During the afternoon, Donna drifts in and out of sleep. She truly feels better, the nurses took the feeding tube out and said her fever is going down, but only now she realizes how much her body had to endure the last few days. She is aching all over, she feels shaky and weak and she is a little nauseous again. She asked one of the nurses about it – a slightly fearful tremble in her voice – but the woman reassured her that there is nothing to worry about at this moment.
Harvey quietly opens the door to Donna's room. He walks towards the bed and looks at her for a few moments. All day his heart has been aching to be with her, and now that he finally is, he feels a desperate need to kiss her. He tries to tell himself that she needs to rest and that he shouldn't disturb her, but he is drawn to her soft skin and gently places a kiss on her forehead. His lips linger for a beat, her hair tickling against his nose and he is overcome by emotion.
Donna feels Harvey's warm breath against her forehead and opens her eyes. "Hey," she sleepily smiles, "you're here." She states the obvious with a warm tone in her voice. He stays quiet and she looks at him, her eyes going over his face, "are you okay?" She asks, having noticed his clenched jaw and teary eyes. She sees him swallow and lifts one hand, stroking her fingers along his jaw, "what's going on? Talk to me." She softly pleads.
Both of Harvey's hands cup Donna's face as he leans in and kisses her. On the lips this time. So gentle, but at the same time with so much passion that she feels goosebumps on her skin. He wishes he could stay in that moment forever, but eventually pulls away, "I almost lost you," he starts, his voice hoarse. He tries to blink away his tears, "I can't lose you." "Harvey…" Donna softly interrupts him. Her bottom lip wobbles and her eyes are teary, but she also smiles at him. He nods, then shakes his head, overwhelmed by everything he is feeling, "I just… you need to know I love you. I can't say it enough… I can't express it well enough." He shrugs. She pushes herself up a little, leaning towards him, "I love you too Harvey," she rests her palm against his chest, "you don't have to express it. I feel it too." She tilts her head up to him. He understands the unspoken question and kisses her softly.
When Harvey breaks the kiss and leans back, Donna leans further forward and plants her lips against his once more. He smiles against her lips before kissing her back. His fingers run through her hair and for a second he forgets everything around them. Then she pulls back, sinking down against the headboard, her face a shade paler than it was before. Still, she is looking at him with concern in her eyes, "you look exhausted." She softly remarks. His suit jacket is unbuttoned, his tie undone and his hair is messed up from running his hand through it too many times.
Donna doesn't say anything more, she simply shifts over and pulls Harvey in bed next to her. It has been a long week for him. An excruciatingly hard and long week between court and her being in the hospital. He hadn't allowed himself time to wind down. He nuzzles his face in the crook of her neck, and closes her eyes. She turns her head, brushing her lips against his forehead. "I miss you," he murmurs. She feels a warmth spreading through her chest, "I miss you too, Harvey." She tells him. He mumbles something in return, she feels his breath against her skin, but it's unintelligible, the way he always sounds just before he falls asleep. She rubs his back, and it's not long before his snores fill her room.
The next morning, Harvey gets on his way after a quick shower, tie not even around his neck yet. He just finishes the knot and pulls the fabric straight when he walks into the hospital. The door to Donna's room is opened and his breath catches in his throat. He clearly remembers the last time that happened and he clenches his fists as he walks in. It's not as bad as he feared. She is in her room. But she is a lot worse than when he left her last night.
Donna leans over the edge of the bed as she throws up in the small container the nurse next to her bed is holding close to her mouth. Her body is shaking with the effort of staying upright. And pain. So much pain every time her diaphragm contracts to rid her stomach of all content.
"Donna…" Harvey utters breathlessly as he rushes to her side. He carefully rests his hand on her shoulder, unable to do anything for her. He rubs small circles with his thumb as she throws up again. Then she sinks back against the pillows. The worst of the nausea has passed and she doesn't have the energy to sit straight any longer. Harvey looks from her pale face to the nurse, who doesn't seem as worried as he thinks she should.
"What's going on?" Harvey isn't sure if his question is directed at Donna or the nurse. Honestly, he doesn't care as long as somebody answers it. Donna stays quiet, taking slow breaths with her eyes still closed. The nurse looks at him, "Mrs. Paulsen-Specter didn't feel good when she woke up this morning. Her vitals look good though, and her temperature is still down, so we don't think there is much to worry about. Although we are running some more tests and doctor Nix will be in later to do a quick check-up." He nods at her and then sighs softly, looking at Donna again.
