Disclaimer: Everything familiar belongs to JE.

Warning: Adult Situations

Chapter 16: Sunday, August 21st, 0800-1200

Hospital

Julie's POV

Papi said he would be here around eight. It's now ten after, and he's still not here. I hope everything is alright. He's never late. I have a disgusting breakfast in front of me of cardboard pancakes, dry, burnt toast, and orange juice. I would have preferred a box of cereal. I sigh, pushing my food around. I know if I don't eat, I won't be able to leave anytime soon. Just as I'm about to attempt to eat the sad excuse for breakfast sitting in front of me, Papi walks in with Uncle Javi, Uncle Lester, Uncle Bobby, and Stephanie.

"Sorry we're late, sweetheart, I had to stop at the drug store to get the nail polish you wanted. I also brought you a change of clothes and some other girly stuff." Stephanie said, coming over to me and kissing me on the forehead.

"Thank you, Steph. Hi, Papi. Hi guys." I respond.

"Carina, Maggie sent some breakfast over," Bobby said as he moved the hospital food tray off my table and placed a bag from Rangeman on it instead. He started taking out the food, and I saw that Maggie made me a Western omelet, with a side of bacon, probably turkey bacon, and perfectly toasted bread with butter. To drink she sent some pineapple juice. I love Maggie.

"Oh, much better! Thank you, Bobby." I dig into my omelet, already appreciating the wonderful flavor. I'm halfway through breakfast when the day-shift nurse walks into the room.

"Where did you get that food young lady? You are supposed to eat the food provided to you by the hospital. I'm afraid I'm going to have to take the rest away from you." She barked.

"You will do nothing of the sort. My daughter will not eat that sad excuse of food that the hospital provides. Julie's eggs are organic brown eggs with fresh home-grown vegetables. The toast is multi-grain bread with organic butter. She has organic turkey bacon. She doesn't like orange juice, so she is drinking fresh pineapple juice. Her meal is healthier and more nutritious than that stuff you served her. Bobby, my company's nutritionist, ordered the meal for her. Her doctors permitted him to bring her outside food, especially since its caliber is higher then what you have here." My Papi tells the nurse.

She bristles, tightening her jaw and quickly takes my vitals. Then, she turns heel, storming out of the room. Once she's gone, we all break into laughter. It was funny watching her get flustered.

"Querida, how are you feeling?" Papi asks.

"Okay. Not as much pain today, but I miss Joselyn and RJ."

"I know, Querida, but they didn't feel any pain. It was quick."

I feel better, knowing that they weren't brutalized or tortured. I'm glad that those men didn't violate Joselyn the way they violated me. She was too young and too innocent. "Papi, I'm angry at Mom and Dad, more so Dad. I am so angry that he allowed those men to hurt me while he watched, not caring that I was in pain or that I was hurt. Why did he hate me, Papi?" I ask, trying to hold in my tears.

"I'm sorry, Querida, but I don't know. I can only speculate. I think Ron didn't like the idea that you were my daughter, that you weren't his. I don't think he was fully behind adopting you. I think it's something your mother wanted to keep me out of her life, and in turn, out of yours. I'm sure, after Scrog, Ron realized that because of you, his children could be in danger, which I'm sure made him resent you, even though you are innocent. Querida, if I would have known, I never would have let you stay there."

"I know, Papi. It hurts to know that your parents, who are supposed to love you unconditionally, don't love you. That you are a burden to them, that they wish you were never born. I know Mom wished I was never born. If it weren't for your money, she would have given me up instead. I was never good enough for her, especially since Scrog. If I got a 98 on a test, she'd yell at me because it wasn't a 99 or 100. I made the junior varsity soccer team, but she felt I should be on the varsity team. Everything I did was wrong. Every activity I participated in was wrong. Why am I a such a screw-up, Papi?"

"Julie, you are perfect, in every way. You are a unique individual. As long as you try your hardest, you are not a screw-up. I love you; just the way you are." Papi tells me.

