Sat crossed-legged on the armchair playing with the stray strands of thread from a cushion which was situated comfortably on her lap. She glanced over to the table and sighed at the box which had become a symbol of so many things in her life recently apart form one thing, one negative and that was honesty. She knew she was holding back and that was ok, she slid off the armchair and opened the box gingerly, it was three in the morning, she smiled softly at what was meant to be a gift, a gift for the future but now it resembled so much fear and the possibility of loss, she gulped anxiously and closed the lid and tied the pale blue ribbon around it again and slid it into her handbag where no doubt it would reside for eternity. She heard the padding of someone coming down the stairs, she smiled simply at the presence in the room; Peter.

"Why are you down here, it's almost four in the morning" he bends down in front of her and taking her hands, she glances down at their hands which were entwined upon the cushion

"Just couldn't sleep" she smiles, he kisses her gently on the lips "I'll be up in a minute"

"How about I get you a nice hot water bottle, how does that sound?" he questions, she nods eagerly "That's settled then"

"Peter?"

"Mhm?" he pokes his head around the door, she bites her lip thinking about revealing her secret but she refrains

"We are going to be ok arent we?" she questions, she hears him flick the kettle on, he returns and gestures for her to sit up, he places her on his lap

"We will be fine" he confirms as they listen out for the kettle "You seem distant..."

"Do I?" she questions with a lopsided smile "Sorry I'm just tired, I'll be fine once I've had a few more hours of sleep in me"

"Well, let's get this hot water bottle sorted and then we can get you back to bed yeah?"

"Sounds good to me"

Laying with her head on Peter's chest was something she loved, it was her safety and after everything they had been through she didn't know how to feel about their future. She examined him as he slept peacefully beside her, she couldn't help but feel like she was being harsh not telling him what was on her mind so she bit her lip and nudged him into wakefulness and that in itself made her feel bad as he only managed to get off to sleep again. He stared into her eyes and watched as they filled with tears, he grabbed her hand and kissed her on the forehead gently and wiped her eyes, they didn't say anything instead she just slid out of bed and went downstairs to collect the box which she stuffed in her bag, she returned to him and sat cross-legged on the bed the box placed in front of him, in front of them both.

"Open it" she whispers, he glances down to the box and undoes the ribbon, a small smile playing on her face, she shuffles up and sits beside him taking his hand and placing it on her tummy "A present from baby to Daddy"

"What…?" Peter trails off as tears smart his eyes "Carla…?"

"Read it" she smiles unfolding the baby grow and placing the soft material in his hands

"Due…May 2021?" he questions, she smiles looking at him directly in the eyes "If this is some cruel idea of punishing me-"

"It's true" she smiles sliding off the bed and leaving the room temporarily and returning with a rectangular box "Do you want to do it together?"

"How long…when even…Carla, this is crazy?" he states in disbelief, she smiles chewing her lip knowing it was crazy when she found out, the last time they even got close to having sex, she wasnt in the mood but she allowed him to continue, to get inside of her but she soon rolled over and then went to sleep

"Recorder" she states simply, he chuckles in response "I know we didn't do much but I think it's safe to say that…well it was then"

"We barely did anything though…"

"Still it only takes one doesn't it?" she chuckles knowing her moods had been up and down for a while now

"Why didn't you tell me straight away?"

"Fear" she admits "I didn't know how you would take it, things had been bumpy then you started going off with Abi and...yeah I was nervous about telling you because of that I suppose"

"I'm sorry" he sighs she smiles slightly "I'm glad you told me, even if it is now..."

"I was starting to get symptoms which is why I woke up, feeling nauseous" she mumbles, her eyes downcast to her lap as she fiddles with her hands "I was going to keep it to myself"

"Oh, sweetheart..."

"It's not that...its the fact that it was there, it existed, I haven't even been to the doctors yet because I've been so scared, I saw this thing on Pinterest when I was working trying to get the creative juices flowing 'an all that and anyway long story short I got onto babies and gender reveals as well as pregnancy reveals and I thought that this was a good idea to tell you even though I was so frickin' petrified"

"But...?" he senses there was more

"I was just paranoid, I hate to admit it but I thought that this baby may push you into the arms of Abi because...Tina, I suppose"

"Come here" he murmurs scooping her up into his arms and placing her on his lap, she instinctively wraps her arms around his neck and nuzzles into his neck "I didn't mean to hurt you, to make you feel like you couldn't confide in me about the...well you know-" he smiles placing a hand on her tummy, he was too afraid to get attached, scared of failing and all that

"I'm scared about what it means for us" she gulps looking into his eyes, he kisses her gently on the lips "I'm just...scared"

"You're allowed to be, you've been through so much" he whispers kissing her again, she smiles slightly breathing in the scent; the remains of his aftershave "We can do this though, together as a team"

"Yes, we can" she nods "But we need to communicate, be happy in our choices and most of all, love each other, and most importantly love this baby"

By the time they finished talking it was light outside anyway. Peter held Carla all night in his arms wanting to keep her safe, he held her close and watched as she tried to get some sleep which she eventually did. He grabbed his phone and slid out of the room and rang Nick making the excuse that Carla wasn't feeling well and that she couldn't go into work, he knew she would be mad at him but they really needed to talk about her and her concerns as well as about his. She darted out of the bedroom causing him to chuckle slightly as she ran into the bathroom to be sick, he followed her and bent down to scoop her hair out of her face, she groaned in annoyance at the fact that this had to happen, that her baby caused this but deep down she was happy about it. He passed her the toothbrush and dolloped plenty of toothpaste on it and passed it to her and he watched her as she brushed her teeth, staring intently knowing that she was just trying to get through the moment herself.

