Elsa frowned and rewrote the closing paragraph in the speech to the Hupruhan people. This had to be perfect. It had taken months of negotiations with the royalty of Hupruhan to build up enough trust to grant her and a selection of her council a visit.
Leaning back with a sigh, the exhausted queen closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. How many years would it take to repair the damage done by thirteen years of isolationism and her freezing Arendelle City?
"Elsa, are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Elsa opened her eyes and smiled at her friend.
Kristoff frowned, clearly not believing her.
"Still working on Grand Pabbie's greetings to Hupruhan?" Elsa nodded at the papers in front of him where he sat at the end of her desk. Knowledge of the Troll Kingdom started to spread outside of Arendelle and Kristoff had been chosen by his family to be their representative. For the last six months she had been tutoring him on etiquette and diplomacy and tomorrow morning, with a full Royal delegation, they would travel to Hupruhan.
"No," Kristoff slumped in his chair. "This will be the longest Anna and I have been apart." He ran a hand through his blond hair, causing it to stick out wildly. "I wanted to write her a love letter but it's harder than I thought it would be."
Else carefully kept her expression neutral. Kristoff had the one thing she desperately longed for but would never have - Anna's love. Luckily, neither one had sought her out for advice on their relationship.
Kristoff looked up and visibly brightened.
Until now, apparently.
"Hey, could you look this over for me? You can tell me if Anna would like it." Kristoff grinned and held out his letter.
Smiling weakly, Elsa took the paper, steeled herself, and began reading.
Hey there, Feisty Pants!
Since I'm gonna be gone for like a week, I thought hey, I can write now! Letter time! I'm going to miss Sven a whole lot, but I'm definitely going to miss you and your shiny hair more. Lots more! Ice is super cold but my love for you is not...
Elsa's frown deepened as she continued to read. This was horrible. There was no way Kristoff could give this to her sister as it was.
It probably wouldn't be wise to advise tossing it into the fire.
"I've never written a love letter before," Kristoff smiled sheepishly and shrugged.
"I could tell," Elsa muttered, then winced at the comparison of Anna's eyes to an algae-filled pond.
"Is there anything you would change?" Kristoff leaned in, eager to hear what she had to say.
"This is your letter, you should write it your way." Elsa tried to hand it back.
"No, no." He shook his head vigorously. "I want Anna to love it. She's your sister, you know what she likes best."
Elsa stared at him. "But, she's your girlfriend." Not mine . Tears threatened to fill her eyes at the thought.
"Please? For Anna?"
Silence filled the room and Elsa debated with herself if she could do this. A glance back down at the letter. She had to, that thing was atrocious.
"Okay."
"Yes!" Kristoff pumped his arm in victory. "What would you change?"
Everything seemed a bit harsh. "A few things..." Elsa laid the letter down, dipped her pen, and prepared to write. "First, this is a love letter, so you should start it with 'Dear Anna' or 'M-my Love." She stumbled over her words, not wanting to think of Kristoff addressing Anna that way.
"'My Love,' definitely 'My Love.'"
Elsa crossed out 'Hey there, Feisty Pants' and wrote 'My Love,' jealousy filling her with every stroke of her pen.
"Second, you don't need these first two lines. Anna knows you're leaving for a week. And no matter how much you care about Sven, you shouldn't compare her to him." Elsa crossed those lines, too. Line by line they went through the letter until her neat penmanship overwhelmed Kristoff's messier hand.
"Wow, you're really good at this." Kristoff read the revised letter with a grin.
"Thank you," Elsa responded softly. She didn't tell him that in her heart were hundreds of unwritten letters to her sister, all longing to be finally given a voice.
Knock. Knock. Knock-knock. Knock.
The office door opened and Anna poked her head in. "You two done yet?"
"Yup!" Kristoff gathered his papers and stood. "I'm going to spend time with Sven. Thanks for letting him stay here while we're gone."
"You're welcome. We're happy to host him for the week."
"Yeah well, after all the carrots Anna is bound to give him, Sven is going to be impossible to live with," Kristoff grinned.
"Hey!" Fists on hips, Anna mock glared. "Every carrot he eats is one I don't have to."
"Sure, Feisty Pants." He rolled his eyes and walked over to hug Anna.
Elsa averted her gaze and stared at the papers in front of her, tuning out the murmur of whispers. She purposefully ignored the couple, every beat of her broken heart painful.
"See ya at dinner, Elsa!"
Elsa kept her unseeing stare on her desk. "Please don't be late."
"I won't be!" called Kristoff.
At the soft click of her office door closing, Elsa closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair.
"Ready for lunch?"
"Anna!" Startled, Elsa jumped in her chair, having assumed her sister left. "You're not going to spend the day with Kristoff?"
"Of course not. You're the one I'm going to miss," Anna smiled softly at her.
"Oh." Elsa's heart soared at her sister's words and she couldn't help feeling a little smug. "I need to put these documents away and I'm all yours." Plans to spend the day reviewing her notes for the week ahead were immediately pushed aside.
"Yay!" Anna bounced on her toes, a wide grin firmly in place. "Meet me in the front hall. We'll have a picnic."
"Ummm..." Elsa turned her head and looked out the window at the thick layer of snow covering the ground.
