A/N: Hello, all! I was hoping to get this chapter out yesterday but I always do things a little late, so here we are. Today's chapter song (and the song Mason sings to Tobin) is "Be Not So Fearful" by A.C. Newman; this one was actually used in the show (s4e15 I believe? where the first group makes it to Terminus), so I think that makes it a fitting TWD song lol Like I said in the last chapter, this is really just a continuation of that one, so I think it has sort of the same feel, but I added a few lighthearted moments to keep it from getting too angsty. As always, really big thank you for reading and reviewing, I appreciate it so much! Hope you enjoy this one.
16. Be Not So Fearful
Mason climbed slowly out of sleep, reluctant to acknowledge that she was actually awake. By some miracle, she'd had no nightmares. Or she supposed that was less miracle and more to do with the arms that held her through the night.
Blindly she reached for them, and sat up when she realized they weren't there.
"Hey, hey."
The room was still dark, just a bit of light glowing through the curtains; it took her eyes a moment to adjust and see Daryl sitting nearby.
"Easy," he said. "You're alright."
"Where's Eugene?" she rasped.
"Beth took him to the infirmary. His eye swelled up while he slept and they're checkin' for infection. But he's okay otherwise."
"You didn't go with?"
"Didn't want you to be alone when you woke up. Here. Brought you some water."
He held a glass out to her and she guzzled it greedily.
"Guess I shoulda brought a whole pitcher…"
"Just dump me in a fucking pond." Mason wiped her dripping chin. "Thank you. How long have I been out?"
"'Bout a whole day."
"What?"
He shrugged. "Somethin' like that. All last night and most of today. Anyone ever told you you snore like a gutted skunk? You and fuckin' Eugene…fuckin' wonder me and Beth got any sleep."
She ignored the jab, guilt needling her gut. "You guys should've woken me."
"Nah, you needed it."
Mason looked down, running her finger along the rim of the glass. "How is everyone doing?"
"Well as could be expected. No one else died yet, if that's what you mean."
She flinched. He watched her a moment.
"Hey. You know ain't none of this shit your fault, right?" When she didn't respond, he kicked her foot lightly. "Hey. It ain't. Why you always walkin' around like you're the source of every damn misfortune? World don't revolve around you, you know."
Underneath the teasing, the genuine concern surprised her.
And for a moment, she was tempted. To spill everything. About Gina, and her mom, and her fuckhead father. About the Saviors lining her people up, about how she was the reason behind the swing of that bat…
(take a good look, doll. I want you to remember what you've done)
But she couldn't. It wasn't Daryl's problem. She'd held all this inside her for so long, never speaking of it, not even with her Misfits. She was afraid that they wouldn't be able to hide the truth in their eyes. That even though they had forgiven her, and even though they loved her, she was still the monster the rest of the Kingdom saw her as.
Why was it harder now? Why did it hurt to hold in the past with Daryl, with Beth and Eugene?
Because they understood, but more than that, because they hadn't been there.
They'd been through their own shit, been on the road, endured the walkers and the wilderness same as her. They understood that aspect far more than most in her Kingdom did. But they hadn't been there to see firsthand that war, to see what she'd done, to witness the way she'd fucked up and others paid the price. That was the difference.
After so long spent in the silence, the urge to give in to the truth, to hand over the entirety of it, was almost too much to bear.
"I, uhm…" She cleared her throat and half-smiled. "You're right. Sorry. We're all going through it right now, I just…wish yesterday hadn't happened."
In the brief silence, she couldn't tell if he bought it or not.
"You know, those people at your Kingdom," he finally said, "they don't get the right to treat you like shit. I don't care what you did before. People do shitty things sometimes. It don't mean you're a shit person."
She didn't know what to say. So she fell back on a tried-and-true tactic.
"I don't know about you, but I'm still thirsty as fuck."
Changing the fucking subject.
Daryl grabbed the glass. "I'll get you some more."
"No, I'll get it myself. It's well past time I get my ass up. Plus I wanna see how Eugene's doing."
She stood, wincing a bit as her stiff muscles protested. Her stitches burned when she tried to stretch. Standing flooded her with more than just pain; everything from yesterday came back, including a detail she'd pushed from her mind until now.
