17

Last Alarm

Chapter Seventeen

"Crossroads" Part Seven

Crossroads plural of cross·roads (Noun)

intersection of two or more roads.

2.A point at which a crucial decision must be made that will have far-reaching consequences.

One of the biggest joys and one of the worst tragedies about being a Firefighter/Paramedic is dealing with children.

I've always enjoyed showing schoolchildren the fire truck whenever the local schools would send classes of young schoolchildren over to the station for a tour of the firehouse during Fire Prevention. As rambunctious as they could be sometimes, it was still a lot of fun.

I also used to get a big kick out of the guys whenever we had to go to an elementary school and teach kids about fire safety, and then we'd show them the truck and put on our bunker gear and demonstrate the tools we used and so forth.

What always made me laugh about the guys was that we firemen are very proud of our occupation, and I'm no different than the rest of the guys. We can get a little cocky sometimes, just like the guys in the Police Dept. who love it as much as we do, to work out hard in the gym and talk tough and act a little macho sometimes.

Okay, make that, we act macho a LOT of the time.

But despite how macho we are and how much we push ourselves to do our very best at our job. There is nothing that will scare a firefighter more than having to talk to a bunch of preschooler's during Fire Prevention.

Actually, that's only some of the guys, not all of us. But I do get a kick out of the guys who are married and have children of their own who freak out when it's their turn to speak to a class of five year olds.

I tease the guys all the time about being "Big, strong, macho firemen" who will rush into a burning building, but will back pedal like no tomorrow when facing an auditorium full of kids.

It's funny, but we all manage to get through it alive and have fun.

Unfortunately, when the alarm goes off, and the call comes in for a child, it's not fun at all. And nothing makes any of us in Emergency Services haul ass faster to a call than when a child is involved.

But sometimes it doesn't make a difference how fast we get there.

The only time I ever talk about those calls where children are involved is if the person is a fellow Firefighter, Paramedic, Policeman, or a trainee. Otherwise I just don't talk about. Sometimes the things that happen on those calls are related to sickness, and some to neglect.

And then are some things just so horrible, you just don't want to talk about them, especially to civilians.

So I won't.

Sometimes as adults, we get so caught up in the rat race and the frustrations of life that we tend to take things for granted. And sometimes we don't appreciate what we have until it's gone.

And then there's my situation, where I've never known what it's like to have a family of my own.

I try not to bore people with the story of my love life, or lack thereof. When I was a younger man, like all young men, I wanted to find the woman I could love and settle down. And while that never worked out to well for me, what hurt later was the fact that I never had any children either.

None of us truly enjoy being alone. But what hurt me was that all my life's experiences, my life's lessons, joys, heartbreak, triumphs, tragedies, and accomplishments would not be passed down to anyone. Everything I knew, everything I ever learned, everything I ever remembered would die with me.

I guess that's what my biggest regret later in life became, and it began to affect me in ways I did not even realize.

And one of the ways it had affected me was how I was reacting to these young refugees that I had stumbled upon. Instead of treating them as I would have if I had been working as a Firefighter helping to evacuate this small group of teens and their school nurse from a major disaster.

I had started treating them as if they were my own family.

In short, I screwed up and got too close to them emotionally, and now all of them were looking up to me as a "father" figure, and not just a kind-hearted stranger who was only trying to help them find their families.

And now I was beginning to realize just how badly I had f_cked up, because here I was kneeling on the ground in the dark, with death all around, holding a young teenage girl in my arms sobbing because she had been so upset at watching me nearly getting killed just a couple of hours ago, as I was trying to help her and her friends.

And because he had been so upset at believing that she had just watched me die earlier that she had attacked me in anger for being what she thought was an act of pure recklessness.

And as I held her small body in my arms, I realized just how badly I had screwed up by being too friendly with them all. And especially, with this young girl who I had allowed myself to think of as my daughter, even though she wasn't.

I had been so stupid as to allow myself to find comfort for my own pain by treating them, and especially Saeko, like family.

And what was making this extremely hard now, was that their concern for me would make it harder for me to keep them safe if I had to take certain risks and they interfered because they didn't want me to get hurt.

And there was also the fact that when we did get to safety, I would have to let them go, and walk away again, with nothing.

And as I held Saeko in my arms, I dreaded that more than anything.

My feelings had already clouded my judgment before, and right now, when everyone should be on the move towards shelter, I had allowed Saeko a moment to talk to me instead of telling her to wait till later when it was safer.

And now I was holding her in my arms as she cried her eyes out, while every tick of the clock was putting us in more and more danger with thousands of Infected walking nearby 100 meters away.

But I couldn't help myself from wanting to comfort her, and if I could, I didn't want to even try.

All I saw and felt right now was the little girl with the pigtails that I had held crying in my arms in my dream on the riverbank earlier.

And now, here she was, crying in my arms for real as I tried to comfort her, finally getting the chance to be the loving father I had always prayed I would one day be.

I'm a pretty big guy. Not a giant by most standards, but taller than most in my family, except for my younger brother who's taller than I am.

Saeko was taller than the rest of the teens in the group, but she felt so tiny in my arms, and it wasn't hard at all to imagine her as the little girl in my dream, as much as I was wishing that she was.

But sadly for me, she wasn't my daughter.

And she definitely wasn't a child.

She was a strong, mature young woman.

And if I wanted her to survive, I had to stop treating her as if she were my own child, and let her go.

But as she cried so bitterly in my arms, my own heart was moved by her sadness and pain, and I couldn't bring myself to even think about detaching myself from her, despite the growing danger nearby.

I wanted to stay here as long as it took, and comfort her, even though we really needed to leave this area immediately.

But despite my better instincts to get moving quickly, I waited tell her weeping subsided, a part of me grateful for the fact that I had a "daughter" depending on me to protect and comfort her, when for so many years there had been none at all.

