No content warning for Cloud's backstory, just advance notice it's going to get crushingly sad. It should be pretty obvious, so I'll just be clear about it: there is a character death in this chapter. Because of that, there's some inevitable violence, but I've done my best to limit it since it's really not the focus here.

A week had passed since the hilltop date. They'd been on two more dates since then, and while both of them had been great, Cloud had felt more uncomfortable and awkward than normal. It wasn't at all related to the dates themselves, but he was worried it might have been coming off that way.

No, his discomfort had to do with his past, and how guilty he felt from keeping it a secret from her, despite her courage to tell him about her own. Afraid of unintentionally damaging their growing relationship, Cloud had come to a decision. It was time for him to stop hiding. Time to take a step forward. Time to tell Aerith everything.

Now that the moment had arrived, however, he felt his heart racing. They'd just finished eating homemade lasagna Aerith had made and brought over to his apartment. Cloud had thought it was delicious, but his nervousness over what was to come had kept the conversation over dinner sparse. Once the meal had finished, they moved to his main room, each seated in their own chair, spaced a couple of feet apart. The sun was close to setting, but still provided enough light Cloud hadn't turned on any lamps yet.

"This is a story I've never told anyone else. As I mentioned before, everything I'm about to tell you happened roughly four years ago. We'd be here all night if I told you the full story, so instead, I'll give you the rundown of what led up to one particular day, and then we'll go from there."

He watched Aerith nod encouragingly, a gentle smile on her lips as she listened to him. She was leaning back, seemingly relaxed in her chair, although Cloud thought he could see a faint tension running through her entire body.

"This was just before the tensions with Wutai had broken out into open war. I'd been dispatched to defend a border outpost on the outskirts of Rocket Town with a platoon of soldiers under my command. Additionally, I'd been authorized to hire some mercenaries, a small group of three I'd worked with in the past and knew well."

Cloud felt his palms begin to sweat, and he idly rubbed his hands together to try and calm his nerves. Just thinking about Avalanche was painful.

"The troops were worried. Reports suggested Wutai had nearly twice our numbers, but I wasn't overly concerned about being outnumbered. Thanks to my SOLDIER training, I was comfortable taking on half a platoon by myself, and working together, the members of Avalanche were almost my equal."

He closed his eyes as he continued talking, the memories still fresh, washing over him despite the years as if it had been just yesterday.

—

"Hey there SOLDIER boy, how's it looking?" Jessie asked cheerfully, walking up to join Cloud at the edge of the observation post at the top of the base. She bumped her shoulder against his, before slipping one arm around his waist in a partial hug.

They looked out over the view together. The outpost was located in the middle of a large clearing, with a roughly four hundred foot radius, completely enclosed in on all sides by a dense forest.

"They're moving," Cloud replied, unconsciously placing a hand on her back and moving it in gentle circles.

Jessie stiffened slightly against him as she heard this, immediately alert. He smiled softly to himself, loving how she could shift from playful to serious so quickly. He raised his other arm and pointed to the tree line, slightly off to the right.

"The trees and undergrowth there have been moving for a while now, I imagine they're waiting for the sun to rise a bit higher so we'll be blinded by it when they attack."

He saw her glance at the recently risen sun, her eyes flickering as she ran the calculations in her head. "We've got about an hour till they attack then, assuming you're correct." Jessie tilted her head to smile at him. "Except you're always right about these things, aren't you?" she teased, lightly elbowing him in the side.

Cloud's lips curled upward at her verbal jab, and he turned his attention away from the forest to look into her eyes. "Once the fighting starts I want you to stick with Biggs and Wedge, okay? None of your crazy, solo heroics today please."

Jessie took a step away from him and put a hand over her mouth in mock outrage, cocking her head to one side, her eyes twinkling. "Just what exactly are you implying there, mister?" she asked roguishly. "Are you saying that I can't protect myself? That I need you big, strong men to keep me safe?"

Cloud was smiling widely at this point, unable to contain his amusement any longer. "We both know that certainly isn't true," he remarked, laughing. He forced himself to be serious before carrying on. "I'm just… nervous. I feel like HQ was hiding something about this mission. Be careful, all right? I don't want you getting hurt."

