AN: Archie is an original character and not at all integral to the plot (like I said in my first AN, the plot is basically the plot from the book)

***DNMCY1***

"Archie!"

Jack's yell caused Donna to look up and across the square where they were sitting to enjoy the sunshine. Jack had not exaggerated about the bloke's sense of fashion. He was wearing a sweater vest with a bright blue shirt underneath, a top hat on his head and...

"Is that... spandex?"

Jack glanced at her with laughter in his eyes.

"Why yes, yes it is. Orange neon spandex, even. You have to admit, I am better dressed than that."

"That you are, future boy."

Jack smirked. "Look who's talking." He turned to his friend before she could reply, so she settled for rolling her eyes.

"Jack, hi!" Archie replied when he'd reached them. The two men shook hands. Donna noticed the man was handsome enough, if she looked past the spandex. Not quite on the level of Jack, but then few men were, at least outside of Hollywood. He had brown curly hair down to his shoulders and a clean-shaven face. His brown eyes were kind, something she'd learned to judge many years ago.

"So, what was the rush?" he asked when introductions had been given. "Your message sounded urgent."

Donna quickly jumped in. "Let's go somewhere private first. This whole situation is odd enough without everyone staring."

Archie smiled at her, but the patronising tilt of his lips dropped him a few points in her esteem.

"What's that, little girl? Why are people staring at you?"

Donna crossed her arms and turned her best glare on the fellow, a gesture that, while pretty diminished by her new stature, was still effective enough that he took a step back.

"They're not staring at me, sunshine. Now let's go!"

"Alright, alright! Hold your hippogriffs, girl. Merlin, you've a temper on you."

Even as he spoke, he allowed himself to be led towards Jack's flat, something she was very grateful for. The sooner he was out of the public eye, the better.

When they arrived, Jack turned to his friend.

"I'll just come straight to the point. We have a simple question for you, but the answer could save us a lot of trouble. Does the word 'Hogwarts' mean anything to you?"

Archie raised his eyebrows.

"That sort of depends on why you want to know."

Donna nodded towards the table.

"Because I got a letter from them asking me to attend their school."

Archie's face visibly brightened when he spotted the parchment. "You're a witch? Congratulations! Let me shake your hand!"

Oddly enough, all traces of the condescension she'd noticed earlier were gone. Huh. It seemed they were one step closer to unraveling this whole mess.

"Alright, so you do know Hogwarts then," she said, even as Archie was pumping her hand up and down. "So, first question first – How the bloody hell are they expecting me to send an owl?"

Archie looked surprised, either at the question or her choice of words. He ran his hand through his hair in a manner that reminded Donna painfully of the Doctor. "You mean you haven't been visited by anyone to explain magic to you? I mean, you're fairly obviously muggleborn, if I may be so bold to say. You should be on the list for house-calls."

Donna placed her hands on her hips, an action that again fell woefully short compared to her adult body, since she didn't have hips to speak of.

"Oy, who're you calling a... what did you call me?"

Archie quickly raised his hands in a placating gesture. "Sorry! I said muggleborn. Muggle is just our word for people without magic. I meant no disrespect."

"Well it sounds offensive, just so you know. To answer your question, no, I did not see anyone, just a big owl that delivered that letter and then flew off."

"That's odd. That's the procedure for wizard-raised students, since they assume either they or their parents will have their own owl, or at the very least access to postal owls. You're quite sure you didn't know about magic before now?"

"If I had, we wouldn't be having this conversation. I, for one, wouldn't have gambled on an oddly-dressed bloke being part of some hidden society if I'd known about said society."

"What's wrong with the way I dress?" Archie seemed genuinely offended, looking down at his sartorial choice. "I have been reliably informed this is the height of fashion amongst muggles."

Donna snorted. "A decade ago, maybe, and never with that combination. If you're not part of the mass acid trip that is the eighties, your common sense should tell you that orange and neon does not go together. You might want to review just how reliable your source really is. Look, I'll give you some pointers later if you want. Can we please get back on topic?"

"Right, sorry. Tell you what, I'll get in touch with Hogwarts, get them to send one of their representatives, and they can tell you everything you need to know. They're much better equipped to answer a muggleborn's questions than I am. I'll also let them know you'll be attending – I mean, you were planning to accept, right? Hogwarts is the best school there is, you know."

Donna shrugged. "Might as well give this magic lark a go, I didn't really have a preference for a school anyway. How soon d'you think we'll see someone?"

"Hard to say, though I don't think it'll be much longer than a week."

"That's great. Thanks, Archie, you've been a wonderful help. Now, about that outfit..."