hello everyoneeee! I'm back with yet another Fitzsimmons fanfic, because it seems like I just can't stop with these two. I'll let you decide if it's a good thing or not...
Anyway! I've had this in my mind for the past two days, and I really wanted to write it and get to post the first chapter at least before the season 7 premiere. I think there will be one additional chapter, and maybe an epilogue, but we'll see about that.
This is my personal take on the ending of the show, and how Fitzsimmons could eventually leave SHIELD and get to their quiet little cottage in Perthshire.
The title is from the song "Patient Love" from Passenger, just because it's in my Fitzsimmons playlist in Spotify aaaand because I'm the worst at titles. Some things never change!
As always, this is unbeta'd and English isn't my first language so I'm really sorry for all the mistakes in my text. please let me know if you liked it, it would mean a lot! xx
Knowing that Jemma had married him when he'd been asleep somewhere in space felt weird. In a way, Fitz supposed that it was weird to be jealous of himself, but he couldn't help the pang in his chest every time he looked down at Jemma's hands and saw a ring he didn't remember sliding there. There were a lot of things he'd missed, and the way Daisy avoided his gaze or the way Mack looked at him sadly made him sad, too. He'd heard about what he'd done, about the Doctor and about his death, but it was something else to face the consequences of it all. Him and Daisy had talked, afterwards. When it didn't solve everything, it was nice to know that she didn't blame the "current" him for things he'd never done, even if she needed time to get used to the idea of him around her again. It hurt, when all he wanted to do was hug her tight and tell her how much he'd missed her even if he'd only been asleep for a year. Then, when it came to Coulson, the hole in his chest was only made deeper when he thought about the man. He hadn't been here for his last days, and he'd never get this back. Not even with the super new and advanced LMD that had all of the original Coulson's memories who'd helped them defeat the Chronicoms.
But after defeating yet another alien threat and returning to the Lighthouse, realizing that for the first time in what felt like forever that no life threatening events were lurking around the corners of their base, Fitz realized that there was one thing he could actually fix. Throwing a glance at Jemma's hands as she talked to Daisy and LMD Coulson (he should really get used to calling him Coulson, no matter how weird it felt), Fitz left the room quietly to find the only person he hadn't apologized to yet. When he couldn't apologize properly for his past (future?) self's actions, he'd tried to make amends as much as he could with everyone. But there was one thing, or rather person, whom he hadn't talked to since they'd fought a few weeks back. The entire war against the Chronicoms had exhausted everyone mentally and physically, so Fitz knew precisely where to look for when he walked towards the residential area of the Lighthouse. As much as he missed the Playground, there was something nice about the Lighthouse. Maybe it was because he'd never known it in the future, never actually seen the way people lived in it surrounded by alien threats, but he quite liked the living quarters. Of course he had one of the biggest since he and Jemma were officially together, but he'd seen the other ones and loved them just as much. No matter what, wherever Jemma went was home to him.
Arriving in front of the quarters he was looking for, Fitz raised his fist to knock on the door. Waiting for an audible confirmation that he could enter, he slipped inside quietly. Deke was sitting crossed legged on his bed, looking surprised to see him of all people as Fitz closed the door behind him and leaned against it.
"Fitz?" Deke asked, a little numbly.
"Hey, Deke. Got a moment?"
The other man nodded, and Fitz felt comfortable enough to sit at the desk not far from the bed, pulling the chair so that he was facing his grandson. The timeline and future story were still quite confused in his mind, and to be quite honest with himself Fitz hadn't really stopped to think about Deke, and what it meant for him and Jemma. When he'd asked her, before this entire Chronicom mess, she'd described Deke as the proof that they were invincible. Now however, he realized that it was also a little more than that. They had a grandson, someone who was a part of their family and was pushed into the world by their own daughter. Fitz had realized as soon as the words left his mouth that he'd been too hard on Deke when he'd fought with him, irritation leaving no place for rationalisation, but Deke had been by their side from the beginning for the Chronicom war to the very end. He'd never once doubted the team who hadn't trust him enough to tell him that his own grandparent had died, and he'd been a valuable asset for the entire ride, too.
"I'm sorry" Fitz finally said, looking at him in the eyes. "For what I said, all those weeks ago. For being… Mean."
Deke's eyes betrayed his surprise. Fitz hadn't really asked how his past (future?) self and Deke got along, but by the happy smiles on Jemma's face and the hopeful look on Deke's when they'd talked, he figured the other vision of himself hadn't been tender on him either.
"Thank you?" Deke replied, wary. "That's… actually nice of you to say."
"I figured the other version of me had done some messed up things with you, too" Fitz added, "so I bet he hasn't apologized for his actions, either. But I also owe you an apology for how I treated you, after that. You didn't deserve what I said."
Deke huffed, shoulders reflexively going up in a defense mechanism Fitz recognized immediately. It was weird, to see someone with the same habits from the outside. He wondered what kind of other things Deke had picked up from his side of the family, and which one he'd gotten from Jemma's.
"I kind of did though" Deke admitted, looking down at his hands resting on his crossed legs. "Stealing SHIELD's tech? Making money out of it? That was very, very uncool."
"It kinda was" Fitz admitted in a whisper.
"But I really wanted… I just wanted to do something, you know?" Deke kept going, still not looking up. "I had no one, growing up. My mom… Well I suppose I can say this now, since time isn't fixed and all. My mom died killed by a Kree when I was 9, and when my dad died… I was alone for a long time after that. I never got a family to take care of me, I never once had someone tell me they were proud of what I was becoming, unlike my mom before me. She had you guys, and I had… I just had myself."
He took a deep breath, shaking his head self deprecatingly.
"When I created this company, people started to like me. Even if just for what I made, people actually listened to me. It felt good, and I never wanted it to stop."
Fitz's heart clenched in his chest. He wasn't close to Deke, not really, but he couldn't deny that he was family. For the first time in forever, they weren't in immediate danger and they had time for themselves. And Fitz intended to spend time learning who his grandson was, even if he did seem a little weird.
"I won't pretend to understand how the future was, Deke" Fitz sighed, resting his elbows on his thighs as he bent over slightly. "But you and I? We both got a second chance."
He turned his head, looking around the place. Deke didn't have much, apart from a few engineering books and a bunch of lemons and various snacks on his desk, and somehow Fitz felt like it was yet another proof that he didn't feel like a part of the team. If he was to leave in the morning, he'd have nothing to leave behind.
"I'm not saying we're gonna be best buddies" Fitz insisted, narrowing his eyes at him. "But I think we can try... I think we should start over."
Deke's face broke into a smile. "I'd like that, bobo."
"Ugh. Please just call me Fitz, alright?"
"Alright… Fitz."
Running a hand down his face, Fitz sat up straighter again.
"And I thought… I thought you could actually help me with something, now that we've been over the awkward family reunion part."
Deke looked suspicious for a second. "Okay?"
"I wanna marry Jemma again."
This time, Deke's surprise was visible on his face.
"I didn't really get to, since I was asleep in space" Fitz kept going, waving his hands around. "And, well. I kind of want to."
"That's so cool" Deke said immediately, getting up. "I have tons of ideas. You know, I didn't know you guys actually were my grandparents when I attended your wedding, so I feel like another one could actually be great for me too. Also Jemma wanted you in a kilt, so…"
"Deke" Fitz stopped him immediately. "We're not having a ceremony or anything. I wanna do it for the two of us."
