I Do Not Own Mass Effect

Chapter Seven: The Butcher

The boy never knew that he was truly in love. Not until it was too late. He regretted never telling the girl… likewise for her. Deep inside she had known but had feared that if she had said anything… the friendship they shared would go away. So she was content by just being next to him…

"Multiple bullet wounds, two on either side of left ventricle… extremely fatal. Moderate burns covering most of upper body… also fatal. Top left side of ribcage broken, number of ribs fractured three, internal bleeding caused by bones rupturing organs likely, again fatal…"

"Mordin!"

"Sorry, calculating odds of survival. Low at best."

"Can he be saved?"

"Don't know, need time, surgery, blood transfusion, bone setting…so much needs doing… not looking good. Must begin operation now!"

Only until it was too late did they know that they would rather risk everything than not have each other…

"Vital signs lowering, heart rate dropping, we're losing him!"

He never forgave himself for letting everything around him go away. The boy would blame himself for what had happened, for his parents, his sister… for what happened to the young girl he had come to love. Above all he regretted never telling her how he felt. In time he became hollow…lost in his pain and guilt. Yet that was what made him strong…

"De-fibbing!"

"Clear!"

It was also what broke him in the end. He remained alive but his innocence… his soul had been left behind in that farming town that was not far away nor close to any other. Those who looked into his eyes saw not the eyes of any living being but the eyes of a monster. His strength was his weakness. The boy had grown cold and uncaring. Not even the gentle guidance of the person who took him in could have changed what he had become. Only a fragment remained of who he once was.

"Again!"

"Alright, Clear!"

He became known throughout the galaxy as "The Butcher of Torfan." Even as his enemies around him surrendered he allowed none to live. He showed no mercy to those he deemed hostile or unfit to draw breath. With the blood of so many on his hands and the darkness in his heart The Butcher would ask if he was worthy of life when he took so much of it away. It was the one fragment of his inner self crying out for redemption.

"Dr. Chakwas… he's not coming back."

"Damn it Mordin! There is still…"

"Hope? Irrelevant. Too many wounds too advanced. Had low expectations. Afraid to admit it but Shepard is gone."

In the end death was his solace. The Butcher could only hope for death. He looked for it every time he was at war with his enemies and when he was at war with himself. Both to keep his sanity and whatever blood stained innocence that remained. All he had left was the hope that he would one day die to end his suffering… to end the monster he had become…

"There is always hope, Mordin!"

"Defibrillator failed to resuscitate, internal cybernetics failing… There is no hope. Ran numbers quadruple times mentally. Zero chance of saving Commander. Prepare crew for worst."

"Run your numbers again!"

Was it fair, was what happened to me fair? The Butcher would often times ask himself before ending another person's life. When he slaughtered all life on the planet Feros. The ends justified the means. When he murdered the Cerberus scientist that experimented on his old friend, Corporal Toombs… the ends justified the means. It always had. That was the only answer he found. The only one that was spoken by lips of the dead. His mission was to find hostiles and end them…simple…Until Presrop. Where he was forced to face his past and his actions.

The Butcher was ready to discard all life to achieve his objective yet again. However, things would not be so simple. For all his simplicity, for all of his regressed anger The Butcher could not face his former commanding officer. The squad mates at his side sensed it and they acted…stopping him from ending The Major's life.

"How shall we address the crew?"

"Truthfully. Commander Shepard would have appreciated it."

"What about Tali, Mordin?"

"Same as crew, Shepard is gone. Can offer comfort…could sing…sorry, trying to cut tension, taking failure hard…taking Commander's loss harder, good friend, great friend."

In the end had it not been for them The Butcher's soul may have been truly lost. The last piece of innocence that dwelled within him awakened and was finally allowed to be set free. Things were no longer as simple as they once were. The Butcher found that pulling the trigger and ending another's life was becoming difficult. His "squad" no his friends had instilled something inside of him. Something he thought he could no longer have. Hope.

"Let's start unhooking the… Mordin! Look!"

"Could be any number of technical bugs within EKG."

"There's cerebral activity Mordin. How is this even possible?"

"Medical miracle of this magnitude, myriad of possibilities. Delayed reaction to defibrillator, not likely. Divine intervention, probable but unlikely. Secondary nervous system… no not Krogan… Of course. Cybernetics is the key! Most likely explanation, most probable. Cerberus cybernetics built to ensure survival of Commander. Ability postpone or delay death. Could have negatively reacted to defibrillator caused systems to temporarily shut down. Now reactivated the cybernetics in theory are ensuring the commander's survival. Must confirm with Miranda."

"How come they didn't stabilize him sooner?"

"Damage to body severe. Any cybernetic life support structure must first access damage, calculate how to best determine repairs. All theory of course…and partial bit of hope. For now monitor Shepard, continue operation. Carefully."

The Butcher of Torfan was no longer a butcher of man. Even still the actions of the past cannot be forgotten nor can the consequences that would follow. With memories of the monster still fresh in The Butcher's mind he vowed to atone.

The memories of the girl so long ago would haunt him and remind The Butcher of the life he chose to lead. Making him stronger. The Butcher was able to stop his best friend The Angel from falling as once he had by preventing him from killing the one who betrayed him and his team. He was able to support the Convict through her turmoil and offer guidance. He managed convince the Mercenary that sacrificing innocent lives was not a means to end. Finally The Butcher was able to support the Engineer when her world was turning against her. Despite this his memories would remain. They always would. Yet that was what would make him strong enough to face his actions and accept them, to accept that he once was "The Butcher of Torfan." In this he found comfort if only temporarily.