Eventually, she stopped crying, and I held her a moment longer in silence before I finally spoke.

"Saeko-chan." I said gently. "Are you okay now, sweetie?"

She didn't speak, just merely nodded her head in a "yes."

"I'm sorry I slapped you." Saeko said, her voice heavy with emotion.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about Saeko." I said as she looked up at me in surprise. "You did nothing wrong, hon."

"How can you say that?" She said to me the surprise in her voice very evident. "I hit you and said those horrible things."

I chuckled to myself before I answered her.

"Sweetie, if my family knew what I did today, my own mother would be beating me to a pulp." I replied.

"All you did was remind me how dumb I can be once I start doing things on my own and don't listen to people smarter than me." I said tapping her on the forehead.

"You were right hon." I admitted. "Shoulda listened to you in the first place and not gone off by myself."

"So, you were right to smack me around." I said smiling.

Saeko looked at me without reaction at first, until I snickered, then she actually laughed herself as well.

Saeko released herself from my embrace and then moved over, kneeling to my right side, staring off into the distance towards the horde of Infected that were still shuffling, towards the fleeing masses, although I think she did it more for my benefit so that I could scan for danger while we talked.

"I'm sorry I said I hated you." She said being serious.

"That's alright." I replied. "You didn't mean it."

"You didn't mean it, right?" I asked after she had not answered right away.

"No." She replied. "I was just very upset. "

"But please tell me Jimu-san, why did you jump? You did not have to do that. You could have done something else till we could rescue you."

I sighed knowing she would not like my answer. But I wasn't going to lie to her either.

"My one thought as I was hanging there Saeko-chan." I replied. "Was for you to live."

"And I knew, of everyone in this little group of ours, you would not have stopped trying to rescue me." I said. "And you would have died trying to do exactly that."

"And none of you are going to die for me."

" I won't let that happen as long as I'm alive." I said. "It is the duty of the protector to risk and if necessary, lose his life for the people he is protecting. As a student of Kendo, you of all people should understand that."

"The proud tradition of the Samurai is held in extremely high regard in Japan, and your being a student of Kendo, I'm sure you were raised to understand the whole principles behind strength, duty, loyalty, honor, and sacrifice, correct?" I asked.

Saeko didn't reply and I realized that she was pondering seriously on my words. I did what must be done for the group's safety. Everything I did was for their benefit.

If I were a Samurai warrior, it would not have been her place to say anything, nor would anyone else have been able to respond the way they had earlier.

I had done something few people would, and for my efforts, I had been chastised severely for it. While I understood their reasons for the way they reacted, the friends and family of a Samurai warrior would not have questioned the motives or tactics he used to carry out his duty. And if he died, they would have honored his sacrifice.

They may have all thought the guy was an idiot, but they wouldn't have said it out loud. And they would have praised his noble sacrifice, no matter what.

And for Saeko, raised in that Tradition, it must be extremely rough for her right now, realizing just how much she had strayed off the path, and had reacted with so much emotion instead of the usual dignified stoicism we Westerners usually imagine when we think of the Samurai way of life.

When I met her at the school, she had acted so quiet, level-headed, and mature. She had fought like a veteran, her movements clean, precise, devastating, and yet beautiful to watch.

And in less than a day she had been reduced from that perfect image of a proud warrior from a Samurai clan, to an emotionally troubled teenager. All for worrying about the life of a burnt-out, lonely, old man who didn't belong in this country in the first place.

She was beating herself up inside over it and it was killing me too because I knew it was all my fault.

Time to reverse the damage I'd done, if it wasn't already too late.

"I've always had a high respect for the Samurai, and the principles they were supposed to live by. But there is one thing I never cared for." I began, hoping what I was saying sounded convincing enough.

"What's that?" Saeko asked.

"The whole "to serve" without question, thing." I replied. "There are VERY few people in this world that I would gladly follow anywhere, much less die for. And to die for someone that has no honor just because you are an honorable person and the circumstances dictate you must sacrifice yourself for that jackass?"

"Nah, not me." I said 'Although the entire principle of Bushido I do highly respect and those who live by it honorably."

"But when I studied Budo, I turned towards Togakure Ryu Ninpo as my preferred fighting art."

"You've studied the Art of the Shinobi?" Saeko asked, in disbelief.

"Well, I studied every book I could find from Dr. Maasaki Hatsumi, and Stephen K. Hayes, but actual Ninpo schools were unheard of back then in Texas. So basically, I had to teach myself what little I know from what I read and then practice alone."

"I am nowhere near your level of skill, though." I said laughing.

"But why study the Ninja?" Saeko asked, realizing I was serious and not just joking.

"The whole principle of being invisible and fighting in the shadows really appealed to me." I replied.

"It's also one of the reasons I became interested in Special Operations." I continued. " Think about it. Being an elite warrior amongst a small band of other warriors like yourself deep behind enemy lines, striking without warning, and disappearing into the shadows."

"C'mon, you can't tell me that doesn't sound pretty cool."

"Besides, I've always liked being a bit of a rogue." I said good-humoredly.

"I would never have guessed that."Saeko said quietly.

Sarcasm has a way of being so irritatingly dignified when it comes from a person of Samurai heritage.

I stared at her as she returned my stare with a serious face.

There was just enough light for her to see me stick my tongue out at her and she finally cracked up, although she covered her mouth with her hand so as not to laugh out loud and give our position away.

"Brat." I said chuckling, as I put my arm around her shoulder and gave her a quick hug.

Shizuka had been watching from the bottom of the hill at the two shadowy figures at the top of the hill kneeling side by side while Takashi was talking to the other teens and discussing their plans on traveling to Rika's condo. Since she would be riding with Komuro, and already knew the way, she had decided to walk to the bottom of the hill and check on the two after putting on the sneakers that the American had scavenged. They were quite comfortable, Shizuka had to admit, and she barely felt any discomfort from the blister anymore.

