AN: Warning, this chapter contains references of rape and torture. See you afterwards

Chapter 8

Revenge

Royal, Eleanor, Jessamine, and Earnest all returned from their hunt about noon. It still surprised me just how different all of their eyes were even after they were fully fed. Jessamine's still held the faintest tint of ruby in the edges of her gold, while Eleanor's had just a slight remnant of brown. Earnest's were almost as pure of a gold as Edythe's were while Royal… I didn't know how to describe his.

Royal's eyes were always the most confusing. On one hand, there were times where a tint of deep blue was there, while at others they held the faintest crimson that could rival the shade of a newborn. And there were still other times when, even though he had just hunted, his eyes held a slight hint of being as black as the darkest night in the middle of nowhere. Today, his eyes held a slight red in them, but it wasn't like the he sometimes showed, nor was it like Jessamine's. It was a soft red, mixed in with the gold that identified all of us as vegetarian vampires.

All but Royal had ran back to the house as soon as the garage door closed. Their eyes were beautiful, even if they all still were a little mysterious. I could see in all of their eyes, but Jessamine who was the most so, were concerned what we would be doing tonight. Working alongside the Quileute wolves would be a nerve racking proposition, but since Tanya's coven had refused to help us due to Carine's refusal to let Ivan take revenge on the wolves. Apparently, there had been a blooming relationship between Lauren and Ivan and he demanded vengeance against the wolves for killing her. Carine had tried to explain to our Alaskan cousins that she was there to kill humans on the wolves' territory and they were justified in defending it in whatever means they deemed necessary. All of the Denalis eventually accepted our matriarch's decision, but Ivan would not be deterred. He would seek his retribution if he had to wait forever for it.

When we warned Jules about Ivan's anger towards them, she laughed it off like always. "Sheeze, what's one more bloodsucker out there trying to kill us?" she laughed at the prospect a couple of days ago when Carine tried to warn her.

"It's your neck," Jessamine said coldly in response. She explained to me later after Julie and her friends had left that there would be tactical advantages to the alliance that we had formed with the Quileutes, but it would still be difficult for the two sides to fully cooperate. We would have to talk strategy at some point, but Jessamine was adamant that the safest way for all would be for our two sides to split up and fight separately. This would allow us to focus on the newborns that we would be engaging, while the wolves would do the same. Neither side would need to worry about watching their backs from a supposed ally.

Five minutes after the three returned and Royal still hadn't come inside, so I asked Eleanor, "Where's Roy?"

"Out tinkering with Jess's truck," she laughed. "I swear she won't stop until it's as fast as the Vanquish."

I laughed in reply. Royal was a great mechanic and fiddling with the Cullen's impressive stable of vehicles was one of his favorite pastimes. I had caught him and Edythe scouring the internet a week ago looking for a new car for me. I tried to tell them that I didn't need one. I was still getting used to my new self and didn't want to take any chances being around humans unsupervised yet. I had to admit that the bonfire a couple a weeks ago would have been a huge gamble, but I would have been surrounded by Julie and her friends. I thought because of them, I would have been able to control myself. But there was a new car in the garage covered by a blue tarp. I knew it was meant for me as soon as I was ready for them to spring it on me.

I needed Royal, so I decided I should go out there and see if I could give him any help. It was silly since I didn't know what any of the tools were and unless he needed someone to lift the truck, I'd be absolutely useless. Charlie used to joke that I didn't know the difference between a philips and flathead screwdriver, but I needed to talk to Royal anyway.

"What is it Beau?" Royal sighed as I opened the door to the garage.

"I just thought we could talk for a little bit," I said hoping that if I didn't impose too much that he at least let me sit there and watch. Maybe through some awkward silence I'd get the nerve to ask him more about how mourning works for our kind. I remembered what he said before; that dealing with loss was a lot like it was when I was human. That time would be the biggest asset in dealing with the grief of losing those I cared about. But it had been too much; not only learning within the last month of the disappearance of Phil and my mom but also my dad being killed, presumably by one of the newborns in Seattle.