"Oh."
"We already have the rings and everything. I just want…."
"Something that's yours" Deke finished, nodding. "I understand, I think. I can help with that." He sat down again.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I mean, I'm not the one you should go to for relationship advices since my girlfriend turned out to be a psychopath and the girl I like barely tolerates me, but don't you go ask robot Coulson or Mack. They're even worse than I am." He stopped, sighing. "But the whole castle in Scotland thing? I meant it."
Fitz felt his lips stretch around a smile.
"Really?"
"Yeah!" Deke nodded. "You'll need to ask Mack for some vacation time, but… I guess you both deserve a break, don't you think? After all, we've all just kind of saved the world again."
Fitz could only agree. The entire team was worn out by the previous events, and they'd just saved the world from yet another threat. At this point, Coulson had even made a joke about them being a part of the unofficial Avengers team, and it was kind of true. When the Avengers had been busy fighting off Thanos around the galaxy, they'd fought an entire race of alien and won. They deserved some rest, all of them.
"That'd be… pretty amazing, actually" he finally told Deke. "Thank you."
"So you guys want that castle?" Deke asked, pulling out his phone from his jacket. "Cause I can totally buy you one."
"Maybe not an entire castle" Fitz immediately countered, raising his hands in warning. "Just… maybe rent a cottage or something like this? Something private, in Perthshire."
The other man seemed happy enough to do so, eyes flickering to his phone screen as he started typing frantically. "You got it, man."
"Hey, Deke?" Fitz eventually said as he got up to go talk to Mack. "Thank you, for doing this. It really means a lot."
Deke looked up, surprise clear on his face once again. His face broke into a huge grin as he jumped to his feet, enveloping Fitz into an awkward hug that lasted long enough to make them both blush in embarrassment.
"I'm happy to" Deke finally said as he pulled back, eyes meeting Fitz's. "Really. And it means a lot, that you uh… Came here. To see me."
There was definitely a familiar awkwardness in the way Deke acted around people he cared about, something that Fitz recognized oh so well. It was almost like looking into a mirror as Deke stepped back, fumbling awkwardly with his hands. Fitz couldn't help but grin, nodding as he stepped outside of the room and walked towards Mack's office.
To no one's surprise, Mack had been more than glad to grant Fitz and Simmons two whole weeks off. After a remark about Jemma and the other Fitz not having a proper honeymoon (which warmed Fitz's heart, sue him), he'd signed their leave paper quickly and arranged for him to announce it to Jemma himself. Fitz still wanted it to be a surprise, something that came from him and no one else, and Mack had no objections. He figured the director would eventually warn the team, but he had no doubts that everyone would keep it secret. He'd been given a few days' notice, which would leave time for Deke to arrange everything and for the entire team to breathe a little, too.
Getting Jemma on board was surprisingly easy. Fitz ignored the way his stomach clenched with butterflies as she simply nodded and started packing her backs, not once asking questions and trusting him blindly once again. They'd often had the opportunity to give their life for each other, and did so, but it always felt heart wrenchingly touching to see how much they trusted each other in their daily lives, too.
"Do I need to take a bathing suit?" Jemma asked as she packed, throwing him a glance.
Fitz was sitting on the bed, back against the headboard as he watched her pack, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. She was so gorgeous it almost felt unreal sometimes, to know that he'd married her and that he'd get to wake up next to her for the rest of their days. If the bloody cosmos didn't separate them once again.
"I don't think you'll need it" he admitted with a shrug. "But you can always take it if you want."
She seemed to consider it for a while, before putting it back on her drawer.
"I'll just swim naked then" she said, winking at him.
"Jemma" he warned in a groan. "Don't do this to me."
Ever since they'd left space, they didn't have much time to themselves. After being taken hostage by the chronicoms, escaping the alien threat on their way back to Earth and saving the world a couple of times, it wasn't like they'd had any intimacy to begin with, apart from a few heated makeouts sessions in between life threatening events. For Fitz, it had been over a year and a half since he'd last held his wife, and that was without even adding the time they'd spent in the Framework. His stomach lurched as he thought about Aida, and the fact that before her, the only memory of intimacy he'd had was with Jemma and Jemma only. She'd taken this away from him as well, and he hated that he could remember every moment he'd spent with her as clearly as he remembered the ones he'd spent with Jemma.
"Fitz?" Jemma asked, sitting by his side on the bed.
He hadn't realized he was lost in his thoughts, hands clenched on the bedding. Jemma put a reassuring hand on his arm, caressing the skin there with her thumb in a soothing movement.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
She'd been so patient with him from the moment they'd found each other in space. After admitting he'd died on her in their mind prison, there hadn't been any secrets between the two of them, for which he was very grateful. But he still felt like he didn't deserve any of it.
"I just… I was thinking about Ophelia" he admitted in a strangled voice.
He could feel the way Jemma tensed, even if she tried to repress it. "What about her?" she asked instead, voice calm.
"I just… I hate that I remember her" he admitted, pushing his face against Jemma's shoulder, inhaling her sweet and flowery scent as he did so. "for me, the Framework wasn't that long ago. Afterwards, I spent six month locked up and all I could think about was you, and how to find you. But she was still there, at the back of my mind."
Jemma's fingers plunged in his curls as she scratched his scalp lightly, something she knew he liked and relaxed him.
"Before her, before the Framework" he kept going "There was only you. All my memories of love and sex and intimacy, they were linked to you. Now, I've got Ophelia. It wasn't anything like what we've got, just… a very pale comparison, but it's still in my mind. I hate that I have that."
"Oh, Fitz" Jemma whispered, squeezing him a little tighter. "You know she's the one who put this in your head, right? It's not your fault. You never wanted that."
"But I wanted… I wanted a world in which my father was proud of me, and she knew that. And that world… that world didn't have you in it. How could any version of me even stomach the idea of not having you by my side?"
Jemma let out a strangled noise at this, pushing a finger under his chin to raise his head and kiss him deeply. The way their lips moved against each other were clear reminder of their desperation as there was no finesse and romance in the kiss. But they kissed until their breaths were short, and finally Jemma pushed her forehead against Fitz's when they parted.
"I'm so sorry" she said in a whisper. "I know you still blame yourself for the Framework, for Aida, for everything. But I can't even begin to comprehend what it must have been like to find yourself alone, locked up in a prison right after all of this."
She took a deep breath, realizing she was shaking a little. She closed her eyes, rubbing the tip of her nose against Fitz's as their breaths mingled.
"When we woke up in the future… I felt like a part of me had been ripped off. Waking up without you after the Framework was the hardest thing I had to go though, because after all we'd seen and lived through in this Hellish universe, all I wanted was for you to never let me go. I craved you, your arms and your presence so much."
"Jemma" Fitz sobbed, circling her hips with his arms as he pulled her closer, allowing her to straddle him. "I'm so sorry."
"I got you back" she kept going, her arms locked around his neck as she spoke against the skin of his cheek "or at least a harder, older version of you. I love you, Fitz, and I love all of you. But six months in the prison and almost 80 years in space change a man, and I didn't realize it until it was too late. I'm not blaming him, or you, but we should… We should have talked about all of it, before. Like we did in that mind prison."