Anna followed her gaze. "The gardeners dug a path to the greenhouses this morning. It should still be clear," she shifted nervously, "or we could-"
"The greenhouse sounds wonderful," Elsa interrupted. Private time with her sister out of the castle sounded like a slice of heaven.
Elsa helped Anna spread the checkered blanket over a moderately-sized clear area in the middle of the greenhouse. Grey clouds obscured the blue sky but enough sunlight seeped through to warm their picnic area and they had left their coats at the entrance. Once seated, Anna opened the basket at her side and carefully pulled out two covered bowls of piping hot stew, a half loaf of still warm bread wrapped in cloth, and a block of hard cheese.
"Thank you." Elsa accepted a bowl of stew and the smell caused her stomach to grumble, reminding her that she skipped breakfast that morning. As they started to eat, the wind picked up and snow began to fall again.
Anna bit her lip and nervously watched the snow. "Will it be safe to travel in this?"
"It will clear up tomorrow," Elsa replied after swallowing a mouthful of stew.
"Are you sure?"
Elsa closed her eyes and silently reached out with her magic, letting it dance among the clouds. "Yes, it will stop snowing around dinner time." Taking a bite from her slice of bread, she hummed in delight; the bakers in the castle truly were the best in all of Arendelle.
Warm fingers touched her wrist.
"Promise me you'll be careful."
"I promise." Elsa reached over with her free hand and entwined their fingers. "I'll always come home to you." It took a tremendous amount of willpower to not lean over and kiss her sister. Kristoff. She's with Kristoff.
Appetite gone at the reminder, Elsa forced herself to focus back on her food.
"Thank you," Anna whispered before returning to her own meal.
They ate in companionable silence, each lost in their own thoughts.
"How many sleighs did you get the council down to?" Anna grinned over at her. "The last plans I saw, they suggested twenty of them. I'm surprised they didn't suggest the whole castle."
Elsa shook her head in exasperation and swallowed her food. "They nearly did. I had to remind them this was just an introduction of our kingdoms to each other. There will be three sleighs of tradable goods, three more for everyone's trunks, and three sleighs of travelers. Most of the council will join us at the end of the week." While it only took a messenger half a day to travel between the two kingdoms, the size of their party meant they would need to leave long before the sun rose and wouldn't arrive until almost midnight. The long journey is why she pulled rank and secured a sleigh for just her and Kristoff.
"Aaaand..." Anna crossed her arms.
"And a group of twenty soldiers for security." A sigh. They had argued numerous times over this point. Elsa was certain she didn't need them and Anna did not want to take any chances.
"I'm going to miss you." Anna slowly stirred her rapidly cooling stew with her spoon.
"I'll miss you too, but it's only a week." Elsa tried to sound upbeat, but she already dreaded the lonely evenings without her sister.
"Are you sure I can't come with you?" Hopeful, Anna turned and focused on her.
"I wish you could," Elsa sighed. "Half the Council is going to Hupruhan with me. I need you here to run Arendelle."
Anna bit her lip.
"Everything will be fine," she smiled reassuringly. "You're smart and you love Arendelle. There is no one I'd trust more to look after the Kingdom while I'm gone."
"Okay," Anna nodded to herself, "I can do this."
It would be her first time taking over on her own but Elsa had every confidence in her sister's abilities. Unable to stop herself, she lifted a hand to caress Anna's cheek. "You'd make an amazing Queen," Elsa whispered softly.
"Oh," more breath than word.
Elsa's heart raced. Reluctantly, she pulled her hand away and focused on eating the last of her stew.
"Kristoff showed me the letter you helped him with," Anna nudged her playfully with her shoulder. "Who knew you were such a romantic?"
"I didn't do much. Just corrected his spelling." Elsa cursed silently to herself. Anna was never supposed to know her involvement in that letter, and the last thing she wanted was to hear her sister gush over her boyfriend.
"Your handwriting was all over it!" Anna laughed. "No use in denying it. You. Are. Sweet."
Elsa shrugged, secretly pleased at her sister's reaction.
"The wind stopped." Anna stood and pulled her up. "Come on! Let's go outside and play!"
"Okay, okay." It wasn't often she had this much free time to spend with her sister and had every intention of taking advantage of it.
Leaving their picnic to gather up later, they walked to the door of the greenhouse to where they had discarded their winter coats.
"Bundle up. It's cold outside." Elsa buttoned her sister's coat all the way to the top.
"You, too." Anna plucked the purple wool scarf from Elsa's hands.
"Cold doesn't bother me." Elsa smiled while Anna wrapped the scarf around her neck and tucked the ends inside her coat.
"I still worry." Anna placed a kiss on her cheek before grabbing Elsa's hand.
A bit dazed, and cheek tingling, Elsa allowed herself to be tugged outside to play in the snow.
Hours later, they returned to the castle, exhausted and chilled from the snow. They agreed to meet in the library before separating to change out of their snow soaked clothes.
Elsa carefully walked down the hall to the library holding a tray with a teapot full of piping hot tea and a plate of biscuits snagged from the kitchens.
"Elsa! There you are."
Closing her eyes and sighing, Elsa stopped walking and waited for Kristoff to catch up.
"Hey ummm... I need to ask you for a favor," he shuffled his feet nervously.
