Disclaimer: Everything familiar belongs to JE and the creators of Criminal Minds.
Warning: Adult situations, adult language
Chapter 13: Saturday, August 20th, 1930-2200
Beach
Stephanie's POV
I knew the moment Ranger started to blame himself for Julie's injuries. I saw his body change; I saw his muscles tense. I don't understand how he could think that he is at fault. He was in Trenton. There was no way for him to know how poorly Ron and Rachel were treating Julie. She never told me, so I'm sure she didn't tell Ranger. When Ranger walked out of her room, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to go after him. I know that he is hurting, but I didn't want to leave Julie alone. Luckily, Lester and Javier arrived about ten minutes later. I gave Lester the Reader's Digest version of what happened, and he called Marco to find out where Ranger went. Once we got his location on the beach, I went after him. Lester insisted that Rocco escort me until I met up with Ranger. Miami is a relatively safe city but being that I was unfamiliar with the area and didn't speak Spanish, he wanted me going with an escort. I agreed. I didn't want to get lost.
It took Rocco and me about five minutes to find Ranger. Once I stepped onto the beach, I told him he could go. Nothing would happen if I were with Ranger. He told me he'd stay until Ranger dismissed him, but he'd be hiding in the shadows to give us privacy. I sighed but agreed to his terms. I approached Ranger and knew the moment he realized I was near. I guess he gets a tingle as well. I grab his right hand with my left.
"Carlos, are you okay?" I ask, wanting to take away his pain.
"No, Babe, I'm not." Wow. He's showing me his emotions. The man standing next to me isn't Ranger, this man is Carlos.
"You know it's not your fault. You are not to blame for the way Rachel and Ron treated Julie. You couldn't have changed anything." I inform him.
"No, Babe, you're wrong. I could have changed everything. I should never have given up my rights to Julie. I didn't want to give her up, but Rachel forced my hand. I knew at that moment that she was a cunning bitch. She used me, and I allowed her to use me."
"Carlos, what do you mean?" I ask, completely confused by his statement. When he finished telling me his story, I was disgusted with Rachel. I wish she were still alive, so I could smack her across the face for being so ruthless, so callous. She deserved every bit of pain that she went through. To hurt Carlos like that, to force him to give up his daughter, she was a witch. I'm glad Julie is free of her.
"Carlos, you did what you thought was the best for Julie. You were young. Your career was starting. What would you have done with Julie during your deployments? Have her stay with your parents or siblings? Would you have taken her with you as you went out on your deployments? You couldn't be a father to her at that time. You were afraid that one day you wouldn't return home to her. Julie understands why you allowed Ron to adopt her. She's a smart girl. I know that she doesn't hold it against you. She doesn't blame you. She never blamed you for Scrog."
"My head knows that everything you are saying is true. My heart doesn't want to agree, and the mercenary in me disagrees as well.
He places his arm around my waist and pulls me, so I'm standing in front of him, my back to his chest.
"I used to come down here all the time when I was a teenager. One day, when I was seventeen, I was trying to decide what I wanted to do with my life. I didn't want to go to college. I didn't want an office job. I didn't want to be a 9-5 type suit. I also knew that I didn't want to do manual labor, so construction and its related fields were also out. I wanted to protect people, to help them, but with my record, becoming a police officer was out of the picture. Suddenly, I saw two guys running on the beach. They were wearing Army t-shirts. It was right there and then that I decided to enlist. The next day I went down to the local enlistment office to find out the procedure. They told me that if I had a college degree, I could take officer training and rise in the ranks quicker. I took that option. When I graduated high school, I had 30 college credits, almost a full year. I enrolled in Rutgers and took classes year round. I graduated from Rutgers two years early. Once I finished, I enlisted."
As much as I wish the circumstances were different, I'm glad that Carlos is finally starting to open up to me. I enjoy learning more about him as a man. He will always be my Batman, but I want to know Bruce Wayne better. Even though it's a warm night, I suddenly get a chill. Ranger feels me react before he says, "Come on, Babe, let's go home. We both need to sleep. It's been a long day. Who's with Julie?"
"Lester and Javier. Rocco is somewhere on the boardwalk watching my back."
"Good. This part of Miami can be tricky at night." Ranger responds. We walk hand in hand back to the hospital. We decide to go up to say goodnight to Julie.
When we arrive at her room, we see two new guards. Ranger introduces me to them. Their names are Alex and Sean. We enter her room, finding Lester telling her a story about Ranger in his youth. She's smiling, holding her side while trying not to laugh.
"Uncle Lester, you know it hurts to laugh with broken ribs."
"I'm sorry, Carina."
"Papi! Is everything okay?"