He nodded immediately. Fitz knew the outcome of him closing himself off, and there was no way he'd risk hurting Jemma or the team ever again. He wouldn't be able to face himself after that, the memory of him shooting her in the Framework way too fresh in his mind.
"I never want to keep anything from you, ever again" he said, closing his eyes to fight his tears. "I promise."
Jemma's hand went back to petting his hair, and he felt her hum. "I know. I promise, too."
They stayed like this for a while, probably longer than they should have considering the things they still had to do before leaving in the morning. But neither of them wanted to let go, and for a while they just kept holding each other close, pretending the outside world didn't exist.
"Hey, Fitz."
Fitz froze in the middle of the doorway, fingers tightening on the handle of the bag he was holding.
"Hey, Daisy" he said as he turned around slowly, wary.
She stood a handful of feet away from him, her hands clasped together as she rocked her weight from one foot to the other. The discomfort was obvious on her face, and Fitz was pretty sure his was an exact match.
"I just wanted to wish you a good trip." she said, creeping a little closer. She opened her palm, revealing a USB key, that she held towards him. "I thought… I made this for you. Mack filmed, the wedding I mean. I know... " she stopped, frowning. "I know this is all difficult, for you. And I thought… I know what you're gonna do. Deke told me. I thought it could be a good thing for you to have this, still."
Taking the USB key gently, Fitz nodded. His throat was tight, and he had to swallow a few times to be able to answer.
"Thank you" he said. "I know… I know it must be hard, for you, to talk to me."
Daisy forced a small smile. "Yeah, well. You're not… You're not him, even if you are. This is all very confusing, but I know you're not the one who..."
"Yeah" Fitz finished lamely. "I'm sorry. I know I've said this before but… I am. I woke up after missing a year of my life, and I come back to all the bad things other me did. It's a little too much, sometimes."
"Which is why you wanted to go away for a little while, with Simmons."
He nodded.
"Yeah. I haven't missed much, but I've missed so much still. It's… I need something that will be ours, you know?"
This time, Daisy's smile was a little more sincere. "Yeah, I know. You guys deserve it, too."
She seemed to hesitate for a while, before she opened her arms and hugged him close. Fitz felt himself tense at the touch, before relaxing when he realized that she felt comfortable enough to push her head against his shoulder and close her eyes.
"I miss you" she said quietly, before stepping back. "I miss you, Fitz. And… I really hope we'll get to catch up, when you come back."
Fitz smiled. "Me too."
Deke had been very secretive when it came to the entire trip, which mean that Fitz himself had no idea where exactly in Perthshire they'd end up as they walked hand in hand into the jet. May had offered to take them with a secretive smile, and they'd both been too surprised to say anything. After hugging Yoyo, Mack, Daisy and Coulson goodbye, rolling their eyes at the way they fussed over the both of them, they'd thanked Deke again and stepped into the Quinjet. The flight to Scotland was short, and they fell asleep against each other for the better part. When May woke them, they both had a sore neck and stiff members, but their smiles were bigger than ever.
"This is it" May announced as the Quinjet landed. "This is the address Deke gave me. You should find your way from there."
"Are you sure?" Jemma said, ever so practical. "He didn't give any more instructions?"
"Jems" Fitz whispered, kissing her temple. "Trust him."
She scoffed in response. "Of course you would be the one to tell me to relax when it comes to Deke. How the tables have turned."
May lowered the lamp with a smile, coming up to stand beside them.
"It's gonna be great" she said, patting Fitz on the shoulder. "Have fun, you two, okay? I don't wanna see your faces in two weeks."
She pulled Jemma into a quick hug, whispering something in her ear that Fitz couldn't quite hear. Then, she turned towards him and unexpectedly pulled him into a hug as well, handing him a set of keys before turning her heels around and going back into the cockpit.
"Right" Fitz said, a little confused as he looked at Jemma. "Shall we, then?"
Hand in hand, they left the Quinjet, only to find themselves on a stone pathway right in front of a beautiful meadow full of red poppies. It took them a little time to gather their surroundings, and as soon as the Quinjet was up in the sky again, they rotated on their axis to look around. On their right, they could see what looked like a small river, surrounded by big trees and even more fields spread all around them. They were right next to a road, and if Jemma squinted her eyes hard enough, she could see the beginning of a small town at its end. They quickly located the small cottage on their left, not too far from the river and right outside the poppies field, and Fitz couldn't help but smile as his eyes landed on where they'd stay. When he'd been afraid that Deke would overdo (he had, after all, a flair for the dramatic), it was simply perfect. The small cottage looked old enough to be authentic but definitely renovated, and almost looked like something out of a children's book. The orange brick walls were highlighted by stone roofing tiles in a victorian era style, but big windows gave it a more modern look. Fitz had no doubts he'd find the inside completely renovated and up to date for the two of them, and he silently sent a wave of gratitude towards his grandson.
"Fitz" Jemma whispered, squeezing his hand. As he looked down at her, Fitz could see the tears in her eyes as she looked at the cottage and its small garden, filled with flowers as well. "It's beautiful."
Fitz smiled, never taking his eyes off of her. "Yeah, it really is." He could feel his heart swell in his chest, and he didn't remember the last time he'd been so happy.
The garden of the cottage was separated from the rest of the field with white wooden fences, and as they came closer, Fitz could decipher a swing in it, as well as a cosy romantic pavillon. A few meters away from the cottage stood an old grange, closed with a padlock. They followed the path leading them to the cottage, walking through the poppies with smiles on their faces, Jemma's hand squeezing Fitz's a little more firmly. When they arrived in front of the door, Fitz put their luggage on the floor just long enough to insert one of the keys May had given him into the lock, and opened the door.
"Oh my God" Jemma whispered as soon as she stepped inside.
They left their luggage in the entrance once they'd stepped inside and closed the door behind them, taking everything in. The cottage wasn't big from the outside, but it looked extremely cosy once inside. The big windows were most definitely a new addition, and sunlight streamed through them, lightening up the room entirely. The ground floor was one big room from what they could see, combining a big living room and an open kitchen. On the wall opposite them was a chimney, carved into the stone red wall and surrounded by two big bookshelves filled with scientific books and reviews. Under one of the big windows had been installed a window seat with thick cushions, and the middle of the room was occupied by a big sofa and a wooden coffee table. A big flat screen TV sat on top of the chimney facing the sofa, and the other side of the room was filled with a classic but vintage kitchen. With a pastel blue fridge, vintage wooden sideboards and table as well as a build in stove, it was both incredibly modern and typically Scottish. Various flowers and other decorative touches had been put here and there, as well as a few fluffy rugs and even more pillows. Some thick blankets had been rolled and put on the couch, and Jemma felt her toes curl at the thought of curling up on the huge sofa next to Fitz when night came.
She shook her head in disbelief. "This is…"
"Incredible" Fitz finished for her.
They both looked at each other before bursting into giggles, leaning into one another as they laughed.
"This is wonderful" Jemma said once again, looking around once more.
The brown wooden floor was too immaculate for them to keep their shoes on, and they both took them off as they walked around the place to explore.
