Notes:
- There's also a Spanish version available. Please look for it as "Su sutil generosidad" + miauneko.
- Also, please keep in mind that English is not my first language and it makes me sad that I'm unable to make Billy sound like a proper English person.
- This version has been slightly censored for FFnet. If you would like to read the full version, look for it on Archive of our Own as "His Subtle Thoughtfulness" + miauneko
Billy had not been there when a crucial chapter of his life was brought to an abrupt end. The night when it happened, he had been roaming the streets around Geese Tower, overcome with unease and bitterness, counting the hours until the sanction imposed on him by Geese-sama was over.
They had argued some days ago. For the first time in years, he had been in the receiving end of Geese's cold yet fierce anger.
Billy had managed to hold his ground, however, suppressing the fear his boss instilled in him long enough to look him straight in the eye and unceremoniously explain that letting Terry Bogard into the skyscraper was an irrational move on Geese's part.
And by doing so, Billy had made everything worse.
It was known that the Bogard siblings wanted to kill Geese Howard as revenge for the death of their adoptive father more than a decade ago in the hands of that man. Under normal circumstances, Geese would have never opened the doors of his skyscraper to people who wanted to attempt against his life.
'You don't seem to realize that your obsession with defeating Terry is making you behave in ways most unbecoming of you, Geese-sama,' Billy had said.
Turning his concern into stern disapproval had required excruciating effort on his part, but he needed to convince Geese to change his mind and backtrack on his plans. 'Being this careless doesn't suit you,' he had declared.
Billy knew he was stepping over a very fine line. He was being impertinent, but he was the only one who could say that kind of thing to Geese. The only one who took the risk of going against Geese's commands, in order to protect him.
Geese's countenance turned cold and stony, and his anger burned in a quiet rage that shook Billy's conviction.
'Don't come back until the tournament is over,' Geese had said in a soft yet threatening voice. 'Get out of my sight.'
Billy had wanted to object, insist, but Geese turned his back toward him and let his gaze wander over the scenery outside the thick windows of his office.
Not knowing what else to do, Billy had started toward the door, but Geese spoke again without looking at him: 'Do you think you can interfere with my private affairs? A person like you should know his place, Billy.'
Those were the last words Geese said to him before his death.
It was because of that argument and the subsequent punishment that Billy had not been with his boss the fateful night of Geese's fight against Terry Bogard.
Billy had been walking aimlessly around the skyscraper, overwhelmed by frustration and distress. He was still obeying Geese's commands like a good servant, because, apparently, that was the only thing he was good at.
At some point, he raised his eyes toward the magnificent building and saw Geese's intense bluish energy lighting up the darkened night sky. It was followed by a golden flash, not unlike an explosion. There was no sound, but Billy knew what was happening. Instinctively, he ran toward the building, cursing through gritted teeth for not having disobeyed, for not being there to protect Geese-sama.
The memories of what happened next haunted him for years. He had reached the skyscraper's rooftop, where Geese kept a terrace heavily decorated with Asian ornaments. He saw at once that the red wooden handrails were broken and splintered; smashed by a body that had collided violently against them. He heard Terry Bogard explain in an exhausted voice that he had tried to save Geese from falling, and that Geese had preferred to plunge into the abyss rather than accept his defeat and the help of an enemy.
The last thing Billy remembered was Bogard having the gall to tell him: 'Don't take it too hard... He wasn't worth it, Billy. Try to get a better life for yourself now that you're free from him.'
Several days later, Billy awoke in one of the clandestine hospitals of Howard Connection, with one arm in a cast, some broken ribs and a serious wound on his head.
The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was the anguished face of his sister Lilly, but the first thing that came out of his lips was Geese-sama's name.
The staff informed him that he had fought Terry, but Billy couldn't remember the fight or how he reached the hospital. The medics also explained that Billy had been unconscious for days, even though his life was not at risk. Billy was distraught to realize that he would rather have spent some more days unconscious than having to face reality.
Billy was unable to attend the funeral service because it had been held some days before he woke up. He listened to Ripper and Hopper's reports in a daze, wishing that everything was nothing but a bad dream.
He returned home with Lilly not long after.
But gathering the courage to visit the cemetery took him several more days.
Geese-sama had been buried in a private cemetery of undulating and shockingly green fields that covered several hectares. The similarity of that place with the cemetery where Billy's parents were buried in London didn't go unnoticed to him.
The black granite headstone was located under the shade of a giant elm, the only one of its kind in the entire property. The magnificent tree seemed appropriate for Geese, but such pompous detail, which would have made Billy smile under different circumstances, just cause him a dull pain in his chest instead.
Billy stopped and looked down at the yellowish patch of grass that still marked the area that had been excavated to lower the casket into the earth. He raised his eyes slowly until he read the name 'Geese Howard' engraved in the dark stone. The dates of birth and death became a blur when the tears welled up in his eyes. Geese-sama had died at forty one years of age, and Billy had been by his side during the last twelve years of his life.
The pain in his chest became unbearable and threatened to turn into a scream. Billy clenched his teeth, knowing that he had to leave before the emotions overwhelmed him. He bowed to excuse himself, and, without a word, he left the cemetery.
Weeks went by and South Town continued to exist, without Geese. During some chaotic days, the city's gangs warred over control of the city. Billy didn't even get the consolation of returning to the office he had shared for so many hours with his boss. The skyscraper had been raided and seized by the authorities, and the same had happened to all the properties related to Howard Connection.
The staff had been interrogated and even Geese's 'trusted' personnel had disregarded their commitments and disclosed confidential information, simply because Geese wasn't there anymore.
From the tiny house Billy shared with Lilly, he observed how the empire carefully built by Geese throughout the years started to crumble.
He wanted to do something to protect his master's city, but he didn't know what, or how, especially without the support of Howard Connection's infrastructure. Geese had left no instructions on how to proceed after his death. Billy was sure that his boss had never thought about the possibility of dying so soon, and this made him even sadder.
And there was another thought continuously circling his mind, one he could not share with anyone.
