Hello, readers whom this story hasn't been updated for in over a year! Wow, what the heck is wrong with me? Last time I posted was in September of 2010! I actually can't believe you guys still kept reading and reviewing, despite the fact that this story may as well be dead by now. I mean I know I'm infamous for taking long periods of time to update, but this must be a record. Seriously, what the heck is wrong with me? Hah, well, I guess I can answer that question by saying I've been EXTREMELY busy with work and school... not sure if that's good enough for you guys though :P. And at least I've still been updating my Ce and Da short-story, Seven White Lilies! Erm, if you can call that updating, that is... It says that the last time I posted a new chapter for that was in August... Well, never mind! At least I'm back now! And hopefully, my next update will NOT take half as long as this one!
But seriously guys, I am really grateful to all of you for continuing to read and review this story in my absence. It means more than most of you can imagine. So I'm gonna do my best to make this new chapter worth your while! Thank you for all your comments and compliments for the last chapter! And I hope I'll be receiving many of them for this one as well, despite my inability to update appropriately!
On another note, I recently played Dynasty Warriors 7- I must say, I am truly impressed with the renovations Koei has made with their latest release. Of course, I have a few nitpicks here and there- such as the players' movesets depending solely upon the type of weapons they use, and any other character being able to imitate it (other than musou & special attacks). Also, I don't like how certain characters aren't playable or even mentioned in Musou Mode (e.g- THE QIAOS!) and not everyone has a cutscene or is given a backstory. However, it is still obvious that alot of thought, time and creativity went into this game, and the result was a neat, organized and action-packed hack-and-slash production! I especially enjoy entering provinces in Conquest Mode! Plus I'm counting on the Xtreme Legends installment to make up for any lack of the characters' screentime.
Okay that MIGHT be enough of this rambling A/N, lol...
So, to everyone out there, here is the long-overdue Chapter 31!
Enjoy.
Sun Shang Xiang stormed up the winding staircase to the North Tower, furiously swiping at the half-dried tears on her face. Her chestnut brown hair, which had grown a little during the few months she'd left it alone, whipped off and around her face with every one of her quick, undisguised stomps. She didn't care if her heard her coming. Let him. Perhaps it would even scare him enough into telling her what she intended to find out.
Reaching the top of the stairs, she flung the door- which could have been locked- open with a slam.
Lu Xun gave a yelp, and nearly fell out of his seat at the noise. He turned, and dropped his quill and his jaw at the sight of her.
"Princess-!" he exclaimed, leaping to his feet. He began trying to think fast of a solution to the problem this new arrival posed, all the while never taking his eyes off her. His mouth opened and closed rapidly, revealing that he hadn't an inkling of what to say.
If Shang Xiang hadn't been in her current state of mind, she would have felt sorry for the boy. His Adam's apple was dancing in and out of his throat, and even from where she was standing, she could make out that he'd broken into a cold sweat. There were dark shadows under his magnified eyes, and his pale skin appeared stretched over his cheekbones.
However, in her anger, Shang Xiang's sympathies could not be stirred- not even by the state of this poor young man of whom she'd grown rather fond.
Her eyes carelessly swept over Xun a few times, then settled on the desk where he'd been working. There were several, long, slightly worn-out looking scrolls, an enormous dog-eared book, a few quills, not including the one Xun had let drop to the floor, and a small pot of ink.
Strange. Zhou Yu's departure would have normally meant that Xun was now excused from his studies for the time being. There could be no learning for the student without his master- of that much, Shang Xiang was certain. So why was Lu Xun still so hard at work? Why hadn't he returned to the his main living quarters, amongst the other inhabitants of Jian Ye palace after Zhou Yu informed him that her father- that her father and brother were... But Shang Xiang could not even bring herself to remember those grotesque events which had unfolded after one another so rapidly.
Instead, she lifted her head, staring down at the boy and spoke, with enough authority that her voice filled the entire circular room.
"Where is he?" she asked coldly.
Xun blinked, confused.
"Where is... who, Princess? I don't quite-"
"Don't play dumb with me!" Shang Xiang snapped. "You know full well who I'm talking about. Your master, where is your master?"
Xun bit his lips.
I can't give Master away. No matter what, I won't give him away!
"I thought you already knew that, Princess," he attempted to say calmly. "Master Zhou Yu had gone to obtain permission from our Lord Sun Jian to visit Lord Sun Ce in Xuchang. I imagined Lord Sun Jian would inform you and Lord Sun Quan of his whereabouts, if he agreed to my Master's request."