"This is everything I could have ever dreamed of" Jemma mumbled almost to herself as she stroked the back of the couch with her hand. "A place like this, for the both of us. All that's missing is a few pictures of us and the team, and this is exactly where I pictured our life one day."
Fitz felt his stomach clench pleasantly. "Me too" he whispered.
They eventually realized that the ground floor also included a small toilet, as well as a closet big enough for the two of them to hang more clothes than they had combined. With an excited giggle, Jemma caught Fitz's hand in hers as she walked up the stairs, leading them to the first and only floor of the house. There, they found themselves in a small corridor leading them to 4 different rooms. The closest to the stairs was a bathroom, and Jemma's breath caught as she laid eyes on the big bathtub. The bathroom was covered in tongue and groove panelling in greenish blue shade, contrasting with the white bathtub, shower on the opposite side, sink and toilet. Towels as well as various beauty products had been disposed on one of the small tables next to the sink, and Jemma felt her lips stretch into a smile.
"I can think of so many different ways for us to enjoy this bathtub" she whispered as she turned around in Fitz's embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck as he kissed her.
The door right next to the bathroom led to a master bedroom, and Fitz couldn't help but smile as he caught sight of the exposed wood and beamed ceiling. His mum used to have the exact same one in her own bedroom, and he remembered loving it as a child. The wooden floor matched the beams, and the room was rather small as filled with a gigantic double bed, two nightstands and a wardrobe. It didn't feel crowded though, just the right amount of cosy like the rest of the place so far. Jemma sighed happily as she curled her toes in the carpet by the side of the bed, caressing the pillows and sheets with the tip of her fingers. Fitz couldn't help but join her, entwining their fingers on the soft linen as he kissed the top of her head, enjoying the simple moment.
"Wanna see the rest?" Jemma eventually asked after a couple of minutes of enjoying their embrace, hearts beating as one.
"Lead the way, wife."
The third door, right in front of the main bedroom, led to a vast office that had been turned into what resembled a lab. A lot bigger than the bedroom, it had a wooden desk as well as a small shelf filled with scientific reviews tucked in the corner of the room, when the rest had been turned into a home lab. Fitz was almost entirely sure that there was a holographic table as well. Deke really did think about everything, even if it did include them working during their vacations. Maybe he'd figured they'd miss their lab at some point, which was most likely to happen. After all, they had never really been away for so long, just the two of them. Just as they closed the door, Jemma noted the small stuffed monkey propped by the window, and smiled.
Finally, they opened the fourth and last door, and both their breaths stuck in their throat as they laid eyes inside. There was no mistaking the fact that it had been converted in a child's room. The white wooden floor covered with colorful rugs contrasted with the wood beamed ceiling, matching the ones in the master bedroom. There was a rocking chair by the window, covered with a blanket and matching pillows, and a round crib against the wall not too far from it. The light green tone of the room matched the hints of brown from the wood of the crib as well as small cabinet serving as a changing table. Fresh flowers had been disposed next to children's book on a little shelf, and Fitz immediately spotted a play mat surrounded by cushions on the floor as well as a toy's chest.
"They're scientific books" Jemma whispered as she approached the shelf, caressing the spine of one of the books with the tip of her finger. "They're scientific books for children. One of them is about astronomy, too."
Fitz had no idea what to reply to that. His throat felt unusually tight since he'd stepped into the room, and he didn't know if he was ready to put a word on the feelings going through his mind at the moment. As he looked at Jemma walk around the room, touching every baby related item with a pensive look on her face, he felt his stomach clench with something he'd never really considered seriously before. Of course he'd thought about having kids with Jemma, and more than once. Even before he'd asked her to marry him (twice, apparently), he'd realized that there was no one else in the world he'd rather have children with. Jemma knew him, understood him entirely and he loved her in a way he'd never loved anyone. But their jobs were dangerous, and so was their life in consequence. But now that they stood there, in the middle of a child's room in a small cottage in Scotland, he realized how much he craved it.
"We should get the bags" Jemma said finally, turning around to look at him. She swallowed and forced herself to smile, but Fitz could feel that something was left unsaid as they left the room, closing the door behind them. As they walked down the stairs, he squeezed her hand in his with an assurance he didn't know he had.
Deke had left them a note on the kitchen table.
"Hey Nana, Bobo.
I hope you liked the cottage I found, because it's officially yours, legally and all. Daisy helped me with that, so you are now the official owners of the FitzSimmons cottage. The set of keys May gave you is the only one I made, so you might wanna get a few others done in town. I'm sure you've looked around already, but Perth is twenty minutes away by car from where you are. You'll find one in the grange, she's not in the best shape but I'm sure Fitz will be able to work on her a little. The keys to the grange are in the little box on the table on your right as you walk into the house.
I'm sure you know, but the city's well known for its restaurants, so you guys might actually have the time to properly go on a date for once. Daisy told me about that time you guys FINALLY planned something only to end up stuck in the lab again, so… go wild. I filled the fridge for at least a week, and Jemma, Daisy and Elena told me to tell you that the right nightstand in the masters' bedroom had been filled with whatever you talked about. I'm not sure I want to know. Fitz, you'll find something in yours as well, on the left side of the bed.
I hope you'll get your post wedding yeehaw, at last. You saved the world, you guys sort of deserve it.
Take care of each other,
Deke."
They stayed silent for a little while after that, looking at the note in Fitz's hand in disbelief.
"The cottage's ours?" Jemma eventually asked, looking around. The cosy living room seemed even more inviting as she laid eyes on the small familiar touches -a blanket she initially had in the Playground thrown on the couch, a few framed photos of the team and themselves; and she realized that the team had planned this entirely in the small period of time they'd had before they left.
Fitz nodded, quite numbly as well."Yeah. I didn't… I promise that wasn't exactly what I planned."
Jemma seemed amused as she turned around to face him, hands on her hips.
"And what exactly were you planning, Leopold Fitz? Because so far, I feel like I'm just as lost as you are, and here I thought you'd learned from the best when it came to planning things."
Fitz huffed, slightly hurt. "I did plan a few things, thank you very much." He gestured around, eyes a little wide. "But I didn't think Deke would actually buy us a cottage."
His wife smiled.
"It's quite nice, though, isn't it?" She finally asked, crossing her arms on her chest pensively. "The cottage, but also his intentions."
"It is" Fitz admitted. "It's also a very nice cottage, and I do really wanna see the car now."
"Of course you do."
Jemma crossed the few centimeters between them with an assured step, arms open as she snuggled against her husband's chest with a sigh.
"You still haven't told me what your original intentions were" she remarked.
Fitz wrapped her in a hug, pushing his face against the side of her head. She could feel him nuzzle his hair as he inhaled, the steady rhythm of his heart beating against her own chest.
"I wanted us to have a honeymoon" he confessed. "I wasn't… I wasn't there for our own wedding, and I'll never get this back. But I figured that maybe, we could have something that is ours."
Jemma pulled back just enough to be able to look at him in the eyes. His baby blues bore into hers as she swallowed back her emotions as best as she could.
"Fitz… This is a wonderful idea."
She could feel him relax immediately in her embrace, and smiled.
"I also figured" he kept going quickly, looking a little sheepish "that we could maybe… renew our vows? I'd love… I'd really like to have a wedding, even if it's just the two of us here. I understand if you don't want to, but—"
"I'd love that" Jemma immediately interrupted him. "Fitz, I'd love that. Marrying the man I love, twice? This is everything I could have ever hoped for. Of course I'll marry you again."