Billy knew that Geese would have been able to survive the fall if he had wanted to. He had survived once, using his powerful ki to lessen the impact a few seconds before hitting the ground. Geese had been injured, and he had needed months to recover, but he had never been in mortal danger. Billy had stayed by his side during the recovery period, and more than once Geese had regarded his concerned expression and said mockingly: 'do you think a mere fall can kill me?' with a laugh.
That time, Billy had not taken him seriously, but the possibility of his boss knowing how to survive that kind of fall had set him slightly at ease.
However, the second time, Geese had died; he had preferred to put an end to his existence, rather than accepting his enemy's help, because nothing mattered more to Geese than his own convictions.
Nothing. Not even an empire, a fortune of millions, or a person who had been with him for over twelve years.
What were the last words Geese had said to him?
'A person like you should know his place...'
"But I'm the person you chose as your right-hand man, Geese-sama..."
Startled, Billy realized that he had said the words aloud. A bitter smile curved his lips while he shook his head.
That morning, he was at the cemetery again. He had returned after months to say goodbye to Geese, because Lilly and him would fly back to England that night.
Without Geese, and with the city in the hands of other people, there was no reason for them to remain in South Town.
Billy had cleaned the granite gravestone and lighted three incense sticks that he put in a Japanese censer. His boss used to like that kind of customs, and Billy had tried to please him by adopting them himself, even though he wasn't always sure if he was doing the rituals right.
Regretfully, Geese-sama wasn't there anymore to tell him if the amount of incense was appropriate, or to teach him how to pay respects to a deceased person.
Feeling a wave of sorrow washing over him, Billy knelt and touched the gravestone with his fingertips, tracing each of the letters of his boss's name.
Time was going by, but the emptiness caused by Geese's absence remained unchanged.
In silence, Billy apologized for leaving the city and thanked Geese for everything he had done for Lilly and him. During the years under Geese's service, Billy had saved enough money to start over in England with his sister. They had decided to avoid London and the main cities to reduce the probability of being tracked by someone who might want to settle a score with Billy. They had found a small house in a town called Tidworth that was spacious enough for the two of them, and which Billy was sure would become a cozy place in Lilly's hands.
With a timid smile, Billy commented that the backyard would provide ample room for hanging clothes to dry, and then he wondered if he had ever spoken about his laundry hobby with Geese-sama.
There wasn't much to add, and Billy closed his eyes and tried to feel any trace of the presence of his boss there.
He had never learned to control his own ki, but Geese's was so powerful that even Billy was able to see it, without making an effort on his part.
However, Billy didn't perceive anything in the cemetery.
"Strange," Billy whispered, opening his eyes. "When I'm in the city, I can feel the echoes of your life..." He caressed the black granite where it met the ground. "But I can't feel you here, sir," he added, placing his open hand over the grass.
When he stood up, Billy took some seconds to gaze into the distance. Some buildings were visible above the treetops.
Maybe his words carried some truth. Geese-sama's presence was intertwined with the very fabric of the city, beyond the boundaries of a cemetery. And despite the years that would pass, the way Geese had shaped South Town according to his desires would not change.
"Is this what you meant when you talked about immortality, Geese-sama?" Billy asked, and he waited for an answer he knew would not come.
—Billy… Billy! Did you hear me? Three pints for table four.
Billy snapped back to reality. He grabbed three thick glasses from the shelf behind the counter, filled them with gold-colored beer and the right amount of frothy foam, and he slid the glasses towards the girl who was working with him that night.
The girl smiled tiredly at him in what could only mean 'hang in there, it's almost closing time' and she wasn't upset at Billy's distracted demeanor. He had been working at the pub for a while now, and he was a very efficient employee. It was just that, sometimes, he seemed to disconnect from the world and he spent several minutes staring off into space.
The pub was full that night, and the noisy atmosphere was dense with the warmth and laughter of several men and women chatting happily around the tables. The window frames and countertop were decorated with green garlands and blinking multi-colored lights in tune with the Christmas season. The mood was more cheerful than usual because the clients had decided that liquor was the best way to spend their year-end bonuses.
Billy had been working at the pub for several months. The place was located in a quiet neighborhood of the town of Tidworth, and his duties were not very clear. He had been hired as a doorman, but didn't have much to do. His main responsibility was to gently push drunkards in the general direction of the main street when it was time to close for the night.
As there weren't any fights ever, Billy had started to help with menial tasks, like doing the dishes or washing the glasses when the place was packed. His coworkers had soon found out that he had extensive knowledge of alcoholic drinks, especially expensive hard liquors, and they had allowed him to help at the bar.
During the day, when the pub was closed, Billy sometimes dropped by and took upon himself to wash the towels and tablecloths.
The pub's employees had been perplexed to discover that the young man with the unapproachable and dangerous aura who wore frayed jeans and leather jackets was actually a very dedicated employee who didn't cause any trouble.
No one knew much about Billy's life before his arrival to Tidworth. He had appeared one day in the town together with his younger sister, and they moved into an old empty house near the river. Both had looked for a job and they kept to themselves. They seemed to lead a very quiet life.
"You can go home, I'll take care of the rest," Billy told his colleague one hour later.
The clients were gone and the pub was empty. The girl, who was about to start cleaning tables with a damp cloth, looked at him gratefully and nodded.
When he was alone, Billy disconnected all the Christmas lights. It was hard for him to enjoy that season of the year, because Christmas was to be spent with family, and it reminded him of all those he had lost and who weren't there to celebrate with him anymore.
His parents when he was still a child, and then Geese-sama...
Billy scrubbed the surface of one table more roughly than necessary.
Despite the years since Geese's passing, Billy's thoughts kept returning to his former boss. He wondered what Geese would say about the fake smile he put on every December, when his sister Lilly greeted him for Christmas and also for his birthday, which was on the same day.
He wasn't sure if Geese would have made a disdainful comment or if he would have made fun of him. Maybe he would have been amused if he saw that Billy finally had learned to pretend in a convincing manner.
Billy realized that he didn't know how Geese would have reacted. His boss had always been complicated, and his reactions unpredictable.
Once more, Billy focused on the job to stop thinking. He cleaned tables and aligned the stools. He took the empty bottles to the recycle bin and, when he was done, he stepped outside through the back door for a smoke in the narrow alley where they put all the trash.
