Sanji's never considered Luffy a violent man, but as he and Zoro struggle to physically restrain him from beating Caesar Clown to death in cold blood, the cook thinks he might have to reevaluate that opinion. He wonders what it is that Luffy saw to make his gentle-hearted captain make that expression and promise murder.
(All Luffy can see behind his eyelids are Marco's empty eye socket, Mark's stubby fingers, the slippery feel of sea stone drilled into a hipbone, and god fucking dammit!)
"Can't we let him kill him?" Zoro grunts out, letting out a huff of breath as one of Luffy's rubbery arms nails him in the stomach. Law, the fuckwit standing safely away, snaps.
"Obviously not."
"Fucking shit," Sanji twirls in place, delivering a solid kick to Luffy's middle, sending him tearing out the hallway.
It starts because Marco wakes up from a nightmare. Maybe.
Now, Marco isn't wholly foreign to nightmares before this moment, he's lived an eventful life, and there are things in it that he's not proud of. Before, he'd wake up with a pounding heart and a sweaty back. Marco would catch his breath, maybe take off his shirt and go back to sleep. When he'd been younger, and the crew had been smaller, he sometimes snuck into Pop's room. As he developed as an adult, other coping mechanisms came to be, some better than others. In the end, Marco never struggled to separate his dreams from reality, which didn't make the dreams any less heart-wrenching, but it did make calming down significantly easier.
That isn't the case now.
When Marco has nightmares now, they aren't born out of a guilty conscience or too many bad decisions, they are rooted in memory and in soul-searing pain. Marco doesn't wake up panting for breath, oh no, Marco wakes up screaming.
Today, he's brought back to reality by the raw feeling of tearing in his throat, as always to find Luffy's concerned gaze and soft reassurances, sweet nothings if there ever have been.
Law is annoyed.
The navigator hasn't been navigating, and instead, she's taken the longest possible route to Dressrosa and Law's sure Luffy has something to do with it. (He's wrong of course, Luffy isn't suited to that type of deceptively subtle courtesy or planning, but that's what his crew is for, and Nami has cleverness in spades.) Nami-ya, though, Law does know, is a woman of formidable character, and considering that Law can piece together well enough why their journey has lengthened, he knows better than to complain. He's still on edge from Luffy's glare the day Marco was brought onto the ship. Law doesn't want to contemplate who would win out of the two of them in a fight.
As he glances around the deck, Roronoa-ya napping, Long Nose-ya gardening, and Nico-ya sunbathing; all of them out on the deck, always in pack, he scoffs. As if his fight against Straw Hat-ya would ever be only the two of them. As much as it pains him to admit it, it's hubris to think Law can take them all down by himself.
(And maybe he examines the Phoenix gardening or washing plates or generally at least faking to be a functioning human being after barely surviving as the plaything of a mad scientist, and Law's a little impressed. Whether at the older pirate, Straw Hat-ya, or his crew is yet to be decided. It's a distant feeling, a little like a puppy getting adopted after leaving an abusive home. A good for the puppy kind of attitude, hollow in that you would've never adopted him yourself. Perhaps, Law's even touched enough to not say anything about their route. He's been waiting 13 years to take down Doflamingo, a part of him fully expects to die, it's not like a week or two will make all the difference.)
Finally, though, it's time to make the call. Law's so fed up with the ship's ridiculous antiques and stormy moods that he ignores the way Straw Hat-ya looks restless. Not hyperactive or high on life like usual, but on edge as the Strawhats and the surgeon gather around. Law spares the other man a glance as he fiddles with the den den mushi and muses to himself that the other man looks to be so deeply in thought that he might hurt himself from thinking that hard. Then he remembers who he's referring to and decides Luffy's probably just thinking about dinner. (Law hasn't seen Phoenix-ya anywhere today, which means he must be having a rough day.)
He finishes setting up, dismissing Straw Hat-ya's mood. They're ready to make the call, except for one thing. Law stares at Luffy and again has the feeling that something's not right, it's such a certain feeling that Law almost proposes to do the call tomorrow. It's silly, they're set up to do it, and Law has no reasonable explanation for the sinking feeling he gets as he meets Luffy's frown.
"We need to bring Caesar on deck." Straw Hat-ya takes it as bad as Law expected, clenching down hard on his teeth. In a show of restraint, he's deadly still as he questions Law.
"Why?"
"Doflamingo will want to talk to him, make sure he's alive." Law shrugs, his irritation spiking. For all his fame, the other man can be dense like no other. "It's procedure."
"Do you, eh, kidnap people a lot? Haha." Long Nose-ya's attempt at humor falls flat in the face of Luffy's anger. The younger raven crosses his arms, looks away, pouts and goes:
"I don't wanna."
Law feels his eye twitch. He tries to be diplomatic and therefore curves the reflex answer of well, too bad.
"Straw Hat-ya, I get that you don't like Caesar, no one does, really." We weren't even close to replicating his Devil Fruit. Mostly, we were trying to determine its limits, understand how much of it can be science and how much of it is mysticism. What would it take for Marco the Phoenix to die? Law doesn't let the memory interrupt him. It's a close call. "But Doflamingo would be stupid to not ask for verification that we have him and that he's alive. If we don't put Caesar on the phone, he just won't believe us or assume he's dead, and there goes our plan."
