"Are you seriously about to walk away from me again, Saruhiko!?"
Rain was pouring down once again, just like it was on that dreaded night Fushimi had left Homra to join Scepter 4. It was like that entire night was replaying, only this time, Fushimi was wanting to disappear from his life for good. Yata still didn't understand why...actually he did understand why, it had just taken him a bit too long to understand, even after Fushimi had returned to him. Why? Why did this keep happening to them? Why was fate so cruel to them? Why!?
As Yata stood there in the storm, his hazel colored eyes remained locked on Fushimi's icy blue ones. He still had yet to get an answer, an answer he was growing rather tired of waiting on. Fushimi stood there, unmoving with his hands shoved in his pockets. He continued to stare Yata down with a blank expression on his face. The silence between them was literally killing Yata. He finally couldn't take it anymore. Clenching his fist, he finally walked right up to Fushimi, gripping the collar of his Scepter 4 coat rather tightly. The raven finally made a sound, though it was just a simple click of the tongue. That sound...it irritated Yata so very much.
"Answer me, you damn monkey! Are you about to walk away from me again!? Yata repeated his question, this time a bit louder than before. The increased sound caused Fushimi to flinch slightly, followed by the motion of turning his head to lean away from Yata's obnoxiously loud voice.
"Saruhiko...I swear-" Yata had started to speak once more, but was silenced when a cool hand grasped onto the wrist that was holding onto Fushimi's coat. Yata's eyes followed the hand that was now holding onto him rather loosely, only to see that the raven in front of him had finally moved.
"Misaki…" Fushimi's voice was just as cold as that stare was. It caused the smaller boy to shudder slightly, but he still didn't move to get away from him.
"Tell me what's going on Saru… Please I don't want you to walk away again…" Yata's voice was starting to sound more desperate than angry. He could have sworn he heard his voice cracking as well. Was he seriously about to break down and cry?
"Misaki… You're still just as clueless as ever. You should already know the answer as to why I'm walking away again. What have you not done since I came back into your life?" Fushimi finally forced Yata to let go of his coat, only so he could turn his back on the ginger.
"You're still mad about me abandoning you, aren't you? That's literally all I can think of! That's why you left the first time. You thought I was abandoning you when I started looking up to Mikoto more and started being around him more often! You thought I was going to forget that you existed...but Saru, honestly how could you think such things? Every night, I always came back to our shared apartment. I always came home to you!" Yata was growing even more emotional now. He thought they had gotten past all of that. He thought they had made up and became friends again, so why was this happening again!?
"That doesn't answer my question. You're just going over the facts you already know. You think you know what the problem is, but in reality you don't. If you can't figure it out then I'm not spelling it out for you. That's why I'm walking away. You'll never figure it out, so I'm not going to waste my time." Fushimi's words cut deep, almost like a knife stabbing him in the chest. Yata had shifted his gaze to the ground for a moment, only to look up when he heard the sound of wet footsteps walking away from him. To his horror, it was happening again, right before his eyes. Maybe he didn't know after all. Maybe he really was just as clueless as he had been the first time.
"Saruhiko! Please just tell me what I didn't do! Don't leave me behind again!" Yata shouted out as the tears finally started to pour down his cheeks.
"When you figure it out… Maybe I'll be willing to listen to you. Until then, I'm leaving." Fushimi didn't even turn around as he continued to fade into the distance, his figure slowly disappearing into the stormy night.
Screaming loudly, Yata fell to his knees. He brought his hands up to cover his face as he continued to scream into the air, only to have the sound covered by a loud crack of thunder. What had he done wrong!? What had he forgotten!? They talked everything out! They fixed everything, so why was he angry!? Why was he leaving!? The questions kept flowing through his mind while he searched helplessly for the answer that was so painfully obvious.
After what seemed like forever, something finally clicked. His hands fell from his face and hung loosely at his side while he continued to stare up at the sky. Rain continued to pour down, running down his cheeks and mixing with the tears that fell from his eyes. Of course...it was so obvious now. It finally hit him, only it had hit too late.
"I...never apologized…" Yata mumbled quietly. How could he have forgotten to do such a thing? He was the one who owed Fushimi the apology for making him think that he was abandoning him. He pushed Fushimi to do everything he had done. It had all been his fault, and he never apologized for it. Now it was too late… Fushimi had disappeared into the storm, and Yata found that he couldn't get to his feet. Everything around him was crashing down like it had on that dreadful night.
