After that she tried pretty much every other day and Snape remained as elusive as ever.

She wanted to speak to him face to face rather than sending a message, there was so much that needed to be said, but time went by and that possibility seemed to be dwindling.

But a week into July, Hermione had formed a plan.

"Professor Snape, I think I understand what happened, and I still trust you. The Order has abandoned Grimmauld Place because they don't believe it's safe anymore. I'll be there next Wednesday from 1 till 4 in the afternoon. Please, please come and talk to me there. I'll be alone I promise. Take care of yourself Professor."

She sent the message with trembling hands. Again he didn't respond.

Hermione spent Wednesday morning in a state of complete and utter nervousness. She'd deliberately tried to stop herself from over thinking and overanalysing her faith in her Potions Professor. She trusted him, she knew he would never hurt her, and that should be enough. That morning many unwanted thoughts kept popping unbidden into her head. What if she'd set up a trap for herself? What if they'd be a gang of Death Eater's gleefully awaiting her arrival?

No.

No she trusted Snape.

But what if someone else had the pocket watch?

No. It wouldn't work for them.

At 10am she packed herself some food, made her excuses to her parents, and Apparated directly onto the front step of Grimmauld Place, deciding that earliness would make it safer for her. Plus she wanted to check the house was empty and secure for Snape's benefit too.

It was just as tall and forbidding as she remembered. She tapped the front door with her wand and listened to the series of clicks that followed with her heart beating in her throat. She stood in the entrance and took in the familiar surroundings. The lights flickered ominously along the hall, the heads of dead house elves casting weird shadows, and cobwebs hung from every lamp. Not the most welcoming setting for a reunion. God she hoped Snape would show up.

"Homenum Revelio"

Nothing. She was alone.

Cautiously Hermione made her way forwards.

"Severus Snape?" Moody's voice whispered by her ear and she jumped a mile.

Then something flew over her sending an icy chill down her spine, her tongued curled backwards blocking her throat and choking her… And then it was over.

The Order's defences. Of course.

She took another step forwards, holding her breath.

*Something shifted in the shadows at the end of the hall, a figure had risen up out of the carpet, tall, dust-coloured, and terrible; Hermione screamed and so did Mrs. Black, her curtains flying open; the grey figure was gliding toward her, faster and faster, its waist-length hair and beard streaming behind it, its face sunken, fleshless, with empty eye sockets: Horribly familiar, dreadfully altered, it raised a wasted arm, pointing at her.*

"NO!" She shouted. "It wasn't me! I didn't kill you!"

On the word 'kill', the figure exploded in a great cloud of dust.*

She found herself coughing and spluttering, tears down her face, cowering against the wall.

Mrs Black was screaming from above.

Dumbledore. But terrible.

That was certainly an impressive defence. She had to warn Snape about that…

Silently she made her way shakily through the dust, wrestling the curtains on either side of Sirius' mother shut and trying to calm herself down.

God.

She made a quick tour of the house, stopping off at the bathroom and allowing herself a brief vain moment to improve her appearance as best she could.

Nothing seemed out of order in the desolate silence of Grimmauld Place.

It was 11am when she made herself a cup of tea in the abandoned and dreary kitchen, silently mourning the lack of milk and going to pull out her mirror to send a quick message to her Professor.

Then she heard the clicks of the door being opened….

Immediately she pulled out her wand and sprinted towards the entrance, her stomach in her toes and her heart pounding. Out of the kitchen, down the corridor, round the corner…

And there he was. Tall and dark. Black robes. Black hair. Black eyes.

Her stomach dropped.

They stared at one another from each end of the hall for several heartbeats.

He took a step forwards.

Something shifted at her feet, and the dusty, ghostly figure of Albus Dumbledore rose once again, tall, pale and horribly disfigured, it made its way towards Snape, faster and faster it flew towards him, and he stood there motionless as it's hair and beard flew behind it. It raised a bony arm and pointed at him. Snape's hands flew to his face.