Sitting on stacked empty beer boxes, Billy lit a cigarette and leaned against the old brick wall. He was fully aware that smoking was a nasty habit, but he couldn't stop. The pointless ritual that preceded each cigarette—shaking the box, the soft and unnecessary tap to level the tobacco, letting the cigarette hang from his lips and noticing the warmth of the lighter's flame near his face—made him feel closer to his former boss, who had made those same gestures hundreds of times in front of him. The swirling gray smoke rose in the air the same way it had rose back then in South Town; it took him back, and brought memories of dozens of conversations held in an atmosphere fragrant with liquor and tobacco.
Billy inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. There was nothing enjoyable in the way the smoke slid towards his lungs, leaving in its wake a coarse dryness in his throat. Once more, Billy wondered what kind of pleasure Geese-sama drew from those cigarettes, or the Japanese kiseru pipes, or the imported cigars.
The night around him was chilly and quiet, like most nights in Tidworth. In the distance, Billy could hear the rumor of the river, and the echo of a conversation in one of the neighboring buildings.
Life in that city was completely different from the life Billy had led in South Town, and he appreciated that. Tidworth took pride in having one of the lowest crime rates in the area, and it was a perfect place to ensure Lilly's safety. A good portion of the money Billy had earned while working for Geese had been used to buy the house, but they still had savings. They could afford to live free of worries for some years.
Out of habit, Billy touched the folded three-section staff he carried under his clothes, hidden behind his back. In all that time, he had not used it once. No enemy of Howard Connection had tracked him to that tiny town.
But maybe that was about to change...?
He draw on the cigarette again, and he looked up at the night sky.
One week ago, he had left home one night, and something had told him that he was being watched. When he looked around, he saw an elegant black vehicle turn a corner and disappear. He wasn't quick enough to catch a glimpse of the passengers or the license plate, but he recognized the car's make. It was a Bentley. It wasn't the most expensive model, but seeing it in that part of town made him suspicious.
The feeling of being watched continued for a couple of days. The vehicle did not appear again.
A part of Billy knew that the hyperawareness was probably due to all the memories stirred by the car's make. But his instinct kept warning him that someone was observing him, and that he should be on his guard.
Maybe the past had caught up to him and his peaceful life was over.
Billy threw the cigarette butt on the floor and stepped on it. When he stood up, he saw something out of the corner of his eye, a slight movement near the sidewalk, at the end of the alley, behind the wall of the pub. He was certain now. Someone had skillfully moved out of the way to avoid being seen.
Frowning, Billy walked up to the street and looked left and right. No one was there.
He returned to the pub, turned off all the lights and, without lowering his guard, he left through the main door and locked it.
Intentionally, he chose a badly lit path that he knew well. If someone attempted to follow him, his plan was to lure and ambush them, and then try to find out what was going on. He had to put an end to the threat before an enemy was able to reach Lilly.
Billy walked in long, quick strides. He didn't hear any noise coming from behind him, but he knew that he wasn't alone. Someone was following him, and that person knew how to mask their presence.
After covering a few more meters, Billy turned sharply, away from the sidewalk, and hid behind some dry bushes in a vacant lot. There were several places that could be used as hiding spots, and his pursuer would have to check all of them if he wanted to find him.
Billy waited, holding his sansetsukon tightly in one hand, using the warmth of his own breath to keep his fingers from becoming numb with cold.
Through the bush's dry branches and leaves, he saw a silhouette stop at the property's boundary. It was a man, his face cloaked in shadows, backlit by the intense light of the street lamp.
The man scrutinized the vacant lot and the half-dead bushes scattered around the property. He probably realized that it was a rudimentary trap and, instead of going forward to search for Billy, he simply turned around and left. Billy soon lost sight of him.
If you want to play, I'll be happy to oblige, Billy thought, annoyed. He waited a few seconds before leaving his hideout and quickly hurried toward the street. He wasn't going to let that stranger get away.
However, unexpectedly, the same backlit silhouette blocked his way. Furious with himself, Billy realized that he had been the one to fall into a trap. The man had pretended to leave, but he had remained there, barely out of sight, waiting for him to make a move.
You leave me no choice..., Billy thought, smiling inwardly, enjoying the rush of adrenaline that always preceded a fight and that he had not felt in years.
He had considered handling the matter in a reasonable manner, but this just went to show that he should have resorted to violence right from the start.
It was one of the first lessons Geese-sama had taught him: to use violence to quickly take control over a situation.
The stranger started to move, but Billy had the sansetsukon at the ready and he lunged forward, pushing the man backwards and trapping him against the property's wall, immobilizing him by pressing the sturdy red wooden staff firmly against his throat.
Billy pressed harder, undecided about whether to obtain answers or simply crush the man's throat.
In that brief moment of doubt, the stranger leaned his head back, exposing his neck even further. But this wasn't a sign of submission; the man was smiling strangely, as if the entire situation were amusing to him.
Billy steeled himself and pushed harder, but then his mind took in details that he hadn't noticed until then. The man was taller than him, of more robust complexion. A violent shove would have allowed the man to free himself, but he preferred to remain still instead.
The amused smile on his lips was familiar and, raising his gaze, Billy saw the man's cold light blue eyes fixed on him, mocking him and pleased at him at the same time.
The rest of the details were lost in a sea of confusion—the carefully slicked-back blond hair, the deep, disdainful laugh...
Billy felt his body weaken.
"Geese-sama," he muttered.
He had never embraced his boss the way he was embracing him now, and the contact was just as he had imagined: Geese's rigid surprise, the unsettling moment when Billy realized that he was committing a transgression, because Geese made no movement to return the embrace.
But he could not let go. He wanted to stay like that a few seconds longer; feel the warmth of Geese's body, his breathing, his steady heartbeat.
He could face his anger later, it wouldn't matter. He just needed a few more seconds...
He heard his boss's low laugh. The laugh he had missed dearly and which he could only hear in his memories and his dreams.
Billy made a small sound, like a soft whimper, when his boss's hands rested heavily on both sides of his waist, sending a shiver throughout his body. Geese did not return the embrace, but firmly kept him close for a long a time.
"You're out of practice, you lowered your guard."
Billy shivered when Geese spoke right next to his ear. Hearing his voice after so long made him tremble.
