Same trigger warnings apply through whole story.
hope you enjoy this chapter.
It was almost three pm when they arrived in Chicago. After travelling together for over three hours Kelly had learnt quite a bit about the boy beside him, he was fascinated by the fact that Sonny appeared to be a wonderful mix of both Matt and Hallie. He was Caring like Casey but unlike his father Sonny didn't try to hide it and he was good listener like his mother, sometimes Kelly found himself forgetting the boy was only fourteen. As they chatted to each other Kelly forgot about the ten years they'd spent apart, he felt like the he'd always been a part of the teens life. Their conversation flowed easily and the boy wasn't afraid to say exactly what he was feeling. But when Kelly asked him about school the smile slipped from Sonny's face and his expression became unreadable. The blonde chewed his bottom lip as he stared out of the window causing Kelly to frown in concern.
"I've never been" explained Sonny after awhile, he plastered a smile on his face as he attempted to appear nonchalant. Of course he'd never been to school thought Kelly as he mentally kicked himself, between travelling and hiding from the police attending school obviously wouldn't have been an option.
"Well don't worry we'll figure something out" Kelly comforted,
"Ok" replied Sonny in a tone that made Kelly wonder if the boy was still listening, it was as if he was miles away. As Kelly spared a few glances at Sonny he couldn't tell whether the boy was happy or annoyed by the prospect of going to school, his face had remained completely passive. Kelly found himself groaning internally as he realised they were going to face a lot more obstacles that he initially expected , Regardless of whether the boy wanted to attend school or not sending him into high school would be a challenging experience. Sending someone who until recently only ever spoke to one person, into a building full of people who abided by social norms they wouldn't understand sounded like a cruel thing to do, it was like feeding a sheep to the wolves. Kelly had no idea how they would even begin to tackle that problem, therefore he decided to push all thoughts of Sonny's education into the back of his mind until he could discuss it properly with Matt.
"Here we are Sonny home sweet home" announced Severide as he parked his car in the spacious drive way. The house was actually quite nice, Matt had a good eye for real estate and as it had been run down when he brought it he had gotten it for a rather decent price. Matt had almost finished fixing up the house when his brain injury had stunted his progress, luckily after moving in Kelly was able to finish up the small details like painting the walls and adding carpet. But even after he finished decorating it had never felt very warm or cozy, Kelly had always felt odd living a big family sized house while he was all alone; he was afraid that if he moved out Matt would sell it, thus destroying any chance of him ever returning to Chicago. Severide had even made sure the two spare rooms in the house had been fully furnished just in case Matt ever returned, at the time Kelly didn't know which room the blonde would prefer so he had decided on decorating both just in case, which turned out to be a really good thing now they had Sonny. Renovating the house had kept Kelly occupied over the years, whenever they had a tough call the house would end up with something new whether it was a nicer bathroom or fancier kitchen cabinets. The humble house had been redecorated more times than Kelly could count but no matter what he did to the building it never felt like home, until now.
"Wow" gasped Sonny as he gaped at the building standing in front of him, the last time he'd lived in a house was nearly eight years ago. Living in one place would be a nice change from endless travelling. A warm glow filled Kelly as he watched Sonny quirk a small smile as he studied the house .
"I thought you lived alone?" Asked Sonny tilting his head in a way that reminded Kelly of Matt.
"I do",
"But it's huge" remarked the young blonde, the big house in front of him was definitely not what he expected.
"Come on Sonny lets go inside " suggested Kelly chuckling at the boys astonishment. As they jumped out of Kelly's car Matt's truck pulled up beside them.
"Good journey?Did Kelly deafen you with his singing?" Asked Casey joining them on the pavement.
"My singing is not that bad" mumbled Kelly causing Sonny to laugh.
"If I was you I wouldn't go entering any singing competitions any time soon" responded Casey with a smirk, watching Sonny laugh and smile made Matt feel like he'd won the lottery; part of Matt kept waiting for something to go wrong. After years of being tortured by the loss of Sonny watching the teen be so lively and cheerful felt like a dream. As they stepped inside the house Matt's eyes immediately widened, it was nothing like the house he had left behind. But Matt wasn't sure whether that was because Kelly had decorated or because the last time he'd been there was when he hit rock bottom , back then everything appeared gloomy and cold. Now Matt's head was almost clear and a dark cloud no longer followed him everywhere he went.
The tour around the house only brightened Sonny's smile, the inviting house was a stark contrast to the dingy motel rooms he was accustomed to. When they reached the room which was now his the young boy beamed at them, the walls were painted a dark blue and a large window allowed light to cascade inside, he immediately shrugged off Kelly's apologies about the lack of character in the room, to him it was perfect. Once they were all settled in Kelly suggested they order pizza which Sonny greatly approved of. However as he began eating, the food tasted like cardboard and he found himself struggling to hold it down . A deep longing filled his heart as he remembered all the times Ryder had returned from work with pizza as an apology, they'd eat together as Sonny showed the older man everything he'd drawn during his absence.
As daylight began to disappear and Sonny began to feel exhausted Matt thankfully picked up on his tiredness and suggested they all go to bed, he was pretty sure the two men would stay up talking to each other but he didn't care, he was struggling to keep his eyes open. Sonny attempted to stifle a yawn as stood in his room staring out of the window, his eyes were fixed on the view, most people wouldn't think the view was very special, it was just your average street but to Sonny it was a welcome change from the gloomy car parks and rundown buildings he was so used to seeing. The image in front of him became blurry as his eyelids grew heavy ; he started to sway in an attempt to keep himself awake when he heard a soft voice.