"I DIDN'T KILL YOU!" She shouted desperately, and again the figure exploded.

It was several seconds before Hermione could make out Snape through the dust, her heart beating so furiously it was almost painful.

He was standing frozen with his hands by his face, trying to shield himself.

And before she knew what was happening she was running at him, tears falling freely from her eyes…

She got a fleeting glance of his terrified face before she was upon him, and she flung her arms around his neck and held onto him for dear life because he was there and it wasn't a trap and oh god she'd missed him with an intensity that had become a physical pain.

"I'm so sorry." She choked out through her tears.

Snape had been standing rigidly in her arms, so still it was as if he'd been afraid to move, but at her words a colossal shudder ran through him, and then his arms came crashing around her body with a fierce intensity, holding her so tight it was on the verge of being painful as his hands spasmodically clutched at her back, bunching her muggle jumper.

Their heads were pressed together, ear to ear, and she could feel his ragged breath by her neck, the length of his body against hers, smell his subtle aroma of potions ingredients and earth and she had no idea why she was crying so much, or who was comforting whom, but she was just so grateful to be in the company of this impossible man she felt weak from it.

It felt like they stayed that way, in the tightest of embraces, for a long time, but then Snape's body started to tremble. She tightened her told on him as her chest ached, wishing she could somehow help…

"It hurts." His voice was softer than a whisper, but his confession fell over her awareness like a ton of bricks.

His trembling turned to shaking, and they were pressed so tightly together that her body shook too. Snape's knees started to give way but his crushing grip on her didn't loosen, and she found that she couldn't hold them both up this time. As gently as she could she lowered Snape down, allowing him to pull her down too so that they were kneeling on the dusty floor, arms still around one another, thigh to thigh.

And then she realised that he was crying. His body was being wracked with sobs.

He was sobbing.

Great, big, heart wrenching, silent cries of agony that were physically shaking him.

Her heart broke for him in that moment.

"It'll be okay," she whispered, trying to stem her own tears, "we'll be alright."

He started making noises like a wounded animal then, as if he knew she wasn't convinced of her own words. His little sounds of utter despair were almost worse than his crying, her mind took her back to his nightmare in her third year. She hadn't been able to help at all then, and even though he was in her arms now, she felt just as helpless. His arms were around her so tightly, but it was almost as if he drew her closer to him with every sob, so every available inch of them was pressed together.

"We'll be okay." She said quietly, her voice stronger as she moved one of her hands to cradle the back of Snape's head. "We will be."

She held him to her as tightly as she could while he grieved. There were still things she didn't understand, but they could wait. If she'd had the slightest doubt in her brain about Snape's loyalties, it had vanished as soon as he'd returned her embrace.

Hermione repeated that phrase many times as they kneeled together. "We'll be okay." Maybe it was more for her own benefit. The two of them had to be okay. One way or another, they just had to be.

Snape's hands were still bunching her jumper.

She tightened her hold when she felt him begin to calm, but she stopped trying to soothe him, somehow knowing it would seem embarrassing for them both.

"I wish you could have told me," she said into the quiet, the only other sound came from Snape's shallow breaths. "I wish I'd known, or figured it out or something. I'm so sorry. Knowing you had to do that, knowing you'd be alone, it must have been awful. I'm so so sorry."

She thought she'd said something wrong at first, because Snape pulled away from her, but then he was looking into her eyes, and she could see the pain clearly etched onto his harsh features, pain and grief and … need. Their eyes were locked, and she could feel something powerful thrumming through her, goose bumps erupted along her arms, down her thighs. Only there was no tension this time, and she could breathe just fine.

And then they were kissing. She wasn't sure who leant into whom, it was like everything else was gone, and all she was aware of, all she could be aware of, was his soft lips against hers.

Hermione pulled away slightly, and Snape's face instantly shut down, he let go of her and looked away to stare at his knees, a palpable air of defeat around him. Silently she took his face in her hands, blinking away tears at his flinch, and pulled his face up to look at her.