And as she silently watched the two figures embrace each other and then continue speaking in hushed voices, she smiled knowing that all was forgiven between the young teen and the big man.

"Thank goodness." Shizuka thought, watching them. "I was beginning to worry when Busujima-san didn't return with Komuro-kun."

"He really is a kind man." Shizuka thought as she saw the American wrap his arm around the young girl's shoulder and gave her another friendly squeeze. "I'm definitely going to introduce him to Rika when I see her again."

A bone-numbing chill went up Rika Minami's spine despite the searing heat of the bath water she had been soaking in, causing her to sneeze fitfully three times in succession once again.

"DAMN YOU, SHIZUKA!" The people walking outside the dorm walls heard her roar.

"What the hell is she getting me into NOW, of all times?!" Rika said as she shivered in the near boiling bath water.

Saeko watched as the American opened a pocket in his combat vest and pulled out a small tube of some sort, and taking off a cap on the end of it, started rubbing some sort of dark paste all over his face.

"What is that?" Saeko asked as the skin on the man's face darkened.

"Green Camo paint." The man replied, returning the tube to his pocket and then smearing the dark paint all over his face, neck, and ears, until all of his exposed skin was covered.

"Why are you wearing that?" Saeko asked worried. "Do you expect trouble from someone besides "Them"?"

"Hopefully not." I replied. "But if our friends from this afternoon return or anyone like them, then I'd rather they not see me before I see them."

"Do you really think they'll come back?" Saeko asked staring instinctively out into the darkness as I looked at her and smiled at my brave little warrior while she searched for danger, a strong sense of pride running through me as a father would I suppose at seeing his child putting into practice the lessons the child had been taught, and then shook off my feelings realizing once again I was getting too emotionally involved again.

Saeko was a brave girl, and despite her getting all worked up over this old fool nearly getting killed this afternoon, she was more level-headed and wise beyond her years than the others, and immediately understood that their really was a strong possibility of another attack from the same street gang or one similar to the ones we encountered earlier.

But still, I saw no reason to scare her with what was really only a hunch that I had.

In all the years I've served as a Paramedic and then later as a Firefighter, I have witnessed so many things that people are capable of doing that defy logic sometimes.

And to this day, I still can't understand what caused people to do the things they did when we arrived.

We made a joke of it and called it "job security."

But believe me, there isn't a day that goes by where a policeman, paramedic, or firefighter somewhere in the world doesn't go "WTF?" several times a day during his shift.

There had been no logic behind the attack on the teens earlier. Those people were only interested in violence and rape, and nothing else in the middle of an apocalypse where logic would dictate SURVIVAL. Not criminal behavior. But again, sometimes logic does NOT apply when it comes to certain people.

And now that five of their number were cooling off on the road upriver, I was certain the ones still alive would want some payback.

Logic dictates that after watching your friends get killed in front of you, and almost nearly getting killed yourself, that the last thing you'd ever want to do is to go ANYWHERE near the group of people that were so well protected, and risk getting shot at again.

But again, some human beings have a tendency to defy logic sometimes.

And with a group of teenage children and one school nurse favoring a sore foot, I wasn't taking any chances.

"Better safe than sorry, sweetie." I replied, smearing the camo paint on.

After I had camo'ed my face, ears and neck, I reached into my pack and pulled out the head mount for my night scope.

"What's that, you have now?" Saeko asked. She was acting more like a kid now, wanting to see all the cool stuff I had. I grinned as I unscrewed the small scope mount from the scope.

"It's a head mount for the night scope. " I explained. "Whenever, I walk patrol at night, I prefer to be able to see where I'm going, especially on a dark night like tonight. So instead of keeping it mounted on my carbine, I have it on my head, where I can flip it up or down so I can use it."

I clipped the scope to the head mount and then flipped it down making sure it was comfortable. I then reached in the pack again and pulled out a dark blue boonie hat that had been issued to me back when I was still a fireman. I was checking my carbine when I heard Takashi coming back up the hill towards us.

"I'm back." He said, puffing a bit. "I told everyone where we were going and what we were doing, and everyone understands the plan. I came back like you said, to show you the location of where we're going and the second place we're going to in case it's too dangerous at the first location."

"Good job son, hold on for a second." I said, as I reached into my pack and pulled out a heavy green plastic poncho.

"My goodness." Saeko thought as she watched the American unfold the poncho. "What doesn't he have in that bag of his?"

"What's that for?" Takashi asked, eyeing the poncho in the man's hands.

"Saeko." I said as I unclipped the night scope from the headset and passed it to her. "Keep watch while Takashi and I look at the map."

"Let's scoot down the hill a bit buddy." I said to Takashi as he followed behind. As soon as we were below the edge of the top of the hill I stopped and motioned Takashi to come near me before I threw the poncho over us, completely covering us.

I then took out a small red penlight from my pocket and clicked it on.

"What are you doing?" Takashi asked, extremely curious.

"The red light helps preserve my night vision, plus with the poncho covering us, we can read the map without giving our position away."

"Is there someone stalking us?" Takashi asked wide-eyed.

Boy, this kid sure was a little jumpy all of a sudden wasn't he?

Well, he wasn't the only one.

"Naw, but its good practice nonetheless." I replied, although I wasn't really sure about someone NOT stalking us. "Now, show me what ya got."

After a few quiet moments, Saeko heard Takashi and the American returning.

"See anything sweetie?" The man asked her as he took the night scope from her hand and clipped it to the strange device he wore on his head.

"Just an entire city full of Infected moving Towards Tokonosu Bashi, but nothing else moving out there that I could see." Saeko replied.