"Saruhiko… I- I'm so damn sorry…" The ginger had only whispered it at first, knowing that wouldn't get him anywhere. He knew Fushimi wouldn't hear it, but that didn't stop him from screaming it as loudly as he possibly could.
"SARUHIKO! I'M SO SORRY! PLEASE COME BACK! PLEASE!" He could only scream for so long before his voice started to die out, along with his vision starting to blur. He found himself falling onto his side, everything around him was darkening. Was he about to pass out? Or was it something more than that?
"Saru...I'm sorry…"
"Misaki! Misaki, wake up!" A familiar voice was calling to him, but he didn't know where it was coming from. He felt himself being shaken, but he only squirmed under whoever was trying to get his attention. Only one person called him by his first name, but that couldn't possibly be who was calling to him. He remembered that person walking away from him, leaving him out in the storm.
"Misaki!" The voice came louder this time, loud enough to finally snap Yata out of whatever he had been in. His hazel eyes suddenly flew open, followed by a loud gasp escaping from the back of his throat. As he frantically looked around, he found that he was lying on his back in a dimly lit room. His room...his apartment...no their apartment.
"S-Saru…" Yata had finally found his words, but his voice was so quiet, it could barely be heard. Was he breathing hard? He could tell that his heart was racing and his body was trembling. It was a panic attack...caused by what must have been a horrible nightmare.
"Damn...you scared me half to death…" Fushimi let out a small sigh of relief as he ran a hand through his messy raven colored hair. He had been woken up by Yata practically screaming his name and sobbing hysterically. That was when he figured out that his precious Misaki had been having a nightmare. Shaking his head slightly, he moved so he could carefully pull the trembling ginger to his chest.
"Y-you're still here… You didn't leave…" Yata sniffled slightly, burying his face against the dark blue shirt the raven had been wearing. It really had been nothing more than a horrible dream, a horrible dream that made him realize he had forgotten something very important the day he and Fushimi had made up.
"Of course I'm still here. I'm right here beside you. I've got you." Fushimi spoke softly, bringing a hand up to run his fingers through Yata's red colored hair in a soothing way. If the blue clansmen had to guess… Yata must have been having a nightmare about the day he left. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I...I feel like I need to...I just need a minute to calm down…" Yata's voice was still rather quiet, and he was still shaking pretty hard, even though Fushimi was right here next to him. That was proof enough that it had been nothing more than a dream, but Yata still worried that it would become a reality if he didn't do something soon.
The two of them continued to lay there in silence, allowing Yata all the time he needed to calm down. Fushimi didn't even try to move once while they waited. He kept his arms firmly around the ginger's smaller body, his hand still gently rubbing at the back of the boy's head. Even he was still a bit freaked out by the whole incident. He had never heard Yata scream like that before, not even when they were younger. It had been truly terrifying, something he didn't ever want to hear again.
"Okay… I think I can talk now…" Yata's soft voice finally broke the silence between the two of them.
"Alright...just take your time and try to breathe. We have all night." Fushimi didn't want to rush Yata into telling him anything. If he had to be up all night with his boy, then so be it. He would just call work tomorrow and tell them he wasn't coming. He didn't feel that he could leave Yata after that incident anyways.
"It was a nightmare… A similar situation to the day you left Homra, it was even raining. Everything was replaying just like that day, but you were leaving me for a second time. I thought I knew why, but it turns out, I had no idea. I didn't realize what I had done wrong until you had already walked away from me…" Remembering it all caused more tears to form in Yata's already reddened eyes. They fell down his tear stained cheeks, causing the front of Fushimi's shirt to become slightly damp.
So that's what this was. It was true, there was something Yata hadn't done yet, but it hadn't bothered Fushimi very much, mostly because he was just happy to be back in the ginger's life. Yata had forgiven him for that incident, and that meant more to him than anything, but now he was curious. What had Yata finally realized? Fushimi leaned himself back slightly so he could finally get a look at Yata's face, only to find that the sight caused his heart to ache. Seeing Yata looking so upset, so desperate, so broken… He wanted that pain to go away.
"Tell me, Misaki. What is it that you haven't done?" Fushimi's hand moved from the back of Yata's head to his cheek so he could wipe away the falling tears with his thumb. He felt Yata's grip tightening on his shirt, but it only caused him to tighten his hold on the smaller boy's waist.