She'd only wanted to know that he was sure.

There was so much insecurity in his face it was almost painful to look at, there was something raw and helpless, but in the depths of his dark eyes there was lust, fiery lust and it sent a shudder of a thrill through her. With her hands still of either side of his face, she slowly closed the distance between them, giving him ample opportunity to stop her.

But he didn't.

And then their lips were together once again, it was if her boldness sparked his own, and she opened her mouth for him as his tongue came into contact with her lips. It was kiss borne from desperation, grief and flames. He was burning her. His lips, his tongue were fire, nothing had ever felt like this before, she was completely consumed by him. His hands moved to her back, pulling her closer with an almost desperate force, and she slipped onto his lap, one leg on either side of him, pressing herself against him as her hands moved into his hair. As the kiss deepened, and she began to explore him more thoroughly, she became aware of the taste of him, and it resonated deeply throughout her entire body, it was the most intoxicating thing she'd ever encountered. It was dark, rich and beautiful, and for the first time in an encounter such as this, Hermione felt completely out of control.

And she loved it.

When she felt his erection underneath her, a swell of hot, undiluted desire coursed through her like a drug, flames between her legs, and she didn't hesitate to shift and rub against him. Snape groaned and a shudder ran over her body as he pulled her even closer, one of her arms around his shoulders while one hand was still tangled in his hair.

Now it was difficult to breathe.

It was just perfect, she'd wanted this for so long, never being even vaguely sure as to what Snape wanted, and now here they were, under the most unlikely circumstances. And she was so relieved and so thankful and so filled with desire it was almost like becoming detached from reality. It felt as if she'd been waiting for this moment forever.

At some point they both needed to breathe and the kiss gentled, finally drawing to an agonising close as they leant away from each other, her hands resting on his shoulders.

There was less insecurity in his face now, but it was still present. His usually sallow skin was flushed, his lips pink, his eyes unfocused, but there was something so fragile in the way he was looking at her it left her feeling almost too powerful. She could do anything to him in this moment. They both knew it.

A slow smile overtook her face as she looked at Snape, and she took his head in her hands once more, gently wiping away the tear tracks on his thin face with her thumbs. The smallest of smiles began to play around his lips then, shy and sweet it made her heart swell and she bowed her head to place a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"I – I apologise, Miss Granger. I - "

"You don't have anything to apologise for!" She interrupted him fiercely. "Nothing. And I think you should call me Hermione."

She smiled again.

"Severus?" She asked, feeling suddenly timid.

"Severus." He agreed, and his lips twitched upwards as they looked at one another.

"How much time do we have, Severus?" Calling him by his first name made her blush, and to her secret delight, Snape's – no, Severus' cheeks reddened slightly in response.

"Enough." He answered impassively and she nodded.

A look of shock quickly overtook his features, followed by an agonising confusion.

"Lily." He said, his eyes averted, a crease between his brows.

"What?"

"Lily." He said again. "I – I love Lily."

It felt like someone had thrown a bucket of icy water over her, and she resisted the urge to move away from him.

"Who's Lily?" She asked, her voice sounding uncharacteristically cold.

He looked up at her again, and his bitter confusion was so clear it added to the pain pulsing underneath her sternum.

"Lily Pott – Lily Evans." He replied, quietly.

What?

"Harry's Mum?" She asked slowly, bewilderment replacing her overriding emotion of betrayal.

He nodded.

She slipped of his lap then and stood, holding out her hand to him. He took it hesitantly, uncertainty in his face. With a painful heart she laced her fingers through his and lead him back to the kitchen, silently devastated that the first time she was holding his hand – which she'd wanted to do for so very long – was directly after he'd told her he loved someone else.

They sat at the kitchen table together.

"I think you should start from the beginning." She said gently.

He stared at her in silence for a long time, and she met his heavy gaze with a calm she didn't feel inside.

Then he nodded.

"We were childhood friends…" He said.