"Good. Takashi, take Saeko downhill with the others and give her the details of the plan." I said looking at them both. Let Saeko and everyone get about 100 meters ahead of you before you start the engine and take off, OK?"

Takashi nodded his head, as I continued speaking.

"Saeko-chan, take the group out and stay close to the side of the hill as you walk. If something happens, all of you hide in the grass until I tell you it's all clear, or I tell you to RUN, understand?"

'Hai." Saeko replied, although the tone of her voice didn't inspire any confidence in me that she was too keen on my being alone again.

Time for another pep talk I guess.

"Look you two." I said gently. "The lives of everyone here is depending on the two of you being able to maintain control of your doubts, your emotions, and your fears."

"So focus on your plan, and remember your back-up plan if something happens. And if something happens that you're not able to handle, BACK OFF, and we'll work something out."

"You're not alone out there, remember that." I said.

"But you are, and I don't like it." Saeko thought.

"Will we be able to see you or find you if we need you?" Saeko asked.

"I'll be right behind trailing you from up here." I replied. "So if something happens, I'll know right away.

"But as far as seeing me, hopefully not." I said grinning.

"The "Shadow Warrior" is a warrior that prefers to remain unseen. Our art is the Art of Invisibility, and those who live in the shadows must be able to move unseen, and strike without warning." I said, doing my HORRIBLE impression of Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

"This is Nin-Po."

"This is The Way of the NIN-JA."

Saeko giggled despite herself.

"This man can be so goofy sometimes." She thought to herself.

"Now that's what I like to hear." The American said looking at her.

"What's that?" Saeko asked puzzled by his remark.

"Your being happy and laughing, that's what." I replied.

"It's good to hear you laugh." I said as I saw Saeko turn her head a little embarrassed at my words, I guess.

"Ok guys, time to go." I said being serious. "Remember the plan, take your time, be careful and watch out for each other. And we'll be okay."

"Be careful son." I told Takashi as I shook his hand.

"Hai." He said taking my hand in both of his and bowing.

I returned his bow, and then looked over towards Saeko.

"Saeko-chan, you be careful too sweetie. And remember, I'm right here watching you."

Saeko looked at me for a long moment without responding, and then grabbed my arm, squeezing it so tightly; it felt like a death grip.

"Jimu-san promise me you won't do something stupid again!" She said, her voice sounding so grief-stricken, I knew I had not better make any type of joke right now, even though I was a little put out by her describing my earlier actions to keep everyone safe as stupid.

Not reckless, not risky, not even dumb.

Stupid.

Ah well.

I sighed as I gave her a hug. She wasn't crying, but I could tell just how badly she feared for my safety by the way she was shaking.

It was like a knife to the gut.

This normally proud, strong, young woman who had shown so much strength and courage in the past two days was completely unsettled because she was worrying about me.

And the guilt I felt for causing her to be affected in such a way so deeply, tore me up inside.

Most young children I ever met in the field back when I was a fireman were difficult to approach sometimes. When a child is hurt by an adult and you need to treat the child, it's not unexpected when the child reacts in fear because the child doesn't trust you.

Especially when you're a six foot monster like me. But being the senior medic on most calls, it was my job to make contact and handle the situation.

But when you do gain the trust of a child, it's heartbreaking to find out just how badly they've been injured, and then because you've gained their trust, they bond with you, and are afraid to go anywhere else without you.

And the cries they make, as EMS or Child Protective Services and the Police have to take them away without you just rips your guts out.

Especially for a person like me who loves kids and has always wanted a family of my own, and has to sit there watching so-called "parents" treat one of God's greatest gifts to mankind, as nothing more than something they scraped off their shoe.

It happens more times than you think, and more times than I care to remember.

Teenagers are even more cautious around adults than most people would think.

As they go through that wonderful, yet confusing, and often frustrating part of their lives, growing up from childhood to becoming strong, independent adults. Most teens become less responsive to adults, many becoming more withdrawn.

Or, they may be outgoing and happy on the surface, but are really troubled deep down, nonetheless.

Few teens will open themselves up to an adult unless they REALLY feel they can trust them.

And now I had a whole group of teens more worried about my safety than they were about their own, it seemed.

And this young woman grabbing my arm was more worried than the rest.

Scratch that. She was SCARED.

"Takashi." I said looking at him again. "Give us a moment will ya buddy? Saeko will be down in a minute."

The teen nodded and once again hurried down to the others below.

I pulled off my hat and NOD, and placed them on the ground and then gazed into Saeko's face.

"Saeko-chan." I said as I leaned closer to her. "I promise you sweetie. I won't do anything STUPID."

Like I said, Saeko was wise beyond her years and saw the loophole in my answer.

"You know what I mean!" Saeko said.

"You must promise me that you won't take any unnecessary risks! That you won't do anything unsafe! PROMISE me you'll call for help first! Prom_.

"SAEKO!" I said interrupting her as I hugged her once more.

"It'll be okay. Don't worry, honey." I said as I held the girl realizing that Saeko's worry over me was much worse than I imagined.

"PROMISE ME!" Saeko said her voice straining to keep from shouting.

"I promise honey. I promise." I said as she painfully dug into my arm.

I realized then at that moment, that unless I did something now, she was only going to get herself killed because all her focus would be on me instead of the people in her charge.

I couldn't let this continue any further.

Many times in my career I had to convince people that going to the hospital was for their own good despite the fact that the person would always argue that they felt fine, no matter the fact that they were the ones who dialed 911 in the first place.

Sometimes when reasoning wouldn't work, I had to pull some half-baked excuse to try to knock some sense into someone.

Saeko was a good girl with a heart of gold underneath the Warrior image. And as cheesy as my next few words would sound, perhaps I could convince her to focus on her own life and that of her friends, and not worry about a lonely old man who had taken a bunch of children under his wing because he had no children of his own.