"And…I think I'll need to talk to the council," she said reluctantly.
Daryl didn't ask questions, which she appreciated. He just elbowed her and said, "C'mon, then."
~m~
Eugene tried not to slouch awkwardly in his chair. Miserable despite the painkillers Denise had given him, face and arm burning dully beneath their bandaging, left eye swollen shut. There was nothing wrong with it that was going to give him lasting damage, but it was still off-putting and more than a little irritating having only part of his eyesight.
Not really the way he'd envisioned it, sitting in as part of the council for the first time.
When Rick asked him, there in the infirmary with Mason and Daryl, all he could think to say was, "Why?" Only belatedly did he realize how ungrateful it must have sounded, but he was too shocked and tired to maintain social etiquette.
Thankfully, Rick seemed to understand. "The bullets, asking for fighting lessons, jumping in yesterday where you were needed…you've really stepped up. You're a true asset to us, Eugene. You always have been, it just took us a while to figure that out. It took you a while. We could really use your insight on the council, now more than ever."
He thought he'd feel proud. Part of him wanted to, but mostly there was just doubt.
Definitely not how he'd always dreamed. He took comfort from Mason and Daryl sitting next to him, though, and the fact that no one seemed opposed to him being there. The news that Mason was sharing, however, was not at all comforting.
"Wait, you know these people?" Glenn asked.
"I don't know if I do," she said. "I didn't see anyone I recognized, at least. But the cult I ran into on the road, they used snakes. They poisoned me and they tried to poison Ava. Maybe that's just a coincidence, but…these Wolves also said they wanted me."
Eugene stiffened. "What?"
"They said their leader gave them orders to take me alive. They used my name. I think that's really the only reason I…survived yesterday. They were afraid of what would happen if they killed me."
Michonne frowned. "But why target us? If it's you they want, wouldn't they have gone after the Kingdom first?"
"I don't know. Maybe they didn't like that I was teaching some of you to fight?" She glanced at Eugene and he stared back grimly.
"I don't think that's enough to motivate them to attack the way they did," Sasha said. "Sure, maybe the whole thing was orchestrated to capture you, but I don't think you training two of our people is enough of a reason. There's something else."
"Perhaps you are correct and it's this cult that has a score to settle," Eugene said. "I agree the finer points are too much a coincidence to deny. But, total honesty, nothing more, it does seem a bit of a stretch that they came all the way to Virginia for one person."
Mason shrugged. "Yeah. Maybe that's a coincidence."
"Given the data available to us, I'd say that's doubtful. Either it is them and they were following you specifically, or it's someone else completely."
"I don't give a hairy nutsack who's doing this," Abraham said. "It's open season on Wolves now. I say we stick to the original plan."
"How?" Glenn demanded. "We're down even less people than we were before and we have no ammo."
"I've seen us work some downright miracles with less."
"Our Knights could add a good twelve people, if Ezekiel agrees," Mason said. "Pretty sure he'll want this done as soon as possible."
"Maybe we won't even need that many," Morgan said. "Quite a few of them fell yesterday. Maybe they don't have the numbers to strike again."
"That's what we assumed before and they just kept coming," Carol muttered. "At least ten got away yesterday on our end, and there's probably more waiting in the wings. I think we have to hit them with everything we've got while we're still able."
"She's right," Rick said. "Can't hesitate now, we've got to act."
"We can't just leave today," Michonne argued. "No ammo, all our people exhausted or hurt? That's not a fighting force."
"We'd run the same risk we did yesterday, with not enough people left to defend this place," Maggie added.
Sasha shook her head. "We played the waiting game before. It's too risky."
"We have to at least allow a little time to build back our supply of ammo," Eugene said. "If I can enlist a few more candidates to assist me, this could be accomplished in a reasonable time period, taking into account several factors, of course. Supply availability shouldn't pose a significant roadblock. All bullet casings can be recycled, and some of the metal weapons dropped by our friendly neighborhood wolf pack smelted down."
"Maybe, um…maybe you won't even have to do that," Mason interjected. She stared down at the table, like she was trying to decipher a hidden code in the wood grains.
"What do you mean?" Daryl asked.
"If it's me they want, why not just, you know, give them that?"