It must be something big , Elsa thought. He hadn't looked this uncomfortable since asking her to tutor him in diplomacy.
"Could you umm..." he rubbed the back of his neck and shuffled his feet some more, "well... write a love letter to Anna?"
"What?" Elsa grip on the tray's handles tightened painfully.
"Please?"
"What about the letter from this morning?" She had to find a way out of this. Her heart would not be able to take having a front row seat to their growing romance. "That turned into a perfectly lovely letter."
"It was!" Kristoff ducked his head sheepishly. "But I got too excited about it and showed it to Anna before I rewrote it."
"And?"
"Anna already read it and she saw how much you helped." Kristoff frowned.
"Then write another one." Please don't ask this of me.
"It took me three days to write that and in twenty minutes you made it a hundred times better." Kristoff clasped his hands together and begged. "Please do this. I wanted her to have it to read after we leave tomorrow."
"But-"
"Please please please." He continued to beg.
Elsa sighed. "Anna will instantly recognize my handwriting."
"I have the perfect plan!" Planting his hands on his hips, Kristoff straightened, obviously proud of his idea. "You write the letter, give it to me, then I rewrite it, and change anything I need to. She'll never know it was you."
She'll never know... those words hurt.
"And Anna will have a letter she'll love." He continued on unaware of the painful squeezing of her heart. "It's perfect."
"Anna shouldn't be lied to like this." A last ditch effort to get Kristoff to give up this plan.
"Technically it's not lying."
Elsa raised an eyebrow.
"No, really! You love Anna and you'll be pretending to be me when you write it. So you're not really lying."
"Fine," she didn't actually believe his argument but maybe this would help settle her heart and she could move past these feelings. "I'll write this one letter."
"Wellllll..."
"What?" She already regretted agreeing to this plan
"I was kind of hoping you'd write a couple of letters while we're gone," Kristoff smiled hopefully.
Elsa sighed and nodded in defeat, knowing she would eventually agree anyway.
"Thanks! You're the best. I better go pack for the trip to Hupruhan."
"What?" Elsa stared in disbelief. "You're not packed?"
"Don't worry, I'll see you two at dinner." Turning, Kristoff hurried down the hall.
Elsa adjusted her grip on the tray and continued her walk to the library, trying to not think about what she agreed to.
"There you are." Anna hurried over and took the tray from Elsa the moment she walked in. "I was about to go looking for you."
"I ran into Kristoff. Did you know he hasn't even started packing yet?"
Anna laughed at her indignant look. "That sounds like him." The crackling fire warmed the small, private library pleasantly and she set the tray down on the soft rug in front of the fireplace.
Grabbing the third, and final, volume of Oliver Twist , Elsa settled down next to her sister while she prepared their teas.
"Ready?" Elsa sipped her tea, sweetened with just a touch of honey. She smiled softly at her perfect cup. How she wished other things were perfect, that Anna's affections didn't belong to another.
"Yup! Looks like we're almost done." Anna bit into a biscuit and sat crossed-legged on the rug.
Opening up the book, Elsa began to read out loud. "It was nearly two hours before day-break; that time which in the autumn of the year, may be truly called the dead of night; when the streets are silent and deserted; when even sounds appear to slumber, and profligacy and riot have staggered home..."
It only took two chapters before Anna fell asleep on her shoulder. Elsa closed the book and pulled Anna tightly to her. Basking in their closeness, she lost track of time and nearly fell asleep herself.
"Elsa," called Gerda softly. "Dinner is ready."
"Thank you," Elsa responded just as softly, already missing the feel of Anna in her arms. "We'll be down in a few minutes."
Gerda nodded and silently exited the room.
"Anna, it's time to get up for dinner." Elsa gently rubbed her sister's back, coaxing her awake.
Groaning, Anna snuggled more firmly against her. "No. I'm comfortable."
"There will be chocolate cake for dessert."
"I'd rather snuggle," came the sleepy reply.
Elsa also would rather stay in the library wrapped up in Anna, but they were having dinner with Kristoff and couldn't just not show up.
"Kristoff is waiting for us."
"Fine, fine." Anna yawned. "Lets go to dinner."
The soft click of her bedroom door closing echoed loudly in her ears. Elsa had feigned sleepiness to exit dinner with Anna and Kristoff gracefully, unable to continue witnessing the easy laughter and camaraderie the two shared.
"Conceal it, don't feel it, don't let it show... Conceal it, don't feel it, don't let it show... Conceal it, don't feel it, don't let it show..." the familiar mantra calmed her unsteady nerves. These feelings needed to be buried and put away, her sister's current happiness the only thing that mattered.
Elsa sat at her desk with every intention of going over her notes one last time when she remembered her conversation with Kristoff and sighed. It was a good thing she'd have plenty of time to read in the sleigh.
Another balled up paper landed in the fireplace and burst into flames. Seven different attempts were already consumed by the fire. The words flowed easily from her pen that morning but now she sounded stiff and formal, nothing remotely worthy of her sister. Taking out another paper from an inexpensive stack she used for meeting notes, Elsa tried again.
My Love,
I hope you are doing well. I find myself worried about my first trip as ambassador for the Trolls...
A couple more lines were written before she launched that attempt into the fire also. This was hopeless. Leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes, Elsa sighed, wondering what was so different. Pretending to be Kristoff...