One instant later, Geese placed his hands on Billy's shoulders and pushed back slightly, enough to be able to look Billy in the eye.
Billy felt a soft squeeze on his shoulder, similar to when Geese acknowledged him for a job well done. Geese's smile had not faded. The pleased look in his light blue eyes was even more evident.
"How do you know I'm not an impostor?"
"I would never mistake you for an impostor, Geese-sama."
Billy remained quiet, overwhelmed by all that he wanted to say, and the violent emotion that was threatening to drown him. What was it? Happiness? He had never experienced something like that. He didn't know what to call it.
"I expected some degree of disbelief. Yet you seem more than willing to accept that I'm alive."
Billy chuckled bitterly, despite himself. The mocking tone, the implicit cruelty in the disdainful smile of the man who had let him believe for years that he was gone. Everything was there. Every peculiarity that he loathed and loved about that man. And above all, his presence...
"It's easier to accept that you're alive, than to accept that you died," Billy replied with honest simplicity.
"Is that so?"
Billy nodded and then kept silent.
"You might say so, but you accepted my death," Geese pointed out, still using a derisive tone.
"I did..." Billy muttered.
The pain in his voice caused Geese to stare at Billy fixedly before raising a hand toward the younger man's face.
Billy was startled by the brief contact against his cheek, and then he was mortified, because he saw that Geese's fingers were moist.
"The years have softened you, Billy Kane," Geese commented, the smile still playing on his lips.
Ashamed, Billy hurriedly wiped his face with the sleeve of his jacket.
"It won't happen again," he assured.
"I certainly hope so."
"Just don't—" Billy's words were unintelligible.
Geese tilted his head slightly.
"What did you say?" he demanded.
Billy hesitated, but then he answered, his voice low: "Don't fall from a building again, please."
Geese looked at him for a moment and then laughed, as if amused by the reply.
Billy chuckled too, weakly and without humor. He suddenly felt tired, but he didn't resent Geese-sama for not contacting him and telling him that he had been alive all those years. Geese-sama was there, with him, even if he was mocking him and making light of his pain.
"Have a drink yourself."
They were back at the pub and Billy had served a glass of the most expensive cognac for Geese, who had taken a seat at one of the tables by the window.
Billy was still stunned; the night was unreal.
He was in a pub in England, with Geese-sama...
However, when the initial surprise faded, Billy realized that not everything was good news.
Geese was there, with him again, yes, but he wasn't alone.
While they walked to the pub, Billy had seen the dark shape of a Bentley parked in a narrow street. There was a man dressed as a butler waiting next to the driver's door. Geese had made a gesture with his hand, and the man had nodded; they didn't need to exchange words.
That man was probably a new employee in Geese's inner circle... Maybe someone who had served Geese all those years?
Someone who had known Geese was alive, while Billy was kept in the dark.
"Pour yourself a glass."
"I'd rather not, Geese-sam..."
"Do as you're told."
Billy enjoyed the anger that his former boss's words sparked in him. After all those years, he almost felt pleasure when he repressed the insolent answer that sprang to his mind.
He also enjoyed complying with Geese's command, in spite of his anger. He didn't take orders from anyone, but he still liked to obey Geese-sama.
Billy filled a glass to the brim with ice cubes, and poured a ridiculously tiny amount of Scotch on top. He returned to the table and, after a brief hesitation, he sat in front of Geese, who observed his ice-filled glass with open disapproval.
Billy lowered his eyes. Was he going to be reprimanded?
However, Geese didn't say anything and took a sip of the cognac.
"Why are you here, Geese-sama?" Billy asked, slowly raising his eyes to look at Geese.
"Business trip."
Billy bit back his painful disappointment. What was he expecting? It was obvious that an entrepreneur would be taking care of his businesses again.
With effort, Billy forced himself not to think of the reasons why Geese had not called him back to his side.
"How is your health these days?"
"If you noticed my presence, maybe not as good as it should," Geese said ironically.
Billy's gaze rested on Geese's neck for a second. He had not gauged his strength and there was a faint redness caused by the sansetsukon.
However, he did not apologize, because Geese did not seem bothered by it.
"I got the feeling I was being followed these days. Sir, was it you?"
Geese took another sip of cognac and didn't answer. Billy didn't press the matter.
"Did you have a good life, Billy?" Geese asked instead.
Billy looked down at the table, searching for an answer. Life at Tidworth was what he sought for his sister. For himself, the only thing that he wanted was...
What? To abandon Lilly and return to South Town, with Geese?
Billy wasn't sure if he would be able to do that. He couldn't simply leave Lilly, his only family, behind.
He evaded the question, and he felt a stab of pain when he realized that Geese wasn't actually asking him to return.
"We bought a house. I finally fulfilled the promise I made to Lilly when we were kids."
Geese made the cognac swirl at the bottom of the glass.
"It'll be interesting to see what you did with the money."
Billy blinked confusedly. What was Geese talking about?
Billy normally felt proud of having a place he could call home, and of having achieved it by his own means. He didn't need luxuries, and he didn't mind buying second-hand items if it meant saving some money.
However, the presence of Geese Howard inside his humble English house made him feel that everything was tasteless. From the handmade curtains to the staircase's steps, that creaked under a person's weight.
Geese inspected the house in a few seconds, without making any remark, and entered Billy's room as if the place belonged to him.
Billy kept his bedroom tidy and clean, but he wasn't expecting visitors. There were incomplete song scores on the desk, and some magazines lying on the bedside table.
Geese skimmed through one with an indifferent air, but the contents caught his interest and he took the magazine to examine it more thoroughly.
"Geese-sama, wait..."
The magazine had been open in one specific page, and Geese was looking at the article's main picture. The issue had been published almost a decade ago, and featured both of them. The photos showed them in South Town, standing next to the limousine, just talking.
The picture was harmless, but the article took things out of context, insinuating that there was something going on between them, because they were always together and also because, in the picture, which had been taken when they were unaware, showed them smiling candidly at each other.
Back then, when the magazine hit the shelves, and Geese became aware of its contents, he gave an order to take the magazine out of circulation. Most copies had been destroyed, but Lilly had kept one... and Billy had allowed it. And, later, he had sought consolation in the pictures of a time long gone, of a life that he thought was lost forever.
