Kelly watched Sonny with concern etched across his face. The teen was quickly shovelling heaped spoonfuls of cereal into his mouth, his appetite had returned in full force since the night before. Sonny found himself cramming as much into his mouth as possible; it was a habit he'd developed over the years to help him survive Ryder's long weeks away. Ryder tried his best but often the food supplies he left behind for Sonny were never enough, the young blonde had learnt to make the rations last as long as possible but not knowing when Ryder would return didn't help. Therefore before Ryder left for his trips Sonny would eat as much as could, as he didn't know how long it would be until he would have a full stomach again. Even though Sonny knew Kelly and Matt weren't leaving anytime soon he couldn't stop the doubt creeping into his mind, so he continued stuffing as much cereal as he could manage, after all its better to be safe than sorry. Suddenly Sonny's thoughts were interrupted by a concerned voice.

"Woah Sonny slow down" warned Kelly gently as the boy showed no sign of stopping, he was afraid the teen was going to make himself sick.

"Sorry" mumbled the blonde sheepishly as his hand paused mid air, Sonny stared at the spoon piled with cereal for a few moments before slowly moving it towards his mouth again. It wasn't long before he had resumed his rapid pace, every time he attempted to slow down he felt his stomach gurgle painfully, he had to keep eating.

Meanwhile Matt was upstairs in the bathroom showering as fast as he could, every second away from Sonny felt like an hour. "He's fine, he's with Kelly" Matt assured himself as he hopped out of the shower almost slipping in his rush. He sloppily tied a towel around his waist and headed for the door when he abruptly froze in his tracks. Matt's heart sunk as he studied his haunted reflection, their were dark bags underneath his eyes and his cheeks were sunken.

"You're not good enough for Sonny" yelled a voice in Matt's head.

"You couldn't protect him last time, how do you expect to help him now?" Snapped the voice,

"I don't know" whispered Matt as he stared at the broken man looking back at him. Matt didn't know how long he stood their staring in the mirror wondering what Sonny did to do deserve a father like him. Finally he shook himself out of his thoughts and hurriedly got dressed.

As Matt walked down the stairs his body felt heavy and a dull ache was spreading through his head. He felt a spike of pain as he heard a voice coming from outside followed by a knock at the door. As Matt approached the door he was able to decipher what the person was yelling.

"Kelly I'm worried about you, let me in" called the unfamiliar voice. Hesitantly Matt reached out and opened the door before the person could knock again.

"Kelly" began a dark haired woman but she froze instantly as her eyes landed on Casey.

"Y-you're not Kelly " stated the woman studying Casey with her brows furrowed in confusion.

"No I'm -" began the blonde when he was suddenly cut off by a gasp.

"Matt Casey" interrupted the woman staring at him in disbelief, even though this was their first encounter she felt like she'd known him years, she had heard hundreds of stories about the man after joining fifty one. There were photos of him dotted all over Kelly's house and even around the station, she knew how much Matt meant to Kelly but she didn't think she would ever get the chance to meet him; Kelly had once admitted to her that he believed the next time Matt would return to Chicago world be to be laid to rest.

"Sorry, I'm Stella Kelly's told me lots about you" explained Kidd as she noticed Matt's bewildered expression.

"All good I hope" joked Matt with a small nervous smile on his face, in the past when Kelly came to stay with him Kidd's name had popped up frequently. Matt owed a lot to the woman in front of him, she'd looked after Kelly over the last few years, she'd been Kelly's shoulder to cry on when Matt had become incapable of offering even the tiniest bit of comfort and for that Matt would forever be grateful.

"Come in, Kelly's cooking breakfast" informed Matt stepping aside to allow Stella inside . He watched as the corners of her mouth twitched, he could practically hear the question dancing on the tip of her tongue, why was he in Chicago?

As Stella reached the kitchen all of her questions vanished and her mind went blank, she stared in shock at the blonde teen sat at the counter. It didn't take a genius to work out who the boy was, she'd heard the stories of the firefighters missing son and the boy was practically a miniature of version of him. She'd also seen his photo, it was hanging in the common room and at Molly's , it was an unusual photo as with the help of Antonio Dawson Kelly had gotten it edited with special software to show what the boy would look like now, personally she had never trusted the software but now as she studied the blonde she had to admit it was pretty close.

"Sonny" breathed Stella looking towards Kelly who was beaming madly, meanwhile Sonny was watching with a mix of embarrassment and curiosity. He had no clue who the woman was and it felt extremely weird having a stranger know exactly who you were, he wondered if this was how celebrities felt when they were recognised in the streets.

After the awkward introductions Sonny ran off upstairs to get ready giving Kelly the perfect opportunity to explain the situation to Stella. The fellow firefighter had listened intently, a sad smile had graced her lips and she offered Kelly a warm hug, she couldn't even begin to fathom how difficult this situation would be for the two men and Sonny. She couldn't imagine how painful it would feel to have your son look at you like a stranger, or to only interact with two people for nearly a decade and then to be suddenly thrown into the chaotic world. But no matter their struggles she knew Kelly would stick by them and she vowed to do the same, they were Kelly's family, the reason he was the wonderful caring man she loved so much.

Not long after Sonny had returned Kidd left as she didn't want to overwhelm the boy, before leaving she had promised not to tell anyone about Sonny as Kelly wanted to give the boy chance to settle in first. Once Kidd had left Kelly declared it was time to go shopping, the teen was in desperate need of more clothes, they'd quickly washed and dried Sonny's clothes the night before but there was no way they could continue doing that forever.

