TW- Kidnapping, neglect, eating disorders, emotional abuse, death of a child (not Sonny), panic attacks, mentions of suicide.
Kelly's car pulled up silently outside the old rundown house that had been Matt's residence for the past few years. It was early in the morning and he had swapped places with Matt halfway through the journey. Kelly chuckled softly to himself as he looked around at the other two occupants of the car. Both Casey's were fast asleep, Matt's head was pressed up against the window his hair messily sticking to the glass ,while Sonny was sprawled out unceremoniously across the backseat with his head haphazardly balancing on his lumpy backpack.
"Hey Matt we're here" announced Kelly gently shaking the sleeping man. The tired ex-firefighter began to stir and after a few moments he pried open his heavy eye lids. Matt sat up straight and the fog clouding his mind began to clear and his memories of the night before began flooding back. Reluctantly Matt turned around in his seat, he was terrified that there would be no one occupying the backseat, it wouldn't be the first time Matt's dreams of being reunited with Sonny had spilled into the day time. After his brain injury he'd suffered from hallucinations and memory problems. The first two months after the accident had been just as painful as the first two months after Sonny went felt like he had lost the only thing he had left, his mind. At first he had managed to hide the fact he'd been seeing Hallie and Sonny from everyone but Kelly had been watching his friend closely as he had suspected something was seriously wrong. Severide had tried to get Casey to open up but the blonde had blocked him out. The truth about Matt's state of mind came out in a messy incident after the hallucinations pushed Matt to his breaking point. That night would haunt Kelly forever, he should have done more to help Matt before things got that bad. Eventually with the help of a doctor the hallucinations ceased and Matt was cleared for light duty but Casey had given up on returning to normal and he fled Chicago.
Relief rolled over Matt as his eyes settled on Sonny, it was real, he had found his son.
"Should I wake him?" Questioned Matt looking at the boy in the mirror as he sluggishly rubbed the remaining sleep out of his eyes.
"I think we have to, we can't leave him asleep in the car in a strange place he's never been before " reasoned Kelly. Matt scrambled out of the car and cautiously opened the passenger back door.
"Wake up kiddo" coaxed Matt tentatively reaching out and tapping Sonny's shoulder but the boy remained fast asleep .
"Come on Sonny rise and shine" Matt urged slightly louder this time but all he got in response was a soft snore. The last twenty four hours must have been long and tiring for the poor boy no wonder he was virtually unconscious thought Casey sadly.
"What's going on Matt?" asked Kelly moving to stand behind his friend , a small smile tugged at the corner of Severide's mouth as he peered into the backseat. The scene reminded Kelly of the first time he and Andy took Matt out to a bar. The two friends hadn't realised Matt had never gone out drinking before, the eventful night had ended with a tipsy Casey falling asleep on Andy in the taxi on the way home. Kelly flicked his gaze between Matt and Sonny It was frightening how alike the two of them looked, the boy really was just a younger version of Casey with slightly longer and scruffier hair.
"I can't wake him up" sighed Matt.
"Huh well I guess you'll just have to carry him in" Kelly responded matter of factly.
"I can't do that",
"You were a firefighter Matt I've seen you carry people double his size before",
"That's not the issue" groaned Matt this whole situation was torture, he had no idea how to act around his own son. On one hand he could be make Sonny uncomfortable by being too affectionate or he could harm Sonny by being too distant, this entire situation was dreadful. Kelly scrubbed a wary hand across his face he felt just as confused and conflicted as Matt.
"Look Matt I get that you're taking it slow but you can't leave him out here",
"There's no one else around",
"Matt!"
"I was joking" responded the blonde with a smirk, Kelly knew Matt would never really leave the sleeping boy on his own outside. If anything Kelly wouldn't be surprised if Matt never let sonny out of his sight again. He remembered how Matt would lie next to Sonny's crib after a rough shift intently listening to the soothing sound of his baby boy's breathing. Even as sonny got older Matt would stand in the door way watching over the boy, often he had to pick Sonny up off the floor after he rolled off the bed. Sonny had always been full of energy and rarely sat still.
"Why don't you go open the front door ready?" Matt instructed accepting that he had no other choice. Carefully he removed the boy from the car but didn't Sonny make a peep. Matt chuckled to himself as he looked at the boy in his arms, Matt believed even an earthquake wouldn't disturb the exhausted kid. Sonny had always possessed the ability to sleep anywhere and ignore the world around him, before he went missing Matt carrying the mischievous blonde boy to bed was a regular occurrence. Because Sonny frequently fell asleep in random places, Matt once found him asleep in the wardrobe after a game of hide and seek.