Geese was looking at the pictures, their younger selves. Billy had been twenty one back then, and he had not learned yet that it wasn't convenient to display his feelings so openly when they were in public.
In the picture, it was clear that he was smiling affectionately at Geese, probably because of something his boss had said.
Geese made no comment. He simply left the magazine on the table with an almost inaudible "hm" and he turned to look at Billy.
Billy's uneasiness was evident, but his light blue eyes shone with the same affection captured in the magazine's picture. That was something that had not changed, not even after Billy had thought him dead for so many years.
Geese had known from the start that Billy had feelings for him, but now he had proof that his former employee would never stop loving him.
Billy was standing in the doorway and he didn't move aside when Geese attempted to go to the stairs to return to the ground floor.
Placing a hand on the door's frame, Billy blocked the way.
"There's something we need to discuss," Billy said tensely.
Geese could tell what it was about. There were so many matters to discuss.
However, the timing wasn't right, because it was clear that Billy was hardly in control of his emotions. Geese didn't want to prompt a conversation punctuated by rash decisions or impulsive words.
"Come to my hotel within two nights and we will talk," Geese said, placing a hand on Billy's shoulder.
Billy seemed displeased at the answer, but he didn't object. Timidly, he touched Geese's hand. Then he took one step toward his former boss and the next second he was hugging him again, less desperately, but with the same strength.
"You weren't supposed to miss me this much," Geese reprimanded sarcastically, but this time he returned the embrace with a rigid gesture due to the lack of habit, and Billy abandoned himself into his arms, face hidden against him while muttering his name.
On the agreed date, Billy took a train to London a few minutes before sunset and he spent most of the trip lost in thought, looking through the window at the rapidly passing landscape.
Geese-sama had not changed one bit. He was the man Billy remembered—inconsiderate, disdainful and often cruel. But none of these traits tainted Billy's fascination with him, a fascination that went all the way back to the first time they met. In that chance encounter, Billy had been able to perceive that there was something more beneath the insensitivity and harshness. He had been right from the start. Geese had been fair to him, and had even shown a very particular kind of benevolence...
Two nights ago, when Geese had allowed a second embrace, the hug had ended with a soft sigh of incomprehension and some pats on Billy's hair, as if Geese-sama were comforting him, saying 'it's alright now' without using words.
Billy had felt a bit better after that, but he didn't understand why Geese had postponed the inevitable conversation.
The two days had passed and now he knew the reason. Geese-sama had known that he would need time to collect his thoughts and that he would spend an entire day stressing over the choice he had to make.
During the first day, he had been alternating between the different choices. At one point he told himself that he was going to request to be restituted as Geese's bodyguard, if Geese would have him, and, a few seconds later, he had discarded the idea, angry at himself because he wasn't going to abandon Lilly in England, or force the girl to return to a city as dangerous as South Town.
He wanted to go with Geese, but he couldn't leave Lilly. It was an impossible choice.
The second day, Lilly noticed his unease, and asked him if something was wrong. Billy told her the truth. He explained that Geese was alive and that they had met one night. Lilly's initial surprise was soon replaced by confusion, because she couldn't understand how so many years had passed without them knowing that Geese was okay. However, she was happy at the news; she had always been grateful to Geese for saving them from a life on the streets, and because she knew that Geese had been good to Billy.
Billy feared Lilly's joy would disappear the moment he mentioned that he wanted to return to his old job, but Lilly smiled more broadly instead.
'It's a good idea," she had said.
'South Town is too far way. I don't want you living here alone.'
'But, in a way, if you don't go... Mr. Geese would be the one living alone, don't you think?'
Billy had averted his eyes. He didn't imagine himself capable of doing that either.
Seeing his distress, Lilly had chuckled softly and approached him to take his hand. She waited until Billy looked at her and then she continued: 'Could you be happy here, knowing that Mr. Geese is in South Town?'
That question had a single answer, and Lilly didn't need to hear it to know what it was. She had seen how much Geese Howard's death had affected and changed Billy.
From her point of view, if Geese was back, it meant that Billy had only one way to proceed. And even if she would be saddened by her brother's departure, she knew that Billy wouldn't find happiness, not there, not anywhere, if he wasn't with that man he worshiped so much.
After the conversation, every time Billy was overcome with doubts, it was Lilly who reminded him that it wasn't a matter of making a decision. This was simply the outcome of something that had started when Geese found both of them living on the streets of London several years ago. Geese had given them the means to survive by themselves, and now they were two independent adults. There was no need to be together all the time, because they were family, and that bond would tie them forever, regardless of the distance between them.
Lilly had a chance to emphasize her solid reasoning after Billy realized that the meeting with Geese-sama would be on December 24th, which was Christmas Eve and also the night before his birthday.
Lilly had promised to make a special dinner that night, and had ordered a birthday cake. Cancelling those plans and leaving Lilly alone made Billy feel guilty.
'Don't worry about me, I'll be with my friends,' Lilly said, insisting that it wasn't that much of a deal when Billy started doubting again. 'By the way, you shouldn't let Mr. Geese spend Christmas Eve alone in a foreign city.'
"She grew up so fast," Billy muttered in the train, recalling Lilly's insistence that she was going to be fine, because she was already and adult and she had her own life.
For several minutes, Billy fantasized about working for Geese again.
I don't even know if he wants me back... he thought bitterly a second later.
Maybe he was getting ahead of himself. Geese-sama had someone now, that man dressed as a butler who had accompanied him to Tidworth.
Billy had examined that man from up close when he arrived on the Bentley to pick up Geese from his house. The look in that man's light eyes was the first thing that drew his attention. Behind the delicate silver-framed glasses he wore, the sky blue, almost gray eyes of the man had been full of cold superiority, despite the fact that he was dressed as a manservant, with a black frock coat as uniform, and white gloves on his hands.
The way the man opened the car's door for Geese was appropriate, but the tone he used to address the businessman sparked and immediate distrust in Billy.
That wasn't the proper way to talk to Geese. The butler was courteous, but it was clear that he didn't see himself as a subordinate. It was almost as if he was making Geese-sama a favor by accepting to be under his orders.
