Glitter and Gold
Chapter 44
34 ABY – Yavin 4
When Kes Dameron opened his door early that morning, he surely hadn't expected five people to be on his doorstep. Not even with his son amongst them. With Han Solo, Chewbacca and two people he didn't know.
"Is it time? Are you here for Ani?" Kes questioned. Poe nodded, face drawn and tight. "Come in then, come on in!" he called, stepping out of the way to allow the group entry.
"Guys, this is my father, Kes. He's been sheltering Anakin and Ayla'Lyn." Poe introduced. "Dad, you know Han and Chewbacca. That's Ben, Anakin's father."
Kes nodded genially to them all, eyes focusing on Rey. "That must mean you're Vex. I've heard much about you," he greeted, offering her his hand.
"Dad," Poe said in chagrin. "That's not Vex,"
"I'm Rey. Ben's friend," the young woman said, expression pained.
Kes turned back to his son. "Where's Vex?" he questioned, brows drawing down in concern.
"It's a long story, Dad. I'll explain later," Poe grumbled.
"Where is my son?" Ben questioned, his patience beginning to fade.
"Upstairs," Kes said in surprise. "Ayla'Lyn just took him up to get dressed,"
Poe started towards the stairs. All five people started after him. He paused. "Only Ben should come up," he said, glancing at the man a step behind him.
"Why?" Han questioned.
"Because Ani's two. Too many people all at once will just overwhelm him," Poe explained.
The nervousness returned to Ben's features. He turned to Rey. She smiled reassuringly. "Ben, you love him and you're going to take care of him. That's all that matters," she promised.
"She's right," Han told his son, nodding encouragingly. Chewbacca growled in agreement.
Ben turned back to Poe, looking somewhat appeased. "Vex trusts you. She wants you to be with Anakin." Poe told him, even if the words burned on the way up his throat.
Ben nodded in response, expression steeling. The two men continued up the stairs. The door to Anakin's room was ajar. They could hear Anakin's little voice as he chattered on to Ayla'Lyn. The two men appeared in the doorway, startling the Twi'lek woman.
She turned the little boy bodily to face them. Ben greedily took in the visage of his son. Short, messy black curls, like his. His own brown eyes warmly reflected in his son. Vex's features – sharp cheekbones and a softly sloping nose, along with her tanned complexion.
Poe approached, crouching down in front of the little boy. "I'm Poe, your mama's friend. Do you remember me, Ani?" he asked gently.
Anakin nodded hesitantly. "Mama here?" he asked hopefully.
Poe's jaw worked. He glanced back to Ben. He was frozen in place, eyes never leaving his son. "No. But we're going to bring you to her, would you like that?" Poe told the little boy instead.
Anakin nodded wildly, tottering over to Poe and resting a chubby hand on his knee. "Do you remember the stories Mama told you about your Dad?" he asked. There was a shift in movement behind him. Poe could feel Ben's gaze burning into his back. "A Jedi Knight, just like Mama, remember?"
Anakin nodded again. "Dada," he echoed quietly, little brows furrowed in thought.
Poe nodded. "That's your Dada, Ani," he said, pointing back to Ben. "He was gone for a long time, but he's here now. He's going to help Mama take care of you," Poe explained. Ben and Anakin stared at each other for a long time before Ben took a slow step into the room.
That seemed to be all the prompting Anakin needed. The two-year-old tottered over to his father, arms raised as if asking to be picked up. Ben hesitated for a long moment before reaching down and picking up the toddler beneath the arms. It was another long considering moment before he brought Anakin close, allowing his son to wrap his arms around his neck and legs around his middle.
Ben felt the tears beginning to build in the back of his eyes. He turned and buried his face in Anakin's soft, shaggy hair and held him close.
In the midst of this touching moment, Poe got back to his feet. Ayla'Lyn came to his side, resting a hand on his shoulder. "Where's Vex?" she questioned.
"Snoke is dead." Poe told her. "Vex took his place. She's the Supreme Leader," he said bitterly.
"What?"
"It wasn't like that," Ben said gruffly, turning to look at them. "He'd named her his heir. We knew she'd be accepted. That she could end it all. Destroy the whole First Order," he tried to explain.
Poe turned away, rubbing his eyes tiredly. Ayla'Lyn squeezed his shoulder. "I know it's not right," Ben continued softly. "But it's what Vex decided. I trust her judgment."
"I don't question that," Poe said lowly. "It's that she has to do it alone,"
Ben sighed. "That was her decision, too. I told her I'd stay. That I wouldn't leave her. She insisted. I do what she says, just like you do, Dameron,"
"I'm not trying to place blame. I'm just…worried sick about her," Poe muttered.