There was a beat of silence before Abraham scoffed, "Hell no, girlie," and the others joined in.
"We don't send our allies out to die," Glenn said.
"That's not how we do things," Michonne agreed, eyes glinting.
"It's not an option," Rick growled.
But Mason didn't look as though she accepted any of it, until Eugene took her hand and said, "We will not be doing that."
She sat for a moment, jaw working, legs bouncing feverishly. "Well, then…I'll help you with the bullets. You'll need someone to watch your back out there, anyway."
"I'll go with y'all, too," Daryl said.
Rick nodded. "How many people will you need, Eugene?"
"Um. Six could streamline operations notably, if they can be spared."
"Don't worry. We'll make it work."
~m~
Beth joined Mason and Eugene in scouring the neighborhood for bullet-making paraphernalia. Daylight leaked away, but Eugene claimed flashlights would make it easier to locate casings.
Despite the approaching night, nothing in the atmosphere of the community suggested settling in for it. Everyone was up and doing something. Carl and Tara searched for casings behind the infirmary, where Sasha had made her stand during the attack. Daryl was off hunting for copperheads; apparently they came out at night. There were Misfits at every watch post; Heath and Glenn overseeing repair work on the gate; Rosita up to her elbows in the truck the Wolves had left, trying to determine if it was salvageable.
Plenty of noise, but there was silence among the three of them. Beth didn't need a mind-reader to know Mason was thinking about yesterday. She wished she wouldn't. She wished there was a way to get her to smile, just for a little bit.
When she finally spotted a casing, she made a point to glance at Eugene before she picked it up and said, "This one's empty." She hoped he would remember the game they came up with on the road out of Georgia, and he didn't disappoint.
Perfectly deadpan, he held open a bag for her to toss it into and replied, "Yeet."
Mason froze in her tracks. "Wh—what?"
Beth grinned at Eugene and he winked before pointing toward the gate. "Road work ahead?"
"Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does!" she chorused.
"Guys." Mason's voice was stern, but there was a smile teasing the corners of her mouth. "Stop."
But Beth and Eugene crowded up on either side of her instead.
"Why?" Beth asked. "Are you disgusted? Are you revolted?"
Eugene elbowed her. "Did you dedicate your entire life to our lord and savior Jesus Christ, and this is the thanks you get?"
"You guys. You're fucking idiots—"
"Did you hear that, Eugene? You're no good, duck."
"You'll never be shit," he replied.
"You're just. Like. Ya father."
Mason dissolved into unwilling giggles. "Shut up! Oh my god…"
Beth high-fived Eugene. "Sorry, Mason."
"We will try to be less hilarious next time, although if you'd like to talk mission impossibles…"
"Neither of you is hilarious. I'm embarrassed to be associated with you two." But there was no real bite to the words.
The levity didn't last long, but things weren't quite as tense as before, either.
When they finished up, night had officially fallen. They hadn't found many casings but they hadn't really expected to; Tara and Carl found a little more. But each one was a chance for survival. They dropped everything off at the armory, where Carol was taking inventory. They had a whole slew of handheld weapons now, which Beth supposed was good news.
It didn't escape her notice how Mason and Eugene started to lag at this point. Her heart clenched sympathetically. Even with as much sleep as they'd gotten, they were still bound to be worn. She motioned them toward the infirmary.
"C'mon. You can rest up in there a little while and we can make sure everythin's healin' up the way it's supposed to."
She sat them down side by side on a hospital bed and set to work examining their wounds. The swelling around Eugene's eye had come down some, though he still winced when she touched it. They both asked for water and drank it in record time.
Beth frowned. They were still clearly dehydrated and, as far as she knew, hadn't eaten much since yesterday. They needed to replenish their electrolytes.
"Denise, do we still have any Pedialyte?"
"There's some in the pantry, I think."
"Okay, guys, just sit tight. I'll be right back."
Beth stepped outside, but she didn't make it far before Daryl hurried toward her.
"Beth. Grab some gauze. Morgan and I need you."
Her heart quickened, the way it always did when called upon treat someone. "Is he hurt?"
"It's not him. Just c'mon."
