TW-homophobia
Hope you enjoy this chapter.
The cabin was deathly silent when Kelly felt the warm weight against his chest shift. He let out a sigh as he realised Matt had awaken to check on his son who was sleeping peacefully in the other room. A quick glance at the bedside clock told him it was only three am, despite the early hour Matt had already checked on Sonny four times since they'd gone to bed.
"Hey Matty" called Kelly gently rubbing circles on the other man's upper arm in an attempt to distract him. He understood the other man's anxiety but he wished Matt would at least try to get a good night sleep.
"Hi Kel" Matt replied sleepily as he pressed his head up against Kelly's shoulder.
"You ok?" laughed Kelly as the other man let out a yawn.
"Mm tired" sighed Matt and Kelly didn't doubt it for one second , he could feel the pressure against his shoulder increasing as Matt's body began to give in to exhaustion.
"Then go back to sleep",
"I need to check on Sonny" declared Matt attempting to roll out of bed but his efforts were stopped by Kelly. The dark haired man pressed his hand against Matt's chest pinning the tired blonde in place.
"He'll be fine Matt" promised Kelly, he knew if Matt got up now he'd continue doing it for the rest of the night.
"No I-" began Matt but he was interrupted by a yawn.
"I'll go Matt" said Kelly as he climbed out of bed, he hoped Matt would succumb to sleep during his absence.
"Thanks Kel" called Matt but the other man was already gone.
As Kelly entered the living room he found Sonny sprawled out on the sofa bed dead to the world. Kelly would have done anything for Matt to be in the same state as his son but he understood the man's nerves. The last time he and Matt had shared a bed the blonde had cried himself to sleep; he'd wake up in the middle of the night calling out for Sonny.
Also Kelly suspected checking on Sonny at night regularly wasn't a new thing, Casey had probably been routinely checking on Sonny back home ,but as they were in separate rooms Kelly had been unaware.
When Kelly reentered the bedroom he chuckled at the lump under the duvet and the small tuft of blonde hair sticking out. Carefully Kelly attempted to move the blonde over to give himself more space.
"Sonny ok?" Mumbled Matt. As soon as Kelly settled back down in the bed Matt found his way into the man's arms. Kelly felt elated, he'd dreamt of holding Matt in his arms for ten years. Every night he spent on the sofa bed at Matt's derelict house during the years of Sonny's disappearance had been soul crushing. Some nights he'd even sit outside Matt's bedroom. He'd press his back up against the door and listen to the sound of Matt's heartbroken cries. Resisting the urge to barge into the room and pull Matt into a tight embrace had been nearly impossible, but years of experience had told Kelly that Matt would only push him away and pretend everything was ok. And the worse thing for Matt would've been to bottle up his feelings and suppressing the urge to cry, so instead Kelly spent many nights listening to Matt's tormented cries as he begged for a brighter tomorrow.
"He's fast asleep Matt" informed Kelly.
"Good" slurred Matt as he nuzzled his head into Kelly's shoulder. The blonde's next words made Kelly's heart flutter in a way he thought it never would again.
"Love you Kel" muttered Matt with a smile.
"I love you too Matty".
The rest of the night passed by peacefully, and the next time Kelly opened his eyes sunlight was streaming into the small room.
"Morning" greeted Kelly when he noticed two blue eyes looking at him fondly.
"How'd you sleep ?" Asked the blonde, a giant smile was spread across Matt's face, unbeknownst to Kelly Matt had been watching him for the past ten minutes.
"The best I have in years" admitted Kelly as he ran his fingers through Matt's hair.
"So how does this work?" Questioned Matt his suddenly tense tone caused Kelly to freeze.
"How does what work?" He asked unnerved by the abrupt change in Matt's demeanour .
"Us, what happens when we go back to Chicago?" Asked Matt.
"I don't know" whispered Kelly, he knew what he really wanted to say but he wasn't sure Matt was ready. He wished he could tell Matt that he wanted the rest of their lives to be full of moments like the previous night, he didn't want to loose the love of his life again.
"I don't want to go back to sleeping in separate beds, I don't want to be just friends again", Kelly's heart leapt at the blonde's admission. His worries of his love being unrequited were seemingly wrong.
