Lying awake and staring at the ever-evolving ceiling was a master of an achievement. She felt excruciatingly numb, her body hurt and that was ok. She was blinking every now and then coating her eyes with the moisture they had succumbed to from his words. Carla didn't know what her life had become, she had been happy and that was that she couldn't describe how she felt apart from that one devastating blow she received. Things felt too similar for her, they felt tainted with the past and she felt an overwhelming sense of betrayal. She stood up and walked to the wardrobe and pulled out a box and quickly stuffed it into her bag as she heard the footsteps of someone outside the room, she slid into bed and pretended to be asleep. She heard the door creak open and she felt Peter climb into bed beside her, he turned away from her and then flicked the sidelight off, he didn't bother to cuddle her or hold her, she guessed that it was because she thought that she was mad with him which she was, she turned to face him.

"Is this how it's going to be?" she queried, he turns around and lets out a sigh

"I dont know what you want me to do" he sighs "You've been blowing hot and cold for the last month or so"

"I'm not doing this" she states turning away from him, he sighs

"How have we got here Car?"

"You were messing about with that crackhead" she states in annoyance, he tries to take her hand but she just swipes it away "I just dont feel close to you anymore"

"I know you dont" he sighs, they both stare at the ceiling unable to give each other eye contact

"If you would have just listened to me then none of this would have happened"

"I know," he says, his voice full of regret "I'm sorry"

"Stop saying that" she mutters turning on her side "Sorry doesn't fix it, there are other things..."

"I dont know what else I can say" he states but receives no reply, he just decides to turn away and sleep, he didn't even hear her silently cry to herself

She woke up her throat was dry and dehydrated, she reached for her water and swallowed it down, she sighed and slid out of bed and went to the bathroom to get ready. She slipped downstairs and entered the back room, he smiled at her and she just ignored him picking up a file she needed for the day, she headed to the door.

"Don't be like this" Peter sighs, she just shrugs slinging her bag onto her shoulder, she places her hand on the door

"What am I supposed to be like Peter?"

"Love, don't get all defensive"

"You're doing my head in you know that" she sighs in exasperation folding her arms across her chest "Look I just want to get on with my day, Nick is expecting me"

"Ok fine" he relents knowing that she was getting annoyed "We'll talk later"

"Yeah, we'll do that"

She went to work and got on with what she needed to do, she knew Abi wasn't a threat and she knew that Peter wasn't interested even if Abi did seem interested in him. She was marking figures down on her balance sheet and she went through her bag and pulled out the box which she stuffed in there the night before and placed it on the table. She stared at it in utter confusion wondering how she could have been this stupid, she stared at it for a solid twenty minutes thinking up different scenarios in her head, some which caused a smile to grace her face and other which made her heartbeat in anxiety. She was brought out of her thoughts by someone tapping at the door, she raised an eyebrow at Abi's appearance, no doubt here to defend Peter which she did as well as the insult of her not being good enough to understand his addiction which hurt as well as Abi telling her how Peter was going to fall off the wagon. She hated this because all he had to do was speak to her, she didn't want to be treated like some invalid and she really did understand what he was going through. After Abi left she picked up the box and put it into her bag and left the office and went back to the pub to get food as a bit of escapism.

"You've finished work?" he questions, she just ignores him and heads to the kitchen "Don't be like this"

"You know I've had Abi singing your praises?"

"Oh?"

"She said you were about to fall off the wagon"

"Ah…"

"Ah what Peter? Why didn't you tell me you were struggling?" she replies angrily, she really didn't need this stress in her life

"I didn't want to ruin your attempts of being back in the factory, having to worry about me"

"So you're saying I don't understand what you're going through?" she glares, he sighs shaking his head "I'm sorry Peter I don't understand at all, I really don't because I have definitely not gone through what you have at all"

"I just didn't want you to think that you would have to babysit me because of my addiction-"

"Oh so this is what this is about?" she nods sarcastically "This is about you like I said Peter there are other things"

"You keep saying that, and I know there are it's just…"

"Just what? You obviously think differently of me now, otherwise, you wouldn't have said all that you did about me sleeping with Jordan, did it really bother you that much-"

"Carla stop this, you know that was just a slip of the tongue, I wasn't thinking" he states, she rolls her eyes letting out a slight chuckle "What's funny?"

"Us!" she exclaims placing both of her hands on her hips "I just don't feel close to you anymore"

"You haven't exactly been giving me the 'come on' recently" he states, she tilts her head back in annoyance

"If that was bothering you why didn't you say? Eh?" she questions pointedly, he just sighs "You know what I'm going to Roy's I'm sick of the sight of you and this is getting us nowhere"

"Carla wait!" he calls but it was too late, she stormed out of the room slamming the door for extra effect, he sighed in annoyance wishing he could understand her constant mood swings, wishing he could confide in her again…

She went and picked up a snack from Roys and then headed back to Underworld to get on with some bits and bobs. She continued with what she did before she was rudely interrupted by Abi, she just couldn't focus though, her own domestic problem, festering away in her delicate mind. The numbers which were scrawled on her piece of paper didn't even make sense anymore nor did the nauseating realisation that her relationship with Peter was really hitting the rocks. There was a presence which she felt in the room which she was in causing her to look up and look on with an emotionless expression; it was Peter.