She rushed back inside and grabbed a roll of gauze. Denise's eyes widened.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know, Daryl just said he and Morgan need me. Stay right there." She pointed stringently at Mason and Eugene, who started to push off from the bed. "It won't help anybody if you two pass out on me."
"You need me to come with?" Denise asked. But she cast a worried glance at her patients and Beth knew it was best she didn't leave.
"I've got this, don't worry."
Daryl led her back behind the infirmary, to the side of a house in the northwest corner. She wasn't sure what she expected, but it certainly wasn't a dingy rag of a man with a 'W' scarred on his forehead. Morgan stood over him, staff at the ready, but the man didn't seem inclined to put up a fight. Curled in on himself, he had his hands pressed to his right flank, soaked in so much blood his shirt was nearly black with it.
Beth blinked. "He's one of them."
"Found him hidin' out in the crawlspace under this house." Daryl paced back and forth, clearly wanting nothing more than to end the man right now.
"We thought if you could heal him, we could…ask him some questions," Morgan explained. "About his people. How many might be left, and if they're still hiding out in that town. Maybe even use him as leverage."
Beth swallowed, eyeing the Wolf with distaste. She didn't particularly want to help him, didn't want to take one step closer to him. But Morgan had a point. They needed all the information they could get.
Wordlessly she knelt at the Wolf's side, touching the solid comfort of her knife. Just in case. Then she set to work.
~m~
Mason was really starting to hate the smell of the infirmary. She knew from here on out, anything even comparable would bring her back to this particular hell of a headspace.
She worried what Daryl needed Beth for, but surely it couldn't be too terrible? If it was, wouldn't they need more people, more medical supplies?
The infirmary was crowded, people taking breaks from their work efforts to visit their friends and family. Sasha and Abraham sat next to Tyreese, holding hands. Tara brought some tea for Denise, who kissed her absently as she checked on Tobin. Rick and Michonne came by to go over some blueprints with Noah, who was still clammy but already looked stronger.
Quietly she watched them all, thinking over the council meeting again. What if handing herself over was the key? What if that was how she could keep these people safe?
But you still have the Kingdom to look out for. Ava and the Misfits. You can't leave them.
It was right, that was right, but knowing this didn't stop her aching with frustration and guilt.
"Shit. Tobin?"
Mason blinked. Denise had one hand pressed to Tobin's forehead, the other gripping his wrist to check his pulse.
Tobin's face contorted, waxy with fever. "It's alright, doc," he said. "I think…it's time."
Denise nodded, closing her eyes in defeat. "He's right," she said quietly. "This is it."
Mason flinched, remembering how he'd asked for fighting lessons only yesterday, how he'd stopped to help her and Eugene and gotten bit for his kindness…
A hush fell, broken only by the beeping of machinery, until Rick finally spoke.
"Can we get you anything? Anything to…make you more comfortable?"
Tobin laughed a little. "I think that's probably a lost cause at this point."
"Would it comfort you to hear any words from the Book?" Gabriel asked.
"Sorry, Father. Went to church a few times but never really found what I was looking for." He tipped his head to the side and sighed. "Music, though. That's the closest I ever felt to whatever I was looking for."
Before anyone could respond, Mason got up from the bed without conscious decision. Tobin smiled curiously as she came to stand by his side. She took his hand.
"Me, too," she said.
She didn't let herself feel self-conscious as she began to sing.
It was a gentle song, a sad song, but hopeful. It was the first thing that came to mind. She hoped it was enough. To let him know she was sorry, that everything…everything was going to be okay.
His expression relaxed while she sang. She couldn't bring herself to look away from him; ridiculous as it was, she was afraid to see the faces of the others. She shied away from the thought that she wasn't just singing in front of him, but them, as well. She hadn't done that for anyone but her closest friends in a long time.
When the song was over, Tobin smiled. "Beautiful," he murmured and closed his eyes.
Slowly, his hand went limp in hers.
She kept holding on, even when she knew he was gone. Tears slid down her face. She only let go when Denise laid a hand on her arm.
"He's gone, Mason," she said. "It's…it's alright."
She stepped back, looking away as Denise ran a knife through his temple. The others watched her in a way she wished they wouldn't. Solemn but soft. She made to retreat back to Eugene's side, but paused when she realized Beth stood in the doorway with Daryl and Morgan.
