Hermione Granger was happy for Harry and Ginny. Very happy. Very happy and not at all jealous. Nope. Not at all.

*"You'd think people had better things to gossip about," said Ginny, as she sat on the common-room floor, leaning against Harry's legs and reading the Daily Prophet. "Three Dementor attacks in a week, and all Romilda Vane does is ask me if it's true you've got a Hippogriff tattooed across your chest."

Ron and Hermione both roared with laughter.

"What did you tell her?" Said Harry.

"I told her it's a Hungarian Horntail," said Ginny, turning a page of the newspaper idly. "Much more macho."

"Thanks," said Harry, grinning. "And what did you tell her Ron's got?'"

"A Pygmy Puff, but I didn't say where."*

The fact that they were so good together, and so happy almost made it worse. Snape… He wasn't like that, he wasn't funny and boyish and innocent like Harry – not that she wanted him to be but… Was she never to have a normal teenage relationship? She didn't want one, she wanted him, but the chances of that happening…. And even if it could it would never be easy, never be normal…. Hermione sighed.

It was a Sunday and it had been just over 3 weeks since she'd given her Potions Professor his pocket watch. Just over 3 weeks since she'd last been alone with him. Just over 3 weeks since his eyes had turned fiery and heavy and he'd sent her away with a whispered plea.

She sighed again. She was sure there was … something between them. She was sure. Only… only she wasn't sure at all. It was all so confusing.

Hermione slipped out of the portrait hole once again and made her way out into the castle grounds, selecting a particularly secluded spot a long way from the castle, and casting privacy spells just to be safe. She bit her lip, and pulled out her compact mirror. Taking a deep breath, she Engorgio-ed it to be large enough to reflect her whole face, whispered the password – Snape's choice had been almost … sweet – and then hesitantly she called

"Severus Snape."

It seemed like a long time before anything happened. Then quite suddenly her apprehensive face staring back at her disappeared, to be replaced by Snape's angry face, greasy hair, large nose, sallow cheeks and all. Her stomach did a backflip.

"Hi."

"Miss Granger." He said stiffly.

"I … uh … just thought I should check these work."

"And what conclusion have you come to?"

She huffed out a surprised laugh.

"Well I wouldn't want to make hasty assumptions sir, but they seem to be working quite well."

"Indeed."

A heavy silence settled between them. Snape had obviously been keeping his pocket watch on him. A slight blush forced its way onto her cheeks.

"How are you?" She asked hesitantly.

Snape sighed. "You sound like a broken record, girl."

Hermione frowned, thinking again of the ease with which Harry and Ginny spoke,

"I'm well enough, Granger."

"Thank you." She answered with a smile.

"What on earth for?"

"Answering."

He rolled his eyes.

"I think this little experiment is complete."

"Wait!" She called anxiously.

He glared at her.

"What?"

"I … umm. I don't know… I just… How's Malfoy?"

"He's made a complete recovery." He said slowly, looking at her with an odd expression on his face.

"Good."

A silence settled between them again.

"Miss Granger I have things to do. How do I end this ridiculous conversation?"

She ignored the sting of his words.

"Cast 'finite incantatem'." She answered slowly. "But sir, it's getting nearer to the end of term…"

"Your observation skills outstand me."

She ignored him.

"Promise you'll be careful. Please."

Snape gave her a long, heavy look and she found herself holding her breath.

"I always am, Granger. I promise." He said quietly, his voice almost gentle.

And then he was gone and she was staring at her own flushed and anxious face.

It's funny how quickly everything can dissolve into utter madness.

She returned from the library one ordinary evening to be informed by Ron that Harry had been summoned urgently to Dumbledore's office. They sat anxiously together waiting for his return.

He came bolting into the common room a short while later, his face pale but set. And then he told them where he was going with the Headmaster, and why. And suddenly everything seemed to go cold around her. Harry was going hunting for Horcruxes with Dumbledore.

