Why am I even doing this… I grumbled to myself as I padded across the moors to go to Fourtrees. Deadfoot had come to me in a dream about some prophecy and sun-drown place and I was not happy.
I would want to dream about rabbits and me becoming a warrior, but nooo, of course I got stuck with some stupid prophecy. I think sourly to myself.
Fourtrees was almost in sight now, the large oaks looming over the Great Rock casting an eerie shadow overhead. I shuddered inwardly, before bracing myself and moving forward.
As soon as I entered, my heart dropped. Out of any of the Thunderclan cats, any, I got stuck with the bossiest and the most annoying.
Yep, that's right, Brambleclaw and Squirrelpaw.
The two were … let's just say infamous for their oh-so wonderful traits.
They gave me disbelieving glances, and turned back to each other. Pricking my ears, I could hear the words 'scrawny' and 'annoying.' I huffed and turned away, trying to ignore the hurt poking at me.
The ferns rustled and a tortoiseshell she-cat stepped out, her green eyes sharp and analyzing. I immediately recognized her as Tawnypelt. She was intelligent, and much more bearable than Brambleclaw, her Thunderclan brother.
I watched as she gave Squirrelpaw a warm greeting, and then when turning to me, her eyes grew slightly darker. I blinked unhappily, ducking my head. You're used to this by now Crowpaw.. I chide myself.
She still called out a greeting, but I was over it by now. I don't need any fake greetings.
The 2 siblings purred with each other, touching noses, before murmuring in hushed voices. I twitched impatiently, waiting for the cat from Riverclan.
Finally 2 cats stepped out, a tom and the she-cat.
The tom was stocky, with dark gray fur and sharp flinty blue eyes that didn't miss anything.
The she-cat was … stunning. Like literally, that's the first word that comes to mind.
Her silver fur seemed to glow in the moonlight, a calming aura wrapping around her slender body. Her blue eyes were soft, and I couldn't tear my gaze away.
Even the other gray cat, who I'm assuming is her brother by their similarities in looks, when he gave me a good look and wrinkled his nose, couldn't make me sour.
It still hurts though, but it's mellowed.
The pretty she-cat met my gaze, and coming to the realization that I was staring, I hastily looked away. Out of the corner of my gaze, I could see her eyes glimmer softly.
"Hello!" She called out tenderly to me.
I jerked, and pulled my head up. "H-hel-lo" I stammered and gentle amusement filtered it's way in on her blue eyes.
"You ok?" She asks, concern evident in her voice, and a flash of warmth burst through me. Someone cares.
"I'm fine," I reassured her, my voice a little bit stronger.
As I watched the she-cat, I couldn't help but think that she was the only one out of this group to not look at me with disappointment or scorn.
The only one.
Everyone that had been chosen had received a sign. Everyone. Except me.
Worry coursed through me and I sighed. The only apprentice. The only one without a sign. The only one that no one gets along with.
I looked up at the night sky, the stars shining down on me. Oh Starclan, you picked the wrong cat. Why?
I'm not cut out for this, and I'm definitely not gonna be able to complete this quest. I had an odd feeling about this from the start, but I pushed it away time and time again. I shouldn't have, and I should have listened to my inner self. No point in regretting everything now though, I can't do much about it now either way.
I laid my head down to sleep, but it never came.
Depressing thoughts filled my head the entire time, and no matter how much I tried to be reassuring, I couldn't lie to myself. It just wouldn't work.
After a long, painful night, the sun finally rose, it's blinding light causing the other cats to wake up.
Brambleclaw, being the mutual leader, asked for the hunting patrols, bright amber gaze scanning the sleep-ridden cats.
"I'll go," I rasped, wincing as my voice cracked.
Brambleclaw frowned, and raked his amber gaze over my messy pelt and sunken eyes.
"Did you sleep at all last night?" I couldn't help but be surprised at his question. Apparently I'm easy to figure out.
I casually ignored his question and dipping my head, padded away. Luckily, I found a couple mice, surprised they hadn't been scared away by all the ruckus the Twolegplace makes.
My catches swinging from my mouth, I padded back, only to find everyone in a tight circle, whispering to each other.
I dropped my mice and took a step towards them, but halted, feeling out of place.
They're probably talking about the sign anyways..
As I stood there quite awkwardly, Feathertail noticed and beckoned me over with her tail, and I couldn't bring myself to say no to her.
I raced over, squeezing into the circle, and found them talking about the signs. Knew it.
I could feel the awkward glances everyone sent me, but I looked away, taking no notice of them, and definitely not giving any reaction.
Stormfur opened his mouth to speak again. "Anyways, like I was saying, we're close to the sun-drown place, I know it. But we're not there." The looks found their way back to me, and I flinched. I get it, I get it, I don't have my sign, stop rubbing it in.
Feathertail shifted closer to me, and I shot her a grateful look. Thanks.
"Hopefully the next step becomes clear soon."Squirrelpaw spoke up, and as her green eyes met my amber ones, I lowered my head. Generally I'm quite headstrong, but they were right. It was my fault.
Feathertail was next to me, and I leaned into her slightly, taking comfort in the only cat that was genuine towards me. She gave a small purr, and leaned right back into me.
"Yeah, but if we get our next sign, we can move forward." It was Brambleclaw this time, and I completely regretted joining this discussion.
The helplessness was overcoming at this point, but suddenly Feathertail spoke up.
"Oh be quiet! All of you!" Her voice, instead of being soft, was as sharp as fangs, and not so quiet anymore. All the cats started, most likely not seeing that coming.
The cats all grew silent, and looked towards Feathertail, wariness evident in them.
"You all keep bashing Crowpaw, but it's not his fault. Starclan sends the signs, we don't go and ask for them. Making him guilt-ridden isn't going to get you your stupid sign!" Feathertail's eyes were blazing at the end of the sentence, and I was bursting with my gratitude for her.