"Hey, you can wear these for tonight, tomorrow we'll go shopping to get you some more clothes" explained Kelly passing Sonny an old t-shirt and pair of sweatpants. After finding out that Sonny didn't own any pyjamas and planned on staying in his jeans and T-shirt Kelly insisted on finding him something else to wear.
"You don't have to do that" stuttered Sonny, over the past few days they had done a lot for him, but he was afraid of becoming a burden.
"But we want too and we have to go shopping anyway, my fridge isn't stocked for three people" chuckled Kelly trying to ease the tension.
"Thank you" replied Sonny softly as he offered Kelly a grateful smile,
"No problem have a good night kiddo"
Clumsily Sonny changed out of his dirty garments , the clothes Kelly had given him dwarfed his slender frame but he was grateful for the change. Growing up Sonny only ever had two sets of clothes, Ryder always told him that owning less stuff meant a smaller chance of leaving something behind, they had to be untraceable which meant all of Sonny's belongings had to fit inside his backpack. The lack of clothing items never bothered him as they never stayed in one place long enough for someone to notice and after ten years Sonny had grown used fo sleeping in jeans, occasionally wearing only his boxers during hotter months.
Despite feeling exhausted moments ago as he curled up in bed Sonny found himself wide awake. He pushed himself up into a sitting position and scanned the room until his eyes settled on his bag which was sitting in the corner of the room, he threw off the covers and retrieved his beloved notebook. He flopped back down on the bed and flicked through the pages until he finally found what he was looking for. Part of being untraceable meant no devices, not even a disposable camera, Ryder despised photos as they were a permanent record of where they had been. Instead Sonny drew everything he found interesting, his style was often abstract or even minimalistic, trying to identify a place from one of his drawings would be like trying to drive somewhere blindfolded. However there was one thing he was forbidden from drawing, Ryder. At first Sonny never understood why but in the past few months he'd finally begun to understand, Ryder was afraid. The surrogate father loved sonny's drawings, he once said he loved being able to see the world through Sonny's eyes, but now Sonny knew that was also what scared the man. Ryder was terrified of finding out how Sonny truly saw him, whether he drew him with anger or love. Unbeknownst to Sonny Ryder had always wondered if the younger boy secretly resented him for everything he had done.
After years of begging Ryder had finally relented, once a year for his birthday Sonny was allowed to draw Ryder. It was the only opportunity he got to draw people that wasn't rushed or from a blurry memory , due to the lack of time his drawings of the people they passed were incredibly messy and often left unfinished, he tried drawing himself once using the mirror but it hadn't gone very well. Sonny rarely drew the pictures on his birthday preferring to save the golden opportunity for the perfect moment, he also took his time which was why this years portrait was incomplete, something he'd regret for the rest of his life. Sonny's heart clenched as he realised he'd never finish it, suddenly the room felt awfully lonely and tears began sting his eyes. He was used to being alone while Ryder was off doing a job but he had always been comforted by the knowledge that Ryder would return eventually. As he clutched the drawing to his chest tears cascaded down his face, all he had left of the man who raised him was a few messy drawings. In that moment he would have done anything to be back in Ryder's car driving to some grotty motel.
"He's not dead, he's just hiding" whispered Sonny, he repeated the mantra over and over through shaky breaths until he eventually collapsed down onto the bed in exhaustion.
Meanwhile Matt felt as if his heart had been ripped out, he was slumped down on the floor leaning heavily against the door to Sonny's room, he'd been unable to fight the urge to stay away from his son. He'd listened to Sonny's weeping through tears of his own, despite wanting to rush in and pull his son into a hug he remained outside, Sonny needed space to grieve and sadly Matt was virtually a stranger. As the sound of Sonny's heartbroken sobs ceased panic washed over Matt, he found the silence unnerving , after five painful minutes Matt's need to check on his boy won out. He pushed himself up off the floor and carefully opened the door. As he shuffled inside the room his eyes immediately locked on the small form huddle in the covers were falling to the floor and Sonny's hand was hanging off the bed clutching onto a worn notebook. The teens soft snores were interrupted by frequent distraught whimpers and a pained expression was etched on his face. Gently Matt removed the notebook from Sonny's grip and placed it on the bedside table to prevent it from getting damaged. As Matt got a better look at his son he frowned at the tear tracks marring the boys face. He felt completely useless, he wished he could take away all of Sonny's pain and put it on himself. But right now thoughts like that wouldn't help, He shook away his guilt and padded out of the room before promptly returning with a thick blue blanket, instead of attempting to untangle Sonny from the duvet which was barely covering him, Casey draped the fleecy blanket over the boy. As Matt reluctantly turned to leave the room Sonny let out a few more whimpers each one louder than the last, as the boys eyes flickered open Matt crouched down and tentatively reached out, he carefully stroked the boy's hair as he mumbled soothing reassurances. Happiness mixed with relief fluttered inside of him as the boy leaned into the touch after a few moments.
"Shhh sonny everything is going to be alright" promised Matt in a gentle tone, as Matt continued petting the boy hair, Sonny's distressed whimpers began to ebb and the pain on his face eased. After a long debate with himself Matt leant down and planted a kiss on Sonny's forehead, a peaceful expression graced the teens face. Matt lingered by Sonny's bedside for a few moments, he knew once the boy woke the tension between them would return. But now Matt had a glimmer of hope that he would be able to help his boy, maybe he could be the father he wanted to be. Maybe one day Sonny would love Matt half as much as Matt the loved him.