Shang Xiang raised her eyebrows, satisfied with this answer. So she had been right. Yu hadn't told Xun about what had happened, which meant Xun had no idea of Sun Jian's stroke, or Sun Ce's injury at all. That meant Yu had been planning on leaving to Xu Chang the entire time! Why would he intend to do that? It wasn't at all like Yu to abandon his studies; and certainly not for a frivolous banquet-celebration in Wei. If he needed a break so desperately, he would have rested within the palace and its grounds themselves- unless he was starving for Ce's company, which she highly doubted was the case.
The only way Shang Xiang could see Yu leaving his training was if Sun Ce needed him- if Sun Ce sent word to Yu that he needed his help. Then, Shang Xiang was sure, Yu would leave any and all important matters behind to help his sworn brother. She was sure the same held true if ever she, or Quan, or their father were in danger. But each of them had been safe at the time Yu asked to be excused from his work. So that was the only possibility- that Ce had summoned Yu himself. But why?
Clearing her throat, Shang Xiang began again.
"And why would he do that? Yu wouldn't leave his work in the midst of his toughest trial yet. Besides, why are you still working so diligently? Since Yu's gone, you should be on a break too, shouldn't you?"
Xun swallowed, trying to buy time. What could he say now? He decided to answer her easier question, and work his way from there.
"I'm only excused under drastic conditions, such as when a disaster for the family's occurred. Master Zhou Yu wanting to take personal time off has nothing to do with my getting a break as well."
Shang Xiang smiled.
"Oh, really? Well," she continued, glancing over at Xun's desk, "even I can tell that the work you're doing looks much too hard for that of your level. It doesn't appear to be the kind of work Yu would assign you at all."
"I asked to be allowed finish what remained of Master's work for him. There wasn't much left, and I didn't want him to fail to meet his deadline while he was away."
"Is that so?" Shang Xiang mused aloud. "I wonder was so important, that caused Yu to leave his assignment in your hands. How much did leaving mean to him?"
Xun didn't answer.
Shang Xiang's eyes narrowed.
"I like you, Xun. You're a very nice boy, and I don't for a moment regret Daddy saving you from the rubble of your home which Cao Cao destroyed. But you know something, and I'm going to get to the bottom of it. You know why Daddy chose Yu to be the one to go to my brother, and not me!"
Shang Xiang's last words were strangled, as though she was struggling to suppress fresh tears. She hurriedly composed herself. She could not show signs of weakening. That would be too much like a woman.
Xun was more baffled than ever by this.
"'Chose?' I don't understand, Princess. I thought Master asked to be sent there, I didn't know-"
"Never mind that," Shang Xiang almost rasped through her controlled sobs, cutting him across. "We're talking about something else. There was a reason Yu wanted to leave, and, as Princess of Wu, I order you to tell me what it is."
Xun remained silent, contemplating her with stubborn eyes.
"Give it up," Shang Xiang went on. "There's no point in protecting him. There's no need, either. You should know how much I love my brothers, and would defend them with my life. This is for the greater good, Xun, do you understand? I have to know!"
"Why?"
Shang Xiang shut her eyes. She didn't want it to come to this. She didn't want to disturb Xun with the news. She knew Yu had left his young pupil with an arduous task, and she wanted him to succeed at helping her adopted brother achieve his dreams. She knew that if anyone deserved to be Grand Strategist of Wu, Zhou Yu did. She also had no doubt in her mind that Xun was his rightful successor. She didn't want to ruin his progress, didn't want to discourage him from completing his master's work.
But, looking at Xun, she saw that he was hell-bent on protecting his Master's secret. Only the truth would make him yield.
"Lu Xun, Lord Sun Ce's been shot with a poison arrow. Lord Sun Jian, who received the news yesterday morning, suffered a stroke. Now Yu's the only one who can help Ce, and enable my father's recovery, since before he lost consciousness, Lord Sun Jian ordered him to go to Xuchang."
Xun face had been turning, if possible, even whiter with Shang Xiang's ever word. He staggered, lost his balance, and had to grab onto his desk to right himself.
"How-how..." he gasped.
"It doesn't matter how, Xun. All that matters now, other than everyone being alright again, is why. That's why you've got to tell me why Ce called for Yu! What did he need? What could possibly cause him to be attacked like that? There's no way this could have been an accident!"
Xun was staring into the distance, still holding onto his desk for support. He was at a loss for what to do. Was there any point in keeping his master's secret, after all that had occurred?
"All I want, Xun," Shang Xiang entreated softly, "is to protect my family. I just want to ensure nothing like this happens to Yu this time. And I just want to help Ce- I can be just as useful as Yu if I have to be! And I'd rather I was hurt instead of him! I'm sick and tired of everyone putting themselves in harm's way just to keep me safe, like I'm some kind of useless child!"