I thought that to begin the conversation it would take a while, maybe even an hour but within a minute or two Royal looked at me expectantly, inviting me to ask him whatever was on my mind. I remained silent, not wanting to impose too much.

"Beau how much do you know about me? I mean my ascension to immortality?" Royal asked, his soft tenor as gentle as I had ever heard it.

"Not much," I had to admit. Royal was always the most guarded around me. I always assumed that it was just him trying to keep me from overreacting since I was new.

He looked up from under the hood of Jessamine's truck, a black Ford SVT Lightning. His look was as soft as I'd ever seen from him, which seemed off. Normally he just scowled at or avoided me. "I haven't been fair to you. I just think it's time for me to tell you why."

I tried to pass it off. "It's no big deal. I get it," I lied. Apparently he saw right through it.

As I was in the past, I was still a horrible liar. Royal saw that I was lying even though certain bodily functions no longer betrayed me. "You deserve to know Beau," he said softly. "You need to know why I thought that you should have stayed human. Why I wanted you to stay as far away from Edythe as possible. You deserve to know why, when you learned that we were different from everyone else in Forks, why I wanted to see you silenced permanently. Because," Royal had issues going further.

"I know," I said looking down. "You were jealous of me because you were supposed to be Edythe's mate. I get it." I wasn't sure if that was the real reason or not, but it seemed as plausible as any other.

Royal snarled, lifting his upper lip to flash his teeth to me. I was terrified; he actually looked like a vampire. I locked down in a slight defensive crouch. His snarl morphed mid-way through into words. "Beau shut up for a minute and let me think!" He gently rubbed his temples, which put a small smudge of grease on his forehead. Despite the perfection he normally showed outside the house, this look fit him. It looked like he liked working with his hands. He took a deep breath and started again, "Because I saw early on where this was probably going to lead and," he thought for a second and made his choice, "it was here."

I gasped. Apparently he was more certain in my future than I had been; maybe anyone had been except for Archie. "You thought I'd be a vampire?" I asked completely shocked.

He rolled his eyes, looking equal parts guilty and annoyed. "I did. But there are just so many things that you give up for this damned half-life. Things you wouldn't even think you wanted right now but that you might want in the future."

"Yeah," I said trying to not only think of everything that I had lost, but almost more important, where he was trying to lead me. It sucked not being able to still go to school with some of my old friends, especially Allen. It was just so easy to be myself around him, which was probably why I liked Archie so much, but for opposite reasons. Archie was a huge chatterbox, while Allen was just as comfortable letting time pass in silence or listening to someone else as he was talking himself. But that was only a small part of what I had lost. I was sure he was talking about my parents more than just my friends.

He let a minute pass to let me think about what he said before he said, "You know your record is as clean as anyone's here. As far as I know, I'm second."

"Second?" I asked surprised. I couldn't picture Earnest knowingly killing someone, even though I knew he did in the past. The same with Archie; there was just something so inherently beyond good in him.

"Behind Carine, of course. Carine's record is completely spotless, better than that even because she still helps humans live longer and better lives because of what she is. But Earnest has killed hundreds. He couldn't help himself, and we don't blame him. Anytime he saw someone abusing their child, his rage would erupt. In fact, that's still the quickest way that any of us can make a big mistake, our temper getting the better of us."

"Did you know that I'm kinda," he started but I could tell he wanted to walk back what he was saying.

"What did you mean that your record is almost as clean?" I asked.

He thought for a minute, making his choice. He was going to tell me his whole story I could see. "I did kill five humans," he admitted, "if they deserve to be called that. Four men and… well one woman. My fiancée. She had me killed… well beaten to near death by her real lover. I was just something to make her father proud of her for.

"Her real lover was a made man. I mean made as in organized crime. He was a member of what today are known as one of the five families but he was just a street man. Not anything higher than that. But I was walking home from my friend Vincent's house. He became a tradesman; a carpenter actually. I guess that's where the liking to work with my hands came from. We frequently tinkered together on anything we could get our hands on. Not that my parents would have even let me consider such an occupation. My father insisted I go into business. That's where my fiancée came in.

