Chapter 77

"Hey sweet girl." Alex greeted Phoebe when she woke up. Phoebe was staring at her surroundings before smiling up at her mother. "Yeah, we're not at home anymore. You were tired when we came here yesterday. You and I are gonna stay here for a while." She said softly as her eyes started to blur and new tears threatened to spill at any moment. She spent half the night crying and not being able to sleep because her mind was racing. She wasn't sure if it was jealousy or anger or trust issues that she has to deal with now because she's feeling all of those emotions at once.

"Ah shit." Ryan cursed when he opened his eyes and the sunlight hit the white tiled floor. Too bright for his condition to adjust to. He fell asleep on the couch after he finished the whiskey. Unaware that he even finished it but the pounding headache he has together with the four empty beer bottles and the whiskey bottle was proof. He tried to let his eyes adjust to the light but every movement made it worse. He was nauseous and extremely thirsty. He couldn't decide which way to go first, the kitchen or the bathroom, but the bathroom trip was where he needed to be first. All that liquor he consumed threatening to come back up.

After a shower and some coffee he still felt beat but more human than a few hours ago. He had to eat something so he could take some painkillers and try to find his wife and daughter. He settled for a slice of toast and a cold glass of water, not bothering to pick up the bottles that was scattered on and around the coffee table. He tried calling her but the phone went to voice mail. He spotted her laptop on the dining room table and he fired it up hoping she didn't delete her browser history. Maybe that would lead him to where she might be. He saw a page for apartment rentals about a ten minute drive away, and she never logged out of her emails and there was a confirmation payment receipt for one of the apartments he saw on the website. Relief flooded over him when he found out where they were. He wanted to go over there immediately, but knew it wouldn't be so easy. He tried calling her again but she didn't answer.

After lying in bed for half an hour clutching a pillow to her chest as she cried into it. Seeing Ryan"s name appear appear on her cell as it vibrates but she's refusing to aswer. She got up and got Phoebe dressed before taking a shower herself and sat down feeding her daughter eating a granola bar and some yogurt. She wasn't in the mood for cooking so she might as well order something for tonight. Her phone rang again and she didn't even bother answering again thinking it was Ryan, but it was Shelby. Feeling guilty she decided to call her back a little later.

"All done. What are we doing for the rest of the day?" She sniffed eyes still puffy and red. "How about a walk in the park?" Phoebe smiled and Alex geared up getting everything they might need for their outing as she walked out the door.

The park was relatively empty except for a few people under the shade of some of the trees, some couples playing with their kids and a few young boys playing football. As they walked further it felt as if everyone was in love and where she looked she saw couples holding hands, and all that made her feel sad and lonely and angry and a million emotions all at once. She had no idea what was going on with her marriage and was afraid that it might be the end of it. Before getting more upset than she already was she decided to turn around and walk back to the apartment. Phoebe's friendly face made up for her sadness since she smiled at everyone who was willing to smile at her and the compliments she got from older people who told her she had a pretty baby. When they got to the apartment

Phoebe became fidgety and she changed her diaper giving her a bottle but she swats it away turning her head refusing to take it, but kept on whinig. Alex tried laying her down for her afternoon nap but that didn't work either.

"Phoebe come on, please. What's going on with you now?" She looked at her mother when she spoke but then started crying again. Alex checked her temperature and it was normal so she wasn't sick and she had no idea what else to do.

Thinking that she would've handed the baby over to Ryan if they were at home and he'd place her on his chest as she sucked her pascifier and soon she would calm down and drift to sleep. Just the thought of it made her sad again. She can't call him, or she can but she doesn't want to. Not yet.

"Phoebe please bub just stop crying." The young mother pleaded with her daughter not sure of what else she could do. She walked up and down the house trying to calm her but she eventually tired herself out and cried herself to sleep. Laying her down and backing out of the room softly so she doesn't wake her and it starts all over again.

When she got back to the lounge she noticed her phone rang and made it just in time to answer.

"I've been calling you. Why don't you pick up?" Shelby asked not even bothering to greet. "Sorry, we went out to the park and I left my phone at home. What's up?" Alex asked flopping down on the couch. "May I get Phoebe tonight? If that's okay with you and Ryan. I need some time with my girl. And by that I'm referring to your daughter not you." Shelby made that point clear. "Yeah, no hard feelings." Alex laughed. "It's fine, I'll drop her off later." Alex said hanging up a little while later after they were done talking.