And Geese-sama had allowed the butler to talk to him like that, and had not scorned him while he climbed into the car.
How long had that man worked for Geese?
Billy rested his forehead on the train's cold window. Geese-sama had replaced him with a butler? A person with an innate elegance that Billy had never attempted to display.
Annoyed, Billy observed his reflection on the window. During those years, his facial features had become more defined, and no one would mistake him for a boy now. But there wasn't any doubt about the kind of person he was. He was never going to be able to pretend to be an elegant snob.
Geese-sama had never concerned himself with that kind of thing, but... How to explain why he didn't call him to his side, then? Why did he choose to hire a new employee?
Billy had no other option than to ask directly, but he wasn't sure if he was going to like the answer.
The hotel was vaguely familiar, but Billy didn't recognize it until the butler opened the door to the spacious suite where Geese was staying and asked him to wait in the hall.
The same furniture arrangement, the same decoration... The same nighttime scenery visible through the windows... Billy had been there before.
It was the suite where Geese had taken them in, both him and Lilly, years ago, when he found them trying to survive on the streets.
"I'll inform Mr. Howard that you have arrived," the butler said politely.
Billy noticed that the man's cold eyes lingered furtively on his leather jacket and his frayed jeans. He also perceived a faint accent in the man's almost perfect British English.
"Hey," Billy said, sounding more insolent than necessary. "Do you have a name?"
"Hein, sir."
Hein. Then the accent he had noticed was probably German. Geese-sama was still looking for trustable employees of European descent.
Billy didn't sit down. He walked back and forth through the hall, increasingly impatient, telling himself that he didn't have anything against that guy called Hein. He simply didn't like that he was a replacement for him. Especially if that man had taken his place at Geese-sama's side.
Hein reappeared in the hall and he gestured for Billy to come into the suite. The butler's polite bow had a European feel to it.
"Geese-sama is waiting for you."
Billy narrowed his eyes when he heard the Japanese honorific being used, but he made no comment.
Geese was sitting on a Victorian armchair upholstered in burgundy velvet near the window, his gaze turned toward the city landscape. There was an empty armchair in front of him, which Hein pointed at with a courteous gesture.
Billy walked toward Geese and bowed deeply, keeping his arms and back straight, like usually done in the East.
"Geese-sama," he said.
Geese turned to look at him for a moment, but then Billy was frustrated to see that his former boss almost didn't pay attention to him. Geese was looking at the butler instead.
"Pour us some drinks."
"Right away."
Billy felt disoriented. In the past, it had been one of his duties to serve liquor or prepare coffee or other menial tasks that he enjoyed immensely.
"Allow me, Geese-sama," Billy said, incapable of controlling his impulsiveness, already looking for the liquor cabinet with his eyes.
"No, Hein will see to it," Geese said hoarsely. "Sit."
Billy clenched his fists and obeyed. He expected a jeering glance from the butler, but Hein didn't seem to have noticed the exchange. He had walked toward the cabinet and was making sure that the glasses were clean.
Uncomfortable, Billy sat perched on the edge of the armchair. He looked around while they waited for their drinks.
He was surprised to see an oversized, heavily decorated Christmas tree in the next room.
"What's the matter?"
"I wasn't expecting to see something like that in your room..." Billy explained, pointing at the tree.
"It's an ornament that can be ignored. Requesting its removal would cause too many inconveniences."
"Well, you didn't use to mind when the employees decorated the skyscraper during Christmas," agreed Billy pensively.
"I didn't?" Geese asked with a faint smile.
Billy recalled that, as years went by, the Christmas decorations had started to invade the different floors of the skyscraper, until they reached the very floor where Geese's private office was located.
Geese didn't celebrate those festivities, but he didn't forbid anyone from doing so. Maybe, if they had had more time, Billy would have been able to sneak one symbolic Christmas wreath into the office itself.
Suddenly, Billly realized something that he had not taken into account, anxious as he was about the unexpected return of his boss.
"Geese-sama, why did you ask me to come specifically today?"
"Today is as good a day as any other."
Hein walked up to them holding two glasses of whisky, measured exactly as Geese-sama liked them, and Billy frowned and resented the interruption.
"I made arrangements with the security staff," Hein informed, straightening his back and standing next to Geese. "I also left instructions that you shouldn't be interrupted."
"Good."
"Should I spend the night here?"
Geese chuckled and Billy did not understand why. That laugh was one that Geese used only for him and no one else, but this time it had been directed at the cold-eyed butler.
"It won't be necessary," Geese replied.
Hein bowed again and took his leave.
Billy looked at the floor, feeling that he had been replaced completely. Did he have any chance of working for Geese again?
Because... If he thought about it carefully... Geese-sama had not asked for that meeting. Billy was the one who wanted to talk. If he hadn't asked, maybe they wouldn't have met that night, and Geese would have returned to South Town, leaving him behind.
Billy laced his fingers together to prevent himself from squirming, overwhelmed by uncertainty. Losing Geese had left something broken inside of him. Knowing that his boss was alive and that he might not be able to return to him filled him with desperation.
"Geese-sama, may I ask you a question?" Billy muttered, keeping his eyes respectfully low.
"You don't work for me anymore. There's no need to ask for permission."
Billy ignored the stab of pain that the statement caused. "I'm sorry."
"What are you apologizing for?" Geese asked, raising the glass of whisky to his lips. He sounded slightly amused when he continued: "Don't you know that you're my guest? Speak freely. You must have so many questions."
Billy nodded.
"Why didn't you tell me that you had survived?"
"Why indeed..." repeated Geese contemplatively, staring at the golden-colored liquid in his glass.
Billy waited and, as the response didn't come, he raised his eyes to gaze at his boss's face. The blond hair and light blue eyes had not changed at all, but he could see new wrinkles that made Geese look older.
"Were you able to have a good life, Billy?"
The same question of two nights ago, but this time, Billy answered: "I achieved the life I wanted for my sister."
"What about what you wanted?"
"It was impossible," Billy said, holding Geese's gaze with effort. "Because you weren't here anymore."
Geese remained silent, his face expressionless.