And he told her everything. His first friend, her bright hair and green eyes and beauty - Hermione seen pictures of Harry's Mum - it was no wonder Severus had fallen for her, the unloved, unwashed little Slytherin. She was loyal to him despite their different houses, until the day he called her a mudblood. Talking about that incident obviously cost Severus a lot, and she reached out and took his hand, fisted on the table. He looked up at her in surprise, and she smiled at him silently as he slipped his fingers through hers, willing him to continue talking. Lily hadn't forgiven him for that, and Hermione tried hard not to judge the teenage witch, for a word like that from a friend's mouth would cause a lot of pain. He didn't disclose his reasons for joining the Death Eaters, but she got the distinct impression that he'd had no idea what else to do without a real friend in his life. He spoke next of overhearing the prophecy, and the horror when he'd discovered that it had referred to the child of the woman he loved, and how that led him back to Dumbledore. But both Masters had failed him, and Lily had died. His head dropped as he spoke of that night, his hair curtaining his face and Hermione squeezed his had tightly as he took a deep breath and continued.

"That's why I'm in the Order, that's why I protect Potter, everything is because of Lily. Everything is for Lily."

They sat in silence for a time and Hermione attempted to decipher her tangled feelings.

"You and Lily were never together?"

"No."

She nodded, although Snape was unable to see her.

"You don't have to stop loving Lily." She said quietly.

He looked back up at her briefly, his eyes wide and startled, before he dropped his head once more.

"What?"

"You can still love Lily, and we can still try … this." She paused as she tried to gather her thoughts. "She's been dead for nearly 16 years, Severus. Widowed men remarry in a lot less time than that, it doesn't mean they didn't love their first wives, it doesn't mean they don't still love them… It just means … it just means that life goes on, and so must we."

His black eyes locked onto hers.

"You wouldn't be betraying her. It wouldn't make your love, your loyalty mean any less."

There was something so vulnerable, so hopeful in his eyes, along with shock in his face,it was as though she was revealing to him a wonderful secret he'd never known. This moment, when he'd exposed so much to her, this was the most vulnerable she'd ever seen him. And she couldn't help herself. She leaned towards him once more, her eyes flickering shut, and he met her half way. The kiss was gentle, sweet rather than frantic and almost brutal as their last kiss had been, but there was fire burning low and just beneath the surface that made her swoon into him. It didn't last long, but she had a feeling she'd be reliving it for a very long time. She smiled at him again as they looked at one another, his face was open and warm, but then another flicker of confusion overtook it, and she braced herself.

"But why on earth would you want … this?" He asked, and she heard the unsaid 'me' clearly, she could see it in the hunch of his shoulders and the fragile gleam in his eyes.

There were a million reasons why she wanted him. But where to start? How could she convince him?

"I – I've wanted this for a very long time. I am completely infatuated with you." She told him, feeling tears begin to surface in her eyes. "Infatuated and enthralled. I'm just…"

The unspoken 'yours' died in her throat. Her bravery seemed to have reached its limit.

"It's not going to be easy," she continued, with a small smile as to the understatement she'd just uttered. Sna – Severus smirked a little then. "Okay, it's going to be very hard," she amended, "it may not work out, either one of us could be dead tomorrow." A lump formed in her throat as she took in that possibility. "But we might as well try - just to … see - no pressure, no big promises no unrealistic expectations. Just … try. Please?"

He nodded.

"Thank you." Said Hermione, a rather large smile erupting on her face as a hope, with almost dazzling intensity, burned on her chest.

"No." Severus said firmly. "Thank you. I don't know how you … I don't know why…"

There was such a genuine look on his face, such a delicate awe in his words it left her … powerless … helpless … joyful.

She kissed his cheek, almost giddily happy that she could do so, and a tear fell from her eye, before she could react, Severus' hand had flown to her face, his fingers on her jaw line, and he wiped it away with the rough pad of his thumb. She smiled up at him and he gave her that beautiful, shy little smile in return.