"Jules, I know how you feel. Julie, try not to let the words they told you to get you down. You need to believe in yourself and let the people who believe in you in your life. You need to get rid of those who don't support you now before you start to believe their assessment of you. My parents have never supported me because I am different. They claim they want me to be happy, but they don't. They want me to live the life they envisioned for me, which I can't do because it will kill me. Julie, listen to your father. You are perfect. You don't need to change. Always give all your effort, and you will succeed."

"What are you talking about, Steph? You're my hero. I want to be like you when I grow up, fearless, courageous, caring, sweet, and pretty."

"Jules, I'm none of those things. I'm a disaster; I'm inept. I can't cook or clean. I roll around in garbage regularly. I don't plan anything. Jules, I'm not someone you should be looking to emulate."

"No, Stephanie, you're wrong. Why do you need to cook or clean? You can hire someone to do those chores. You may roll around in garbage, but you always get your skip. Yes, maybe you should plan better sometimes, but you are not a disaster or inept. If you were, I wouldn't be in this room right now. Scrog would have killed me, and mostly likely Papi." I say to her, trying to get her to understand how much I love her.

"Babe, Julie's right. You are too hard on yourself."

The door opens as Dr. Farren walks into Julie's room. "How's my favorite patient doing today?"

"I'm a little sore, Dr. Farren, but when can I go home. I don't want to be here. I want to go to the funerals for my family. I want to be with Papi. When can I leave?"

"Sweetie, your vitals are looking good, and you are healing physically. We need to make sure that you can eat and hold down your food. If at this time tomorrow everything is still good, then I will release you. So, young lady, you are here for a minimum of twenty-four hours."

I sigh, I hate being in a hospital. I want to cry; I want to be alone. I need to deal with the nightmares. I can't do that here with nurses coming in every five minutes, or so it seems. I know I need to start seeing my therapist again, Dr. Serena Belliveau. Serena helped me deal with killing Scrog; she helped me figure out how to develop a relationship with Papi. Now, she will help me start my life over. I watch Papi check his watch and look at Uncle Lester and Uncle Bobby. They're doing their silent communication again. I look at Steph, and we roll our eyes. They think we don't see their interactions.

"Julie, Uncle Lester and I are working with the police and the FBI. We need to leave now. Stephanie will stay here with you until after lunch. Then she and Uncle Javier are going to go shopping for new clothes for you. She's going to get you enough stuff to last a few weeks. Once your ribs heal a little, and we find out who hurt you, then you can go shopping with her for whatever you want. Is that okay?"

"Yes, Papi, that's fine. I don't want to go home. But Joselyn and RJ both had stuffed animals that they couldn't sleep without holding. Joselyn's is a yellow duck and RJs is Thomas the Train. Can you get them? I want them to have them in their coffin. Oh, RJ and Joselyn each also had a bunny, RJ's is blue, and Joselyn's is pink. Can you get them for me? I want to keep them. I also need my black and white puppy, Oreo."

"Princesa, write down whatever you need from the house, and I'll get everything for you. You don't have to go back if you don't want to go there."

"Thank you. Also, can you call Serena for me?"

"Yes, Julie, I will. Do you want to see her tomorrow?"

"Yes, Papi. I miss her."

"I know, Princesa. I'll make sure she's there for you tomorrow when you get home. Now, relax and have some fun with Steph."

"Bye, Papi, Uncle Lester and Uncle Bobby."

"Carina, I'll be outside your door. Call me if you need anything." Uncle Javi said, not wanting to intrude upon our girl time. Once my uncles left the room, it was time to start working on Stephanie.

"Steph, are you and Papi dating yet?"

"No, Jules, we're not. I'm dating Joe."

"Why? You always tell me how he yells at you. You tell me he wants to change you. Why do you stay with him?"

She looks at me as though she doesn't want to answer, but I'll keep pestering her until she does. I don't get grown-ups. Why are they so stupid?

