Glitter and Gold
Chapter 15
32 ABY – Ahch-To
Vex shifted restlessly in bed, whimper escaping her lips. EV-9's lights came on, turning to face her. Vex struggled to shift again, her enormous belly in her way. EV chirped, rolling closer. She didn't wake, face creasing with pain.
A thin, metal appendage emerged from EV's body, tapping Vex on the shoulder. The woman woke with a start, her breathing harsh. "Something's wrong," she said, wincing as she pressed a hand to her belly. She pushed her blankets down and found blood wetting the sheets. Vex let out a scream, sending the droid whirling out of the hut in search of help.
Vex slumped back into the bed, moaning softly as another ricochet of pain went through her. Her thighs were already slick with blood, but she could still feel more slowly oozing out.
Soon, Luke rushed in with the Lanai women pouring in behind him. "I'm bleeding," Vex cried as Luke rushed to her side, taking her hand.
"So you are. Vex, just relax. We'll take care of you," Luke promised as her vision began to go fuzzy, black ringing it.
"My baby," she sobbed. "Don't let him die," Vex pleaded in a daze.
Luke smoothed the hair from her sweaty forehead as her eyelids fluttered. "She's losing too much blood," he said over his shoulder. "Vex, listen to me – hold on, you and your baby will be fine," he said, words following Vex into the abyss of darkness, her eyes sliding shut.
/
When Vex woke again, she felt heavy and lethargic, and entirely disgruntled at the sun shining into her eyes. It took a few moments for her to wake enough in order to open them. Luke sat beside the bed on a stool, eyes watchful over her. "Well, isn't it nice to see those eyes open, kid," he teased.
Then it all suddenly came back to her. The lancing pains, the blood – oh god, all that blood! "The baby!" Vex cried, struggling to sit up.
Luke gently pressed on her shoulder to force her to settle back. "Your baby is fine, Vex, and so are you," he said gently. Vex leaned back, breathing out in relief. She traced her hand down the curve of her belly. "You lost a lot of blood, so you'll be weak for a while," he continued.
"What happened?" Vex questioned as Luke rose from his perch to bring her water.
"I don't know that much about childbirth, Vex. The Caretakers, they said your body is over-stressed, and basically that weird things happen when you're pregnant. We agreed, however, that you should not be doing anything. You need to stay rested, in bed, Vex," Luke explained.
"I can't get out of bed?" Vex said in derision, face scrunching up. "What will I do?"
"I'll bring you books, you'll figure out how to entertain yourself. You still have a few more weeks before your boy should come. We don't want him to come too early,"
Vex nodded solemnly. "Will you still teach me?"
Luke hesitated. "I wonder if even that is too much burden for you right now, kid. Maybe not, at first. I will come to keep you company, of course," he answered.
"Fair enough," Vex sighed. One of the Lanai entered, broom in hand. Upon seeing Vex awake, she ran back outside, crowing with excitement. Luke and Vex smiled in amusement. Luke got up as the Lanai women spilled into the room.
"Your little mothers are here to tend to you. I'll be back later, kid. I'm glad you're okay," Luke said before leaving.
The Lanai quickly set to doing just that – tending to the fire, delivering more food. Alcida-Auka came to Vex, climbing onto the stool Luke had vacated. Vex reached out to her, the amphibious woman holding onto Vex with both of her hands, leaning to press her head to Vex's. "Thank you, Momma," she whispered in their language, feeling her eyes grow heavy already.
Alcida-Auka's eyes softened, pressing her lips to Vex's forehead as she fell back to sleep.
/
It was a week before Luke would let Vex do much of anything besides sleep and read the books he'd brought her. The Lanai blamed him, apparently, for the stress that had caused Vex to almost miscarry. So he had kept his distance until the little amphibious women stopped glaring at him whenever he passed by.
But today, finally, Luke had entered Vex's abode with a sense of purpose. He tucked a small pouch away in his pocket as he came in. "Vex, it's time. We must discuss your dark deeds," he said seriously, sitting on the stool beside her bed.