"I...never apologized. It was because of me that you left to begin with. I started looking up to Mikoto, started getting closer to him and it caused you to think I was forgetting about you. It never crossed my mind that you might have been feeling that way. I thought you were happy… I didn't realize that it was actually the opposite until it was too late. You had gone and joined Scepter 4 and walked out of my life… Saruhiko…" Yata stopped talking for a moment, only to let out a small sigh. He didn't want that dream to become a reality. He wanted things to stay exactly like they were. The two of them had become best friends again...actually they had become more than that. They had fixed their relationship after being separated by hatred for so long, and Yata didn't want that to be thrown away again.
"Listen Misaki… It isn't just your fault and you know that. It's mine as well. You know I never belonged in Homra… Everyone was far too violent for my liking. Scepter 4 was a much better fit for me, and after all this time, I know you finally realized it. Still, I didn't need to take it as far as I did. Instead of talking it out like a normal person, I decided to damage your pride and make you hate me. However, that's all in the past now…" Fushimi hummed softly, leaning forward to lightly bump their foreheads together.
"I know we both made mistakes, hurt each other, and did stupid things but still… I'm the one who pushed you that far. Saruhiko… I'm really sorry...for everything. I don't want you to walk out of my life again. I don't want that dream to become a reality… Please don't ever leave me again…" Yata closed his eyes tightly. He was still trembling slightly, but for the most part he was calming down. The fear was still there though. The fear of Fushimi still deciding to walk away from him.
"You idiot…" Fushimi let out a small chuckle, causing Yata's eyes to open once again. He found himself staring into Fushimi's icy blue eyes and saw a small smile on his face. Yata was about to ask, but Fushimi quickly brought his hand up to silence the ginger. "Regardless of everything that you and I went through in the past, I've already forgiven you, just like I hope you've forgiven me. We've been under the same roof for a little over a month now and things have never been better for the two of us. We even took our relationship to the next level. I don't ever plan on leaving you again. I don't want either of us to end up going through that hell again. I plan on remaining right here by your side until the day I take my last breath. Do you understand me?"
Yata had listened carefully to Fushimi's words, making sure to take each one to heart. He knew the raven wasn't lying to him. He could see that clear as day. The Saruhiko lying beside him was the same Saruhiko he had known back in middle school. The fake one was no longer here, no longer between them. Shaking his head slightly, Yata finally unclenched his hands from Fushimi's now wrinkled shirt, only to move them so that they were wrapped tightly around his neck.
"I understand, Saru… I'm still really sorry. I'll be spending the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, giving you all my attention just like I used to, as long as you remain next to me like you said you would." A small smile finally formed on the ginger's face, but Fushimi didn't see it for very long, only because the smaller boy had moved to tuck his head underneath his chin.
The raven's own smile grew slightly wider as he rested his chin on top of Yata's messy hair. Some of it had started to tickle his nose, but it didn't bother him too much. While keeping a tight hold on the ginger, Fushimi turned slightly to flick off the lamp beside their futon, darkening the room once again. He then pulled the blankets tighter around the two of them, only to once again wrap his arm around the other. Yata let out a small sigh as he snuggled closer to Fushimi's chest, providing them both with any extra warmth they may have needed.
"Misaki…" Fushimi's soft voice hit his ears, instantly earning his attention.
"Hm? What is it?" Yata asked in a voice that was just as soft.
"I love you...and I promise I'll be right here when you wake up." Fushimi mumbled softly as he buried his nose in Yata's ginger colored locks.
"I love you too, you dummy…" Yata laughed quietly, hearing a small scoff coming from the back of Fushimi's throat.
Sleep took both of them over only a few minutes later, only for Yata to be woken up a few hours by a small beam of light that was shining through his curtains. He groaned softly and rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand before he rolled away from the pestering light. Once he rolled, he found his face pressed against something hard, which caused him to realize that he was actually still being held tightly by something...or someone.
The ginger slowly opened his tired eyes, only to smile when he was met with Fushimi's sleeping face. He really was still here, just like he promised he would be. Leaning forward, Yata pressed a soft kiss to the raven's forehead before snuggling right against him once again. He felt the other's grasp tighten on his body, but it seemed that he still remained asleep. That was fine though. Yata hadn't intended on waking his lover up twice in a row, besides he was still pretty tired as well. It didn't take him long to end up falling asleep again in the arms of the one person he cherished more than anything in this world.
'You promised to be right here when I woke up, and you were. Now I promise to be right here until the day I take my last breath…'
Hey everyone! I decided on doing a little one shot for these two while I continue to work on the next chapter of Liar! I wanted to give a little bit of angst and comfort for the two of them and ugh, I got so many feels writing this! I hope you guys enjoyed the one shot! Thank you so much for reading! I'll see you guys in the next update of Liar! Bye for now!
~~MaskedNinja