Shang Xiang's voice was heatedly rising as she spoke, and Xun could see the tears accumulating in her eyes with each word, as they finally overwhelmed her. She paused, her eyes swimming with moisture, and her lips trembling.
"Or maybe I am useless," she whispered, minutes later, allowing the tears to spill over her eyelids at last.
She fell to her knees and broke down, sobbing uncontrollably.
Why am I even here? What am I worth?, she thought, as she gave in to those feelings of inadequacy that had been haunting her forever. No one needs me. There's nothing I can do that others can do better. I'm nothing, nothing!
Xun looked at her with sympathy in his gaze. He understood all too well how she might be feeling. After all, Sun Shang Xiang been the only girl who lived in the palace ever since she was a young child- other than maidservants, of course. It was natural that she'd want to prove herself, like her brothers did, and even more natural that they'd want to protect her from danger. They later realized they needn't always need to- she'd grown strong enough herself while training alongside them. What she didn't realize was that she didn't need to prove herself anymore- she'd accomplished so much already, and was impressive even to other princesses across the land. And Xun knew she wistfully longed to be a great beauty- her natural prettiness and attractive vivacity didn't satisfy her. She wanted to look like her mother- she wanted femininity to come to her naturally, or not at all. She otherwise enjoyed being a tomboy, and convinced herself that indulging in feminine matters was weak and frivolous. She distracted herself from her wishes of beauty with wishes of strength, which she felt that hard work achieved more easily than it achieved beauty. She was certain she couldn't be like her mother- despite being the last hope her father had of one of his children greatly resembling his beloved wife. So she wanted to be like her brothers- all three of them at once. She simply refused to accept that trying that was too much for any human to handle- she wasn't failing because she was a girl.
"Oh, Princess," Xun said soothingly over her sobs, "you must stop overburdening yourself. You're trying to handle much more than anyone's capable of. It's too late to fix anything now, Princess. All that's left to do is hope, and to take care of yourself as well as others. If you want to protect your family- the best thing to do is comfort them. Only two of your immediate family remain in the palace now. You could be the one to care for them. Look after your father as he recovers. And... I know it might be hard for you, Princess... but comfort your brother. Lord Sun Quan may need you more than you know."
Xun paused, wondering how he'd reached Shang Xiang's huddled, weeping form as he'd been talking, as well as how his hand was resting on her head in an attempt to pacify her.
"After all," he continued, struck with an idea, "it seems as if everyone around here's marching off to face action, and maybe even violence. No one stays behind to lovingly handle, with gentleness , those who need it anymore. How about you be the first, Princess? Something tells me your family needs nothing more than that at the moment. And I don't think anything could make your father happier."
Shang Xiang finally looked up at him. Through her tears, Xun could discern her incredulous expression.
"Me?" she whispered, looking so taken aback at the idea, Xun had to smile at her warmly. He dared to wipe her tears away before he continued.
"Do the one thing your brothers can never do, Princess. Be a daughter. Be a sister. You have everything useful within you for a time like this- and you're the only one who can give your family what they need now more than ever. Anyone could wage a war, anyone could fight, anyone could avenge, anyone could gallop away to Xuchang. So could you. But not everyone can be a source of comfort the way a woman can. Not anyone could stay collected and caring while everyone else has lost their minds to sorrow and fear. You're the only daughter of the Sun Family, Princess. Why not make that title as unique as it really is?"
Shang Xiang's hazel eyes had grown as wide as any Xun had ever seen. She took all his words in. Could Xun have been wiser than she'd given him credit for? Could this be the one thing she'd been neglecting to do in her life? She could be the glue which held her family together. All this time, it had been Sun Jian who'd been in charge of that, and occasionally Ce. Even more occasionally, it had been Yu. But now, all of them were either hurt or gone. It rested upon her shoulders to resume that responsibility- and as Lu Xun had said, she could do it in a way that none of them ever could. She could do it the way her mother used to!
"You keep trying to be just like them. But you need to be just like you."
Bizarrely, Shang Xiang remembered Da Qiao and Xiao Qiao. She was grateful for the short amount of time she'd spent with her friends. Seeing Da look after Xiao had taught her all she needed to know when it came to assuming control of a situation such as this one. She could be who she was born to be. She'd always been strong enough to fight, strong enough for war. Now she had to be strong enough to love.
Finally, Shang Xiang took a deep, shuddering breath, and smiled, looking into Lu Xun's eyes in gratitude. She knew what she had to do now.