"Hear me out" he sighs sitting down in the chair opposite, she chews her lip "I want to understand, from your point of view but you need to speak to me so I was thinking why don't we just have a night to ourselves, we can book a hotel if you want and get a cab there so none of us can escape"

"Five stars?" a smile flickers onto her face thinking about the need for relaxation

"Whatever you want" he returns her smile, she nods slowly picking up her bag, he frowns

"Come on then, this is what you wanted wasn't it?"

"Yes I mean…of course I just didn't expect-"

"-me to give in that easily, well, this is your chance Peter to explain to me and I will explain to you"

"Right, ok then, let's head home and pack"

They rushed home and packed the need to get away prevalent in her green orbs. Carla was anxious about what this would subside to but she did know that this was their chance to mend things, to make a go of things properly again because she really did love Peter, she loved him more than the world should allow her to love him and that was a scary thought for someone who had been through so much trauma within her life. He worked on booking the hotel whilst she packed a bag for them both, she picked up her bag and opened it, she sighed at the box which was in there and bit her lip, she placed it back in her handbag because she just couldn't think of all the emotions which were associating with it because it was so scary for her, she needed to trust Peter first and understand what their future was before she got into the contents of what remained in the box. He drove them there and all she could do was stare out of the window, they didn't make conversation but he did have to internally question if she was ok.

"Carla?" he questions with a small smile on her face, she turns to face him and flashes him a quick smile, she looked so serene staring out of the passenger seat window

"Sorry, I was miles away" she rambles, he nods slowly giving her hand a squeeze, they both get out of the car and he takes her hand into his and they book into their room and then find it ready to settle down for the night

"Here" he takes the bag off her and places it on the ottoman at the end of the bed, she lies on the bed and sighs at the atmosphere "Do you want anything to eat?"

"Um" she falters, he passes her the menu and she examines it "I'm good actually, I don't mind if you want something though"

"It's fine, we can just talk if that's what you want?" he asks, she gulps nervously and just gets under the covers, he follows her and they just stare at the ceiling "I don't want this to be a bad thing, for either of us"

"Me neither"

"But what's going on Carla, you've been so off lately-"

"I know and I'm sorry for that" she states refusing to look at him instead she just entwines her fingers with his, they hold hands unable to look at each other "Why didn't you speak to me?"

"What I said before was true, I was worried about you as you had just started back at the factory, I didn't want you worrying about me and the other, I guess I was just worried about how you would take it, whether it would bring back memories for you and don't hate me for saying this, your psychosis, when we were married before, I just didn't want you to feel trapped"

"I understand, I do" she sighs closing her eyes and biting her lip "I just want you to be able to confide in me, I'm better now Peter and I want to help like I used to help you like I used to understand you, it scares me when you go to Abi not because I'm scared you'll stray, I'm scared that you don't trust me to help you" she chokes back a sob

"Oh Carla" he whispers "It's not because I value you any different than before, yes I don't want you to have the stress because of your psychosis and the upset but I just felt you didn't need this in your life"

"I'm going, to be honest, yes I don't need this in my life Peter but I love you so much and ib know your addiction is a part of you just like my psychosis will forever be a part of me now but if we don't communicate Peter then quite frankly I don't know what we can do because I don't want to lose you, not after everything you've done for me and not after you helped me so much, I love you Peter forever and always, I love you so much and I want this to work but It won't work if we aren't honest with each other and if we don't trust each other"

"I know that now" he turns around, she turns around as well, he brushes the back of his fingers over her cheek and attempts to lean in for a kiss, she kisses him back

"That's another thing we need to talk about" she whispers, her eyes downcast as he frowns "When you said I wasn't giving you the 'come on' as of late-"

"-It's fine Carla if you don't want to have sex we don't have to I know this is your medication speaking and I respect that and I know you're thinking that's why I went and helped Abi in an attempt to get some action but it wasn't it wasn't because I wanted to help her either it was because immersing myself in her problems was distracting myself from mine"

"I'm sorry" she smiles slightly "It's just my body's changed…a lot since I lost my mind so to speak"

"I know it has but that's ok because you're healthy now" he cups her cheek "I'll tell you what we'll do why don't you get into your pyjamas and we can just cuddle?"

"Yeah ok" she smiles slightly sliding out of the bed and grabbing her pyjamas from the overnight bag

"Carla?"

"Yeah?" she turns to face him with a small smile not really knowing how she felt about the conversation herself, she should have been more honest but right now she couldn't deal with that

"You're perfect as you are don't let anyone tell you otherwise"

"Thank you, Peter" she smiles glancing to her handbag, she sighs biting her lip, she goes into her bathroom and shuts the door, tomorrow would be another day