Elsa sat up and blinked.
"Oh." She wasn't Kristoff, who loved reindeer and his troll family. She was Elsa, Queen of Arendelle and Anna's sister.
Pulling out a sheet of thick, creamy paper, she wrote as herself.
9 November 1845
My Dearest Anna,
I know this trip is necessary, but that doesn't make being away from you any easier. A week is far too long not to see your smile or hear your laughter; each one a treasure beyond measure. I am a selfish woman and long for you to be traveling by my side and not staying in Arendelle where I cannot see you everyday. But perhaps it's best, I forget myself and my duties with you near and long to hold you in my arms instead. It will be a struggle not to count the minutes until I can see you, the one I love, again.
My heart, battered by years of neglect, is in your tender care so please be careful while I'm away. Your safety is the only thing that matters and if you need me just send word. Without question, I will forsake all else and travel on the fastest horse with the winter wind at my back to come home to you.
I will be holding you in my dreams.
Elsa reread the letter three times and frowned. It still didn't fully convey her affections but it sounded close. A glance at the clock told her this attempt would have to do. Kristoff would be leaving for his own home soon and she didn't want to chance a servant stumbling upon her involvement with this letter. It would be the end of the life she built if Anna knew her true feelings.
After carefully folding the letter and placing it into an envelope, Elsa pulled out her box of brass seals and hesitated. Nestled between her official royal seal and a snowflake seal for personal correspondents, lay one every household in Arendelle possessed. Stories said her great-grandparents shared a deep, timeless love and the heart surrounding a crocus seal used on their letters became a good luck talisman on one's own love letters.
Ignoring the voice in her head, Elsa listened to her heart and picked up the Courting Seal and closed the wooden box. A little melted wax, one she commissioned to match the color of Anna's eyes, and it was done.
Once the door closed behind the last servant, Elsa collapsed into a green wingback chair in front of the fireplace. It had been a much harder journey to Hupruhan than she had anticipated and they didn't arrive at the castle until after one in the morning. Unable to find the motivation to stand back up, Elsa buried her face in the scarf around her neck and inhaled the scent of home.
In the pitch black of the freezing early morning, the large party of kingdom officials, servants, and soldiers gathered around the large caravan preparing to depart. Elsa kept busy with last minute details, maintaining her distance from where her sister and Kristoff were saying their goodbyes.
"Elsa!" Anna hurried around a sleigh full of trunks and wrapped her in a tight hug. "I was a little worried I'd miss you." A sniff betrayed how worried Anna actually had been.
"I would never leave again without saying goodbye." Elsa pulled Anna tightly against her and closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of the warm body against hers.
"Where is your scarf?" Anna only pulled back far enough to level a stern glare at her.
"Ummm..." Only now did Elsa remember she forgot it in her room.
Anna smiled with a shake of her head, then unwrapped her own green wool scarf and wrapped it around Elsa's neck.
"Thank you," Elsa whispered as her sister's scent filled her senses.
Eyes closed, Anna leaned forward until their foreheads touched and wrapped her arms around Elsa's neck. "Please, be careful.
"I promise." Winding her own arms around Anna's waist, Elsa closed her eyes and held her close.
They stayed wrapped in each other until a throat cleared behind them.
"Your Majesty, the caravan is ready to depart."
"Thank you, Captain Rhea. I will be right there." Elsa smiled at the captain who bowed and strode away.
Anna pulled back and adjusted the scarf more securely around her neck.
"We'll be back on Sunday. Give my love to Olaf."
"I will." Anna leaned in again, this time placing a kiss on Elsa's cheek. "Goodbye. I love you."
"I-I love you, too." Elsa reminded her heart Anna did not mean it the same way. "Goodbye."
Before she knew it, and with a smile on her lips, Elsa fell asleep in her chair in front of the roaring fire.
It took great restraint on Elsa's part to not slam her room's door closed. The first day of meetings did not go well. King Mauro had taken an instant dislike to her and didn't bother trying to hide it. A backhanded compliment about how well Arendelle recovered after she froze her city and he even asked Kristoff if the trolls had a hand in that. Wide eyed, the bewildered man only shook his head.
The morning crawled along in that fashion.
She had been able to ignore it all until King Mauro commented loudly to the advisor next to him about how incredibly backwards the Kingdom of Arendelle turned out to be and the only reason it hadn't been crushed under another's boot was fear of their queen. She had stood, thanked him for his hospitality, and said her party needed to go prepare for the tour of their fair city.
The Hupruhanians guiding them, not the ones from that morning's disastrous meeting, looked uncomfortable all afternoon and it wasn't until she heard a soft whisper that she understood why.
"It's true! Queen Elsa has ice powers! Not only that, their princess is courting..."
Elsa hadn't needed to hear the rest. She was livid. Even if Anna had decided to court an actual troll, how dare these people question her sister's choice. Years spent keeping a tight control over her feelings were put to the test as everything that day fell into place.
Angrily pacing her room hours later, Elsa decided she could not write a love letter to Anna that night. Kristoff would just have to wait.
The next evening, Kristoff leaned back into his chair with a satisfied sigh, the mug of beer already half empty.
"Feeling better, Troll Ambassador?" Elsa sipped her glass of red wine.
