A few days had passed since Sonny's visit to fifty one and they had returned to their normal routine. Sonny hoped that his and Matt's game of Monopoly had been forgotten. He was sat at the dining table with Matt and Kelly half listening to what they were saying. As per usual the two men were keeping up a steady stream of conversation while he focused on his food. They often attempted to involve him but he only responded with short answers. The two men knew he was never talkative during mealtimes but that never stopped them from trying to engage him, Sonny suspected it was an attempt to stop him from eating so fast. He appreciated their help but he hated how much of their lives he was taking up, he affected everything they did, he wasn't sure how long it would be until they grew sick of him.
Once all their plates were empty Sonny stood up to help Kelly with the dishes like he always did. He listened to the end of one of Kelly's stories as he placed the last plate on the drying rack before turning around, he felt the colour drain out of his face when he saw Matt setting up the dreaded board game. His mind was screaming at him and he remained frozen in place as he watched Kelly sit down at the table.
"I'm surprised you still have all the pieces" remarked Kelly as he picked up the small metal battle ship, Matt had informed him of Sonny's strange behaviour and he agreed with Matt that they needed to find the cause. Dr Charles had told them that if they could find Sonny's triggers they could learn how to handle them. They couldn't undo the past ten years but with the right help and support Sonny could go on to lead a happy life.
"I found them all after Hermann flipped the board" replied Matt in a light tone as he smiled fondly at the memory. Years ago Shay's constant cheating had clashed with Hermann's no nonsense attitude and resulted in an explosive argument, which was why the game was hidden in Kelly's office.
"Isn't it a bit too late to play monopoly?" questioned Sonny in a desperate attempt to stall the game; he wasn't ready for his happiness end.
"It's six pm Sonny" Kelly responded incredulously as he quirked an eyebrow at the boys poor attempt at avoiding the game.
"And we're not going anywhere tomorrow, it's not like we need to get yo early" Matt added in a light tone.
"Ok" mumbled Sonny dropping down into his chair in defeat. He watched sullenly as Matt placed three metal pieces on the board before dishing out the fake money. As the game began Sonny took one last look at the two men in front of him, he'd miss seeing them smile brightly at him.
Sonny barely concentrated on the actual game instead he studied his money intently , he didn't want to mess up in front of them. He was doing everything he could to keep his secret. Every time it was his turn to roll the dice he silently prayed he wouldn't land on the community chest or chance space. They were half way through the game and all he'd had was close calls. Then his luck finally ran out, as his piece hovered over the space with a question mark his hand began to shake. He placed the dog down and urged himself to calm down before he picked up the top card. He stared at the small piece of paper wishing the ground would just swallow him whole, he didn't want them to know how stupid he was, he didn't want to get kicked out.
"Sonny-" began Kelly sensing the boy's distress but he was cut off when Sonny slammed the card down on the table. Panic took over and Sonny stood up with both of his hands leaning on the table his face was bright read and Kelly could see the fear dancing in the boys eyes.
"I can't read!" he screamed as he shook with terror.
"Happy now, the freak can't read. Go on laugh I know you want to" roared Sonny tears leaking out of his eyes. Both men stared in shock at the boy, hearing Sonny's harsh words about himself was like a stab in the heart.
"Kick me out, I don't... don't care" ,Sonny's shouting quickly turned to sobs as he collapsed back down in his chair. Tentatively Matt reached out and placed a hand on Sonny's shoulder but the boy shrugged him off as he buried his head in his arms.
"We'll never kick you out Sonny" assured Matt feeling sick at just the idea of loosing his boy again. Sonny shook his head, despite the man's kind tone he knew Matt didn't mean his words. This was part of a cruel joke, they were going to pretend everything was ok and then tomorrow they'd drive him to an unfamiliar park or shop and leave him there.
He remembered the few times he'd pushed Ryder too far, the man would stop the car in the middle of nowhere and throw Sonny out before continuing driving. The first time it happened was a few weeks after Eve's death. The sorrowful little boy had been crying about the loss of his surrogate sister causing a grief ridden Ryder to snap. After being dragged out of the vehicle, Sonny had remained where Ryder had shoved him onto the floor, he hugged his knees to his chest as tears cascaded down his face. By the time Ryder returned Sonny's sobs had turned to a combination of shaky breaths and whimpers. The boy had been too hysterical to notice Ryder's car reappearing, he'd been jolted to his senses when Ryder pulled him to his feet. The man tilted Sonny's chin-up, forcing the boy to meet his eyes.
"Come on now, no more crying. It's time to move on. Forget about her" Ryder had ordered in a firm voice as he thumbed away the last of Sonny's tears. Ryder had only been gone for less than an hour but to the young blonde it had felt like forever.
The next time Ryder abandoned him at the side of the road, it was a whole day before the man returned. But no matter how much time passed Sonny never moved from where Ryder left him, after all he had nowhere to go, Ryder was all he had. Ryder left him behind only a handful of times but each and every incident was engrained in Sonny's mind. The one thing all the incidents had in common was that Ryder always came back, except this time. Now Ryder was gone forever , if the man who raised him didn't want to stick around then why would the man who's life he ruined. Sonny had known from the start that Matt would eventually get sick of him, he just thought he had more time.
"Please Sonny look at me" urged Matt softly but the boy kept his head down. Sobs wracked his body, he was too tired to stop himself from crying, he couldn't contain his emotions anymore, Matt winced as Sonny's defeated cries filled the kitchen.
"Sonny I don't care, nothing will change the fact you're my son" insisted Matt hoping Sonny didn't notice his voice breaking.
"Stop lying" shouted Sonny raising his head to stare into Matt's eyes. Matt's heart thumped violently in his chest when he saw the terror swimming in Sonny's eyes.