"I guess because he's willing to give himself to me, to give me a commitment. I'm not sure if I want to get married, but I want to be in a relationship that is a relationship, were both parties publicly acknowledge their love to the other. I can't be in a casual relationship."

"You know Papi loves you."

"In his way, Jules. The way he loves me is not enough." Steph replies. "Who's Serena?"

I laugh. I see the jealousy in Steph's eyes. "Dr. Serena Belliveau. She was my therapist after Scrog. I want to talk to her again to deal with everything. Stephanie, were you ever raped?"

Once I asked, I knew I shouldn't have asked. That's not something you say to someone.

"Yes, Julie I was when I was in college. I went to a party at a frat house, and three guys attacked me. I was scared. I didn't fight back, though I wanted to fight. After it happened, I left the house, went back to my dorm, and showered. I never reported it. I wasn't a virgin, though. I had had sex before, so it didn't hurt too much. I wanted to feel safe. When I met Dickie, my ex-husband, he made me feel safe. That's why I married him. Not because I loved him, but because I felt safe in his arms. Unfortunately, it was an illusion, because he was cheating on me."

"Will I ever be able to have sex without thinking about what happened?"

"Someday, Julie, you will. The first few times I tried to have sex after the rape was unsuccessful. I would start and then have to stop. Unfortunately, men don't always respect boundaries. I got called a lot of unflattering things by various men, from being a tease to a slut. It was hard to deal with, but I did. When you find the right man, he'll be patient with you, allow you to determine when you are ready. I met such a guy about six months after I divorced my ex-husband. His name was Tom. He allowed me to dictate how far I wanted to go with him. When I was ready, he was gentle with me. Unfortunately, his father died before we could see where our relationship would go, and he had to move back to Seattle. But, Julie, you're only 14. You have plenty of time before you should even think about having sex."

I sigh, I know I'm too young to be worried about sex, and to be honest, before the incident I didn't even think about it. But now, I'm scared. I was so not ready for sex, but I guess it doesn't matter. Besides, once people find out what happened, no one will want to date me.

"Stephanie, when the boys find out what happened, do you think they will still want to date me, or will they think I'm a slut?"

"Oh Julie, the good guys, the ones who are worthy, will want to be with you because you are a wonderful, intelligent, caring young lady. Only the jerks who aren't worth your time will hold it against you. Now, stop worrying so much. Let's fix your hair and get you dressed in some normal clothes. Then, I'll paint your nails. Tell me what type of clothes you want. I won't get a lot. I'll get enough to last about a month. Then, we'll get your father to take us shopping so you can pick out your clothes."

"That sounds great, Stephanie," I say. "Steph, I'm I pregnant?"

"I checked with your doctor. They gave you the morning after pill as a precaution when you arrived in the hospital. You are fine."

I sighed with relief. The next two hours went by quickly, and I finally dare to ask Stephanie what I want to know. "Stephanie, do you love my father?"

"Honestly, Julie, I love him a lot, but he doesn't love me. He doesn't give me his whole heart. He only gives me part of his heart. I don't know if he can ever give me his entire being. I need all of him."

"Stephanie, if my father could give you that, would you marry him?"

"Jules, why do you want to know?"

"Because I want you to be my stepmom. You treat me much better than my Mom did, you understand me like my Mom never did, and you make Papi happy."

"Sweetheart, I don't know. Your father doesn't want to get married, and frankly, I'm not sure I want to get married again. But, regardless of our status as a couple or not, I will always be here for you, Julie."

I give Stephanie a tentative one-armed hug. I'm tired now. I've overexerted myself with Stephanie this morning. I start to yawn.

"Okay, Miss Julie, time to get some rest. Javier and I are heading to the mall. I got your requests, sizes and your father's credit card. I'll see you later tonight. Let me know if you want anything special. Rest, Julie."

"Okay, Steph. Have fun. Make sure to buy something for yourself." I tell her before I close my eyes, falling asleep before Stephanie leaves the room.