"Luffy," It's Nico-ya calm voice drifting over their conversation, and it seems to soothe Luffy somewhat, taking off some of the rough edges in his posture. "I know it's frustrating, but Traffy's right. Do you still want to go along with the plan?" The pirate captain does not look pleased by any stretch of the imagination. Law once again wonders about Straw Hat-ya's ability for empathy, how can so many emotions fit into one person? "I can go accompany Marco if you want, just while Caesar is here." Luffy bites his lip at this. Slowly, he nods his head, seemingly appeased by the arrangement.
Law lets out a long breath.
Fucking finally.
"Excuse me."
"Robin?" As the tall woman enters his room, Marco's in bed, reading. It's supposed to be a comedy book, something to lift his spirits after an exhausting night, but Marco's always had trouble laughing at books. (The one he's reading isn't too bad though, and it's serving the purpose of keeping him distracted.) When Luffy had been here, there had been other ways to be distracted, but Marco hears today the crew would initiate contact with Doflamingo. Robin, in his room during such a meeting, is a puzzle piece he cannot figure out.
The woman smiles, it's tempered and trusting. Somehow, Nico Robin's always had the ability to make Marco feel at ease. There's something in her gaze that he cannot pin down that feels like being held. Marco thinks Robin would make a brilliant mother, with a gaze that promises to keep you safe in her eyes. Roronoa is a guard dog, but Robin is a guardian.
"There will be an unpleasant exchange on deck," she says enigmatically, taking a seat next to Marco on the bed. Idly she takes the book Marco's put down and eyes it critically. "I've never read this."
Before answering, Marco stops to examine the intruder into his sanctuary. He knows, objectively, that he and Robin have several similarities, one of them being that they are closer in age than most of the crew. There's also the tragic backstory and, most importantly, a zealous protectiveness over Monkey D. Luffy. (Though admittedly the last one does go around a lot.) Despite that, in the week the phoenix has spent sailing in Sunny, they have only exchanged a handful of words.
Though, Marco's heard plenty about her -and her Nakamas- from Luffy in the last couple of days. He first heard about her in Rusukaina... before.
"It's from the library," Marco informs her unnecessarily, where else would he have gotten a book? "It's humor, I don't think that's your style." The older pirate doesn't let himself be baited into the conversation. An unpleasant exchange? It does take him a moment, but the abrupt inhale he takes betrays to Robin that he's figured it out. Of course, Caesar, how could Marco forget him?
"It's going to be okay." The breath he takes is shaky, but Marco mostly believes her.
(He wonders, as they sit in silence, an entire universe of questions and preconceptions in between, what does Nico Robin see when he looks at him? How much does she know? Does she judge Marco's weakness? Despise what he's doing to her captain? Does she pity him? Resent him? Or does she barely spare a thought to the stowaway occupying her home?
Marco once had an opinion about Nico Robin, but that was in another life. To him, she's one more of Luffy's colorful Nakama, and he's sure he's heard more about her than she's ever heard about him. His conversation with Brook is at the forefront of his mind? Does she know? Does Luffy know?
Marco doesn't mean it. He doesn't want to hurt Luffy, he knows he should say no, know it because Marco isn't the person Luffy knows. He's not a person anyone knows. Something in Marco, something important, died in Punk Hazard, and it's a matter of time for people to realize it.)
"I don't want to hurt him, I promise," Marco knew maybe his brain was running too fast, jumping over too many hoops to be a reasonable train of thought but Nico Robin's confusion is further proof. Marco's anxious, just anxious. These are not real thoughts. These are not real thoughts. He isn't meant for death, he isn't. And, his throat feels tight even as he tries to push the positive affirmations on top of the chaos. He's not going to hurt Luffy, Marco can't, can't, can't…
"To love someone is to hand them over the power to hurt you, I'm afraid that's not a promise anyone can hope to keep." Her voice seems otherworldly as if instead of Marco's genuine anguish and trauma, they're discussing a faraway notion. It eases him a little, the detachment, but he thinks that -more than purposeful soothing- that is just how Robin thinks of the world. All data and life lessons. Fitting, considering she's a historian. But,
"Love?" he chokes out. Is Marco, who often feels like he drags his feet to even exist mediocrely, even capable of such a thing at this point? He thinks of Luffy, and Marco thinks of him as safety and laughter and everything right with the world. Luffy is a living and breathing representation of everything Punk Hazard tore out from Marco, burned it in blue fire, and agonizing pain. Marco wants almost to bundle him up and keep him secluded from reality forever. Marco trusts Luffy, maybe because when there had been nothing, there had been Luffy. In Marco's awakening, his 'rebirth' after finally leaving hell behind, there had been Luffy. Now, Marco wants that feeling of waking up to the will to live made man every day, an imprint of a kind.
