Sometimes, life let's you breath. Sometimes, you're Meredith Grey trapped on a subway train underneath new york city during new years eve, dying, after your friend just died, while some random kid named Luke is sitting on the opposite side of the car staring into space and drenched in blood.

This is Grey's Anatomy.

So how did this start? Well, Austin Moon was on his way to preform NYE in NYC's Madison Square garden (Corona doesn't exist in this universe but Disney Channel does. Just go with it.) when he ran into a young distressed rich woman who owns her late father's hotel. He had been on his way to hail a cab when his phone rang and looking down he didn't see her approach and ran right over her BRAND NEW HEELS!

She punched him in the dick and he sang a high note that helped her recognize him, "OMG. I just punched Austin Moon in the dick."

"OMG. I just got punched in the dick." And he died.

London knew the police would come looking for her so she ditched the shoes. And RAN.

A mile away she found the home of her best friend. The candy counter girl who no longer worked as a candy counter girl but instead wrote emails about emails for a company that owns an email webpage for mail that is from the internet.

"London! You came crawling back. I always knew you was lesbian." Said Maddie who stood in the doorway holding a box of candy.

London slaps the candy out of her hand, "No you ignorant slut. I murdered someone."

Flash back to the scene of the crime.

Meredith Grey, who is currently living at this hotel for a clinical trial about cancer stopping cancer cells with the magical power of marijuana and Linsdey Lohan's hair follicle formula, finds the body of Austin Moon, does the cha cha, claps her hands twice, and sings Christina Agulera's rendition of 'Oh what a releif it is' from the ricolla commercials and the boy comes back to life.

Flash back to Maddy's apartment.

"I need you to make me a man." Said London.

The two stared at each other for a long time.

Then at last Maddy said, "It'll take nineteen years and a man who already exists for me to make one from scratch."

London smacks her, "No you idiot. I'm changing my ginger."

"You mean your gender?" Maddy asks.

London smacks her, "Yes."

Flash back to Meredith Grey.

Austin sits in the back of an ambulance holding an ice bag over his injured, giant man phalis.

"What's the perscription Doctor?" He asks her.

She sighs, "Lay off the internet porn. It caused lesions on the brain that could lead to cancer. You can see it and hear it but you can't touch it so your masturbation addiction and the stress your under from being a celebrity is causing your body to get confused. You're dick thought it was your brain and your body thought it was dead. Try admitting to your flaming homosexuality and actual living for once."

He drove off to an adventure when he got to time square because he met up with the Jonas Brothers who were rehearsing and the five of them took a hot bath together at the grand plaza hotel Donald Trump was staying in when Kevin McCallister got lost trying to find the lobby after taking the wrong flight. They did a lot of sexual things that wound up on the internet.

Meredith, however, did not.

She has class.

Meaning she had to make a guest appearance at college class at the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts to teach about the art of Cadavering in her lab.

Three students really took a liking to her work. A gay couple who sing at random times with a band that just so happens to know the very song they're singing and Luke Ross, a boy trying to become an actor to chase after a woman that was his nanny when he was still a boy. Her stitch work and stories of how she almost became a cadaver really resignated with the three of them.

When she left she didn't know she was being followed.

Her BRAND NEW HEELS clicked as she made her way out onto the side walk. Around a bend she went with her sandy blond locks flowing behind her. Big Time Rush walked around her in the freezing cold chattering away about the nasty buildup of black snow on the roads and how New York just "doesn't smell right".

Down the stairway and into the subway station she went.

He appeared right beside her.

"Do I know you?" She asked.

He looked over at her just as confused, "Oh hey. Yeah I was in your class today, you have a very witty way with words." and Luke stepped aside allowing her inside the train car first."

She nodded, "Yes, you were the boy who kissed one of my cadavers for your method acting aren't you?"

"Yes." He grinned, "I play William Frowe, a young man who's lover is ripped from life too soon by a deranged surgeon. I kiss his corpse for a final grade. How was the rehearsal?" He asked as the door shut and the train sped off.

She laughed, "Sloppy."

The train lights flickered and London Tipton looked up from behind a book too big for her to actually be reading when a man next to her said, "Damn dude. You're hot. Wanna fuck."

She whispered, "I'm a girl. And I'm hiding."

"Whatever, I don't judge." He smirked, "Ass is ass."

So she punched him in the dick. He died.

"Oh no! This man is dead. That man punched him in the dick and he died. Is there a doctor on the train!" Cried a old black woman holding a lasagna.

"I'm a doctor!" Said Meredith who knelt down and revived the man by taking off her socks and shoes and whistling through her toes while tickling his nose with a ball of yarn from her purse because she's forty and knits for some reason.

When he's alive again he looks at her and says, "You shouldn't have brought me back."

His pupils ripple like muddy water and expand to cover his corneas. He pulls himself back into a seated position and falls asleep against the cold frosted up window.

Meredith shudders.

The train comes to a sudden halt. The lights go out. A deep read glow fills the cabin.

Maddy leans over and whispers to London, "What's happening."

"The genera's are crossing." Says the woman holding the Lasagna.

From the cart in front of them steps out a group of people all confused and asking passengers if they're okay.

A familiar voice hits Meredith's ear, "Mere?"

She spins and gasps, "Alex. What are you doing here?"

The woman holding the lasagna rises to her feet and creeps through the darkness to the rekendling pair. She strikes once, twice. Suddenly she's beating alex to death with her glass pan of lasagna. He died.

The train car speeds up and people start pulling out their phones. Three of the people who entered the car with Alex start taking off their clothes and engage in a MMF sexual display that sets off Maddy. She quickly turns and starts slamming her head against the glass until it bust and her body is pulled out through sheer force.

London climbs to the ceiling and perches in the crook of where luggage should hang but people in a hurry never use it and so it's always out of use because everyone in New York is in a hurry. Though the train system honestly sucks so no one ever gets anywhere on time.

The trio having sex suddenly start spewing blood and Meredith recognizes that one of them is killing the other two with a scalpel from her bag. Before she can do anything everyone on the train is killing everyone and it's with the very tools she uses to save lives. When she gets attacked by a child she fights back long enough to suspend the little girl in the air and kick her into the open window where she's pulled out and blood sprays the inside of the car.

Meredith collapses on the ground and Luke Ross takes a seat surrounded by the bodies of complete strangers. His hand finds the cell phone in his pocket and while he should call for help he receives a burst of memories of him sitting on the toilet vigorously masturbating to the images and videos of people he's never met and he just throws it across the train car. He waits for Meredith to die.

At least he'll have the experience for his performance.

And that's what you missed on Glee.