I'm so glad someone understands how I feel.
"That wasn't our intention." Tawnypelt says meekly.
I was tired of being completely mute this entire time, when the conversation was literally about me. So I spoke up.
"Yeah, well, if that wasn't your intention, then why'd you mention it in every. single. mouse-brained sentence you spoke?! You all have each other, but the only cat who genuinely looks out for me is her!" I snarled, pointing at Feathertail with my tail.
They were all practically cowering by now, but Feathertail wasn't done.
"I don't belong here, Squirrelpaw doesn't belong here, but no one says anything about us. Just because he's the only one from Windclan and an apprentice, doesn't mean you pick on him! You all think of yourself as warriors, don't you? Then act like it." she said firmly, her voice softer now.
They all nodded, and I sighed in relief.
Pressing my nose to Feathertail's, I murmured to her, "Thank you."
"Anytime Crowpaw, I'm here for you." she purred back, and I believed that with all my heart.
"You're the only one I tell you, the only one." I say, and the way her eyes sparkled made it seem like nothing else matters.
The only one.
"I think it's time that we make Crowpaw a warrior," Tallstar's mew startled me out of my thoughts.
"Wh-what?" I stumbled out, tripping over my words in my surprise.
Tallstar's bright amber eyes shone with amusement. "It's time for you to become a warrior," he said his words slowly, as if they would digest in me better. I mean, it worked.
"I-yeah-ok, but in front of .. all of these cats?" I gestured to all the 4 clans, plus the tribe of rushing water.
"Yeah, what's the problem?" Came the reply.
I felt pride rush through me, that every cat would be able to see my ceremony, and see that I deserve to become a warrior. Somewhat deserve, at least.
"No, there's no problem," I mewed, slight arrogance evident in my tone.
Padding up to where Tallstar was, I stood in front of him, dark gray pelt sleek and amber eyes shining.
I could see Squirrelpaw looking at me with happiness in her eyes, and despite the annoying fur-ball she was, she had good intentions. Even Brambleclaw, who was quite into himself gave me a respectful nod, regardless of my position being underneath his.
Even Stormfur, who still blamed me for Feathertail's death and not being able to protect her, met and held my gaze for a good couple seconds.
"I, Tallstar, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down upon this apprentice. They have trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as a warrior in their turn. "
The Windclan leader turned towards me, and I met his stare head-on.
"Cropaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your clan, even at the cost of your life?"
A rush of confidence burst through me. Every kit looks forward to this day, this moment, as it is by far one of the most important moments in one's life.
"I do," I said confidently, my voice ringing throughout the cave.
For some reason, something felt off. I was having my warrior ceremony in front of all the clans, a new-found tribe, with friends and family surrounding me, and my leader being proud of me. What more could I want?
Then her image flashed in my mind. Her gentle purr, glimmering eyes, and sleek pelt.
Feathertail. She had given her life protecting the tribe, and I still hated myself for not being able to stop it, stop her from being so selfless.
She was worth so much more.
She had given so much to me, and I owed her every single day for everything she's done for me.
Wait a second...every single day huh? I think I know what to do now.
Tallstar had begun speaking again, all the other cats waiting, some expectantly, others' impatiently.
"Then by the powers of Starclan, I give you your warrior name. Crowpaw, from this moment, you will be known a-"
"Wait!" I interrupted, and a tense silence hung over the room. I could see Ashfoot, my mother, looking affronted and the look in her eyes, I was about to receive quite a scolding afterwards, interrupting the leader and all.
"Yes, Crowpaw?" Tallstar grunted, a trace of irritation in his eyes.
I dipped my head, displaying respect, before continuing.
"I-I would like to receive the name Crowfeather….because of the cat that never came back from our journey…" I said silently, the grief dripping over my voice.
"Very well...Crowpaw, from this moment you will be known as Crowfeather." Tallstar declared, and a round of cheers shot up from the crowd. The Windclan leader had a knowing look in his eyes, and I knew he had figured out for my certain...feelings, for Feathertail.
As everyone chanted my name, I knew this was the right name for me.
I will only have one name, and I will always only have one she-cat that gave me those jitters in my stomach, that warm feeling.
It was only her.
I stared up at the night sky, looking for a shooting star. It's been a while now, and I've lived a long, not-so easy life. It's not over yet, but I suspect it will be soon.
I thought about all the cats who once stood by my side, and the same cats that had left afterward.
There was Nightcloud, who had beared with me for so long, raising our son all by herself, and still giving me a second-chance despite all my mistakes with her. I had never truly loved her, and I still felt bad to this day.
Then there was Leafpool. She had given up the clan's trust in her, her kits, and her position, breaking so many laws just for me. She had looked at me like she'll never look away, but I looked at her only to look away.
It was a one-time crush, and a one-time affair. Running away was a quick decision, and I never regretted coming back. I knew, deep down in my heart, that I would never be truly happy with Leafpool.
But with Feathertail, it has been many, many moons now, and I still hold my affections and love for her close to me. She is the one that appears in my dreams every night, and her eyes are the ones I see first when I look up at the stars. I knew when it would be my time to join the stars, she will be the first one to greet me. I have no doubt about that, and I look forward to that very day, where I get to be with her again.
I walked with her through the moors, the forests, the twolegplace, the river, and the mountains. Now I'll walk with her through the skies, among the stars.
Her star had, has, and always will shine the brightest in the sky.
After all, it was always her.
It was only her.
Thank you so much reading! Leave a review down below about what you think of this!
Quick Note: I'm sorry for my weird posting schedule, I've been fumbling around with it, but I think I got it finalized, and will post every Wednesday!