifty-six. You will find some familiar names in there, which should add interest to the task. Here, you see ..."
He pulled out a card from one of the topmost boxes with a flourish and read, "James Potter and Sirius Black. Apprehended using an illegal hex upon Bertram Aubrey. Aubrey's head twice normal size. Double detention." Severus sneered. "It must be such a comforting thing that, though they are gone, a record of their great achievements remains."*
Quite satisfying, Potter flushed red and looked about ready to explode. Good.
Over the next few hours his thoughts drifted between Granger and Potter. There had to be something decent about the boy, or Granger would surely not be friends with him… But then she obviously had some extremely bad taste seeing as she seemed to desire spending time with him. He sighed. Potter had to die. Much as he hated the arrogant teenage boy sitting before him, he didn't deserve to die.
The time was punctuated with Potter abruptly pausing, his face paling, before he took a deep breath and continued. Good. Seeing the names of his father and godfather on paper, accompanied by their various idiotic and cruel misdeeds was the least he should suffer for what he did to Draco.
*"I think that will do," Severus said coldly at just gone 1 o'clock. "Mark the place you have reached. You will continue at ten o'clock next Saturday."
"Yes, sir." Said Potter, and bolted from the room.*
About half an hour later there was a knock on his door, frowning to himself, he went to answer it.
And there stood Granger, bushy-haired as usual, but her lip was caught between her teeth and she looked edgy. Sighing, he wordlessly let her inside and shut and warded the door behind her.
She looked at him in silence, fidgeting, and a knot of unease formed in his stomach.
"Well?"
She jumped slightly at his voice.
"Sir, I've been thinking…"
"That comes as a huge shock to me, Miss Granger." He answered with a sneer.
She smiled very briefly then, causing a tiny pool of warmth to form in the very bottom of his stomach.
"It's about what happened with Malfoy."
He looked away from her then, what had happened somehow seemed embarrassing to talk about.
"You nearly died." She said, and he waited in silence for her to continue. "I've been worrying about something bad happening to you for ages, wanting to formulate some sort of … I don't know … insurance policy maybe. But after what happened, well, it seemed more urgent."
He said nothing, his mind working furiously.
"I've had an idea of what to do for a while, and now I think I've done it, I'm not completely sure though, I've spent hours working on it, but I thought I should give it to you as soon as possible."
"Give me… What?" He asked, looking back at her and taking in her nervous expression.
"This." She said, thrusting a hand into a pocket and pulling out… A pocket watch?
His reached out and took it automatically as she handed it to him.
"A pocket-watch, Miss Granger?"
"Yes. Only I've charmed it … a lot. When you, or anyone else opens it, it's just a pocket-watch, but if you open it, and then Engorgio it - only you, I can spell it to only respond to your voice - then utter a password – we'll need to come up with one – then it becomes a mirror. And if you speak my name into the mirror …"
She thrust her hand into another pocket and pulled out a muggle compact mirror.
"Then this will grow warm. Then when it's safe to do so, I can go through the same procedure – only me, I've already charmed this one to be specific to my voice – then we'll be able to communicate."
His mouth opened in surprise, presumably to say … something… But she held up a hand and quickly continued.
"It's not just that, I know it may not always be possible to talk properly, so you can just speak the password, put your wand to it, and think a message, and mine will grow warm, I can utter the password, then read whatever you've put on the mirror, it will fade after a few minutes of me opening it. It works the other way round too, so I can speak or write to you – the writing will come up as an engraving on the lid of the watch. It's a variation of the Protean Charm.
"I know it probably won't be of any use, and this will be pointless and we'll never use it, and I don't even know what's happening next year, if we'll even be here, and what will happen after you have to do this terrible thing, but … it's better than nothing. And if you're in trouble, really in trouble, and I can help – I know I probably wouldn't be able to, I'm not being narcissistic – but if I can, well I'm better than no one, and I'd want to be able to help. Take it. Please."
He nodded numbly, completely shocked by the thought that had gone into this. A large part of his brain was screaming at him to throw it back in her face, because after he'd killed Dumbledore, she'd never, ever want to help him, she'd throw it away, or use it to try and help catch him, and it would be … hell… But he ignored that part of him, because he couldn't pretend that he wasn't touched by this. It was … genius. An innocuous object that no one would think twice of if discovered, that would respond only to him, that gave him a way to communicate with her.
"We … we need to think of a password then." She said hesitantly, a dull flush on her cheeks.
His mind went blank.
"Aguamenti." He said suddenly.
A slightly embarrassed smile erupted onto Granger's face, and she nodded.
"Okay." She bent forwards slightly and opened the watch in his hand, he tried hard not to notice her proximity. "Say it when I nod." She said, pulling her wand out.
