Glitter and Gold

Chapter 25

34 ABY - D'Qar

Vex Valorum didn't regret kissing Poe Dameron. She didn't regret trusting him, or even inviting him to her bed. But now, as she lay in his arms, feeling every soft exhale ruffle her hair as he slept, she couldn't help but wonder if she'd been foolish. Had she ruined everything by doing this? Had she ruined their friendship?

Or had they really ever been friends? Had they just been building towards this? With Sin and Kylo both, they'd been friends first. Of sorts, anyway. Vex had never felt that type of kinship for Poe, or anything close to what she felt for Rose, Paige and Jessika. Maybe this is what they'd been meant for.

Vex wouldn't deny she wanted that with Poe. She didn't want to be his friend. She wanted more, whatever that was. But – what did Poe want? He still knew so little about her. He still didn't know who Anakin's father was. Who Vex had once loved. If that didn't make him turn from her, she didn't know what would. Perhaps it would be the admission of the three babies she'd almost had with Kylo before Anakin.

As much as Poe knew that Vex had a checkered past, he didn't know how checkered it truly was. Poe was the fourth man she'd been with. And with her swift look into his mind not so long ago, she knew Poe was no stranger to lovers.

"I can hear you thinking," Poe huffed against her neck, startling her. His arms lay relaxed around her, even as his hips shifted to fit perfectly against her backside. Vex rolled her eyes. "So why don't you just tell me what's got you lying awake right now?" he suggested.

Vex exhaled, unable to stop herself from rolling her eyes again. She glanced back towards him, only for him to dart forward and steal a kiss. She melted against him then, allowing him to pull her closer into the circle of his arms. "I just…don't know what this will do to our friendship," Vex admitted, eyes falling shut as he nuzzled her nose gently.

Poe sighed, pulling back to look at her. Vex's eyes opened reluctantly. "Were we ever really friends, Vex?" he posed, mirroring her exact thoughts. She shrugged lightly. "There was always something between us, Vex, from the beginning. It wasn't friendship," he explained.

"Then what was it?" she questioned.

He sighed again. "Sometimes I forget how young you are," Poe said, nipping at the tip of her nose gently. Vex leaned away, irritation beginning to show on her features. "I had a gut feeling about you from the beginning, Vex. Something that told me you were different. At first, with who you were, I assumed I couldn't trust you," he confided.

"And that changed," Vex assumed, examining him carefully.

Poe gave a hurried nod. "When I started getting to know you, I knew it wasn't that. That mission – Fimery, that was it for me. I knew then,"

"Knew what?" she questioned.

"That you were different. In the best way," Poe answered, a hand gently tracing down her arm. "My gut wasn't trying to warn me against you. It was trying to tell me to go to you,"

"It was the Force," Vex murmured. Poe quirked an eyebrow, a wordless question. "Your gut instinct, Poe. It's the Force that guides us all. The Force was trying to bring us together," she explained.

"Whatever it was, I got the message," Poe said, fingers tangling into her hair.

"So you want this? Whatever it is," she questioned, hand resting against his chest.

"Yeah," he said softly. "I want it," he dipped down, pressing his lips to hers. Poe kissed her like a man dying of thirst, as if whatever he needed to live lay within her.

Vex pushed lightly at his shoulder, making him pause. "Then you need to know the truth," she said against his lips.

Poe drew back at once, brows drawn low with confusion, hurt. "Anakin's father," she began, sighing. Poe's expression cleared, dawning with understanding. He reached out, covering her hand with his.

"Who was he?" he asked softly.

Vex drew in a deep breath. "…Kylo Ren," she admitted. Poe reeled back as if he'd been struck.

"Kylo Ren!?"

Vex sighed. "Poe, you have to remember how things were different then. All I had was the dark side – and like it or not, Kylo Ren was just like me." she said.

"What do you mean?" Poe questioned.

"I mean that Kylo Ren didn't want any of this, either. Snoke began torturing him from within his mind, turning him to the dark side, when he was only a child. Younger than I was when Snoke took me," Vex explained.

"We hated each other in the beginning, when he first came to Snoke. But eventually, we became friends. He came to understand what I already knew. That we were nothing to Snoke, only tools,"

"How did you get together? Have Anakin," Poe asked, finally settling back beside her.

"It was Snoke's decree. He decided that he'd need an heir, and that there could be no better than the child of two Jedi," Vex said quietly.

Poe looked at her sharply. "He made you?"

Vex nodded. "Both of us. He made both of us do it," she clarified. She heaved a sigh. "It began when I was twenty. It took us a few weeks, maybe a month to conceive," she began.

"That was four years ago, Vex – Anakin's only just over a year old now," Poe cut in.

"I know," she said, looking somewhat miffed at his interruption. "Poe, Anakin was the fourth baby we conceived," Vex confessed. Poe turned a bewildered look to her, features beginning to contort in horror. With that look aimed at her, everything spilled out. The whole story. How Snoke had killed three babies before Anakin. How Kylo had helped her escape. How their fragile, unstable love had burned out with all the loss and pain.

"Vex… I don't know what else there is to say… I'm sorry," Poe murmured, nuzzling his nose against her hair as if to offer comfort in the only way he knew how. She exhaled lowly, reaching out to trace her fingers along his square jaw.

"There's one last thing you must know, Poe," Vex said. Poe leaned away so that his eyes could meet hers.

"What is it?" he questioned guardedly.

"Do you know who Kylo Ren really is?" she asked. His brows drew low in confusion. "Who he was, before?"

Poe shook his head.

"His name was Ben Solo," Vex began, watching as Poe's features contorted in shock. "-the son of Han and Leia," she said softly, eyes watching him carefully.

"Then Anakin…" Poe said, eyes wide.

Vex nodded. "...is Leia's grandson, yes," she confirmed. Poe leaned back against the bed, expression blank. He was beyond shock or surprise, now. He wondered if he could ever feel surprise again.

He exhaled deeply. "Now that I think about it… that makes a lot of sense," Poe admitted, arm snaking back around Vex, coaxing her closer. She didn't need much convincing, resting her cheek against his chest, fingers stroking up and down the patch of dark hair that grew there. "I always wondered why Leia was so interested in him, why she'd gotten so involved, so quickly," he mused.

"Luke's gone, Han's gone, and so is Ben. Leia's been without her family for a long time. When I brought Anakin here, I think I gave her hope. Hope that her family could come back together," Vex pondered, letting her eyes flutter shut as Poe's thumb made soothing circles on her lower back.

"You've given us all hope," Poe whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

Every time he'd thought Vex had been through too much, he found out more. More misery, more pain. Poe was sure he had barely brushed the surface. The thought of what Vex had been put through infuriated and saddened him at the same time, but it only solidified his resolve.

Resolve to be with Vex, to love and protect her. She needed someone steady, good and kind. Poe was sure that was him. He would shield her from any more harm, help her heal if he could. And Anakin? He'd care for him, too. Protect them with his life, make them his family.

If Kylo Ren wasn't going to protect Vex and Anakin, Poe would do it himself.

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Thanks to my two reviewers last chapter - guest and Mstngsali1!

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Much love, Suz Singer.