Xun smiled back, immensely proud of her- as ridiculous as that sounded. He knew what his job was- to finish his master's work in time, no matter what it cost him. The Wu princess could figure out later what his master's reason for wanting to leave was- he knew there was no more danger in her knowing the truth. He was just glad that he hadn't been the one to break any promises.
"You sure you got everything covered? Don't need any help, or nothing?"
"Yes, Ning. I think this is one thing I can handle myself."
"You sure about that? I mean, Tong and I could-"
"Well, I'm gonna have to, aren't I? Who else could be suited enough for this?"
Shang Xiang exhaled, slightly fatigued, and turned to face Gan Ning.
She and Ning had been walking and whispering up and down hallways for the past two hours, taking matters regarding the well-being of the palace and its household into their hands. It was mostly Shang Xiang who was in charge of all the work- Ning was only needed to provide 'emotional support', according to her.
"Things seem to be within my capacity so far," she whispered quickly. "Daddy's resting, and according to his physicians, that isn't a problem as long as he keeps responding to treatments. I've managed to calm all the maids down, and good thing too, since they've just been hysterical ever since word got out about Ce and Daddy. And loud wailing could only hurt his condition more, he needs peace and quiet. Meanwhile, Gai, Ci, Tong and Meng are about to go serve as lookouts along the borders of the city in case anyone decides to invade, and Xun's still safe and at work at the top of the North Tower."
She paused to draw in breath.
"And I really hope Yu's done whatever he had to do before checking on Ce," she murmured to herself.
Looking up at Ning, she took a deep breath.
"Thanks so much for all the support, Ning. I don't think I could have held my own without you," she said gratefully, before reaching out and hugging him close.
"Hey, no need to thank me. It was fun," said a surprised Ning from between her neck and shoulder. He ruffled her hair and wrapped his arms about her tighter. He moved his mouth to her ear, and made his voice huskier. "Though if you ever wanna show me some more gratitude, we could always-"
Shang Xiang laughed and gave his chest a hard shove.
"None of that. Now beat it, I need to do this."
Ning folded his arms and surveyed her with a half-concernedly, half-skeptically raised eyebrow.
"This is gonna make me sound so repetitive- but you sure you're up to this? I mean as far as I remember, you can't stand the guy-"
"Look, it doesn't matter. Someone's got to put an end to all these hard feelings between us, and well, I don't think taking the initiative makes me any smaller of heart. Right?"
Ning nodded once, still watching her with anxiety.
Shang Xiang took another deep breath before turning around.
"Besides," she went on, "he's my brother too."
Da Qiao's fingers were twisting together. She barely noticed them, they did that all time now- just like they did over a year ago whenever she was in the presence of the man she'd fallen in love with.
She refrained from swallowing too hard, refrained from jumping out of her seat and either dashing out of the waiting room, or bursting into the Royal Physician's chambers unannounced.
Was she doing the right thing? she wondered for the hundredth time. Then, for the hundredth time again, she reproached herself. It wasn't as though she were trying to sneak into his room and have a private word with him! As far as anyone knew, Da was only making the polite, appropriate move- inquiring after the condition of the young lord who'd suffered a 'most unfortunate accident' on the Lord of the Palace's watch. Now, who could say she was wrong to do so?
She realized she'd been holding her breath for almost a whole minute, and released it at once, alarmed. How nervous could she possibly be? Nothing could go wrong, not over something like this. She replayed the palace's current situation in her head once more, just to make sure.
It had been three days since Lord Sun Ce's near-fatal injury, and last night, his physicians had informed Cao Cao that he had finally regained complete consciousness. The entire palace, mainly the other guests, rejoiced at the news, relieved that the young Wu heir still had the rest of his life to live out. There relief was almost bizarre- since the selfsame heir might even turn out to pose a formidable threat to them and their homelands someday. Almost all the guests who'd been invited to Lord Cao Pi's Coming-of-Age ceremony departed Xuchang Palace and Wei once they'd heard that Sun Ce was to make a full recovery. Only a few prominent people- such as Master Zhao Yun- had decided to stay and congratulate him in person after his recovery.
Lord Cao Cao was, at the moment, attending to matters of the State somewhere in Luoyang- he normally would not have left without meeting with Lord Sun Ce first, but it was an unexpected, important tributary visit from a Queen Himiko of the Islands to the West. Lord Cao Cao was to return on the morrow. Cao Pi- who had remained unsurprisingly cool and collected all throughout Sun Ce's mishap and recovery, was out hunting with a few officials, and the Lady Zhen, and was not due back until nightfall.