Jessie's forehead pinched slightly, a sign he recognized of her being actually annoyed before she abruptly launched herself at him.

Cloud was caught off guard by the sudden assault, allowing her to easily tackle him and end up sitting on his waist as his back hit the ground, her eyes gleaming in triumph. "I'm not a doll to be placed on a shelf and admired, Cloud. I can take care of myself."

His heart was beating rapidly as Jessie leaned in much closer, her breath brushing against his lips. "When we're like this is the only time I've ever known you, of all people, to be nervous," she whispered.

Cloud closed his eyes and parted his lips, more than willing to take his mind off the upcoming mission—if only for a moment.

"Bro, I don't think now's a good time to be bothering them," Wedge's voice said from the stairs that led down to the interior of the base.

Jessie jumped off him in a flash, smoothing out her clothes as she turned to Wedge. "You know just how to ruin the mood a girl's worked so hard on, don't you?" she asked him, her amused tone indicating she was mostly messing around.

"Well, if we were walking in on you in the bedroom maybe we'd be at fault. Can't blame us for your inability to keep your hands off each other in the middle of a mission, though," Biggs pointed out, one eyebrow raised in amusement, as he joined Wedge at the top of the stairs.

Cloud saw Jessie's cheeks redden at this, his face warming up as well. He hopped to his feet and dusted himself off, before clearing his throat and addressing the two men. "How are the troops holding up?"

Biggs frowned, the mood between the four of them now serious as they fell into familiar preparation before a mission. "That's actually why we came to find you," he explained. "They're scared, Cloud. They know we're outnumbered, and while they certainly trust you from past operations, they don't know us."

Cloud sighed, not surprised to hear this. There had been rumblings of discontent the whole journey here, and he couldn't entirely blame the troops for their low morale. "I'll go take care of it. You three stay up here and keep an eye on Wutai, I don't want them taking us by surprise if I'm wrong about their plan."

The three of them nodded in response, Jessie additionally winking at him and blowing him a kiss, mouthing the words "Sorry, maybe later" before moving off with Biggs and Wedge.

Cloud smiled and shook his head ruefully as he made his way down the stairs. It certainly would have been nice to have had a moment to fool around with her, but there would be plenty of time for that later, once the mission had been wrapped up. As he entered the mess hall where the troops were finishing up their morning meal, all of the soldiers turned to face him and saluted. "At ease," he told them, waving for them to carry on.

While they resumed cleaning up, Cloud addressed them. "We've got about thirty minutes left before the enemy is going to begin their assault. I know you're worried about their numbers, but we've overcome hurdles like this in the past, right?"

The soldiers responded with a variety of affirmations, some looking more concerned than others, but none denying what he'd said.

Cloud nodded back at them confidently. "Then know that I trust Avalanche with my life. They've already saved it multiple times by this point," he said with a laugh. "With them fighting alongside us, I have no fear we'll be the victors by the day's end."

The soldiers cheered loudly at this, the mood noticeably better than when he'd first walked in. Cloud mentally thanked Jessie for the speech practice she'd given him, knowing that without her, he never would have been able to pull this off.

"I just wish the Commander were here instead," he heard one soldier remark to the man next to him.

He frowned at this, but didn't want to publicly rebuke the soldier right before battle. "I know several of you have served under Commander Sephiroth in the past. Something more pressing demanded his attention, but do know he gave this mission his blessing and I'll be reporting all of your accomplishments directly to him."

This statement really captured the soldiers' attention, and another resounding cheer went up. Cloud felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to find Biggs behind him. "They're here?" he asked the man quietly.

Biggs nodded in reply. "Yeah, and thankfully it seems like Wutai is still on board with not wanting to involve Materia in combat. Jessie said she couldn't spot a single imbued weapon."

Cloud sighed softly in relief at this. He was the only one on their side even capable of using Materia. If Wutai had reached the point where they were going to break the unspoken agreement to not use them in battle, then this mission likely would have been over before the fighting even started.