"Yes, Princesa, everything is okay. I was angry that I wasn't here to help you, that I failed you. Stephanie told me that it wasn't my fault, but I still find it hard to believe. I'm sorry for walking away from you, tonight, and when I let Ron adopt you."
"Papi, I understand why you did. I know you were overseas a lot and didn't know if you would come home. I get it. I don't blame you."
When did Julie become so wise beyond her years? I know that she will flourish living with Ranger. I imagine waking up in the morning, with Julie and Ranger in the kitchen, having breakfast together, telling each other our plans for the day. Whoa, there, Stephanie. Back up. I'm dating Joe now. I'm not with Ranger. I shouldn't be thinking of a future with Ranger.
"Julie, sweetheart, I'm glad you're feeling okay. You know if you need to talk, you can call me, any time, day or night. I'll come tomorrow with some clothes for you to wear. Do you want to paint your nails?"
"Yes! Please, Stephanie, can we?"
"Of course. What color do you want?"
"Purple, dark purple, maybe with sparkles."
"Okay, Jules, I'll see what I can do," I tell her before kissing her on the forehead. "Goodnight."
I walk out of the room, leaving Ranger there. Lester and Javier accompany me out of the room as well, giving father and daughter some time to talk.
"Les, I need to call Joe. I'm going to step outside."
"I'll go with you. Don't worry, I'll stand far enough away to give you privacy, but I won't let you out of my sight."
"Fine. Thank you, Les." I know that he's doing it because Ranger is hanging on by a thread. He would completely break down if something were to happen to me right now while Julie is in the hospital. I get outside and spot some benches that are well-lit. I motion to Lester that I'm heading over there. He nods and stands against the outside wall of the hospital. I take out my phone and call Joe's number.
The phone rings five times then I get his voicemail. I try again. This time, Joe picks up the phone after the third ring.
"Hello, Detective Morelli." He answers, out of breath. Hmm.
"Hi, Joe."
"Steph! How are things in Miami?"
"Difficult. The things the guys did to Julie are unconscionable. She has broken ribs, a broken arm, tearing, and a gunshot wound to her abdomen. She lost her family but is doing well. She is truly Ranger's daughter."
I hear Joe grunting, breathing heavy. What the fuck?! Is he fucking someone? I hear a moan in the background. Oh my God. It isn't happening to me, not now, not again.
"Joe, what's that noise I hear?"
"Television."
"What are you watching?"
"Some movie, I'm not sure the name."
"Who's in the movie?"
"What the fuck Cupcake? What is with the twenty questions?"
"No, it's not twenty questions. Why does it sound like you are having sex right now?"
"Cupcake, I don't know what you're talking about, I'm in my house alone with Bob."
At that moment I hear a female voice whisper, "Joe, please hang up already and fuck me, baby."
"Joe, who was that?
"No one. I gotta go." He says and hangs up. The tears are streaming down my face as I stare at my phone in disbelief. Who is he with right now? I left his house less than twenty-four hours ago. Besides, we made love all day yesterday. I sit on the bench, staring at the phone in my hand when Lester walks over to me.
"What's wrong, Beautiful?"
"Joe was fucking some skank while he was talking with me. I called him, and he had the nerve to continue to fuck her while on the phone with me, then tried to tell me he was watching television. Les, what is so wrong with me that the men in my life don't want me? Why do they all cheat on me?"
"Beautiful, I don't know what is wrong with Dickie or Morelli, but if I were your man, I'd never let you out of the bedroom."
"But I'm not adventurous. I don't do butt stuff; I don't try new things. I'm vanilla. I'm sure you'd tire of me quickly."
"Stephanie, there are many ways to pleasure a woman that don't require crazy props or positions. And besides, if you were with the right lover, you'd be willing to try new things because you would know that he would never hurt you and that he would stop if you asked him to stop. I would never force anything on you that you didn't want. I know my cousin wouldn't do that either."
"Les, what happens if I give my heart to Ranger and he decides someday that I'm not enough for him, that I'm not adventurous enough, that I'm not exciting enough in the bedroom? How will I survive? I know I can't live without Ranger in my life. If he ever were to reject me, I would kill me."
"Beautiful, my cousin would be a fool ever to leave you. I don't think he would ever reject you. Sometimes in life, you must take the blind leap of faith, be willing to get hurt to know how good love could truly be. My cousin loves you. I know he has for years now. I also know that he said a lot of things to you in the past that I'm sure I hurt you emotionally. I can tell you this, while he was under contract with the government, he would never get involved with you too deeply, afraid that he wouldn't come home to you. But now that his contract is over, I don't see how he won't claim you. Steph, how do you feel about Ranger?"
"I love him. But I also love Joe. I don't know who I want. Joe wants me to be a Burg housewife and mother, which I don't want, but Ranger only needs me as a fuck buddy. I can't do casual sex. I need to be in a clearly defined relationship. Joe is willing to have a relationship with me. Ranger is not.