"Why didn't you tell me that you were alive?" Billy insisted. "What did you have to gain by not telling me?"
"Gain? Nothing." Geese chuckled softly. "Nothing at all."
"Then why?"
Billy was surprised at his own voice. His tone had risen, and his question sounded sullen. He didn't resent Geese for letting him suffer for such a long time, but the pain he carried inside, the guilt, and the regrets he had struggled to suppress were threatening to burst out of him now that his boss was back.
Geese kept silent and stared at Billy's eyes, that shone with something similar to anger. For some reason, seeing the younger man becoming agitated like this made Geese smile.
"I wondered what you would think," Geese said, and his clear yet soft voice contrasted with the intensity of Billy's words. "Surviving a defeat is still a defeat. Has your respect for me faded?"
Billy blinked confusedly.
"The only person who cares about that kind of thing is you, Geese-sama," he said as courteously and firmly as he could manage. "For me, nothing has changed. What's more, I want..." Billy closed his eyes. This wasn't the way he had planned to get his job back, but it was too late to back off now. "I want to work for you again. If you would have me."
Geese received those words looking pleased, but he didn't accept Billy's offer right away. Without answering, he stood up and walked to the living room's window, to take a look at the street below and its blinking Christmas decorations.
Distressed by the lack of a reply, Billy stood up too and he remained a couple of steps behind Geese, looking at his back, like he had done many times in the skyscraper back in South Town.
"Achieving a full recovery is taking longer than I had planned," Geese commented with slight irritation, but then he chuckled. "It was worth it, however. I got to watch Bogard haunted by the guilt of having killed someone himself—how he struggled to deal with the fact that he wasn't better than the person he despises so much."
Billy frowned. He hated to see that Geese still thought about Terry.
"You didn't announce that you were alive because you wanted Terry Bogard to feel guilt?" Billy asked, trying to control his fury and failing.
Geese laughed again at his resentful voice.
"That wasn't the only reason," he answered, to appease Billy. "The convalescence took time."
Billy's anger disappeared.
"How are you feeling now, Geese-sama?"
Geese kept silent and Billy concluded that his former boss was not going to answer that question. And that meant that Geese had not recovered yet, despite his easiness of manner or the way he conducted himself, as if the fall had never happened.
"Don't you think it would be convenient to hire me again?" Billy asked, and then he added, disdainfully: "After all, a butler is not a bodyguard."
Geese turned toward him and smiled.
"I noticed that you don't seem to like Hein."
"If you chose him, he must have some merit, but, as I said, he's not a bodyguard."
"Are you jealous, Billy?" Geese teased, looking amused.
"I'm not," Billy assured him.
"I'll tolerate your lie because you're not my subordinate at this moment. But don't lie to me again."
"I won't do it again, Geese-sama."
"Is there something else you want to tell me?"
"Are you accepting my proposal?"
"Just like I told you years ago, it's still very difficult to find good employees," Geese nodded.
Billy felt a rush of relief and he couldn't repress a smile.
Geese kept his gaze fixed on him.
"It seems I was wrong. I thought being free would make you happy."
Billy shook his head, smiling still, and he kept to himself that Terry Bogard had said something similar. Something about starting a new life, free from Geese.
Geese-sama would probably be very upset if he knew that he shared a common opinion with his enemy.
"I had a debt to pay, but I wasn't with you against my will," Billy said.
"But being submissive to another's will clearly displeases you."
Billy recalled the night Geese ordered him not to return to the skyscraper until the end of the tournament. He had spent years regretting his docile obedience.
"Not 'another', just you," Billy corrected through gritted teeth.
"Is that all you want? To obey... Obey me, for the rest of your life?
"I want to be useful to you and protect you; but it doesn't mean that I don't want anything else."
Billy looked at the floor. It was surreal to be having that conversation with Geese after such a long time. And he knew that he was talking too much, but Geese was asking questions and making him want to confess everything. Everything he thought he would never get the chance to say.
"What else do you want?" asked Geese impatiently. "Speak freely."
Geese waited but Billy only glanced at him guiltily before quickly averting his eyes.
Some seconds went by and Geese said in a low voice: "I think I know what you're talking about. Is it something that you have wanted from me since the time you were a new recruit, and that you never mentioned because you're a good employee?"
Billy felt something close to panic and he raised his eyes once more. Geese was looking at him amusedly, but there was no trace of cruelty or sarcasm in his expression.
"Did you... know?" Billy asked, embarrassed, but not really surprised. During his youth, the feelings he had for his boss had manifested in a thousand different ways, at inconvenient times. It had been an uncomfortable and irritating period of his life in which an accidental touch of Geese's hands made him blush, and a glance of his boss kept him awake all night, tossing around in bed, or doing something else...
But this had happened years ago. Billy had thought that the attraction he felt for Geese was under control, and that he knew how to conceal it.
"You're not working for me right now," Geese pointed out, agreeably, focused on every minuscule change in Billy's confused demeanor. "Do you want to try to get what you want?"
"What are you trying to say, Geese-sama?"
"I don't think I need to explain myself."
Instantly, Billy was defensive. If Geese was playing with him, he was being extremely cruel.
But Geese didn't look as if he were making fun of him.
"Why... so suddenly?" Billy muttered.
"I don't involve myself with subordinates," Geese replied. "But tonight you're my guest."
"I didn't mean that..." Billy realized that he was talking to gain some time, because he didn't know how to handle what was happening. He forced himself to explain: "You never showed interest in... me."
Geese laughed at that. In just one step, he was in front of Billy, staring intently.
"This is the second time I want to take you with me to South Town," he pointed out. "Do you need further proof of my interest?"
"G-Geese-sama…"
Billy felt weak all over. Geese had come back, unexpectedly and alive, and now he was offering something that had been lost to hopelessness a long time ago. To have him, even if it was for one night.
The situation was surreal, almost like a dream.
But Billy knew how to tell dreams and reality apart, and this was definitely real. Geese-sama was with him. He wasn't a product of his imagination.
Billy raised his hand and timidly touched his former boss's chest, looking at the businessman at all times to confirm if that kind of gesture was allowed.
They weren't used to touch each other, except during training, and his first attempt at a caress was slow and clumsy. However, Geese allowed it, and he remained still when Billy leaned forward to try to brush his lips in a kiss.