After all unlike them, I was expendable.

"Do you know what my favorite movie is Saeko-chan?" I asked finally coming up with an idea I prayed would be enough to convince the girl to move on without me.

"No." She said not raising her head. "She probably thought I was nuts for bringing up such a weird subject as that in the middle of all this, but I had a good reason.

"The Last Samurai. With Ken Watanabe and Tom Cruise." I replied. "Absolutely love that movie."

"Why are you telling me this?" Saeko asked, still looking at me and obviously confused by my words.

""Because there are two scenes in it that really moved my heart. Matter of fact, they moved me to tears."

"What scenes are those?" Saeko asked, probably wondering where this conversation was headed.

"The main scene that choked me up was the scene where actor Ken Watanabe as Lord Katsumoto is leading his men on horseback through Edo, and everyone is bowing to the Samurai as they ride slowly through the street. It was a beautiful scene that I thought paid such HUGE respect to such noble warriors. It choked me up seeing them portrayed so strong, so powerful, so dignified, and so NOBLE."

"Still chokes me up every time." I said as she looked at me. "The soundtrack was kick-ass too."

Saeko laughed a little at my comment, but I still had a point to make.

"My point is hon, that's your heritage. The strength, loyalty, pride, and honor of those noble warriors runs in your veins. There are thousands of people around the world who admire the Samurai and what they stood for, and so do I."

"I've seen you fight, and I've seen your strength and courage when everyone was threatened. I've also seen how wise and compassionate you are towards everyone, including me. And I knew that you were the perfect choice to help lead this group, and I want you to know, I really have a lot of faith in you, because I know the warrior that you really are."

"I can't tell you how moved I am that all of you care about me so much. But worrying about me is a distraction you do not need. And I could not live with myself if any of you got hurt trying to help me."

"Look hon,I'm not some decrepit old man who needs help walking down the street Saeko-chan. I'm an old man sure, compared to a teenager. But I'm not that ancient and helpless."

"I am a mercenary remember? A man who gets paid to fight."

"You have to stop worrying about me. Your duty now is to those people down there, and you must remain focused on the task at hand, and you must not be distracted by anything else right now, do you understand?"

"Hai." Saeko said quietly, still hesitant.

My words weren't reaching her quite as well as I had hoped.

Time to lay it all out and really speak from the heart now.

"BUSUJIMA, SAEKO!" I said sternly through gritted teeth." You are the descendent of a proud group of elite warriors that have fought and died with honor throughout history. This is no time to allow yourself to be distracted by petty worries."

Saeko flinched at the sudden change in my voice, but it was the only way left for me to try to reach her.

"Give me your hand." I told her.

Saeko offered her hand as a lady would offer a man, gingerly and with the palm down.

"That type of hand you're offering me is indeed the proper etiquette for a lady of a Samurai House." I said lifting my hand up till it was level with her face.

"I want the hand of the warrior who I am honored and proud to be fighting with by her side."

Saeko looked at me, and then comprehending finally, slammed her hand in mine and clasped my hand in the universal gesture of camaraderie that warriors share together.

"My real name is Jim T_." I said, and I could tell that even though the darkness concealed her face, she was still shocked to hear my words.

"My real identity I have kept secret until now. Of everyone else here, I have absolute trust in you, and I will only reveal this truth to you."

"Do you however, trust me, Saeko-chan?"

"Hai." Saeko replied.

"What are the Seven Virtues of Bushido?" I asked her firmly.

Saeko stared at me for a moment confused, I suppose, by my question.

"WHAT are the Seven Virtues of BUSHIDO, BUSUJIMA, SAEKO?" I hissed.

Saeko looked at me for a moment, and then answered.

"Gi." She said quietly.

"RECTITUDE." I said aloud.

"Yuuki." She said with more conviction.

"COURAGE." I said just as loud, translating her words in English as she recited the seven virtues of Bushido in Japanese.

"JIN!" She said gripping my hand tighter.

"BENEVOLENCE."

"REI!"

"RESPECT."

"MAKOTO!"

"HONESTY."

"MEIYO!"

"HONOR."

"CHUGI!"

"LOYALTY." I said gazing upon her as I could see the visible change in her demeanor.

"BUSUJIMA, SAEKO." I said. "You are a warrior, and you have been entrusted with the lives of your comrades. It is your DUTY to help those who cannot help themselves. Can I count on you?"

"HAI!" Saeko said her voice filled with courage and conviction.

"You are of Samurai blood Busujima-san. A warrior of noble blood and the task before you is difficult. Can I trust you?"

"HAI!"

"As warriors, we fight for those who cannot fight for themselves, yes?" I said looking at her face.

"HAI!"

"And also as warriors, we protect those who cannot protect themselves, agreed?"

"HAI!"

"We do this not because we seek glory, but because we feel that it is our duty."

"HAI!"

"Our profession is an honorable one, and we are honorable people."

"HAI!"

"And if we die while carrying out our duty?"

"WE DIE WITH HONOR!" Saeko finished.

"We are warriors, Saeko-chan." I said gently. "And it is time to do our duty."

"HAI!" Saeko said, squeezing my hand even tighter, her voice no longer shaky, no longer unsure of herself.

She was no longer weakened with worry over some stranger she had bonded with because her own father wasn't here.

She wasn't a four-year old child in pigtails from some lonely man's dream either.

She was the same strong, courageous young woman I had met only yesterday, the same as she had always been before.

For most of her life she had lived and breathed the warrior's code.

When the Outbreak had occurred, she had been the only one in her entire school mentally and emotionally prepared to deal with the horror around her and had fought like a lion keeping her friends safe. But she was also wise beyond her years, and had seen to the emotional and physical needs of everyone around her as well.