Matt carefully settled the boy down on the bed upstairs. As he tucked Sonny in he couldn't stop smiling he finally had his son back in his life. Despite his happiness he could feel fear spreading over him, he wished Hallie was here, she'd know how to look after Sonny. Casey couldn't do this on his own.
"You're doing good Matt" comforted Kelly as they both headed out of the room.
"I don't have a clue what to do Kelly, I don't want to screw this up. But I'm not the same man I was when he disappeared" admitted Matt.
"But you're here and I know you're going to be there for him every step of the way. No ones perfect Matt but you're trying, that's what matters" comforted Kelly flashing the other man a warm smile. That's when Matt realised he wasn't on his own, Kelly would be with him and Sonny every step of the way.
It didn't take the two men very long to pack up Matt's stuff, the only things he had brought with him from Chicago were his clothes and his tool box. When Matt left Chicago he'd given up on life, his plan was to live the rest of his days all alone. After all he could never save the people he loved. Sonny, Hallie, Andy, he failed them all. Matt spent his days saving other people but could never save the ones he loved the most. But now he had his son back and he had to be strong for him.
Kelly searched the cupboards for something to eat and finally managed to find a loaf of bread and some jars of jam.
"One thing for sure Matt is if you're going to look after Sonny you need to start looking after yourself too" stated Kelly, Matt barely had enough food in the house, he worked way too much and Kelly was positive he was the only person Matt had had a proper conversation with in the last five years. Instead of answering his friend Matt shot Kelly a glare. Maybe he had slipped behind on keeping the cabinets stocked but he was a grown man he didn't need Kelly worrying, he'd been doing just fine on his own , he earnt a living, he was always clean shaven and washed and despite his lack of a balanced diet he did eat. Given all the messy horrible stuff he'd been through Matt thought he was doing fine. He appreciated Kelly's help in regards to Sonny but he didn't need Kelly to start acting like his babysitter.
Matt was quickly calling the inn to give them his resignation, they were irritated at the short notice but Matt could hardly hang around for another week, earning Sonny's trust would be difficult enough without having to do it in a dusty house in the middle of nowhere. If they got off to a rocky start in Chicago Matt could take Sonny to the park, the cinema or even the firehouse if he got desperate; there was nothing for either of them in this town. Kelly was spreading dark red jam across a burnt piece of toast when he heard someone padding down the stairs. Sonny stopped in the doorway of the kitchen and gave the two men a small smile. He was absentmindedly tugging on the straps his trusty backpack (Kelly had dropped it off in the room while he was sleeping).
"Good morning Sonny, do you want some toast?" Asked Kelly as Sonny shuffled further into the kitchen.
"N- no thank you" replied Sonny hesitantly, he didn't want to hurt Kelly's feelings but the pile of toast on the side was almost as dark as coal.
"It's not my fault, it's Matt's old toaster" defended Kelly noticing the amused look on Sonny's face.
"Don't listen to him Sonny, there's nothing wrong with that toaster it's all him. He's got a reputation for burning food" teased Matt sitting down at the counter.
Matt looked around his house one last time checking he hadn't forgotten anything important, he and Kelly had explained the situation to Sonny who had accepted the plan immediately. Severide had been expecting Sonny to be stubborn like his father, he expected the boy to ask a million questions but the boy had been nothing but compliant so far, part of Kelly hoped the boy would start to rebel soon. Matt stepped outside with a smile on his face as he joined Kelly and Sonny. He didn't feel bad about leaving, this place was never his home.
"So Sonny who do you want to ride to Chicago with me or Matt?" Asked Kelly gently, Sonny looked at his feet and began nervously chewing his lip. Matt felt for the boy, so far Sonny had no trouble talking to Kelly but often struggled talking to him, Matt knew Sonny probably wanted to drive with Kelly but was too afraid of hurting his feelings.
"You know what in that fancy car of his Kelly has a nasty habit of exceeding the speed limit, I think you should ride along with him to keep him in line" joked Matt trying to put the boy at ease.
Sonny immediately felt all the tension evaporate from his body, he liked Matt he really did but he felt like there were these expectations he had to reach when he was with him, they were father and son there wasn't supposed to be so much distance between them. Where as with Kelly there was no pressure on him to get along with the older man, conversation seemed to flow easier.
"You're just jealous" shot back Kelly as he flashed Matt an understanding smile, Matt had always been one to put others needs above his own, especially if the other person was Sonny. Kelly knew that no matter the personal cost Matt would do anything for Sonny.
Matt felt a deep pang in his heart as he watched a Sonny jump into Severide's car and the shiny vehicle quickly speed away. One car journey didn't matter, Matt had the rest of his life to strengthen his and Sonny's now he was happy to get to know his son, one day he'd be able to hug his boy.