*"... so you see what this means?" Harry finished at a gallop. "Dumbledore won't be here tonight, so Malfoy's going to have another clear shot at whatever he's up to. No, listen to me!" he hissed angrily, as both she and Ron went to interrupt. "I know it was Malfoy celebrating in the Room of Requirement. Here - " He shoved the Marauder's Map into Hermione's hand. "You've got to watch him and you've got to watch Snape, too. Use anyone else who you can rustle up from the DA. Hermione, those contact Galleons will still work, right? Dumbledore says he's put extra protection in the school, but if Snape's involved, he'll know what Dumbledore's protection is, and how to avoid it - but he won't be expecting you lot to be on the watch, will he?"

"Harry -" she began, her eyes huge with fear.

"I haven't got time to argue," said Harry curtly. "Take this as well-"

"Thanks," said Ron. "Er - why do I need socks?"

"You need what's wrapped in them, it's the Felix Felicis. Share it between yourselves and Ginny too. Say goodbye to her from me. I'd better go, Dumbledore's waiting - "

"No!" said Hermione, as Ron unwrapped the tiny little bottle of golden potion, looking awestruck. "We don't want it, you take it, who knows what you're going to be facing?"

"I'll be fine, I'll be with Dumbledore," said Harry. "I want to know you lot are OK ... don't look like that, Hermione, I'll see you later."

And then he was off.*

Her and Ron activated the D.A coins in silence. It was only Neville and Luna who responded. And together they formed some sort of a plan, all sharing a sip of the lucky potion between them. Malfoy was not showing up on the map, so Ginny, Ron and Neville went to keep watch outside the Room of Requirement, while she and Luna stood guard outside Snape's office. The whole thing made her extremely uncomfortable; something wasn't right, that much was obvious … but she trusted Snape.

They seemed to be standing there a long time, for once Luna was silent and watchful. Hermione wished she could go inside and just talk to Snape, but she didn't dare with the Ravenclaw by her side. It was around midnight that Flitwick came hurtling towards them, shouting about Death Eaters. It was just shock and confusion and fear, and then there was a thump, and Snape came rushing out, his face wild.

"Go and tend to Flitwick, he's collapsed." He said, and while there seemed nothing out of the ordinary with his demeanour, Hermione knew something was terribly wrong and a crippling fear tore at her chest.

"I must go and fight."

Hermione barely even noticed that Luna had run into Snape's office in search of her head of house, she had eyes only for the man in front of her. He wasn't looking at her.

"You're shielding."

"Yes." He answered emotionlessly. "I must go."

As he turned away from her she grabbed his arm.

"Sir, what's happening?" She asked desperately.

"This is not the time you stupid girl!" He shouted, and then she realised something that almost made her weep.

Snape was scared.

And then she was standing almost underneath him, one hand still on his arm, one touching his cheek and then pushing his hair back.

"Whatever it is, whatever's happening … you take care of yourself Professor." She whispered, her voice choked with tears, although why exactly she wasn't sure.

He nodded wordlessly, and one of his hands came up to her face, and stroked her cheek ever so gently, then moved slowly down to her chin… And then he was running, and Hermione couldn't breathe.

Death Eaters in the castle. HOW?! Severus Snape wordlessly stunned Flitwick, and rushed out into the corridor. And there was that ridiculous Lovegood girl and … Granger. He strengthened his shields up another notch; there was no time for … her … now. For a few hours now he'd had the tight awareness of the Vow crawling over him, not almost choking him like last time, just enough strength to make him on edge. But now he knew why; this had to be part of Draco's plan. Perhaps tonight was the night… He upped his shields another notch.

"Go and tend to Flitwick, he's collapsed." He said calmly. "I must go and fight."

He could feel Granger's eyes burning into him, but he refused to look at her.

"You're shielding." She said, her voice worried.

"Yes." He answered emotionlessly. "I must go."

As he turned away from her she grabbed his arm.

"Sir, what's happening?" She asked desperately.

"This is not the time you stupid girl!" He shouted, as adrenaline coursed through his veins, tonight was the night…

And then she was standing almost underneath him, one hand still on his arm, one touching his cheek and then pushing his hair back, and it… It hurt him.

"Whatever it is, whatever's happening … you take care of yourself Professor." She whispered, the voice choked with tears, almost as if she knew, she understood, she'd still be there … after….

But of course she wouldn't, she couldn't be. She'd turn on him just like everyone else. It was how it had to be.