"Would you mind telling me about what happened with Dumbledore?" She asked tentatively.

He sighed and gave her a rather exasperated look, but nodded his head.

"How much do you understand … Hermione?"

She flashed him a small smile.

"Well, the terrible thing for Dumbledore, was killing Dumbledore, Malfoy had been chosen to kill Dumbledore, and you'd made an Unbreakable Vow to protect Malfoy, so by killing Dumbledore yourself, you fulfilled the Vow and did as Dumbledore wanted? I'm assuming that was to make Volde – You-Know-Who – trust you. But I'm still a bit unclear as to the order it all happened in. Oh, and Dumbledore's hand – it was killing him, wasn't it?"

He'd been looking at her oddly as she spoke.

"I told you too much." He said quietly.

"You didn't tell me enough!" She countered.

He let out an amused huff of air that instantly quelled her brief spark of anger.

"Perhaps not." He agreed. "The Headmaster summoned me to him one night last summer; he'd touched an incredibly powerful Dark object, carrying a terrible curse. I managed to confine the curse to his hand, but we both knew that it would spread. He only had about a year to live then. Around the same time, the Dark Lord had decided to task Draco with killing Dumbledore – I believe to punish the Malfoys for what happened in the Department of Mysteries. Draco's failure would have resulted in his death. Dumbledore wished for me to watch over Draco, and when the time came, to kill him myself, rather than allow a boy to do so, or to allow one of the other Death Eaters to … use crueller means.

"A few weeks later, Narcissa and Bellatrix paid me a visit. Narcissa was … very distressed. Bellatrix was more concerned with questioning my loyalties. She proposed that I took the Vow to watch over Draco, to protect him, and to carry out the deed myself if Draco failed. I didn't have a choice then; if I had not taken the Vow it would have made my position incredibly precarious, too precarious. So then -"

"So then it came down to your life, or the life of an old man who would die soon anyway." Hermione finished for him. "Shit."

"Indeed." Said Severus quietly, his head bowed again, and it struck her how much it was pain it was causing him to talk to her like this.

"Thank you for telling me."

He nodded.

"I'm so sorry."

"Stop apologising." He snapped. "It wasn't your fault."

"I know," she answered softly, "but I'm sorry it all happened like that. You were totally backed into a corner."

"Indeed." He said stiffly.

Oh dear, perhaps she'd pushed him too far.

"Where have you been staying?"

"At the Malfoy residence."

"So have you had to Occlude this whole time?" She asked him, aghast.

"There have been times when I've been able to lower my shields to a certain degree." He answered. "But it hasn't been safe to take them down completely. That's probably why…"

He gestured vaguely towards the hall, an embarrassed flush lingering on his cheeks.

She squeezed his hand, still placed so trustingly in hers.

"And all these crashes and explosions and disasters?"

"They've all been … us. Yes."

"I wish you didn't have to."

"As do I." He answered heavily, and she shifted closer to him, leaning against him. He stiffened, but didn't pull away. "Hermione … your parents…"

"They're targets?"

He nodded.

"I thought they would be. I'm planning to modify their memories, make them forget all about me, Harry, magic, change their names and send them off to Australia." A lump formed in her throat again, and she swallowed against it angrily. "I'm not quite ready yet though, do you know how long…"

"They're not high up on the list." Severus said quickly. "You have at least a month. If you need assistance…"

"No," she answered quietly, "a month will be more than enough time. Thank you though."

Hermione looked up at him, and he was looking down at her with wary eyes.

"I know it's not your fault." She told him quietly, and his eyes briefly flickered closed. When he opened them there was once again a fire burning amongst the darkness. It spoke to her of relief and pain and hope and fear. Her breathing hitched, and then his mouth came down to hers, her free hand moved to his face and pulled him closer to her. Their tongues slid together, and a hot excitement began to flow through her veins, but then it was over, and he was smiling softly at her, a downright dirty look playing on his face. Hermione huffed out a laugh.