She got up on her tip toes to kiss him softly, their mouths parting in a longing kiss. For the first time in what felt like forever, it was just the two of them, with no one to interrupt or world to save. Jemma could feel herself grow weak in the knees when Fitz nibbled at her lower lip, sucking it between his as his tongue traced the tip of hers.
"Fitz" she sighed, pulling back to take a deep breath.
He chased her lips for a second, and she shivered at the sight.
"We should unpack" she said, pushing a steady hand against his chest. Under her palm, his heart was rushing like crazy. "And get settled. It's getting late, and I wanna enjoy the house a little before we christen the bed."
"Is that a promise?" He asked, cheeky.
"Go get the bags and we'll see about that."
Luckily for them, Deke had planned some storage in the entire house, and way more than they actually needed for two weeks. As they emptied the content of their suitcases in the wardrobe of the main bedroom, Fitz sat down on the left side of the bed to open the drawer of his nightstand.
"Oh Lord" He groaned as soon as he saw its content, pushing his head in his hands.
As much as he was grateful for Deke and his kindness, he also felt like strangling him, at least just a little. There were various sorts of massage oils and lube in the drawer, as well as a few other things he shouldn't have received from his own grandson. He could see a cock ring and a vibrator amongst the lube bottles, and he closed the drawer shut with a sigh.
"Judging by the redness of your face" Jemma teased as she came sit next to him, putting her hand on his knee "I guess Deke really wanted us to enjoy this time alone."
"Please stop talking about our grandson when referring to our sex life" Fitz begged as Jemma laughed. "What's in yours, then? Deke said the girls put some things in yours as well."
Jemma immediately shrugged it off.
"Not sex related things, or at least not directly. Dont' worry, we've got plenty to do with your drawer alone."
He threw her a pointed look, which she returned.
"Is it… Secret?" He asked, mentioning at her drawer with his chin. "Is that why you're being so secretive about it?"
"It's not. You can look, if you want."
"Do you want me to look?"
Jemma rolled her eyes.
"Fitz. Just open the damn drawer."
He eventually got up, walking around the bed to open the drawer slowly. At first, his only reaction was to frown as he laid eyes on its content, before it hit him.
"Contraceptive pills and condoms" he said, looking back up at Jemma. "But… you've got an IUD."
At this, she bit her lower lip.
"Jemma" Fitz asked again. "You do have an IUD, right?"
"I had one" she replied quickly. "I had to take it off, after the entire monolith story. I guess these things aren't made to last in various timelines, or maybe my body just didn't adjust to the future. I had to take it off after we came back, because my hormone levels were off the charts and I was seriously feeling unwell."
Closing the drawer shut, Fitz came back to sit beside her again, taking her hand in his.
"So you took the pill?" He asked. "Doesn't it makes you sick? I remember the Academy, your periods were the worst."
At this, Jemma couldn't help but smile. Fitz was a grumpy nerd back at the Academy, and even after they'd started talking and became friends, he still had his moments that drove her absolutely crazy. But he'd always been extremely supportive of her whenever she felt sick to the point of missing classes when she had her period, and he'd actually been the one to convince her to take an appointment with a gynecologist outside of the campus, insisting that the one they had obviously wasn't doing her job thoroughly if she still suffered like this. She remembered him bringing her tea and heating pads every time she was absolutely miserable, and she also remembered how supportive he'd been when she'd wondered if getting an IUD was worth it.
"It does" she nodded. "Which is why I didn't take it. Somehow my periods haven't been that awful lately, which is why I didn't take the pill, but I still needed a contraceptive. I mean, it's not like we had any time to do anything really serious besides our wedding night at the time, but I wouldn't risk anything. Not when the loop wasn't broken, and you were…"
"Locked up" he finished for her. "Yeah, I see where your point is. So condoms it is, then."
Once again, she bit the inside of her cheek. There was something she wasn't telling him, and he knew her enough to be able to tell.
"What's on your mind?" He asked.
She stayed silent for a few seconds, before shaking her head.
"Nothing. I swear. Let's finish unpacking, yeah?"
Fitz didn't believe a word she said, but he didn't push. Instead, he pushed a kiss against her knuckles as they got up, leading them back to their suitcases to finish tidying it up a little bit.
They eventually found their way to the kitchen again after that, when Fitz's stomach rumbled loudly. After putting their now empty suitcases in the closet next to the living room, Jemma realized that the fridge had indeed been filled for a little while. Some of the cupboards had been filled with various ingredients like pastas and rice as well, and she soon found herself too tired to make anything complicated. When Fitz joined her in the kitchen to help, she simply asked him to fill a cooking pot with water as she took out a box of pastas.
"I don't feel like making anything complicated tonight" she confessed. "How do you feel about spaghettis?"
As soon as he was done filling the cooking pot with water and settling it on the stove, Fitz turned around and grabbed her waist, flushing their bodies together. Jemma's responded immediately, her skin burning where every inch of her body touched his. It felt like they hadn't had a moment to themselves for so long, and she couldn't wait to enjoy every single moment spent by her husband's side.
"I feel very good about everything as long as I'm with you" Fitz whispered against her forehead, pressing a kiss to it.
Jemma chuckled against his torso "You think you're very smooth, don't you?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
As soon as the water was boiling, Jemma put the spaghettis in it. Fitz had moved to push himself against her back, hands holding her hips as he followed each of her movement in the kitchen. They laughed like children when she had to walk towards the cupboard again to get tomato sauce, but he never once let go of her. Jemma couldn't even bring herself to care when she spilled a bit of sauce onto the pristine counter when he nipped at her lobe, and soon enough Fitz was getting the plates as Jemma drained the pastas.
"This is wonderful" Fitz said when they were seated on the big comfortable couch, the TV playing something they didn't even pay attention to in the background. They'd thrown a fluffy blanket over their legs, and sat on each side of the couch with their legs tangled. The domesticity of the scene made Fitz's skin tingle with goosebumps.
"It isn't much" Jemma repeated, swallowing around her mouthful of spaghettis.
Fitz rolled his eyes. "It's perfect."
They ate their dinner in silence, throwing themselves glances over their plates. By the time they were done though, Jemma was shivering under Fitz's heated gaze. It had been so long that a simple look and a caress against the side of her leg made her insides twist in anticipation. Fitz seemed to understand though, because he got up swiftly to dispose of their plates (Jemma was pleased to realize that they had a dishwasher) and by the time he got back, his pupils were almost black with want. Without a word, she got up and caught his hand, leading them to the first floor and into their (their!) room. It was almost funny to see how they hovered around each other for a small moment before Jemma crashed their lips into a kiss. When she opened her mouth to let her tongue explore Fitz's lower lip, she was pleased to hear him moan loudly. She'd always loved how vocal Fitz was in bed, even if he very often had to stifle his cries and moans against her skin at the base. She didn't have a lot of boyfriends (didn't have the time, really) before him, but she'd always felt a bit awkward when men didn't voice their pleasure and merely groaned as they fucked her. Coupled with the fact that sex had been okay but just okay before Fitz, it often led to her trying her hardest to make noises and fake most of the act. Fitz wasn't like that, and from the first time they'd slept together in Romania, he hadn't held anything back. Sometimes, the sounds and reactions she could get from him drove Jemma close to orgasm, and that was saying something.