"I met Rowena King by chance, at least I thought so at first, when my father forgot his lunch and my mother asked me to take it to him. He worked at the King's bank in Rochester. Their family was all but royalty, as they owned almost anything of value in the city since the depression. I was instantly smitten with her since our first meeting. She was physically stunning, a real beauty to be coveted and I was someone who her parents would approve of. Our courtship was fast and very public and within a few weeks of us knowing each other, we were engaged. Plans were made for the most lavish wedding imaginable, only fitting of a King.

"During our engagement, Vincent, whom I first met while the two of us were in grammar school. He was someone whom my parents absolutely hated, and then he married his sweetheart; a girl we both knew who was a year behind us in school. They married just after Vincent began his apprenticeship as a carpenter. It was a fitting trade for him because the two of us would often tinker with things. Maybe that's why I'm so interested in auto repair," he laughed.

"Not long after that, Vincent's wife was pregnant. Rowena and my engagement was unusually long for that time, but a royal wedding, no pun intended, took time to prepare. Less than a year after Vincent was married, he had a daughter- a beautiful baby girl. It hurts me that I don't remember what her name was. I didn't realize until then exactly how jealous I was of him until then. Here he was with everything I could have every possibly wanted and Rowena and I were nothing like the two of them. In fact, I could never get Rowena to even discuss plans for the future with me.

"It was early April of 1933, and I was visiting the two of them, finalizing plans for my wedding. Initially, Vincent was to be my best man but Rowena threatened to cut off our engagement if I didn't replace him. I was hurt and so was Vincent, but I did. I loved Rowena and thought, foolishly I know now, that she loved me. I agreed, and gained a concession from her that allowed Vincent to remain in my bridal party as a groomsman. I ended up replacing Vincent with one of my other friends, who was of a higher social status than Vincent and that seemed to appease her. That night I learned just how wrong I was.

"As I saw how in love Vincent and his wife were now that they had started their family, I wondered why Rowena didn't seem to be the same way with me. When the two of them kissed it seemed very genuine but when Rowena kissed me it was almost like she was acting. She never kissed me when we were alone, only when we were in public and usually in the presence of her parents. It made me long for the kind of relationship that the two of them had. I said my goodbyes to Vincent and his wife shortly after it had grown dark.

"That night was unusually chilly for early April and I panicked that our wedding might have to be moved indoors. That would have upset me since I always knew the wedding I wanted to be huge and held outside. Like I said before, at that time I was really shallow. Due to the chill, I thought about calling for a taxi but it wasn't that long of walk. I was about half way home when I noticed a group of men huddled in an alley. Drunk, I assumed. But then I saw a woman with them and I recognized the coat she was wearing.

'Rowena?' I asked, trying to find an explanation of what she was doing with this group of what I could only describe as vagabonds.

'Mind your own business,' one of the men snapped back at me.

"I reached out to try and take my fiancée by the hand but she pulled away from me. 'Oh, if it isn't my worthless fiancé, using me to climb the social ladder.'

'This loser?' The man who had his arm wrapped around her waist asked.

"I was enraged. No one would touch my fiancée in such a matter. 'Remove your hand from the lady!'

'Lady?' One of them asked. 'Pal, you obviously don't know who you're talking to. You better leave before you get hurt.'

'I suggest you leave or I'll go and call for the constable,' but they were undeterred by the threat. It appeared that they didn't fear the police.

"I heard a faint laugh from one of the men in the back. Was it of the police or of me using them to fight my battles? Either way, I'd show them.

"I sometimes wonder if I had taken that cab on that night how different my life would have been. Would I have learned about my fiancée's, soon to be wife's, extracurricular activities? Would I have ever met her real lover? Would he have had me beaten or even killed like he did, or should I say tried to?"

Edythe's words from the first day in this house came front and center again when she told me about Carine's history. "I often wonder," she said, "if her father hadn't shown the monster what he loved most in the world, would all of our stories turned out differently?"

"Tried to?" I asked, interrupting his story. He didn't look upset like Edythe did when I interrupted her when she told me Carine's story.