But all those years of mental and emotional discipline had come unhinged after watching me nearly die right in front of her, and her knowing that I had purposefully let go of the railing so that she wouldn't die trying to help me.

It had caused her to experience an emotional overload that she had been unable to deal with.

Even the strongest, most dedicated warrior will experience a time where they hit a wall they can't handle alone, and need help from someone to help them get over it, both figuratively and literally.

I had been the cause of Saeko's stumbling block. And now, in a small way, I had helped her get over the emotional block that was holding her back.

The fear, the worry, the emotional stumbling block that had caused such an upset in her was now gone.

Her confidence, her inner strength had re-surfaced.

My words had finally reached her heart, and had reminded her of who she was.

She was herself again, strong, confident, and fearless.

And then instead of leaving well enough alone and because I'm an idiot, I did something really stupid.

I hadn't meant any harm, and I guess I did it because my heart ached for a child of my own.

Or maybe it was because I wanted to pass something down to Saeko to remember me by.

Or maybe because I was feeling so alone, I guess.

And so after finally reaching through to this girl and convincing her to be strong,...I screwed everything up.

Because at that particular moment I was also so very proud of her.

And once again, I treated her as if she were my baby girl, and I reached over and gently put my other hand on the back of her head as I rested my forehead against hers.

It is a bonding gesture among husbands and wives, and amongst parents and children of the Native American people of my country.

And it is a bonding ritual that I had also wished to share with my own wife, and my own child.

And because I was thinking with my heart instead of my head, I shared that bond with Saeko, whom I now loved as my daughter.

And if I had only realized the damage it would do later, I would have stopped before I began.

But I was a lonely fool with no family of my own.

And now, I had a "daughter" that I was beginning to care deeply about.

Like I said, I'm an idiot.

And as I held her, I spoke from my heart, not realizing the effect it would have later on this poor teenage girl who was more vulnerable than I realized.

"It is an honor for me to live and fight by your side Busujima, Saeko."

"And it is my honor to live and fight by your side Jimu T_." Saeko replied, as I felt her place her other hand on the back of my head in the same gesture of affection.

Nothing has ever touched me to my heart as deeply as that moment did, or ever will.

Only those who have fought and survived tragedy together could understand the feeling.

The gesture was not just affection. Its meaning was more profound.

We had bonded as fellow warriors, heart, strength, mind, and soul.

Few bonds are closer, or more unique than that.

After a moment, we embraced each other in a hug once more, and then it was time to go.

"It's time to go, Saeko. And don't worry, I'll be near, and I promise you, we will survive this." I managed to say, trying hard to keep from choking up.

"Hai." Saeko said quietly as she removed herself from my embrace.

I listened to her move quietly behind me as I stared out into the darkness, not wanting to watch her go.

I had managed to convince her to leave and to focus on her life and the lives of the other teens below. If I were back in the Fire Dept. and I had just convinced another person to think of their own safety like I just had with Saeko, I would have called this a success.

Instead, I felt really guilty about what I had just done.

Because in reality, I had unintentionally deceived her just because I thought it would save her life.

"The Last Samurai" is indeed my favorite movie, but truth be told, the noble image of the samurai in that film was panned by many critics, particularly those from Japan no less.

And while I do admire the spirit of the Samurai values, in reality as Japan's ruling elite for centuries, the samurai were not so highly admired by the people in the lower classes as was portrayed n the Tom Cruise movie.

To be fair, many Samurai did indeed live by the values they honored and treated others fairly and protected those living on their lands.

But all you would have to do is watch enough Japanese cinema to realize that was not always the case with others.

Just by watching my two favorite actors Toshiro Mifune and Shintaro Katsu of Zatoichi fame was enough to convince me that some of the Samurai didn't quite live up to those lofty standards they preached about.

But to motivate Saeko to not worry about me, I essentially lied to her about what I really felt.

And even though it worked, I felt like such a bastard after she left, and I was ashamed to look her in the face.

But there was also another reason I couldn't face her either.

I couldn't look back because my eyes were burning with tears as I heard her walk away.

It had only been two days that I had been with these teenagers, and already I was falling apart at the thought of losing them.

From the time I turned eighteen to now at forty-five, I had longed to be a husband and father, and for twenty-eight years of my life I returned to an empty home.

And in just two days, these young people, and in particular, this one young girl had filled the void that had been absent in my heart for so long.

And it was tearing me apart as well.

But as much as I wished it, Saeko was still the daughter of someone else. And it hurt like hell knowing soon she and the others would be back in the arms of their family, and I'd have to move on with my life again, alone.

"Jimu-san?" I heard Saeko say behind me interrupting my thoughts.

"Yeah, sweetie?" I replied, blinking back my tears hoping she wouldn't notice me being a big baby right now, especially after that big inspirational speech I'd given about being brave and all that.

"You said there were two scenes in that movie that moved you to tears. What was the other one?''

Saeko looked at the shadow of the man still kneeling at the top of the hill. For a moment she grew concerned when the American did not immediately answer her. Then she heard the man chuckle as he finally spoke.

"Oh, that." The man replied.

"The "Ninja Attack" scene of course, sweetie." He replied.

"They finally make a movie with a really cool ninja battle scene using realistic ninja tactics and fighting styles without all that magical silliness you see in all the really bad ninja movies and animes."

"And then the Samurai just wiped them out."

"It just wasn't fair. I cried for days."

Saeko nearly burst out laughing at the American's completely unexpected reply. As it was, she had to hold both hands over her mouth in order to muffle the sound of her voice as her eyes teared up from laughing so hard.

After a few moments Saeko finally gained control of herself and looked back up toward the top of the hill to respond to the man's silly comment. But the large shadow of the man was no longer there where she had last seen him.

He had simply vanished into the night without a sound.

Saeko was at first alarmed by his sudden disappearance and thought of calling out to him. But then stopped herself.