"Yes. I only had one meeting today and I'm exhausted." He slumped further into the comfortable cushions. "How do you do this? You had what? Four today?"
"Five. It takes practice. Lots and lots of practice."
Covering his face with a free hand, Kristoff groaned pitifully. "I'd rather be harvesting ice."
Laughing, Elsa stood, walked over to her temporary writing desk, and pulled out the sealed letter she wrote earlier.
"Oh good, you remembered." Kristoff gratefully took it and tucked it into his vest for safe keeping. "Thanks. Sorry about troubling you with this."
Elsa didn't mention the scarf she had wrapped around her neck filled with Anna's scent or how her heart soared at being able to, once again, express her true feelings. "I heard your meeting went well?"
"Yes! I remembered what you said about letting them do most of the talking." Excitedly, Kristoff told her about his meeting, stopping every so often to ask for advice.
11 November 1845
My Dearest Anna,
I woke filled with thoughts of you and my soul ached with loneliness. Have I said before how much I yearn for you to be near? Nothing compares to having you in my arms and by my side. Let's not part for this long again and travel together from now on. Then maybe I won't have to remind myself that this trip is important.
In every meeting I watch the clock, impatiently waiting for the time to pass. What is a moment? An hour? A day? Just another useless thing without you here. I should concentrate on my work but how can I when my heart resides ever so far away in Arendelle castle. My mind drifts to you. Are you well? Do you think of me? Do you regret being apart, too?
I eagerly await the trip home to you.
Smiling, Anna's scarf around her neck once again, Elsa sat at her desk. That day's meetings proved to be incredibly productive and she felt confident they could find common ground. The Hupruhanians still seemed uncomfortable around her but, hopefully, this Peace Treaty would help them understand she wasn't a threat to their kingdom.
Banishing all thoughts of work, she pulled out the paper with ideas for tonight's letter jotted down between meetings. Elsa dipped her pen into her inkwell and began to write.
12 November 1845
My Dearest Anna,
Multiple times a day, I am asked by the people here to describe the lovely Princess of Arendelle. I describe a beautiful woman with red hair, freckles, and the most amazing smile anyone has ever seen. I talk about how you love to go hiking, and ducks, and playing in the snow. I don't tell them the things I keep close in my heart.
There are two freckles on your cheek that when you smile in that happy, truly, honest, over the moon thrilled way, and not just glad, they meet and form a heart.
Most assume the painting of Joan of Arc is your favorite because it is the one you would talk to the most while growing up, but I know it's actually the painting of the shepherdess in the library because of the kittens playing in the corner.
The sweet hot chocolate you drink must always have whipped cream on top and your tea needs to be unsweetened.
You know, and love, all of the popular dances but prefer waltzing because then you can talk with your dance partner.
Every night, no matter how late it is, you read in bed though only books you've read before or you'll stay up late to finish it.
I am honored to know these little bits of you and burn to learn more.
Knock knock.
Elsa groaned in her seat. That had to be Kristoff stopping by for Anna's letter. The day had started especially early but they signed the Peace Treaty between the two kingdoms in time for the party tomorrow night celebrating their renewed friendly relations.
"Come in!"
"Hey Elsa, I'm here for- wow, you look terrible." Kristoff frowned.
"Thank you," Elsa smirked.
"Are you alright? Do you need something?" Closing the door behind him, Kristoff walked over ready to offer any help.
"I'm fine, just exhausted," Elsa sighed tiredly and struggled to sit up straighter in her chair. "I'm sorry, I can't write you a letter tonight."
"What? But you have to!" Kristoff's expression was distraught.
"You can write one for Anna. It doesn't have to be me."
"Yes, it does. She goes on and on in her letters about how much she loves them."
Elsa's stomach flipped happily at that, then she remembered Anna thought they were from Kristoff and tears filled her eyes.
"You can send her a poem. Anna," Elsa swallowed down her tears and continued, "Anna would love that."
"A poem?" Kristoff looked at her skeptically. "Anna likes that stuff?"
"She loves it." How did he not know this?
"But I don't know any Shakespeare!"
"Shakespeare wrote sonnets, not poetry. Besides, Anna has read his works several times over. You'd need something new." Elsa paused, mentally reviewing what she knew sister had read. "I don't think she's read much by Jonathan Keats."
"Who?" The blank expression on Kristoff's face caused her to sigh.
With a groan, Elsa stood, walked to her bedside table, and picked up her book before walking back.
"Here." She handed it over. "This collection has a few by him."
"Thanks!" Kristoff opened the book and his eyes widened in surprise. "There's so many. Are you sure you can't...?"
Realizing it would be quicker to write it than to convince him, Elsa nodded, took her book back, and walked over to her writing desk.
13 November 1845
My Dearest Anna,
Time is short and the days are long. My eyes struggle to stay open but I could not let a day pass without telling you how I feel. Too many days have passed already. I don't believe you've read much, if any, Jonathan Keats. Read this and know my thoughts constantly drift to you.
Bright star, would I were stedfast as thou art—
Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night
And watching, with eternal lids apart,
Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite,
The moving waters at their priestlike task
Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors—
No—yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,
Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,
To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
And so live ever—or else swoon to death.