He nodded wordlessly, but then one of his hands seemed to move of its own accord, it came up to her face, and stroked her cheek ever so gently, and her skin was so soft and beautiful, his hand moved slowly down to her chin… And then he was running. Running as fast as he could towards the battle, not daring to slow down, or look behind him, because how could he ever do what must be done if he saw the expression on Granger's face again?

He pushed his shields up rigidly then, put them in place as forcefully as was possible. His weaker emotions were gone. He was calm. He was ready.

The scene that met him at the bottom of the Astronomy Tower was utter chaos. The corridor was alight with flashes of red, green, orange. The Order was fighting fiercely, but the Death Eaters were fighting ruthlessly, brutally, ready to die if it was necessary. But there was no time for that now. The Vow was pulling him up the stairs, towards Draco. As he ascended he felt the ripple of a barrier tingle around him, focusing its intensity on his Dark Mark, and he knew once again that he was being separated from all the Good in the world, but indefinitely this time, just as he'd had the smallest of inklings when he'd first earned the right to have the skull and the snake forever burned into him.

He burst through the door and quickly took in the scene. Draco was white as a sheet, his wand raised at Dumbledore, but shaking badly, as Alecto, Amycus, Yaxley and Greyback leered over him. And there was the Headmaster himself, slumped against the wall, pale and weak. What had happened?

*"We've got a problem, Snape," said Amycus, whose eyes and wand were fixed alike upon Dumbledore, "the boy doesn't seem able - "

But somebody else had spoken his name, quite softly.

"Severus ..."

It was Dumbledore, and he was … frightened. Pleading.

And then suddenly there was so much hatred pounding through him in that moment. And it was good. It was necessary. After everything … everything he'd done everything he'd suffered … the old man still didn't trust him to do what was necessary.

"Severus ... please ..."

It was one of the only times he could ever recall the headmaster ever, ever saying please to him.

He raised his wand and pointed it directly at Dumbledore.

"Avada Kedavra!"

A jet of green light shot from the end of his wand and hit Dumbledore squarely in the chest. Dumbledore was blasted into the air: for a split second he seemed to hang suspended beneath the shining skull, and then he fell slowly backwards, like a great rag doll, over the battlements and out of sight.*

And Severus felt … nothing.

It was done now. And that was good.

Now he had to try and protect the school…

*"Out of here quickly." He said harshly, and seized Draco by the scruff of the neck and forced him through the door ahead of the rest.

"It's over, time to go!" He shouted as he rounded the corner at the far end of the corridor. He could only hope they would listen. He was most definitely in favour these days … but that didn't make him popular. But he needed to get himself and Draco away from Hogwarts.

And so they ran, he could hear the sounds of the battle behind him but they were fading, he hoped because the Death Eater's were leaving. Around the castle students were waking from their beds, there were huddles of them in corridors, looking at him with wide eyes as he ran. The Death Eaters would leave them alone though.

Greyback.

His stomach flipped.

But Greyback had his orders. He knew to leave. He wouldn't dare disobey someone as high in the ranks as himself…

They were almost at the gates, almost away, when a shot of red light soared past him.

"Run, Draco!" He shouted, and turned. Twenty yards apart, he and Potter looked at each other before raising their wands simultaneously.

The look on Potter's face … he knew what had happened?

The second broomstick … of course.

"Cruc - "

But he parried the curse, knocking Potter backward off his feet before he could complete it.

"Cruc - " yelled Potter for the second time, aiming for the figure ahead illuminated in the dancing firelight, but Severus blocked the spell again.

"No Unforgivable Curses from you, Potter!" he shouted. "You haven't got the nerve or the ability - "

"Incarc - " Potter roared, but he deflected the spell with an almost lazy flick of his arm.

"Fight back!" He screamed at him. "Fight back, you cowardly - "

"Coward, did you call me, Potter?" Severus shouted. "Your father would never attack me unless it was four on one, what would you call him, I wonder?"

"Stupe - "

"Blocked again and again and again until you learn to keep your mouth shut and your mind closed, Potter!" He sneered, deflecting the curse once more. "Now come!" he shouted at the Death Eater behind Potter. "It is time to be gone, before the Ministry turns up - "

"Impedi - "

But then Potter was under the Cruciartus, screaming and writhing in an agony Severus knew only too well.