Da did her best to intake a slow, deep breath without losing her composure. There was nothing to fear. Even if Cao Cao learned of this visit, there was nothing he'd be able make of it- most would say that Lady Da Qiao was supposed to check on Lord Sun Ce's condition while the Wei Ruler was away. He had even planned on making the visit to Sun Ce's bedside with her as an added formality- no doubt to make her suffer as she looked at him, but could not speak to him as she willed, of course. Da sighed with remorse. Who was to say she would be able to speak to Ce as she willed, even in Cao Cao's absence, anyway? She was so nervous, she doubted she'd even be brave enough to look at him, after what she'd witnessed- she'd even go as far as to say caused- happen to him. But she had to try.
She owed Ce the truth, about herself and about her sister, whom she hoped he'd still be able to help after this. She may be doomed. But she wasn't going to let Xiao Qiao suffer the same fate as herself. Only... after how she'd nearly lost Ce... she couldn't bear to ask him to face any more dangers now. Especially not after Cao Cao had threatened her the night it happened. She had to protect him. She just... wanted to apologize to him profusely before he left. She wanted to finally confess her feelings, and hoped he'd accept them. She could find a way to help her sister herself, without endangering him anymore. And... if by any chance, after Ce was safely back in Wu, he gave any thought to her and Xiao, he could save her for Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu might even help, when he found out about it. Then they could all be happy.
Da's eyes filled with tears. She bit her lip to keep from weeping. She shut her eyes, and willed them to dry with all her might.
If only... If only things could be different... Oh, Ce...
"Lady Da Qiao?"
Da's eyes snapped open, and she beheld one of the sky-blue-robed royal nurses drawing closed the curtain to Sun Ce's room as she exited it. She had several rolls of bandages and some ointment in her hands.
Da got to her feet at once, fighting to keep her hands by her sides.
"Yes?" she answered, trying not to sound too flustered or nervy.
The nurse gave her a friendly smile.
"Lord Sun Ce is ready to greet visitors now. You may see him," she said.
Da Qiao couldn't suppress a small sigh of relief.
"Thank you. I shall be out by and by," she said to the nurse, with a smile of her own.
The nurse bowed her head and took her leave.
Da slowly made her way to the room. She put her hand on one of the curtains, ready to draw it open. She paused for a moment and shut her eyes.
This is it.
Beyond these curtains was the young man she loved- the only man she'd ever loved. And she loved him so much- so much! More than he or anyone else ever knew. She just hoped, with all her heart, that she was strong enough to convey that to him now. That was all she wanted to do- that and see him smile at her one last time before she resigned her life to the only man she hated.
Da took another deep breath, straightened herself up, and mustering all her courage, stepped into Sun Ce's room.
The first thing she noticed was the strong smell of medicines and herbs. The next thing she noticed was that the curtains to the windows were pulled back, and bright sunlight streamed into the room. Directly opposite the windows was a sizable bed with navy hangings and sheets. And laying in the bed with his face turned away from the door- was Sun Ce.
Da's breath caught in her throat at the sight of him. He appeared to be resting, but judging by the way his chest was rising and falling, his breathing was not regular. But that wasn't what she found disturbing. Sun Ce's chest was bandaged completely, and while the bindings appeared fresh and clean, she could just make out a dark patch of semi-dried blood underneath them. The sight almost made her stomach turn. Her eyes flitted elsewhere, not able to bear it, and she saw that his very dark, mahogany colored hair, which he always wore in a high ponytail, now lay spread all over his navy pillows. His muscular, tanned arms and shoulders were bare, and lay limp by his sides, as though tiresome to move.
Once again, Da had to fight back tears.
I did this.
For as long as she'd known him, Sun Ce seemed to be a pillar of strength to her- infallible and unconquerable, tough and resilient. But now, he lay weak and inert, and the slight sheen of sweat on his forehead indicated that even breathing was painful to him... And it was all because of her. Even if Ce did forgive her, could she ever forgive herself?
Trying to pull herself together, Da was just about to clear her throat to announce her arrival, when Ce turned his head and faced her.
The change his expression took on when he saw her standing there was fairly terrifying. His eyes narrowed, his nostrils flared momentarily, and his jaw tightened. Even his hands clenched themselves into massive fists.
Da actually staggered a few steps back, struck with fear. Why was he looking at her that way? Even though he was bedridden, his face was enough to scare her into stammers. Already, Da could feel her all of her courage beginning to rapidly ebb away.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded coldly.
His voice bit into her flesh. Never, never had Ce spoken to Da in such a tone. She struggled to disregard it and answer his question.
"I-I... came to see how you were, Lord Sun Ce, and-"
"I'm alive," Ce spat. "Sorry to disappoint you. Now you've seen for yourself that your little plan failed."