Out of habit, she folded it into an envelope and sealed it before handing it over.
"Thanks!"
The party celebrating the alliance between Arendelle and Hupruhan was in full swing by the time Elsa stepped into the ballroom. Thankful that the appearance of all nine members of her council that evening released her from the responsibility of needing to talk to each official and powerful noble in attendance, Elsa relaxed while her gaze searched for Kristoff. Spotting him surrounded by people, she watched closely, ready to step in should her friend need help. He spotted her, waved, and smiled broadly at her, obviously enjoying himself. A quick wave in response and she turned back to the party.
Elsa sighed softly and plucked a glass of wine from a passing server's tray.
Usually, Anna would be by her side all night, hand resting in the crook of Elsa's elbow and volunteering to take her place to dance with anyone who asked. A room full of people and she was lonely.
"Queen Elsa!"
Smile firmly in place, Elsa turned to face the two women in charge of the local medical school.
"Good evening Dr. Lavonne and Dr. Huff," Elsa bowed her head in greetings.
"We wanted to be the first to congratulate you on your sister's courtship. You must be very happy." Dr. Lavonne, red hair streaked liberally with gray hair, smiled widely.
"Yes, I'm very happy." Smile firmly in place, Elsa's heart broke a little at the congratulations for Anna and Kristoff.
"Anyone who has trouble with it will eventually come around," Dr. Huff reassured her, dark skin crinkling with a wide smile.
"Th-thank you." It confused Elsa as to why the Hupruhanians looked down on Kristoff so. Yes, he wasn't of noble birth but he was the first, and only, ambassador of the reclusive Troll Kingdom. Conducting himself beautifully the whole trip, Elsa could not have been more proud of him. Needing to change the subject, she inquired after their school and listened interestedly.
"Oh, we apologize for taking up so much of your time, Queen Elsa," said Dr. Huff, after realizing how long the three had spent in conversation.
"Nonsense." Elsa smiled at the two women. "I enjoyed talking with you and I look forward to sending a few of Arendelle's medical students to your school."
The charmed doctors curtsied their goodbyes and Elsa nodded hers.
This seemed to break the ice and she spent the next few hours accepting congratulations on Anna's behalf, some enthusiastic, some much more hesitant, her heart pained at each one. Most asked about Arendelle and she sidestepped inquiries about her powers, not yet trusting people outside her kingdom with that information. After politely declining yet another invitation from a noble family to visit their estate, King Mauro and Queen Aliis walked up.
"It seems you have thoroughly charmed our subjects, Queen Elsa." King Mauro did not seem particularly pleased by this, but bowed in greeting and his wife curtsied.
"They have been absolutely lovely, King Mauro." Elsa curtsied warily, remembering their disastrous first meeting.
"You're just the newest oddity to visit Hupruhan." Apparently he intended to continue his unpleasantness.
"What my husband means is that our subjects enjoy meeting new people." Queen Aliis shot him a warning look and he nodded grudgingly.
"Of course." Elsa ignored the king and spoke directly to his wife. "I look forward to when you have a chance to visit Arendelle."
"That won't be any time soon," King Mauro grumbled with distaste.
"We look forward to your invitation." She also chose to ignore her husband's muttering.
"Perhaps in the spring. There is a week long flower festival that is quite lovely and we'd love to host you." Elsa smiled.
"That would-"
"Absolutely not!" King Mauro interrupted. "We will not be visiting under any circumstances. It's-"
"Mauro!" Queen Aliis interrupted. "I see Ambassador Lipsa is finally free. You had been looking for her earlier, weren't you?"
King Mauro nodded and stomped away without a glance back .
"I apologize for my husband, Queen Elsa. I hope this doesn't cause you to rethink our alliance."
"I would never let personal feelings dictate matters of state," she said, her expression cool.
"Of course." Queen Aliis was unable to hide her flinch. "My husband is a bit... umm... old fashioned."
Elsa raised an eyebrow.
"Your sister."
"Who my sister chooses to court is no one's business but her own." It took a great deal of effort to keep her tone even. It honestly baffled her over what he could possibly object to about Kristoff. If not for her own feelings, she would have been thrilled to have him as a brother-in-law.
"Of course, Queen Elsa. But you have to admit, it's a tad unconventional."
"No," Elsa's voice icy, "I don't."
They stood silently together, Queen Aliis unable to hide how uncomfortable she was and Elsa unwilling to put her at ease.
"I hope in the future our kingdoms will grow closer. I should find my husband." Queen Aliis curtsied.
"As do I." Elsa turned away without a curtsy or nod to find more pleasant company.
Elsa was thankful for the presence of her council in Hupruhan, as it meant she could hide in her room for the day and not have to hear more people congratulate her on Anna's courtship.
The letter writing had to stop.
In the beginning, Elsa believed it would help her move past everything but she only found herself falling deeper in love with every stroke of the pen.
Tonight's letter would be the last, no matter how much Kristoff pleaded. Her heart could not handle spilling itself on the page for another to take credit. Deciding to no longer hide under the guise of writing as someone else, Elsa sat at the writing desk in her room one last time.
15 November 1845
My Dearest Anna,
My role as Queen requires I be well-spoken and yet when I see your smile it steals my words and I find myself not caring a single wit. Letters seem to be the only place I am able to untie my tongue.