"Beth." She wiped at her eyes. "Is everything okay?"
Everyone turned to look at them, wariness mingling with their sorrow.
"We got somethin' we need to talk about," Daryl said.
~m~
"We can't keep one of them here, are you joking?" Carol looked around the table incredulously.
Eugene couldn't decide if he agreed with her or not.
"He'll be under guard the entire time," Rick assured her, though his expression was dark.
"Can we really spare someone to do that?" Maggie asked. "We need all hands on deck right now."
"I'll fuckin' do it," Abraham said. "Sitting there with my feet up, waiting for that dick slime to give me one more reason to jackhammer him with lead? Sounds like a cherry gig to me."
"It can't just be you," Sasha replied. "We'll have to rotate guard shifts."
Rick tipped his head. "Well, that's fine. We can't let this one go, not if we can learn something useful from him."
"And if we don't learn anything? What then?" Morgan asked.
"We can't let him go. We can't let them live."
Morgan said nothing but nodded. From what Eugene gathered of late, he was still struggling with his desire not to kill. But at least he seemed to have accepted that sometimes it was necessary.
"Given the severity of his wound, it will be a short piece before any information can be accrued, at least any we could trust the coherency of," Eugene said. "He is feverish and in shock. Nothing he says at the current moment can or should be trusted."
"And what about after?" Michonne said. "How do we know we can trust anything this cretin says at all?"
Eugene couldn't disagree with her.
"Maybe he'll have to respond to a little…persuasion," Mason said. She played with the hem of her shorts, clearly reluctant.
"After what those assholes did to our people?" Daryl huffed through his nose like a bull. "Fucker's lucky I ain't strung him up by his balls yet."
"So…how do we do it?" Glenn asked. He looked faintly sick, but as he hadn't voiced any opposition, Eugene figured he acknowledged this as the sensible option.
"I—" Mason's voice choked a little and she had to pause to clear it. "I have a little experience with this kind of stuff. I'll do it."
But Daryl waved her off and growled, "Nah. You ain't doin' it. I'll do it."
Rick nodded. "You and I will discuss how to go about it. Until then, there will always be an armed guard outside his room, and no one will be in that room with him alone."
When the meeting was dismissed, Mason lingered, nudging Daryl with her elbow.
"I can do it, really."
"Got nothin' to do with whether you can or can't." Daryl shook his head. "Ain't no reason you should be the only one carryin' that shit."
Something passed between them Eugene couldn't read. Mason's eyes softened.
"Thank you."
"No problem. Now go on."
Eugene and Mason walked together through the dark community, but paused awkwardly outside of Beth's house.
"I suppose, uh, I'll see you in the morning," Eugene said.
"Oh." Mason looked startled. "Oh, I guess…I guess you'll probably want to sleep in your own bed tonight." She rubbed the back of her neck. "Sorry about last night, by the way."
Actually, it was the best sleep he'd had since the night they'd taken shelter in that car, but he was too nervous to say so.
"There is no need to apologize for that, ma'am, but, yes, it would probably be…proper." Proper? He soldiered on, face burning. "Unless you need me."
"No. I mean, yes! I—I do need you. I don't mean that in a weird way. Just, like, in a…you…make me happy…kind of way? Look, all I'm trying to say is, you don't have to sleep with me." Her eyes went wide. "I don't mean that in a weird way!"
Warmth rushed from his head to his toes and back again, leaving him a little dizzy. But in an attempt to spare her, he managed to say, "Well, I am pleased to be of service, and by all accounts you…instill in me…the same. By that I mean… Feelings."
Bail. Out. Before you say something even more frighteningly inept.
"Well, good night, Miss Reynolds, I look forward to seeing you in the daylight hours."
Bravo.
He turned robotically on his heel and all but power-walked away.
It took him a while to fall asleep. He thought once he collapsed into bed, he'd be gone, but the room felt too quiet, too big. He wished Mason was there, that Daryl and Beth were. He hated sleeping alone but it had never felt more distinct.
When he finally drifted off, he found himself back in the truck that had nearly carried him all the way to D.C. from Houston. From the scenery passing by, he thought they must be somewhere in Georgia.