As they parked outside a large store all of Sonny's previous excitement melted away , he didn't expect it be so hectic. As he observed the bustling carpark his stomach was doing somersaults and he could feel his heart thumping violently, the busiest place he'd ever been was the hospital a few days, however Sonny had been in too much shock to fully understand what was going on then, at the time he hadn't been very aware of his surroundings as the only thing on his mind had been finding Ryder. Even the police station had been extremely peaceful as it had been late at night. As they climbed out of the car his legs felt like lead, anxiously he shuffled inside the large building subconsciously leaning as close to Kelly as he could without physically touching him.

"Where should we go first ?" Questioned Kelly in a joyful tone as they stepped inside, Sonny remained silent as his eyes frantically scanned the entrance, the sound of shopping carts clattering vibrated through his skull, and he was surrounded by deafening chatter; he was finding it increasingly difficult to focus. You're fine he reminded himself, but as his palms became sweaty he started to become frustrated, it was just a noisy building , there was nothing to worry about, he needed to stop being so pathetic and act like a man. Sonny allowed himself to be lead towards one of the quieter aisles and released a sigh of relief as he realised no one else was occupying it.

Matt watched his son carefully, they only had a few items in the trolley but the boy already seemed tired and overwhelmed. He flashed him a warm smile which Sonny shakily returned.

"Are you alright Sonny?we can do this another time if you prefer" Offered Matt gently but the boy instantly shook his head in dismissal.

"Huh, no it's fine, I'm good" responded Sonny in a tense tone which did nothing to ease Matt's worry.

"Ok then, but tell us if you need to leave" advised Kelly exchanging a concerned glance with Casey. They both knew not to push the boy but they were far from convinced that he was ok.

As they traded the safety of the empty aisle for a crowded one Sonny could feel his heart in his throat. He spared a few fearful looks at the people walking around, they kept getting too close to him, he could hear every breath they took, also they kept shooting him funny looks, he felt like he was being watched, maybe they were mad at him, was he supposed to smile or wave?they all seemed so unhappy, had he done something wrong? His thoughts spun around his head and his breathing sped up rapidly, he didn't like it here very much, he wanted to go home. He wanted out.

"Sonny is everything alright?" Inquired Kelly as he picked up on the boys distress, when Sonny remained unresponsive Kelly switched into work mode, he had helped a few victims in similar states before.

"Hey buddy you've got to slow down your breathing for me", instantly Sonny's body stilled and his eyes flooded with sorrow.

Buddy,

"I'm sorry buddy"

The words stabbed Sonny in the chest and his breathing only worsened, he felt like he was drowning, he needed Ryder, he would know what to do . He wanted desperately to be back in their cozy car listening to the sound of the radio, or to be sat on one of the lumpy motel beds watching cartoons. In fact he didn't care where he was he he just needed Ryder, he wanted the other man to pull him into a warm hug like he did after he had horrible nightmares. He wanted to feel safe again in Ryders arms one last time. Ryder had been right Sonny wasn't made to be apart of the real world, he was better off locked away.

Sonny could feel eyes boring into him and he could hear whispers swirling through the air, he searched frantically for a away out , Sonny began shaking his head from side to side in despair , he was trapped. With no other option he pressed his hands tightly over his ears, he dropped to the floor and shuffled backwards until his back collided with one of the metals shelves, a jolt of fear went through him at the pain and the loud clatter the shelf made, he hugged his knees tightly to his chest and kept his head down, he wanted to forget the rest of the world existed, he just wanted Ryder.

Fear had spread through Matt like wildfire when Sonny had started shaking his head violently as he let out devastating whimpers, when the boy dropped to floor Matt had felt completely helpless, he immediately crouched down with the boy and attempted to get his attention but it was no use, Sonny's panic had taken control. When all of his attempts to speak to Sonny fell on deaf ears and the boy was still breathing dangerously fast Matt realised he had no choice but to reach out and initiate contact, he was terrified that the slightest touch would only upset the boy more. Matt reached out and tentatively grasped the boy's wrist, he felt sonny's arm tense but thankfully he didn't pull away, he could feel the teen shaking as Matt placed Sonny's hand on his heart, he hoped the feeling of his steady heartbeat would help ground the frighted boy, after what felt like years Sonny's whimpers began to ebb and his breathing slowly returned to normal. Suddenly Matt felt Sonny lunge towards him and press his head into his chest, Matt instantly understood, Sonny wanted to be hidden from everyone else around them. Matt wrapped his arms around the boy and rubbed soothing circles on his back.

"Shh Sonny it's ok, I've got you, it's ok" soothed Kelly holding the boy tightly to his chest.

"I want to go home" stuttered the teen keeping his head nestled against Matt.

"Ok Sonny, we'll get you home safe and sound".

Kelly had been watching anxiously from the sidelines, he'd shooed away most of the most nosy onlookers but a few were still lingering around , he abandoned the shopping cart and offered his hand to Sonny to help the distraught boy up, Sonny wordlessly accepted it but his eyes were glued sombrely to the floor. Matt kept an arm around Sonny's shoulders as he whispered soft reassurances in the boys ear.

As Sonny pressed his head against the cool glass window a deep crimson blush was staining his cheeks, he was a failure, he was fourteen years old and he couldn't survive a simple shopping trip. What if Kelly and Matt didn't want him anymore now they knew how broken he was? Sonny had always felt slightly annoyed that Ryder had kept him isolated from the rest of the world and he'd always longed to have a normal life, but now he understood. Ryder had been protecting him.