Last time,
Marco reminisces briefly on his newfound hobby of gardening, moments before suffering a panic attack at the bath.
"Luffy," the younger man is settled on top of Marco, pressing down on him as the pair of them nap the day away. Marco knows Luffy would rather be outside, Brook had accidentally let it slip once that the lion-themed figurehead had been Luffy's designated napping spot. Nowadays, it's wherever Marco is, which, more often than not, is their shared bedroom. "There's something you should know." Luffy rouses from his stupor, his warm breath on Marco's chest, but he doesn't press, letting Marco share what's on his mind at his own pace. Maybe the heat's made him doozy, and he's not actually paying him any mind. The phoenix has thought long and hard on whether to tell Luffy this, but in the end, he owes it to him to know. "I've met Kin'emon before." Which isn't a problem, except "26 years ago. He hasn't changed at all. Momonosuke isn't his kid, he was actually born on the Moby. His father was the first Second Division commander, before Ace, a man named Kozuki Oden."
"What, really? Momonosuke's dad was?" Luffy jumps on the bed, digging a knee on Marco's stomach momentaneously before settling on his haunches. As always, animated by any mentions of Ace.
"Yes, but what I mean is, there's something they're not telling us."
"Yeah, I know," Luffy shrugs, dismissing a close ally's lies without any thought. "Kin'emon told me you guys knew each other."
"He… did?" The samurai had kept a respectful distance from Marco, and other than shushing Momonosuke's reaction to him, Marco could've sworn he was pretending he didn't know the phoenix.
"Uh-hum," Luffy confirms, leaving Marco a little lost, "he said there is stuff about Wano that he can't tell us yet and that if I was okay with him holding out a little longer on us."
"What did you tell him?"
"That I'm going to kick Kaidou's ass no matter what he says." (Sounds like him, yeah.) Marco takes in the honest sincerity and the dauntless drive. Takes in the wild, coarse locks of raven hair, and the wide eyes. Luffy always looks mildly surprised, as if every day brings with it a new wonder. So different from when Marco saw him last, alone in Rusukaina, holding himself together by an abstract promise. Marco doesn't know what Jinbei told him back then, he hadn't asked, but… It must've been remarkable because it somehow glued all the little pieces of Luffy together. The younger pirate reaches for his hand, almost absent-minded in the gesture. "Kin'emon's a good guy, Momonosuke too, even if he's a crybaby. It's going to be okay. We'll help them as soon as we're done with Mingo."
What happens next is a long-time coming.
Marco kisses Luffy because he wants Luffy to drop him like he's broken, wary of cutting himself up in all the glinting pieces that may have once had a name.
Marco kisses Luffy because neither pills nor drinking have any effect on him, but fuck how he wishes they did. Once, back in the Moby, Marco had a single thin bracelet made of sea stone, a prank gift Thatch made him for Marco to get drunk. The thought of the coldness can effortlessly bring Marco to tears -that's not an option anymore.
Marco kisses Luffy because he can't sleep.
Marco kisses Luffy because he thinks and thinks and thinks and thinks and thinks and Marco doesn't want to think anymore. (Which is what he tells himself instead of how he doesn't want to live anymore.)
Marco kisses Luffy for all the wrong reasons, but he doesn't stop. He can't stop because Marco's cold, cold, cold, and Luffy's inexplicably warm. The touch is delirious and from behind Marco's eyes comes the first time these hands laid on him –with shattered legs and a broken back and Marco bites down on rubber skin because fuck fuck fuck fuck.
-No, there had been a before... hadn't it?
(A testament to a search for comfort that had ended in whispered misgivings and wandering hands. Of seeing too much of a person, their heart, and their loss. The sounds they made in the throes of oblivion.
Marco's greedy fingers were guilty, guilty, guilty, and he'd promised himself Rusukaina was a mistake. Told himself, he's more than a creature of hunger and lust, that he can handle his pain with grace and dignity and maturity and not aimlessly in a body he has no right to. He dreamt that's not who he is -at least not anymore, but.. he's here now.
Again.
Besmirching. Poisoning. Taking.)
Luffy lets him.
Luffy lets him grab on desperately as if he's the only solid, stable thing for miles. Let's Marco curl into him and swallows all of Marco's whimpers, caresses his bruising lips, and gives back gentleness and softness for all of Marco's sharp edges. Unconcerned of the way that Marco can slice him open without thought.