"You dont have to walk on eggshells around me" she comments with a small smile as she swirls some mouthwash around her mouth, he stands behind her and drapes his arms around her middle, his hands resting on her tummy

"I'm just trying to process it all" he states, she nods slowly knowing it was a lot to take in, once she knew she was distant trying to get through the thoughts and feelings associated with pregnancy and the thoughts of losing it as well as the thoughts of her late daughter

"I know" she whispers removing herself from his embrace and grabbing the pregnancy test which she had "Let's do this, it might make it seem more real? For both of us"

"Yeah" he smiles, she nods slightly ushering him out of the bathroom so she could take the test, she steps out a while later to a panic-stricken Peter

"Baby?"

"Sorry I'm just nervous"

"Sets in after a while doesn't it?" she muses leaning on the opposite wall to where he was, she glances down to the test in her hands and smiles showing it to him, he smiles slightly taking it off her and looking at the word 'pregnant' displayed across it "This is happening Peter and I am so scared"

"Come here" he brings her in for a hug, she rests her head on his chest "I know it's scary, but we'll do this step by step, take each day as it comes and we will do this together, I'm not leaving your side ok?"

"Yeah" she whispers nodding slightly "Ok, yeah we can do this"

"Good" he whispers resting his forehead against hers as they nudge each others nosing causing a giggle from her "Now dont hate me but...I phoned Nick and said you won't be going into work-"

"Ugh, Peter!"

"Shush" he presses a finger to her lips causing her to rolls her eyes "I want to treat you and he said that you deserve some time off because you really have worked hard haven't you?"

"I guess" she mumbles shaking her head "Please dont do that again though"

"I won't...I just want you to have some time to yourself today, I want to pamper you"

"Hmm" she muses "Doesn't sound too bad actually"

"Good" he grins lifting her up and walking her into the bedroom as she clings onto him, her arms wrapped around his neck and her legs around his middle "Now what do you require for today then?"

"A nice glass of water will do, I'm really thirsty and you can get me some brekkie"

"Your wish is my command"

He returned with a bowl of fruit and a few pieces of toast for them o pick over for the morning, he entered their bedroom and saw her lying on her back with her fingers drawing soft circles over her tummy and humming gently to herself or the baby he didn't know but either way he was happy that she was happy at least he had an understanding of her mood swings now. He also organised her medication for the day ready for her to take as she was meant to take it with her food that morning, she eventually fell asleep leaving him to run his fingers through her hair gently until they were interrupted by a knock at the door, he opened it to reveal Jenny.

"Hey" Peter mumbles pressing a finger to his lips, he slides out of the room to talk to her "Sorry she had a bad night"

"Oh it's fine, um yeah I won't pester you then-"

"What was it?"

"Well Johnny and I were going to have a night out and obviously we need someone to mind the bar...but it's fine we can do it tomorrow"

"Yeah I dont think she would be up to it" he smiles, Jenny nods "Sorry about that"

"It's fine maybe another time eh? You get back to her" Jenny smiles, Peter nods going back into the bedroom and shutting the door, Carla raises her head up and smiles at him before sinking back down into the comfort of the bed

"Hey" he whispers getting in next to her and returning to stroking her hair "Are you feeling ok?"

"Who was that?" she avoids his question resting her head on his chest and nestling into the warmth of his body

"Jenny wanting us to mind the bar, it's fine I covered so we can stay wrapped up in our duvet all day" he murmurs into her head, she groans slightly before squirming and running out of the room to the bathroom, he chuckles slightly following her and pulling her hair out of the way

"Yep I officially hate your sperm" she states, he just laughs watching her swig some mouthwash "Seriously it's been so hard keeping this a secret for a month or so"

"We still need to go to the doctors though" he smiles, she nods falling into his arms and he wraps them around her "It's important we get you checked out especially with your medication"

"Gosh, I didn't even think about that" her eyes widen, he hushes her gently "What if I've caused it damage..."

"Ok calm down" he whispers kissing her on the forehead "We're not going to know unless we go to the doctors are we so we just need to relax and I will ring the doctor now and get you an appointment as soon as possible, just try not to think about it"

"Ok, yeah" she nods slowly, he smiles pecking her on the lips as they walk back into the bedroom, she gets under the covers and he grabs his phone, blows her a kiss and leaves the room to ring the doctors, all he could hope was that Carla and the baby would be ok no matter how much of a shock this whole thing was to him, and to her, he couldn't fail her now, no way...