Despite the happiness and relief surging through Matt as he drove towards the city he used to call home, he couldn't stop his mind from drifting to the last time he and Sonny had been in Chicago together.
Matt had just picked Sonny up from spending the night with the Herrmann clan while he was on shift. He didn't have any construction jobs and neither did Kelly, it was beautiful warm day and Sonny was full of beans so they decided to take the boy on an "adventure" . The two firefighters took the hyper little boy to a nearby park before stopping for ice cream on the way home. Over the last ten years Matt had replayed that day in his head a million times. He remembered Sonny beaming at him as he slid down the large slide, the sound of the little boy happily yelling "higher, higher" as Matt pushed him on the swings, the blonde little boy laughing in glee as Kelly pretended to steal Matt's ice cream and how Sonny's golden hair flopped in his eyes as they chased him around the park. That was the last happy memory Matt had of his boy and he had clung onto it ever since.
A few hours after they returned from their adventure Matt was sat on the sofa reading to a worn out Sonny when he heard a knock at the door. Matt continued reading to Sonny as Kelly stopped preparing dinner and moved to answer the door, a few seconds later a distraught Hallie rushed in and scooped Sonny up off the sofa and into a warm hug. Tears tracks were staining her face as she mumbled "I love you" to the young blonde over and over again. When she finally released Sonny the blonde tilted his head in confusion, it wasn't often he saw his mother cry. The boys thumb made its way to his mouth as he looked nervously at Hallie, Kelly gently batted the boys hand away from his mouth before placing a hand on his back and guiding him out the room.
"Come on Sonny why don't you show me those new toy animals you got last week?" Suggested Kelly causing the boy to run towards his room excitedly rambling something about giraffes.
Once the duo was out of sight Matt focused on the distraught woman in front of him.
"T- their was a little boy, he was only a few years older than Sonny but we couldn't save him, I'm sorry I just needed to see him" stammered Hallie as fresh tears streamed down her face.
"Shh it's ok, Sonny's alright" soothed Casey as he wrapped his arms around the distressed doctor.
"Why don't you take him a night early?" Suggested Matt once Hallie's cries died down.
"Are you sure?" Asked Hallie inbetween shaky breaths.
"Yes, you need him tonight and I know you'd do the same for me" admitted Matt, he understood the urge to be around Sonny after loosing a child at work, the last few times they'd lost children while on shift he had let Sonny sleep in his bed for the night or he spent the day hugging the little boy and telling him how much he loved him.
"Thank you Matt" mumbled Hallie.
It didn't take long to get Sonny ready to leave as moving from house to house was a regular occurrence for the young boy, the only item that traveled with him was a plush toy rabbit named Robbie, the beloved bedtime companion had been with Sonny since the day he was born. Nearly everyone who visited Sonny in hospital brought him a soft toy of some sorts, but for unknown reasons Sonny had taken a shine to the toy rabbit who was a gift from Andy and Heather. Darden had smiled fondly every time Sonny would bring Robbie with him to the firehouse or the park, the fluffy bunny rarely left Sonny's sight. In fact after his disappearance Matt had also clung onto the beloved toy taking it every where he went, as drove back to Chicago Robbie's ear stuck out of a cardboard box on the seat next to Matt.
When the time came to go home with Hallie the little boy gave Kelly a big hug before turning to Matt who lifted him in the air and squeezed him tightly to his chest. For years Matt had wished he'd never let go of his son, he was haunted by the belief that he could have prevented what happened after Sonny left their cozy apartment. He wished he had told Hallie to stay the night instead, he could have stayed on the sofa while she slept in his bedroom which was right next door to sonny's. Then maybe Sonny would have grown up with the love of both of his parents and his uncle Kelly. But instead the joy of watching the blonde boy grow up was stolen from them by a cruel man.
Later that night Matt had been peacefully sleeping when the sound of his phone ringing shook him out of his slumber. He immediately reached for the device resting on his bedside table, he glanced sleepily at the name displayed on the screen, it was Rachel one of Hallie's neighbours. Instantly a panic spread through the firefighter. He'd become friendly with Rachel over the years as she had a little girl the same age as Sonny but they definitely weren't close enough for her to be casually ringing him at midnight. He swallowed passed the lump forming in his throat and answered the woman's call.
"Matt speaking" he answered in a tense voice.
"M-Matt you need to get here now" the woman announced in a voice full of panic.
"What?why?" Asked Matt as he jumped out of bed.
"We heard gunshots coming from the house, police are arriving now"she replied sounding hysterical.
"I'm on my way" answered Matt his voice shaking, he banged on Kelly's bedroom door on his way to the living room.
"Kelly we've got to go" yelled Matt slipping on his shoes.