Harvey slowly sinks down on the edge of the bed. His hand wraps itself around Donna's and he softly squeezes. She opens her eyes, meeting his. He rubs his thumb over her knuckles, "can I do anything for you?" He softly asks, "get you anything?" His mind races and his heart thuds against his ribs. Deep down he knows he shouldn't be so practical, that she doesn't need that from him. He knows that she just needs him, but he hates feeling so powerless.
"No…" Donna softly says, "you just get to court." She looks at him, all vulnerable with wide eyes and freckles standing out against pale skin. He looks at her, "no," he decides then, "I'm not leaving you like this." He can't really do anything for her, but he can be there for her and maybe that's just what he needs to do. She is caught by surprise and honestly she would love nothing more than having him here all day. But he can't. "Harvey," she summons all her energy and willpower to protest him, "you can't-" "I can," he cuts her off, "I'll call Mike right now. And then I'll be back."
Harvey has his phone to his ear before he has even left the room. When Mike picks up, he skips right over the pleasantries, "I can't come in today. Donna is not doing well." There's a short pause before Mike answers, "not doing well?" Harvey releases a long breath, "nauseous. Throwing up. Nurse said she's stable. But… I keep telling her she's more important than any case. And right now is the time to show her. She needs me right now. She doesn't say it in so much words, but I know it, Mike. And I'm not-" "okay," Mike interrupts him, "I'll figure it out." He sounds a little annoyed and Harvey can't blame him, "I'm sorry, Mike. But it's Donna." Mike sighs, "I know. Be with her. And keep us updated."
Donna's eyes flutter open again when she hears Harvey walking back in. While he was on the phone, she managed to roll herself on her side, a position the nurse told her might make it a little less hard if she felt the need to throw up again. She isn't comfortable, lying like this puts a pressure on her surgical wounds. But so did having to sit up and lean over to the side. She is breathing slowly, her right hand slipping under the pillow and her legs curling up a little in an attempt to make herself a little more comfortable. She usually sleeps positioned like this, but even though she is deeply exhausted and she would prefer nothing more than drift off, she feels too horrible to relax.
"Donna…" Harvey mutters as he sits down on the edge of her bed again. He runs his fingers over her arm before she stops it by taking a hold of his hand. She looks at him, "Harvey? I'm scared." Her voice breaks and tears form in her eyes. He nods as he looks at her, "I get that," he murmurs, "me too. But they are keeping a close eye on you," he softly squeezes her hand, "and so am I. You can relax. I'm here and I'm staying here. You'll be okay." He smiles reassuringly.
For a few moments, Harveys words work. The fear that has been pressing down on Donna's chest al morning subsides a little. She feels like she's able to breathe again. Then another wave of nausea crashes over her. She pushes herself up – realizing this does work better than doing it from her back – and leans over the edge. She tries to reach for one of the containers the nurse left on the nightstand, but Harvey beats her to it. He holds it in front of her face while using his other hand to tuck her hair out of her face and behind her ears.
Donna empties what's left in her stomach in the container. It's not much, mostly it's bile, burning in her throat. One of her hands is gripped around the edge of the bed, the other one reaches for Harvey, tightly squeezing his hand once she grabs it. "Shh, Donna," his voice soothes, "easy… Breathe," he gives a soft squeeze back, "take a breath, Donna." She hadn't realized she stopped breathing until he says it. She gasps, much-needed air filling her lungs. She doesn't feel like throwing up any more and she falls back into the pillows, tears streaming down her face.
"Hey… Hey," Harvey puts the container back on the nightstand and reaches for a washcloth that is lying ready. He wipes her face and tries to dry her tears away, but they keep falling. He releases her hand and sees her tensing up, "I'm not going anywhere," he reassures her as he rounds the bed. He gets in with her, lying behind her, pressing his body against hers. She leans back slightly as he kisses her shoulder, "I'm here," he whispers, wrapping his arm around her waist.
Donna rests her hand over Harveys arm, holding on to him. His presence makes her panic fade away. With the panic fading, her breathing slows. She feels Harvey pulling her in a little closer to his chest and she relaxes back. They often sleep like this; pressed close together. The familiarity of his hold makes her feel safe enough to close her eyes. It's as if he senses it, because as soon as she does, he nuzzles his nose against the back of her neck and he presses a soft kiss between her shoulder blades, "go to sleep… I've got you." He murmurs.
Within mere seconds, Donna succumbs to the exhaustion pulling at her aching body. When she fully relaxes in his arms, Harvey is able to relax a little too. His mind still races with worry for her, but when she's calmly sleeping it just seems a little less pressing. He glances at the monitors and confirms what the nurse told him earlier; her vitals are stable. Her body still feels warm and she is certainly still running a fever, but she isn't as scarily hot as she was a few days ago.