(He also wants Luffy's mouth trailing down his shoulder blades, calloused palms roaming everywhere, dirty whispers in his ears. Luffy's nothing if not thorough, prideful, hungry, but impossibly gentle. Marco wants him, wants him even more than he did back in Rusukaina when it was the younger man chasing away failure in Marco instead. There had been nothing gentle in him then.)
Marco wants Luffy. A case can be made that it is the pirate captain who stubbornly stands between Marco and eternal damnation. Marco needs him if he ever hopes to reclaim whatever he lost or, at least, learn to live without it. Marco would unquestionably die for him, he's been willing to before. Despite the guilt that arises at the thought, he knows better than to call a series of circumstances and attraction Love.
Then, there's a crash coming from the deck, and Marco's on his feet and out the door before Robin can stop him. Something inside him trembles, but… but Luffy.
The call goes as expected, but when they're taking Caesar back down, under Luffy's watchful gaze, the clown makes a mistake. Maybe, Doflamingo's willingness to negotiate for him has fed his ego, perhaps he's been emboldened by his imminent release or now feels secure in his survival. Something erases his common sense, when, as they enter the hallway to take him back down, he very casually inquires:
"How's the phoenix doing?"
It's proof of how tightly wounded Luffy is that such an innocuous question is all it takes for the captain to lose his shit.
Sanji never thought he'd have to kick Luffy out of all people.
Luffy's pushed out on deck. He comes flying through, and he's glowing red. Marco's scared of many things admittedly, far more than he's ever been before, but the Conqueror's Haki is almost comforting in its familiar pressure. Luffy's trembling, in anger and in grief. When Marco comes closer, he stiffens, breathing heavily.
The older man looks down on him, bringing a hand to rest on his hair in a maneuver he hasn't used since his times as a doctor on Whitebeard's tiny homeland. A pair of dark eyes greet him. Luffy tries to soften his brow as he looks at Marco, but the phoenix can still read all the frustration and blood-thirsts hiding behind narrowed eyes. (Clearly, Ace and Luffy shared a temper.) The thought brings a smile to Marco's lips, and it seems to startle Luffy a little. Enough that even though he's clearly confused, he smiles back, and the gathered energy of his will dissipates. His shoulders slump, but his fists remain clenched. Something in Marco stirs in the face of this tiny human, being offended and angry on Marco's behalf.
He catches Roronoa Zoro's eyes over Luffy's head, the swordsman seems determined -but Marco's noticed that he always does. The older man wonders if the young pirate really is that confident or if he's just very good at pretending. Marco was a first mate, too, once. He's very much aware of what the responsibility entails, a first mate must be a man who never falters. He hopes the tiny nod he offers lifts off some of the burden. It is, sadly, not the first time Marco sees Luffy in a rage.
"It's fine," he assures softly, biting back the incredulity. A scant few hours ago, Marco screamed himself raw in a dream. His first thought upon waking up was that nothing would ever be fine again. (Where is all this confidence coming from? The voice that asks is bitter.)
"It isn't," Luffy scoffs.
"You're right," Marco admits, feeling oddly weightless, "but this isn't fine either."
"It's not fair." Marco's eyes tighten, wondering if Luffy can feel the trembles invading his fingers as the blonde pets him.
"It isn't."
Anesthesia?
No, it might slow us down.
"I don't want him here."
"Neither do I."
Shorororo! Marco, you are a scientist's dream.
"But then…!"
"There are things more important." Luffy seems ready to protest. "Like beating Kaido." He bites his lip.
This is Luffy, he's my little brother, Marco! Can you believe he's already worth thirty million berries!
"Nakama are the most important thing of all," he concludes decidedly. Marco doesn't ask him if Nakama –and Marco apparently counts inside this description now– are more important than being Pirate King because he's afraid of the answer. Luffy presses his forehead against Marco's breast bone, it's soft, and his hair tickles. Marco only responds by palming the back of his head and staying still, relishing that he's repaying some measure of the comfort Luffy is so careless with.
He eyes the crew on deck slowly. Nami, Sanji, and Zoro are at a distance, their eyes fixed on Luffy, but as Marco watches, they seem to relax. Trafalgar Law, a figure that Marco finds suspicious on the best of days, is looking straight at him. For a moment, their eyes meet. It's the face of strangers meeting on foreign soil, the silent acknowledgment that they're both equally lost. The surgeon breaks the stare to look at Luffy, and offers Marco a nod, as if in thank you. Marco suddenly feels very tired.
"Bed?" Luffy asks, as if sensing the change in Marco's mood, his words flow into Marco's skin.
"You used to nap on the figurehead, right?" He feels Luffy nod, the younger man inhaling Marco's scent, something he's commented on before. Marco gives the deck another swipe, he's anxious, but it's manageable. Chopper keeps telling him to spend more time outdoors. Besides, for all his attitude, Luffy's still too tightly wound up, it's almost cruel to coup him up inside. "We can go there if you like."
"Yes!" The words are barely out of his mouth when Luffy grabs him by the wrist and starts dragging him, somber mood all but forgotten. Marco's mouth curls up in a lazy smile, Luffy's really something