And then the truck pulled to a stop, and he recognized where they were, when they were. It was the moment they'd found Tara and Glenn at the side of the road and picked them up.
Abraham whistled. "She looks mad enough to kick a lion in the liver."
Tara faced the truck and shouted, "Hope you enjoyed the show, assholes!"
"And she's got the balls to follow through on that. C'mon. It's the NFL draft pick."
Just like before, Abraham and Rosita climbed out of the truck and Eugene followed. But unlike before, someone else hopped out of the back and strolled forward to stand with them.
Her hair was short and messy, just barely grazing her ears, but it was her all the same.
Mason.
"You got a damn mouth on you, you know that?" Abraham said.
With a lazy grin, Mason stepped protectively in front of Eugene, aimed her gun at Tara, and said, "What else you got?"
~m~
Beth looked up from feeding Gracie as Mason walked in. She raised an eyebrow at her appearance.
"You look like you just ate a Skittle off the ground but it turned out to be an earrin'."
Mason pulled up short. "Did that happen to you?"
"No, but my brother Shawn could be real dumb sometimes. You feelin' alright?"
"Oh, yeah, sure, just at it again, humiliating myself…" she muttered.
Beth giggled. "Oh. I'm sorry. You wanna talk about it?"
Something crept into Mason's expression that Beth couldn't decipher. "Not really. Maggie and Glenn still out?"
"Glenn is. Maggie's just takin' a shower. This one's decided it would be fun to start reverse cyclin'."
"Ah. Yeah, Ava really kept me on my toes with that shit."
"I bet that was a lot harder to deal with out on the road."
Mason shrugged. "Everything's harder out on the road."
"Guess that's true. Hey, you wanna hold her? I don't think you've gotten the chance yet."
"Uh, I'm…that's okay. I'm not super good with babies…"
Beth threw her a withering look. "Seriously?"
"Ava's different. She's family."
"Well, you're our family now, too. Stop bein' such a scaredy-cat."
With a blink, Mason approached hesitantly and took her in her arms. Gracie fussed a little when the bottle disappeared, but once Mason started feeding her, she settled.
After a while, Mason smiled softly. "I remember when Ava was teething. She had this obsession with my hair. Any chance she'd get, she'd try and eat it."
Beth laughed. "So that's why you chopped it short."
"I didn't have to. She got me when I wasn't looking and that was just the aftermath."
They shared a gentle glance. The past they shared was starting not to feel so painful, Beth realized. She was starting to look back on the good parts with happiness again. She was extremely glad for that.
A third voice made them both jump. "We named her after Bethy, you know."
They looked up as Maggie walked over, smirking and rubbing a towel through her hair.
"Really?" Mason glanced at her. "You never told me that."
"It's my middle name. Grace."
"That's pretty cool. I'm named after stoneworkers."
Maggie rolled her eyes, but Beth thought there was less animosity in the gesture than usual.
"Do you have any names picked out for this next one?"
"Amelia or Hershel, we're thinkin'. Amelia was Glenn's sister's name. Hershel was our dad's name."
Beth smiled sadly. Her daddy would've made a big show about how they shouldn't name the baby after him, but he would've been so incredibly proud, too.
"Those are really nice names," Mason said. Gracie squirmed, clenching her chubby fingers in Maggie's direction.
"Here. I'll take her." Maggie scooped her out of Mason's arms. "You two oughta get to bed. We've got some long days ahead of us."
But Beth wasn't sure she'd be able to sleep knowing that at any moment, Denise might send for her, or the Wolves might attack again, or any number of crappy events could go down.
"I think I'm gonna sit out on the roof a bit," she said.
"You're not gonna sleep?" Mason asked around a mouthful of toothpaste.
"I will, in a bit."
Mason spat, rinsed and said, "Um. Do you…want some company?"
The offer was so unexpected, Beth couldn't help breaking into a sunny grin. Mason smiled back.
"Of course, silly."
They climbed out through Beth's window and sat facing east. The moon had already ducked behind the trees in the west; the stars above looked like dust stirred by its passing.
"Eugene and Daryl and I sit up here a lot. Or we used to, before all this." She paused a moment before continuing. "I think I understand what you meant, about why you and the Misfits sleep the way you do. I mean, I understood before, but after last night, I get it get it."