Da's eyes enlarged to their fullest extent. Her heart began hammering in her chest. What on earth was he saying? She had no idea what he meant! And why was he being so hostile to her?
"W-What are you-"
"It's too bad, isn't it? Now you'll have to go inform Lord Cao Cao that he's got to find a new way to kill me. Smothering me in my sleep would have been a good idea, but now that I'm expecting that, well, I doubt it would work anymore, would it?"
Da gave a strangled gasp.
No. NO!
He couldn't mean it. He couldnt! Why, oh why was this happening? She fought to keep from crying, fought to stay calm as she replied,
"Please, Lord Sun Ce. You've made a huge mistake, that's in no way what-"
"Oh, please. Save your breath. You really expect me to believe that this whole thing was an accident? Don't insult my intelligence, Lady Da Qiao. It's too big of coincidence that I was shot right when you wanted a so-called private word on the goddamn terrace with me. I can't believe that I was even stupid enough to agree to your request, that I actually trusted you. You! What the hell was the matter with me? Did I really imagine that there was more to you than you were showing me? That you had something to tell me, that you actually valued my life?"
Tears, unbidden, but too powerful for her to control, were starting in Da's eyes now. She would have tried to speak to him, attempted to clear her name, but her lips were trembling too violently for her to talk.
"I was a fool," Ce growled. "A fool to think I could reach out to you, when I'd already seen that there was nothing to reach out to. A fool to keep hoping. But not even in a million years could I have guessed that you wanted me dead."
The tears were now cascading freely down Da's cheeks. Her vision was blurred. She could barely make him or the room out.
"I would never," she whispered, anguished. "Never."
She futilely swiped at her cheeks, trying to get rid of her tears.
"Please believe me," she half-choked out.
Ce scoffed, no sympathy in his gaze.
"You're asking me to believe someone like you. You left me, remember? That day. You left me of your own free will. Even if you had no choice, you could have tried to fight your fate, with me helping you at any cost. And even if you couldn't fight it, if leaving wasn't what you wanted, you could have let me know how you truly felt. But you'd planned to leave from the beginning. You manipulated me, used me for your own amusement. You say you'd never want me hurt? I thought you'd never say, or even think, those disgusting things you told me about my family that day. Your admission made it clear. You knew exactly how I felt about you, and you still crippled my pride in the worst way possible rather than leave me against your will, and for what! You're a liar, and a cheat. Why shouldn't I think you're capable of a plot like this? After all, at one point, I was dumb enough to believe you even had heart-!"
A spasm of pain shot through Ce here, overwhelming him, and he succumbed to a sudden bout of wheezing.
On instinct, Da started forward with concern, her hand outstretched, but Ce instantly shot her a look of such foreboding, of such aggression, she faltered in her tracks.
"Stay away from me," he murmured, venom filling his voice. "You allowed me to get shot. You put me in this state. You've rendered me weak, helpless. And now you would dare to approach me?"
"No, I didn't."
The front of her dress was getting soaked by the tears that had leaked onto it. It was growing impossible to keep talking to him, but she had to. Everything she tood for depended on in. Everything she felt for him was at stake.
She attempted to brush her face clean with her hands, while still keeping her eyes on him.
"I didn't do it, Ce, I didn't know he-"
"Liar."
It took just that one word, that one syllable, to silence her. Da halted mid-sentence once more, staring dumbstruck and horrified at what he'd just called her.
"You planned it with him, didn't you, for your own motives. You wanted to make sure he never found out about what happened between us. You wanted to make sure I wouldn't let anything slip... didn't you?"
Da's hands flew to her heart. She shook her head slowly, mutely, unable to believe this was really happening. She would give anything, anything for him to believe her! But through all her actions to protect him, she'd lost his trust, just as she firmly believed she lost his love- forever. How could she tell him of the promise she'd made to her father? Of the threats Cao Cao had given her? Of the unconditional, undying love she felt for him-!
The answer to all that was simple. She couldn't. Not anymore.
Why...?
"Well, rest assured. Your secret is safe. Now you can marry him in peace."
Even after hearing such a terrible statement as that, she knew she had to keep trying.
Da opened her mouth in a last attempt to convince Ce of the truth.
"Please, Ce. I beg of you. I beg you to hear me out. There's no way I could ever dream of hurting you, Ce, I lo-"
"The correct way to address me is Lord Sun Ce, Lady Da Qiao. Any further slip-up on your part would be severely frowned upon by all. You know that as well as I... don't you?"
Was it possible for one to feel their heart breaking? Da had never been sure of the answer before, but now she was certain that if it was, that was what she had just felt- her heart snapping in two, and then a dozen, devoid of all the hope and longing it had cherished and preserved so carefully all these months. Now there was nothing. Now she was nothing.