"Me neither" said Kelly as he planted a kiss on Matt's forehead.
"But what about sonny?" ,
"What about him Matty? I'm sure he'll understand".
"But we don't know what Ryder's beliefs were" cried Matt and suddenly a wave of understanding washed over Kelly.m
"We don't know if he was" Matt trailed off, but Kelly knew what he meant. They didn't know if Ryder was like Matt's father or like many firefighters in the CFD. They had no idea if Ryder was homophobic or not . Meaning there was a chance the boy they loved more than anything in the world could've of been raised to hate them.
"I know" whispered Kelly, his words fill of raw sadness. Both he and Matt had dealt with the hate of others time and time again but it always hurt a million times more when it came from family. His own father had simply seen it as a career ending move and saw coming out as an instant end to a successful life, he once remarked that any one with a bit of sense would keep it to themselves. Where as Matt's father had pushed his homophobic beliefs onto Matt for years, meaning Matt had struggled deeply with his sexuality for a very long time. Which was why it had hurt so much when Kelly rejected him because it had taken Matt so many sleepless nights to gather the courage to admit his love for Kelly, only to be rejected.
Even after becoming a couple they kept relationship hidden but once or twice they had let things slip. Leading to some rather unfortunate encounters, one in particular would always stick in the two men's minds.
The incident had occurred during a call not long after both Matt and Kelly made lieutenant and when Sonny was a lively three year old staying with Cindy Hermann. Both engine and squad had been called to a house fire but a few seconds after they arrived another engine from a different house turned up. Much to Matt's chagrin they decided to work the call together. Surprising the rescue itself had been easy, both houses worked fast and cooperated well with each other. But once the victims were put safely in the ambulance everything went down hill. Casey and his crew had been packing up their equipment when one of the firefighter's approached him, a rather nasty man named Welch.
"Hey Casey how's that little boy of yours doing ?" Called Welch in a slimy voice that made Matt's skin crawl.
"He's good" the blonde had answered curtly as he worked as swiftly as he could, he desperately wanted to get away from Welch. The other firefighter nodded before a dark look appeared on his face.
"Yeah, I saw you and Kelly in the park with him the other day. How does his mother feel about him being raised by a -", One word, one vile word was all it took for Casey to snap. It was a word that had been thrown at him time and time again through his entire childhood, a word that was only ever spoken with venom and disgust. That word was all it took for Matt to let go of his restraint long enough to send his fist hurdling towards the other man. The next few minutes were all a blur to Casey, he vaguely remembered feeling someone pulling him back but he couldn't remember who.
The next clear thing he remembered was standing in Boden's office. Kelly was pacing back and forth as he clenched and unclenched his fists trying to rid himself of his rage. However Matt's anger has been replaced by a deep self loathing as he found his mind replaying every time he'd heard thar vile word.
"How do you want to deal with this Casey?" Boden's inquired gently, his expression was calm and there was a warm sympathetic look in his eyes.
"What do you mean chief?" A confused Matt had asked, after causing such a scene he was sure he was at risk of being suspended.
"What he said wasn't right Matt, we could take this matter to-"
" No" Matt and Kelly yelled in unison . Reporting welch therefore taking the matter higher up the chain command would risk Benny learning their secret, something both men had worked hard to prevent.
"Ok" nodded Boden, he understood that neither of the men wanted to risk Benny finding out. They'd sacrificed a lot already to keep their relationship hidden; Welch wasn't throwing all their hard work away.
"Take the rest of shift off" continued Boden and instantly Matt shot him a pleading look, the blonde desperately needed to work through the horrible memories he was reliving.
"Chief" began Kelly always one to defend his partner.
"And you Kelly, you know we all support you but you're no use to me right now, you're both too angry" reasoned chief and deep down both men knew he was right but that didn't stop them from arguing.
"But-",
"Go spend some time together" interrupted chief in a tone that left no room for negotiations.
"And lieutenants" he called before they could leave his office.
"What you two have is really special, don't let a man like Tommy Welch take that away from you".
As Kelly revelled in the close contact between him and Matt he remembered Boden's words.
"No matter what happens Matt we'll find a way, we always do"