Mason seemed pleased. "Maybe we can have another slumber party sometime."
It surprised Beth by how ardently she wanted that.
Minutes passed as they watched the stars wink, and then Mason sighed.
"Look, I know I'm not technically supposed to talk about the council meetings until they're ready to share it with the rest of you," she began. "And I already know what you're going to say anyway. But I'm really kind of getting shit tired of secrets and I trust you, so I just wanted you to know that it's possible the Wolves attacked yesterday because they wanted to capture me, and part of me wonders if things would be easier for the rest of you if I just gave myself to them."
Beth stared in shock. It took her a moment to absorb all of this, long enough that Mason glanced up nervously, tapping her feet.
"They all said no," she went on. "And I know I should wait to see if the plan we have now works, because I have people back home who depend on me, too, but…"
"How do you know they wanted to capture you?"
So Mason launched into her story, explaining what the Wolves had said during their confrontation, and her time spent with the snake cult in Arkansas.
"Wait, but…if they wanted you all along, why did they attack us first?"
"That's exactly what Michonne said. And I honestly don't have an answer for it. I just know they were given orders to take me alive."
Cold seeped through Beth's veins. If these sadistic monsters got a hold of Mason, what would they do with her? To her?
Her hands balled into fists. It wasn't going to happen. She wouldn't let it.
"Well…no matter what, you know you can't give yourself to them, right?"
Mason moved her head silently, but it wasn't exactly a nod.
"You can't. You said yourself, you've got people to look out for in the Kingdom. Besides, we would never let you. I meant what I said before. You're family now. We protect our family."
Something like anguish twisted Mason's expression. Impulsively, Beth wrapped her arms around Mason, tucking her face into the crook of her neck.
"Please. I know. You're tryin' to save the whole damn world, but I can't stand it if you leave again."
Mason didn't respond at first and Beth was afraid to look at her face. But slowly, muscle by muscle, she relaxed. She wrapped an arm around Beth's waist, pulling her closer. Her left hand sought Beth's and squeezed tight.
"I'm not trying to save the whole world," Mason said. "Just the best things in it."
"Well, you're one of those things, okay? So that means you have to protect yourself, too."
Beth finally looked up. Her hair caught in Mason's, they were so close. She could count the stars reflected in Mason's eyes.
Her heart thundered.
"I want you to stay this time, Mason. Please."
She whispered the words just inches from Mason's mouth. She felt Mason's breath on her lips and a deep flame shivered down her spine.
"Beth." Mason pressed her forehead to Beth's and closed her eyes.
Then she sighed and kissed her cheek.
"I'm not going anywhere."
Disappointment washed through her, but she understood. Mason still wasn't ready, and that was okay. She'd just gotten a little carried away.
"I'm sorry, Beth."
"Don't be."
Mason squirmed a little, like she meant to disentangle herself. "Should I…do you want me to leave?"
"No."
They squeezed each other tighter till the embarrassment melted away. It was only when her eyelids began to droop that Beth suggested they head inside. They climbed back through the window, but Beth paused by her bed.
"Look, I know you don't want…um." She couldn't bring herself to say it; she just kept thinking of their time on the bus, that first kiss, the first time they tried to… She shook her head. "But that doesn't mean no cuddlin', right? I mean, we did last night, after all. We…we could have another slumber party right now, just the two of us."
Her face burned. The words made her feel silly. What were they, twelve?
But Mason smiled, clearly relieved, and said, "I'd like that."
Beth scooted over so Mason could join her on the bed. Mason wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close, and Beth snuggled against her chest, smiling when Mason rested her chin on her head. She was so warm.
The rhythm of her heartbeat lulled Beth to sleep.
A/N: Alright, so there were some shameless Vine references, and I probably should apologize for those, but... Honestly I've just been rewatching them so much recently to try and block out the world for a bit, so I had to add them. Anyway, I wanted to post this yesterday because it was Bisexual Awareness Day and so many of my characters are bisexual disasters (some of whom have not been revealed yet...), I just thought it was fitting lol Anyway, thank you so much for reading. Until next time, much love xoxo