These precious feelings I hold dear, fill me with sunshine brighter than any day. And I find myself rejoicing in every sparkling moment. Music speaks of passion as an all consuming fire but fail to mention it is quiet times with your beloved where it truly blooms; nights quietly reading with you by my side, dinners spent laughing about our day, exploring the world outside the castle walls together, your wonder at my powers.
I remember the exact moment I fell in love with you.
It was only a month after my coronation and we were walking in the garden. That summer day was pleasantly warm, the air filled with the smell of the flowers around us. Olaf still had his own personal flurry then. You had leaned down to give him a hug. When you stood back up snowflakes clung to your hair and eyelashes and you smiled at me. As I watched the flakes melt, I was struck by how stunningly beautiful you were. Then you held my hand and my heart soared higher than the towers of our home. At that moment, I knew I would love you for the rest of my life.
Every piece of my heart belongs to you and you alone.
Forever Yours,
Elsa
Folding her arms on the desk, Elsa laid her head down and sobbed.
Knock knock.
"Hey, Elsa! I was just about to..." Kristoff trailed off noticing her red eyes and still falling tears. "What's wrong?" He asked softly.
"This is the last one." Elsa held out the sealed letter.
"But-"
"Please, I can't." Elsa wiped her falling tears away and held out the letter again. "You'll need to edit this quite a bit."
"Okay." He took the letter from shaking fingers.
Unable to stand Kristoff's concerned look any longer, Elsa turned and hurried away.
Lights from Arendelle Castle came into view and still Elsa stayed silent. Several times during the trip back home Kristoff tried to start a conversation but she had been unable to push anything past her broken heart and kept her gaze focused out the window.
Due to the much larger party traveling back to Arendelle, most of the soldiers stayed with the goods portion of the caravan and the lighter, faster, sleighs traveled on ahead. Thus, it was only a couple of hours after dinner when the sleighs pulled up into the courtyard.
"Elsa!" Anna wrapped her in a tight embrace. "I missed you," she whispered.
Returning the hug, Elsa closed her eyes and basked in the feeling of being in Anna's arms. Tomorrow she would distance herself until being only her big sister no longer hurt. No more long hugs, no more sleepovers, no more intimate dinners just the two of them... no more wishing for the impossible.
"I missed you, too." She tightened her hold and trembled.
"Are you alright?" Anna pulled back and looked at her in concern.
"Yes," Elsa stepped fully out of her sister's embrace and fought back tears at the loss of contact. "I'm exhausted. Good night, you two." Worried she'd do something stupid like confess her broken heart to Anna, Elsa smiled tiredly and turned to walk up the castle steps.
"But-"
"Let her go, Feisty Pants." Kristoff's low whisper still reached her ears. "She had a tough week."
"O-okay. Umm... how was the trip home?"
"Great."
The castle door closed behind her, blocking out the two happily chatting voices.
Too tired from tossing and turning the night before to conjure her ice dress, Elsa wore her favorite lavender dress for breakfast. It wasn't until she was halfway there that remembered it was her favorite because it was Anna's favorite dress.
Elsa paused outside the door to the dining room. I can do this. Conceal it, don't feel it, don't let it show...
"Good morning!" The bright, cheery voice from behind startled her.
"Anna!" Elsa spun around. "I thought..." she swallowed hard. The dress in deep green with accents of different hues of purple was one she had never seen before and instantly shot to the top of her favorite dresses on her sister.
"You like it?" Anna asked shyly and smoothed out nonexistent wrinkles at her sides.
Unable to speak, Elsa simply nodded; putting the lid back on her feelings already proving to be difficult.
Anna grabbed her hand and pulled her into the dining room.
In the doorway Elsa froze.
There, in front of Anna's normal seat, lay an envelope with an unbroken teal seal. Before Elsa could grab the letter or pull her sister out of the room, Anna picked it up and began reading.
This is it. My life with Anna is over. There was no way her sister wouldn't recognize her handwriting. Elsa closed her eyes and waited for the end.
"You have a beautiful way with words."
"What?" Elsa's eyes shot open. She expected anger or confusion, not this breathless compliment.
"And you signed it this time." A wide smile and two freckles formed a heart.
"But... but the letters were from Kristoff."
"Kristoff?" Anna looked utterly baffled. "Why would he write to me?"
"Because he's courting you?"
"Courting me? We..." Tears filled her eyes as realization began to dawn. "We broke up months ago. Before my birthday."
"You did?" Elsa clutched her braid in confusion. Why did Kristoff need those letters?
"You didn't write this for me?"
"Yes. No. I... I..." Nothing made sense and Elsa clutched her braid tighter. "Kristoff asked me to write love letters to you for him."
"Oh." The tears in her eyes finally fell. "I'm sorry. I thought... I thought..." Anna backed up shakily. "Oh god, I'm so stupid ."
Elsa's heart screamed at her to stop Anna from leaving or she'd regret it everyday of her life.
"Wait!" Rushing around the table, Elsa grabbed her sister's shoulders. "You thought they were from me?"
"They were in your handwriting," Anna whispered, head down and refusing to meet her eyes.
"Did you want them to be from me?" Elsa's heart raced and, for the first time, hope blossomed.
An unintelligible mummer.