"She's the strongest person I know-"
"I don't want her to have to be strong! I want her to be safe!" Poe snapped.
Anakin flinched in his father's arms at the other man's tone. Ben pulled him closer, smoothing a comforting hand down the boy's back. "You'll watch your tone around my son," he warned, lifting angry eyes to meet Poe's.
Without another word, without another glance, Ben turned and left the room, his footsteps on the stairs signaling his descent. Ayla'Lyn patted Poe's shoulder reassuringly before following after her charge.
Unable to help his own pettiness, Poe dragged a hand across his face. "Vex's son," he muttered to himself.
The Vexation
When Phasma arrived at the strategy meeting the next morning, she'd expected the Supreme Leader to be there. Vex. But her place of honor at the table was empty.
The room was full of simpering and ass-kissing command officers just like General Hux. Unmasked Killtroopers with identical faces lined the walls of the conference room, adding to the room's nervous energy.
A not so subtle display of power, she thought. "Where is the Supreme Leader?" Phasma questioned.
"She has not arrived yet," Hux said with a frown.
A hush fell over the room before her. Phasma turned to see one of the Killtroopers had entered. His black Killtrooper armor had been replaced with slate grey version of the command officers' black uniform.
He was of the same Prime clone as the other Killtroopers. He looked to be around forty, but with the way clones aged, it was difficult to be sure.
"Who are you?" Hux asked.
"I am CN-2948 and I have been authorized to act as the Supreme Leader's proxy as her second-in-command," he stated, expression stern.
She knew that name. Vex had mentioned it to her just the night before. The man Phasma was supposed to share her command with. "Where is she?" Phasma questioned.
"The Supreme Leader is none of your concern," CN-2948 said curtly without looking at her.
The Millennium Falcon
Ben Solo couldn't take his eyes off his son. Anakin. A beautiful dark-haired smiling boy of two that lay sleeping in the Falcon's bunk. A boy who smiled up at him with such unguarded love despite knowing him all of six hours.
Ben sat on the edge of said bunk, unable to stray any farther from his son. He reached over to tuck a curl behind Anakin's ear, his fingers hesitating in the air for but a moment before he completed the motion.
"How does it feel to be a father?" Han asked behind him.
"I've been a father for two years." Ben said quietly.
"You're right," Han acknowledged softly. "But this is the first time you've seen Anakin. Been able to be a father to him. So tell me, how does it feel?" he questioned.
Ben sighed, reluctantly tearing his eyes away from his son. "Good. But you already knew that," he answered curtly.
Han nodded, expression patient. Far more patient than he usually was. "I saw the look on your face when you brought him down the stairs. It was a look I haven't seen on your face since you were a kid," he said.
Interest piqued, Ben turned. "What look?" he asked.
Han met his eyes. "Peace." The considering expression on Ben's face faded, lips thinning to a frown. He turned away, back to his son. "What?" Han questioned.
"I can't be at peace." Ben said quietly.
"Why not?" Han questioned, patience beginning to leave him. "You deserve it."
"Not without Vex,"
Han took a breath, dragging a hand down his face. "She's safe, isn't she? She's the Supreme Leader – who would cross her?" he asked.
"It's a viper nest," Ben muttered. "Unless she's ruthless, they'll turn on her,"
"But she's a Jedi. They couldn't hurt her,"
"We're not invincible, Han. We can tire and be caught off guard just like everyone else." Ben said in a tired tone.
"You think that'll happen to her?"
"I don't know," he admitted.
Han leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "What is she to you, Ben? I mean, I know you two were involved at some point, and you created this beautiful boy together," he began in a questioning tone. "But I've heard she's with Poe now. And you and Rey -"
Ben's eyes found his, silencing him abruptly. "Vex is my best friend. My partner. I love her," he admitted quietly.
"But she's moved on with Poe," Han pointed out.
"He makes her happy. Helps her be light. And I'm ready to move on, too," Ben offered as if that were all the explanation he needed. His eyes cut past Han, towards the cockpit where Rey perched with Poe and Chewie.
"Vex told Rey that she was your future," Han said quietly. A thoughtfulness returned to Ben's features.
"Maybe,"
The Vexation
Something had changed since yesterday.
Yesterday, there had been three Killtroopers stationed outside Vex's quarters. Today, there were six. All looking grim.
"I'd like to see Lady Vex," Phasma requested, eyeing them curiously.
"The Supreme Leader is indisposed. She wishes for no visitors," the unit's commander told her.
A shot of uncertainty went through her. Something told Phasma she needed to see her. Worry, perhaps. It was an unfamiliar feeling for her – she hadn't worried for anyone in years. "You're not women." Phasma said with a sigh. "When a woman says no visitors, she wants them."