"Well, that's a relief at least. I'm counting on the three of you to keep things under control up there."

Biggs dipped his head, before turning and running back up the stairs.

"To arms!" Cloud called out. "Get to your positions!"

The soldiers hurriedly, but efficiently, gathered their weapons and filed out of the room, gunners moving past him up to the roof, while the foot soldiers made their way to the main entrance. Heading out to the front lines, Cloud blinked and threw up a hand to shield his eyes from the light as he emerged outside, the sun now over the tree line and directly in their eyes as he'd predicted. "This is going to suck…" he muttered under his breath.

"Alright, you know what to do," Cloud began, addressing the waiting soldiers. "Fight together, don't let yourselves be isolated. They may outnumber us, but we trump them when it comes to skill. Remember that we've got cover from above; make sure to use that to your advantage by drawing the enemy out and providing our gunners with a clear shot. And don't lose faith, we're going to be the ones celebrating at the end of the day."

The soldiers all saluted him before breaking off into four squads, nervous chatter filling the air. By this point, the enemy soldiers were out of the forest, in plain sight, although it was painful to look directly at them.

Cloud felt the familiar calm that came before battle settling over him, and unsheathed the massive sword from his back as he walked in front of his troops. He planned on taking the initial brunt of the assault, to sow as much confusion in the enemy ranks as possible to give his soldiers the best chance at coming out of this alive. Despite what he'd said earlier, he knew that many of them wouldn't be alive by the time the sun would set.

As the enemy began to pick up their marching pace, Cloud dropped into a comfortable stance, his sword held with both hands, vertically in front of him, blade out. The enemy vanguard charged directly for him, screaming, and he almost felt sorry for them. Once the first soldier stepped in range, Cloud took a deep breath and struck.

He'd had many people describe what he looked like while performing this particular technique to him over the years, but from his perspective, it was simply moving from target to target. Fifteen slashes in a quarter as many seconds. Cloud let out his breath as the fifteenth body hit the ground on the exact count of the fourth second.

The charge faltered, stumbled, and then collapsed, soldiers screaming in horror as their allies were sliced down in the blink of an eye. Cloud's troops raised a cheer behind him and charged past into the broken enemy ranks, the sound of gunfire raining down from above.

Cloud lost himself in the battle. Unable to use any more flashy techniques for risk of friendly fire, instead he moved from squad to squad, ensuring his troops weren't getting surrounded, and protecting their flanks as best he could. As the battle drew on, Cloud felt himself slowly starting to tire and was forced to less actively defend his own side. Each time one of his troops fell, he ground his teeth in anger and redoubled his efforts to protect them.

At one point, he realized he'd accidentally gone too far out and ended up surrounded. He managed to take out two of his attackers but was forced to expose himself to the third in the process. As he braced himself to take the hit, he was surprised to hear a nearby gunshot, followed by the sound of a dropping body behind him.

Cloud whirled around and was startled to see Jessie was the one who'd taken the enemy out. He rushed over, putting a hand on her shoulder to help support her as she wavered slightly. "What are you doing down here?" he demanded. "You should be up top!"

Jessie glared at him before responding. "Seriously Cloud? I'm the one who just saved you!" She took a deep breath, calming herself. "Anyway, we've got trouble, Biggs spotted a second enemy force, they're about ten minutes out, coming from the other direction. We're surrounded, Cloud."

He froze as he heard this, his brain racing to figure out the best response. Quickly glancing around, he noted the fighting here was now largely in their favor. "I'll handle it. You stay here with Biggs and Wedge and make sure the enemy doesn't seize the base, we're lost without it."

Jessie looked like she wanted to argue, but nodded grudgingly. "At least take a few soldiers with you, we've got things under control here."

"You five, with me," Cloud called to a group of soldiers who'd finished taking down their last opponent.

Jessie grabbed him before he could go and pulled him close, kissing him deeply before pulling back and looking into his eyes. "You owe me a month-long vacation together once this is all over, you hear me?"