"Do you want me to find out who's in Morelli's bed?" Lester asks.
I think for a few minutes. Does it matter to me who Joe's fucking? Yes, it does. I want to know. "Please, Les. But don't tell Ranger yet."
"Okay. Let me call Tank." Lester calls Tank, who promises to call Lester as soon as he gets the information requested. By this time, Ranger is exiting the hospital.
"Babe, are you ready to go home?" He asks when he reaches our bench.
"Yes, Ranger, I'm ready," I respond. I get up, and he places his hand on my lower back as we walk towards the car. We get in the car, with Lester and Javier getting in the second SUV. We arrive at the Miami headquarters a short time later. In the garage, we say goodnight to Lester and Javier before we take the elevator up to Ranger's apartment. When we enter, I move to walk towards the bathroom, but instead, Ranger pulls me into the living room.
He sits on the couch pulling me down on his lap. I lean against him, with my head on his shoulder. Sitting like this feels so natural, so perfect like we were meant to be. Snap out of it, Steph, he doesn't do relationships.
"Babe, thank you for coming here with me. Julie was very happy to see you here. I'm happy you're here. I don't know if I would have been able to control my temper without you being here in Miami."
"You're welcome, Carlos. I'd do anything for you, or Julie."
"Did you call Morelli? I don't want him flying down here because you didn't call him." He asks with bitterness in his voice.
"Yes. I did. Everything is fine in Trenton." I reply. I don't want to tell him about my suspicions yet. I want to know who the woman was first if there even was a woman. I want to make sure that I heard correctly.
"Look, Carlos, I'm exhausted. I'm going to go to bed. What time are we going to the hospital tomorrow?" I ask
"I want to be there by eight. I'm planning on going back to Miami PD Headquarters around noon. You can stay with Julie, or you can come with me, it's up to you. I'm probably going to get up early to go to the gym and then a run on the beach. Do you want to join me for the run?"
Normally, I'd say no immediately, but running on the beach sounds wonderful. I love the ocean. "I'll run on the beach with you as long as it's not too many miles."
"How's four?"
"FOUR?!"
"Three?"
"Fine, three I can handle. What about you. Don't you usually run longer than that?"
"I'll run on the treadmill a bit in the gym. I'll get you at six for the run, so you have time to shower and have breakfast after."
I sigh. Waking up that early in the morning doesn't appeal to me, but I'll deal with it. "Okay. Night, Carlos."
"Where are you going?" Ranger asks playfully.
"To my room."
"You're not coming to bed with me?" He asks playfully, but I hear a note of disappointment in his voice.
"Carlos, I'm dating Morelli right now. I'm here as your friend. You have another bedroom available. It's only proper for me to sleep in that room."
"Okay, if that's what you want. You know where I am if you need me." He states before kissing me gently on the lips. "Night, Babe."
"Night, Carlos."
I head to my room and into my bathroom. I change out of my clothes and into one of Ranger's t-shirts. I take off my makeup. I look in my bag and see that I have purple nail polish already. I'll have to stop at the drug store to get some sparkle nail polish for Julie. Once I finish my nighttime beauty routine, I slip into bed. God, he has the same sheets on this bed as he does on his bed in the penthouse.
As I lie in bed, I think about how messed up my life is right now. I'm thirty-four years old and have no direction. I thought Joe and I were in a good place, but it seems that he's cheating on me. It also seems that Ranger and Lester both know about his mistresses. Why didn't they tell me? Now, I'm here in Miami with Ranger, helping him once again with his daughter. I don't know how long he's staying, and there is a possibility that he won't be returning to Trenton. Could I leave my friends and family behind and move here to Miami to be with Ranger and Julie? I don't know.
Julie, she's been hinting that she wants me to be her stepmom. Do I want a daughter, even a stepdaughter? I know that she's already a teenager so that it will be a little easier, but I can barely take care of Rex. I don't want to screw up Julie's life. Besides, does Ranger even want to be with me? He said I could stay if I like, but is that only because he doesn't know how to deal with Julie by himself? Does he want me to step in and raise his daughter, so he doesn't have to figure out how to raise her himself? I know that I've been seeing glimpses of the man behind the blank face today, and I hope that over the next week or two I can get to know Carlos better.
What I do know is that the longer I stay here with Ranger and Julie, the harder it will be for me to leave once I am no longer useful. I need to decide on an exit strategy. As I lie in bed, I decide that I'll stay here for two weeks. On September 4th I'll head back to Trenton unless something changes with Julie. Now that I have that settled in my mind, I can try to fall asleep.
I toss and turn, eventually falling into a fitful sleep.