Zou is… an exciting experience for Marco. Melancholic in many shades, but somewhat peaceful. He knows there was fighting at their arrival, its history sowed into some of Marco's oldest friends and their scarred bodies. Marco had still been unconscious from the bullet wound then. To Chopper's worry, Marco was out for days.
Physically speaking, you were fine the moment I removed the bullet. It was your mind that needed a break.
Marco naps a lot, trying -and failing- to make up for long, sleepless nights. In Zou, it's a mixture between not wanting to be awake and just existing taking a toll on him. He opens his eyes and wishes he hadn't woken up at all. During daylight, he's taken to sequestering himself amongst a particularly lovely tree and spending his days watching over Luffy's crew and avoiding old acquaintances, as the travelers from Wano. The rest of the Straw Hats are vigilant but somewhat distant, unsure, and unwilling about pushing Marco without their captain around. (Or perhaps less invested in Marco than he'd initially thought).
He worries about Luffy endlessly, but the pirate captain eventually arrives on the island looking no worse for the wear and with hunger in his eyes, high on another impossible victory. Alas, before Marco gets to sink in Limbo, he'd have several interactions at the giant elephant's back. Enough so that when Luffy leaves after Sanji, the phoenix leaves with him.
Nami, always fearless, approaches him first.
"Can you fly me down? We need to check the garden." Marco's a phoenix, nesting in blue fire, almost high enough that she -with brown human eyes- must've had issues spotting him. We, she says. Marco wonders if he can say no; he wants to.
Instead, he's roped into taxiing Nami down to the Sunny, and a part of him grudgingly admits that leaving the pressing darkness of the forest in exchange for the warm sea breeze lightens his mood. He wonders if it's a happy coincidence or if Nami's deviousness is multifaceted.
He's been on the Sunny long enough, and as they clip their way to the mandarin trees, gardening tools on hand, he knows better than to complain as Nami insists on putting sunblock on him. Her touch is just as sure as ever, and Marco marvels at it a little. Like the rest of her crewmates, Nami must've watched Marco tear into the Big Mom pirates with no mercy. Incidentally, she must've also watched as Marco was downed by one sea stone bullet and proceeded to freak out and pass out. Neither does he consider his finest moments, and for all that Nami seems unperturbed by the occurrence, shame clings to Marco just as hard as Marco clings to shame.
The first time she'd touched him, only the second pair of kind hands Marco's met as of this point, Chopper's hoofs naturally excluded, he'd marveled at her boldness. For all she knew, Marco was nothing but a test subject, a lab rat. If she guided herself by his reputation, he was a highly dangerous pirate. Experience-wise, he was a man too broken to function.
Her hand reached out to him and did not waver.
Now, to Nami, Marco is not only a killer but also a highly unstable one.
Her eyes are relaxed as she loses herself in the familiar movements, her nails are perfect ovals drifting along his skin. Her hand cups his face, adding extra sunblock on Marco's nose, ears, and cheeks, protecting the most vulnerable areas as if Marco could actually burn, and this wasn't all some strange ritual that Marco's growing more fond and undeserving of everyday.
How come symbolic skincare still makes his eyes water?
The moment is soft in an inexplicable way.
(Marco misses Luffy in one big hit that steals his breath.)
How could she stand him?
"I was in another pirate crew before Luffy recruited me, have you ever heard?" She's putting on gloves when she says it, and Marco must've zoned out at some point because she's standing a couple of feet away as Marco holds on to his shirt with loose fingers. He answers while he puts the dark blue garment on.
"Luffy told me you hated pirates before joining him," Marco replies, he feels the stirrings of curiosity, but they're muted by the rushing in his ears. He's trying to pay attention to Nami, but it feels like he's not really there.
"I did."
"I see, yoi." Nami laughs a dry thing, like stepping on wildflower grass. A laugh that said, no, you don't.
"I was forced to work as a cartographer for the pirate crew that enslaved my island and killed my mother," Nami explains, "I became a thief."
"'Burglar Cat' Nami," he whispers to the tangerine tree's roots as he kneels. His gloves are a simple, muted brown, and they're still stiff from disused. Ussop told him they'd get more comfortable with time, and it made something strange flip inside Marco as he'd nodded his understanding.