"Jemma" Fitz whispered as they broke apart, his fingers fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. "I wanna see you."
They didn't waste any more time, getting naked as quickly as they could. They'd had time to enjoy undressing each other slowly at the beginning of their relationship and whenever they felt like it, but need and want burned through their veins tonight. When Jemma threw herself on her back on the bed, Fitz was quick to follow as he crawled over her, finding her mouth again.
"Want you so much" he said as he bit her lower lip, finding a path down her collarbone. "You're so gorgeous, it's unreal."
Jemma let out a sigh of pleasure when his stubble grazed her breast, and it turned into a moan when he wasted no time in sucking her right nipple into his mouth. With his hand, he caressed and slightly pinched the other one, making her arch against the bed as the onslaught of sensations drove through her.
"Fitz" she whispered lovingly. "Oh, Fitz. Feels so good."
He always did have an obsession for her breasts, and she wasn't complaining. But her core was clenching with want, and she huffed in frustration when he slid his mouth on her other nipple, ignoring the way she squirmed underneath him.
"Fitz" she groaned. "Please."
Luckily for her, Fitz had always liked directions (and sometimes, orders) when it came to their sex life. He was more than happy to oblige most of the time, and she didn't miss the way his cock twitched whenever she took the reins. This time however, he obediently let go of her breast with a loud pop and sat back on his heals, looking down at her.
"You're so beautiful" he said, caressing the thighs framing his hips. Between them, his hard cock was standing proudly, red with want and wet at the tip. "I could spend days worshipping your body."
A shiver made its way down Jemma's body, and she could feel the way her pussy quivered at the idea. But there were more pressing matters to tend to first.
"Not tonight" she begged, looking down at his cock. "Please."
"I know" he replied with a soft smile, hand coming down to rest against her hip. "But let me enjoy this first."
To demonstrate what he was talking about, he slid his hand from her hips to her core, pulling back just enough to allow his hand some movement. At the first touches of his fingertip against her, Jemma moaned softly, eyes fluttering shut. Fitz knew how to play her perfectly with his genius fingers, and she wasn't surprised when his thumb found her clit in no time. She was so wet it was dripping on the bed, anticipation as well as abstinence driving her crazy, and she didn't need to open her eyes to ear the soft gasp he let out. His thumb went from her clit to her hole to gather some wetness before going back up again, softly pushing against it with his warm digit.
"Fitz" she moaned, opening her eyes. He was looking down at his hand, cheeks flushed and lower lip between his teeth, and she could feel her legs turn to jelly at the sight. "Fitz, I want you."
"Not before I get a taste, baby girl" he whispered with a rough voice, confidence dripping from his tone.
It wasn't very often that Fitz felt confident in his daily life. Mostly because of his father and the impact his words had on him when he was a child, he was always second guessing himself when it came to everything. When it came to sex though, and most importantly Jemma's pleasure, he'd soon learned that she went completely crazy when he was confident enough to take decisions. And his decisions often ended up with his head between her legs, much to both their pleasure. Letting go of her clit to slide down the bed, Fitz grabbed her thighs firmly to spread them open as he dived in. Jemma squeezed her abs to raise her head, biting the inside of her cheek at the wonderful sight of her husband's mouth hovering above her pussy. Then, finally, he put his mouth on her.
"Oh God" Jemma whispered, letting her head fall back on the bed. She tried to open her legs wider, arching her back to get him wherever she wanted as her hand came down to firmly grab his curls.
Fitz was used to the reaction, going lax in her grip to let her lead him. There were times when he liked to tease her, drive her mad while testing her reactions, but tonight they were both too on edge for this. Unsurprisingly, she led him right to her clit, and he smiled against her folds. Her wetness was coating his chin and lips, and he felt dizzy with the smell of her arousal. He'd missed this so much it almost physically hurt, and couldn't help but let out a moan of his own when she tightened her grip in his hair as he teased her clit with the tip of his tongue. He knew exactly what drove her mad, and he dutifully applied all of his knowledge to make her see stars. He alternated between tiny licks and suckles on her bundle of nerves until her thighs were shaking around him, before he brought his hand to the mix and gently pushed his two middle fingers in her. The angle was a little awkward for his wrist and he could feel his stubble rub against his palm like this, but he wouldn't have stopped for the world. The way Jemma moaned her assent was music to his ears, and soon her walls tightened against his digit, warning him that she was close to coming. Much to her dismay, he pulled back, wiping his lips and chin with the back of his hand and licking his fingers clean, crawling back on top of her.
"Wanna feel you come around me" he explained against her lips when she kissed him again, hard.
"Then what are you waiting for?"
He had to pull back again to grab the condoms in her drawer, and they both giggled a little at the absurdity of the thing. They were married, and they had to use condoms for the very first time. Back when they'd slept together for the first time, they both knew they were clean of any STDs thanks to SHIELD's regular checkups, and Jemma had her IUD.
"Damn thing" Fitz mumbled as he sat back on his heels between her legs, struggling to open it.
"Give it" Jemma chuckled.
Much to Fitz's pleasure, she had a bit of troubles opening it too. She managed, though, and he sucked in a breath when she took him in hand and applied it slowly. Jemma had been Fitz's first, which meant that he'd never had to put one before. It felt weirdly intimate to see her roll it down his cock though, and Fitz couldn't help but push two fingers under her chin to raise it and kiss her softly.
"Make love to me, Fitz" she demanded when they parted. Her big brown eyes bore into his and he couldn't help but steal yet another kiss, pushing her back on the bed slowly.
They both sucked in a breath when their naked bodies pressed against one another, Jemma's breasts pushing against the flat of Fitz's torso. His cock grazed the lips of her labia, and Fitz brought a shaky hand between their bodies to guide himself inside of her. The first push of him always felt like heaven for the both of them because of the familiar sensations, and the way their bellies tightened with pleasure immediately. Jemma adored the way Fitz always let out a low moan when he pushed to the hilt, his fingers digging in her thighs or the sheets beneath them. This time was no exception, and he barely muffled his moan against her mouth as he bottomed out, pubis grazing her clit and making her see stars already.
"God I've missed you" Fitz whispered in between tiny kisses, eyes fluttering shut as he rolled his hips.
Jemma chuckled, breath short. "I've missed you, and this" she replied, one hand staying in his hair as the other one came down to grab his asscheek. "Come on, Fitz, fuck me."
The sensations were a little bit less intense with the condom, but neither of them cared very much. The sensations were still dizzying and extremely good, and when Fitz pulled back just enough to be able to slam back in, they both groaned in concert. Soon enough, Jemma was pounded into the soft mattress as they both moaned into each other's mouth. Their kisses were more tongue and teeth than anything else, but it was perfect. Each drag of Fitz's cock inside of her had Jemma whimper in pleasure, and every places where Fitz touched her felt on fire. He'd pushed one hand against the mattress to balance his weight while the other gripped her left thigh in a hard grip, and the angle of his trusts were perfect to stimulate every amazing places inside of her. They usually took a little more time when they made love, most often than not spending more time teasing each other than having penetrative sex, but this time they both craved each other too much. The proximity was maddening, and Jemma felt her body clench with pleasure quickly, her toes curling as she wrapped her legs higher around Fitz's hips, deepening his angle.
