"Nope! No way it's not happening don't even think about it!" Jace fumed pacing in front of the fireplace.
Magnus was sitting with his hands folded carefully in his lap as he watched the blond shadow hunter, Alec sighed and crossed his arms over his chest and Simon looked ill sitting next to Isabelle on the love seat .
"Jace it isn't like we have a better idea and besides don't you just want this to be over?" Clary reasoned but Jace was past the point of reason. He thrust his hands into his pockets just to take them back out again then kicked at a chair, and ran his hands through his hair obsessively, Magnus looked amused but it was starting to get to Clary.
"Clary of course I want this to be over, I want this over and done with more than you do but we're not using you as bait. I won't let you." He stopped his pacing and sat next to her on the couch taking both of her hands in his, "don't you see that it's too dangerous! Sebastian is and always will been one step ahead of us he probably already has some sort of plan to in case we tried something like this we can't risk it!" Clary felt his hands shaking over hers, and grasped them tightly; he looked at her his eyes pleading and so full of worry that Clary could feel her heart breaking.
"Jace, it's the only plan we have and-"
"God damnit Clary will you just listen to me!" Jace screamed throwing the coffee table into the far wall, "I can't let you do this!" He yelled.
Alec who had about enough of his parabatai's tantrum rushed towards Jace grabbing him by the shoulders and shoving him up against the wall, "Calm down Jace"he said in his "big brother boice" Jace struggled against Alec but the older boy managed to keep him in place. "Let him go" Magnus said his eyes cast to the floor. When Alec didn't Magnus stood up his eyes sparking with anger, "I said let him go Alec". Alec looked at the warlock before begrudgingly letting Jace go, as soon as he was no longer restrained he shoved Alec off of him and stormed out of the room without looking at room was left in awkward silence until Simon added his two cents.
"What the hell crawled up his ass?" Simon asked, earning him a hard smack in the arm from Isabelle. "I'm going to go see if he's alright." Alec said making for the door only to be grabbed by Magnus, "No,no my dear boy this seems more like a couples dispute. I think it would be best if Clary went." He turned his cat eyes on her and tilted his head towards the door, Clary got up, a little uncomfortably since everyone was looking at her, and left to find Jace.
After trial and error she finally found him in the attic throwing a small ball against a wall and catching it when it came back to him. His shirt was hanging loosely off on shoulder and his hair was a tousled mess from him pulling at it and his were dark. "Jace?" He flinched and Clary was surprised he hadn't heard her coming.
"You okay?" He looked up at her, his eyes glassy like he was on the verge of tears, "sorry I was thinking." She hovered near the door not sure what to do, he was still angry with her for agreeing to Magnus' plan and these past few days he's been more emotionally open with her than he'd been since they first met which she loved but it also terrified her. Jace seemed to be unable to control his emotions lately, it wasn't just about the things that worried him his anger was getting out of control too and it was too easy to upset him. Clary looked at Jace, and he hung his head, his eyes fixed on the floor and patted the ground next to him. She walked over and sat cross legged next to him and was about to place a hand on his shoulder when he laid down with his head in her lap.
Clary was shocked at first and sat stock still afraid to move but Jace didn't seem to be too worried and just made himself comfortable and didn't say anything. So Clary did what she always does, she ruffled his hair and ran one hand gently up and down his back while the other played with his hair, they sat in silence for a few minutes just the sound of Jace occasionally clearing his throat.
"Clary" his voice cracked, she looked down at him and saw a single tear streak across his cheek. "Clary I just need you to understand that you can't do this. I was with Sebastian I knew what he thought and what he felt, I knew what he wanted to do to you and I couldn't stop it. I don't want to be in that position again where you're right there, in front of me in pain or worse and there's nothing I can do about it." He paused and took in a deep breath before turning to look her in the eye, "I'd rather die." His voice was filled with such intensity that Clary flinched and stared at him.
Clary felt her heart beat faster and narrowed her eyes at him, "How dare you Jace, don't you ever say anything like that to me again. You think I want to see you hurting just because I make a decision you're not okay with, you think I don't know how you feel? Hell every time you go on a mission when you don't tell anyone where you're going but come back covered in your own blood. You don't think that upsets me? I have been so scared these past few months waiting for Sebastian to come after me or go after you that I can't sleep and I want to burst into tears every time you walk out that door," she took in a shaky breath. "Jace I just don't want to do it anymore." Tears starts spilling down her cheeks and she pinched her eyes shut trying to stop them, then she felt Jace's hand gently stroke her face wiping the tears away.
"Please stay." He whispered. "We do this together or not at all, deal?" She tried for a smile and failed but managed to say between choked sobs, "deal."
"Come here." He said quietly pulling her down to lay next to him, although the floor wasn't the most comfortable place Clary didn't care, all she wanted right now was to be with Jace. "We'll figure it out tomorrow" she said into his chest. "Tomorrow" his whispered in her hair placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head.
Help! There was so much angst in this one I don't even know what's happening I need some ideas guys! Every time I try to write something, things get in the way! Like my physics homework :/ send me some reviews or ideas anything would so appreciated right about now :)