"They beat me very bad that night, and even violated me with one of the liquor bottles they were drinking from, even Rowena took a turn with that." He frowned from what I could only assume was remembering the pain. "Raping a man can be a very emasculating experience," he added and it looked like tears were coming from his eyes, "and they even castrated me. After they finished beating me, they left me for dead in the alley. I tried to let the pain have me, just wishing for death to come quickly. But I heard Rowena speculate that she'd have to find someone who wasn't as stupid next time. That infuriated me. She just watched me be beaten to death, even participated in it and here she was focusing on her next public love? I prayed right then that if there was any God in the world that he would strike her down painfully, hopefully letting the whole world know exactly how big of a fraud she was.

"They all left soon after that, leaving me to die in the gutter. There wasn't an inch of me that didn't hurt. But then, the softest voice I had ever heard told me that everything would be alright. That she'd take the best care of me that anyone could.

"I thought I was dead, in the arms of an angel on the way to heaven from the speed I was moving at, despite how cold those arms were. Now, of course, I know that it was Carine taking me where she could change me in privacy. When she bit me, it stung at first, but it was so faint that it couldn't compare to my other injuries. I remember several bites. But eventually the fire of the venom burned much hotter than everything else hurt. I screamed; I just couldn't help it and I even think I cursed Carine for doing what she did to me. But through the fire, she slowly explained what she was; what her whole family was and everything made sense to me.

"I resented the Cullens when I first met them, especially Edythe who was posing as Earnest's younger sister at the time. I was used to having women beg for my attention, but never did Edythe express an ounce of interest at all. I hate to admit it that I was shallow enough that it bothered me. If you'll excuse the expression, I was used to having to beat girls back with a stick and normally had my pick of whom I courted. But still, here was this absolutely gorgeous girl who didn't want anything to do with me.

But it was Earnest that I was the most jealous of. He was absolutely stunning. I was no slouch," he said with a longing smile, "in the looks department when I was human, but he could make me look completely average. Like I said, I was really shallow.

"Carine sat with me for those three days of torture and eventually what she said made sense as I no longer hurt. I felt the strength increase in me and vowed that day that those who hurt me would live to regret it. Naturally, Carine being adverse to the loss of human life pleaded with me to let bygones be, but I couldn't forgive them.

"A day after my rebirth, Earnest and Edythe returned from their hunting trip. Edythe all but cursed Carine for changing me. 'What were you thinking Carine?' She shrieked at her mother. 'Royal Hale?' Her voice was full of acid and her tone burned me even more than the venom. 'He's a little high profile, don't you think? Not that anyone suspects those thugs. His family and the Kings will have to put up a reward.'

'I couldn't just let him die,' Carine answered her voice like velvet. 'It was too much waste.'

"Earnest surprisingly took my side. 'Nonsense Carine. You did the right thing and it will all work out.' I was surprised how gentle his voice was since Earnest almost never appeared in public.

'What will he become?' Edythe snapped at Carine. I nearly hissed at her, even though enough time hadn't passed since I fully awoke from the transformation to understand what she was asking.

"Carine was completely sincere. 'That's up to him, of course. He might want to go off on his own after all.'

"I was terrified of being by myself. Everything felt so strange now. I mean, I didn't feel any pain anymore, other than in my heart which was oddly loud. But that Carine explained everything so I knew that the pain was almost over. But I didn't want to be by myself.

'You've got to be kidding me!' Edythe screamed at Carine.

"I bolted upright, the fire in my chest gone and my heart now silent. I was acting purely on instinct and crouched defensively in front of Carine and started snarling at Edythe.

"The next day, I found out what had set Edythe off. Carine had been thinking about how she pictured me and that was as Edythe's mate. But that wasn't even the remotest possibility since she annoyed me from the first time I met her when I was human. I learned to love her as a sister, but there were never any deeper feeling than that."

"But you said that your record was almost as clean as Carine?" I asked trying to figure out why he would be only almost perfect.

Royal sighed and then, "It wasn't exactly my finest hour Beau. But revenge is something that can consume even the best of us." He looked like he wouldn't explain any more but after a couple of deep breaths, "like I said, I did kill five humans but I was very careful not to drink their blood. But still, to torture them appropriately, it took every ounce of control I could muster.