"No!" He roared. "Have you forgotten our orders? Potter belongs to the Dark Lord - we are to leave him! Go! Go!"

Potter yelled and pulled himself off the ground.

"Sectum - "

For some reason, that spell on Potter's lips sent an anger so volatile and so powerful through him it was all he could do to keep it in check.

"No, Potter!" He screamed. There was a loud BANG and the boy was soaring backward, hitting the ground hard again, and this time his wand flew out of his hand.

He looked down at the Gryffindor before him and hated with every fibre in his being, pain making its way through his shields for the first time.

"You dare use my own spells against me, Potter? It was I who invented them - I, the Half-Blood Prince! And you'd turn my inventions on me, like your filthy father, would you? I don't think so . . . no!"

Potter had dived for his wand; he shot a hex at it and it flew feet away into the darkness and out of sight.

"Kill me then," panted Potter, those green eyes blazing. "Kill me like you killed him, you coward - "

And then it really hurt. It really, really hurt. He'd done it, done something hideous and vile but completely necessary for the Order, for the light, and now he was being called a coward. By Potter. And those eyes, Lily's eyes willing him to die they were filled with so much hatred.

"DON'T CALL ME COWARD!" He screamed.

And unaware of what he was doing, he slashed at the air and Potter was slammed backward into the ground.

And then that cursed hippogriff flew at him, it's razor-sharp claws slashed at him ruthlessly. And he was running as hard as he could, the enormous beast flapping behind him and screeching.*

He turned into the darkness and fell to his knees outside Malfoy Manner. He kept his eyes closed tight as he ruthlessly quashed all unhelpful feelings, strengthening his Occlumency shields once more, then stood, calm and ready. He quickly passed his wand over the cuts made by Hagrid's beast.

"Draco?"

The boy was on his hands and knees on the floor, a pile of vomit besides him.

He Vanished it, and pulled him roughly to his feet.

"Look at me." He said, and Draco's terrified blue eyes came to rest on his face. "You've done well. You must be calm now. Pleased. Do you understand?"

The boy nodded, and when he released him, he was relieved to note a hint of the arrogance back in Draco's face. They walked up the grand entrance in silence, and made their way into the room the Dark Lord had set up as Headquarters.

He was sat on his throne like chair in the centre of the room, his red eyes flashing excitedly.

"Make your report Severus." He said softly, the beginnings of a smile on his lips.

"Draco found a way to allow my Brothers and Sisters into the castle, my Lord, a feat I myself believed to be impossible. They lured Dumbledore to the Astronomy Tower, when I entered, the old man was disarmed and completely defenceless, but that didn't make killing him any less enjoyable I can assure you." He allowed a twisted smile to play out on his face, and was rewarded by his Master's grin.

And then he was in Severus' mind, watching the events of the night unfold once again, pushing forward feelings of excitement, victory as he watched Dumbledore's crumpled body tumble off the tower.

The Dark Lord pulled out sharply and laughed his high pitched, chilling laugh.

"You have done well Severus, you have pleased me immensely. I shall take time thinking up the perfect reward for such a loyal Death Eater."

Severus bowed his lead humbly at the praise.

"And you boy," said the Dark Lord, turning to Draco. "you have done better than expected. But you did not succeed."

Draco's pale face turned paler, and he could sense Lucius' and Narcissa's fear.

"Would it please you to see the boy punished, Severus?"

"Whatever you choose to do with him would please me my Lord, but as you have said, he has done better than expected, and he is still young…"

"Wise as ever. Very well, today you shall not be punished Draco, count yourself lucky that your Head of House, holds you in higher esteem than I do."

"My Lord," said Severus softly, "I am still bound by the magic of the Unbreakable Vow, if I may be released?"

"Of course. Narcissa, Bellatrix, release my trusted servant."

And so it was done.

"And now, my Death Eaters," hissed the Dark Lord, "one of my most powerful enemies has been destroyed at my Severus' hand. We must begin our celebrations!"

Severus Snape had murdered Professor Dumbledore. And he was the one who told Voldemort about the Prophecy, leading to James and Lily's deaths. And Hermione Granger was heartbroken.