Not only would have it been dangerous of her to call his name out loud and thus accidentally give the man's position away, but she also realized that she had almost called out to him because of the same fear the man had tried so hard to help her overcome.

"No." Saeko said to herself staring at the spot where the man had disappeared.

"He trusts me to fulfill my duty to the others." Saeko thought. "And I must respect his faith and trust in me and place my faith and trust in him as well, and not worry."

"Besides, "Shadow Warriors" are supposed to melt into the night and vanish, even one as silly as that one." Saeko giggled.

Saeko Busujima bowed towards the spot where the American had been, and spoke from the innermost depths of her heart.

"Domo arigato gozaimas, Jimu-san." Saeko said as she bowed low for a moment in gratitude to the man that had done more for her than he would ever truly realize.

Saeko then quietly walked down the hill and joined the others who immediately surrounded and embraced their friend, now that she had returned.

Kneeling in the knee-high grass away from the edge of the hill carefully scanning the area behind the people under his protection, a lone figure shrouded in darkness spoke in a language not his own.

"Do itashimashite….watashi no musume." The shadowy figure said sadly.

("You're welcome… my daughter.")

I watched the small group of teens led by Saeko and with Kouta acting as rear guard, as they walked down the dimly lit road leading to the section of the city that would lead us to the condo that we would be spending the night, hopefully keeping us safe from the walking death that prowled the streets. It was less than two miles away, but a lot could happen in that distance as any Military personnel can tell you.

The fireman I once was, was gone.

The mercenary I was now would have to be fully focused, and ready to act. The danger had increased a hundredfold with darkness now fallen upon us and there was no telling what we'd face getting there or how safe the condo would be once we arrived. Either way, I needed to be ready for anything and hope that I was good enough to protect the group from whatever dangers we would face.

Overconfidence in one's abilities' can kill a man just as easily as a bullet, so I pushed myself to be cautious and move quietly and stay hidden from all eyes as best as I could. It's not easy for a rookie PMC to avoid being silhouetted by the lights of the city in an open field with no vegetation around except the knee-high grass I walked through.

But with the streets mostly clear of civilians trying to hide from the Infected, I was not in as much danger as if I were a commando trying to avoid detection while deep behind enemy lines.

America was not at war with Japan, as far as I knew anyway, and I was not worried about making contact with enemy combatants anyway. The Infected, and people stupid enough or crazy enough to pose a threat to the teens was my main concern.

As the teens walked down the road, I followed them for about 50 meters before I knelt down in the grass keeping watch and waiting for the sound of Takashi's motorcycle engine to start, once the teens had walked another 50 meters and Takashi started her up.

I was watching the horde of Infected through my NOD as they continued to move forward towards the sound of all those people who were so desperately trying to run away from the Infected.

And as I heard Takashi drive by I was happy to see that none of "Them" had reacted to the sound of the motorbike.

"Well done, kids." I thought as I stood up and started trailing behind Saeko's small band, walking in a sort of "zig-zag" pattern 50 meters behind, trailing them from on top of the hill just out of their sight.

It was actually more of a" sawtooth"pattern of walking actually.

I would walk in a long line towards the teens so I could check on them, and then I would gradually break off to my left towards the field remaining out of sight, and then gradually head back towards the teens. The reason for this is because the changes I made would make it harder for someone to track me if I was being followed, and I could spot him too, once I changed direction, and also checking my rear every so often.

Sounds confusing, but it works, because walking in a straight line is a BIG no-no.

Walking in a straight line is death in combat from what I had learned from the guys in GREEN Team.

That and using the same route back.

"Never do that again ya stupid wanker." My mentor and best friend Andrew, formerly of 22nd Reg. SAS had bawled me out for doing just that, on a practice exercise.

"What are ya trying to do? Hand your arse over to the enemy by walking straight in, making a really nice trail that everyone can see, and then come right back out the same way you came in? Geez, you Yanks are dumb."

If I had been a new recruit that had just passed Selection for the SAS and made that kind of mistake, I shudder to think what the "Boys from Hereford" would have done to me.

Well, I got off light actually, just with the chewing out and the calisthenics afterwards. And of course, I never did the same thing again.

And as I continued my lone patrol, I tried to remain focused on what I was doing as if I really was in combat in enemy territory.

Overconfidence can kill, but being sloppy will without a doubt, end your life as well as those with you. So I pushed myself hard to avoid being careless. But in truth, I was plagued by the thoughts that kept nagging me in the back of my head.

For one, the situation I was in with the teens reminded me of another movie that I loved to watch. "The Magnificent Seven" which was an American re-make of the Japanese classic by Akira Kurosawa "The Seven Samurai."

In the American version, one of the mercenary gunmen played by actor Charles Bronson was a character named "Bernardo", a gunfighter who was actually a pretty decent fellow. In the movie, he had given a flute he made to a little girl, and he had even been "adopted" by a group of small village boys that looked up to him as a hero.

That small part of the movie was VERY similar to my current situation, and I had noticed the similarities awhile earlier and was a little troubled by it a bit.

That and another thing that was bothering me.

Just before I had slipped away into the darkness, I had lied to Saeko, twice.

My favorite scene in "The Last Samurai" was NOT the ninja scene, although that was pretty awesome too, by the way.

But my favorite scene besides the one where the Samurai rode into town, was the very last scene when actor Tom Cruise is walking up to the tiny village in the mountains and returns to the woman he loves and her two children. And the British actor Timothy Spall recites my favorite line from the movie.

"But I like to think he may have at last found some small measure of peace, that we all seek, and few of us ever find."

There are a few ways that my own life mimics the lives of those two characters in those movies.

And like Tom Cruise's character, Nathan Algren, I always hoped and prayed that I would find that "small measure of peace" that seemed to elude me all these years.