"I took my time, slowly. Deliberately staring with the least culpable, hoping that word would reach Rowena and her lover; hoping that their sense of impending doom might make my revenge even more filling. I also wanted them for last so that I would be able to take my time; make the two who were most responsible suffer even more. Experience even more agony than I did enduring first the retaliatory beating I would inflict, then the venom's fire.

"The boy I started with had hurt me the least that night. I think he only hit me a couple of times, but never when I was on the ground. I simply made his demise quick but I wouldn't say it was painless. But I got the information I needed through torturing him before mercifully killing him by snapping his neck.

I worked my way up the list of culpability, gradually making my victims suffer more and more depending on their role in my death until about two months after the first one, I was finally ready for Rowena and her lover. I dressed in a black tuxedo, complete with a boutonnière looking like I imagined I would on our wedding day. I was a little theatrical back then. It had to terrify them, to see me alive with the bright crimson eyes and the most sinister smile I could muster."

"Did you?" I asked but couldn't even get the words out

Royal sighed again. "Like I said, it wasn't my finest moment but damned if it didn't feel satisfying."

I don't know what my face did but Royal shook his head.

"No Beau, I didn't kill them like that if that's what you mean. I guess it was kind of similar to what happened to Carine all those centuries ago, and to you in Phoenix as well. I began slowly, letting them take in my new, perfected body before I decided exactly how to strike first.

'You thought you killed me,' I said, making my tone as ominous as I could, 'but you cannot kill that which is undead.' I was overly dramatic, I know. I made Rowena watch at I lifted her lover by the throat as if it was nothing which, with all of my newborn strength, it wasn't.

"I started slowly, snapping his femurs with my feet first by gradually increasing the force I applied until the sickening snap could be heard by both of them. I hate to admit it, but both of their screams were just so enjoyable."

I wasn't exactly sure what my face was doing but I felt absolutely sick to my stomach, remembering how it felt when Joss snapped my leg.

"I'm shouldn't go into so much detail," he said as he put a hand on my shoulder.

"It's cool," I said back. I was more than willing to suffer through any details he would share.

Royal smiled, "I took her lover, and just barely nipped his finger but not before doing to him what they did to me. I used my feet to slowly crush his testicles, wanting him to feel as emasculated as I did. Then I barely nipped his finger. I wanted her to see what had happened to me after they left me for dead. But I wasn't going to let him be completely changed. I just wanted him to suffer until I was ready to finish him. Let him experience a taste of the fires of hell, just in case the real thing doesn't exist.

"Rowena threw herself at me as her lover wailed in pain, nearly knocking herself unconscious from my new stone-like body. She begged me to spare them, but it was too late for that. I had already bitten him, so that wasn't going to happen. He was going to die.

"I hadn't planned on killing her. Killing him would be easy and the responsibility would be passed to a rival crime family so easily since all of Rochester knew he was a made man. Even with the damage I would do to him, brutally beating him before squishing him like the bug he was, no one would have thought anything of it. Just one mafia family taking care of business.

"I wanted her to live with the grief and guilt for the rest of her life but there was one thing I wanted from her more than anything else in the world. Something her lover had experience many times, but I had not because I respected her as a lady. A lady, I laughed, no she was no different than the prostitute down the street and I decided to treat her like the slut she was.

"He was still writhing in agony and Rowena threw herself on me again. She ran her lips all over mine, hoping that this would spare her lover. As I pealed her away, I saw those eyes. The eyes I had fallen in love with all those months ago. And then, all they did was make it so I couldn't control myself. Then she said she loved me.

'Really?' I asked her. 'Really; you love me?' That was the last straw. So I threw her down and had my way with her. I violated her both vaginally and anally, a lot like those men had with me that night. She screamed in pain all night. I didn't stop; I continually raped her over and over again. I was rough. It was impossible for me to control my strength and I heard many times over her bones shattering from my repeated thrusts. Ribs, pelvis, legs, I can't even imaging all of the bones that I shattered on her that night. I didn't know if her screams were from pleasure or pain. I really didn't care. But for me, it felt amazing. I don't know if that was from the pleasure or simply the satisfaction of getting my revenge on her.