Cloud couldn't help but laugh. "You've got it." Together with the five soldiers he'd called out, Cloud rushed off in the direction she had indicated, his keen eyes already locking onto signs of the enemy's presence in the forest.

"Double time!" he called out, picking up the pace. "If we can engage them while they're still in the forest their numbers won't be as significant." The soldiers all nodded their heads, struggling to keep up with him, and Cloud knew despite his exhaustion, it was asking too much to expect them to keep up with a SOLDIER.

"Just catch up with me as soon as you can, I'll keep them busy until you arrive!" he yelled back, increasing his speed even more. He could hear Jessie's voice in his head, calling him a hypocrite, but ignored it. He had to make it to the forest's edge before the enemy, or else all their work earlier could easily be undone.

Cloud burst into the forest, startling a flock of birds that had been nesting in the tree above him. He quickly scanned the nearby area and was pleased to not see any enemy soldiers yet. Cautiously, he slowly made his way from trunk to trunk, until he finally saw signs of movement.

A scream of pain from behind him caused him to whirl around in surprise, his eyes locking onto an enemy scout he'd apparently missed. Cloud immediately realized what had happened. The scout had been hidden in a tree, well enough even Cloud hadn't noticed him. Apparently, the scout hadn't seen Cloud either, but as soon as one of the soldiers had walked under the tree he was hiding in, he'd dropped from above, killing them instantly.

Cloud charged the scout, enraged, furious his inattention had cost a life. The scout's head snapped in Cloud's direction as soon as he began to move, the man's eyes widening in fear as he saw Cloud's face. The scout spun around, back towards the edge of the forest, and ran for his life. Cloud raced after him, drawing closer with each step, his rage overriding his exhaustion.

"Take cover behind the trees, it's an ambush!" he shouted to his remaining troops as he flew past them.

Cloud caught up to the fleeing scout just beyond the tree line, back in the grassy field of the clearing once more. He raised his sword and quickly cut the man down from behind without hesitation. And then the world exploded.

—

Cloud moaned in pain, his ears ringing so loudly he couldn't even tell if he'd actually made any noise at all. He struggled to figure out what had just happened. The last thing he remembered was cutting down the enemy scout, and then there had been a blindingly bright flash of light in the distance, immediately followed by a blast of air that had knocked him off his feet.

As his vision and hearing slowly returned, the first thing Cloud heard was the screaming. He slowly got to one knee, wincing at the pain in his chest. When he looked around to find the source of the screams, he felt his mouth drop open in shock.

Cloud recognized he was no longer out in the clearing, but beyond that, he had no idea where he was. As his head finished clearing, he realized he'd been blasted backwards, back into the forest he'd just run out of. Except the edge of the forest was simply gone now. Trees were down everywhere, some ripped completely out at the root, others snapped in half like twigs. Enemy soldiers were strewn everywhere, the only one still alive seeming to be the screaming one crushed under a huge tree.

He reached back to the hilt of his sword and cast a quick Cure spell on himself, wishing as always he were more skilled in using Materia so he'd be able to use a stronger version of the spell. Feeling most of his aches dull slightly, Cloud grimaced. He was going to have a full-body bruise come the next morning. His wounds taken care of, for now, Cloud staggered over to the enemy soldier, and mercifully ended his suffering.

Walking past the bodies of the soldiers who'd come with him, Cloud slowly made his way back to the base, now missing its upper half. There was only one thought in his mind the entire, painful way—Jessie.

—

As he stepped into the ruined remains of what used to be the mess hall, now exposed to the open air above, Cloud was surprised at how relatively low the damage was here, compared to the surroundings and given that the source of the explosion had to have been nearby. Other than the roof having collapsed, the actual blast damage appeared to be fairly minimal. Looking around for survivors, he immediately caught sight of a familiar red bandanna, wrapped around the head of a seated woman, propped up against the wall.

"Oh thank the Ancients you're allrig…" Cloud trailed off as he drew close enough to be able to make out the state Jessie was in.

He felt like his heart had stopped, his blood freezing in his veins.

"No, no, no," he heard himself saying over and over.

