Chapter 186

"Go dada." Phoebe said from the back seat as they drove down the street making her mother feel even more guilty as she looked at her daughter in the rearview mirror.

"Uhm not right now bub. We'll go see him again in a few days." She explained hoping the toddler would understand.

"Nooooooo mama. Go dada!" She started and Alex blew out a long steady breath as she tried to concentrate om the road ahead and not on her daughter who happened to be in tantrum mode once again. Trying to block out the toddler's cries she was grateful when the apartment her mom rents for Luca came into sight. She got out but Phoebe refused to get out of the car with her mother. She was still kicking and screaming much to her mother's irritation in more ways than one. Alex stood in the parking lot and looked at her daughter in her car seat until she calmed down before she took her out and walked towards their designated appartment.

Ryan went into the baby's room and looked around for something to do. He switched off his phone and covered the floor as he decided to start paintint his son's room. Anything to keep him occupied for the time being even if it means having to do everything by himself. He started painting the walls with the baby blue color that they decided on and he couldnt help but miss his wife as she would direct him on what to do or critisize him on his streaky strokes. Once he was done he stood back and looked at his handwork and then decided to put the rocking chair together.

"Maaaammmmaaaaaa." Phoebe started again with her renewed energy as she started crying sitting down on the floor.

"Phoebe please. Just stop crying." Alex pleaded but it was to no avail as she had to go into the bedroom to take a call whe her phone rung surprised to see that it was the centee her brother was at; askinf her to get to the hospital as soon as she can since she is the emergency contact. In a panic she called Shelby only to realize that she is at work and she has to take a distraught Phoebe Grace to day care.

Driving like a maniac to get to hospital since they wouldn't tell her over the phone what happened to Luca. She walked up to reception as fast as she could bases on her pregnant condition to ask for his room number and was instrucred to wait on the doctor. She paced up and down as she waited on the doctor when he walked up towards her.

"Family of Luca Parrish?" He asked and she nodded her head as he instructed her to take a seat.

"Uhm Luca attempted suicide by sliting his wrists. The clinic found him in the room and he was quite weak as he had lost a lot of blood at that point." He said looking at her as he waited on any kind of response from Alex but she just stared at him blankly. "Is he gonna be okay?" She finally managed to ask.

"He is out of surgery so we're waiting for him to wake up. This was found in his room." The doctor handed her a folded up piece of paper that she accepted with shaking hands as he directed her towards Luca's room.

She sat down on the chair next to the bed and looked at his wristed that was bandaged and probably stitched. What broke her hear the mosy was tje favt that he was handcuffed to an emergency room bed in an attempt to restrain him from not trying somwting like it again. With shaky fingers she unfolded the letter and started reading.

By the time you read this I'm hoping to not be alive anymore. I didnt want your help because I always seem to mess things up for anyone who helps me which is why I got involved in the Cuban gang life. Becauze if something happens to me there I know it wont affect someone they care about.

I'm sorry for messing up your marriage. If I'm not here anymore you'll have one less problem to worry about.

-Luca

He started stirring and she looked at him not saying anything.

"I wanted to die why did they bring me here. Why did they contact you!" He started and tried to free his hands as he rattled them and metal made noise against the bed. "I dont wanna live anymore Alex!" He yelled straining his voice as tears came down his cheeks.

"You dont get to make that kind of decisions Luca Parrish! You dont just give up when things doesnt seem to go your way. If suicide were the way out I wouldn't have been here since I was a teenager!" She said harshly looking at him. "And its my marriage-my problems no one said you were the reason for it. Stop looking for easy ways out and leaving other people with heartache!" She said getting up from where she sat and walked out of the room.

"Lex?" A familiar asked behind her as she walked towards the cafeteria and she turned around.

"Simone Booth! What are you doing here?" Alex asked glad to see her sister in law altough strange that they were seeing each other in the hospital hallway.

"Mom's here. I've been trying to get hold of Ryan but his phone goes to voicemail." Simone said and Alex was concerned about her mother in law and not sure if she should tell Simone about what is going on. She grabbwd a fruit salad and walkes with Simone toward Theresa's room. Alex knocked on the door softly and walked inside.

"Alex, how are you?" Theresa asked sitting up against the pillows behind her.

"I could ask you the same. Why are you here and why didnt you say anything?" Alex asked as a million questions ran through her head.

"Why I'm here is not important right now. How are things with you and Ryan?"

Alex took a deep breath and bit her lip not knowing how to answer the question. "We're not in a good place right now, but I have faith that it will it get better."

"I am so sorry about that." Theresa said taking Alex's hand and squeezing it gently. "What are you doing here is everything okay? Are you and the baby alright?" The grandmother asked concerned.

"Yes everything is fine. Uhm I recently found out that I have a brother and he was admitted here." She explained briefly and Theresa could sense that she was uncomfortable and didnt ask her any more questions.

"Have you seen the girls outside? Have they spoken to their brother yet?"

Alex nodded "I got Simone I didnt see the other two. She said they called him but his not answering. Theresa is everything okay?" Alex asked as her concerns grew more and more.

"I'm fine my girl you really dont have to worry about me." Theresa said but waa interrupted when a nurse came in to get her for some tests. Alex tried calling Simone again and Nadia and Amorey before leaving the hospital to get Phoebe but neither of them answered.

She drove to get Phoebe and then went home to check on her husband not that she wanted to but the way Simone looked when she saw her and saying Ryan is not answering his phone and the way her mother in law kept sayong she was okay made her worry. She entered the house and Phoebe immediatley ran around the house im search of her father. Alex found him in the nursery painring as he had blue spashes of paint all over his hands and some on his face.

"Simone says shes calling but you're not answering."

"I switched my phone off. Where did you get her?" He asked picking his daughter up.

"Your mom's in hospital Ryan." Alex said not knowing how else to give him the news. "And I think you should get cleaned up and go there." Alex told him seriously.

Ryan was confused about a lot of things right now. Why his wife was at hospital and why his mom was there and why his sisters are all there but that made him wash up in record tine as he drove to the hospital.

Miraculously he bumped into Simone at the enterance. "Wow some big brother you are Ryan Booth." She started looking at her only brother.

"Simone my phone was off what are you on about?" He asked nit in the mood for her guessing games.

"What am I on about? When the three of us needed you the most you werent here. Mom has cancer Ryan!" She yelled slamming a fist into his chest.

Hey guys. I know its been long. Tooo long but my laptop broke and I'm ryping on my phoneb WHICH IS HORRIBLE. Anyway here is another chapter not really what I had in mind but it's going somewhere that I'm hoping you'll like in the end.

Lovies-S