"Sonny I will never ever lie to you, i promise" Matt declared as he placed a hand on Sonny arm again, thankfully the blonde didn't push him away.
"I'm sorry I'm broken" Sonny croaked as he allowed Matt to pull him into a hug.
"Oh Sonny you're not broken, you're just in a lot of pain right now but we'll get through it together" soothed Matt as he held onto his boy. If Matt had it his way, he'd never let go of the blonde teen again.
After a while exhaustion took over and Sonny collapsed into Matt's arms, the older blonde then carefully carried the sleeping boy to bed. As he tucked Sonny in, guilt washed over Matt, how could he have missed the fact Sonny couldn't read? Despite knowing that Sonny had never been to school it never occurred to Matt that he wouldn't know how to read.
"I'm sorry Sonny, I should have realised, I'm so sorry" apologised Matt as he leant down and kissed the boy's forehead. Right now Matt's main priority was making sure Sonny knew that they would never abandon him in a million years, Matt's heart ached at the boys fear of being kicked out. He wondered sadly what Ryder had done to make the boy so insecure.
"I'm sorry I'm broken" Sonny's words had been replaying in Matt's head all night. His body ached with exhaustion but he couldn't sleep as he thought about his distraught son. Matt rolled over in an attempt to shake away his thoughts when Suddenly a loud scream pierced through the quiet house. Without hesitation Matt leapt to his feet and sprinted down the corridor as adrenaline surged through him. When he reached Sonny's room the screaming intensified, the young teen was thrashing around in his sleep as he let out another terrified shriek. Matt leant over the boy ignoring Kelly who rushed into the room immediately after him.
"Wake up Sonny, it's just a nightmare" Matt assured in a firm voice,
"You're safe Sonny, please wake up Kiddo" he begged as he placed his hands on Sonny's arms in attempt to stop the boy's thrashing, he was afraid Sonny was going to hurt himself by hitting the wall.
"Come on Sonny, we're here for you. Please wake up" urged Matt feeling his heart fill with dread, he felt like he was trapped in a nightmare of his own. After a few more desperate pleas Sonny's eyes shot open and he began panting. His eyes darted around the room before landing on Matt, his heart was still racing with fear as clung onto Matt while the man rubbed circles on his back.
"You're ok Sonny, I've got you".
Once Sonny calmed down he pushed himself away from Matt and stared up at the ceiling,
"I'm sorry for waking you" he mumbled his voice dripping with embarrassment.
"Don't be Sonny" comforted Matt, but the boy shook his head. He hadn't had a night terror in years, he'd hoped he'd never have to deal with them again. He could handle nightmares on his own but he despised disturbing anyone else with his screaming. Slowly Sonny swung his legs over the edge of the bed, his mind was foggy with exhaustion but he couldn't face another bad dream.
"Come on Sonny why don't you try to get some more sleep?" Suggested Kelly gently, he'd been watching the heartbreaking scene from the corner or the room.
"N-no, I can't" mumbled Sonny scrubbing a hand across his face. Kelly sighed as he studied the boy in front of him, he understood Sonny's reluctance to go back to bed after his horrific nightmare but he was in desperate need of sleep. Kelly wasn't sure how much longer the blonde could run on such little energy.
"Alright then, head on down stairs I'll join you in a second " instructed Kelly calmly , Sonny looked at him in surprise before gently nodding and padding out of the room. Immediately Matt went to follow but Kelly put out his arm to stop him.
"Go back to bed Matt" urged Kelly softly as looked at the dark bags underneath Matt's eyes,
"No Kel, I can't, not when I know he's this upset" Matt responded, he was surprised Kelly would even suggest such a thing.
"Casey you've barely slept all week, I get that you want to be there for him but you're no use to anyone if you're dead on your feet" responded Kelly, the blonde thought for a second before reluctantly nodding . As much as he wanted to be there for his son He knew Kelly was right, his head was starting to throb and his eyelids were becoming heavy. As soon as Matt's head hit his pillow all of his adrenaline from earlier disappeared and he fell into a dreamless sleep.
When Kelly entered the living room Sonny was sat on the sofa staring off emptily into the distance
"Let's try something other than cartoons today" suggested Kelly as he turned off the main light and instead switched on a nearby lamp which emitted a warm glow. Sonny's eyes landed on the object in Kelly's hands and he was overcome with confusion and shame.
"I told you I can't read" mumbled sonny as he eyed the book mournfully, it was the same book Stella had given him.
"I know, but I can" Kelly replied as he sat down next to the boy.
"My mum always used to read to me when I wasn't feeling so good " explained Kelly remembering how safe he used to feel as he listened to his mother's calming voice, that was before everything went wrong. Sonny offered the man a small nod, he would do anything to stop the thoughts rampaging through his mind. As Kelly began to read he felt his tension slip away. The man's warm voice danced through the air and Sonny's heartbeat returned to a steady rhythm. Slowly his eyes lids began to drop and the world started to melt away.
Kelly had reached the second chapter when Sonny began to lean heavily on him, by time he'd reached the third chapter the blonde's head was pressed against his shoulder as he laid half on Kelly's lap and half on the sofa. As the boy's soft snores filled the room Kelly gently stroked his messy blonde hair. Feeling the weight of the boy against his chest reminded him of when Sonny was only a few weeks old, it had been a stressful time as the poor infant had colic. Hallie had been staying with them with Sonny; both her and Matt were flat out exhausted, which was why Kelly had insisted on comforting the infant that night. He remembered holding Sonny close against his chest as he paced back and forth whispering soft reassurances. Now as Kelly looked at the sleeping teenager he felt the same urge to protect and look after the boy.
"We'll always be here for you kiddo" Kelly whispered , despite the boys fears he was never going to leave him behind. He loved Sonny as if he was his own.