"Hey there… SOLDIER boy," Jessie said softly, winking up at him.

She wasn't propped up against the wall; she was impaled to it, a length of exposed rebar jutting out through her stomach.

"It's not… as bad as it looks. I got lucky, I saw you running out of the forest and rushed down to come help. The bomb went off right after I reached the bottom of the stairs." She paused for a moment, her face wrinkling in pain.

"This base was built to withstand explosions, just… not ones quite that large," she finished, laughing quietly before abruptly stopping.

"Biggs? Wedge?" Cloud asked, frantically looking around them for any sign of the men.

Jessie shook her head in response, eyes closed. "They didn't make it," she whispered. "They were… still on the roof when the bomb went off. Everyone there would have died instantly."

Cloud swallowed hard, devastated by the news, but knew now wasn't the time to grieve for his lost friends. He had to focus on Jessie. Cloud dropped down to one knee in front of her, reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder, but pulled back at the last second, afraid of making her pain worse.

"Let me heal you," he told her, reaching back to grab his sword, but stopping as she slowly shook her head.

"You can't Cloud, not while this is still inside me. And if you pull me off…" she trailed off.

They'd both been trained in medical emergencies and knew the last thing you wanted to do with impalement was to remove the offending object. Unless, of course, you had a full medical team of doctors armed with Curaga nearby. Unwilling to focus on how helpless he was in this situation, Cloud redirected his thoughts to what he could do. Revenge.

"I can't believe Wutai would be insane enough to use a bomb this powerful, especially for such a trivial outpost," he snapped. "There's no way this won't ignite the war everyone's been afraid of."

"Exactly," Jessie whispered, her eyes closing briefly.

Cloud frowned in confusion. "What are you saying?"

"I know my bombs, Cloud. Wutai isn't capable of this, not even close."

"You're saying Shinra did this?!" he exclaimed in shock. "Why in the world would they…" He stopped talking as the answer crashed into him, his hand clenching tight in anger.

"They used us!" Cloud screamed, slamming his fist into the ground at his side hard enough to draw blood. "Those bastards want to start the war!"

Jessie slowly nodded her head in response, the look on her face confirming she'd come to the same conclusion.

"I'll take them down," Cloud snarled, a ball of rage igniting deep within him. "I'll never stop until Shinra is gone."

"Cloud, no!" she pleaded, reaching out with one arm and placing her hand on his cheek. "You can't do that. Shinra is too powerful."

"So what, I just give up and pretend like none of this ever happened?" he snarled, hating that he was taking any of his anger out on her at all. "That Biggs and Wedge aren't dead?! That you're not…" his words were choked off, unwilling to admit what they both already knew.

"No…" Jessie answered softly. "You break free. Stop working for Shinra. Live your life. Be happy. Can you… can you promise me that?" she asked, the tears running down her face also audible in her voice.

Cloud swallowed long and hard as he felt the rage inside him dying down, an overwhelming sorrow taking its place. He would never be able to forgive Shinra for this betrayal. But he understood what Jessie was doing for him. She didn't want him to throw his life away on a suicide revenge mission for her. She wanted him to live. And even if it destroyed him on the inside to make this promise, he would do it. For her.

He slowly nodded his head. "I promise."

Jessie sighed in relief, her arm falling back down into her lap and her entire body visibly relaxing as he made his promise. Her face immediately winced in pain as her body shifted. Cloud's eyes widened in horror as he saw her body spasm briefly, before she coughed wetly, bloody spittle covering her lips.

"Guess I... can't... hide it... any longer," Jessie panted, her eyes clenched shut.

Cloud felt like he was in a nightmare. This couldn't be real. He wanted to be able to hold her close and tell her everything was going to be fine. But it wasn't. He was no longer able to deny what he'd known as soon as he'd seen her. That everything was over.

"Cloud, please... Please just... make the pain stop," she begged, looking at him pleadingly.

Cloud recoiled, understanding what she was asking of him, but unwilling to carry it out. His resolve instantly collapsed, however, as he stared into her eyes, unable to stand the look of raw agony in them. As he slowly got to his feet, Jessie craned her neck to look up at him, clearly fighting through the pain.