But now here I was, in a foreign country in the middle of the biggest clusterf_ck anyone could have ever possibly imagined, with five teens and one school nurse in tow. And the chances of finding that "small measure of peace" were looking a hell of a lot smaller.

I had lied to Saeko, mostly to keep her from worrying about me, and at the same time, I was trying desperately to sound upbeat even though her question had choked me up something fierce and it had been a struggle to make up something else to answer her with.

I didn't want her to know about that scene.

Saeko was a smart girl. And she would have figured out that the reason I loved that scene so much was because my own life had been so full of turmoil and pain from the things I've experienced that she probably would have pushed herself even more to try to help me from staying out of danger. And I didn't want her taking that risk.

Maybe I was overthinking things. But I didn't want to take that chance.

No, I would not take that chance, not with her life, and so I had lied.

And the second lie?

Well, that was when I made my promise to not take any more unnecessary risks any more.

Fearing that I would be killed, Saeko had made me promise that I wouldn't do anything risky while we were traveling enroute towards the condo of Shizuka's friend.

OKAY! I KNOW! Saeko had said "Promise me you won't do anything, STUPID."

What I did earlier to save everyone's lives WASN'T STUPID, OKAY?!

There, I said it.

Just don't tell Saeko.

I don't wanna get slapped again.

Anyway, I had promised Saeko I wouldn't do anything "stupid." What this really meant was, I would not put my life at risk for them again.

But the truth was even though I had made that promise, there was no way I would keep it.

It wasn't because I was determined to throw myself in harm's way every chance that danger would present itself, or that I had intentionally tried to deceive Saeko .

The truth is none of us knew what would happen before our journey together ended.

I hoped fervently that in the end, everyone would be safe, and maybe I would find that ever elusive happiness and contentment just like Nathan Algren.

But unfortunately I had to admit, the chances were even better that it was beginning to look more and more like my fate would be the same as "Bernardo's", who towards the end of the movie, when the battle was all but won and everyone was safe, while trying to keep the young boys from getting hurt Bernardo is killed right in front of them.

My reasons for that fear were because of one simple truth that was tipping the scales in that direction, as I froze in midstep.

When I was a teenager, I wanted only two things in life. A career in the Military as a SEAL, and a family of my own.

When I came to that crossroad in my life of which direction I would take, I went the opposite of where I really wished to go, and that decision has plagued me ever since, even though I had chosen a profession that I was still very proud of and I hoped had helped make a positive difference in the lives of the people who called for help.

But throughout my life, I have always wondered what my life would have been like if I had just been man enough to stand my ground, and walk away from the things that had forced me not to follow my dream.

And I'll always wonder what my life would have been like if I had gone through with it, and pursued my dream and had made it into the Teams after all.

I will always be plagued by that unanswerable question.

Later, I came across another crossroads in my life when I chose to leave the Fire Service and become a PMC, and tried to somewhat reverse the decision I had made so long ago.

It wasn't the same as being in the SEAL Teams. But it was as close as I was ever going to get to working alongside men I greatly admired.

Even though none of them were frogmen themselves.

Dammit.

I still considered it an honor like no other, and I was thrilled to be among them, even though it had been short-lived.

But now, I was at another crossroads in my life, and the choice was whether to escape and evade and link up with the guys at the American Embassy, or to stop and help these young teens and their nurse struggling to survive even though it was likely I might die in the effort.

I had made my choice without hesitation. A crucial decision that would have far-reaching consequences that I had no clue of at the time.

The decision had put me in so much danger, my head was still reeling just from what had happened in the past few hours.

And one of the consequences of that decision was here to bite me in the butt all over again, before I could even catch my breath it seemed.

After about 20 minutes of traveling together, with me still trailing behind the teens as I made my way through the grassy field, I spotted them in my NOD moving quickly across the field in the darkness headed directly towards the kids coming from the opposite direction.

My hunch had been right.

There was danger from others besides the Infected out here. And they had just entered the scene, stage left.

My lying to Saeko hadn't been intentional. I really hate lying, even though I've had to stretch the truth over the years.

But I couldn't keep that promise to Saeko. Not without putting her and the others at risk as well.

And I just couldn't do that, not to them.

And most certainly, not to my "daughter."

"I'm sorry baby. But there are no promises in combat." I said, as I moved quickly and quietly to intercept the new threat.

Author's Notes:

Well at long last, the end of "Crossroads", but not the end of the story.

It was never my intention to have Saeko be a cry-baby throughout the story. But I did want to forge the bond between Saeko and Jim, and I hope I accomplished that by what I've written.

As I was wondering how I'd go about finishing "Crossroads" my favorite movie "The Last Samurai came out on TV again, and again, I drew inspiration for how Jim would help Saeko get through her emotional block and cement the bond between them.

I have been recommended a few songs from readers that were suggested for some of the chapters in my fanfic and they've been nice to hear.

I was listening to "Idyll's End" from the soundtrack, and to me, it REALLY set the pace and the mood for when Saeko and Jim are reciting the Seven Virtues of Bushido as Jim is trying to re-inspire Saeko to remember who she really is at heart.

I highly recommend listening to it at least for that scene. The part in the track I used to write that scene starts at 4:50.

And for the Rika fans, I tossed in another cameo, as well as a cameo by a certain friend of mine from across the "Pond."

"Crossroads." Is just another chapter in my fanfic that grew much bigger than I imagined, and I hope you have all enjoyed what you've read.

For all of you that take the time to write a review, my sincerest THANKS!

For those of you who read my fanfic, my sincerest THANKS to all of you as well.

I would still love to hear from more of you.

The next chapter will focus on the trip to Rika's condo, and the group finally getting there.

Thanks again for your support!

Next Chapter: Last Alarm – Chapter 19- "Death in the tall grass."