A knock on the door made her get up with a groan, she was just about to take a nap on the couch but got up reluctantly. Her husband standing on the other side of the door. Looking like someone who haven't slept all night.

"How did you know where I was?" Alex asked not bothering to greet him. "Your laptop, saw your history and one of your emails." He summarized.

"Right." Alex whispered still standing in the doorway not allowing him to enter.

"Can I please talk to you?" Ryan attempted but she shook her head. "I have nothing to say to you, Ryan. That woman's hands all over you…" She mumbled the second part.

"Alex we need to talk at some point, we can't keep living like this." He tried pushing his hands deeper into his pockets leaning against the doorframe.

"When I'm ready to talk we can. Until then this is how it'll be." She said with finality in her voice. Ryan nodding his head not knowing how to respond.

"Can I at least see Phoebe?" He asked hoping she'd allow him to that at least, but she shook her head.

"She's sleeping."

"Alex please, you've punished me enough for something I didn't even do. Don't keep my daughter away from me." He attempted feeling hurt and anger rise up inside him.

"She's sleeping, Ryan! See for yourself if you don't believe me." Alex answered trying to keep her voice down.

"Okay." Ryan whispered turning around walking back to the car and Alex closed the door behind him. Laying her head against the white wood breathing heavily as she started sobbing sliding down to the floor until she was sitting with her back against the door, crying into her hands.

Ryan drove towards the nearest liquor store and bought a new six pack of beer and a bottle of whiskey, heading back home. He'll go over to Alex every day until she talks to him. He entered the house and sat down on the couch, that has been his bed since yesterday, and seems like it will be again tonight. He ordered pizza and switched on the TV. Trying to call his wife again to see if she'll be willing to listen to him over the phone. Thinking that would be easier than having to face him but again she didn't answer. He looked though his call log seeing how many times in the last 24 hours he called her.

He scrolled through his pictures and smiled when he saw the ones they took a few days ago, and how everything went wrong in one day. He opened the beer and took a swig, getting up to get the pizza from the door. Walking back to the couch, putting his feet up on the table while watching TV. Before long he was done with all six and half an hour later he opened the whiskey. He'll drink himself overboard if that's the only way he can sleep at night.

"Did you sleep nice? You're going to aunty Shelby and uncle Caleb tonight. You excited?" Alex asked as she started getting her things ready. "And you have to behave yourself, hey." Alex pointed in her direction and she smiled, trying to stuff her hands in her mouth. She took a look in the mirror to see if Shelby will notice that she cried, but her red puffy eyes were back to normal. "Come on, let's go." She announced picking her daughter up and heading outside.

"Hello sweet pea!" Shelby greeted when she opened the door and saw Phoebe and Alex standing there. She extended her arms and Phoebe squirmed out of her mother's hold to get to Shelby. "I missed you." Shelby said in between kisses. "Caleb went out golfing and I cleaned up half the day and now I'm bored out of my mind and needed some time with you." She told the little girl. "That's okay. All her things are in here. Call me if you need me." Alex said walking over to kiss her daughter.

"Yeah yeah we know the drill, but that won't be necessary. We'll be fine." Shelby told her friend. "All right, then I'll leave you two to get some alone time. I'll come by tomorrow afternoon to get her." Alex said and Shelby nodded.

"Hey, are you okay?" Shelby asked concerned seeing that her friend is acting weird and not herself who would come in and sit on the couch or order some coffee. "Yeah, just tired." Alex dismissed. "See you tomorrow."

Ryan laid on the couch, the familiar buzzed feeling overtaking him. He still had half a bottle of whiskey left, contemplating whether he should finish it right now or leave it for tomorrow and buy another one. He placed the cap back on and put it on the table, settling himself on the couch as he drifted to sleep.

Alex drove past the house, after she dropped Phoebe off at Shelby's, and saw his car in the driveway, and all the lights were out except the living room. She wanted to inside so badly just to see if Ryan was okay, but she couldn't. Not yet, she still had to deal with her emotions before they can start working through this.

Thanks for reading. Any thoughts on this one? Not really happy with it. I have big emotions for the next one; hoping the next chapter will make up for it where this one lacked. Your reviews left me smiling thank you! Lovies-S