She smiled softly. "Need you... to make... one last… promise," she whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear.

"Anything," he immediately responded.

Tears were now running down her face, and Cloud could feel them streaking down his own. "Don't... don't blame yourself," she begged him.

"This was Shinra. Not you."

Cloud nodded his head once more, unable to speak, static filling his ears as he unsheathed the sword from his back. He was barely able to read the words 'I love you' on Jessie's lips as she closed her eyes for the last time before his tears made it impossible to see anything but a blur.

Furious with Shinra, angry with himself for getting Avalanche involved in the first place, Cloud violently wiped the tears from his eyes with his arm.

"I love you too," he told her, before swinging his sword and ending her suffering—his heart, shattering in the process.

—

Cloud came back to reality in a daze. He knew he'd been narrating the entire story to Aerith, but he'd been so lost in reliving that horrible moment he couldn't remember a single word he'd said. The first thing he noticed was the room was now pitch black, the sun setting long ago. He could feel tears running down his face, but kept them out of his voice, speaking on in a monotone.

"The part of me that was a SOLDIER died that day. Knowing what I did, even without Jessie's request, there was no way I could continue to work for Shinra. So I faked my death. It was laughably easy. The explosion had made it impossible to identify so many bodies already, who would know there was one too few?

"The news reports said there had been no survivors, on either side, from the cowardly explosion Wutai had unleashed. Of course, I knew the truth, even if no one else did, and now you do as well."

Cloud's blood chilled as a sudden realization dawned on him. This was a colossal secret, one he'd kept closely guarded for years now. If Shinra somehow learned Aerith knew what had sparked the war…

He shook his head. He refused to allow that. He would prevent anything like that from ever happening. Focusing back on the present, Cloud waited for Aerith to say something, his concern mounting as the silence drew out. He knew she was still there, even though he couldn't see her, since there was a noise coming from her chair.

Panicked he'd terrified her, he frantically reached for the lamp next to him and flicked it on, its bright light causing him to close his eyes in pain. Blinking rapidly to clear them, Aerith slowly came into focus as his eyes adjusted to the light.

Her forehead was wrinkled, her eyes swollen and closed shut. She was biting her lower lip, causing her chin to be pulled up and the edges of her cheeks to harshly crease. Cloud could make out the individual tendons on her neck, straining as her throat trembled. A continuous stream of tears was running down her face, streaking what little makeup she wore. Her entire upper body was shaking gently with her sobs, the sound of her distress what he'd heard in the darkness.

Cloud knew, objectively, that if you stripped the context of the night away and looked at Aerith's face right now, the average person wouldn't say it was attractive, especially compared to the way she usually looked. But to him, despite the ruined makeup, the puffy, bloodshot eyes, and runny nose, she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen in his life.

"Cloud, I…" her throat tightened as she swallowed hard. "I don't even know what to say," she whispered in agony, a sob breaking free and preventing her from saying more.

He slowly nodded his head, watching her through the tears that continued to run from his own eyes, not needing her to say anything at all since he could so easily read everything she wanted to say just from her face.

One of the main reasons he'd never told anyone about what had happened was because he had been afraid of them judging him for what he'd done. There was none of that in Aerith's tear stricken face. For the first time in years, he felt the hand clenched around his heart gently loosen a fraction. He wondered if maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for happiness with this incredible woman.

Aerith slowly got to her feet but didn't move from in front of her chair, holding her arms out to the side. Cloud immediately understood what she was offering, and without needing to think, closed the distance between them, moving to stand right in front of her. In silence, the two embraced, one finding peace, the other comfort, as they clung together.

Special thanks to TheJSFFenix for helping look over Cloud's flashback.

This is a pretty brutal chapter to be left with, I know. I can promise that the rest of the story is much more Comfort than Hurt. All four of the remaining chapters should be up next weekend, although I'm not sure if it will be Saturday or Sunday. All comments are greatly appreciated, even if you just want to (respectfully) yell at me for what I put the two of them through.