"Case what's wrong?" Questioned Kelly as he pulled on his own boots and followed Matt out of the door. The fear in Matt's voice had urged Kelly to follow his instructions with pout arguing.
"Sonny" was the only word Matt could utter. All the colour drained out of Kelly's face, Sonny was his world, he loved him like a son. The two firefighters took off out of the apartment without even sparing a second to lock the door.
They climbed into Matt's truck and sped off towards Hallie's house not caring about the speed limits. Matt's heart felt like it was going to explode, he couldn't loose his little boy.
As they approached Hallie's house they could see an ambulance and a police cars surrounding the humble home, Matt messily parked his truck on a curb and jumped out, he took off towards the house at a sprint with Kelly hot on his heels. He didn't notice Rachel and her husband talking to one of the many officers or the dozens of people gawping at the house from their windows despite the late hour. As Matt reached the steps he collided with a police officer,
"You can't go in their sir" the man stated in a firm voice.
"But my son's in there, I need to see my son" shouted Matt attempting to push past the man. The officers eyes immediately filled with panic.
"You're Sonny's father?" Asked a smartly dressed man appearing from behind the officer, he'd overheard Matt's statement but before jumping to any conclusions he needed to establish the facts.
"Yes, now what's going on where's Hallie and Sonny?" Cried Matt feeling Kelly's hand on his shoulder urging to calm down.
"We believed the boy was with you sir" revealed the detective in a morose tone.
"No Hallie took him for the night, are you telling me you don't know where my son is?" Yelled Matt feeling as if someone had wrenched out his heart. The man didn't respond instead he mumbled something to the officer next to him who began hurriedly talking into a radio.
"Someone told us there were gunshots" stated Kelly fearfully, speaking for the first time since they had arrived. After that night Kelly had become Matt's voice of reason, he was the one who always acted logically and asked sensible questions while Matt's judgement was clouded and he let himself be consumed with anger and despair.
"Yes, earlier this night we received reports of gunfire and-" Matt stopped listening to the man as he barged past catching him off-guard. He headed inside the house before any one could stop him, Officers were pacing around the living and taking photos, and various items had been destroyed but what caught Matt's attention was the white sheet draped over something in the middle of the room. He rushed towards it and wasted no time in lifting the stark sheet, chills racked his body and his heart exploded as he stared down the pale face of the first woman he had ever loved.
"Hallie" gasped Matt, he tore his gaze away from her lifeless body and turned towards the detective behind him.
"Where's Sonny?" Roared Matt pushing past his shock, there would be plenty of time to grieve for Hallie but first he desperately needed to find his boy.
"We don't know, we think his mother's killer's took him".
Sonny's case had deceived them many times over the years, before Matt arrived the detectives believed it was a burglary gone wrong, the days following the incident they had believed it was a planned kidnapping, it wasn't until a few weeks later they learned it was actually a hit and Hallie was the one who had been news that Sonny wasn't supposed to be taken had hit Matt like a truck, he'd found himself overwhelmed by guilt because if it hadn't been for his decision to allow Hallie to take Sonny a day earlier he would have never been taken. That belief had tortured Matt for over a decade.
Casey shook himself to the present, the last ten years would forever haunt him. But no matter how much he blamed himself he couldn't change what had happened, but that didn't make continuing on with life any easier. Until a few days ago Matt didn't have a reason to live, he struggled by simply because Severide would blame himself if he died, he couldn't do that to his friend. But now he had a reason to live, a reason to heal but Matt didn't know if he could recover after everything. He'd headed so far down a path of self destruction he wasn't sure if he could ever return to normal, there were things, complications left by his brain injury that he hadn't shared with anyone, not even Kelly. It hadn't mattered when he was alone, when he occasionally spaced out while working at the inn no one commented ,when he forgot where his tool box was his boss would laugh before pointing him in the right direction. Even on the days he was forced to skip work because of the blinding pain in his head no one asked questions, he was the mysterious man from out of town who rarely spoke to anyone, most people kept out of his way. He'd heard the rumours that he was a disgraced soldier or that he was an ex-convict but they never bother him, after all they just gave him another reason to hide away.
However now Matt wasn't responsible for the upkeep of a humble inn, he was responsible for a fourteen year old boy, his confused vulnerable son. Matt didn't think he was ready, he didn't want to mess up his beautiful boy, he didn't want to be a monster like his father was.
He was ashamed to admit it but he had even briefly considered leaving Sonny with Kelly but quickly shook that notion away, he'd seen how badly Benny's absence had affected Kelly and he couldn't do that to his boy. Instead Matt vowed to himself to be the best he could. He'd never be father of the year but he would spend everyday of the rest of his life trying to show Sonny how much he loved him. He would try to the father Sonny deserved.