After a serious of complex wand movements Severus might have had greater interest in if he hadn't been focused on just how close the girl was to him, she nodded.
"Aguamenti." He said, suddenly nervous.
A white light with flecks of deep purple formed a short way from his mouth, and slowly descended into the object in his palm, making the whole thing glow for a few seconds.
"Oh that was beautiful." Said Granger breathlessly.
He found himself inexplicably embarrassed.
"Is it done then?" He snapped.
"Yes." She answered calmly. "I'll just finish the password for mine."
She pulled out her mirror once more, without stepping back from him, and did another series of wand movements.
"Aguamenti." She said softly, and a bright gold light with swirls of dark red appeared before her, making her face glow and her eyes shine.
Beautiful.
And then it descended into her mirror in much the same way.
"Done." Said Granger, the smallest of frowns on her face. "I thought you'd put up much more of a fight."
He looked quickly away from her then, cross with himself for not putting up more of a fight. But… This gave him a way of keeping in contact if there was the slightest chance of her … realising… But that train of thought was dangerous and pointless. She wouldn't not realise. She must not realise. He'd just agreed to shut her up; that was all…
If he was worried about inappropriateness before…
"So how are you?"
"That is none of your business."
She shrugged.
"I'm fine." He answered stiffly.
"Really fine, or fine considering everything that's happened?"
Bloody girl.
"The latter."
She nodded, her face once again filled with empathy that only made him feel uncomfortable, and undeserving.
"Will you have to do the terrible thing soon?"
"Granger!" There was a wealth of warning in his voice but it didn't seem to have any effect on her.
"Not knowing is making me so on edge! Can't you just tell me?"
"No. Now stop asking your questions you insufferable girl."
But there was a stubbornness to her face that made him uneasy.
"Will I know when you've done it?"
It felt like someone suddenly dropped a lead weight inside him.
"Yes." He answered slowly, dread coursing through his veins once again. "You will undoubtedly know."
"And there's really no other option?"
A thousand other options ran through his brain, each as hopeless as the next.
"No."
"And there's really nothing I can do?"
Something painful kicked in his chest.
"No."
"I'm sorry." She said softly, and he shook his head.
She reached out her hands and his breath caught in his throat … and then she was holding his arms. Her hands seemed to scorch him even through his clothes, he dropped his head but she bent forwards, angling herself to look at his face and their eyes locked together, amber against black and suddenly everything threatened to overwhelm him.
"Go." He said raggedly, his face hot.
Granger instantly opened her mouth to protest.
"No." He said quickly. "Go. Leave me."
Still neither one of them had broken eye contact, still she hadn't pulled away, and there was something fiery growing in her face as he looked at it, and once again it became hard to breath.
"GRANGER GET OUT!" He shouted, but though she flinched back slightly, she still didn't move away from him.
"Please go." He whispered desperately. And her eyes flickered closed for a moment. She squeezed his arms tightly, and then she stepped back from him, and he could breathe a little easier.
"You take care." She said softy, her voice a little hoarse.
And then she was gone, and he sunk heavily onto his desk, still holding tightly onto his pocket-watch.
Another chapter in less than a week ;)
A warning though; I have midterm exams this week and next so it will be at least two weeks before I post another chapter. I should imagine I'll go into a bit of a writing coma after my last exam to celebrate so hopefully it won't be much longer than that :)
I feel at this point that I should highlight the rating of this story - it's 'M' for a reason - obviously we've still got a way to go but here will be some serious sex scenes so mature readers only, and if you're easily offended it may be best to stop reading ;) You've been warned.
Lastly there's this song by Jasmine Thompson called "Drop Your Guard" - from the first moment I heard it I've always associated with a Snape/Hermione relationship, not specifically this story, I just think it captures the two of them. The lyric video, not the music video. So check it out if you have some free time - it's beautiful.
"Run" by her is a bit of a Snermione song to me too, but to a lesser extent.
Thanks for reading and supporting my lil story - this has honestly just been one of the most fun and rewarding things I've ever done.
vaila - Hahaha thank you - glad you liked this one too, I have to say I'd quite like to be able to suspend time between them so they could just carry on like this - but canon calls ;) I've wanted this to be a story of equals, which is why I've often put them in situations that allow for Hermione to be more of an equal to Snape, but in the last chapter I thought it had become necessary to show that Snape was equal too - that's why I reversed their usual positions. Very happy you think that bit worked. I'm glad you had a good birthday, and you obviously have excellent taste in fanfics ;) x
mundy - thank youuuuu, I'm pleased the Dumbledore chapter is clearer now - bit silly including something if no one understand what I mean! ;) Hermione is definitely making excellent progress these days ;) Thanks for another lovely review x
Angel-sama - Yay thank youuuuuu.