"I think," said Ce, oblivious to the transformation Da's heart had just gone through as he checked his wrappings, "that it's time for my bandages to be changed. There's no telling when these wounds can split, y'know?" He turned back to Da, his face indifferent. "I guess it's time we said goodbye, Lady Da. Please be generous enough to inform the nurses of my wound, will you?"
Da looked at beseechingly for a fleeting moment, although it seemed like an hour, before slowly turning away. As the tears kept rolling down her face, she began walking back to the curtains, fighting the impulse to turn and run into Ce's arms, and sob into them, all the while confessing her love, the truth, and how sorry she was.
She was almost at the curtains when Ce spoke again.
"We never had anything, Da Qiao. And we never will."
Da clapped her hand to her mouth to stifle her cry of anguish. Without another word or action, she thrust aside the curtain and ran out of the room before reaching her chambers and breaking down on her bed for hours.
Shang Xiang stood by Sun Quan's door, still wondering how she should enter. Should she knock? Lightly tap? Clear her throat? Or just barge in the way she used to do when she was younger, the way he still did to her now?
As she silently pondered these different methods of going in, arguing with herself over which approach would be the best, she was suddenly able to catch a distinct noise coming from inside the room. What was it? Upon pressing her ear to the door for closer inspection, she discovered that it was slightly ajar- Quan hadn't shut his door at all. Moving closer to the open crack in the door, Shang Xiang could now hear the unmistakeable sound of... sobs.
What?
Could Quan be crying?
Perturbed, Shang Xiang slowly pushed open the door and entered the room, frightened of what she might behold within. Everything in Quan's room seemed to be in order, except for Quan himself, who was standing before the window, his back turned to her.
"Quan?" Shang Xiang inquired timidly. "Quan, are you all-"
Quan whipped around to face her, and to her horror, Shang Xiang saw that Quan's face was swollen and blotchy, with tears soaking up the front of his robes.
Shang Xiang exclaimed out aloud at the sight of her brother.
"Quan-!"
"Shang Xiang!" Quan blurted out as he stumbled toward her and caught her face in his hands. Shang Xiang was aghast at this. This was not what she had been expecting. Where was her normally collected, indifferent brother?
"Oh, Shang Xiang! What if something had happened to you, too?"
With that, he dissolved into tears, still holding onto her for dear life.
Shang Xiang's heart melted completely in about three seconds. It took two disasters for it to happen. Two terrible events to transpire. But at least now,after all this time, Shang Xiang knew that her second brother truly loved her.
"Quan," was all she could say thickly, before throwing her arms around him and giving in to tears herself. Together, they sank to their knees, and for the first time in years, the brother and sister found all the comfort they needed in each other's embrace. Even though they had no one else, they made do fine with just each other.
"It's alright, Quan," Shang Xiang managed to sob. "I'm here now. Everything's going to be fine, you'll see. Ce's going to come back alright, and Daddy will get better. Don't you worry about a thing."
"It's all-" Quan choked out, "It's all my fault... all my fault, Shang Xiang. If we lose our family... you'll only have me to blame!"
"What are you talking about?" she breathed. "You didn't do anything! Stop blaming yourself-"
"No," he insisted, his voice suddenly urgent. He took her face in his hands again and made her look into his tear-filled blue eyes. "I've done... something terrible. I really have."
Shang Xiang stared up at him, struck with fear as she saw he was telling the truth.
"What?" she whispered. "What did you do?"
Quan fought to keep from breaking down.
"A year ago. I was the one... who made Father send The Two Qiaos home, Shang Xiang."
Shang Xiang looked confused.
"What's that got to do with Ce being hurt?"
Agony flashed across Sun Quan's face.
"Everything," he whispered.
It was probably almost sundown, Da didn't know or care. All she knew was that she'd been sprawled across her bed, crying, for about four hours or so. What did it matter, anyway. All was lost. Ce didn't trust her. He no longer loved her. He never would again. Now her life had no meaning, and all she wanted was to get all the years ahead of her over with. Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing ever would. Still, she took comfort in one thing. Ce could have died that night. The fact that he didn't at least filled her soul with ease. Whether he hated her or not, it wouldn't change how thankful she was that his life was spared. Now, as long as he returned back to Wu and continued living his life, it would give her enough strength to continue living hers.
But what's the point of living without Ce?
Da had to work to keep from breaking down again. It didn't matter, she told herself again. Ce would be happy. And as long as he was happy, so was she. He could have all the happiness she never would... marry someone he loved, be with her forever, have children...