The kiss was not returned and Billy moved away at once. Geese was looking at him with a furrowed brow, perplexed.
"I'm sorry," Billy said quickly, overcome with mortification. "I thought you meant... Please forgive me."
Billy stopped talking when he felt Geese's hand against his cheek. His former boss's perplexity had turned into curiosity.
"You didn't get it wrong," Geese said. "But we have different ways of looking at things."
"Eh?"
"Is this how you want to do it?" Geese went on. "Tenderly?"
Billy stammered while intense warmth crept up to his face, as if, instead of being a thirty-one year old adult, he were the same distrustful boy Geese had taken with him, over a decade ago.
"I'm not used to receiving this kind of affection," Geese explained.
"I know, I didn't mean to..."
"You'll have to show me."
Billy blinked. He saw the shadow of a smile on Geese-sama's lips and he realized that his boss was having fun with him. He felt irritation washing over him, and the urge to show Geese that he didn't lack experience. He wasn't an unexperienced boy who could be embarrassed for fun.
He wasn't, but...
Geese laughed and stroked his blushing face.
"So? What would you like to do?"
Billy raised his hand and grabbed his former boss's wrist. He enjoyed both the caress and the mocking, resigned to the fascination inspired by that man, who sometimes could be downright exasperating. Geese's personality should have make him want to rebel against him. Why did he enjoy following his orders instead?
Billy tried to remain composed, but he was feeling increasingly anxious. In his chest, his heart was racing. He didn't dare move. He could have stayed as he was, completely still, to not interrupt the caress.
But Geese was waiting, and Billy kissed him once more.
The kiss was slow and gentle, and, shocked as he was by the fact that he was kissing his boss, Billy also noticed a faint uncertainty on Geese's part, an almost unnoticeable inexperience when returning the kiss.
Perplexed, Billy was filled with deep affection toward him. Geese-sama knew how to govern a city and control an incredible power, but embraces and kisses—those harmless signs of affection—seemed to be beyond his knowledge.
Billy's thoughts were interrupted when he felt Geese's hand sliding under his T-shirt and caressing his skin.
The bedroom's lights were dim. Only the small lamps set on the bedside tables were on, and the room was immersed in a cozy gloom.
Billy had lost his jacket, T-shirt and bo on the way, and Geese's shirt lay crumpled unceremoniously at the feet of the bed, under both of their trousers. However, except for the haste to get rid of the clothes, Geese had let Billy take the initiative.
Billy had kissed him again, cautiously, and not just on the lips. When the younger man saw the new scars the fall had left, he showed surprise and kissed them one by one, with a purposeful slowness, as if he were expecting to be pushed away for his audacity.
Geese didn't say anything. He merely followed each kiss with his eyes, accompanying Billy's movements with caresses, smiling quietly when something as chaste as running his fingers through Billy's hair caused an intense shiver.
Although he had wanted this for years, Billy did not allow himself to be carried away in a thoughtless pursuit of satisfaction that would have been over in mere minutes. His cheeks were bright pink as he tried to avoid looking directly at Geese, but he seemed to be postponing the pleasure deliberately.
As if he wanted to enjoy the moment, making it last as long as possible.
There was no trace of innocence in Billy's actions. No insecure hesitation.
Geese ran his fingers through Billy's blond hair again and after a few seconds he made him stop and brought him closer, looking for his lips, which he took in a kiss he himself started. He savored a familiar yet foreign taste in Billy, and he thought he could feel the boy smiling at his unexpected behavior.
It wasn't hard to discover the things Billy liked, going slowly, imitating the unhurriedness of his touches and kisses. Billy enjoyed not just the pleasure, but also the person he was sharing it with.
Seeing Billy like this, Geese made no haste, and when the appropriate moment arrived, he consummated an act that had been defined by Billy's unwavering love for him.
Geese buttoned up his shirt while looking at Billy, who was getting dressed on the other side of the bed, his back turned toward him. Billy was staring through the half closed doors at the Christmas tree standing in the living room.
"Geese-sama, why did you choose this date?"
"It was a coincidence."
"There are no coincidences when you're involved."
Geese smiled. It had been a long time since someone refuted him so openly.
"What are you implying? That I did this due to sentimentality?"
Billy chuckled and shook his head. One moment later, duly dressed, he came closer to Geese.
"A telephone call would have been enough and I would have returned to your side. There was no need to come all the way here."
Geese stared at the young man who had been his bodyguard for over a decade. Billy seemed at ease, even though his cheeks were still a little flushed. His damp hair was messy, and his eyes were bright and clear under the dim light of the lamps.
"If I hadn't noticed your presence that night, would you have called me?"
There was a long pause.
"Who knows," Geese replied.
A shadow of anguish passed through Billy's countenance.
"But why?"
"I told you before."
Billy let out a tiny sound of impatience and Geese laughed. He still found pleasure in teasing him and seeing Billy conceal his irritation out of respect.
Slowly, Geese stood in front of Billy. With the back of his hand, he stroked Billy's flushed cheek, and Billy leaned toward his touch.
"But I see that not taking you with me would have been a mistake."
"I want to be with you," Billy nodded.
Geese stroked Billy's wet hair and then he gently brought the younger man closer to him.
Embraces had always seemed a meaningless, unnecessary and foreign form of contact, but it was nice to have Billy's warmth against his chest, or to enjoy the way the boy would hold tight to him.
This time wasn't the exception. Billy leaned against him and Geese noticed that he was able to take him into his arms avoiding the rigidity or discomfort caused by the previous embraces.
"I'm really happy to have you back, Geese-sama," Billy whispered.
Geese didn't answer, but he held Billy more tightly, and he smiled when the boy hugged him back.
~ Fin ~
MiauNeko
Happy birthday and Merry Christmas, Billy TvT 3
December 25, 2020
Note: I wrote this originally on November 12, 2019, and I wasn't sure if I should make it public. But then again, seeing an inexperienced Geese-sama who doesn't know how to hug people back was too good to let it sit in my computer forever ^v^.
The translation into English took a long time, however, and I wasn't able to post it on Dec. 25th T^T.)