But how could this have happened?

*"It's not your fault," said Lupin firmly. "Hermione, had you not obeyed Snape and got out of the way, he probably would have killed you and Luna."*

But Hermione knew that Snape would never hurt her. She knew it with absolute certainly. Professor Snape would never hurt her. But then how could this have happened? How could he have killed Dumbledore? What was going to happen to the Order? To Harry?

'I will not betray the Order.' Snape's fierce words from months ago came floating back to her. But he had betrayed the Order. Hadn't he? Of course he had. He'd killed Professor Dumbledore.

There was hushed chatter as Harry left the Hospital Wing with McGonagall, but she and Ron excused themselves quite quickly and made their way back to the Common Room. She hugged Ron tightly before she made her way up to her room, falling onto her bed and dissolving into sobs that shook her whole body.

Dumbledore was dead.

Snape was gone.

And she was so confused.

The next few days were hell. *All lessons were suspended, all examinations postponed. Some students were hurried away from Hogwarts by their parents over the next couple of days - the Patil twins were gone before breakfast on the morning following Dumbledore's death and Zacharias Smith was escorted from the castle by his haughty-looking father. Seamus Finnigan, on the other hand, refused point-blank to accompany his mother home; they had a shouting match in the Entrance Hall which was resolved when she agreed that he could remain behind for the funeral.* Hermione found she had to keep dashing off to burst into tears, using the excuse of the Library and the hunt for R.A.B, when in reality she was so desperately confused and afraid it made her feel physically weak.

A large part of her still frantically trusted Snape, but how on earth was she supposed to justify that trust after what had happened?

But the terrible thing he had to do plagued her mind. But surely Dumbledore couldn't have wanted Snape to kill him? He'd had nothing ready, the Order of the Phoenix was flailing, Harry was … broken … and surely no one could ever ask something so dreadful?

But then there was the Vow to protect Malfoy. But surely protecting someone couldn't extend to killing for them?

Ugh.

It was so awful.

She'd taken to carrying her mirror in her bra, the feeling of it pressed against her chest was … comforting. She was simultaneously desperate for it to grow warm, and terribly afraid of it growing warm, unable to organise her thoughts in any way.

Packing up her room for the last time was something that she hadn't imagined would cause her so much pain. Hogwarts was her home. And now she had to leave. Really leave.

It was in the middle of Dumbledore's funeral that the answer came, it floated like a soft breeze straight into her head.

It was a beautiful summer's day. The lake glistened, the grass was perfectly green, the castle grounds smelled flowery.

Dumbledore's body made its way down the aisle draped in purple material and golden stars, supported by a weeping Hagrid. She didn't notice the tears falling thick and fast onto her lap.

Dumbledore was dead.

A small wizard was talking at the front, Hermione couldn't hear what he saying, but as the Merpeople broke the surface of the lake to listen, she knew what had happened.

Dumbledore's hand.

Snape's reaction to it.

The Vow to protect Malfoy.

The terrible thing for Dumbledore.

It had all been leading to this.

Dumbledore had made Snape kill him.

Some of the details she was sure were missing. Some parts still required an explanation. But Hermione trusted Snape. She had seen how much pain what he had had to do was causing him. He hadn't wanted this, but somehow, he'd had no choice.

And then she noticed the tears falling.

And then she felt the pain.

The pain of the loss of Dumbledore.

The pain of Snape's disappearance.

The pain of what Snape had had to do.

And Hermione Granger trusted Severus Snape.

We've made it through another book :')

I know there's quite a bit from the book but I wanted to show some of it from Snape's perspective - I know I show a different side to him and show his emotions and everything but I don't want him to come across as weak. That's why I showed the scene where he killed Dumbledore - despite the fact that he's human and gets sad and scared he's still incredibly brave and strong to live a double life and especially to kill Dumbledore.

Also I know this is a bit of a shorter chapter but it just finishes naturally at this point so I decided to roll with it :)

*Text in between asterisks* from Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - J.K Rowling.

Mundy - hahaha thank youuuu ;) Glad you like my plan - the pocket watch and the mirror will come in handy soon! Thank you x