"I'm very pleased you decided to come here, Severus."

"As am I."

His face turned slowly serious once again.

"Your parents," He said quietly, "it will not be easy - Hermione - but it is what must be done."

"I know." She answered, but hot tears began to form in her eyes and she quickly looked away from him, embarrassed to cry in front of him when he'd been through so much…

He squeezed her hand, and placed his free hand on her forearm. It was a little awkward, but he was trying, and that meant a lot to her. She shifted against him and calmed herself, and they both slowly relaxed together, and sat in silence, both lost in their thoughts.

The sun was low in the sky when Hermione's stomach rumbled. She let out a nervous giggle.

"Sorry, I hadn't realised I was hungry."

Severus shrugged.

"I think there's a fish & chip shop round the corner from here, I take it you like fish & chips?"

"I wouldn't know."

"What … you've never had fish & chips?"

He shook his head.

"But wasn't your Dad a muggle? Surely he would-"

"We didn't have much money." He answered shortly. "And my Father … he was not a nice man."

Silence settled between them. Whoops. She'd pushed him again without even meaning to.

"I'll go and get us some food then." She said lightly. "No, you stay here," - Severus had made to stand up – "I'm much less conspicuous and I think I know where I'm going."

She smiled at the disgruntled look on his face.

"I won't be long." She stood, then bent down to place a chaste kiss on Severus' lips, startling him, and sending a pulse of pleasure through her. "You promise you'll be here when I get back?"

"I promise." He answered, his face incredibly solemn, as if he was once again making a Vow.

"I'll be back."

Half an hour later they were sat at the table eating their food. It was almost laughably domestic.

"So what do you think?" She asked him.

"It's exceptionally greasy."

Hermione chuckled.

"Good though?"

He nodded.

It had been strange when she'd arrived back. Dumbledore's figure had risen out of the ground, and she'd quickly gotten rid of it, walking purposely back into the kitchen. Severus had been stood in the shadows, wand raised, and a look of overwhelming relief had washed over his face when he'd seen it was her, he'd started quickly towards her, his arms raised as if to touch her, but they'd fallen short, and he'd taken the bag from her instead, endearingly self-conscious.

"When do you need to return home?"

"Whenever really, I told my parents I was seeing friends, and I might stay with them for a bit. They're very relaxed about that sort of thing."

"I imagine they have to be."

"I suppose they do." She answered thoughtfully. "When do you have to leave?"

"I have some time. As long as I return having thoroughly searched this house, it will be fine."

"It's already quite late… Can you … can we … stay the night?" She went very hot as she asked him.

"I … yes." He answered, and she couldn't dampen the smile on her face as they finished their food.

They decided to stay in the same room, for the purpose of being safe, of course. There were two large beds in the room she and Ginny used to stay in. Hermione had brought pyjamas, and there had been a set left behind in the room Fred and George had stayed in. It had been an awkward conversation, involving a lot of blushing from her, and a lot of averted gazes from him, but now she emerged from the bathroom in her pink, lacy sleepwear. They were full length, but flatteringly cut, a birthday present from a cousin that she still wasn't quite sure about.

It was very strange seeing Severus in long, grey pyjamas. He was standing in the centre of the bedroom looking entirely out of sorts. He opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it again. She didn't like to see him so unsure of himself. Hermione walked slowly up to him, and placed her hands on his shoulders. He looked down at her uncertainly.

"I like seeing you with fewer clothes on." She whispered daringly, and Severus' eyes widened in surprise.