The thought of his happiness made her glad that he could achieve it, but the notion of him finding it with anyone else filled her with a grief she didn't know she was capable of feeling. The impact of it was too much for her to restrain, and she gave in to floods of tears again.
She lay that way for a while, too miserable to notice anything but her sorrow at losing Ce forever.
When she quietened down a little, she became duly aware of the clip-clopping sound of a galloping horse's hooves approaching the palace. It must be Cao Pi, returning from his hunting trip, she realized. Not that she cared, of course. She was simply well-versed in the following procedure- the herald would blow his horn, signifying the lord's return, and then announce Cao Pi's arrival to the palace.
She waited a few minutes.
Sure enough, there was the sound of the herald's horn. She waited for him to announce Cao Pi's name. Curiously enough, he didn't. What was taking him? Da wondered. Why didn't he just get on on with it? He'd blown the horn already, hadn't he? So why not announce him?
As Da wondered over the herald's strange behavior, she became aware that there was only one horse who was making its way towards the palace- and rather quickly too. Hadn't Cao Pi left with several of his officials? And Lady Zhen, insisting on being chauffeured in a carriage? So how was there only one rider returning on bareback?
Da sat up, abruptly. Was it even Cao Pi at all?
With a great effort, Da pried herself off the bed, wondering why she'd become so curious as to who was on their way back, and looked through her window.
At first, Da didn't think she could recognize who it was- they were still a little way off from the entrance.
Then, her mouth dropped open as she saw that mare. It dropped even further when she saw the rider.
Could it be?
In less than ten seconds, Da had run out of her chambers.
"Open the gates at once!" Da ordered, ignoring startled protests of "My Lady!" and "Lady Da Qiao!" from the gate guards.
"Did you not hear me? I said at once!" she shouted, never stopping her sprint towards the gates and the rider. She had been running from her chambers and out of the palace doors for several minutes now, not tiring even once, and she wouldn't have been surprised if someone informed her that her pace was faster than that of the approaching horse's.
The guards had no choice but to comply; in a few seconds, the large gates of Xuchang Palace had opened, and in rode the horse and rider, towards Da, who ran even faster to meet them, fresh tears forming in her eyes as she grew closer and closer to them.
The rider stopped his horse at the same moment that Da stopped her feet.
For a whole minute, all the two of them did was stare at each other, Da gazing upon the rider's silhouette in the sun, a last, glowing, beautiful beacon of hope.
Then, she took a step forward, causing the mare, who caught her scent, to rear into the air in delight. The rider had been prepared for this, and dismounted gracefully, landing several feet before Da.
He cast her in his tall, protective shadow, and even in the evening sun, Da discerned a loving, soothing smile on his face as he beheld her standing there.
Her tears of joy finally escaped her eyes as she witnessed him walking towards her, and her hand flew to her already partially-mended heart.
"Yu," Da whispered, all the pent up love and affection she had for her beloved boy contained within his name.
Zhou Yu reached the dear, sweet girl who'd run without stopping to greet him, and still had a smile on her face for him to see. The first thing he did was wipe the tears from her cheeks, and rested his hand upon her head.
The amber-brown eyes met the bright green.
"Please forgive me, my sister. I would have arrived moons ago if I'd only known how much you needed me."
The sound of his voice, and the warmth and protectiveness Yu felt for her which echoed within it, comforted Da beyond words could express.
"Oh, Yu," she breathed, more happy tears clouding her vision, before being tenderly swept into her brother's arms and clasping him to her as though she'd never let him go.
Yu was here. Yu was with her. Yu was going to make everything better.
All was not lost yet. All was not over. Mere minutes ago, she could see no more point in living. But now, with Zhou Yu by her side, she was given enough strength to keep daring to hope, to keep daring to dream for her and her undying love.
"I knew you'd come to me."
For those who were wondering, you've just read the longest chapter of this 5-year-old story! Pretty impressive, if I do say so myself! Well, it's the least I could do after my over-a-whole-year-long hiatus! I guess all I can say now is please remember to review, and leave your feedback. I hope you liked this chapter! I tried to make as many things happen in it as I could- things I was even saving for later chapters. Hopefully, this chapter satisfied you guys enough to forgive me, and to keep reviewing!
So, belated Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it, a very Happy New Year in advance, in case I miss it (which I probably will hehehe) and see you all in 2012! Please do remember to tell me your initial- and final reactions to this chapter! Also, I don't know if any of you noticed, but this chapter was written mostly from the POV of women. Hmm, I wonder why I did that... I guess it was a subconscious thing, lol. But enough of that... I hope you all enjoyed this long, tedious read!
Thank you all :).