The Killtroopers appeared unconvinced. "Not Vex. She says what she means," the commander told her.
True, Phasma acknowledged. "Will you just ask her if she'll see me?" she requested.
The man sighed, glancing at the others before pressing his commlink. "Lady Vex, Captain Phasma has requested an audience with you."
"Thank you."
He tilted his head after a moment when a response came. "Lady Vex does not wish to be disturbed." he informed Phasma, not looking entirely pleased.
"Tell her I wish to ascertain if she's well. I expected to see her this morning,"
The Killtrooper sighed again, relaying the message. The answer came just a moment later. "You may enter," he said, stepping aside. One of the others opened the door.
"Thank you," Phasma said uncertainly, stepping through. There were three Killtroopers guarding the antechamber and open doorway.
"This door stays open," one of them warned her.
"Alright?" she acknowledged in a questioning tone, stepping through the doorway.
At first glance, the room was empty. Chaotic. Sheets ripped from the bed, clothes thrown around the room, a chest cleaved in half. But then she saw the unmistakable head of burgundy hair, just peeking out from the other side of the bed.
Phasma rounded the bed and found her lady sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed. Vex's eyes were unfocused, staring out in the distance. Her arms lay limply at her sides, wrapped in white gauze. Phasma could see blood staining the white fabric where multiple cuts had bled through.
"Phasma," her voice was weak and tinny. "I didn't want you to see me like this," Vex said, delicate fingers brushing a cut on her brow.
"What happened?" Phasma questioned incredulously. "Who did this?" she bent down, taking Vex's arm gently.
Vex didn't answer. She shifted her gaze back to the floor, gnawing on her lip. After a moment, she winced, remembering the cut that split her lip.
The conclusion struck Phasma like a physical blow. She dropped Vex's arm, reeling back in shock. "You did this. Why?"
She tensed. "You couldn't understand,"
Phasma sank awkwardly to sit beside her, leaving plenty of space between the two. "Try me. You said you wanted to trust me,"
Vex flashed her a furtive glance, scratching at her bandages before Phasma carefully batted her hand away.
"I swear upon my own life that you can trust me. My word is my bond, I do not break it,"
"I know," Vex murmured. "You want my confidence. Shall you give me yours?"
"If that is your wish."
Vex exhaled slowly. "I had a nightmare. I was screaming, apparently. My Killtroopers came in, they tried to wake me,"
"And it didn't go well." Phasma interjected.
"No," she uttered. "I thought I was still in the dream. That I was being attacked. I attacked them – they had to restrain me," she fluttered a hand towards her face, towards the small smattering of wounds on her face. "Luckily, none of them were seriously harmed. But there was quite a mess, as you can see,"
"And your arms?"
Vex looked down, fingers tracing lightly over the bandages. "This isn't my body," she whispered.
"What?" Phasma questioned.
"He took away everything that made it mine." Vex said in a small but fierce tone, staring at her lap.
"Creel." she concluded, voice cracking. "He raped you." Vex nodded, not lifting her gaze from her lap. "What else did he take from you?" she asked, anger burning through.
"My skin," Vex murmured.
"Skin?" Phasma questioned, blood draining from her face.
"He made the doctors perform a procedure on me to remove my scars," she began, crossing her arms carefully over her chest. "I had many. But they were mine. Part of me."
"I can imagine."
"The procedure required skinning me. Then grafting new skin in its place. Perfect skin. Without scar or blemish."
A long silence followed, neither knowing what to say. Phasma tugged off a glove, tentatively reaching out a hand and resting it on Vex's shoulder. She could feel the younger woman flinch under her hand, but she didn't draw away.
"This didn't feel like my body anymore," Vex said finally.
"So you tried to make it yours again,"
Vex nodded. "My men interceded. Treated me. Now they won't leave me alone," she whispered, glancing back towards the open doorway.
"So you won't harm yourself again," Vex nodded again. "You need help, Vex. Who could help you?" Phasma asked.
Vex looked back to her lap, playing with her fingers. "Poe. I need Poe." she whispered.
"I'll make for the control room, have them set course for Crait. We can be there by this time tomorrow," Phasma said, rising to her feet.
Vex didn't move. "Thank you," she said quietly.
"Then I'll be back. I'm not leaving you alone."
"I'm not alone." Vex said, gesturing with her chin back to her guardians in the antechamber.
Phasma shrugged. "Women are stronger together."
Review, Please.
Thanks to my reviewer last chapter - Mstngsali1!
Right now, I'm thinking we will end this story at Chapter 50, including an epilogue! I'm pacing the story out today, and then we'll start wrapping everything up!
Much love, Suz Singer.