The smile dropped from her lips. Vex had known this was coming – eventually – but now? "Will you judge me?" she asked, voice tremulous.
Luke shook his head. "You are redeemed, Vex. But in order for you to find peace, you must accept your dark deeds," he said.
Vex nodded slowly, sighing loudly "I suppose I'll start at the beginning. I was twelve the first time I killed. I hadn't wanted to, in fact I refused to. But then Snoke took control of my limbs and forced me to kill him," she swallowed hard, looking ashamed. "To punish me for my defiance, he forced me to kill someone everyday for a year. Hundreds died, because I told Snoke no,"
Luke sighed, reaching out and resting a hand on her shoulder. "You cannot blame yourself for his evil. You were a child – you had no one to turn to,"
"But it became my life, Luke," Vex said earnestly. "I obeyed Snoke's orders to save myself. I knew it would cause less pain in the long run if I simply did as he said,"
"You saved lives that way, Vex. At cost to yourself. Your pain and anger… it's all due to Snoke," Luke said.
Vex looked away, hands cradling her belly. "It is why I took such pride in my Killtroopers. I made myself, my battalion, feared throughout the galaxy in order to preserve as much life as possible, so that when I had to carry out a mission, people would hide instead of coming out to fight. I did not have the option of sparing their lives. My battalion was designed to be an execution squad, not anything else," she explained quietly.
Luke's gaze was sharp, but not disapproving as Vex had feared. So many of her dark deeds had been forced upon her, her ruthlessness a result of her desires to preserve life. "Tell me this, Vex," Luke said suddenly, in the lull of silence. Her piercing blue eyes found his. "Is there anything, any foul deed, that you are proud of?" he asked.
Vex began to shake her head at first but stopped after a moment of consideration. "Yes, there is one thing I'm proud of," she said.
"Tell me," Luke prompted.
"When I was thirteen, Kylo Ren and his knights of Ren joined Snoke's service," Vex began, pausing to sneak a look at the expression that crossed Luke's features. "I found them just as abhorrent as they found me. I was seen as competition for our master's attention,"
"He is no longer your master," Luke interjected as a gentle reminder.
Eyes misty, Vex nodded, swallowing hard. "He made us spar together. In one of those spars, I killed Cado," she said, seeing recognition cross Luke's face. "He took pleasure in torturing me. So when I had the opportunity, I didn't hesitate. Afterwards, I thought Snoke would be angry with me. But he wasn't – he was pleased. So I took the chance before me and I… killed the others, until Kylo and I were all that was left," she said.
"And you are proud of that?" Luke asked, expression carefully neutral.
Vex nodded. "I rid the galaxy of six evil men, bloodthirsty and eager to carry out Snoke's orders. I looked into their hearts, Luke, and there was nothing there but evil," she explained. After a few moments, her expression shifted. "Is that what you see when you look at me?" she questioned, voice breaking.
Luke shook his head. "No, Vex. Darkness is not in your heart. Even when you had just arrived here, I could see that. Vex, your heart is light, but it is weighed down by the regret for your dark deeds," Luke said.
"How can I fix that?" Vex questioned, brows furrowed. There was relief because of what Luke had said, but also confusion.
"Live a life of light and love," Luke said. "Fight against the darkness. Accept what you cannot change," he advised, fiddling in his pocket and drawing out a small pouch. "And there's this," he gives her the pouch.
Vex curiously opened it, pouring the contents into her hand. A purple crystal fell into her open palm. "A purple kyber crystal?" Vex questioned, looking up at Luke. She looked mystified, features frozen in shock.
"Purple is for Jedi that have turned from the darkness to light. I thought this could occupy your time – remake your lightsaber," he suggested.
Vex's eyes filled with tears, her hand clenching around the jagged crystal. "Luke, thank you," she said lowly, reaching out to him.
Luke enfolded the young woman in his arms, patting her back as she cried. "You are an extraordinary young woman, Vex. You have so much more to give – never give up,"
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