"Actually," Nami contradicts, "that name came much later." She doesn't meet his eyes when she speaks, not even Marco's sudden movement to turn to hers catches her attention. She's stopped weeding, staring at the tangerine trees. They come from her home, Marco recalls. "I thought I was scum, tainted, and twisted by the things I'd done and the people I worked for. I made sure to force the people that I loved to treat me like that. I tried to pretend I didn't hate everything I'd done, but I did." It comes softly and viscerally, dampened in resigning that some things do not get better with time. "And then, I joined this crew, and no one here thought I was scum." They thought of me as Nakama, no questions asked they thought of me as someone worth fighting for." Her sigh is a little restless as she pauses. "So that's how, Marco," her tone drips with intent, "because there's nothing about you inherently monstrous, and I don't think there ever will be."
"That's how, yoi?" he echoes, confused. Nami's eyes finally meet his own, they're red-rimmed, but nothing else in her gives away her inner turmoil.
"That's how I can stand touching you because there's no hardship in reaching out when someone needs it. The only one who thinks differently here is you." She glares at him as if angry at Marco's insecurity.
Oh, he realizes, he's asked the question out loud.
"You are not eating, and as long as I am responsible for your food, that cannot be a thing."
The Straw Hat pirates are unsure of what to do with him, without their captain around. Marco spends most days as a bird in a clear message to leave him alone. The straw hats he can stand, but Zou holds inescapable memories and people who'll want answers. Answers Marco doesn't want to give. Sanji is taking an unorthodox approach, that of pissing Marco off.
(Being fair, maybe Marco's missing Luffy. Perhaps he's a little rubbed raw from his talk with Nami. Maybe he feels ashamed that he's a grown-man being lectured about taking care of himself. Maybe he's tired of people caring about him. Why can't they just let him…?
Maybe it's Marco the problem is what he means to say.)
Maybe, Sanji wouldn't have been taken if Marco had been there when Gang Bege arrived, but alas, he and Sanji did fight, and when Marco could've started repaying his debt to the Straw Hats, he was dawdling with his past.
"Marco?"
"Cat Viper, yoi."
Marco has avoided his old friends, not because of a lack of appreciation but rather, too much affection. He doesn't want to face that he rarely feels like the man they knew, doesn't want to accept -as his encounter with the Big Mom pirates proved- that there's something in him that's different. (He especially doesn't want to lose them because Marco cannot bear any more loss.)
They stand around the stone arc of Zou, looking out to sea. If their information is correct, Luffy should be arriving soon enough. Marco's not sure how Luffy will react to Sanji's disappearance, but he stays rooted to the spot. There's something in him aching, but it's more lighthearted than Marco has felt in days.
(He's missed him, but that's just one more thing Marco doesn't dare accept.)
"It's been a long time," the Mink begins, just as wary and awkward as Marco himself feels, it steadies himself. In the midday sun, where shadows are relegated to the deepest part of the forest, it's impossible to stare at the sea when it glares bright white back… Marco almost doesn't remember why he'd been so afraid before.
"Almost too long," Marco answers softly, and because he's feeling reckless and brave, adds: "I'm… sorry. It's been some… rough couple of months."
(He takes a moment to digest that he's trying to pass off a kidnapping, torture, and human experimentation as a rough couple of months. He has to turn around and bite his lip to not laugh.)
"I… might've heard some of it, yes." It stings, but it's also not surprising. It's impossible to know how much details were shared by those who saw Marco arrive from Punk Hazard, Marco's memories on his first days aboard the Sunny are more non-existent than hazy, but it'd be naive to think he'd been granted as much space as he had with no context.
Before the conversation can really start going, there's ruffling from behind him as someone struggles to mount the elephant. Marco perks up at the first glimpse of raven locks that showed themselves, but there's something odd. He thought he'd heard of Luffy's arrival and somewhat looked forward to seeing this ship with Luffy's face on its bow. (It'd make him laugh, and not a lot of things did that these days.) Instead, Luffy had arrived… quietly?
Something was wrong, and it gets worse as they finish climbing with an annoyed huff.
"Marco?" The figure exclaims, bringing Marco's nightmares to life. "Marco!"
Black climbs at the edges of his vision, and he takes a step back and then another. He eyes Cat Viper, who does not share his shock. This is why he's here. He hadn't been looking for Marco; the Mink has been waiting for their new arrival. It's like Marco cannot breathe, and he forces himself to take a deep gulp of air and hold it, lest he fuckin panics.
His voice is horrified when it finally emerges.
"Izou."
Hi guys, I think I finally mapped out how this is going to wrap up. I'm picturing somewhere between 16 to 18 chapters.
Did you guys like the surprise?