Hooking a finger under Anna's chin, Elsa lifted her head and asked again. "Did you want them to be from me?"
Cheeks wet with tears Anna answered quietly. "Yes."
Gathering her courage tightly, Elsa leaned forward. Their first kiss, merely a brush of lips, tasted of salt.
"I love you." Elsa brought her hands up and cupped Anna's face tenderly, wiping away the tears. "I meant every word I wrote for you."
Elsa watched, as once again, two freckles formed a heart.
"I love you, too."
Not entirely sure this wasn't a hallucination brought on by her intense need, Elsa wrapped her arms around Anna's waist and pulled her close, needing to feel the solid weight against her.
Anna wrapped her arms around Elsa's neck and leaned forward to press a kiss to her lips.
Unable to hold back any longer, Elsa licked the seam of Anna's lips, seeking entry and slowly explored her mouth. One kiss turned into two, then three, then four, and Elsa lost herself to sensation and taste.
A soft knock at the door moments before it opened.
"Sorry for interrupting, Your Majesty, Your Highness."
Keeping her eyes close, Elsa pulled back from the kiss and leaned her forehead against her sister's and struggled to catch her breath.
Two sets of footsteps walked to the table, a soft thunk of food trays being set down, and then footsteps headed back out.
The door closed with a soft click and giggles could be heard.
Finally opening her eyes, Elsa's gaze locked on the smiling pink lips that, for some unknown reason, were not kissing hers.
"You know this will be all over the castle in five minutes."
Elsa nodded.
"And probably all over Arendelle before dinner."
Elsa nodded again.
"And it doesn't bother you?"
Elsa shook her head.
"Oh."
Concerned, Elsa finally tore her gaze up from Anna's lips. "Will it bother you?"
Anna pressed their foreheads together again. "Not in the slightest."
"Good." Elsa closed the small distance between them and kissed Anna. It took mere seconds for the slow, gentle kiss to turn heated once again and Elsa's tongue explored the slick softness of Anna's mouth.
She tightened her hold around her sister's waist and kissed along her jaw and down her smooth, pale neck.
"Oh!"
Elsa smiled and nipped the same spot again.
"Breakfast..." Anna panted. "C-cold... oh... yes, right there."
"Hot breakfasts are overrated."
Elsa knew she should be working but could not find any motivation to do so and continued to smile dazedly out the window. Sleet and snow, carried by strong winds, pummeled the castle and the mid-afternoon sky could be mistaken for night.
It was beautiful.
Anna had kissed her.
She had kissed Anna.
"The letters worked I see."
Elsa jumped in her seat and found a smirking Kristoff, arms crossed, standing in her doorway.
"What?"
"The letters I had you write to Anna. From your smile, it looks like they worked." Kristoff walked in, a happy spring to his step.
"You tricked me?" She unsuccessfully tried to frown disapprovingly.
"Yup!" Looking incredibly pleased with himself, Kristoff relaxed in a chair in front of her desk.
"Then, that first letter..."
"Oh man." A wince. "That was so bad . I'm not that much of an idiot."
Elsa blushed.
"Thanks a lot, friend ." Kristoff rolled his eyes at her. "Anyway, when I learned the Hupruhanians had heard the rumors from Arendelle, I thought for certain they'd give me away."
"Rumors? What rumors?"
"The current one is that Anna and I broke up before her birthday because you stole her away from me and I'm learning diplomacy from you, not to help the trolls, but to overthrow you and take her back."
"What?!" Elsa's jaw dropped at the absurdity.
"Sorry, but you can keep the job. I'll help my family but I prefer harvesting ice. Besides," he smiled, "you and Anna belong together."
"Then..." All those congratulations had been for Anna and her , not Anna and Kristoff. No wonder so many Hupruhanians looked uncomfortable. "How did Anna even get my letters? They weren't addressed to her."
"Since I was in charge of the correspondence with Arendelle, it was easy to just slip them into the packets meant for Anna."
"Did... did you read..." Now that she knew the letters were supposed to be from her, Elsa grew uncomfortable thinking Kristoff might have opened them.
"No, I didn't read any of them." Kristoff stood. "I should probably go get the letters Anna wrote you."
Elsa sat up.
"Letters? Anna wrote back?"
"Yup." Walking out the door, Kristoff called over his shoulder, "don't worry! I didn't read those either!"
"Wait!" Elsa stood and hurried after her friend. "Where are these-"
The office door clicked shut.
Epilogue
15 June 1847
Dearest Elsa,
I don't have a way with words as you do, but today I wanted to try. You inspire me to try so many new things and even when they don't work out, with you there, it is always fun.
Our courtship may not have been accepted by everyone, but I am thankful each day to wake by your side and be the one you kiss good morning. Our first kiss and our first night together are memories I hold close to my heart and will always cherish and I look forward to the many more memories we will make together.
From the very first letter I have cherished each you have sent. On the few occasions I have been unable to travel with you, I pull out my favorites to reread them before going to sleep and feel close to you no matter how far you are. I am eagerly awaiting the next one.
The first as your wife.
Eternally Yours,
Anna
Quick Author's Note: when Charles Dickens originally published Oliver Twist in 1838, six months before the serialization was complete, he published it in three volumes. I figured they would have had this printing in their library.