When he kissed her this time, it was completely without restraint, there was a slight fumble of noses and teeth before they found the right angel, then it was fierce and bruising and mesmerising and oh dear God. His hands were on the small of her back and once again he pulled her against him so tightly it was hard to breathe, but she didn't care, she pressed herself along him, her hands in his hair as their tongues stroked against each other, and he took everything he could from the kiss, everything he could from her, and she gave it happily. She bit his bottom lip and he let out a soft noise of surprise and delight that sent something hot pounding through every inch of her. Then she became aware of his erection pressing against her, and there was the absolute proof that he wanted her as she wanted him, and something joyful and fragile erupted on her chest. Without really realising what she was doing one of her hands broke away from his hair and moved to stroke him through his pyjamas. He broke away from the kiss as soon as her fingers made contact and stared down at her in disbelief. Looking back up at his harsh, beautiful face, Hermione slowly moved her fingers along the length of him and he shuddered. A slow smile overtook her face as she pulled his head back down to hers, and he kissed her gently, almost hesitantly as she ran her fingers softly along him.

He let out a gasp that sent a jolt of lust straight to her groin when she slid her hand under his waistband to hold him properly. She moved her hand up and down the length of him and there was a slight tremor in his body, he broke the kiss and looked down at her, surprised once again. She kept moving her hand as she went up on tiptoes to kiss along his jaw line, and his breathing hitched when she kissed the soft skin by his ear.

"Hermione," he said unsteadily, "are you sure you want… You don't have-"

She shut him up by placing a quick kiss on his lips.

"I want to." She told him softly, then kissed him once more before she began to ease his pyjama bottoms down his legs, freeing his erection and discarding them to one side. She knelt before him and kissed the tip of his penis, lust flowing through her when he shivered at the contact. She gently stroked up his thin legs, wanting to touch as much of his as she could, feeling his wiry hairs and one long scar along his left leg, working her way up to his arse then running her hands down and round to the front again. His legs were trembling ever so slightly. Grasping his shaft in one hand, she slowly lowered her mouth around him, going down as far as was comfortable, then rising back up just as slowly. She repeated the gesture, then pulled away from him, blowing on his cock and smiling a secret smile when he shuddered.

This was beyond a fantasy.

She took his balls in one hands and rubbed her thumb along them as she moved her other hand slowly up and down, then began sucking him once again, swirling her tongue around the head as she drew away. As she continued, Severus' tiny noises of pleasure turned louder, and when she went took him particularly far down her throat, he moaned incoherently. She looked up at him again, and he was watching her with such awe in his face she felt herself grow wet and needy in response. She released him from her mouth only to stroke him harder, sucking his balls instead and drawing circles along his inner thigh.

"Fuck." He groaned, as she began to suck his length once again. He'd been quite still up until this point, but she could tell he was close when his hips started to moved with her. She increased her pace and sucked harder, one hand still moving along his shaft, one hand massaging his balls, harder now, and it wasn't long till he was grunting with every outward breath, a tremor running over him as her lips reached his head. His legs were shaking. She sucked him as hard as she could then, squeezing his balls and it wasn't long before he stiffened, his face twisting as he came, his eyes shut tight, his face flushed, and no one had ever looked so beautiful. A huge spasmodic shudder ran over him and he groaned, so loud, so drawn out, it was almost a scream and she tasted him; salty but somehow pleasant on her tongue.

His cock was still in her mouth when she noticed his knees giving way, and she quickly released him, placing her hands around him just above his hips as he braced himself on her shoulders, panting as if he'd just run a marathon.

It was a few minutes before he stood upright, and walked shakily over to the bed. When she saw the tears on his face it felt like she'd been stabbed, and she quickly stood and walked over to him but he turned away from her.

"My student." She heard him whisper, before he lay down with his back to her. "Go away." He said loudly, his voice hoarse. "Leave me."

She stood by the bed for what felt like a long time, confused and worried.

"Never." She answered quietly, and she lay on her side next to him, slipping an arm over his waist and kissing the back of his neck, her own actions making her feel completely wrong-footed.

They lay that way for a long time before he shifted onto his back, and longer still before he finally made eye contact. She moved her hand to his face and gently wiped away his tears.

"I'm not your student anymore; I'm not going back to Hogwarts." She told him, and he stared at her with scared eyes that hurt her chest. "I'm of age, Severus I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions. I wanted to that, I enjoyed doing that, I'd love to do it again sometime, and in case you couldn't tell, I knew exactly what I was doing."