"Just before daybreak, I let her watch as I casually dressed myself but left her naked as a jay bird. Calmly I walked over to where her lover lay and slowly pressed down on his chest with my left foot. I don't think he felt it over the fire of then venom, but I slowly increased the force I applied to just over his heart. I didn't stop until I heard it squish.

"I turned to her, her eyes wide with terror and I laughed. 'Thank you,' I said laughing, 'for showing me just how big of a slut you really are.' I thought about just leaving her as she was, broken and crying. It would have been fitting but I couldn't be that cruel. I had been cruel enough that night to both of them so I just simply snapped her neck. I wanted no piece of her inside of me, even if a piece of me had been inside her," he winked and I knew what he meant.

"Things got better when I found Eleanor. She's everything I needed and she just lets me be me. But I still regret never giving her the option; to be a vampire or not. That's why Beau, I don't know if I could have chosen what you did, even though I can understand some of the reasons why."

"Why?" I asked.

Royal examined me with his eyes and then decided to go on. "Because the two of you would have never been able to make physical love Beau. I tried," he said and I could tell there was deep regret in his eyes, "God knows I tried to be gentle with Rowena, but no matter how much I held back, I could never do so enough. The animal inside of me was too much. Not the bloodthirsty one but the lustful one. I just couldn't stop it once I let him loose. Now, in your case with you being the male and her the female, I don't know what it would have been like for you two if you were still human. But that was the big reason that she didn't even want to try and make love to you while you were human. She knew what I had done in the past and didn't want to gamble with your life."

"Whoa!" I gasped.

It was the first time that I ever saw Royal look ashamed. "I scared you, didn't I?"

I shook my head. "Not really. I mean, it makes sense."

"Man I don't understand you at all Beau!" Royal laughed out. "It took me about twenty years to forgive myself for what I did to her. It wasn't that I killed her but the way I violated her, not that she was pure. I am kind of a monster, but I still try to justify it. I don't know if I'll even be able to do that."

"You were wronged," I tried to explain to him, hoping to ease his guilt. "You were entitled to revenge."

"Wow, Edythe is right. The most disturbing things, you're okay with."

"More than anything, I think it's that whole 'judge not lest ye be judged' thing."

"Well, we can always hope."

I let Royal's words sink in. Royal's opinion on our souls was similar to Edythe's even if Carine had softened him a little over the previous few decades. But I was more convinced than ever that it was Carine who indeed was correct. We weren't damned just because of the unfortunate series of events that led to us being made immortal. We still had free will and the choices to be more than the majority of our kind could redeem us. And that would hopefully be enough to convince Edythe of one day.

"But that wasn't the real reason that you needed to know about me Beau," Royal said softy as he sat next to me on the floor. "I've learned firsthand from Jessamine just how much the desire for revenge can overtake us. If we get the chance to let you avenge whoever killed your father, we will. But please, please don't go out looking for it Beau."

I nodded. I remembered from when Renee had been on her religious kick briefly some of the sermons that were preached. The way that God tended to work in his own good time. Since I took Carine's side of the whole 'are we damned or not' debate, I had to believe that this also applied to us. Just maybe the chance for revenge might come to me, but if it didn't I did have a new large family that just might be able to replace what I had lost.

But with Royal's words, it made even more sense why it would be Victor coming after us. Attacking his coven's leader would be something he'd have an issue with letting go. We hadn't wronged the Volturi that much. I was even more confident now; it had to be Victor behind what was going on in Seattle.

AN: So another chapter down. What'd you think? Please let me know; I love all reviews, even the ones who think the story sucks. The only thing I ask is that you give reasons why you think it's bad.

I also want to give a shout out to WinterSunshine for giving me the inspiration to get posting again. She's (I'm guessing here) just began another LD story. Definitely worth checking out.

Next time is more Royal and Beau bonding, followed by Beau beginning to discover how to manipulate his shield.