"Jemma" he groaned against her mouth, kissing her jaw before pushing his face in her neck. "Jemma, I'm…"
"I'm so close" she whispered in reply, her fingers tightening in his curls. "I'm so close, Fitz, it feels so good."
It took Jemma a couple of more thrusts before she came, letting out a low moan as she tightened around him, thighs quivering and back aching off the bed. Keeping his thrusts steady through her orgasm, Fitz pushed himself on his hands again to gaze at her face, whimpering when their eyes locked.
"You're so beautiful" he whispered, leaning down to steal a kiss as she slowly blinked the last remains of her pleasure away. "I love you so much."
"Love you too" Jemma replied, smiling lazily.
It didn't take much more for Fitz to come as well, his hips snapping forcefully a few more times before he whimpered, crashing his mouth against Jemma's to stifle his pleasure. His body went lax against her, and they took a moment to simply enjoy each other's company before Jemma pushed him off softly.
"You need to take off the condom" she explained in a yawn, stretching her naked body on the sheets.
Fitz's eyes roamed over the offered skin hungrily, and she chuckled.
"Come on, before it slips off. I'm not sleeping on the wet spot tonight."
Her sentence had the desire effect, and with a groan, Fitz rolled away and out of bed. When he looked around for a second, confused, he finally realized where they were.
"I'm so used to have a bathroom adjacent to the room" he grumbled with a sigh, grabbing his boxers briefs from the floor to wipe some of the wetness between his legs after disposing of the condom.
With another yawn, Jemma nodded. "Yeah, me too. This is gonna take some time getting used to, I guess."
Fitz quickly left the room to disappear in the bathroom, where he cleaned himself up a little bit and brushed his teeth. He was amused to realize that Jemma had already put all of their toiletries on the sink and in the wall cupboard above it, but secretly grateful that he didn't have to go through all of his items to find his toothbrush. When he came back to the bedroom, Jemma slipped past him with a kiss against his lips as she took the bathroom and closed the door behind her to prepare for the night as well. Fitz walked up to the bed, changing the top sheets that were a little wet and putting them away before rolling under the covers with a pleased sigh. The exposed beams were visible even in the dark with the rays of the moon bathing the room in a soft light, and he couldn't help but smile as he heard Jemma hum to herself as she moved in the bathroom.
"I have to say" she said when she came back, closing the bedroom door behind her. "It feels good to be just the two of us. I know I've said it before, and it probably sounds a bit awful, but I was looking forward to spending some time with you without Mack and Yoyo or even Daisy teasing us every time we sat a little closer than usual in the Zephyr."
Fitz chuckled, moving away from the middle of the bed to make room for her as she slid under the covers. Immediately, they migrated towards one another again, warm and exhausted bodies connecting as they cuddled. Fitz kissed her temple softly as she rolled over, presenting her back for him to cuddle her as they usually did at night.
"So, you wanna get another IUD?" Fitz asked against the back of her head as he spooned her. "I know there's something you didn't tell me when it comes to the whole contraceptive problem."
Contrary to what he could have expected, Jemma didn't tense against him. Her fingers kept stroking his hand, currently spread on her stomach. Eventually, she squirmed against him so that she could face him, tangling their legs together.
"It's not exactly that" she said, fingers coming up to cradle his face, thumb caressing the side of his jaw.
"What is it, then?"
Her eyes were still fixated into his, brown shining with something he couldn't quite decipher.
"Something I wanted to talk to you about. Before…"
"Before I died. Funny how that happens a lot, lately."
She smacked him in the arm lightly.
"I told you. Don't joke about that!"
"Sorry, sorry. I'm listening, I promise."
She sighed, wriggling a little bit to get more comfortable. Her thigh grazed his soft member and he let out a breath, giving her a warning look.
"Sorry" she said, not feeling sorry at all. "It's just… This is a conversation I've never had with the other you, and I don't know how you'll react."
He smiled. "Well. I do feel stubbornly happy about that, and you won't take that away from me."
"You're such a child."
"You're the one who chose to marry me! Twice!"
Jemma couldn't help but giggle at that, kissing the tip of his nose.
"That I did. But that's not what I wanted to talk about, don't you distract me with your ridiculously handsome face."
He meant to open his mouth and reply, but she pushed her fingers against his lips in warning. Obediently, he nodded, and she smiled.
"Back before the Chronicoms, before Izel and your death… It was on our wedding night that I just realized how ridiculous it was, seeing you struggle with a condom when we never had to put one. Back then, we didn't know if the world could be saved yet and if the loop would eventually be broken. But all I could think about was the fact that I was there with you, and even if we didn't manage to break the loop, I knew I wanted that future to be with you."
Fitz hummed. "So it took me being an idiot with the condom for you to realize you'd made the right choice when it came to our wedding? I'm glad I did that twice, then."
Jemma rolled her eyes.
"Would you please just listen to me until the very end?"
Fitz bit the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from speaking again. Jemma's hand found her way back in his hair, softly scratching his scalp with her fingernails just the way he liked. He sighed in contempt at the touch, and only then did she keep going.
"I knew I wanted to marry you a long time ago, Fitz. I knew you'd be in my life for a long time, and I told you before. You're my home, and I'll go wherever you go. But I want more than that."
A frown immediately distorted his face. She could see the slightest hint of panic in his blue eyes as he looked at her, searching for any clues of what she meant by that.
"What do you mean, more?"
"I mean that I don't think I should get another IUD." She explained. "And I don't wanna take the pill either."
Fitz shrugged, the movement made a little awkward by their position. "Well, it's your body Jem. We can stick to condoms, I'll get the hang of it. Eventually."
Jemma chuckled.
"No, Fitz. I don't wanna use condoms anymore, either."
He frowned in response, his fingers stopping their imaginary route on the skin of her hip. She could practically see the gears turn in his head when he replied.
"Yeah but then you'd probably get pregn… Oh."
He'd whispered the last part of his sentence, eyes widening as realization hit all at once. His fingers tightened on her hip, thumb brushing her lower belly slightly. Jemma felt herself grow anxious as he stared at her, mouth slightly open in surprise.
"You want a baby with me?" He eventually asked, breath short.
Tears were already forming in his eyes, and Jemma couldn't stop herself as she cradled his face with both hands this time, brushing away the wetness clinging to his waterline.
"Of course I want a baby with you, Fitz" she whispered, kissing the corner of his mouth. "You're my husband, the love of my life, and I want to have a family with you." She hesitated, a little unsure. "If you want it, that is."
Fitz nodded firmly, his nose bumping into her cheek when he did. "Yes" he exclaimed, probably louder than he'd intended. "Yes, Jemma. Yes, I want that with you. So much."
This time, he was the one to crash their mouths together, kissing her passionately as he pushed her on her back, sliding between her spread legs that she hiked behind his back.
"I love you so much" he whispered against her lips, pulling back just enough to be able to look at her in the eyes. "I'm so happy."
"I love you too" Jemma replied with a slightly wet smile, feeling herself grow emotional again. "I wanted to breach that subject after we'd saved the world, but the universe had it otherwise. I'm glad I waited, though."