He nodded his head slightly then, looking a little more like himself, and slowly, he leant towards her and nervously kissed her forehead.

"That was … outstanding, Hermione." He told her softly.

"Thank you. You know I think that's the highest praise I've ever received from you."

"Indeed?" He smirked. "Well I believe that's the best thing you've ever done for me."

Hermione laughed, relieved and pleased with herself.

"Come on." She stood and he followed her lead, quickly putting his pyjama bottoms back on. She lifted up the covers and indicated that he should get in first.

"We're not sharing a bed." He said flatly.

"Okay. Why not?"

He glared at her.

"Severus," His name still felt strange in her mouth. "I'm not trying to be awkward. If you don't want to share a bed that's fair enough, I don't mind, but if you're worried about impropriety or something I think we're a long way past that. So why aren't we going to share a bed?"

"I don't want to." He answered her flatly, and his sneering mask was threatening to take hold, so she nodded her head, not wanting to start an argument. He'd been through a lot, she'd made him relive a lot, and she'd pushed him further than he was comfortable with; if this was where he drew the line, then that was ok with her.

"Good night then." She said softly, and rising up on her tiptoes, she placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, still overwhelmingly happy that things had gone as well as they had, and made her way to the other bed.

She couldn't get to sleep for a long time. So much had happened 12 hours. And as happy as she was, as amazing as what had happened between them had been, there was still Lily. Hermione refused to be jealous of a dead woman, and she believed everything she's said to Severus on the matter, but… Insecurity is a powerful thing. She was starting a … relationship … with someone who admitted to being in love with someone else. She sighed. The man himself had been silent at the other end of the room since she'd turned the lights out. He cared about her; that much was obvious. And he was willing to try. That would have to be enough for now. The worst that could happen was that she would get very badly hurt, and it was a risk she was more than willing to take for the chance to have … something … with the impossible, infuriating, wonderful man sleeping in the same room as her.

It must have been very late at night when Severus made his way silently over to Hermione's bed and slipped under the covers. He didn't touch her, he just lay by her side. She pretended to be asleep, afraid that any sound or movement from her would send him running. His breathing turned deep and even quickly after that, but Hermione still took a long time to get to sleep.

She couldn't stop smiling.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Oh dear Lord I hope you like this chapter, it's one that has been in my head for an absolute age and it was so amazing to finally write it. Oh my God I hope you like it! I'm so jealous of Hermione ;)

On a different note, I'm getting so much uni work a the minute and I have exams in January so I'm going to make uploading a new chapter an every other week thing now. I'm so sorry to have to slow down - trust me when I say don't want to - but I need to keep on top of everything.

Stay tuned!

Oh and thank you to everyone who was nice about the last little chapter I did - I know it was mean but it was so fun! I doubt I'll do it again so if you hated it don't worry ;)

mundy - thank you! I'm glad you think the timing of Hermione's realization was okay, I was a bit worried about that ;)

Rewera - Thank you so much for such a lovely review - so happy you like the way I write them both :) Snape definitely deserves to have an ally, the poor man has had such a dreadfully hard life. Sorry for the torment! Hope you liked this chapter!

guest "I really like this so and all . . . but, when is the romance going to start?" - I feel like this chapter has probably answered your question ;) Although I do have to say that I thought the romance between them started a while ago. Thanks for reviewing :)

Angel-sama - THANK YOUUUU! ;)

Guest "Really enjoyed that! Can't wait for the next installment" - Thank youuu :) Hope you liked this chapter and thanks for reviewing :)

ScarlettNymph - Hi, I know you have an account but it wouldn't let me message you for some reason. If you don't want me to respond to a review from you in this way in the future just let me know :) Thank you so much, I'm so happy you like this story and think it's a more plausible one - that is something that is very important to me so it's lovely to hear. Hope you continue to enjoy it, and thank you so much fore writing such a great review! :)