Fitz chuckled, kissing both of her eyelids.
"I'm glad you waited, too."
He sighed, nuzzling at her throat slowly, kissing the slightly damp skin he could find there.
"But what about SHIELD?" He eventually asked. "If you get pregnant… We can't keep on going with the life we have there. We can't put our child in danger like that."
Jemma hummed in consent, caressing his neck as she arched her back in his embrace. "Yeah, I know" she eventually replied. But haven't we given SHIELD enough already?"
Fitz pulled back, locking his eyes in hers as he realized what she meant.
"You want to quit."
Jemma winced. "Maybe not quit entirely. We could… We could still help, from here, if they ever needed. Deke made sure we had a lab, and I'm not sure I could stand not working on anything anymore. But… maybe we could take a step back. Become consultants."
Fitz nodded, a serious expression taking place on his face immediately.
"Perth has a pretty good college" he said, looking at her. "I could… I could apply to teach there. I've always wanted to teach, one day. Never had the confidence back then, but I feel like I could probably enjoy it now."
Jemma chuckled. "Fitz, that'd be… that'd be wonderful."
"You could teach with me" he added, almost shyly. "I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard to convince people that we actually do work well together."
This time, Jemma let out a loud laugh.
"Yeah, I think we'd be able to convince them pretty easily." She caressed the side of his jaw with her thumb, still smiling. "Maybe not at first, you know? I feel like I'd rather enjoy working from home with you, at least until our child is old enough to go to school perhaps. SHIELD would still pay us quite enough to live comfortably, and when it wouldn't be the case anymore… I don't think getting hired to teach would be a problem."
She paused when she realized that Fitz was looking at her with a small smile curving the side of his lips, his eyes warm.
"What?"
He shook his head. "Nothing. I just… I love you so much. And I can't believe you're already planning our future when we haven't made that baby yet."
"Well you do know that I excel at preparation!" Jemma huffed, slapping him lightly on the shoulder. "It's not my fault I'm excited."
"Consider me happy to know that you're excited to have a baby with me, because that's all that matters to me in this story." Fitz teased, kissing her as she pouted.
Jemma tightened her legs, bringing their bodies closer together in the process. Fitz let out a slight moan at that when their intimacies touched, and he when he opened the eyes he didn't remember closing, he couldn't help but laugh at Jemma's heated gaze.
"Of course I'm excited to have a baby with you you idiot" she said, rolling her hips slightly. "You're my husband, and I've thought about us having a child for years now."
Fitz blinked in surprise.
"Wait… You did?"
She almost looked offended. "Of course I did. I love you, Fitz, and I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life by your side the moment we first talked when we were 16. I never thought it'd be like this and that we'd end up married, but I'm so glad it is the case. So of course I thought about having your children, from the moment we started dating. For the first time in my life, I was in a relationship that was strong and made me happier than I'd ever been. I couldn't see myself spending a single moment of my life without you, and between all those times we saved the world or prevented cataclysmic events, I imagined what our life could look like if we ever had a normal one."
Fitz couldn't take his eyes off of her as she spoke, her hand caressing his stubble making him shiver from head to toes. Their proximity made his head spin, and not only because they were naked and entangled in each other, but also because it was the first time they'd talk about their future in such a realistic way. As much as they both loved their SHIELD family with all their heart, there was no way they'd ever stay in the team forever. Not if they wanted to have their own family, at least. Hearing Jemma talk about it with such ease made him more emotional than he'd ever thought, because even if he'd never doubted her love, they'd been through so much and lived such dramatic events that a perfect future with the woman he loved seemed almost too good to be true. But Jemma was right, they'd given their lives for SHIELD several times before, and they were more than ready to skip to the next chapter of their lives.
"I first thought about having a child with you when we looked for a place together" Fitz whispered. "Daisy was on the run, there was a new director and our entire world had changed in so little time yet I just couldn't stop thinking about the fact that it was real, the both of us. We were looking for a place to call home, a place where we wouldn't have to share a kitchen with the rest of the team, a place we could decorate the way we liked and a place where we wouldn't have to muffle our noises when we made love."
The smile Jemma offered at that was both sheepish and smug.
"And one night it just hit me, when you were browsing through places on your computer in bed, that maybe we should look for a two bedroom apartment if we ever had children."
"Oh Fitz."
Jemma place her hand against the back of his neck to pull him towards her, kissing him softly on the mouth.
"I felt a little bit ashamed afterwards" he kept going with a snort. "Because it was so early in our relationship and I didn't even know if I was ready to be a father. But it was just so casual and natural, the way it came to me that night, that it got me thinking."
"I thought about it too" Jemma admitted in a breath. "When we were looking for a place."
Fitz bit the inside of his lip, an obvious sign of anxiety. "I even told Radcliffe, at some point, you know?"
No matter what had happened with the Framework afterwards, Radcliffe had been once like a father for Fitz. When Jemma was so often absent because of her new responsibilities, he'd often found himself confiding things to Radcliffe about their relationship and the fears he had when it came to it.
"What did he told you?" Jemma asked softly. She didn't press, didn't pity him either, and Fitz felt a surge of love as she proved to him once again that she knew him perfectly.
"He told me he was sure we'd get to that at some point" Fitz replied sadly. "Said we were unbreakable."
Unable to reply to that, Jemma simply kissed him softly once more. When their lips parted, Fitz balanced his weight against Jemma's as he pinned her to the mattress, hiding his face in her neck.
"Do you think I'll be a good father?" He asked, voice muffled by her skin.
Jemma smiled. "The very best."
"How can you be sure?"
It took Jemma several moments to gather an answer, not because she wasn't actually sure, but mostly because she knew Fitz would not accept a simple answer. Alastair Fitz had left marks on his son, deep metaphorical angry marks in his heart as he'd stepped out of his life and even before as he'd repeated him again and again how worthless he was through his entire childhood. The 16 years old Fitz that she'd met used his knowledge as a defense mechanism because of him, and the 32 years old Fitz currently pressed against her gave everything for his friends and family because of the marks he'd left. Fitz's entire life had been ruled by his father, and the Framework had confirmed it. The idea of him being anything like his father had never occurred to Jemma, however, just like she never saw the Doctor when she looked at him.
"Because I know you, Leopold Fitz. I know how much you care, and I know the lengths you'd go to for the ones you love. Because I've been by your side day by day since we were 16, and never once have I thought you were capable of ever being as cold as your father. You're a good man, Fitz, and I love you. And I think it's safe to say that I'm smart enough to know who I want to be the father of my child, and I've never once doubted the fact that you were that man."
She felt him shag against him as soon as the words were out of her mouth, and she tightened her grip on his body. He was half crushing her with his weight, but she couldn't care less at this moment.
"I love you" he whispered again, kissing his way up to her mouth. "I love you so much, Jemma."
"I love you too, Fitz."
"I wanna be that man you admire so much" he whispered, uncertainty shining in his eyes. "I wanna be that father you already see."
"And you will, Fitz. I have not a single doubt that you will."
Jemma didn't say a single thing when she felt his hand press against her belly as he embraced her from behind again after that, peppering her neck with kisses that made her shiver from head to toes, but she did hid a smile in her pillow when he linked their hands on her belly as they fell asleep.